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One Piece Of Advice I Have Is: Want Something Else More Than Success. Success Is A Lovely Thing, But Your Desire To Say Something, Your Worth, And Your Identity Shouldn’t Rely On It, Because It’s Not Guaranteed And It’s Not Permanent And It’s Not Sufficient. So Work Hard, Fall In Love With The Writing — The Characters, The Story, The Words, The Themes — And Make Sure That You Are Who You Are Regardless Of Your Life Circumstances. That Way, When The Good Things Come, They Don’t Warp You, And When The Bad Things Hit You, You Don’t Fall Apart.

-Veronica Roth

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One Piece Of Advice

Veronica Roth

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One Piece Of Advice I Have Is: Want Something Else More Than Success. Success Is A Lovely Thing, But Your Desire To Say Something, Your Worth, And Your Identity Shouldn’t Rely On It, Because It’s Not Guaranteed And It’s Not Permanent And It’s Not Sufficient. So Work Hard, Fall In Love With The Writing — The Characters, The Story, The Words, The Themes — And Make Sure That You Are Who You Are Regardless Of Your Life Circumstances. That Way, When The Good Things Come, They Don’t Warp You, And When The Bad Things Hit You, You Don’t Fall Apart.

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Falling In Love

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I Am Afraid Of Her, Afraid Of What She Says-and Thrilled By It Too, Because It Means I Don't Have To Accept That I Am Smaller Than I Once Believed.

So This Is Where You Grew Up. Did You Like It Here? I Guess You Couldn't Have, If You Wanted To Leave.' Christina 'i Liked Some Things And Hated Some Things. And There Were Some Things I Didn't Know I Had Until I Lost Them.' Tris

I Shift From One Foot To The Other, Trying To Get A Good Look At Him. When I Finally Do, I Look Away. His Eyes Were Already On Me, Probably Drawn By My Nervous Movement.

No Factions? A World In Which No One Knows Who They Are Or Where They Fit? I Can't Even Fathom It. I Imagine Only Chaos And Isolation.

It's Strange How A Word, A Phrase, A Sentence, Can Feel Like A Blow To The Head.

I Realize That The Decision Might Be Simple. It Will Require A Great Act Of Selflessness To Choose Abnegation, Or A Great Act Of Courage To Choose Dauntless, And Maybe Just Choosing One Over The Other Will Prove That I Belong.

Whoa There, Tobias," Says The Man To My Left. "weren't You Raised A Stiff? I Thought The Most You People Did Was... Graze Hands Or Something." "then How Do You Explain All The Abnegation Children?" Tobias Raises His Eyebrows. "they Are Brought Into Being By Sheer Force Of Will," The Woman On The Arm Of The Chair Interjects. "didn't You Know That, Tobias?" "no, I Wasn't Aware." He Grins. "my Apologies.

Psyche You Out?" I Repeat. "i'm Your Friend. I Wouldn't Do That." He Doesn't Say Anything. I Can Tell He Doesn't Believe Me-not Quite.

Or You Can Stay Frigid," Says Will, His Green Eyes Glinting With Mischief. "you Know. If You Want." Christina Throws A Roll At Him. He Catches It And Bites It. "don't Be Mean To Her," She Says. "frigidity Is In Her Nature. Sort Of Like Being A Know-it-all Is In Yours." "i Am Not Frigid!" I Exclaim. "don't Worry About It," Says Will. It's Endearing. Look You're All Red.

May The Peace Of God Be With You," She Says, Her Voice Low, "even In The Midst Of Trouble." "why Would It?" I Say Softly, So No One Else Can Hear. "after All I've Done..." "it Isn't About You," She Says. "it Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

Is This Prior?" "in The Flesh." "why's He Bleeding?" "because He's An Idiot." Zeke Offers Me A Black Jacket With A Factionless Symbol Stitched Into The Collar. "i Didn't Know That Idiocy Caused People To Just Start Spontaneously Bleeding From The Nose." I Wrap The Jacket Around Caleb's Shoulders And Fasten One Of The Buttons Over His Chest. He Avoids My Eyes. "i Think It's A New Phenomenon.", I Say.

Peter Leans Forward And Looks Into My Eyes. "the Serum Will Go Into Effect In One Minute," He Says. "be Brave, Tris." My Heart Begins To Race. Why Would Peter Tell Me To Be Brave? Why Would He Offer Any Kind Words At All?

My Problem Might Be That Even If I Did Go Home, I Wouldn’t Belong There, Among People Who Give Without Thinking And Care Without Trying.

"what Did You Do?" I Scream. "you Die, I Die Too."

Who Cares About Everyone? What About Me?

Ingenuity Requires Creativity.

Well, I Already Know What Happened To My Face", I Say. "i Was There. Sort Of

I'm Going To Shoot A Muffin Off Marlene's Head.

We Believe In Shouting For Those Who Can Only Whisper, In Defending Those Who Cannot Defend Themselves.

Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide- Open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

I'm A Fairly Religious Person, So I Believe In Some Things That Sound A Little Crazy I'm Sure, Depending On Where You're Standing. I Believe In Leaving Room For Things That You Can't Explain In The Universe, And You Don't Have To Be Religious To Leave Room For Those Things.

Ser Sincero En Todo Momento Debe Requerir Valor. Yo No Sabría Hacerlo.

Candor Does Not Provide Us With Protection, Sustenance, Or Technological Innovation. Therefore You Are Expendable To Us.

You Know, Most Boys Would Enjoy Being Trapped In Close Quarters With A Girl." I Roll My Eyes. "not Claustrophobic People, Tris.

I Don't Want To Stop You. I Want You To Stop Yourself.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up. I've Seen It. It's Fascinating." He Releases Me But Doesn't Pull Away, His Hand Grazing My Jaw, My Neck. "sometimes I Just...want To See It Again. Want To See You Awake.

Do It Fast, You Pansycake.

Be Brave, Beatrice. I Love You.

We Kiss Again And This Time, It Feels Familiar. I Know Exactly How We Fit Together, His Arm Around My Waist, My Hands On His Chest, The Pressure Of His Lips On Mine. We Have Each Other Memorized.

I Have To Face The Fear. I Have To Take Control Of The Situation And Find A Way To Make It Less Frightening.

I Laugh Shakily. ‘you’re A Little Scary, Four.’ ‘do Me A Favor,’ He Says, ‘and Don’t Call Me That.’ ‘what Should I Call You, Then?’ ‘nothing.’ He Takes His Hand From My Face. ‘yet.

That's What Love Does. When It's Right, It Makes You More Than You Were, More Than You Thought You Could Be.

But That Wasn´t The First Time I Ever Saw Her. I Saw Her In The Hallways At School, And At My Mother’s False Funeral, And Walking The Sidewalks In The Abnegation Sector. I Saw Her, But I Didn’t See Her; No One Saw Her The Way She Truly Was Until She Jumped. I Suppose A Fire That Burns That Bright Is Not Meant To Last.

They Try To Make You Think They Care About What You Do But They Don't. They Don't Want You To Act A Certain Way. So You're Easy To Understand. So You Won't Pose A Threat To Them.

Thank You For Your Honesty," Niles Says. The Candor Repeat The Phrase Under Their Breath. All Around Me Are The Words "thank You For Your Honesty" At Different Volumes And Pitches, And My Anger Begins To Dissolve.

He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife?

Looking At Her Is Like Waking Up.

There Are So Many Ways To Be Brave In This World. Sometimes It Involves Giving Up Everything You Have Ever Known, Or Everyone You Have Ever Loved For The Sake Of Something Greater.

I Frown At Him. How Does He Know All This Information? And Why, After Two Years Of Avoiding Becoming A Dauntless Leader At All Costs, Is He Suddenly Acting Like One?

I See Love Developing From Friendship. Common Ground Is A Strong Basis For Friendship. My Husband Is My Best Friend And We Have A Lot In Common Even Though We're Admittedly Different People. I Think It Evolves From How I See Relationships Working. You Know, The Opposites Attract Thing Happens All The Time, But So Does The Best Friends Thing. It's Just A Great Kind Of Relationship In Fiction.

It's Not About Being Fearless, It's About Acting In Spite Of Fear

He Pulls Me Over The Railing And Against His Chest, Gathering Me Into His Arms, Easing An Arm Under My Knees. I Press My Face Into His Shoulder, And There Is A Sudden, Hollow Silence.

I Feel Like Myself, Strong And Weak At Once - Allowed, At Least For A Little While, To Be Both.

Arrogance Is One Of The Flaws In The Erudite Heart -- I Know. It Is Often In Mine.

The Opinions Of Others Cannot Damage You.

I’m Not Anyone,” He Says. “i’m Nobody. That’s What Being Factionless Is.

Divergent Series

He Looks Like A Man Who Has Spent Most Of His Life Frowning.

I Just Wanted To Thank You' He Says, His Voice Low. 'a Group Of Scientists Told You That My Genes Were Damaged, That There Was Something Wrong With Me - They Showed You The Test Results That Proved It. And Even I Started To Believe It.' He Touches My Face, His Thumb Skimming My Cheekbone, And His Eyes Are On Mine, Intense And Insistent. 'you Never Believed It,' He Says 'not For A Second. You Always Insisted I Was... I Don't Know, Whole.

...there Is Power In Self-sacrifice.

For Someone So Small, You're Heavy, Stiff," He Mutters.

Any Idiot Can Stand In Front Of A Target," I Say. "it Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall Is A Sign Of Cowardice" "then It Should Be Easy For You," Eric Sys. "if You're Willing Ot Take His Place.

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Four Grabs A Bar With Each Hand And Pulls Himself Up, Easy, Like He's Sitting Up In Bed. But He Is Not Comfortable Or Natural Here--- Every Muscle In His Arm Stands Out. It Is A Stupid Thing For Me To Think When I Am One Hundred Feet Off The Ground.

It Is A Gift. You Cannot Earn It, Or It Ceases To Be A Gift.

It Was Him Or Me. I Chose Me. But I Feel Dead Too.

She Tries To Turn Too Soon, And The Ladder Smacks Into Fernando's Shoulder. "oh! Sorry, Nando." The Jolt Knocks His Glasses Askew. He Smiles At Christina And Takes The Glasses Off, Shoving Them Into His Pocket. "nando?" I Say To Him. "i Thought The Erudite Didn't Like Nicknames?" "when A Pretty Girl Calls You By A Nickname," He Says, "it Is Only Logical To Respond To It.

You Don’t Believe Things Because They Make Your Life Better, You Believe Them Because They’re True.

Somewhere Inside Me Is A Merciful, Forgiving Person. Somewhere There Is A Girl Who Tries To Understand What People Are Going Through, Who Accepts That People Do Evil Things And That Desperation Leads Them To Darker Places Than They Ever Imagined, I Swear She Exists, And She Hurts For The Repentant Boy I See In Front Of Me. But If I Saw Her, I Wouldn't Recognize Her.

Feel Tobias Brushing My Hair Back Before The First Simulation. I Hear Him Telling Me To Be Brave. I Hear My Mother Telling Me To Be Brave(...) I Am Brave.

What Do I Believe? I Do Not Know; I Do Not Know; I Do Not Know.

Not Writing Is As Important As Writing - Go Out Into The World And Remember How Interesting It, And The People In It, Are.

Nature Is Neutral. Nature Doesn't Care How Much Money A Person Makes.

From Your Results I Have Determined That You Are One Of The Strongest Divergent, Which I Say Not To Compliment You But To Explain My Purpose. If I Am To Develop A Simulation That Cannot Be Thwarted By The Divergent Mind, I Must Study The Strongest Divergent Mind In Order To Shore Up All Weaknesses In The Technology.

Compliments You

A Breeze Blows Through The Alley, Pushing Me To One Side, And I Think Of Scaling The Ferris Wheel With Tobias. He Kept Me Steady Then. There Is No One Left To Keep Me Steady Now.

My Father Has A Way Of Persuading People Without Charm That Has Always Confused Me. He States His Opinions As If They’re Facts, And Somehow His Complete Lack Of Doubt Makes You Believe Him. That Quality Frightens Me Now, Because I Know What He Told Me: That I Was Broken, That I Was Worthless, That I Was Nothing. How Many Of Those Things Did He Make Me Believe?

Yes," She Says, Her Eyes Bright With Tears. "my Dear Child, You've Done So Well.

You've Never Had A Hamburger Before?" Asks Christine, Her Eyes Wide. "no," I Say. "is That What It's Called?" "stiffs Eat Plain Food," Four Says, Nodding At Christina. "why?" She Asks. I Shrug. "extravagance Is Considered Self-indulgent And Unnecessary." She Smirks. "no Wonder You Left." "yeah," I Say,rolling My Eyes. "it Was Just Because Of The Food." The Corner Of Four's Mouth Twitches.

He Touches My Face, Covering My Cheeks With His Hands, Sliding His Fingertips Down My Neck, Fitting His Fingers To The Slight Curve Of My Hips. I Can't Stop.

Can I Ask Why You’re Throwing Knives At Cheese?’ ‘caleb Came By To Discuss Something,’ Tobias Says, Leaning His Head Against The Wall As He Looks At Me. ‘and Knife-throwing Just Came Up Somehow.’ ‘as It So Often Does,’ I Say, A Small Smile Inching Across My Face.

But I Think That No Matter How Smart, People Usually See What They're Already Looking For, That's All.

Then Drew Shuffles Into The Dining Hall. I Drop My Toast, And My Mouth Drifts Open. Calling Him “bruised” Would Be An Understatement. His Face Is Swollen And Purple. He Has A Split Lip And A Cut Running Through His Eyebrow. He Keeps His Eyes Down On The Way To His Table, Not Even Lifting Them To Look At Me. I Glance Across The Room At Four. He Wears The Satisfied Smile I Wish I Had On.

I Know That I'll Be Writing For Young Adults For A Long Time. Mostly Because I Just Love The Readers And The Teachers And Librarians That I Interact With.

That Night We Push Our Cots Just A Little Closer Together, And Look Into Each Other's Eyes In The Moments Before We Fall Asleep. When He Finally Drifts Off, Our Fingers Are Twisted Together In The Space Between The Beds. I Smile A Little, And Let Myself Go.

Abnegation Produces Deeply Serious People. People Who Automatically See Things Like Need,” He Says. “i’ve Noticed That When People Switch To Dauntless, It Creates Some Of The Same Types. Erudite Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Turn Cruel And Brutal. Candor Who Switch To Dauntless Tend To Become Boisterous, Fight-picking Adrenaline Junkies. And Abnegation Who Switch To Dauntless Become . . . I Don’t Know, Soldiers, I Guess. Revolutionaries.

Dead People Can Be Our Heroes Because They Can't Disappoint Us Later; They Only Improve Over Time, As We Forget More And More About Them.

Sometimes,” He Says, Sliding His Arm Across My Shoulders, “people Just Want To Be Happy, Even If It’s Not Real.

Don't Pretend", I Say Breathily. "you Know I'm Not. I'm Not Ugly, But I Am Certainly Not Pretty." "fine. You're Not Pretty. So?" He Kisses My Cheek. "i Like How You Look. You're Deadly Smart. You're Brave.

Why Are You Constantly Escorting Me Places?” I Say. “isn’t There A Depraved Activity You’re Supposed To Be Taking Part In? Kicking Puppies Or Spying On Girls While They Change, Or Something?

But Now I’m Wondering If I Need It Anymore, If We Ever Really Need These Words, “dauntless,” “erudite,” “divergent,” “allegiant,” Or If We Can Just Be Friends Or Lovers Or Siblings, Defined Instead By The Choices We Make And The Love And Loyalty That Binds Us.

Change, Like Healing, Takes Time.

The Cruelty Of Fate Is That I Must Travel With The People I Hate When The People I Love Are Dead Behind Me.

Okay. Then...i Can Talk. Ask Me Something." "okay." He Laughs Shakily In My Ear. "why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?" I Cringe And Say, "well, I...i Barely Know You. I Barely Know You And I'm Crammed Up Against You In A Box, Four, What Do You Think?"... "maybe You Were Cut Out For Candor," He Says, "because You're A Terrible Liar.

I Feel Empty, Not Because Of Sadness, But Because Of Relief, All The Tension Flowing Out Of Me.

I Love You" I Say. "i Love You, Too" He Says. "i'll See You Soon.

What Makes You Different, Makes You Dangerous.

He Doesn’t Scowl, But His Mouth Is So Tense That I Know He’s Angry With Me. 'don’t Be An Idiot,' He Says. 'an Idiot?' Is He Talking About The Blanket? 'you Were Lying.

I Feel The Monster Of Grief Again, Writhing In The Empty Space Where My Heart And Stomach Used To Be. I Gasp, Pressing Both Palms To My Chest. Now The Monstrous Thing Has Its Claws Around My Throat, Squeezing My Airway. I Twist And Put My Head Between My Knees, Breathing Until The Strangled Feeling Leaves Me.

Courageous? Courageous Would Have Been Admitting Weakness And Leaving Dauntless, No Matter What Shame Accompanied It. Pride Is What Killed Al, And It Is The Flaw In Every Dauntless Heart. It Is In Mine.

She'll Have To Get Over It, Then. Are You Going To Let Her Drop Out Of Dauntless For A Stupid Reason Like Not Being Able To Walk?" Zeke Is Quiet For A Few Seconds. His Eyes Shift Over My Face, And He Squints, As If Weighing And Measuring Me. Then He Turns And Bends And Wraps His Arms Around Me. It's Been So Long Since Someone Hugged Me That I Stiffen. Then I Relax, And Let The Gesture Force Warmth Over My Body.

Do The Elevators Work?" I Ask Uriah, As Quietly As I Can. "sure They Do." Says Zeke, Rolling His Eyes, "you Think I'm Stupid Enough Not To Come Here Early And Turn On The Emergency Generator?" "yeah," Says Uriah. "i Kinda Do.

Someone Shouts, "enough!" And I Think Too Much And Nothing At All.

Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And Its Been Played On Me Twice.

Caleb Runs Up To Me And Folds Me Carefully In His Arms. I Breathe A Sigh Of Relief. I Thought I Had Gotten To The Point Where I Didn’t Need My Brother Anymore, But I Don’t Think Such A Point Actually Exists.

Can You Be A Girl For A Few Seconds?" "i'm Always A Girl" I Frown. "you Know What I Mean. Like A Silly, Annoying Girl" I Twirl My Hair Around My Finger. "kay.

Not Like Tobias, Who Is Almost Shy When He Smiles, Like He Is Surprised You Bothered To Look At Him In The First Place.

Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion.

I Know That I Am Birdlike, Made Narrow And Small As If For Taking Flight, Built Straight-waisted And Fragile. But When He Touches Me Like He Can't Bear To Take His Hand Away, I Don't Wish I Was Any Different.

All I Want To Say Is That When You Stop Being Delusional And Start Feeling Desperate Because You're Too Inept To Figure This Out On Your Own, You Know Who To Come To.

I Watch Her Blond Head Until It Disappears Around The Bend, And I Feel Bare, Like There's Nothing Left To Protect Me Against Pain. Her Absence Stings Worst Of All.

Sometimes I See Him As Just Another Person, And Sometimes I Feel The Sight Of Him In My Gut, Like A Deep Ache.

Tris," Said Tobias. "i Love You

I Keep Finding Myself Stifled By The Company Of Others And Then Crippled By Loneliness When I Leave Them. I Am Terrified And I Don't Even Know Of What, Because I Have Lost Everything Already.

Lost Everything

Dauntless,' He Says. 'i Was Born For Abnegation. I Was Planning On Leaving Dauntless, And Becoming Factionless. But Then I Met Her, And...i Felt Like Maybe I Could Make Something More Of My Decision.' Her. For A Moment, It's Like I'm Looking At A Different Person, Sitting In Tobias's Skin, One Whose Life Is Not As Simple As I Thought. He Wanted To Leave Dauntless, But He Stayed Because Of Me. He Never Told Me That.

It Doesn't Prove Anything Except That You're Bullying Us. Which, As I Recall, Is A Sign Of Cowardice.

If You Are Really One Of Us, It Won't Matter To You That You Might Fail. And If It Does, You Are A Coward.

Everyone Has To Blame Something For The Way The World Is.

She Wanted Us To Have More Than Five Choices. Now We Have None.

Soon I Will Honor My Parents By Dying As They Died. And If All They Believed About Death Was True, Soon I Will Join Them In Whatever Comes Next.

You're More Than Dauntless," He Says In A Low Voice. "but If You Want To Be Just Like Them, Hurling Yourself Into Ridiculous Situations For No Reason And Retaliating Against Your Enemies Without Any Regard For What's Ethical, Go Right Ahead. I Thought You Were Better Than That, But Maybe I Was Wrong.

It's Strange How Time Can Make A Place Shrink, Make Its Strangeness Ordinary.

Evil Depends On Where You're Standing.

If The Dauntless Knew About This, Everyone Would Be Getting In Line To Learn How To Drive It,” He Says. “including Me.” “no, They Would Be Strapping Themselves To The Wings.” Christina Pokes His Arm. “don’t You Know Your Own Faction?

I Look Older. Maybe It's The Short Hair Or Maybe It's Just That I Wear All That Has Happened Like A Mask. Either Way, I Always Thought I Would Be Happy When I Stopped Looking Like A Child. But All I Feel Is A Lump In My Throat. I Am No Longer The Daughter My Parents Knew. They Will Never Know Me As I Am Now.

People, Even Genetically Damaged People, Make Choices. That’s What Matters.’

Do You Know Him Well?" I Ask.i Am Too Curious; I Always Have Been. "everyone Knows Four," She Says. "we Were Initiates Together.i Was Bad At Fighting,so He Taught Me Every Night After Everyone Was Asleep." She Scratches The Back Of Her Neck, Her Expression Suddenly Serious. "nice Of Him." She Gets Up And Stands Behind The Members Sitting In The Doorway. In A Second, Her Serious Expression Is Gone,but I Still Feel Rattled By What She Said, Half Confused By The Idea Of Four Being "nice" And Half Wanting To Punch Her For No Apparent Reason.

The Official Strategy Is Defensive Pessimism, Always.

You're Not A Coward Just Because You Don't Want To Hurt People.

Really? I Thought The Transfers Will Go Through Four’s Landscape,” Says Uriah. “like He Would Let Anyone Do That,” She Says, Snorting. Something Inside Me Gets Warm And Soft. He Let Me Go Through It.

Fighting For Survival In A Shattered World... The Truth Is Her Only Hope.

I Never Thought I Would Need Bravery In The Small Moments Of My Life. I Do.

Living Without Virtues Is To Live Divorced From Society, Seperated From The Most Important Thing In Life, Community.

We Are Not The Same. But We Are, Somehow, One.

Guilt [is] A Tool, Rather Than A Weapon Against The Self.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up

I Know Some Things--i Know That I'm Not Alone, That I Have Friends, That I'm In Love. I Know That I Don't Want To Die, And For Me That's Something--more Than I Could Have Said A Few Weeks Ago.

This Is Bizarre," I Say. "i Think It's Beautiful," He Says. I Give Him A Look. "what?" He Laughs A Little. "they Each Have An Equal Role In Government; They Each Feel Equally Responsible. And It Makes Them Care; It Makes Them Kind. I Think That's Beautiful.

I Have Done Bad Things. I Can't Take Them Back, And They Are Part Of Who I Am. Most Of The Time, They Seem Like The Only Thing I Am.

The Candor Sing The Praises Of The Truth, But They Never Tell You How Much It Costs.

I'm Sick Of Doing Bad Things And Liking It And Then Wondering What's Wrong With Me. I Want It To Be Over. I Want To Start Again.

We Believe In Ordinary Acts Of Bravery, In The Courage That Drives One Person To Stand Up For Another.

There Are No Safe Rooms, No Safe Truths, No Safe Secrets To Tell.

I Imagine The Wave Of Water Colliding With The Rock And Spilling Over The Tile Floor, Collecting Around My Shoes. Doing A Little At Once Can Fix Something, Eventually, But I Feel Like When You Believe That Something Is Truly A Problem, You Throw Everything You Have At It, Because You Just Can’t Help Yourself.

Because There Might Come A Day When There Is No Flashlight, There Is No Gun, There Is No Guiding Hand. And I Want To Be Ready For It." (divergent Pg.138)

Every Tattoo I Got With Them Is A Mark Of Their Friendship, And Almost Every Time I Have Laughed In This Dark Place Was Because Of Them. I Don’t Want To Lose Them. But I Feel Like I Have Already.

In Some Parts Of The Ancient World, The Hawk Symbolized The Sun. Back When I Got This, I Figured If I Always Had The Sun On Me, I Wouldn't Be Afraid Of The Dark

Beatrice," She Says. "beatrice, We Have To Run." She Pulls My Arm Across Her Shoulders And Hauls Me To My Feet. She Is Dressed Like My Mother And She Looks Like My Mother, But She Is Holding A Gun, And The Determined Look In Her Eyes Is Unfamiliar To Me.

The Floor Is Solid Metal In Some Places And Metal Grating In Others. Everything Smells Like Rotting Garbage And Fire. "don't Say I Never Took You Anywhere Nice," Peter Says. "wouldn't Dream Of It," I Say.

I Like To Think I'm Helping Them By Hating Them. I'm Reminding Them That They Aren't God's Gift To Humankind.

I Reach Out And Take His Hand. His Fingers Slide Between Mine. I Can't Breathe.

It's Not Cruelty, Maybe, But A Desire To Understand That Motivates Them.

Before She Got Here Everything Had Stalled Inside Me, And Every Morning I Was Just Moving Toward Nighttime.

I Hear My Heartbeat. I Have Been Looking At Him Too Long, But Then, He Has Been Looking Back, And I Feel Like We Are Both Trying To Say Something The Other Can't Hear, Though I Could Be Imagining It. Too Long - And Now Even Longer, My Heart Even Louder, His Tranquil Eyes Swallowing Me Whole.

His Eyes Search The Crowd Until They Find My Face. My Heartbeat Lives In My Throat; Lives In My Cheeks. "i Still Don't Understand," He Says Softly, "how She Knew That It Would Work.

Don’t Worry About Me Handling The Pain," I Say. "i’ve Had A Lot Of Practice.

Did You Ever Meet Someone Named Caleb?" I Say. 'caleb," Fernando Says. "yes, There Was A Caleb In My Initiate Class. Brilliant, But He Was... What's The Colloquial Term For It? A Suck-up." He Smirks.

Be Careful, Though." "aren't I Always?" "no, I Think The Word For How You Usually Are Is 'reckless.

You Are Holding A Loaded Gun, You Idiot. Act Like It.

You Nearly Died Today,' He Says. 'i Almost Shot You. Why Didn't You Shoot Me, Tris?' 'i Couldn't Do That,' I Say. 'it Would Have Been Like Shooting Myself.' He Looks Pained And Leans Closer To Me, So His Lips Brush Mine When He Speaks.

We've All Started To Put Down The Virtues Of The Other Factions In The Process Of Bolstering Our Own. I Don't Want To Do That. I Want To Be Brave, And Selfless, And Smart, And Kind, And Honest." He Clears His Throat. "i Continually Struggle With Kindness.

I Pause A Second. He Doesn't Look At Me The Way Will, Christina, And Al Sometimes Do - Like I Am Too Small And Too Weak To Be Of Any Use, And They Pity Me For It.

You Don’t Always Have To Smack People In The Face With How Strong You Are

I Settle Into Their Pace. The Uniform Pounding Of Feet In My Ears And The Homogeneity Of The People Around Me Makes Me Believe That I Could Choose This. I Could Be Subsumed Into Abnegation’s Hive Mind, Projecting Always Outward.

Take A Person’s Memories, And You Change Who They Are.

He Slides His Hand Over My Cheek, One Finger Anchored Behind My Ear. Then He Tilts His Head Down And Kisses Me, Sending A Warm Ache Through My Body. I Wrap My Hands Around His Arm, Holding Him There As Long As I Can. When He Touches Me, The Hollowed-out Feeling In My Chest And Stomach Is Not As Noticeable.

I Can't Force You. I Can't Make You Want To Survive This." He Pulls Me Against Him And Runs His Hand Over My Hair, Tucking It Behind My Ear. His Fingers Trail Down My Neck And Over My Shoulder, And He Says, "but You Will Do It. It Doesn't Matter If You Believe You Can Or Not. You Will, Because That's Who You Are.

Those Who Blamed Aggression Formed Amity.’… ‘those Who Blamed Ignorance Became The Erudite.’… ‘those Who Blamed Duplicity Created Candor.’… ‘those Who Blamed Selfishness Made Abnegation.’… ‘and Those Who Blamed Cowardice Were The Dauntless.

I Suppose A Fire That Burns That Bright Is Not Meant To Last.

Four!" I Call Out. Why Am I Calling A Number? Oh Yes. Because That's His Name. — Tris.

Who Is He When He Isn't Dauntless, Isn't An Instructor, Isn't Four, Isn't Anything In Particular? Whoever He Is, I Like Him. It's Easier To Admit That To Myself Now, In The Dark, After All That Just Happened. He Is Not Sweet Or Gentle Or Particularly Kind. But He Is Smart And Brave, And Even Though He Saved Me, He Treated Me Like I Was Strong. That Is All I Need To Know.

Uriah Drops His Tray Next To Me. It Is Loaded With Beef Stew And Chocolate Cake. I Stare At The Cake Pile. “there Was Cake?” I Say, Looking At My Own Plate, Which Is More Sensibly Stocked Than Uriah’s. “yeah, Someone Just Brought It Out. Found A Couple Boxes Of The Mix In The Back And Baked It,” He Says. “you Can Have A Few Bites Of Mine.” “a Few Bites? So You’re Planning On Eating That Mountain Of Cake By Yourself?” “yes.” He Looks Confused. “why?” “never Mind.

Okay, Okay.” I Set My Hand On Top Of His And Guide It To My Chest, So It’s Right Over My Heart. “feel My Heartbeat. Can You Feel It?” “yes.” “feel How Steady It Is?” “it’s Fast.” “yes, Well, That Has Nothing To Do With The Box.” I Wince As Soon As I’m Done Speaking. I Just Admitted To Something. Hopefully He Doesn’t Realize That.

I Have Something To Tell You," He Says. I Run My Fingers Along The Tendons In His Hand And Look Back At Him. "i Might Be In Love With You." He Smiles A Little. "i’m Waiting Until I’m Sure To Tell You, Though.

I Came Here So That No One Else Would Die. I Came Here To Protect As Many People As I Could. And I Care More About Tobias's Safety Than Anyone Else's. So Why Am I Here, If He's Here? What's The Point?

You Need To Be Passionate About The Creative Work That You're Doing, But You Need To Be Kind Of Emotionally Separated From How People React To It Or How It Does. Those Things Should Be Secondary, And Primary Should Be Your Love Of The Creative Act.

I Feel His Heartbeat Against My Cheek,as Fast As My Own. "are You Afraid Of Me, Too, Tobias?" "terrified," He Replies With A Smile.

For Me, It Feels Like Driving From Truth Into A Lie, From Adulthood To Childhoold. I Watch The Land Of Pavement And Glass And Metal Turn Into An Empty Field. The Snow Is Falling Softly Now, And I Can Faintly See The City's Skyline Up Ahead, The Buildings Just A Shade Darker Than The Clouds.

His Hands Skim My Bare Arms. “just Bounce A Little When You Walk,” He Says, Kissing My Forehead, “and Pretend You’re Afraid Of Their Guns” —another Kiss Between My Eyebrows— “and Act Like The Shrinking Violet You Could Never Be ”—a Kiss On My Cheek— “and You’ll Be Fine.

She Taught Me All About Real Sacrifice. That It Should Be Done From Love... That It Should Be Done From Necessity, Not Without Exhausting All Other Options. That It Should Be Done For People Who Need Your Strength Because They Don't Have Enough Of Their Own.

I Feel The Urge, Familiar Now, To Wrench Myself From My Body And Speak Directly Into Her Mind. It Is The Same Urge, I Realize, That Makes Me Want To Kiss Her Every Time I See Her, Because Even A Sliver Of Distance Between Us Is Infuriating. Our Fingers, Loosely Woven A Moment Ago, Now Clutch Together, Her Palm Tacky With Moisture, Mine Rough In Places Where I Have Grabbed Too Many Handles On Too Many Moving Trains. Now She Looks Pale And Small, But Her Eyes Make Me Think Of Wide-open Skies That I Have Never Actually Seen, Only Dreamed Of.

Yesterday He Told Me He Thought I Would Have To Pretend To Be Weak, But He Was Wrong. I Am Weak Already. I Brace Myself Against The Wall And Press My Forehead To My Hands. It’s Difficult To Take Deep Breaths, So I Take Short, Shallow Ones. I Can’t Let This Happen. They Attacked Me To Make Me Feel Weak. I Can Pretend They Succeeded To Protect Myself, But I Can’t Let It Become True.

I Also Don't Believe That Whatever Come After Life Depends On My Correctly Reciting A List Of My Transgressions-that Sounds Too Much Like An Erudite Afterlife To Me, All Accuracy And No Feeling.

Tris," Tobias Says, Crouching Next To Me. His Face Is Pale, Almost Yellow. There Is Too Much I Want To Say. The First Thing That Comes Out Is, "beatrice." He Laughs Weakly. "beatrice," He Amends, And Touches His Lips To Mine. I Curl My Fingers Into His Shirt.

All That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.

Then I Realize What It Is. It's Him. Something About Him Makes Me Feel Like I Am About To Fall. Or Turn To Liquid. Or Burst Into Flames.

People, I Have Discovered, Are Layers And Layers Of Secrets. You Believe You Know Them, That You Understand Them, But Their Motives Are Always Hidden From You, Buried In Their Own Hearts. You Will Never Know Them, But Sometimes You Decide To Trust Them.

I Am Proud. It Will Get Me Into Trouble Someday, But Today It Makes Me Brave

I'm Surprised You Know That," I Say Quietly, " Since You Left Halfway Through My One And Only Fight." "it Wasn't Something I Wanted To Watch." He Says. What's That Supposed To Mean?

Do I Look Like I’ve Been Crying?’ I Say. ‘hmm.’ He Leans In Close, Narrowing His Eyes Like He’s Inspecting My Face. A Smile Tugs At The Corner Of His Mouth. Even Closer, So We Would Be Breathng The Same Air- If I Could Remember To Breathe. ‘no, Tris,’ He Says. A More Serious Look Replaces His Smile As He Adds, ‘you Look Tough As Nails.

I Hear Footsteps And Four's Hands Wrap Around My Wrists. I Let Him Pry My Hands From My Eyes. He Encloses One Of My Hands Perfectly Between Two Of His. The Warmth Of His Skin Overwhelms The Ache In My Fingers From Holding The Bars. "you All Right?" He Asks, Pressing Our Hands Together. "yeah." He Starts To Laugh.

He Moves His Thumb In A Slow Circle Over The Back Of My Hand. It Is Meant To Comfort Me, But It Frustrates Me Instead. I Need To Talk To Him. I Need To Look At Him.

I Point At A Window To My Left, And It Explodes. Particles Of Glass Rain Over Us. ‘you’ll Have To Do Better Than That,' I Say.

Though He Does Not Touch Me, He Steadies Me.

The First Step To Loving Someone Else Is To Recognize The Evil In Ourselves, So We Can Forgive Them.

Peace Is Restrained; This Is Free.

Noise And Activity Are The Refuges Of The Bereaved And The Guilty.

Part Of Me Wonders If This Is A Suicide Mission Disguised As A Game.

You Think My First Instinct Is To Protect You. Because You're Small, Or A Girl, Or A Stiff. But You're Wrong." He Leans His Face Close To Mine And Wraps His Fingers Around My Chin. His Hand Smells Like Metal. When Was The Last Time He Held A Gun, Or A Knife? My Skin Tingles At The Point Of Contact, Like He's Transmitting Electricity Through His Skin. "my First Instinct Is To Push You Until You Break, Just To See How Hard I Have To Press." He Says, His Fingers Squeezing At The Word Break. My Body Tenses At The Edge In His Voice, So I Am Coiled As Tight As A Spring, And I Forget To Breathe.

Let The Guilt Teach You How To Behave Next Time.

What Is Wrong With You?' I Shake My Head. 'pull It Together.' And That's What It Feels Like: Pulling The Different Parts Of Me Up And In Like A Shoelace. I Feel Suffocated, But At Least I Feel Strong.

I Am Too Strong To Break So Easily, And I Become Better, Sharper, Every Time I Touch Him.

Aren’t You Going To Ask Me If I’m All Right?” I Say. “no, I’m Pretty Sure You’re Not All Right.” He Shakes His Head. “i’m Going To Ask You Not To Make Any Decisions Until We’ve Talked About It.

The Truth Has A Way Of Changing People's Plans.

I Choose Him Over And Over Again, And He Chooses Me.

I Think They're Going To Force Us To Eat Lots Of Cake And Then Take An Unreasonably Long Nap.

Pride Is What Killed Al, And It Is The Flaw In Every Dauntless Heart. It Is In Mine.

I Cross My Arms. "it Was A Two Minute Conversation." "i Don't Think A Smaller Time Frame Makes It Less Unwise." He Furrows His Eyebrows And Touches The Corner Of My Bruised Eye With His Fingertips. My Head Jerks Back, But He Doesn't Take His Hand Away. Instead He Sighs. "you Know, If You Could Just Learn To Attack First, You Might Do Better." "attack First?" I Say. "how Will That Help?" "you're Fast. If You Can Get A Few Good Hits In Before They Know What's Going On, You Could Win." He Shrugs, And His Hand Falls.

I Don't Really Control The Story. I Just Let It Go Where It Wants To Go. I Have No Idea What's Going To Happen In The End Or Who's Going To Live, So It's Kind Of Like Me Saying, "i Don't Know, Guys! Just Wait." That's What I'm Doing!

I Love Tris The Divergent, Who Makes Decisions Apart From Faction Loyalty, Who Isn’t Some Faction Archetype. But The Tris Who’s Trying As Hard As She Can To Destroy Herself … I Can’t Love Her.

I Know That Change Is Difficult, And Comes Slowly, And That It Is The Work Of Many Days Strung Together In A Long Line Until The Origin Of Them Is Forgotten.

Even Though I Am Still Injured, I Had To Fight Again Today.luckily This Time,i Was Paired Against Myra,who Couldn't Throw A Good Punch If Someone Was Controlling Her Arm For Her.

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