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My Love Affair With (him) Had A Wonderful Element Of Romance To It, Which I Will Always Cherish. But It Was Not An Infatuation, And Here’s How I Can Tell: Because I Did Not Demand That He Become My Great Emancipator Or My Source Of All Life, Nor Did I Immediately Vanish Into That Man’s Chest Cavity Like A Twisted, Unrecognizable, Parasitical Homonculus. During Our Long Period Of Courtship, I Remained Intact Within My Own Personality, And I Allowed Myself To Meet (him) For Who He Was.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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My Love Affair With

Elizabeth Gilbert

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My Love Affair With (him) Had A Wonderful Element Of Romance To It, Which I Will Always Cherish. But It Was Not An Infatuation, And Here’s How I Can Tell: Because I Did Not Demand That He Become My Great Emancipator Or My Source Of All Life, Nor Did I Immediately Vanish Into That Man’s Chest Cavity Like A Twisted, Unrecognizable, Parasitical Homonculus. During Our Long Period Of Courtship, I Remained Intact Within My Own Personality, And I Allowed Myself To Meet (him) For Who He Was.

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This Is A Nice Metaphor, Too, About Mothers And Daughters - That When It Came Time For Me To Make My Own, I Was Making A Completely Different Garden Than The One That My Mom Has. They Don't Look Like They Came From Relatives. Hers Is A Very Productive And Pragmatic Vegetable Garden, And Mine Is A Ridiculous Overabundance Of Useless Plants. It Doesn't Feed Anybody, It Doesn't Serve Any Purpose.

When A Man Who Looks Like Yoda Hands You A Prophecy, You Have To Respond.

I Decide Every Day That I Love Creativity Enough To Accept That Fear Will Always Come With It. And I Talk To Fear All The Time, Speaking To It With Love And Respect, Saying To It: “i Know That You Are Fear, And That Your Job Is To Be Afraid. And You Do Your Job Really Well! I Will Never Ask You To Leave Me Alone Or To Be Silent, Because You Have A Right To Speak Your Own Voice, And I Know That You Will Never Leave Me Alone Or Be Silent, Anyhow. But I Need You To Understand That I Will Always Choose Creativity Over You.

You Write Fiction, You're Writing Memoir, And When You're Writing Memoir, You're Writing Fiction.

Writing Fiction

Every Word Was A Singing Sparrow, A Magic Trick, A Truffle For Me. The Words Made Me Laugh In Delight.

I've Always Thought Of My Writing As A Spiritual Practice. But I Think That Fiction Is The Most Supernatural Kind Of Writing That You Can Do - Because Of The Ways That The Real And The Unreal Weave Together To Create Something That Feels More True Than Anything.

We Gallop Through Our Lives Like Circus Performers Balancing On Two Speeding Side-by-side Horses--one Foot Is On The Horse Called "fate," The Other On The Horse Called "free Will." And The Question You Have To Ask Every Day Is--which Horse Is Which? Which Horse Do I Need To Stop Worrying About Because It's Not Under My Control, And Which Do I Need To Steer With Concentrated Effort?

Watch For The People Whose Eyes Light Up When You Talk About Your Dream. Those Are The People You Keep.

Your Father Only Has One Foot On This Earth. And Really, Really Long Legs . . .

Attraversiamo (meaning "lets Cross Over" In Italian)

Every Few Years, I Think, 'maybe Now I'm Finally Smart Enough Or Sophisticated Enough To Understand 'ulysses.'' So I Pick It Up And Try It Again. And By Page 10, As Always, I'm Like, 'what The Hell?'

The More Exquisitely And Delightfully You Can Do Nothing, The Higher Your Life's Achievement.

Bali Eat Pray Love

What Profound Reward You Must Glean From Studying The World So Closely....too Many People Turn Away From Small Wonders, I Find. There Is So Much More Potency To Be Found In Detail Than Generalities, But Most Souls Cannot Train Themselves To Sit Still For It.

The Little Fishing Boat Anchors Right Off The Shore Of Gili Meno. There Are No Docks Here On This Island. You Have To Roll Up Your Pants, Jump Off The Boat And Wade In Through The Surf On Your Own Power. There's Absolutely No Way To Do This Without Getting Soaking Wet Or Even Banged Up On The Coral, But It's Worth All The Trouble Because The Beach Here Is So Beautiful, So Special

There Is So Much About My Fate That I Cannot Control, But Other Things Do Fall Under My Jurisdiction. There Are Certain Lottery Tickets I Can Buy, Thereby Increasing My Odds Of Finding Contentment. I Can Decide How I Spend My Time, Whom I Interact With, Whom I Share My Body And Life And Money And Energy With.

I'm Afraid Many Women Do Choose The Wedding Over The Marriage. It Seems A Steep Price To Pay, But It Comes From A Place Of Deep, Sad Longing To Be Loved And To Have It Proven That You Are Of Value.

Parla Come Mangi' --it Is A Common Way To Say 'be Simple', 'don't Try To Be Rhetorical' Literaly: 'speak The Way You Eat

I'm An Enormous Product Of My Century, I'm A Product Of My Upbringing. I Was Not Aware Of The Fact That I Was Entering Marriage With The Highest Set Of Expectations That Humans Have Ever Brought To The Institution. It Was Really Good To Find That Out. It Doesn't Have To Be The Alpha And The Omega, The Beginning And The End, The Moon And The Stars - It Can Just Be The Moon. It's Enough That It Just Can Be What It Is.

Sometimes Life Is Too Hard To Be Alone, And Sometimes Life Is Too Good To Be Alone.

Learning How To Discipline Your Speech Is A Way Of Preventing Your Energies From Spilling Out Of You Through The Rupture Of Your Mouth, Exhausting You And Filling The World With Words, Words, Words Instead Of Serenity, Peace And Bliss.

David Was Catnip And Kryptonite To Me.

The Culture Of Rome Just Doesn't Match The Culture Of Yoga, Not As Far As I Can See. In Fact, I've Decided That Rome And Yoga Don't Have Anything In Common At All. Except For The Way They Both Kind Of Remind You Of The Word Toga.

As I Got Older, I Discovered That Nothing Within Me Cried Out For A Baby. My Womb Did Not Seem To Have Come Equipped With That Famously Ticking Clock. Unlike So Many Of My Friends, I Did Not Ache With Longing Whenever I Saw An Infant. (though I Did Ache With Longing, It Is True, Whenever I Saw A Good Used-book Shop)

Venice Is Beautiful, But Like A Bergman Movie Is Beautiful; You Can Admire It, But You Don't Really Want To Live In It.

I Think My Weakness As A Writer Is A Limited Imagination, And I Think My Strength Is A Talent For Reflecting The World, Or Sort Of Curating Things Out Of The World And Putting Them Into Books.

Men Go Into Marriage With Virtually No Expectations Whatsoever. Ten Years Later, The Men Are Delightfully Surprised To Find Out That It's Actually Kind Of Nice, And The Women Have Sort Of Had To Take A Nose Dive From What They Thought It Was Going To Be.

When Catherine Told Me About This (tragedy Nearby), I Could Only Say, Shocked, "dear God, That Family Needs Grace." She Replied Firmly, "that Family Needs Casseroles," And Then Proceeded To Organize The Entire Neighborhood Into Bringing That Family Dinner, In Shifts, Every Single Night, For An Entire Year. I Do Not Know If My Sister Fully Recognizes That This _is_ Grace.

If I Were Going To Have Such A Short Visit On Earth, I Had To Do Everything Possible To Experience It Now.

Sanity And Clarity Are More Important For Me And I'm Willing To Give Up A Lot Of Shimmer For It. I'm Willing To Have More Boring Friends, Who Are Sane.

I Had Long Ago Learned That When You Are The Giant, Alien Visitor To A Remote And Foreign Culture It Is Sort Of Your Job To Become An Object Of Ridicule. It’s The Least You Can Do, Really, As A Polite Guest.

I Promised Todd [willingham] That I Would Attend The Execution. ... It Was Impossible For Me To Go. I Was Incapable Of That Sort Of Travel. Sitting In A Chair That Long, Driving To Huntsville Just Wouldn't Have Happened. ... I'm Sure I Would Have Been There. It's Something I Know. I Would Not Have Denied Him That, But The Accident Kept Me From Being There. At Some Level, The Universe Was Giving Me The Excuse For Not Being There. ... The Universe Was Like, "oh, You Don't Have To Watch This." ... It Would Have Been A Horrible Thing, But I'm Sure I Would Have Gone.

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When You're Lost In Those Woods, It Sometimes Takes You A While To Realize That You Are Lost.

Stop Wearing Your Wishbone Where Your Backbone Ought To Be.

Everything Was A Miracle Until We Solved It. ... The First Man Who Ever Saw A Flying Fish Probably Thought He Was Witnessing A Miracle - And The First Man Who Ever Described A Flying Fish Was Doubtless Called A Liar.

Tis' Better To Live Your Own Life Imperfectly Than To Imitate Someone Else's Perfectly.

Maybe [artistry] Doesn't Have To Be Quite So Full Of Anguish If You Never Happened To Believe, In The First Place, That The Most Extraordinary Aspects Of Your Being Came From You. But Maybe If You Just Believed That They Were On Loan To You From Some Unimaginable Source For Some Exquisite Portion Of Your Life To Be Passed Along When You're Finished ... It Starts To Change Everything.

This Was Not My Moment To Be Seeking Romance And (as Day Follows Night) To Further Complicate My Already Knotty Life. This Was My Moment To Look For The Kind Of Healing And Peace That Can Only Come From Solitude.

When I Look At My Life And The Lives Of My Female Friends These Days - With Our Dizzying Number Of Opportunities And Talents - I Sometimes Feel As Though We Are All Mice In A Giant Experimental Maze, Scurrying Around Frantically, Trying To Find Our Way Through.

Ruin Is A Gift. Ruin Is The Road To Transformation.

The Search For God Is A Reversal Of The Normal, Mundane Worldly Order. In Search For God, You Revert From What Attracts You And Swim Toward That Which Is Difficult. You Abandon Your Comforting And Familiar Habits With The Hope (the Mere Hope!) That Something Greater Will Be Offered You In Return For What You Have Given Up.. If We Truly Knew All The Answers In Advance As To The Meaning Of Life And The Nature Of God And The Destiny Of Our Souls, Our Belief Would Not Be A Leap Of Faith And It Would Not Be A Courageous Act Of Humanity; It Would Just Be.. A Prudent Insurance Policy.

God Wants Us To Be In Joy, God Wants Us To Be Happy.

I Want God To Play In My Bloodstream The Way Sunlight Amuses Itself On The Water.

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The Appreciation Of Pleasure Can Be The Anchor Of Humanity.

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One Must Always Be Prepared For Riotous And Endless Waves Of Transformation.

Most Of Humanity, He Said, Have Eyes That Are So Caked Shut With The Dust Of Deception They Will Never See The Truth, No Matter Who Tries To Help Them.

Library Is A Beautiful Old Thing

I Share It Here Because Something Was About To Occur On That Bathroom Floor That Would Change Forever The Progression Of My Life..what Happened Was That I Started To Pray.

Traveling Is The Great True Love Of My Life

Love Of My Life

Great True Love

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Maybe This Is Just Some Stupid Romantic South American Idea, But I Need You To Understand-darling, For You, I Am Even Willing To Suffer. Whatever Pain Happens To Us In The Future, I Accept It Already, Just For The Pleasure Of Being With You Now. Let's Enjoy This Time. It's Marvelous. Felipe-eat, Pray, Love

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Moss Is Inconceivably Strong. Moss Eats Stone; Scarcely Anything, In Return, Eats Moss. Moss Dines Upon Boulders, Slowly But Devastatingly, In A Meal That Lasts For Centuries. Given Enough Time, A Colony Of Moss Can Turn A Cliff Into Gravel, And Turn That Gravel Into Topsoil.

I Want To Have A Lasting Experience With God. Sometimes I Feel Like I Understand The Divinity Of This World, But Then I Loose It Because I Get Distracted By My Petty Desires And Fears. I Want To Be With God All The Time. But I Don't Want To Be A Monk, Or Totally Give Up Worldly Pleasures. I Guess What I Want To Learn Is How To Leave In This World And Enjoy Its Delights, But Also Elevate Myself To God.

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I Think Another Way That You Can Really Harm Yourself As An Artist Is By Buying Into The Mythology That It's Really Important.

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The Love That Moves The Sun And The Other Stars.

I've Ruined My Eyes, I've Ruined My Health From My Studiousness!

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I Felt Like I Was Some Kind Of Primitive Spring-loaded Machine, Placed Under Far More Tension Than It Had Ever Been Built To Sustain, About To Blast Apart At Great Danger To Anyone Standing Nearby. I Imagined My Body Parts Flying Off My Torso In Order To Escape The Volcanic Core Of Unhappiness That Had Become: Me.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving. I Didn't Want To Destroy Anything Or Anybody. I Just Wanted To Slip Quietly Out The Back Door, Without Causing Any Fuss Or Consequences, And Then Not Stop Running Until I Reached Greenland.

Who Will Ever Kiss This Encyclopedia Of A Head?

The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

But He [depression] Just Gives Me That Dark Smile, Settles Into My Favorite Chair, Puts His Feet On My Table And Lights A Cigar, Filling The Place With His Awful Smoke. Loneliness Watches And Sighs, Then Climbs Into My Bed And Pulls The Covers Over Himself, Fully Dressed, Shoes And All. He's Going To Make Me Sleep With Him Again Tonight, I Just Know It.

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My Life's Accomplishments? Sanity, And You.

Fear Can Have A Voice, But It Doesn't Get A Vote.

I Want To Explore The Art Of Pleasure In Italy, The Art Of Devotion In India And, In Indonesia, The Art Of Balancing The Two. It Was Only Later, After Admitting This Dream, That I Noticed The Happy Coincidence That All These Countries Begin With The Letter I. A Fairly Auspicious Sign, It Seemed, On A Voyage Of Self-discovery.

I Think It's Wonderful When A Love Story Begins With A Great Deal Of Romance And Affection, Passion And Excitement, That's How It Should Be. But I Don't Necessarily Know That It's The Wisest Thing In The World To Expect That It Ends There, Or That It Should, 30 Years Down The Road, Still Look As It Did On The Night Of Your First Kiss.

I Feel Like All This Stuff That We Make: Books And Art And Music, All Of It. There's This Energy That Circles The World That Wants To Be Made Manifest, And It Is Just Looking For Someone To Come Through. And It's Dying For You To Make It. And If You Don't Do It, It Will Go Find Somebody Else.

Maybe The Difference Between First Marriage And Second Marriage Is That The Second Time At Least You Know You Are Gambling.

I Want To Learn How To Speak Italian. For Years, I'd Wished I Could Speak Italian--a Language I Find More Beautiful Than Roses :)

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If Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Settle For Simply Making Lemonade - Make A Glorious Scene At A Lemonade Stand.

God Never Slams A Door In Your Face Without Opening A Box Of Girl Scout Cookies.

He Told Me That One Of The Reasons People Are So Unhappy Is They Don't Talk To Themselves. He Said You Have To Keep A Conversation Going With Yourself Throughout Your Life To See How You're Doing, To Keep Your Focus, To Remain Your Own Friend. He Told Me That He Talked To Himself All The Time, And That It Helped Him To Grow Stronger And Better Everyday.

When I Diagnose My Depression Now, I Think It Was Partially About Saying Goodbye To These Kids That I Always Expected To Have But Already Knew That I Wouldn't.

The World Is Like A Dropped Pie Most Of The Time. Don't Kill Yourself Trying To Put It Back Together. Just Grab A Fork And Eat Some Of It Off The Floor. Then Carry On.

Yet What Keeps Me From Dissolving Right Now Into A Complete Fairy-tale Shimmer Is This Solid Truth, A Truth Which Has Veritably Built My Bones Over The Last Few Years--i Was Not Rescued By A Prince; I Was The Administrator Of My Own Rescue.

That's What We're All Sort Of Trying To Do In Our Lives - To Make The Simplest Things Work Out The Best.

I Think You Have Every Right To Cherry-pick When It Comes To Moving Your Spirit And Finding Peace In God. You Take Whatever Works From Wherever You Can Find It, And You Keep Moving Toward The Light.

Nothing Is So Essential As Dignity…time Will Reveal Who Has It And Who Has It Not.

There Was Really Only One Person Who - And I Remember To This Day - He Was A Fireman, And He Said, "you'll Never Know What You'll Do When You're In A Fire." Everyone Else Was Like: "i Don't Care; I Would Have Saved My Children; I Could Have Done It. Even If I Was Asleep I Would Have Woken Up And Saved My Children." But The Fireman Said, "you Never Know What's Going To Happen Unless You're In There."

Traditionally, I Have Responded To The Transcendent Mystics Of All Religions. I Have Always Responded With Breathless Excitement To Anyone Who Has Ever Said That God Does Not Live In A Dogmatic Scripture Or In A Distant Throne In The Sky, But Instead Abides Very Close To Us Indeed- Much Closer Than We Can Imagine, Breathing Right Through Our Own Hearts.

It's Easy Enough To Pray When You're In Distress But Continuing To Pray Even When Your Crisis Has Passed Is Like A Sealing Process, Helping Your Soul Hold Tight To Its Good Attainment.

Meditation Vs Prayer = Listening Vs Talking

We're Miserable Because We Think That We Are Mere Individuals, Alone With Our Fears And Flaws And Resentment And Mortality.

True Wisdom Gives The Only Possible Answer At Any Given Moment, And That Night, Going Back To Bed Was The Only Possible Answer.

I Have My Own Set Of Survival Techniques. I Am Patient. I Know How To Pack Light. But My One Might Travel Talent Is That I Can Make Friends With Anybody. I Can Make Friends With The Dead. If There Isn’t Anyone Else Around To Talk To, I Could Probably Make Friends With A Four-foot-tall Pile Of Sheetrock. That Is Why I’m Not Afraid To Travel To The Most Remote Places In The World, Not If There Are Human Beings There To Meet. People Asked Me Before I Left, “do You Have Friends [there]?’ And I Would Just Shake My Head No, Thinking To Myself, But I Will.

Before You Realize This Truth, Say The Yogis, You Will Always Be In Despair, A Notion Nicely Expressed In This Exasperated Line From The Greek Stoic Philosopher Epictetus: 'you Bear God Within You, Poor Wretch, And Know It Not.

I Think That If You Can Roast A Chicken, You Can Get Whatever You Want Out Of A Woman. Maybe It's Just Me But I Would Suspect That A Man Trying To Impress A Woman Would Be More Likely To Bring Out The Steak - "i Killed This For You, Now I'm Grilling It For You."... A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

I Equal Parts Loved Him And Could Not Stand Him. I Couldn't Wake Him To Share In My Distress.

Americans Have An Inability To Relax Into Sheer Pleasure.ours Is An Entertainment Seeking-nation, But Not Necessarily A Pleasure-seeking One....this Is The Cause Of That Great Sad American Stereotype- The Overstressed Executive Who Goes On Vacation, But Who Cannot Relax.

Pleasure Seeking

I Would Say That If You Really Want To Stop Knowing Someone, You Have To Divorce Him.

Indeed, When I Came To Italy, I Expected To Encounter A Certain Amount Of Resentment, But Have Received Instead Empathy From Most Italians. In Any Reference To George Bush, People Only Nod To Berlusconi, Saying","we Understand How It Is - We Have One, Too.

I Feel Like If I Were To Get Another Tattoo, It Would Probably Be Those Two Words. Just Stubborn, Stubborn, Stubborn Gladness.

I Still Can’t Say Whether I Ever Want Children….i Can Only Say How I Feel Now--grateful To Be On My Own. I Also Know That I Won’t Go Forth And Have Children Just In Case I Might Regret Missing It Later In Life; I Don’t Think This Is A Strong Enough Motivation To Bring More Babies Onto The Earth.

I Believe That - If You Are Serious About A Life Of Writing, Or Indeed About Any Creative Form Of Expression - That You Should Take On This Work Like A Holy Calling.

When The Karma Of A Relationship Is Done, Only Love Remains. It's Safe. Let Go.

And We Have A Little Herb Garden, Which Survived The Winter Thanks To Global Warming. It Makes Me Feel Like A Cool, Old Italian Housewife, That I Kept My Rosemary Alive Outside All Winter.

As For Discipline—it's Important, But Sort Of Overrated. The More Important Virtue For A Writer, I Believe, Is Self-forgiveness. Because Your Writing Will Always Disappoint You. Your Laziness Will Always Disappoint You.

Happiness Is The Consequence Of Personal Effort. You Must Fight For It, Strive For It, And Insist Upon It.

If You're Brave Enough To Leave Behind Everything Familiar And Comforting, Which Can Be Anything From Your House To Bitter, Old Resentments, And Set Out On A Truth-seeking Journey, Either Externally Or Internally, And If You Are Truly Willing To Regard Everything That Happens To You On That Journey As A Clue And If You Accept Everyone You Meet Along The Way As A Teacher And If You Are Prepared, Most Of All, To Face And Forgive Some Very Difficult Realities About Yourself, Then The Truth Will Not Be Withheld From You.

The Bhagavad Gita—that Ancient Indian Yogic Text—says That It Is Better To Live Your Own Destiny Imperfectly Than To Live An Imitation Of Somebody Else’s Life With Perfection. So Now I Have Started Living My Own Life. Imperfect And Clumsy As It May Look, It Is Resembling Me Now, Thoroughly.

Marriage Is Not A Game For The Young.

The Four Virtues A Person Needs In Order To Be Safe And Happy In Life: Intelligence, Friendship, Strength And (i Love This One) Poetry.

If I Could Read While I Was Driving, Showering, Socializing Or Sleeping, I Would Do It.

Happiness Is The Consequence Of Personal Effort. You Fight For It, Strive For It, Insist Upon It, And Sometimes Even Travel Around The World Looking For It. You Have To Participate Relentlessly In The Manifestations Of Your Own Blessings. And Once You Have Achieved A State Of Happiness, You Must Never Become Lax About Maintaining It. You Must Make A Mighty Effort To Keep Swimming Upward Into That Happiness Forever, To Stay Afloat On Top Of It.

There Is A Level Of Grief So Deep That It Stops Resembling Grief At All. The Pain Becomes So Severe That The Body Can No Longer Feel It. The Grief Cauterizes Itself, Scars Over, Prevents Inflated Feeling. Such Numbness Is A Kind Of Mercy.

God Isn't Interested In Watching You Enact Some Performance Of Personality In Order To Comply With Some Crackpot Notion You Have About How A Spiritual Person Looks Or Behaves. We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Dramatic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality.

I Was Not Rescued By A Prince; I Was The Administrator Of My Own Rescue.

I Was The Baby Of The Family, But I Was Never Babied, And That Allowed Me To Take Whatever Artistic Temperament I Had And Apply Learned Discipline. I Was Taught How To Work. I Think That's Everything. Creativity And Imagination Alone Are Not Going To Get You There.

I'm Choosing Happiness Over Suffering, I Know I Am. I'm Making Space For The Unknown Future To Fill Up My Life With Yet-to-come Surprises.

You Know The Old Adage: Plant An Expectation, Reap A Disappointment.

In The Modern Industrialized Western World, Where I Come From, The Person Whom You Choose To Marry Is Perhaps The Single Most Vivid Representation Of Your Own Personality. Your Spouse Becomes The Most Gleaming Possible Mirror Through Which Your Emotional Individualism Is Reflected Back To The World. There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

Thich Nhat Hanh Has The Ability To Bring Forth The State Of Peace That We Each Inherently Posses Merely By His Presence In A Room-this Is Divine Power.

You Almost Can't Wait Too Long [to Get Married]. The Longer You Wait, The Better Off You Are Going To Be. And The Happier Your Kids Are Going To Be, And The Happier A Mom You Are Going To Be.

Clearing Out All Your Misery Gets You Out Of The Way. You Cease Being An Obstacle, Not Only To Yourself But To Anyone Else. Only Then Are You Free To Serve And Enjoy Other People.

I Consider A Good Dinner Party At Our House To Be Where People Drink And Eat More Than They're Meant To.

Deep Grief Sometimes Is Almost Like A Specific Location, A Coordinate On A Map Of Time. When You Are Standing In That Forest Of Sorrow, You Cannot Imagine That You Could Ever Find Your Way To A Better Place. But If Someone Can Assure You That They Themselves Have Stood In That Same Place, And Now Have Moved On, Sometimes This Will Bring Hope

Success Isn't About Acquiring Things, It's About Discovering Your Life Purpose And Following The Call

Acquiring Things

Do I Really Deserve This Pleasure? This Is American, Too-the Insecurity About Whether We Have Earned Our Happiness.

It Seems Obvious That There Comes Period In Your Life When You Have To Learn To Say No To Things You Don't Want To Do. But The Biggest Trickiest Lesson In Holding On The Stalwart Committment To Your Creativity Is Learning How To Say No To The Things You Do Want To Do.

Teach Your Heart That This Is Destiny

Equally Disquieting Are The Times When We Do Make A Choice, Only To Later Feel As Though We Have Murdered Some Other Aspect Of Our Being By Settling On One Single Concrete Decision.

[italian Men] Are Like Show Poodles. Sometimes They Look So Good I Want To Applaud.

Life's Metaphors Are God's Instructions.

All The Parts Of Us That We Ever Were Are Always Going To Be With Us. You Make Space To Carry Them And You Just Try Not To Let Them Drive. But You Can't Chuck Them Out Either.

There Were Times, Especially When I Was Traveling For 'eat, Pray, Love,' When, I Swear To God, I Would Feel This Weight Of My Female Ancestors, All Those Swedish Farmwives From Beyond The Grave Who Were Like, 'go! Go To Naples! Eat More Pizza! Go To India, Ride An Elephant! Do It! Swim In The Indian Ocean. Read Those Books. Learn A Language.'

In Stillness, I Watched Myselfget Eaten By Mosquitoes... The Itch Was Maddening At First But Eventually It Just Melded Into A General Burning Feeling And I Rode That Heat To A Mld Euphoria. I Allowed The Pain To Lose Its Specific Associations And Become Pure Sensation... And That Eventually Lifted Me Out Of Myself And Into Meditation.

A Soul Mates Purpose Is To Shake You Up, Tear Apart Your Ego A Little Bit, Show You Your Obstacles And Addictions, Break Your Heart Open So New Light Can Get In, Make You So Desperate And Out Of Control That You Have To Transform Your Life, Then Introduce You To Your Spiritual Master.

My Husband Is Not American. He Was Born In Brazil, Where He Grew Up Under A Filthy, Corrupt Dictatorship. In His Twenties, He Moved To Europe, Where He Lived For A While Under Various Socialist Democracies. He Spent A Few Years On A Kibbutz In Israel, Living Out A Utopian Experiment In Communal Existence.

Travel Is Similar To Therapy. You Can Go To The Best Psychologist In The World For Ten Years. If You Don't Feel Like Actively Shifting Anything In Your Life, There Is Nothing That Person Can Do To Change You.

And Then, In That Regal Silence, Finally - I Began To Meditate On (and With) God.

Infatuation Is Not Quite The Same Thing As Love; It's More Like Love's Shady Second Cousin Who's Always Borrowing Money And Can't Hold Down A Job.

Someone Asked Me If I Would Like To Write A Man On Death Row, Be A Pen Pal, And I Was Like, Sure. I Volunteered. I Had Been In A Place In My Life - A Relationship Had Ended; My Parents Were Getting Elderly - I Was Kind Of Adrift. The Name That Was Given To Me, Just Randomly, Was Todd Willingham. And He Wrote Me A Letter, And In This Letter, He Thanked Me For Writing Him And [said That] If I Would Like To Visit, He Would Put Me On His Visitor List... I Was Just Really Struck By The Letter From Todd. It Was Very Polite; It Was Very Kind.

Mostly You Meet Friends When Traveling By Accident, Like By Sitting Next To Them On The Train, Or In A Restaurant, Or In A Holding Cell.

The Thing That I Do Try To Convey Is, Don't Do What I Did - But Ask What I Asked.

We Live In This Society Where You Must Constantly Be Reinventing Yourself. The Big Question Is What Are You Doing Next. The Only Thing They Want Is Composed Of These Three Elements: They Want You To Do It The Exact Same Way Because They Want More Of It; But They Want It To Be Totally Different; And They Want It To Be Better. That's All You Have To Do. You Just Have To Do Something That's Exactly The Same, Totally Different, And Better.

The Yogic Scriptures Say That God Responds To The Sacred Prayers And Efforts Of Human Beings In Any Way Whatsoever That Mortals Choose To Worship - Just So Long As Those Prayers Are Sincere.

I Actually Have A Great Deal Of Respect For Antidepressants; I Think They Can Be Enormously Mighty Tools Toward Recovery.

And When You Sense A Faint Potentiality For Happiness After Such Dark Times You Must Grab Onto The Ankles Of That Happiness And Not Let Go Until It Drags You Face-first Out Of The Dirt - This Is Not Selfishness, But Obligation. You Were Given Life; It Is Your Duty To Find Something Beautiful Within Life No Matter How Slight.

I Have More Compassion Than If I Had Led A Life Where Everything Worked Out Exactly As I Had Planned Or If I Had Never Been Wounded Or If I Had Never Been Betrayed Or I Had Never Been Harmed. I Don't Think I Would Be As Good A Person.

I Had Always Been Taught That The Pursuit Of Happiness Was My Natural (even National) Birthright. It Is The Emotional Trademark Of My Culture To Seek Happiness. Not Just Any Kind Of Happiness, Either, But Profound Happiness, Even Soaring Happiness. And What Could Possibly Bring A Person More Soaring Happiness Than Romantic Love.

Pursuit Of Happiness

To Sit Patiently With A Yearning That Has Not Yet Been Fulfilled, And To Trust That, That Fulfillment Will Come, Is Quite Possibly One Of The Most Powerful "magic Skills" That Human Beings Are Capable Of. It Has Been Noted By Almost Every Ancient Wisdom Tradition

Desiring Another Person Is Perhaps The Most Risky Endeavor Of All. As Soon As You Want Somebody—really Want Him—it Is As Though You Have Taken A Surgical Needle And Sutured Your Happiness To The Skin Of That Person, So That Any Separation Will Now Cause A Lacerating Injury.

Who Loves You Most? Who Loves You Best? Who Thinks Of You When Others Rest?

Now Imagine A Life In Which Every Day A Person Is Presented With Not Two Or Even Three But Dozens Of Choices, And You Can Begin To Grasp Why The Modern World Has Become, Even With All Its Advantages, A Neurosis-generating Machine Of The Highest Order.

But, Ancient Greece And Ancient Rome - People Did Not Happen To Believe That Creativity Came From Human Beings Back Then, Ok? People Believed That Creativity Was This Divine Attendant Spirit That Came To Human Beings From Some Distant And Unknowable Source, For Distant And Unknowable Reasons.

To Feel Physically Comfortable With Someone Else's Body Is Not A Decision You Make. It Has Very Little Thing To Do With How Two People Think Or Act Or Talk Or Even Look. The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

Decisions You Make

You Have The Opposite Of Poker Face. You Have Like.. Miniature Golf Face.

I Was Perfectly Happy In My Boring Life Before You Came Along.

Given That Life Is So Short, Do I Really Want To Spend One-ninetieth Of My Remaining Days On Earth Reading Edward Gibbon?

In A World Of Disorder And Disaster And Fraud, Sometimes Only Beauty Can Be Trusted. Only Artistic Excellence Is Incorruptible. Pleasure Cannot Be Bargained Down. And Sometimes The Meal Is The Only Currency That Is Real.

The Best We Can Do Then, In Response To Our Incomprehensible And Dangerous World, Is To Practice Holding Equilibrium Internally - No Matter What Insanity Is Transpiring Out There.

Dangerous World

As Somebody Who, In My Second Marriage, Insisted On A Prenuptial Agreement, I Can Also Testify That Sometimes It Is An Act Of Love To Chart The Exit Strategy Before You Enter The Union, In Order To Make Sure That Not Only You, But Your Partner As Well, Knows That There Will Be No World War Iii Should Hearts And Minds, For Any Sad Reason, Change.

Longing To Travel While You Are Already Traveling Is, I Admit, A Kind Of Greedy Madness

We All Have Love Stories That Go Terribly Wrong; We All Have Horribly Broken Hearts. And Somehow We Endure. We're Not Destroyed By It. We Endure And Go On To Do Interesting Things And Have Worthy Lives, Even Though We Carry Our Heartbreaks With Us. That's A Kind Of Personal Story Of Mine That I Don't Think I Would Tell In Memoir But I Do Think I Can Tell In Fiction.

By Unnerving Definition, Anything That The Heart Has Chosen For Its Own Mysterious Reasons It Can Always Unchoose Later—again, For Its Own Mysterious Reasons.

There Is A Theory That If You Yearn Sincerely Enough For A Guru, You Will Find One. The Universe Will Shift, Destiny's Molecules Will Get Themselves Organized And Your Path Will Soon Intersect With The Path Of The Master You Need.

You May Return Here Once You Have Fully Come To Understand That You Are Always Here.

I Said, "it Seems Like You Have Fond Feelings Toward Your Ex-wife. Are You Two Still Close?" "nah," He Said Casually. "she Thinks I Changed My Name To Motherfucker."

Creativity Is A Scavenger Hunt. It's Your Obligation To Pay Attention To Clues, To The Thing That Gives You That Little Tweak.

And What Will I Be Able To Do Tomorrow That I Cannot Yet Do Today?

I Watched Them, Thinking That Little Girls Who Make Their Mothers Live Grow Up To Be Such Powerful Women.

That’s The Thing About A Human Life-there’s No Control Group, No Way To Ever Know How Any Of Us Would Have Turned Out If Any Variables Had Been Changed.

Why Must Everything Be Repeat And Repeat, Never Finish, Never Resting? You Work So Hard One Day, But The Next Day You Must Only Work Again. You Eat, But The Next Day, You Are Already Hungry. You Find Love, Then Love Goes Away. You Are Born With Nothing, You Work Hard, Then You Die With Nothing. You Are Young, Then You Are Old. No Matter How Hard You Work, You Cannot Stop Getting Old. - Wayan

With Each Reunion (we) Had To Learn Each Other All Over Again. There Was Always That Nervous Moment At The Airport When I Would Stand There Waiting For Him To Arrive, Wondering, Will I Still Know Him? Will He Still Know Me?

How Could Two People Who Were So In Love Not End Up Happily Ever After? It Had To Work. Didn’t It?

Never Forget That Once Upon A Time, In An Unguarded Moment, You Recognized Yourself As A Friend.

Once Upon A Time

I Thought About One Of My Favorite Sufi Poems, Which Says That God Long Ago Drew A Circle In The Sand Exactly Around The Spot Where You Are Standing Right Now. I Was Never Not Coming Here. This Was Never Not Going To Happen.

I Am Far More Of A Loner Than People Would Imagine. But I Am The Most Gregarious And Socially Interactive Loner You Ever Met. The Thing Is, I Am Fascinated By People's Stories And I'm Very Talkative And Can't Ever Say No To Anything Or Anyone, So I Tend To Over-socialize, To Give Away Too Much Of My Time To The Many People I Adore.

I Will Not Harbor Unhealthy Thoughts Anymore.

If Todd [willingham] Was Guilty Of Anything, It Was Just His Self-preservation. He Got Up And Ran Out Of The House And Then Thought About The Children After The Fact.

I Had A Great Teacher In India Who Said To Me, 'if You Think You're Spiritual And Evolved And Enlightened, Go Home For Christmas.'

Offer It Up Personally,then. Right Now. I Thought Of How Many People Go To Their Graves Unforgiven And Unforgiving. I Thought Of How Many People Have Had Siblings Or Friends Or Children Or Lovers Disappear From Their Lives Before Precious Words Of Clemency Or Absolution Could Be Passed Along. How Do The Survivors Of Terminated Relationships Ever Endure The Pain Of Unfinished Business? From That Place Of Meditation, I Found The Answer-you Can Finish The Business Yourself, From Within Yourself. It's Not Only Possible, It's Essential.

Go Back To Bed', Said The Omniscient Interior Voice, Because You Don't Need To Know The Final Answer Right Now, At Three O'clock In The Morning On The Thursday In November. 'go Back To Bed', Because I Love You. 'go Back To Bed', Beacause The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer.

You Can Butcher The Sheep Only Once. But If You Are Careful, You Can Shear The Sheep Every Year.

Dear Lord, Please Show Me Everything I Need To Understand About Forgiveness And Surrender

The Great Sufi Poet And Philosopher Rumi Once Advised His Students To Write Down The Three Things They Most Wanted In Life. If Any Item On The List Clashes With Any Other Item, Rumi Warned, You Are Destined For Unhappiness.

Childlessness Doesn't Make People Selfish; Selfishness Makes People Selfish.

You Have To Participate Relentlessly In The Manifestation Of Your Own Blessings.

Follow Your Dreams

I See A Lot Of Women Who Can't Travel When They're Young, And Then Their Kids Grow Up And They Become Amazing Adventurers. Travel Is Not Only For The Young. Sometimes It's Wasted On The Young.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving.

In Desperate Love, We Always Invent The Characters Of Our Partners, Demanding They Be What We Need Of Them, And Then Feeling Devastated When They Refuse To Perform The Role We Created In The First Place.

Smile With Face, Smile With Mind, And Good Energy Will Come To You And Clean Away Dirty Energy.

Until-as Often Happened During Those First Months Travel, Whenever I Would Feel Such Happiness-my Guilt Alarm Went Off. I Heard My Ex-husband's Voice Speaking Disdainfully In My Ear: So This Is What You Gave Up Everything For? This Is Why You Gutted Our Entire Life Together? For A Few Stalks Of Asparagus And An Italian Newspaper? I Replied Aloud To Him: "first Of All," I Said, "i'm Very Sorry, But This Isn't Your Business Anymore. And Secondly, To Answer You Question...yes.

Devotion Is Diligence Without Assurance. If Faith Were Rational, It Wouldn't Be By Definition Faith. Faith Is Walking Face-first And Full Speed Into The Dark.

If You're Going To Answer The Call And You're Going To Transform And You're Going To Change, Get Ready. It Is Not A Day At The Beach.

There Are Always Two Figures In A Marriage, Two Votes, Two Conflicting Sets Of Decisions, Desires And Limitations.

I've Always Been Afraid Of Saying No To People Because I Don't Want Them To Be Disappointed And Dislike Me.

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