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I Love You," I Say. I Said That Once, Before I Went To Erudite Headquarters, But He Was Asleep Then. I Don't Know Why I Didn't Say It When He Could Hear It. Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion. Or Afraid That I Did Not Know What It Was To Love Someone. But Now I Think The Scary Thing Was Not Saying It Before It Was Too Late. Not Saying It Before It Was Almost Too Late For Me.

-Veronica Roth

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I Love You," I

Veronica Roth

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I Love You," I Say. I Said That Once, Before I Went To Erudite Headquarters, But He Was Asleep Then. I Don't Know Why I Didn't Say It When He Could Hear It. Maybe I Was Afraid To Trust Him With Something So Personal As My Devotion. Or Afraid That I Did Not Know What It Was To Love Someone. But Now I Think The Scary Thing Was Not Saying It Before It Was Too Late. Not Saying It Before It Was Almost Too Late For Me.

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I Am Wearing A Gray Shirt, Blue Jeans, Black Shoes--new Clothes, But Beneath Them, My Dauntless Tattoos. It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices. Especially These.

I Was Still Afraid Of Him, I Knew, But In A Different Way - I Was No Longer A Child, Afraid Of The Threat My Terrifying Father Posed To My Safety. I Was A Man, Afraid Of The Threat He Posed To My Character, To My Future, To My Identity.

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I Want To Cry Because Something Terrible Happened, And I Saw It, And I Could Not See A Way To Mend It.

I Suppose That Now Would Be The Time To Ask For Forgiveness For All The Things I've Done, But I'm Sure My List Would Never Be Complete. I Also Don't Believe That Whatever Comes After Life Depends On My Correctly Reciting A List Of My Transgressions...i Don't Believe That What Comes After Depends On Anything I Do At All.

This Is How We Came By Our Factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation And Dauntless." Max Smiles. "in Them We Find Administrators And Teachers And Counselors And Leaders And Protectors. In Them We Find Our Sense Of Belonging, Our Sense Of Community, Our Very Lives.

Shh,” I Say. “arms Around Me.” Obediently, He Slips Both Arms Around My Waist. I Smile At The Wall. I Am Not Enjoying This. I Am Not, Not Even A Little Bit, No.

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For Someone So Small, You're Heavy, Stiff," He Mutters.

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Learning How To Think In The Midst Of Fear Is A Lesson That Everyone Needs To Learn.

Four Sits Down On The Edge Of The Carousel, Leaning Against A Plastic Horse's Foot. His Eyes Lift To The Sky, Where There Are No Stars, Only A Round Moon Peking Through A Thin Layer Of Clouds. The Muscles In His Arms Are Relaxed; His Hand Rests On The Back Of His Neck. He Looks Almost Comfortable, Holding That Gun To His Shoulder. I Close My Eyes Briefly. Why Does He Distract Me So Easily? I Need To Focus.

I'll Say It One Last Time: Be Brave.

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My Name Will Be Edith Proir," She Says. "and There Is Much I Am Happy To Forget.

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But When I Do Feel All The Strength Go Out Of Me, And I Fall To My Knees Beside The Table And I Think I Cry, Then, Or At Least I Want To, And Everything Inside Me Screams For Just One More Kiss, One More Word, One More Glance, One More.

I Think They're Going To Force Us To Eat Lots Of Cake And Then Take An Unreasonably Long Nap.

Human Reason Can Excuse Any Evil.

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He Seems Designed Specifically For Speed And Deadly Accuracy. But Not Strength, Not Particularly-he Is Smart, But Not Strong. Only Strong Enough To Carry Me.

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Falling In Love

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Let The Guilt Teach You How To Behave Next Time.

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Beatrice. We Should Think Of Our Family. But. But We Must Also Think Of Ourselves.

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I Pause A Second. He Doesn't Look At Me The Way Will, Christina, And Al Sometimes Do - Like I Am Too Small And Too Weak To Be Of Any Use, And They Pity Me For It.

If I Don't Survive," I Say, "tell Tobias I Didn't Want To Leave Him.

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Sometimes Pain Is For The Greater Good.

Nothing Else Is Alright. But We Are. -tobias

I Feel Myself Acting Like A Lunatic, But I Can't Stop. It Would Be Like Refusing To Breathe.

All I Want Is To Become Someone New. In This Case, Tobias Johnson, Son Of Evelyn Johnson. Tobias Johnson May Have Lived A Dull And Empty Life, But He Is At Least A Whole Person, Not This Fragment Of A Person That I Am, Too Damaged By Pain To Become Anything Useful.

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From Your Results I Have Determined That You Are One Of The Strongest Divergent, Which I Say Not To Compliment You But To Explain My Purpose. If I Am To Develop A Simulation That Cannot Be Thwarted By The Divergent Mind, I Must Study The Strongest Divergent Mind In Order To Shore Up All Weaknesses In The Technology.

Compliments You

Those Who Blamed Aggression Formed Amity.’… ‘those Who Blamed Ignorance Became The Erudite.’… ‘those Who Blamed Duplicity Created Candor.’… ‘those Who Blamed Selfishness Made Abnegation.’… ‘and Those Who Blamed Cowardice Were The Dauntless.

I Would Be Shocked By The Lack Of Security If We Were Not At Amity Headquarters. They Often Straddle The Line Between Trust And Stupidity.

Take A Person’s Memories, And You Change Who They Are.

Cruelty Does Not Make A Person Dishonest, The Same Way Bravery Does Not Make A Person Kind.

I Am His, And He Is Mine, And It Has Been That Way All Along.

People, Even Genetically Damaged People, Make Choices. That’s What Matters.’

I Think He Came To Die With Me," I Say. I Clamp My Hand Over My Mouth To Stifle A Sob. If I Can Keep Breathing, I Can Stop Crying. I Didn't Need Or Want Him To Die With Me. I Wanted To Keep Him Safe. What An Idiot, I Think, But My Heart Isn't In It. "that's Ridiculous," He Says. "that Doesn't Make Any Sense. He's Eighteen; He'll Find Another Girlfriend Once You're Dead. And He's Stupid If He Doesn't Know That." Tears Run Down My Cheeks, Hot At First And Then Cold. I Close My Eyes. "if You Think That's What It's About..." I Swallow Another Sob. "...you're The Stupid One.

His Hands Skim My Bare Arms. “just Bounce A Little When You Walk,” He Says, Kissing My Forehead, “and Pretend You’re Afraid Of Their Guns” —another Kiss Between My Eyebrows— “and Act Like The Shrinking Violet You Could Never Be ”—a Kiss On My Cheek— “and You’ll Be Fine.

Sometimes All I Want Is To Be A Few Inches Taller So The World Does Not Look Like A Dense Collection Of Torsos.

Maybe Forgiveness Is Just The Continual Pushing Aside Of Bitter Memories, Until Time Dulls The Hurt And Anger, And The Wrong Is Forgotten.

It Is Impossible To Erase My Choices.

Hearing Him Talk About His Mother, About His Intact Family, Makes My Chest Hurt For A Second, Like Someone Pierced It With A Needle.

Missing Someone

Soon I Will Honor My Parents By Dying As They Died. And If All They Believed About Death Was True, Soon I Will Join Them In Whatever Comes Next.

Do The Elevators Work?" I Ask Uriah, As Quietly As I Can. "sure They Do." Says Zeke, Rolling His Eyes, "you Think I'm Stupid Enough Not To Come Here Early And Turn On The Emergency Generator?" "yeah," Says Uriah. "i Kinda Do.

In 'insurgent' We Realise How Large The World Really Is

I've Done Without Doing Things, Like Sleeping And Eating, But I Need To Write.

I Feel The Monster Of Grief Again, Writhing In The Empty Space Where My Heart And Stomach Used To Be. I Gasp, Pressing Both Palms To My Chest. Now The Monstrous Thing Has Its Claws Around My Throat, Squeezing My Airway. I Twist And Put My Head Between My Knees, Breathing Until The Strangled Feeling Leaves Me.

It's Time To Be With My Brother Now

I Settle Into Their Pace. The Uniform Pounding Of Feet In My Ears And The Homogeneity Of The People Around Me Makes Me Believe That I Could Choose This. I Could Be Subsumed Into Abnegation’s Hive Mind, Projecting Always Outward.

I Feel Acutely Aware Of How Young I Am. In A Way That Is Good. It's Productive. It Makes Me Realise That I Should Be Growing As A Writer And A Person.

Sometimes It Isn't Fighting That's Brave, Its Facing The Death You Know Is Coming.

We Believe In Bravery. We Believe In Taking Action. We Believe In Freedom From Fear And In Acquiring The Skills To Force The Bad Out Of Our World So That The Good Can Prosper And Thrive. If You Also Believe In Those Things, We Welcome You.

We Share A Common Enemy, But Does That Make Us Friends?

She Sighs, Then Breaks A Piece Off The Muffin In My Hand. 'hey. There Are Plenty More Just Five Feet To Your Right.' 'then You Shouldn't Be So Concerned About Losing Some Of Yours.' She Says, Grinning. 'fair Enough.

He Pus His Lips Next To My Ear And Says, “you Look Good, Tris.

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I Imagine The Wave Of Water Colliding With The Rock And Spilling Over The Tile Floor, Collecting Around My Shoes. Doing A Little At Once Can Fix Something, Eventually, But I Feel Like When You Believe That Something Is Truly A Problem, You Throw Everything You Have At It, Because You Just Can’t Help Yourself.

Pride Is What Killed Al, And It Is The Flaw In Every Dauntless Heart. It Is In Mine.

Four!" I Call Out. Why Am I Calling A Number? Oh Yes. Because That's His Name. — Tris.

The Reason The Factions Were Evil Is Because There Was No Way Out Of Them. They Gave Us The Illusion Of Choice Without Actually Giving Us A Choice.

Thank You For Your Honesty," Niles Says. The Candor Repeat The Phrase Under Their Breath. All Around Me Are The Words "thank You For Your Honesty" At Different Volumes And Pitches, And My Anger Begins To Dissolve.

About When To Let Others Sacrifice Themselves For You, Even If Its Selfish. They Say That If The Sacrifice Is The Ultimate Way For That Person To Show You That They Love You, Let Them Do It.

Humans Can't Tolerate Emptiness For Long.

There Is A Reason You Don’t Know All The Things I Know. -marcus Eaton

Some Things Are Hard To Let Go Of.

What Do--" Tobias's Voice. Tobias! "oh My God. Oh--" "spare Me Your Blubbering, Okay? Peter Says. "she's Not Dead; She's Just Paralyzed. It'll Only Last For About A Minute. Now Get Ready To Run." I Don't Understand. How Does Peter Know? "let Me Carry Her," Tobias Says. "no. You're A Better Shot Than I Am. Take My Gun. I'll Carry Her.

I Open The Door To The Fear Landscape Room And Flip Open The Small Black Box That Was In My Back Pocket To See The Syringes Inside. This Is The Box I Have Always Used, Padded Around The Needles; It Is A Sign Of Something Sick Inside Me, Or Something Brave.

Honesty Leads To Peace.

I Have A Theory That Selflessness And Bravery Aren't All That Different. All Your Life You've Been Training To Forget Yourself, So When You're In Danger, It Becomes Your First Instinct

It Reminds Me Why I Chose Dauntless In The First Place: Not Because They Are Perfect, But Because They Are Alive. Because They Are Free.

I Did Not Know That My Entire Personality, My Entire Being, Could Be Discarded As The Byproduct Of My Anatomy. What If I Really Am Just Someone With A Large Prefrontal Cortex...and Nothing More?

Tris: Wait. So You Have No Idea What My Aptitude Is? Tori: Yes And No. My Conclusion Is That You Display Equal Aptitude For Abnegation, Dauntless And Erudite. People Who Get This Kind Of Result Are..are Called...divergent.

Just As I Have Insisted On His Worth, He Has Always Insisted On My Strength, Insisted That My Capacity Is Greater Than I Believe. And I Know, Without Being Told, That's What Love Does, When It's Right-it Makes You More Than You Were, More Than You Thought You Could Be. This Is Right.

He Holds My Face In Both Hands And Kisses Me Back. I Press Into The Distance Between Us Until It Is Gone, Crushing The Secrets We Have Kept And The Suspicions We Have Harbored-for Good, I Hope.

Why Is Your Heart Racing Tris?

The Amity Established This Place As A Safe House. No Conflict Allowed." "the Amity Will Have Trouble Enforcing That Policy," Says Marcus. "how Do You Stop Conflict Without Conflict?

In Order To Have Peace, We Must First Have Trust.

Life's Something We Already Understand. Death Is A Mystery.

If You Are Really One Of Us, It Won't Matter To You That You Might Fail. And If It Does, You Are A Coward.

It Would Be Nice If Life Worked This Way, Stripping The Dirt From Our Lives And Sending Us Back Out Into The World Clean. But Some Dirt Is Destined To Lingered.

No One's Perfect," I Whisper. "it Doesn't Work That Way. One Bad Thing Goes Away, And Another Bad Thing Replaces It." I Traded Cowardice For Cruelty; I Traded Weakness For Ferocity.

He Stares At Me, And I Don't Look Away. He Isn't A Dog, But The Same Rules Apply. Looking Away Is Submissive. Looking Him In The Eye Is A Challenge. It's My Choice.

I Am Better Off Doing As Abnegation Taught Me: Turning Away From Myself, Projecting Always Outward, And Hoping That In Whatever Is Next, I Will Be Better Than I Am Now.

We Can’t Survive Alone, But Even If We Could, We Wouldn't Want To.

I Love 'harry Potter.' I'm A Huge Nerd - I Would Dress Up If I Could.

God Tris, Are You Even Human?

My Problem Might Be That Even If I Did Go Home, I Wouldn’t Belong There, Among People Who Give Without Thinking And Care Without Trying.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up

Even Though I Am Still Injured, I Had To Fight Again Today.luckily This Time,i Was Paired Against Myra,who Couldn't Throw A Good Punch If Someone Was Controlling Her Arm For Her.

With Four? Doing A Little... Addition? Multiplication?

There Is A Difference Between Admitting And Confessing. Admitting Involves Softening, Making Excuses For Things That Cannot Be Excused; Confessing Just Names The Crimes At Its Full Severity.

Al Walks In, And I Don't Even Have To Ask Him To Help Me, He Just Walks Over And Strips Bedding With Me. I Will Have To Scrub The Frame Later. Al Carries The Stack Of Sheets To The Trash And Together We Walk Toward The Training Room. "ignore Him," Al Says. "he's An Idiot, And If You Don't Get Angry, He'll Stop Eventually.

For God's Sake, Stiff," He Says. "you Don't Have To Follow Me," I Say Staring At The Maze Of Bars Above Me. I Shove My Foot Onto The Place Where Two Bars Cross And Push Myself Up, Grabbing Another Bar In The Process. I Sway For A Second, My Heart Beating So Hard I Can't Feel Anything Else. Every Thought I Have Condenses Into That Heartbeat, Moving At The Same Rhythm. "yes, I Do," He Says.

I Respect You More Than Anyone. But Right Now I’m Wondering What Bothers You More, That I Made A Stupid Decision Or That I Didn’t Make Your Decision.

You Nearly Died Today,' He Says. 'i Almost Shot You. Why Didn't You Shoot Me, Tris?' 'i Couldn't Do That,' I Say. 'it Would Have Been Like Shooting Myself.' He Looks Pained And Leans Closer To Me, So His Lips Brush Mine When He Speaks.

Oh. I Just Assumed... That Because I Am So Absorbed By Him Everyone Must Be Too.

Fear Doesn't Shut You Down; It Wakes You Up. I've Seen It. It's Fascinating." He Releases Me But Doesn't Pull Away, His Hand Grazing My Jaw, My Neck. "sometimes I Just...want To See It Again. Want To See You Awake.

Uriah Drops His Tray Next To Me. It Is Loaded With Beef Stew And Chocolate Cake. I Stare At The Cake Pile. “there Was Cake?” I Say, Looking At My Own Plate, Which Is More Sensibly Stocked Than Uriah’s. “yeah, Someone Just Brought It Out. Found A Couple Boxes Of The Mix In The Back And Baked It,” He Says. “you Can Have A Few Bites Of Mine.” “a Few Bites? So You’re Planning On Eating That Mountain Of Cake By Yourself?” “yes.” He Looks Confused. “why?” “never Mind.

My Tris Should Look Pale And Small--she Is Pale And Small, After All--but Instead The Room Is Full Of Her.

Human Reason Can Excuse Any Evil; That Is Why It's So Important That We Don't Rely On It.

Some People Will Always Fear Change. But We Can't Indulge Them.

Though He Does Not Touch Me, He Steadies Me.

I Point At A Window To My Left, And It Explodes. Particles Of Glass Rain Over Us. ‘you’ll Have To Do Better Than That,' I Say.

"but Please, When You See An Opportunity..." He Presses His Hand To My Cheek, Cold And Strong, And Tilts My Head Up So I Have To Look At Him. His Eyes Glint. They Almost Look Predatory. "ruin Them."

If You Actually Succeed In Creating A Utopia, You've Created A World Without Conflict, In Which Everything Is Perfect. And If There's No Conflict, There Are No Stories Worth Telling - Or Reading!

Noise And Activity Are The Refuges Of The Bereaved And The Guilty.

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