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That Said, In The Two Weeks Before I Leave For The Dark Days Tour, I Am Going Radio Silent, Which Means I Will Be Avoiding The Internet At All Costs In Order To Revise, Revise, Revise. I Will Miss You. Tris Says Hi, Though.

-Veronica Roth

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That Said, In The

Veronica Roth

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That Said, In The Two Weeks Before I Leave For The Dark Days Tour, I Am Going Radio Silent, Which Means I Will Be Avoiding The Internet At All Costs In Order To Revise, Revise, Revise. I Will Miss You. Tris Says Hi, Though.

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I Know Some Things--i Know That I'm Not Alone, That I Have Friends, That I'm In Love. I Know That I Don't Want To Die, And For Me That's Something--more Than I Could Have Said A Few Weeks Ago.

Psyche You Out?" I Repeat. "i'm Your Friend. I Wouldn't Do That." He Doesn't Say Anything. I Can Tell He Doesn't Believe Me-not Quite.

Independent And Uninvolved. Must Be Nice. -tris

Nothing Else Is Alright. But We Are. -tobias

My Name Will Be Edith Proir," She Says. "and There Is Much I Am Happy To Forget.

I'll Have To Keep Looking For More Of Them, More Brief Moments Of Freedom In A World That Refuses To Allow It.

You're Too Important To Just... Die.

I Shield My Eyes From The Sun To See Her Cold Look—the Expression I Saw In My Mind Even Before I Looked At Her. She Looks Older To Me Than She Ever Has, Stern And Tough And Worn By Time. I Feel That Way, Too. “these People Have No Regard For Human Life,” She Says. “they’re About To Wipe The Memories Of All Our Friends And Neighbors. They’re Responsible For The Deaths Of A Large Majority Of Our Old Faction.” She Sidesteps Me And Marches Toward The Door. “i Think They’re Lucky I’m Not Going To Kill Them.

I Get The Strange Urge To Hit My Head Against The Wall. Other People's Sobs Make Me Feel Uncomfortable.

Cowardice Is How You Decide To Be In Real Life

Are You Conceding?' He Says, His Mouth Falling Open With Mock Surprise. 'seems Like That Serum Did You Some Good After All...' I Shove Him As Hard As I Can. 'take That Back. Take It Back Now.' 'okay, Okay!' He Puts Up His Hands. 'it's Just... I'm Not Very Nice Either, You Know. That's Why I Like You So- ' 'out!' I Shout, Pointing At The Door.

I’m Not Anyone,” He Says. “i’m Nobody. That’s What Being Factionless Is.

Divergent Series

I See A Kind Of Thirst In Her Expression, The Same One I Saw When She Told Me About Her Brother In The Back Room Of The Tattoo Parlor. Before The Attack Simulation I Might Have Called It A Thirst For Justice, Or Even Revenge, But Now I Am Able To Identify It As A Thirst For Blood. And Even As It Frightens Me, I Understand It. Which Should Probably Frighten Me Even More.

No Selfishness Or Insecurity Kept Him From Seeing The Full Extent Of Her Goodness, As It So Often Does With The Rest Of Us. That Kind Of Love May Only Be Possible In Abnegation. I Do Not Know.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

But When I Do Feel All The Strength Go Out Of Me, And I Fall To My Knees Beside The Table And I Think I Cry, Then, Or At Least I Want To, And Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

Can You Tell Me Where To Find Tobias'? I Ask. When I Imagine His Face, Affection For Him Bubbles Up Inside Of Me And All I Want To Do Is Kiss Him. 'four, I Mean. He's So Handsome, Isn't He? I Don't Really Understand Why He Likes Me So Much. I'm Not Very Nice, Am I?' -tris

I Feel Myself Acting Like A Lunatic, But I Can't Stop. It Would Be Like Refusing To Breathe.

God Tris, Are You Even Human?

I Will Be My Undoing, If I Become My Obsession. I Will Forget The Ones I Love, If I Do Not Serve Them. I Will War With Others, If I Refuse To See Them. Therefore, I Choose To Turn Away From My Reflection, To Rely Not On Myself But On My Brothers And Sisters, To Project Always Outward Until I Disappear [and Only God Remains.]

It Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall, Is A Sign Of Cowardice.

I Don't Want To Stop You. I Want You To Stop Yourself.

How Is It I Know This Little About The Boy Who Says He Loves Me -- The Boy Whose Real Name Is Powerful Enough To Keep Us Alive In A Train Car Full Of Enemies?

It's Easy To Be Brave When They're Not My Fears.

I Fell In Love With Him. But I Don't Just Stay With Him By Default As If There's No One Else Available To Me. I Stay With Him Because I Choose To, Every Day That I Wake Up, Every Day That We Fight Or Lie To Each Other Or Disappoint Each Other. I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

You Think My First Instinct Is To Protect You. Because You're Small, Or A Girl, Or A Stiff. But You're Wrong." He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife? My Skin Tingles At The Point Of Contact, Like He's Transmitting Electricity Through His Skin. "my First Instinct Is To Push You Until You Break, Just To See How Hard I Have To Press." He Says, His Fingers Squeezing At The Word Break. My Body Tenses At The Edge In His Voice, So I Am Coiled As Tight As A Spring, And I Forget To Breathe.

I'm Divergent. And I Can't Be Controlled.

I Frown At Him. How Does He Know All This Information? And Why, After Two Years Of Avoiding Becoming A Dauntless Leader At All Costs, Is He Suddenly Acting Like One?

I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

I Didn't Know That Idiocy Caused People To Just Start Spontaneously Bleeding From The Nose.

The Only Reason I Haven't Shot You Yet Is Because He's The One Who Should Get To Do It," I Say. "stay Away From Him Or I'll Decide I No Longer Care.

He Looks Like A Man Who Has Spent Most Of His Life Frowning.

Sometimes I Just... Want To See It Again. Want To See You Awake.

Decades Ago, Our Ancestors Realized That It Is Not Just Political Ideology, Religious Belief, Race, Or Nationalism That Is To Blame For A Warring World. Rather, They Determined That It Was The Fault Of Human Personality - Of Humankind's Inclination Towards Evil, In Whatever Form That Is. They Divided Into Factions That Sought To Eradicate Those Qualities They Believed Responsible For The World's Disarray.

I Wasn't Good Enough For Abnegation," I Say, "and I Wanted To Be Free. So I Chose Dauntless." "why Weren't You Good Enough?" "because I Was Selfish." I Say. "you Were Selfish? You Aren't Anymore?" "of Course I Am. My Mother Said That Everyone Is Selfish," I Say, "but I Became Less Selfish In Dauntless. I Discovered There Were People I Would Fight For. Die For, Even.

When Her Body First Hit The Net, All I Registered Was A Gray Blur. I Pulled Her Across It And Her Hand Was Small, But Warm, And Then She Stood Before Me, Short And Thin And Plain And In All Ways Unremarkable- Except That She Had Jumped First. The Stiff Had Jumped First. Even I Didn't Jump First. Her Eyes Were So Stern, So Insistent. Beautiful.

The Theory Is That If You Spill All Your Secrets, You'll Have No Desire To Lie About Anything, Ever Again. Like The Worst About You Is Already In The Open, So Why Not Just Be Honest?

Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

If The Dauntless Knew About This, Everyone Would Be Getting In Line To Learn How To Drive It,” He Says. “including Me.” “no, They Would Be Strapping Themselves To The Wings.” Christina Pokes His Arm. “don’t You Know Your Own Faction?

I Have Never Had Parents Who Set Good Examples, Parents Whose Expectations Were Worth Living Up To, But She Did. I Can See Them Within Her, The Courage And The Beauty They Pressed Into Her Like A Handprint.

Human Reason Can Excuse Any Evil; That Is Why It's So Important That We Don't Rely On It.

The Truth Is... You Are Hurting Me. Not On Purpose, I Know That. But I Love You And Every Second That You Don´t Love Me Back...it Hurts.

Even Though I Am Still Injured, I Had To Fight Again Today.luckily This Time,i Was Paired Against Myra,who Couldn't Throw A Good Punch If Someone Was Controlling Her Arm For Her.

A Sob Racks My Body Again, And He Wraps His Arms Around Me So Tightly I Find It Difficult To Breathe, But It Doesn't Matter. My Dignified Weeping Gives Way To Full-on Ugliness, My Mouth Open And My Face Contorted And Sounds Like A Dying Animal Coming From My Throat. If This Continues I Will Break Apart, And Maybe That Would Be Better, Maybe It Would Be Better To Shatter And Bear Nothing.

Any Idiot Can Stand In Front Of A Target," I Say. "it Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall Is A Sign Of Cowardice" "then It Should Be Easy For You," Eric Sys. "if You're Willing Ot Take His Place.

I Feel Acutely Aware Of How Young I Am. In A Way That Is Good. It's Productive. It Makes Me Realise That I Should Be Growing As A Writer And A Person.

I Am Fed Up. I Am Fed Up With Tears And Weakness. But There Isn't Much I Can Do To Stop Them.

My Problem Might Be That Even If I Did Go Home, I Wouldn’t Belong There, Among People Who Give Without Thinking And Care Without Trying.

It Must Be Because You're So Approachable", I Say Flatly. "you Know, Like A Bed Of Nails." He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice. Heat Rushes Into My Cheeks. What Will Happen When This Tension Breaks? But He Just Says, "careful, Tris.

Oh. I Just Assumed... That Because I Am So Absorbed By Him Everyone Must Be Too.

I Guess I Always Knew There Was Something Wrong With Me, But I Thought It Was Because Of My Father, Or My Mother, And The Pain They Bequeathed To Me Like A Family Heirloom, Handed Down From Generation To Generation. - Tobias Eaton

Inquisitiveness Is Self-serving, Johanna. -marcus Eaton

Humans Can't Tolerate Emptiness For Long.

Somewhere Inside Me Is A Merciful, Forgiving Person. Somewhere There Is A Girl Who Tries To Understand What People Are Going Through, Who Accepts That People Do Evil Things And That Desperation Leads Them To Darker Places Than They Ever Imagined, I Swear She Exists, And She Hurts For The Repentant Boy I See In Front Of Me. But If I Saw Her, I Wouldn't Recognize Her.

I’d Ask You To Hang Out With Us, But You’re Not Supposed To See Me This Way.’… ‘what Way?’ I Ask. ‘drunk?’ ‘yeah…well, No.’ His Voice Softens. ‘real, I Guess.’ ‘i’ll Pretend I Didn’t.’ ‘nice Of You.’ He Puts His Lips Next To My Ear And Says, ‘you Look Good, Tris.’… I Laugh. ‘do Me A Favor And Stay Away From The Chasm, Okay?’ ‘of Course.’ He Winks At Me.

Four Sits Down On The Edge Of The Carousel, Leaning Against A Plastic Horse's Foot. His Eyes Lift To The Sky, Where There Are No Stars, Only A Round Moon Peking Through A Thin Layer Of Clouds. The Muscles In His Arms Are Relaxed; His Hand Rests On The Back Of His Neck. He Looks Almost Comfortable, Holding That Gun To His Shoulder. I Close My Eyes Briefly. Why Does He Distract Me So Easily? I Need To Focus.

I Will Be My Undoing If I Become My Obsession.

Yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight - Toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

In My Own Relationships, I Know That I Should Break Up With Someone Who Doesn't Encourage Me To Be Strong And Make My Own Choices And Do What's Best In My Life, So If You're Dating Someone Who Doesn't Want You To Be The Best Person You Can Be, You Shouldn't Be Dating Them.

Cute Relationship

That Night We Push Our Cots Just A Little Closer Together, And Look Into Each Other's Eyes In The Moments Before We Fall Asleep. When He Finally Drifts Off, Our Fingers Are Twisted Together In The Space Between The Beds. I Smile A Little, And Let Myself Go.

You Are Holding A Loaded Gun, You Idiot. Act Like It.

"what Did You Do?” This Time The Question Tears From My Throat Like A Growl. I Throw Myself Toward Him. “what Did You Do?” I Scream. “you Die, I Die Too. I Asked You Not To Do This. You Made Your Decision. These Are The Repercussions."

But When You Kill Someone You Love, The Hard Part Is Never Over. It Just Gets Easier To Distract Yourself From What You've Done.

Someone You Love

He Is Strong, And Lithe, And Certain. And He Is Mine.

He Told Me Once To Be Brave, And Though I Have Stood Still While Knives Spun Toward My Face And Jumped Off A Roof, I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

Knowledge Is Power. Power To Do Evil...or Power To Do Good. Power Itself Is Not Evil. So Knowledge Itself Is Not Evil.

Knowledge And Power

Knowledge Is Power

It Seems Like The Rebellions Never Stop, In The City, In The Compound, Anywhere. There Are Just Breaths Between Them, And Foolishly, We Call Those Breaths “peace".

Thank You For Your Honesty.

My Father Has A Way Of Persuading People Without Charm That Has Always Confused Me. He States His Opinions As If They’re Facts, And Somehow His Complete Lack Of Doubt Makes You Believe Him. That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

All I Want Is To Become Someone New. In This Case, Tobias Johnson, Son Of Evelyn Johnson. Tobias Johnson May Have Lived A Dull And Empty Life, But He Is At Least A Whole Person, Not This Fragment Of A Person That I Am, Too Damaged By Pain To Become Anything Useful.

It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

I Expect To Weave Through The Crowd, Dodging Elbows And Muttering "excuse Me" The Way I Always Do, But There Is No Need. Becoming Dauntless Has Made Me Noticable.

Color Fills Her Cheeks, And I Think It Again: That Johanna Reyes Might Still Be Beautiful. Except Now I Think That She Isn't Just Beautiful In Spite Of The Scar, She's Somehow Beautiful With It, Like Lynn With Her Buzzed Hair, Like Tobias With The Memories Of His Father's Cruelty That He Wears Like Armor, Like My Mother In Her Plain Gray Clothing.

Instead I Just Let The Silence Stretch Out Between Us. It's The Only Adequate Response To What He Just Told Me, The Only That Does The Tragedy Any Justice Instead Of Patching It Hastily And Moving On.

I Did Not Know That My Entire Personality, My Entire Being, Could Be Discarded As The Byproduct Of My Anatomy. What If I Really Am Just Someone With A Large Prefrontal Cortex...and Nothing More?

I Don’t Know What World You Live In, But In Mine, People Only Do Things For You For One Of Two Reasons. The First Is If They Want Something In Return. And The Second Is If They Feel Like They Owe You Something.

May The Peace Of God Be With You," She Says, Her Voice Low, "even In The Midst Of Trouble." "why Would It?" I Say Softly, So No One Else Can Hear. "after All I've Done..." "it Isn't About You," She Says. "it Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

I Do Know Who You Are. I Just Needed To Be Reminded.

I Realize That The Decision Might Be Simple. It Will Require A Great Act Of Selflessness To Choose Abnegation, Or A Great Act Of Courage To Choose Dauntless, And Maybe Just Choosing One Over The Other Will Prove That I Belong.

You Sadistic Pansycake.

Cruelty Does Not Make A Person Dishonest, The Same Way Bravery Does Not Make A Person Kind.

From Your Results I Have Determined That You Are One Of The Strongest Divergent, Which I Say Not To Compliment You But To Explain My Purpose. If I Am To Develop A Simulation That Cannot Be Thwarted By The Divergent Mind, I Must Study The Strongest Divergent Mind In Order To Shore Up All Weaknesses In The Technology.

Compliments You

His Hand Touches My Waist, Steadies Me. The Touch Sends A Shock Through My Body, And All My Insides Burn Like His Fingers Ignited Them. I Pull Close To Him, Pressing My Body Against His, And Lift My Head To Kiss Him.

Sometimes I See Him As Just Another Person, And Sometimes I Feel The Sight Of Him In My Gut, Like A Deep Ache.

I Think That You Are The Liar!" I Say, My Voice Quaking. "you Tell Me You Love Me, You Trust Me, You Think I'm More Perceptive Than The Average Person. And The First Second That Belief In My Perceptiveness, That Trust, That Love Is Put To The Test, It Falls Apart." I Am Crying Now, But I Am Not Ashamed Of The Tears Shining On My Cheeks Or The Thickness Of My Voice. "so You Must Have Lied When You Told Me All Those Things... You Must Have, Because I Can't Believe Your Love Is Really That Feeble.

At Home I Used To Spend Calm, Pleasant Nights With My Family. My Mother Knit Scarves For The Neighborhood Kids. My Father Helped Caleb With His Homework. There Was A Fire In The Fireplace And Peace In My Heart, As I Was Doing Exactly What I Was Supposed To Be Doing, And Everything Was Quiet. I Have Never Been Carried Around By A Large Boy, Or Laughed Until My Stomach Hurt At The Dinner Table, Or Listened To The Clamor Of A Hundred People All Talking At Once. Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

I Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i'm Waiting Until I'm Sure To Tell You, Though.

I Feel Like What I Have Become Is Halfway Between My Mother And My Father, Violent And Impulsive And Desperate And Afraid. I Feel Like I Have Lost Control Of What I Have Become.

I Know That I Am Birdlike, Made Narrow And Small As If For Taking Flight, Built Straight-waisted And Fragile. But When He Touches Me Like He Can't Bear To Take His Hand Away, I Don't Wish I Was Any Different.

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes Bravery Involves Laying Down Your Life For Something Bigger Than Yourself, Or For Someone Else. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved, For The Sake Of Something Greater. But Sometimes It Doesn't. Sometimes It Is Nothing More Than Gritting Your Teeth Through Pain, And The Work Of Every Day, The Slow Walk Toward A Better Life. That Is The Sort Of Bravery I Must Have Now.

Every Question That Can Be Answered Must Beanswered Or At Least Engaged. Illogical Thought Processes Must Bechallenged When They Arise.wrong Answers Must Be Corrected.correct Answers Must Be Affirmed. —from The Erudite Faction Manifesto

We Believe In Shouting For Those Who Can Only Whisper, In Defending Those Who Cannot Defend Themselves.

Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion.

I Used To Think That Cruelty Required Malice, But That Is Not True. Jeanine Has No Reason To Act Out Of Malice. But She Is Cruel Because She Doesn't Care What She Does, As Long As It Fascinates Her. I May As Well Be A Puzzle Or A Broken Machine She Wants To Fix. She Will Break Open My Skull Just To See The Inner Workings Of My Brain; I Will Die Here, And That Will Be The Merciful Thing.

We Believe That Preparation Eradicates Cowardice, Which We Define As The Failure To Act In The Midst Of Fear.

We're All Right, You Know,' He Says Quietly. 'you And Me. Okay?' My Chest Aches, And I Nod. 'nothing Else Is All Right.' His Whisper Tickles My Cheek. 'but We Are.

The Shouts Of Triumph Become Infectious, And I Lift My Voice To Join In, Running Toward My Teammates. Christina Holds The Flag Up High, And Everyone Clusters Around Her, Grabbing Her Arm To Lift The Flag Even Higher. I Can't Reach Her, So I Stand Off To The Side, Grinning. A Hand Touches My Shoulder. "well Done," Four Says Quietly.

I'm Surprised You Know That," I Say Quietly, " Since You Left Halfway Through My One And Only Fight." "it Wasn't Something I Wanted To Watch." He Says. What's That Supposed To Mean?

Suicide To Them Is An Act Of Selfishness. Someone Who Is Truly Selfless Does Not Think Of Himself Often Enough To Desire Death.

Like A Wild Animal, The Truth Is Too Powerful To Remain Caged.

That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

No Matter How Long You Train Someone To Be Brave, You Never Know If They Are Or Not Until Something Real Happens.

But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

Be Brave, Beatrice. I Love You.

In 'insurgent' We Realise How Large The World Really Is

Everything - Our Houses, Our Clothes, Our Hairstyles - Is Meant To Help Us Forget Ourselves And To Protect Us From Vanity, Greed And Envy, Which Are Just Forms Of Selfishness. If We Have Little, And Want For Little, And We Are All Equal, We Envy No One.

You Won," Four Mutters. "stop." I Wipe The Sweat From My Forehead. He Stares At Me. His Eyes Are Too Wide; They Look Alarmed.

Being Honest Doesn't Mean You Say Whatever You Want, Wherever You Want. It Means That What You Choose To Say Is True.

It's Wrong," He Says. "it Doesn't Matter If Your Parents Are In A Better Place, They Aren't Here With You, And That's Wrong, Tris. It Shouldn't Have Happened. It Shouldn't Have Happened To You. And Anyone Who Tells You It's Okay Is A Liar.

Peter Would Probably Throw A Party If I Stopped Breathing.' 'well,' He Says, 'i Would Only Go If There Was Cake.

I'm Not Dauntless - I'm Divergent. I Am Whatever I Choose To Be.

We May Both Be Bad, But There’s A Huge Difference Between Us—i’m Not Content With Being This Way.

Do It Fast, You Pansycake.

He Pus His Lips Next To My Ear And Says, “you Look Good, Tris.

When You're A Teenager, Everything Seems Like The End Of The World, And I Don't Think That's Necessarily A Silly Thing. You're Waking Up And Becoming Aware That The World Has Problems And Those Problems Affect You, Whereas When You're Young They Don't Seem To Affect You That Much Even If You're Aware Of Them. This Dystopian Trend Picks Up On That Little Part Of Your Life Where Everything Feels Really Extreme And It Honors That Part Of Your Life And Says, "yeah. It Is The End Of The World. Look At It."

And Is It Selfish Of Me To Crave Victory, Or Is It Brave?

Four Flips The Gun In This Hand, Presses The Barrel To Peter's Forehead, And Clicks A Bullet Into Place. Peter Freezes With His Lips Parted, The Yawn Dead In His Mouth. "wake. Up," Four Snaps. "you Are Holding A Loaded Gun, You Idiot. Act Like It.

He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog, But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice.

What's This About Flashing Underwear?" Says Uriah, Sidestepping A Bunk. "whatever It Is, I'm In.

Sarcasm Is Always At Someone's Expense.

Two Things You Should Know About Me; The First Is That I Am Deeply Suspicious Of People In General. It Is My Nature To Expect The Worst Of Them. And The Second Is That I Am Unexpectedly Good With Computers.

I'm Going To Stop A Revolution,'' I Say. I Turn Right, And Peter Follows Me.

You Promised You Wouldn't Tell Her," She Says, Pointing At Me. "what Happened To Protecting Her?" "i Changed My Mind," I Say. Tris Laughs, Harshly,"that's What You Told Him, That He Would Be Protecting Me? That's A Pretty Skillful Manipulation. Well Done.

Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

What Do I Believe? I Do Not Know; I Do Not Know; I Do Not Know.

It's Not That I Ever Sat Down And Outlined A Trilogy, But I Always Have A Sense Of What Size An Idea Is When I Start It.

But I Understand Now What Tori Said About Her Tattoo Representing A Fear She Overcame-a Reminder Of Where She Was, As Well As A Reminder Of Who She Is Now. Maybe There Is A Way To Honor My Old Life As I Embrace My New One. "yes," I Say. "three Of These Flying Birds." I Touch My Collarbone, Marking The Path Of Their Flight-toward My Heart. One For Each Member Of The Family I Left Behind.

Do The Elevators Work?" I Ask Uriah, As Quietly As I Can. "sure They Do." Says Zeke, Rolling His Eyes, "you Think I'm Stupid Enough Not To Come Here Early And Turn On The Emergency Generator?" "yeah," Says Uriah. "i Kinda Do.

It's Like He Knows, He Knows I Have A Thing For Her.

Before We Sit Down, He Puts His Mouth Next To My Ear And Says, “i Like Your Hair That Way.

Sometimes, The Best Way To Help Someone Is Just To Be Near Them.

Writing Means Not Just Staring Ugliness In The Face, But Finding A Way To Embrace It.

I Stare At Him. I Feel My Heartbeat Everywhere, Even In My Toes. I Feel Like Doing Something Bold, But I Could Just As Easily Walk Away. I Am Not Sure Which Option Is Smarter, Or Better. I Am Not Sure That I Care.

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

I Try To Catch My Breath And Calm Myself Down, But It Isn't Easy. I Was Dead. I Was Dead, And Then I Wasn't, And Why? Because Of Peter? Peter? I Stare At Him. He Still Looks So Innocent, Despite All That He Has Done To Prove That He Is Not. His Hair Lies Smooth Against His Head, Shiny And Dark, Like We Didn't Just Run For A Mile At Full Speed. His Round Eyes Scan The Stairwell And Then Rest On My Face. "what?" He Says. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" " How Did You Do It?" I Say.

Is This Prior?" "in The Flesh." "why's He Bleeding?" "because He's An Idiot." Zeke Offers Me A Black Jacket With A Factionless Symbol Stitched Into The Collar. "i Didn't Know That Idiocy Caused People To Just Start Spontaneously Bleeding From The Nose." I Wrap The Jacket Around Caleb's Shoulders And Fasten One Of The Buttons Over His Chest. He Avoids My Eyes. "i Think It's A New Phenomenon.", I Say.

Out Of My Peripheral Vision, I See Four Shove The Door Open And Walk Out. Apparently This Fight Isn't Interesting Enough For Him. Or Maybe He's Going To Figure Out Why Everything's Spinning Like A Top, And I Don't Blame Him; I Want To Know The Answer Too.

Al Walks In, And I Don't Even Have To Ask Him To Help Me, He Just Walks Over And Strips Bedding With Me. I Will Have To Scrub The Frame Later. Al Carries The Stack Of Sheets To The Trash And Together We Walk Toward The Training Room. "ignore Him," Al Says. "he's An Idiot, And If You Don't Get Angry, He'll Stop Eventually.

We Share A Common Enemy, But Does That Make Us Friends?

Don't Confuse Your Grief With Guilt.

He Pushes His Hair, Soaked From The Snow, Out Of His Eyes. "so What Are We Going To Do, Break A Window? Look For A Back Door?" "i'm Just Going To Walk In," I Say. "i'm Her Son." "you Also Betrayed Her And Left The City When She Forbade Anyone From Doing That," He Says, "and She Sent People After You To Stop You. People With Guns." "you Can Stay Here If You Want," I Say. "where The Serum Goes, I Go," He Says. "but If You Get Shot At, I'm Going To Grab It And Run." "i Don't Expect Anything More." He Is A Strange Sort Of Person.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

Or You Can Stay Frigid," Says Will, His Green Eyes Glinting With Mischief. "you Know. If You Want." Christina Throws A Roll At Him. He Catches It And Bites It. "don't Be Mean To Her," She Says. "frigidity Is In Her Nature. Sort Of Like Being A Know-it-all Is In Yours." "i Am Not Frigid!" I Exclaim. "don't Worry About It," Says Will. It's Endearing. Look You're All Red.

Because Even A Sliver Of Distance Between Us Is Infuriating.

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved For The Sake Of Something Greater.

Every Faction Conditions Its Members To Think And Act A Certain Way. And Most People Do It. For Most People, It's Not Hard To Learn, To Find A Pattern Of Thought That Works And Stay That Way. But Our Minds Move In A Dozen Different Directions. We Can't Be Confined To One Way Of Thinking, And That Terrifies Our Leaders. It Means We Can't Be Controlled. And It Means That No Matter What They Do, We Will Always Cause Trouble For Them.

You're Not Very Nice," I Say, Grinning. "you're One To Talk." "hey, I Could Be Nice If I Tried." "hmm." He Taps His Chin. "say Something Nice, Then." "you're Very Good-looking." He Smiles, His Teeth A Flash In This Dark. "i Like This 'nice' Thing.

Sometimes I Forget That I Can Hurt You. That You Are Capable Of Being Hurt

People, I Have Discovered, Are Layers And Layers Of Secrets. You Believe You Know Them, That You Understand Them, But Their Motives Are Always Hidden From You, Buried In Their Own Hearts. You Will Never Know Them, But Sometimes You Decide To Trust Them.

His Fingers Slide Into My Hair, And I Hold On To His Arms To Stay Steady As We Press Together Like Two Blades At A Stalemate. He Is Stronger Than Anyone I Know, And Warmer Than Anyone Else Realizes; He Is A Secret That I Have Kept, And Will Keep For The Rest Of My Life.

I Think About Pressing Myself Against Him, But I Can't, Because All Our Secrets Would Keep A Space Between Us.

Politeness Is Deception In Pretty Packaging.

This Is How We Came By Our Factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation And Dauntless." Max Smiles. "in Them We Find Administrators And Teachers And Counselors And Leaders And Protectors. In Them We Find Our Sense Of Belonging, Our Sense Of Community, Our Very Lives.

Caleb," I Say, "i Love You." His Eyes Gleam With Tear As He Says, "i Love You, Too, Beatrice.

You Need To Be Passionate About The Creative Work That You're Doing, But You Need To Be Kind Of Emotionally Separated From How People React To It Or How It Does. Those Things Should Be Secondary, And Primary Should Be Your Love Of The Creative Act.

He Touches My Face, Covering My Cheeks With His Hands, Sliding His Fingertips Down My Neck, Fitting His Fingers To The Slight Curve Of My Hips. I Can't Stop.

Who Cares About Everyone? What About Me?

But Now I’m Wondering If I Need It Anymore, If We Ever Really Need These Words, “dauntless,” “erudite,” “divergent,” “allegiant,” Or If We Can Just Be Friends Or Lovers Or Siblings, Defined Instead By The Choices We Make And The Love And Loyalty That Binds Us.

Sometimes, All It Takes To Save People From A Terrible Fate Is One Person Willing To Do Something About It. Even If That "something" Is A Fake Bathroom Break.

That's The First Time I've Ever Said Those Words Out Loud, And Now I Hear How Strange They Are. How Many Young Men Fear That There Is A Monster Instead Them? People Are Supposed To Fear Others, Not Themselves.

I Feel Like Someone Is Pressing Me Into A Mold That Does Not Fit My Body, Forcing Me Intothe Wrong Shape.

As A Teenager, I Put A Lot Of Pressure On Myself, And A Lot Of That, For Me, Was About Finding A Moral High Ground. As I've Grown Up, I've Decided To Abandon That Because It Made Me Judgmental And Also Stressed Me Out.

Moral High Ground

Beatrice," She Says. "beatrice, We Have To Run." She Pulls My Arm Across Her Shoulders And Hauls Me To My Feet. She Is Dressed Like My Mother And She Looks Like My Mother, But She Is Holding A Gun, And The Determined Look In Her Eyes Is Unfamiliar To Me.

For A Few Minutes We Kiss, Deep In The Chasm, With The Roar Of Water All Around Us. And We Rise, Hand In Hand, I Realize That If We Had Both Chosen Differently, We Might Have Ended Up Doing The Same Thing, In A Safer Place, In Gray Clothes Instead Of Black Ones.

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

I Look Out The Window Again, Taking Slow, Deep Breaths Into A Body Too Tense To Move. And As I Stare Out At The Land, I Think That This, If Nothing Else, Is Compelling Evidence For My Parents’ God, That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel. -tris Prior

I Like To Think That Im Helping Them By Hating Them

I Catch Myself Thinking 'thank God For This' Out Of Habit, And Then I Understand What He's So Concerned About. What If My Parents' God, Their Whole Belief System, Is Just Something Concocted By A Bunch Of Scientists To Keep Us Under Control? And Not Just Their Beliefs About God And Whatever Else Is Out There, About Right And Wrong, About Selfishness?

The Person You Became With Her Is Worth Being.

He Smiles In My Memory. A Curled Lip. Straight Teeth. Light In His Eyes. Laughing, Teasing, More Alive In Memory Than I M In Reality. It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

The Gun Goes Off. I Fall.

I Point At A Window To My Left, And It Explodes. Particles Of Glass Rain Over Us. ‘you’ll Have To Do Better Than That,' I Say.

Four Grabs A Bar With Each Hand And Pulls Himself Up, Easy, Like He's Sitting Up In Bed. But He Is Not Comfortable Or Natural Here--- Every Muscle In His Arm Stands Out. It Is A Stupid Thing For Me To Think When I Am One Hundred Feet Off The Ground.

When You're A Writer, You Hear Your Internal Critic, And That's Really Hard To Get Over. And Then Sometimes You Hear Critiques From Classmates And Stuff. But When A Book Comes Out, It's Just Hundreds Of Opinions And You Have To Learn To Separate Out The Ones You Want To Listen To Or Figure Out Many You Want To Listen To.

So You're Her Brother? Says Linn. I Guess We Know Who Got The Good Genes.

We've All Started To Put Down The Virtues Of The Other Factions In The Process Of Bolstering Our Own. I Don't Want To Do That. I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest." He Clears His Throat. "i Continually Struggle With Kindness.

That Our World Is So Massive That It Is Completely Out Of Our Control, That We Cannot Possibly Be As Large As We Feel.

I Settle Into Their Pace. The Uniform Pounding Of Feet In My Ears And The Homogeneity Of The People Around Me Makes Me Believe That I Could Choose This. I Could Be Subsumed Into Abnegation’s Hive Mind, Projecting Always Outward.

I Cross My Arms. "it Was A Two Minute Conversation." "i Don't Think A Smaller Time Frame Makes It Less Unwise." He Furrows His Eyebrows And Touches The Corner Of My Bruised Eye With His Fingertips. My Head Jerks Back, But He Doesn't Take His Hand Away. Instead He Sighs. "you Know, If You Could Just Learn To Attack First, You Might Do Better." "attack First?" I Say. "how Will That Help?" "you're Fast. If You Can Get A Few Good Hits In Before They Know What's Going On, You Could Win." He Shrugs, And His Hand Falls.

You Always Look Like Someone's Sucked The Life Right Out Of You When Something Fascinates You. -tris

I Figured I Would Shoot The Bullets Out Of My Nostrils, So I Left [the Gun] Upstairs.

Ignore Them. They Don't Know What It Is To Make A Difficult Decision." "you Wouldn't Have Done It, I Bet." "that Is Only Because I Have Been Taught To Be Cautious When I Don't Know All The Information, And You Have Been Taught That Risks Can Produce Great Rewards.

Don't You Dare Try To Apologize." His Voice Shakes. "this Is Not Something You Can Bandage With A Word Or Two And Some Hugging, Or Something.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up. I've Seen It. It's Fascinating." He Releases Me But Doesn't Pull Away, His Hand Grazing My Jaw, My Neck. "sometimes I Just...want To See It Again. Want To See You Awake.

If We Stay Together, I'll Have To Forgive You Over And Over Again, And If You're Still In This, You'll Have To Forgive Me Over And Over Again Too. So Forgiveness Isn't The Point. What I Really Should Have Been Trying To Figure Out Is Whether We Were Still Good For Each Other Or Not

It Isn't The Height That Scares Me - The Height Makes Me Feel Alive With Energy, Every Organ And Vessel And Muscle In My Body Singing At The Same Pitch. Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

My Dear Girl. I Am His Family. I Am Permanent. You Are Only Temporary.

I Was Angry With Him Before. I’m Not Really Sure Why. Maybe I Was Just Angry That The World Had Become Such A Complicated Place, That I Have Never Known Even A Fraction Of The Truth About It. Or That I Allowed Myself To Grieve For Someone Who Was Never Really Gone, The Same Way I Grieved For My Mother All The Years I Thought She Was Dead. Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And It’s Been Played On Me Twice.

I Get Up, Because I’m Supposed To, But If It Were Up To Me, I’d Stay In My Seat For The Rest Of Time.

If You Are Really One Of Us, It Won't Matter To You That You Might Fail. And If It Does, You Are A Coward.

The Candor Sing The Praises Of The Truth, But They Never Tell You How Much It Costs.

My Name Is Four,” I Say. “call Me ‘stiff’ Again And You And I Will Have A Problem.

In Order To Have Peace, We Must First Have Trust.

You Don't Have To Tell Me Everything Right Away, But I Have To Tell You Everything Right Away? Can't You See How Stupid That Is?

Tobias And Tris

I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest.

I Also Don't Believe That Whatever Come After Life Depends On My Correctly Reciting A List Of My Transgressions-that Sounds Too Much Like An Erudite Afterlife To Me, All Accuracy And No Feeling.

Did You Just Call Me Beatrice?

My Parents Did Love Each Other. Enough To Forsake Plans And Factions. Enough To Defy “faction Before Blood.” Blood Before Faction--no, Love Before Faction, Always. - Tris Prior

You're The One Who Has To Live With Your Choice, Everyone Else Will Get Over It, Move On, No Matter What You Decide. But You Never Will

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