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What If We Just Acknowledged That We Have A Bad Relationship, And We Stuck It Out, Anyway? What If We Admitted That We Make Each Other Nuts, We Fight Constantly And Hardly Ever Have Sex, But We Can't Live Without Each Other, So We Deal With It? And Then We Could Spend Our Lives Together - In Misery, But Happy To Not Be Apart.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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What If We Just

Elizabeth Gilbert

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What If We Just Acknowledged That We Have A Bad Relationship, And We Stuck It Out, Anyway? What If We Admitted That We Make Each Other Nuts, We Fight Constantly And Hardly Ever Have Sex, But We Can't Live Without Each Other, So We Deal With It? And Then We Could Spend Our Lives Together - In Misery, But Happy To Not Be Apart.

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Bad Relationship

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The Four Virtues A Person Needs In Order To Be Safe And Happy In Life: Intelligence, Friendship, Strength And (i Love This One) Poetry.

The Nineteenth Century Was The Last Moment In History When A Relatively Educated Layperson Could Follow What Was Going On In The World Of Science And Invention To A Wide Degree. Also, There Were No "professionals". This Was A Time When Amateur Explorers, Naturalists And Enthusiasts Were Are Still Making Major Contributions To Progress.

My Heart Skipped A Beat And Then Flat-out Tripped Over Itself And Fell On Its Face. Then My Heart Stood Up, Brushed Itself Off, Took A Deep Breath And Announced: "i Want A Spiritual Teacher.

Longing To Travel While You Are Already Traveling Is, I Admit, A Kind Of Greedy Madness

My Life Acccomplishments? Sanity, And You

Traveling-to-a-place Energy And Living-in-a-place Energy Are Two Fundamentally Different Energies

I Believe In A Magnificent God.

The Hero's Journey Is Simply Who We Are As Human Beings.

I Went To Shea Stadium And Used The Men's Room. Terrifying. There Was This Little Kid Looking At Me Through The Crack [in The Stall]. And I Was Like, "if You Tell Anyone What You've Seen..."

What If We Just Acknowledged That We Have A Bad Relationship, And We Stuck It Out, Anyway? What If We Admitted That We Make Each Other Nuts, We Fight Constantly And Hardly Ever Have Sex, But We Can't Live Without Each Other, So We Deal With It? And Then We Could Spend Our Lives Together - In Misery, But Happy To Not Be Apart.

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I Watched Them, Thinking That Little Girls Who Make Their Mothers Live Grow Up To Be Such Powerful Women.

If You're Brave Enough To Leave Behind Everything Familiar And Comforting, Which Can Be Anything From Your House To Bitter, Old Resentments, And Set Out On A Truth-seeking Journey, Either Externally Or Internally, And If You Are Truly Willing To Regard Everything That Happens To You On That Journey As A Clue And If You Accept Everyone You Meet Along The Way As A Teacher And If You Are Prepared, Most Of All, To Face And Forgive Some Very Difficult Realities About Yourself, Then The Truth Will Not Be Withheld From You.

There's A Part Of Me Which Has Always Wanted To Hear A Man Say, "let Me Take Care Of You Forever," And I Have Never Heard It Spoken Before. Over The Last Few Years, I'd Given Up Looking For That Person, Learned How To Say This Heartening Sentence To Myself, Especially In Times Of Fear. But To Hear It From Someone Else Now, From Someone Who Is Speaking Sincerely.

Someone Has To Write All Those Stories: Why Not Me?

But If You Can Plant Yourself In Stillness Long Enough, You Will, In Time, Experience The Truth That Everything (both Uncomfortable And Lovely) Does Eventually Pass.

Traditionally, I Have Responded To The Transcendent Mystics Of All Religions. I Have Always Responded With Breathless Excitement To Anyone Who Has Ever Said That God Does Not Live In A Dogmatic Scripture Or In A Distant Throne In The Sky, But Instead Abides Very Close To Us Indeed- Much Closer Than We Can Imagine, Breathing Right Through Our Own Hearts.

I Have Had Work Or Ideas Come Through Me From A Source That I Honestly Cannot Identify. And What Is That Thing? And How Are We To Relate To It In A Way That Will Not Make Us Lose Our Minds, But, In Fact, Might Actually Keep Us Sane?

The Silly Putty-like Malleability Of The Institution [marriage], In Fact, Is The Only Reason We Still Have The Thing At All. Very Few People... Would Accept Marriage On It's Thirteenth-century Terms. Marriage Survives, In Other Words, Precisely Because It Evolves. (though I Suppose This Would Not Be A Very Persuasive Argument To Those Who Probably Also Don't Believe In Evolution).

The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

My Work Is Incredibly Important To Me Personally. It Brings Me Joy And It Brings Me Life And It Brings Me Meaning. It Doesn't Necessarily Have To Be Important To The People Who Read It.

We Have Hands; We Can Stand On Them If We Want To. That's Our Privilege. That's The Joy Of A Mortal Body. And That's Why God Needs Us. Because God Loves To Feel Things Through Our Hands.

Stop Wearing Your Wishbone Where Your Backbone Ought To Be.

The Yogic Path Is About Disentangling The Built-in Glitches Of The Human Condition, Which I'm Going To Over-simply Define Here As The Heartbreaking Inability To Sustain Contentment.

Deep Grief Sometimes Is Almost Like A Specific Location, A Coordinate On A Map Of Time. When You Are Standing In That Forest Of Sorrow, You Cannot Imagine That You Could Ever Find Your Way To A Better Place. But If Someone Can Assure You That They Themselves Have Stood In That Same Place, And Now Have Moved On, Sometimes This Will Bring Hope

He Told Me That One Of The Reasons People Are So Unhappy Is They Don't Talk To Themselves. He Said You Have To Keep A Conversation Going With Yourself Throughout Your Life To See How You're Doing, To Keep Your Focus, To Remain Your Own Friend. He Told Me That He Talked To Himself All The Time, And That It Helped Him To Grow Stronger And Better Everyday.

A Soul Mates Purpose Is To Shake You Up, Tear Apart Your Ego A Little Bit, Show You Your Obstacles And Addictions, Break Your Heart Open So New Light Can Get In, Make You So Desperate And Out Of Control That You Have To Transform Your Life, Then Introduce You To Your Spiritual Master.

They Flank Me - Depression On My Left, Loneliness On My Right. They Don't Need To Show Their Badges. I Know These Guys Very Well. ... Then They Frisk Me. They Empty My Pockets Of Any Joy I Had Been Carrying There. Depression Even Confiscates My Identity; But He Always Does That.

The World Needs Women Who Stop Asking For Permission From The Principal. Permission To Live Their Lives As They Deeply Know They Often Should. I Think We Still Look To Authority Figures For Validation, Recognition, Permission.

Creative People Always Suffer From Depression Because We're So Super Sensitive And Special?

Oh, Cold World -- I Have Grown So Weary Of You And All Your Horrible Bathrooms.

I Myself Have Never Been Enchanted By The Dream Of The White Wedding, And, Heaven Help Us, The Expectation That This Exquisitely Catered Event Should Be 'the Happiest Moment' Of One's Life.

I Should Just Put It Bluntly, Because We're All Sort Of Friends Here Now - It's Exceedingly Likely That My Greatest Success Is Behind Me. Oh, So Jesus, What A Thought! You Know That's The Kind Of Thought That Could Lead A Person To Start Drinking Gin At Nine O'clock In The Morning, And I Don't Want To Go There.

One Of These Poems I Wrote After Having Been Here Only A Month. The Other, I Wrote This Morning. In The Space Between The Two Poems, I Have Found Acres Of Grace

To Be Fully Seen By Somebody, Then, And Be Loved Anyhow - This Is A Human Offering That Can Border On Miraculous.

I Am Not An Expert At Praying, As You Know. But Can You Please Help Me? I Am In Desperate Need Of Help. I Don't Know What To Do. I Need An Answer. Please Tell Me What To Do.

I Was Just Really Appalled, And I Really Kept Quiet Until I Saw The Governor [rick Perry] Get On And Repeat The Same Words That The Prosecution Had Used In The Penalty Phase: That He [todd Willingham] Was A Monster. And That Got Me To Get On To The Computer And Connect With Some Of The Media And Say: "i Have His Letters. He Wasn't A Monster. He Was A Caring Individual." Let Them See Another Side.

I Never Promised The Universe That I Would Write Brilliantly; I Only Promised The Universe That I Would Write.

There Were Times, Especially When I Was Traveling For 'eat, Pray, Love,' When, I Swear To God, I Would Feel This Weight Of My Female Ancestors, All Those Swedish Farmwives From Beyond The Grave Who Were Like, 'go! Go To Naples! Eat More Pizza! Go To India, Ride An Elephant! Do It! Swim In The Indian Ocean. Read Those Books. Learn A Language.'

I Can Honestly Say [that Writing] Is The Best Life There Is, Because You Get To Live Within The Realm Of Your Own Mind, And That Is A Profoundly Rare Human Privilege.

Parla Come Magni,' It Means, 'speak The Way You Eat,' Or In My Personal Translation: 'say It Like You Eat It.' It's A Reminder - When You're Making A Big Deal Out Of Explaining Something, When You're Searching For The Right Words - To Keep Your Language As Simple And Direct As Roman Rood. Don't Make A Big Production Out Of It. Just Lay It On The Table.

I've Never Seen Any Life Transformation That Didn't Begin With The Person In Question Finally Getting Tired Of Their Own Bullshit.

Clearing Out All Your Misery Gets You Out Of The Way. You Cease Being An Obstacle, Not Only To Yourself But To Anyone Else. Only Then Are You Free To Serve And Enjoy Other People.

And We Have A Little Herb Garden, Which Survived The Winter Thanks To Global Warming. It Makes Me Feel Like A Cool, Old Italian Housewife, That I Kept My Rosemary Alive Outside All Winter.

At Some Point, You Gotta Let Go, And Sit Still, And Allow Contentment To Come To You.

My Restlessness Makes Me A Far Better Day-to-day Traveler Than He Will Ever Be. I Am Infinitely Curious And Almost Infinitely Patient With Mishaps, Discomforts, And Minor Disasters. So I Can Go Anywhere On The Planet—that’s Not A Problem. The Problem Is That I Just Can’t Live Anywhere On The Planet.

I Was Perfectly Happy In My Boring Life Before You Came Along.

Marriage Is A Strange Combination Of Dream And Reality, And We Spend Our Lives As Couples Trying To Negotiate That Divide.

There Are Only Two Questions That Human Beings Have Ever Fought Over, All Through History. 'how Much Do You Love Me?' And, 'who's In Charge?' Everything Else Is Somehow Manageable. But These Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering.

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart. The Only Thing The Mind Hears All Day Is Clanging Bells And Noise And Argument, And All It Wants Is Quietude. The Only Place The Mind Will Ever Find Peace Is Inside The Silence Of The Heart. That's Where You Need To Go.

There Are Always Two Figures In A Marriage, Two Votes, Two Conflicting Sets Of Decisions, Desires And Limitations.

You Never Know How A Good Quest Is Going To End.

Traveling Is The Great True Love Of My Life

Love Of My Life

Great True Love

Only The Young And Stupid Are Confident About Sex And Romance.

Nobody's Really Paying That Much Attention To Your Massive Personal Dramas.

There's Always Another Level Up. There's Always Another Ascension. More Grace, More Light, More Generosity, More Compassion, More To Shed, More To Grow.

Marriage Is Not Simply A Romantic Union Between Two People; It's Also A Political And Economic Contract Of The Highest Order.

Our Relationship Now Thoroughly Ruined, With Even Civility Destroyed Between Us, All I Wanted Anymore Was The Door.

Our Relationship

The Gods Are Fond Of The Cryptic And Dislike The Evident.

I See Women Who Have This Struggle Between What They Know Is Right, What They Know Is Necessary, What They Know Is Healthy, What They Know Is Good For Them, What They Know Is Good For The Work That They Need To Do, What They Know Is Good For Their Bodies, What They Know Is Good For Their Families - All Too Often Ending That Statement With The Upturned Question Mark: "if It's Okay With Everyone?" Still Asking, Still Requesting, Still Filing Petitions For Somebody To Say That It's All Right.

The Augusteum Warns Me Not To Get Attached To Any Obsolete Ideas About Who I Am, What I Represent, Whom I Belong To, Or What Function I May Once Have Intended To Serve.

I Have Good Idea, For If You Meet Some Person From Different Religion And He Want To Make Argument About God. My Idea Is, You Listen To Everything This Man Say About God. Never Argue About God With Him. Best Thing To Say Is, 'i Agree With You.' Then You Go Home, Pray What You Want. This Is My Idea For People To Have Peace About Religion.

We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Drastic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality. To Know God, You Only Need To Renounce One Thing - Your Sense Of Division From God

To Find The Balance You Want, This Is What You Must Become. You Must Keep Your Feet Grounded So Firmly On The Earth That It's Like You Have 4 Legs Instead Of 2. That Way, You Can Stay In The World. But You Must Stop Looking At The World Through Your Head. You Must Look Through Your Heart, Instead. That Way, You Will Know God.

The Trick At Every Turn Was To Endure The Test Of Living For As Long As Possible. The Odds Of Survival Were Punishingly Slim, For The World Was Naught By A School Of Calamity And An Endless Burning Furnace Of Tribulation. But Those Who Survived The World Shaped It--even As The World, Simultaneously, Shaped Them.

There's No Trouble In This World So Serious That It Can't Be Cured With A Hot Bath, A Glass Of Whiskey, And The Book Of Common Prayer.

We Gallop Through Our Lives Like Circus Performers Balancing On Two Speeding Side-by-side Horses--one Foot Is On The Horse Called "fate," The Other On The Horse Called "free Will." And The Question You Have To Ask Every Day Is--which Horse Is Which? Which Horse Do I Need To Stop Worrying About Because It's Not Under My Control, And Which Do I Need To Steer With Concentrated Effort?

I Think Of Modern Marriage As A Car Strangely Fashioned Out Of An Old Abandoned Horse Carriage, Built Upon The Framework Of A Mule Cart. All The Original Engineering Is Still There, Underneath It All.

I Feel Like There Are Women Who Are Genuinely Born To Be Mothers, And Women Who Are Born To Be Aunties, And Women Who Really Probably Not Should Be Allowed Near Children. The Tragedy That Happens Is When Any One Of Those Women Ends Up In The Wrong Category.

The Best We Can Do Then, In Response To Our Incomprehensible And Dangerous World, Is To Practice Holding Equilibrium Internally - No Matter What Insanity Is Transpiring Out There.

Dangerous World

Eventually, Everything Goes Away.

But Vegetarians Can Eat This...because Intestines Aren't Even Meat, Liz. They're Just Sh$*.

As I Got Older, I Discovered That Nothing Within Me Cried Out For A Baby. My Womb Did Not Seem To Have Come Equipped With That Famously Ticking Clock. Unlike So Many Of My Friends, I Did Not Ache With Longing Whenever I Saw An Infant. (though I Did Ache With Longing, It Is True, Whenever I Saw A Good Used-book Shop)

Attraversiamo (meaning "lets Cross Over" In Italian)

You Have To Participate Relentlessly In The Manifestation Of Your Own Blessings.

Follow Your Dreams

I Have These New Policies Toward My Life, Like 'i Will Not Accelerate When I See The Yellow Light.'

At That Moment Of Realization (that Union With God Is Always Present), That's When God Let Me Go, Let Me Slide Through His Fingers With This Last Compassionate, Unspoken Message: You May Return Here Once You Have Fully Come To Understand That You Are Always Here.

God Wants Us To Be In Joy, God Wants Us To Be Happy. Because Of This Extraordinary Consciousness And This Great Ability For Wonder And Marvel, And Without Denying Any Of The Terrors And Horrors Of The World, We Also Have An Obligation Toward Joy And Toward Miracle And Excitement.

Whatever This Feeling Is - This Is What I Have Been Praying For. And This Is Also What I Have Been Praying To.

And What Will I Be Able To Do Tomorrow That I Cannot Yet Do Today?

It Is Completely Acceptable To Be Tired Because It Means You're Working Hard. But It's Not Acceptable To Be Stressed Because That Means Things Are Going Wrong Or Your Head Is Broken.

Yoga Is The Effort To Experience One's Divinity Personally And Then To Hold On To That Experience Forever.

Here Was Something I Already Knew To Be True About Myself: Just As There Are Some Wives Who Will Occasionally Need A Break From Their Husbands In Order To Visit A Spa For The Weekend With Their Girlfriends, I Will Always Be The Sort Of Wife Who Occasionally Needs A Break From Her Husband In Order To Visit Cambodia. Just For A Few Days!

I Never Wanted To Be The Person That Waited For A Stranger To Come To Town - I Wanted To Be The Stranger!

That Is Who Barack Obama Is - A Person Of Admirable Character - And That Is Who He Has Remained For Me Over These Last Four Years. I Have Not Agreed With His Every Decision, But Never Once Have I Seen Him Break His Cool, Lose His Composure, Or Abandon His Insightful Perspective - Even During The Most Serious And/or Absurd National Disasters.

When A Man Who Looks Like Yoda Hands You A Prophecy, You Have To Respond.

Mostly You Meet Friends When Traveling By Accident, Like By Sitting Next To Them On The Train, Or In A Restaurant, Or In A Holding Cell.

Do You Think There's Any Way Humans Can Love Each Other Without Complication?

We Live In This Society Where You Must Constantly Be Reinventing Yourself. The Big Question Is What Are You Doing Next. The Only Thing They Want Is Composed Of These Three Elements: They Want You To Do It The Exact Same Way Because They Want More Of It; But They Want It To Be Totally Different; And They Want It To Be Better. That's All You Have To Do. You Just Have To Do Something That's Exactly The Same, Totally Different, And Better.

There Is Hardly A More Gracious Gift That We Can Offer Somebody Than To Accept Them Fully, To Love Them Almost Despite Themselves.

[my Friend And I] Decided, We'll Go To Corsicana, And We'll See What The People In Corsicana Say. ... We Just Started Meeting People And Talking To Them, And The More I Heard The Stories, The More Red Flags Kept Popping Up. There Was This Disconnect Between This Person [todd Willingham] That I'm Reading In The Court Records, The Prosecutor's Statements, And This Person That I'm Learning About.

There Is So Much About My Fate That I Cannot Control, But Other Things Do Fall Under My Jurisdiction. There Are Certain Lottery Tickets I Can Buy, Thereby Increasing My Odds Of Finding Contentment. I Can Decide How I Spend My Time, Whom I Interact With, Whom I Share My Body And Life And Money And Energy With.

A True Soul Mate Is A Mirror, The Person Who Shows You Everything That Is Holding You Back, The Person Who Brings You To Your Own Attention So You Can Change Your Life.

Given That Life Is So Short, Do I Really Want To Spend One-ninetieth Of My Remaining Days On Earth Reading Edward Gibbon?

Destiny, I Feel, Is Also A Relationship - A Play Between Divine Grace And Willful Self-effort.

In Every Possible Instance Saint Paul Begged Christians To Restrain Themselves To Contain Their Carnal Yearnings To Live Solitary And Sexless Lives On Earth As It Is In Heaven. "but If They Cannot Contain " Paul Finally Conceded Then "let Them Marry For It Is Better To Marry Than To Burn." Which Is Perhaps The Most Begrudging Endorsement Of Matrimony In Human History.

For The Entire Decade Of My 30s And The Early Part Of My 40s, I Didn't Write A Word Of Fiction. I Just Left Behind A Dream Of My Life.

You Can Butcher The Sheep Only Once. But If You Are Careful, You Can Shear The Sheep Every Year.

Devotion Is Diligence Without Assurance. If Faith Were Rational, It Wouldn't Be By Definition Faith. Faith Is Walking Face-first And Full Speed Into The Dark.

But At Some Point You Have To Make Peace With What You Were Given And If God Wanted Me To Be A Shy Girl With Think, Dark Hair, He Would Have Made Me That Way, But He Didn't. Useful, Then, Might Be To Accept How I Was Made And Embody Myself Fully Therein.

In The End, Though, Maybe We Must All Give Up Trying To Pay Back The People In This World Who Sustain Our Lives. In The End, Maybe It's Wiser To Surrender Before The Miraculous Scope Of Human Generosity And To Just Keep Saying Thank You, Forever And Sincerely, For As Long As We Have Voices.

The Fantasy Of The Wedding Day Is That It Represents Undeniable Public And Private Truth That You Have Been Chosen. For That One Day, You Are The Most Valuable Creature In The World - A Treasure, A Princess, A Prize.

I Don't Hate Humanity And I'm Not Interested In People Who Do. Although, It's Funny, Actually, Some Of My Favorite Writers Really Do. Like Martin Amis. My Dirty Secret. 'london Fields' Is One Of My Favorite Books Ever. And It's Indefensible! But He's So Funny... I Forgive Him Everything.

Every Day When You Wake Up, Ask Yourself, 'what Do I Really, Really, Really Want? ' You Have To Say Really, Really, Really, Otherwise You Won't Believe It.

I've Been Screwed And Sued And Tattooed, And I'm Still Standin' Here In Front Of You.

Marriage Is - Among Other Things - A Study In Contradiction And Disappointment, And Inside That Reality There Is Space For Us To Truly Learn How To Love.

I Crossed The Street To Walk In The Sunshine.

I Think It's Wonderful When A Love Story Begins With A Great Deal Of Romance And Affection, Passion And Excitement, That's How It Should Be. But I Don't Necessarily Know That It's The Wisest Thing In The World To Expect That It Ends There, Or That It Should, 30 Years Down The Road, Still Look As It Did On The Night Of Your First Kiss.

The Inability To Open Up To Hope Is What Blocks Trust, And Blocked Trust Is The Reason For Blighted Dreams.

I Remember Asking Myself One Night, While I Was Curled Up In The Same Old Corner Of My Same Old Couch In Tears Yet Again Over The Same Old Repetition Of Sorrowful Thoughts, 'is There Anything About This Scene You Can Change, Liz?' And All I Could Think To Do Was Stand Up, Whle Still Sobbing, And Try To Balance On One Foot In The Middle Of The Living Room. Just To Prove That - While I Couldn't Stop The Tears Or Change My Dismal Interior Dialogue - I Was Not Yet Totally Out Of Control: At Least I Could Cry Hysterically While Balanced On One Foot.

It's Easy Enough To Pray When You're In Distress But Continuing To Pray Even When Your Crisis Has Passed Is Like A Sealing Process, Helping Your Soul Hold Tight To Its Good Attainment.

I Love My Friends And Family, But I Also Love It When They Can't Find Me And I Can Spend All Day Reading Or Walking All Alone, In Silence, Eight Thousand Miles Away From Everyone. All Alone And Unreachable In A Foreign Country Is One My Most Favorite Possible Things To Be.

I Share It Here Because Something Was About To Occur On That Bathroom Floor That Would Change Forever The Progression Of My Life..what Happened Was That I Started To Pray.

To Sit Patiently With A Yearning That Has Not Yet Been Fulfilled, And To Trust That, That Fulfillment Will Come, Is Quite Possibly One Of The Most Powerful "magic Skills" That Human Beings Are Capable Of. It Has Been Noted By Almost Every Ancient Wisdom Tradition

I'm Still Aspiring To Be A Better And Better Person, But I Think That Disappointments Have Made Me Gentler With Other People And Their Disappointments, The Stuff That They Have To Carry Around And Endure.

The Great Lack Of Parity Between Husbands And Wives Has Always Been Spawned By The Disproportionate Degree Of Self-sacrifice That Women Are Willing To Make On Behalf Of Those They Love.

Even In The Worst Tragedies And Crisis, There’s No Reason To Add To Everyone’s Misery By Looking Miserable Yourself.

This Was My Moment To Look For The Kind Of Healing And Peace That Can Only Come From Solitude.

Creativity Does Not Belong Exclusively To Professional Artists And Geniuses; It Is The Birthright Of Every Single Human Being. Creativity Is Our Common Heritage. You Don’t Need To Quit Your Job And Move To Paris In Order To Lay Claim To This Heritage - All You Have To Do Is Clear Some Space In Your Life For Whimsy, Invention, Sensory Pleasure, And Play. Most Of All, You Have To Learn How To Follow Your Curiosity More Than Your Fear.

I Said, "it Seems Like You Have Fond Feelings Toward Your Ex-wife. Are You Two Still Close?" "nah," He Said Casually. "she Thinks I Changed My Name To Motherfucker."

And Then, In That Regal Silence, Finally - I Began To Meditate On (and With) God.

Prayer Is A Relationship; Half The Job Is Mine. If I Want Transformation, But Can't Even Be Bothered To Articulate What, Exactly, I'm Aiming For, How Will It Ever Occur? Half The Benefit Of Prayer Is In The Asking Itself, In The Offering Of A Clearly Posed And Well-considered Intention. If You Don't Have This, All Your Pleas And Desires Are Boneless, Floppy, Inert; They Swirl At Your Feet In A Cold Fog And Never Lift.

Here's The Thing: The Unit Of Reverence In Europe Is The Family, Which Is Why A Child Born Today Of Unmarried Parents In Sweden Has A Better Chance Of Growing Up In A House With Both Of His Parents Than A Child Born To A Married Couple In America. Here We Revere The Couple, There They Revere The Family.

But, Ancient Greece And Ancient Rome - People Did Not Happen To Believe That Creativity Came From Human Beings Back Then, Ok? People Believed That Creativity Was This Divine Attendant Spirit That Came To Human Beings From Some Distant And Unknowable Source, For Distant And Unknowable Reasons.

Marriage Is An Ongoing, Centuries-long Social Experiment That Is Mostly Controlled By The Individuals In The Relationships Who Insist On Determining What The Relationship Terms Are Going To Be. And That's Why The Terms Of Marriage Change With Every Century And Decade. We're Shaping It From The Inside. Marriage Endures Because It Evolves. Obviously It Does. None Of Us Would Accept Marriage On Its 13th Century Terms, Not Even The Most Conservative People...

There Are Times When The Only Access I Have To The Truest Person That I Am Is When I'm Alone And Trying To Solve A Sentence. It's Exciting, Even When It's Frustrating, Even When I Can't Do It Right.

I Have Far More Enthusiasm In Life Than I Have Actual Energy. In My Excitement, I Routinely Take On More That I Can Physically Or Emotionally Handle, Which Causes Me To Break Down In Quite Predictable Displays Of Dramatic Exhaustion. You Will Be The One Burdened With The Job Of Mopping Me Up Every Time I've Overextended Myself And Then Fallen Apart. This Will Be Unbelievably Tedious. I Apologize In Advance.

When The Karma Of A Relationship Is Done, Only Love Remains. It's Safe. Let Go.

I Want God To Play In My Bloodstream The Way Sunlight Amuses Itself On The Water.

It Is Merely This World That Is Chaotic, Bringing Changes To Us All That Nobody Could Have Anticipated.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving. I Didn't Want To Destroy Anything Or Anybody. I Just Wanted To Slip Quietly Out The Back Door, Without Causing Any Fuss Or Consequences, And Then Not Stop Running Until I Reached Greenland.

I Thought About One Of My Favorite Sufi Poems, Which Says That God Long Ago Drew A Circle In The Sand Exactly Around The Spot Where You Are Standing Right Now. I Was Never Not Coming Here. This Was Never Not Going To Happen.

If I Were Going To Have Such A Short Visit On Earth, I Had To Do Everything Possible To Experience It Now.

Moss Grows Where Nothing Else Can Grow. It Grows On Bricks. It Grows On Tree Bark And Roofing Slate. It Grows In The Arctic Circle And In The Balmiest Tropics; It Also Grows On The Fur Of Sloths, On The Backs Of Snails, On Decaying Human Bones. ... It Is A Resurrection Engine. A Single Clump Of Mosses Can Lie Dormant And Dry For Forty Years At A Stretch, And Then Vault Back Again Into Life With A Mere Soaking Of Water.

For Most Of Western Civilization There Was No Real Division Between The Realms Of Science, Divinity, And Artistic Endeavor - They Were Just Three Strands Of The Same Braid, All Of Them Pulling Toward The Same Beautiful Desire: To Try To Understand The Workings Of This Curious And Beautiful World. There Were Many People Who Would Have Called Themselves All Three Things At Once: Men Of God, Men Of Science, Men Of The Arts.

Felipe And I, As We Discover To Our Delight, Are A Perfectly Matched, Genetically Engineered Belly-to-belly Success Story.

I'm Afraid Many Women Do Choose The Wedding Over The Marriage. It Seems A Steep Price To Pay, But It Comes From A Place Of Deep, Sad Longing To Be Loved And To Have It Proven That You Are Of Value.

Everything Really Is Going To Be Okay. (and If Not Okay, Then At Least Comic.)

In The Modern Industrialized Western World, Where I Come From, The Person Whom You Choose To Marry Is Perhaps The Single Most Vivid Representation Of Your Own Personality. Your Spouse Becomes The Most Gleaming Possible Mirror Through Which Your Emotional Individualism Is Reflected Back To The World. There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

I Am Alone, I Am All Alone, I Am Completely Alone. Grasping This Reality, I Let Go Of My Bag, Drop To My Knees And Press My Forehead Against The Floor. There, I Offer Up To The Universe A Fervent Prayer Of Thanks. First In English. Then In Italian. And Then - Just To Get The Point Across - In Sanskrit.

By Unnerving Definition, Anything That The Heart Has Chosen For Its Own Mysterious Reasons It Can Always Unchoose Later—again, For Its Own Mysterious Reasons.

Every Try To Take A Toy Away From A Toddler? They Don't Like That, Do They? They Start Kicking And Screaming. Best Way To Take A Toy Away From A Toddler Is Distract The Kid, Give Him Something Else To Play With. Instead Of Trying To Forcefully Take Thoughts Out Of Your Mind, Give Your Mind Something Better To Play With.

That's Your Friend. My Husband Is My Best Friend. He's Not The Mirror That Holds Up My Flaws. He's Just The Guy Who's Like, 'i Think You're Terrific'... It's Just Simple, Showing Up For Each Other.

It Has Never Been Easy For Me To Understand Why People Work So Hard To Create Something Beautiful, But Then Refuse To Share It With Anyone, For Fear Of Criticism.

Until-as Often Happened During Those First Months Travel, Whenever I Would Feel Such Happiness-my Guilt Alarm Went Off. I Heard My Ex-husband's Voice Speaking Disdainfully In My Ear: So This Is What You Gave Up Everything For? This Is Why You Gutted Our Entire Life Together? For A Few Stalks Of Asparagus And An Italian Newspaper? I Replied Aloud To Him: "first Of All," I Said, "i'm Very Sorry, But This Isn't Your Business Anymore. And Secondly, To Answer You Question...yes.

The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer

Admittedly, I Am Not The One Who Looks Fantastic In Everything, But Still I Cannot Help Loving Myself.

We Alter And Customize The Thing Every Century, Every Generation, Every Day - Both In The Courts And In Our Own Homes. And Marriage Accepts Our Modifications Gracefully. Marriage Adapts, Evolves And (in A Manner That I Find Miraculous And Kind Of Inspiring) Somehow Keeps Chugging Along.

I Want To Explore The Art Of Pleasure In Italy, The Art Of Devotion In India And, In Indonesia, The Art Of Balancing The Two. It Was Only Later, After Admitting This Dream, That I Noticed The Happy Coincidence That All These Countries Begin With The Letter I. A Fairly Auspicious Sign, It Seemed, On A Voyage Of Self-discovery.

Dear Me, How I Love A Library.

If We Never Leave Our House Except To Drive To Work, Do We Need To Be Even Remotely Aware Of This Powerful, Humbling, Extraordinary And Eternal Life Force That Surges And Ebbs Around Us All The Time? Apparently Not. Because We Have Stopped Paying Attention.

Let Me Ask You Something, In All The Years That You Have Undressed In Front Of A Gentleman Has He Ever Asked You To Leave? Has He Ever Walked Out And Left? No? It’s Because He Doesn’t Care! He’s In A Room With A Naked Girl, He Just Won The Lottery

I'm Not A Big Austen Reader. I Wouldn't Say I Dislike Her, But If I Had To Choose Between Her And Eliot To Bring To A Desert Island, It Would Definitely Be Eliot.

Modern Marriage Is First And Foremost A Romantic And Private Union, But The Tax Laws And Inheritance Laws And Religious Implications That Still Surround This Institution Indicate That Marriage Has Evolved Without Casting Away Its Earlier Purposes Or Assumptions. It's Like We Just Keep Building On This Thing, Piling New Advancements On The Old Model.

Where Did You Get The Idea You Aren't Allowed To Petition The Universe With Prayer? You Are Part Of This Universe, Liz. You're A Constituent--you Have Every Entitlement To Participate In The Actions Of The Universe, And To Let Your Feelings Be Known. So, Put Your Opinion Out There. Make Your Case. Believe Me--it Will At Least Be Taken Into Consideration.

You Know, I Think That Allowing Somebody, One Mere Person To Believe That He Or She Is Like, The Vessel You Know, Like The Font And The Essence And The Source Of All Divine, Creative, Unknowable, Eternal Mystery Is Just A Smidge Too Much Responsibility To Put On One Fragile, Human Psyche. It's Like Asking Somebody To Swallow The Sun.

I'm So Excited About School. I'm Such A Shameless Student. I Laid My Clothes Out Last Night, Just Like I Did Before My First Day Of First Grade, With My Patent Leather Shoes And My New Lunch Box. I Hope The Teacher Will Like Me :)

Then My Mother Shocked Me. She Said, " All Those Things That You Want From Your Relationship, Liz? I Have Always Wanted Those Things Too." [she] Showed Me The Handful Of Bullets She'd Had To Bite Over The Decades In Order To Stay Happily Married (and She Was Happily Married...) To My Father. "you Have To Understand How Little I Was Raised To Expect That I Desired In Life, Honey. Remember- I Come From A Different Time And Place... And You Have To Understand How Much I Love Your Father.

A True Soul Mate Is Probably The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet, Because They Tear Down Your Walls And Smack You Awake. But To Live With A Soul Mate Forever? Nah. Too Painful. Soul Mates, They Come Into Your Life Just To Reveal Another Layer Of Yourself To You, And Then Leave.

I Have Searched Frantically For Contentment For So Many Years In So Many Ways, And All The Acquisitions And Accomplishments- They Run You Down In The End.

There's This Great Kind Of Spooky Dance That Happens That I Can't Access Any Other Way. I Think Most Of Us Are Given Kind Of One Pathway To That Dance, And That's Why I'm A Writer. It's The Only Way I Can Get There. I Can't Do It Through Art, I Can't Do It Through Singing, I Can't Do It Through Mothering, I Can't Do It Through Invention.

Marriage Is Those Two Thousand Indistinguishable Conversations, Chatted Over Two Thousand Indistuinguishable Breakfasts, Where Intimacy Turns Like A Slow Wheel. How Do You Measure The Worth Of Becoming That Familiar To Somebody—so Utterly Well Known And So Thoroughly Ever-present That You Become An Almost Invisible Necessity, Like Air?

Nothing Is Less Efficient Than Perfectionism.

Americans Have An Inability To Relax Into Sheer Pleasure.ours Is An Entertainment Seeking-nation, But Not Necessarily A Pleasure-seeking One....this Is The Cause Of That Great Sad American Stereotype- The Overstressed Executive Who Goes On Vacation, But Who Cannot Relax.

Pleasure Seeking

Also, I Could Finally Sleep. And This Was The Real Gift, Because When You Cannot Sleep, You Cannot Get Yourself Out Of The Ditch--there's Not A Chance.

I'm Trying To Dismantle A Stereotype That In Order To Live Any Kind Of Creative Life, You Have To Be In Torment And Suffering. We're Addicted To This Idea Because It Makes For Good Bio Pics... But I Actually Think It's Better To Live A Life Where You're Constantly Exploring Your Curiosity And Creativity.

Embrace The Glorious Mess That You Are

Liz, You Must Be Very Polite With Yourself When You Are Learning Something New.

Learning Something New

Men Go Into Marriage With Virtually No Expectations Whatsoever. Ten Years Later, The Men Are Delightfully Surprised To Find Out That It's Actually Kind Of Nice, And The Women Have Sort Of Had To Take A Nose Dive From What They Thought It Was Going To Be.

[saint Anthony] Said, In His Solitude, He Sometimes Encountered Devils Who Looked Like Angels, And Other Times He Found Angels Who Looked Like Devils. When Asked How He Could Tell The Difference, The Saint Said That You Can Only Tell Which Is Which By The Way You Feel After The Creature Has Left Your Company.

But Why Must Everything Have A Practical Application? I'd Been Such A Diligent Soldier For Years - Working, Producing, Never Missing A Deadline, Taking Care Of My Loved Ones, My Gums And My Credit Record, Voting, Etc. Is This Lifetime Supposed To Be Only About Duty? In This Dark Period Of Loss, Did I Need Any Justification For Learning Italian Other Than That It Was The Only Thing I Could Imagine Bringing Me Any Pleasure Right Now?

If Todd [willingham] Was Guilty Of Anything, It Was Just His Self-preservation. He Got Up And Ran Out Of The House And Then Thought About The Children After The Fact.

The Appreciation Of Pleasure Can Be The Anchor Of Humanity.

Too Many Maniacs Not Enough Michelangelos

Keep Showing Up For Your Side Of The Job And Give Genius A Chance To Do Its Part.

I Don't Think You Can Come Into Your Wisdom Until You Have Made Mistakes On Your Own Skin And Felt Them In Reality Of Your Own Life.

I Felt Like I Was Some Kind Of Primitive Spring-loaded Machine, Placed Under Far More Tension Than It Had Ever Been Built To Sustain, About To Blast Apart At Great Danger To Anyone Standing Nearby. I Imagined My Body Parts Flying Off My Torso In Order To Escape The Volcanic Core Of Unhappiness That Had Become: Me.

I Worked At The Original Coyote Ugly Bar When I Was A Young, Unpublished Writer. Then Later When I Became A Writer, I Wrote An Article About It For Gq. Disney Read This Article About This Filthy, Disgusting Pit In The East Village [of New York City], Where We Used To Set The Bar On Fire To Get Customers Away From Us, And Said, "that's A Great Movie For Kids!" They Made The Fantastic Coyote Ugly Movie, Now Legendary.

If I Am To Truly Become An Autonomous Woman, Then I Must Take Over That Role Of Being My Own Guardian.

A Creative Life Is An Amplified Life. It's A Bigger Life, A Happier Life, An Expanded Life, And A Hell Of A Lot More Interesting Life. Living In This Manner-continually And Stubbornly Bringing Forth The Jewels That Are Hidden Within You-is A Fine Art, In And Of Itself.

Of Course, We All Inevitably Work Too Hard, Then We Get Burned Out And Have To Spend The Whole Weekend In Our Pajamas, Eating Cereal Straight Out Of The Box And Staring At The Tv In A Mild Coma (which Is The Opposite Of Working, Yes, But Not Exactly The Same Thing As Pleasure).

Don't Be Daunted. Just Do Your Job. Continue To Show Up For Your Piece Of It, Whatever That Might Be. If Your Job Is To Dance, Do Your Dance. If The Divine, Cockeyed Genius Assigned To Your Case Decides To Let Some Sort Of Wonderment Be Glimpsed, For Just One Moment Through Your Efforts, Then 'ole!' And If Not, Do Your Dance Anyhow. And 'ole!' To You, Nonetheless. I Believe This And I Feel That We Must Teach It. 'ole!' To You, Nonetheless, Just For Having The Sheer Human Love And Stubbornness To Keep Showing Up.

In A World Of Disorder And Disaster And Fraud, Sometimes Only Beauty Can Be Trusted.

Go Back To Bed', Said The Omniscient Interior Voice, Because You Don't Need To Know The Final Answer Right Now, At Three O'clock In The Morning On The Thursday In November. 'go Back To Bed', Because I Love You. 'go Back To Bed', Beacause The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer.

What A Large Number Of Factors Constitute A Single Human Being! How Very Many Layers We Operate On, And How Very Many Influences We Receive From Our Minds, Our Bodies, Our Histories, Our Families, Our Cities, Our Souls And Our Lunches!

I Will Tell You Why We Have These Extraordinary Minds And Souls, Miss Whittaker," He Continued, As Though He Had Not Heard Her. "we Have Them Because There Is A Supreme Intelligence In The Universe, Which Wishes For Communion With Us. This Supreme Intelligence Longs To Be Known. It Calls Out To Us. It Draws Us Close To Its Mystery, And Grants Us These Remarkable Minds, In Order That We Try To Reach For It. It Wants Us To Find It. It Wants Union With Us, More Than Anything.

This Is What Rituals Are For. We Do Spiritual Ceremonies As Human Beings In Order To Create A Safe Resting Place For Our Most Complicated Feelings Of Joy Or Trauma, So That We Don't Have To Haul Those Feelings Around With Us Forever, Weighing Us Down.

True Wisdom Gives The Only Possible Answer At Any Given Moment, And That Night, Going Back To Bed Was The Only Possible Answer.

So Miss Him. Send Him Some Love And Light Every Time You Think About Him, Then Drop It.

The Day Is Ending. It's Time For Something That Was Beautiful To Turn Into Something Else That Is Beautiful. Now, Let Go.

Eat Pray And Love

A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

The Sound Universe Is Also Spectacular Around Here. In The Evenings There's A Cricket Orchestra With Frogs Providing The Bass Line. In The Dead Of Night The Dogs Howl About How Misunderstood They Are. Before Dawn The Roosters For Miles Around Announce How Freaking Cool It Is To Be Roosters.

I Completely Respect The Ways People Are Bound In The Lives That They Have, Whether It's Because Of Forces Outside Of Their Control Or Choices That They've Made That They Want To Honor With Their Own Responsibilities And Obligations - Taking Care Of People Around Them Or Being A Part Of A Community, Or Their Work.

Guilt's Just Your Ego's Way Of Tricking You Into Thinking That You're Making Moral Progress. Don't Fall For It, My Dear.

When I Look At My Life And The Lives Of My Female Friends These Days - With Our Dizzying Number Of Opportunities And Talents - I Sometimes Feel As Though We Are All Mice In A Giant Experimental Maze, Scurrying Around Frantically, Trying To Find Our Way Through.

In 1954, Pope Pius Xi, Of All People, Sent Some Vatican Delegates On A Trip To Libya With These Written Instructions: "do Not Think That You Are Going Among Infidels. Muslims Attain Salvation, Too. The Ways Of Providence Are Infinite.

I Think Sometimes We Look At Other People's Marriages And We Think They Must Always Be So Happy Together. I Don't Know Anybody Who's Married For A Long Time Who Hasn't Somehow Made Room In Their Love Story For The Hate And Resentment That They Sometimes Feel Toward Each Other.

The Six Elements Of Her Fail Proof Broken-heart Curing Treatment: "vitamin E, Get Much Sleep, Drink Much Water, Travel To A Place Far Away From The Person You Loved, Meditate And Teach Your Heart That This Is Destiny.

You Make Some Big Grandoise Decision About What You Need To Do, Or Who You Need To Be, And Then Circumstances Arise That Immediately Reveal To You How Little You Understood About Yourself.

When I Lost My Friends, It Was Because I Had Used The Power Of Giving On Them Recklessly. I Swept Into Their Lives With My Big Fat Checkbook, And I Erased Years Of Obstacles For Them Overnight - But Sometimes, In The Process, I Also Accidentally Erased Years Of Dignity.

The Ingredients Of Both Darkness And Light Are Equally Present In All Of Us,...the Madness Of This Planet Is Largely A Result Of The Human Being's Difficulty In Coming To Viruous Balance With Himself.

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