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[my Friend And I] Decided, We'll Go To Corsicana, And We'll See What The People In Corsicana Say. ... We Just Started Meeting People And Talking To Them, And The More I Heard The Stories, The More Red Flags Kept Popping Up. There Was This Disconnect Between This Person [todd Willingham] That I'm Reading In The Court Records, The Prosecutor's Statements, And This Person That I'm Learning About.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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[my Friend And I]

Elizabeth Gilbert

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[my Friend And I] Decided, We'll Go To Corsicana, And We'll See What The People In Corsicana Say. ... We Just Started Meeting People And Talking To Them, And The More I Heard The Stories, The More Red Flags Kept Popping Up. There Was This Disconnect Between This Person [todd Willingham] That I'm Reading In The Court Records, The Prosecutor's Statements, And This Person That I'm Learning About.

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I Tried To Reassure Him With Every Line About How The World Is Hard And Unfair Sometimes, But That It's All Ok Because He Is So Loved. He Is Surrounded By Souls Who Would Do Anything To Help Him. And Not Only That--he Has Wisdom And Patience Of His Own, Buried Deep Inside His Being, Which Will Only Reveal Themselves Over Time And Will Always Carry Him Through Any Trial. He Is A Gift From God To All Of Us.

The Augusteum Warns Me Not To Get Attached To Any Obsolete Ideas About Who I Am, What I Represent, Whom I Belong To, Or What Function I May Once Have Intended To Serve.

And We Have A Little Herb Garden, Which Survived The Winter Thanks To Global Warming. It Makes Me Feel Like A Cool, Old Italian Housewife, That I Kept My Rosemary Alive Outside All Winter.

You Are Here And You Are Allowed To Be Here And Therefore You Are Allowed To Make Decisions About Yourself And The People In Your Life; Rather Than Sort Of Backing Up And Making Sure It's Okay With Everybody At Every Turn.

You Never Know How A Good Quest Is Going To End.

I Should Just Put It Bluntly, Because We're All Sort Of Friends Here Now - It's Exceedingly Likely That My Greatest Success Is Behind Me. Oh, So Jesus, What A Thought! You Know That's The Kind Of Thought That Could Lead A Person To Start Drinking Gin At Nine O'clock In The Morning, And I Don't Want To Go There.

We're Miserable Because We Think That We Are Mere Individuals, Alone With Our Fears And Flaws And Resentment And Mortality.

The Nineteenth Century Was The Last Moment In History When A Relatively Educated Layperson Could Follow What Was Going On In The World Of Science And Invention To A Wide Degree. Also, There Were No "professionals". This Was A Time When Amateur Explorers, Naturalists And Enthusiasts Were Are Still Making Major Contributions To Progress.

If We Never Leave Our House Except To Drive To Work, Do We Need To Be Even Remotely Aware Of This Powerful, Humbling, Extraordinary And Eternal Life Force That Surges And Ebbs Around Us All The Time? Apparently Not. Because We Have Stopped Paying Attention.

Nothing Is Less Efficient Than Perfectionism.

Given That Life Is So Short, Do I Really Want To Spend One-ninetieth Of My Remaining Days On Earth Reading Edward Gibbon?

It Is Merely This World That Is Chaotic, Bringing Changes To Us All That Nobody Could Have Anticipated.

The Culture Of Rome Just Doesn't Match The Culture Of Yoga, Not As Far As I Can See. In Fact, I've Decided That Rome And Yoga Don't Have Anything In Common At All. Except For The Way They Both Kind Of Remind You Of The Word Toga.

A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

Time -- When Pursued Like A Bandit -- Will Behave Like One; Always Remaining One Country Or One Room Ahead Of You, Changing Its Name And Hair Color To Elude You, Slipping Ou The Back Door Of The Motel Just As You're Banging Through The Lobby With Your Newest Search Warrant, Leaving Only A Burning Cigarette In The Ashtray To Taunt You.

I'm Afraid Many Women Do Choose The Wedding Over The Marriage. It Seems A Steep Price To Pay, But It Comes From A Place Of Deep, Sad Longing To Be Loved And To Have It Proven That You Are Of Value.

You Have No Idea How Strong My Love Is!

Please Go To This Pizzeria. Order The Margherita Pizza With Double Mozzarella. If You Do Not Eat This Pizza When You Are In Naples, Please Lie To Me And Tell Me That You Did.

I Don't Think You Can Come Into Your Wisdom Until You Have Made Mistakes On Your Own Skin And Felt Them In Reality Of Your Own Life.

If Todd [willingham] Was Guilty Of Anything, It Was Just His Self-preservation. He Got Up And Ran Out Of The House And Then Thought About The Children After The Fact.

Big Deal. So You Fell In Love With Someone. Don’t You See What Happened? This Guy Touched A Place In Your Heart Deeper Than You Thought You Were Capable Of Reaching, I Mean You Got Zapped, Kiddo. But That Love You Felt, That’s Just The Beginning. You Just Got A Taste Of Love. That’s Just Limited Little Rinky-dink Mortal Love. Wait Till You See How Much More Deeply You Can Love Than That. Heck, Groceries—you Have The Capacity To Someday Love The Whole World. It’s Your Destiny. Don’t Laugh.

I Think It's Unfortunate That There Exists Only One Path In America To Complete Social Legitimacy, And That Is Marriage. I Think, For Instance, That It Would Be Far Easier For Americans To Elect A Black President Or A Female President Than An Unmarried President.

Virginia Woolf Wrote, "across The Broad Continent Of A Woman's Life Falls The Shadow Of A Sword." On One Side Of That Sword, She Said, There Lies Convention And Tradition And Order, Where All Is Correct. But On The Other Side Of That Sword, If You're Crazy Enough To Cross It And Choose A Life That Does Not Follow Convention, "all Is Confusion." Nothing Follows A Regular Course. Her Argument Was That The Crossing Of The Shadow Of That Sword May Bring A More Interesting Existence To A Woman, But You Can Bet It Will Be More Perilous.

What Time Has Ever Been A Simple Time For Those Who Are Living It?

It's Easy Enough To Pray When You're In Distress But Continuing To Pray Even When Your Crisis Has Passed Is Like A Sealing Process, Helping Your Soul Hold Tight To Its Good Attainment.

I Spent A Week Living As A Man. Which Was Actually, I'm Sorry To Say, Embarrassingly Easy For Me To Do.

A Woman's Place Is In The Kitchen...sitting In A Comfortable Chair, With Her Feet Up, Drinking A Glass Of Wine And Watching Her Husband Cook Dinner.

Despite Having Written Five Books, I Worry That I Have Not Written The Right Kinds Of Books, Or That Perhaps I Have Dedicated Too Much Of My Life To Writing, And Have Therefore Neglected Other Aspects Of My Being.

The Bhagavad Gita—that Ancient Indian Yogic Text—says That It Is Better To Live Your Own Destiny Imperfectly Than To Live An Imitation Of Somebody Else’s Life With Perfection. So Now I Have Started Living My Own Life. Imperfect And Clumsy As It May Look, It Is Resembling Me Now, Thoroughly.

I Have No Nostalgia For The Patriarchy, Please Believe Me. But What I Have Come To Realize Is That, When That Patriarchic System Was (rightfully) Dismantled, It Was Not Necessarily Replaced By Another Form Of Protection. What I Mean Is--i Never Thought To Ask A Suitor The Same Challenging Questions My Father Might Have Asked Him, In A Different Age.

I Think You Have Every Right To Cherry-pick When It Comes To Moving Your Spirit And Finding Peace In God. You Take Whatever Works From Wherever You Can Find It, And You Keep Moving Toward The Light.

In Order For Marriage To Endure It Has To Change Along With Us, And It Does That Very Graciously. And In The End I Find There Is Something Kind Of Moving About It: The Fact That People Continue To Insist On Choosing Somebody To Build A Life With.

Eventually, Everything Goes Away.

I Am Alone, I Am All Alone, I Am Completely Alone. Grasping This Reality, I Let Go Of My Bag, Drop To My Knees And Press My Forehead Against The Floor. There, I Offer Up To The Universe A Fervent Prayer Of Thanks. First In English. Then In Italian. And Then - Just To Get The Point Across - In Sanskrit.

This Is A Nice Metaphor, Too, About Mothers And Daughters - That When It Came Time For Me To Make My Own, I Was Making A Completely Different Garden Than The One That My Mom Has. They Don't Look Like They Came From Relatives. Hers Is A Very Productive And Pragmatic Vegetable Garden, And Mine Is A Ridiculous Overabundance Of Useless Plants. It Doesn't Feed Anybody, It Doesn't Serve Any Purpose.

You Have Now Reached Infatuation’s Final Destination—the Complete And Merciless Devaluation Of Self.

How Much Do You Love Me?' And "who's In Charge?" ....these Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering. People Follow Different Paths, Straight Or Crooked, According To Their Temperament, Depending On Which They Consider Best, Or Most Appropriate -- And All Reach You, Just As Rivers Enter The Ocean.

Who Loves You Most? Who Loves You Best? Who Thinks Of You When Others Rest?

If Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Settle For Simply Making Lemonade - Make A Glorious Scene At A Lemonade Stand.

Teach Your Heart That This Is Destiny

There Are Always Two Figures In A Marriage, Two Votes, Two Conflicting Sets Of Decisions, Desires And Limitations.

I Know This Simple Fact To Be True, For I Myself Have Abandoned People Who Did Not Want Me To Go, And I Myself Have Been Abandoned By Those Whom I Begged To Stay.

I Can See How The Authorities Could Not Like Todd [ Willingham], Because He's Not A Person Who Is Going To Give You Respect If You Don't Deserve It Just Because You Say Something.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving. I Didn't Want To Destroy Anything Or Anybody. I Just Wanted To Slip Quietly Out The Back Door, Without Causing Any Fuss Or Consequences, And Then Not Stop Running Until I Reached Greenland.

In The Modern Industrialized Western World, Where I Come From, The Person Whom You Choose To Marry Is Perhaps The Single Most Vivid Representation Of Your Own Personality. Your Spouse Becomes The Most Gleaming Possible Mirror Through Which Your Emotional Individualism Is Reflected Back To The World. There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

To Lose Balance Sometimes For Love Is Part Of Living A Balanced Life.

You Have The Opposite Of Poker Face. You Have Like.. Miniature Golf Face.

This Was My Voice, But Perfectly Wise, Calm And Compassionate. This Was What My Voice Would Sound Like If I’d Only Ever Experienced Love And Certainty In My Life. How Can I Describe The Warmth Of Affection In That Voice, As It Gave Me The Answer That Would Forever Seal My Faith In The Divine?

I Was Not Rescued By A Prince; I Was The Administrator Of My Own Rescue.

You Know, I Think That Allowing Somebody, One Mere Person To Believe That He Or She Is Like, The Vessel You Know, Like The Font And The Essence And The Source Of All Divine, Creative, Unknowable, Eternal Mystery Is Just A Smidge Too Much Responsibility To Put On One Fragile, Human Psyche. It's Like Asking Somebody To Swallow The Sun.

But He [depression] Just Gives Me That Dark Smile, Settles Into My Favorite Chair, Puts His Feet On My Table And Lights A Cigar, Filling The Place With His Awful Smoke. Loneliness Watches And Sighs, Then Climbs Into My Bed And Pulls The Covers Over Himself, Fully Dressed, Shoes And All. He's Going To Make Me Sleep With Him Again Tonight, I Just Know It.

The Trick At Every Turn Was To Endure The Test Of Living For As Long As Possible. The Odds Of Survival Were Punishingly Slim, For The World Was Naught By A School Of Calamity And An Endless Burning Furnace Of Tribulation. But Those Who Survived The World Shaped It--even As The World, Simultaneously, Shaped Them.

The Day Is Ending. It's Time For Something That Was Beautiful To Turn Into Something Else That Is Beautiful. Now, Let Go.

Eat Pray And Love

Sometimes Out Hearts Are Broken So New Light Can Get In.

I Want To Have A Lasting Experience With God. Sometimes I Feel Like I Understand The Divinity Of This World, But Then I Loose It Because I Get Distracted By My Petty Desires And Fears. I Want To Be With God All The Time. But I Don't Want To Be A Monk, Or Totally Give Up Worldly Pleasures. I Guess What I Want To Learn Is How To Leave In This World And Enjoy Its Delights, But Also Elevate Myself To God.

Devotion Is Diligence Without Assurance. Faith Is A Way Of Saying "yes, I Pre-accept The Terms Of The Universe And I Embrace In Advance What I Am Presently Incapable Of Understanding.

Love Renders All Of Our Plans And All Of Our Hopes A Gamble.

The Idea That A Prisoner Would Confess To A Complete Stranger That He Had Committed A Crime - I Just Didn't Buy That.

Nobody's Really Paying That Much Attention To Your Massive Personal Dramas.

Most Of All, I Can Choose My Thoughts.

Bali Eat Pray Love

God Is An Experience Of Supreme Love.

The Mosquitoes Here Are Big Enough To Rape A Chicken.

Being Content With What You Have Already Is An Art Form That Leads To A Peace That Can’t Be Replaced By Anything Else.

Marriage Is An Ongoing, Centuries-long Social Experiment That Is Mostly Controlled By The Individuals In The Relationships Who Insist On Determining What The Relationship Terms Are Going To Be. And That's Why The Terms Of Marriage Change With Every Century And Decade. We're Shaping It From The Inside. Marriage Endures Because It Evolves. Obviously It Does. None Of Us Would Accept Marriage On Its 13th Century Terms, Not Even The Most Conservative People...

There Are Only Two Questions That Human Beings Have Ever Fought Over, All Through History. 'how Much Do You Love Me?' And, 'who's In Charge?' Everything Else Is Somehow Manageable. But These Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving.

At That Moment Of Realization (that Union With God Is Always Present), That's When God Let Me Go, Let Me Slide Through His Fingers With This Last Compassionate, Unspoken Message: You May Return Here Once You Have Fully Come To Understand That You Are Always Here.

Indeed, When I Came To Italy, I Expected To Encounter A Certain Amount Of Resentment, But Have Received Instead Empathy From Most Italians. In Any Reference To George Bush, People Only Nod To Berlusconi, Saying","we Understand How It Is - We Have One, Too.

Everything Good I've Ever Gotten In Life, I Only Got Because I Gave Something Else Up.

When I Look At My Life And The Lives Of My Female Friends These Days - With Our Dizzying Number Of Opportunities And Talents - I Sometimes Feel As Though We Are All Mice In A Giant Experimental Maze, Scurrying Around Frantically, Trying To Find Our Way Through.

Travel Is Similar To Therapy. You Can Go To The Best Psychologist In The World For Ten Years. If You Don't Feel Like Actively Shifting Anything In Your Life, There Is Nothing That Person Can Do To Change You.

I Have Good Idea, For If You Meet Some Person From Different Religion And He Want To Make Argument About God. My Idea Is, You Listen To Everything This Man Say About God. Never Argue About God With Him. Best Thing To Say Is, 'i Agree With You.' Then You Go Home, Pray What You Want. This Is My Idea For People To Have Peace About Religion.

He Was Still My Romantic Hero And I Was Still His Living Dream

Your Home Is Whatever In This World You Love More Than You Love Yourself. So That Might Be Creativity, Family, Invention, Adventure, Faith, Service, It Might Be Raising Corgies, I Don't Know - Your Home Is That Thing To Which You Can Dedicate Your Energies With Such Singular Devotion That The Ultimate Results Become Inconsequential.

You Can Measure The Happiness Of A Marriage By The Number Of Scars That Each Partner Carries On Their Tongues, Earned From Years Of Biting Back Angry Words.

Your Fear Is The Most Boring Thing About You.

Overcoming Fear

Maturity Brings - Among Other Things - The Ability To Sustain And Survive Enormous Contradictions And Disappointments.

What Profound Reward You Must Glean From Studying The World So Closely....too Many People Turn Away From Small Wonders, I Find. There Is So Much More Potency To Be Found In Detail Than Generalities, But Most Souls Cannot Train Themselves To Sit Still For It.

To Sit Patiently With A Yearning That Has Not Yet Been Fulfilled, And To Trust That, That Fulfillment Will Come, Is Quite Possibly One Of The Most Powerful "magic Skills" That Human Beings Are Capable Of. It Has Been Noted By Almost Every Ancient Wisdom Tradition

The Act Of Quiet Nighttime Talking, Illustrates For Me More Than Anything Else The Curious Alchemy Of Companionship.

It's Not An Accident That Both My Sister And I Are Writers. Our Parents Created An Accidental Petri Dish. My Family Has Great Storytellers, And I Grew Up In A Very Funny, Conversational House And Didn't Have Television. This Small Family Farm Was A Bubble World That Didn't Have Much To Do With Reality.

It's Still Two Human Beings Trying To Get Along, So It's Going To Be Complicated. And Love Is Always Complicated. But Humans Must Try To Love Each Other, Darling. We Must Get Our Hearts Broken Sometimes. This Is A Good Sign, Having A Broken Heart. It Means We Have Tried For Something.

What Richard Is Talking About Is Instead Admitting To The Existence Of Negative Thoughts, Understanding Where They Came From And Why They Arrived, And Then - With Great Forgiveness And Fortitude - Dismissing Them.

I've Always Been Afraid Of Saying No To People Because I Don't Want Them To Be Disappointed And Dislike Me.

That’s The Thing About A Human Life-there’s No Control Group, No Way To Ever Know How Any Of Us Would Have Turned Out If Any Variables Had Been Changed.

A Soul Mates Purpose Is To Shake You Up, Tear Apart Your Ego A Little Bit, Show You Your Obstacles And Addictions, Break Your Heart Open So New Light Can Get In, Make You So Desperate And Out Of Control That You Have To Transform Your Life, Then Introduce You To Your Spiritual Master.

I Do Not Need To Love You To Prove That I Love Myself!!

My Love Affair With (him) Had A Wonderful Element Of Romance To It, Which I Will Always Cherish. But It Was Not An Infatuation, And Here’s How I Can Tell: Because I Did Not Demand That He Become My Great Emancipator Or My Source Of All Life, Nor Did I Immediately Vanish Into That Man’s Chest Cavity Like A Twisted, Unrecognizable, Parasitical Homonculus. During Our Long Period Of Courtship, I Remained Intact Within My Own Personality, And I Allowed Myself To Meet (him) For Who He Was.

With Each Reunion (we) Had To Learn Each Other All Over Again. There Was Always That Nervous Moment At The Airport When I Would Stand There Waiting For Him To Arrive, Wondering, Will I Still Know Him? Will He Still Know Me?

The More Exquisitely And Delightfully You Can Do Nothing, The Higher Your Life's Achievement.

Bali Eat Pray Love

Now, If You Are Like Me - If You Are Like Practically Anybody In America - Then You Probably Hold Some Negative Opinions About The French, Based Upon Movies, Rumors, Recent Headlines, Unfortunate Run-ins With Parisian Waiters, Or... You Know... All That Unpleasantness Surrounding The Vichy Regime.

Marriage Is Not Simply A Romantic Union Between Two People; It's Also A Political And Economic Contract Of The Highest Order.

I Am Stronger Than Depression And I Am Braver Than Loneliness And Nothing Will Ever Exhaust Me.

I Think I Deserve Something Beautiful.

Tis' Better To Live Your Own Life Imperfectly Than To Imitate Someone Else's Perfectly.

Thich Nhat Hanh Has The Ability To Bring Forth The State Of Peace That We Each Inherently Posses Merely By His Presence In A Room-this Is Divine Power.

Admittedly, I Am Not The One Who Looks Fantastic In Everything, But Still I Cannot Help Loving Myself.

We Invented Marriage. Couples Invented Marriage. We Also Invented Divorce,mind You. And We Invented Infidelity,too, As Well As Romantic Misery. In Fact We Invented The Whole Sloppy Mess Of Love And Intimacy And Aversion And Euphoria And Failure. But Most Importantly Of All, Most Subversively Of All, Most Stubbornly Of All, We Invented Privacy.

When We Are Mindful Of Every Nuance Of Our Natural World, We Finally Get The Picture: That We Are Only Given One Dazzling Moment Of Life Here On Earth, And We Must Stand Before That Reality Both Humbled And Elevated, Subject To Every Law Of Our Universe And Grateful For Our Brief But Intrinsic Participation With It.

I Have Had Work Or Ideas Come Through Me From A Source That I Honestly Cannot Identify. And What Is That Thing? And How Are We To Relate To It In A Way That Will Not Make Us Lose Our Minds, But, In Fact, Might Actually Keep Us Sane?

My Career Started Young And I Was Really Ambitious, And Then I Had Success And I Hung Out With People Who Were Much Older. I Think I Might Have Been Temporally Misplaced, So I Thought I Was 40. It Was A Premature Midlife Crisis.

I Thought About One Of My Favorite Sufi Poems, Which Says That God Long Ago Drew A Circle In The Sand Exactly Around The Spot Where You Are Standing Right Now. I Was Never Not Coming Here. This Was Never Not Going To Happen.

I Never Promised The Universe That I Would Write Brilliantly; I Only Promised The Universe That I Would Write.

When The Karma Of A Relationship Is Done, Only Love Remains. It's Safe. Let Go.

Maybe It's Just Me But I Would Suspect That A Man Trying To Impress A Woman Would Be More Likely To Bring Out The Steak - "i Killed This For You, Now I'm Grilling It For You."

I Want To Learn How To Speak Italian. For Years, I'd Wished I Could Speak Italian--a Language I Find More Beautiful Than Roses :)

The Beauty And Variety Of The Natural World Are Merely The Visible Legacies Of Endless War.

Meditation Vs Prayer = Listening Vs Talking

The Six Elements Of Her Fail Proof Broken-heart Curing Treatment: "vitamin E, Get Much Sleep, Drink Much Water, Travel To A Place Far Away From The Person You Loved, Meditate And Teach Your Heart That This Is Destiny.

I Am Burdened With What The Buddhists Call The 'monkey Mind' -- The Thoughts That Swing From Limb To Limb, Stopping Only To Scratch Themselves, Spit And Howl.

I Want God To Play In My Bloodstream The Way Sunlight Amuses Itself On The Water.

You Can Butcher The Sheep Only Once. But If You Are Careful, You Can Shear The Sheep Every Year.

We’re Miserable Because We Think That We Are Mere Individuals, Alone With Our Fears And Flaws And Resentments And Mortality. We Wrongly Believe That Our Limited Little Egos Constitute Our Whole Entire Nature. We Have Failed To Recognize Our Deeper Divine Character.

I'm Still Aspiring To Be A Better And Better Person, But I Think That Disappointments Have Made Me Gentler With Other People And Their Disappointments, The Stuff That They Have To Carry Around And Endure.

Fear Can Have A Voice, But It Doesn't Get A Vote.

Embrace The Glorious Mess That You Are

What If We Just Acknowledged That We Have A Bad Relationship, And We Stuck It Out, Anyway? What If We Admitted That We Make Each Other Nuts, We Fight Constantly And Hardly Ever Have Sex, But We Can't Live Without Each Other, So We Deal With It? And Then We Could Spend Our Lives Together - In Misery, But Happy To Not Be Apart.

Bad Relationship

This Is What Rituals Are For. We Do Spiritual Ceremonies As Human Beings In Order To Create A Safe Resting Place For Our Most Complicated Feelings Of Joy Or Trauma, So That We Don't Have To Haul Those Feelings Around With Us Forever, Weighing Us Down.

Imagine That The Universe Is A Great Spinning Engine. You Want To Stay Near The Core Of The Thing - Right In The Hub Of The Wheel - Not Out At The Edges Where All The Wild Whirling Takes Place, Where You Can Get Frayed And Crazy. The Hub Of Calmness - That's Your Heart. That's Where God Lives Within You. So Stop Looking For Answers In The World. Just Keep Coming Back To That Center And You'll Always Find Peace.

But We Are Not What The Other One Needs, Still He Is Certain That I Will Find Great Love In My Life Someday. He Is Sure Of It. After All, He Says, Beauty Attracts Beauty.

The Little Fishing Boat Anchors Right Off The Shore Of Gili Meno. There Are No Docks Here On This Island. You Have To Roll Up Your Pants, Jump Off The Boat And Wade In Through The Surf On Your Own Power. There's Absolutely No Way To Do This Without Getting Soaking Wet Or Even Banged Up On The Coral, But It's Worth All The Trouble Because The Beach Here Is So Beautiful, So Special

Because I Know Something That You Don't Know. I Know That This Is The Worst Experience Of Your Life, But I Also Know That Someday You'll Move Past It And You'll Be Fine. And Helping Somebody Likej You Through The Worst Experience Of Her Life Is Incredibly Gratifying.

To Find The Balance You Want, This Is What You Must Become. You Must Keep Your Feet Grounded So Firmly On The Earth That It's Like You Have 4 Legs Instead Of 2. That Way, You Can Stay In The World. But You Must Stop Looking At The World Through Your Head. You Must Look Through Your Heart, Instead. That Way, You Will Know God.

What I Object To Is The Hyper-fetishized Wedding Day, The Prioritizing Of Wedding Over Marriage. I Have A Real Problem With Couples Spending Far More Time Discussing The Seating Arrangement Or The Color Of The Bridesmaid's Gowns Than Hashing Out, For Instance, Their Feelings About How They Intend To Handle Questions Of Housework, Child-rearing, Finances And Fidelity For The Next Four Or Five Decades.

Your Emotions Are The Slaves To Your Thoughts, And You Are The Slave To Your Emotions.

When It Seemed Like I Was Going To Really Have To Be There At Todd's [willingham] Execution, I Don't Think I Could Have Done It. I Think I Began To Distance Myself. I Didn't Visit As Often; I Didn't Write As Often. This Was Kind Of After My Conversation With [fire Science Expert] Gerald Hurst. And The [car] Accident Made Sure That I Didn't Have To Go Up There. But I Think He And I Both Shared That.

To Be Prosperous And Happy In Life, Henry, It Is Simple. Pick One Woman, Pick It Well, And Surrender.

Modern Marriage Is First And Foremost A Romantic And Private Union, But The Tax Laws And Inheritance Laws And Religious Implications That Still Surround This Institution Indicate That Marriage Has Evolved Without Casting Away Its Earlier Purposes Or Assumptions. It's Like We Just Keep Building On This Thing, Piling New Advancements On The Old Model.

So Sadness Is A Place?' Giovanni Asked. 'sometimes People Live There For Years,'i Said.

I've Always Thought Of My Writing As A Spiritual Practice. But I Think That Fiction Is The Most Supernatural Kind Of Writing That You Can Do - Because Of The Ways That The Real And The Unreal Weave Together To Create Something That Feels More True Than Anything.

Sometimes Beauty Needs A Bit Of Ignoring, To Properly Come Into Being.

They Say That There Are Three Kinds Of People In The World. There Are People Who Never Learn One Way Or Another Anything; There Are People Who Learn From Their Own Mistakes, Eventually And With Great Pain; And Then There Are The Really Wise People Who Learn From Other People's Mistakes And Spare Themselves The Suffering.

Liz, You Must Be Very Polite With Yourself When You Are Learning Something New.

Learning Something New

Well, I Always Tried To Look Nice And Be Feminine Even In The Worst Tragedies And Crisis, There's No Reason To Add To Everyone's Misery By Looking Miserable Yourself. That's My Philosophy. This Is Why I Always Wore Makeup And Jewelry Into The Jungle-nothing Too Extravagant, But Maybe Just A Nice Gold Bracelet And Some Earrings, A Little Lipstick, Good Perfume. Just Enough To Show That I Still Had My Self-respect.

Most Of Humanity, He Said, Have Eyes That Are So Caked Shut With The Dust Of Deception They Will Never See The Truth, No Matter Who Tries To Help Them.

The Great Sufi Poet And Philosopher Rumi Once Advised His Students To Write Down The Three Things They Most Wanted In Life. If Any Item On The List Clashes With Any Other Item, Rumi Warned, You Are Destined For Unhappiness. Better To Live A Life Of Single-pointed Focus, He Taught. But What About The Benefits Of Living Harmoniously Among Extremes? What If You Could Somehow Create An Expansive Enough Life That You Could Synchronize Seemingly Incongruous Opposites Into A Worldview That Excludes Nothing?

This Is What Intimacy Does To Us Over Time. That's What A Long Marriage Can Do: It Causes Us To Inherit And Trade Each Other's Stories. (p.237)

We Alter And Customize The Thing Every Century, Every Generation, Every Day - Both In The Courts And In Our Own Homes. And Marriage Accepts Our Modifications Gracefully. Marriage Adapts, Evolves And (in A Manner That I Find Miraculous And Kind Of Inspiring) Somehow Keeps Chugging Along.

Why Must Everything Be Repeat And Repeat, Never Finish, Never Resting? You Work So Hard One Day, But The Next Day You Must Only Work Again. You Eat, But The Next Day, You Are Already Hungry. You Find Love, Then Love Goes Away. You Are Born With Nothing, You Work Hard, Then You Die With Nothing. You Are Young, Then You Are Old. No Matter How Hard You Work, You Cannot Stop Getting Old. - Wayan

There's No Reason To Keep A Piece Of Furniture In Your House That Is So Sacred And Rare That You Can't Put Your Feet Up On It And A Dog Can't Jump Up On It. Likewise, A Book That Sits On A Shelf Like A Piece Of Porcelain, Only To Be Admired, Never To Be Read Again, Is A Dead Book.

We Search For Happiness Everywhere, But We Are Like Tolstoy's Fabled Beggar Who Spent His Life Sitting On A Pot Of Gold, Under Him The Whole Time. Your Treasure--your Perfection--is Within You Already. But To Claim It, You Must Leave The Buy Commotion Of The Mind And Abandon The Desires Of The Ego And Enter Into The Silence Of The Heart.

If You Want To Get To The Castle, Groceries, You've Got To Swim The Moat.

It Was Like Time Would Stop, And The Dancer Would Sort Of Step Through Some Kind Of Portal And He Wasn't Doing Anything Different Than He Had Ever Done, 1,000 Nights Before, But Everything Would Align. And All Of A Sudden, He Would No Longer Appear To Be Merely Human. He Would Be Lit From Within, And Lit From Below And All Lit Up On Fire With Divinity. And When This Happened, Back Then, People Knew It For What It Was, You Know, They Called It By It's Name. They Would Put Their Hands Together And They Would Start To Chant, "allah, Allah, Allah, God God, God." That's God, You Know.

What A Large Number Of Factors Constitute A Single Human Being! How Very Many Layers We Operate On, And How Very Many Influences We Receive From Our Minds, Our Bodies, Our Histories, Our Families, Our Cities, Our Souls And Our Lunches!

By Unnerving Definition, Anything That The Heart Has Chosen For Its Own Mysterious Reasons It Can Always Unchoose Later—again, For Its Own Mysterious Reasons.

He Looks At You Like You're Someone He's Never Met Before, Much Less Someone He Once Loved With High Passion. The Irony Is, You Can Hardly Blame Him. I Mean, Check Yourself Out. You're A Pathetic Mess, Unrecognizable Even To Your Own Eyes.

The Thing That I Do Try To Convey Is, Don't Do What I Did - But Ask What I Asked.

Also, I Could Finally Sleep. And This Was The Real Gift, Because When You Cannot Sleep, You Cannot Get Yourself Out Of The Ditch--there's Not A Chance.

It's Not Enough For Me To Just Hear About Something Or Read About Something, I Wanna Know It In My Bones.

We Gallop Through Our Lives Like Circus Performers Balancing On Two Speeding Side-by-side Horses--one Foot Is On The Horse Called "fate," The Other On The Horse Called "free Will." And The Question You Have To Ask Every Day Is--which Horse Is Which? Which Horse Do I Need To Stop Worrying About Because It's Not Under My Control, And Which Do I Need To Steer With Concentrated Effort?

Here's The Thing: The Unit Of Reverence In Europe Is The Family, Which Is Why A Child Born Today Of Unmarried Parents In Sweden Has A Better Chance Of Growing Up In A House With Both Of His Parents Than A Child Born To A Married Couple In America. Here We Revere The Couple, There They Revere The Family.

When You Write A Novel, There’s A Level At Which You Are Much More Revealing About Who You Are Because You’re Less Self-conscious About How You’re Presenting Yourself. You Are Accidentally Leaving Your Dna All Over Everything In A Novel Because It’s All Coming From You.

True Power Comes From Standing In Your Own Truth And Walking Your Own Path.

All I Could Say Was, "i Don't Know What To Do." I Remember Her Taking Me By The Shoulders And Looking Me In The Eye With A Calm Smile And Saying Simply, "tell The Truth, Tell The Truth, Tell The Truth.

Your Home Is That Thing To Which You Can Dedicate Your Energies With Such Singular Devotion That The Ultimate Results Become Inconsequential.

For If There Is One Thing I Have Learned Over The Years About Men, It Is That Feelings Of Powerlessness Do Not Usually Bring Forth Their Finest Qualities.

Every Intimacy Carries Secreted Somewhere Below Its Initial Lovely Surfaces, The Ever-coiled Makings Of Complete Catastrophe.

Returning To Writing Fiction After 13 Years Away From It. Returning To The Rootstock Of My Whole Life As A Writer. It's What I Had Wanted To Be For My Entire Life, Since I Can Remember, Since My Particular Time Immemorial. It's How I Got My Start As A Writer.

Dear Lord, Please Show Me Everything I Need To Understand About Forgiveness And Surrender

When You're Lost In Those Woods, It Sometimes Takes You A While To Realize That You Are Lost.

That Is Who Barack Obama Is - A Person Of Admirable Character - And That Is Who He Has Remained For Me Over These Last Four Years. I Have Not Agreed With His Every Decision, But Never Once Have I Seen Him Break His Cool, Lose His Composure, Or Abandon His Insightful Perspective - Even During The Most Serious And/or Absurd National Disasters.

Change Is All About Motion, Motion Is All About Uncertainty And We Are Deeply Uncomfortable With Uncertainty.

I Feel Like There Are Women Who Are Genuinely Born To Be Mothers, And Women Who Are Born To Be Aunties, And Women Who Really Probably Not Should Be Allowed Near Children. The Tragedy That Happens Is When Any One Of Those Women Ends Up In The Wrong Category.

No Experience In This World Has Ever Been Cathartic Without The Willing Participation Of The Individual. Life Does Not Automatically Bestow Wisdom Or Growth Upon Anyone Just For Showing Up.

Women Have Always Been More Critical Of Marriage Than Men. The Great Mysterious Irony Of It Is - At Least It's The Stereotype - That Women Want To Get Married And Men Are Trying To Avoid It. Marriage Doesn't Benefit Women As Much As Men, And It Never Has. And Women, Once They Are Married, Become Very Critical Of Marriages In A Way That Men Don't.

He Is Only Happy When He Can Maintain Himself - Mentally And Spiritually - At The Intersection Between A Vertical Line And Horizontal One, In A State Of Perfect Balance. For This, He Needs To Know Where He Is Located Every Moment, Both In His Relationship To The Divine And To His Family Here On Earth. If He Loses That Balance, He Loses His Power.

Traditionally, I Have Responded To The Transcendent Mystics Of All Religions. I Have Always Responded With Breathless Excitement To Anyone Who Has Ever Said That God Does Not Live In A Dogmatic Scripture Or In A Distant Throne In The Sky, But Instead Abides Very Close To Us Indeed- Much Closer Than We Can Imagine, Breathing Right Through Our Own Hearts.

Some Days Are Meant To Be Counted, Others Are Meant To Be Weighed.

The Thing I Love About Dickens Is The Omniscient, Omnipotent Narrator, And The Great Confidence Of The Narrator, Which Marks 19th-century Novelists In General And Dickens In Particular.

If You're Brave Enough To Leave Behind Everything Familiar And Comforting, Which Can Be Anything From Your House To Bitter, Old Resentments, And Set Out On A Truth-seeking Journey, Either Externally Or Internally, And If You Are Truly Willing To Regard Everything That Happens To You On That Journey As A Clue And If You Accept Everyone You Meet Along The Way As A Teacher And If You Are Prepared, Most Of All, To Face And Forgive Some Very Difficult Realities About Yourself, Then The Truth Will Not Be Withheld From You.

It Is Not We As Individuals, Then, Who Must Bend Uncomfortably Around The Institution Of Marriage; Rather, It Is The Institution Of Marriage That Has To Bend Uncomfortably Around Us.

Nobody's Life Is Interesting Enough To Warrant A Third Memoir.

I Used To Say, 'man, I Think I'd Be A Really Good Dad. I'll Be A Great Provider. I'm Funny; I'll Go On Trips With Them - I'll Do All Sorts Of Stuff.' But The Momming? I'm Not Made For That. I Have A Really Good Mom; I Know What She Put Into It.

I Do Forget Sometimes How Much It Means For Certain Men—for Certain People—to Be Able To Provide Their Loved Ones With Material Comforts And Protection At All Times. I Forget How Dangerously Reduced Some Men Can Feel When That Basic Ability Has Been Stripped From Them. I Forget How Much That Matters To Men, What It Represents.

From The Most Sacred Ancient Text Of Yoga: Oh Krishna, The Mind Is Restless, Turbulent, Strong, And Unyielding. I Consider It As Difficult To Subdue As The Wind.

Unfenced By Law, The Unmarried Lover Can Quit A Bad Relationship At Any Time. But You - The Legally Married Person Who Wants To Escape Doomed Love - May Soon Discover That A Significant Portion Of Your Marriage Contract Belongs To The State, And That It Sometimes Takes A Very Long While For The State To Grant You Your Leave.

Bad Relationship

God Wants Us To Be In Joy, God Wants Us To Be Happy.

Moss Is Inconceivably Strong. Moss Eats Stone; Scarcely Anything, In Return, Eats Moss. Moss Dines Upon Boulders, Slowly But Devastatingly, In A Meal That Lasts For Centuries. Given Enough Time, A Colony Of Moss Can Turn A Cliff Into Gravel, And Turn That Gravel Into Topsoil.

Guilt's Just Your Ego's Way Of Tricking You Into Thinking That You're Making Moral Progress. Don't Fall For It, My Dear.

As A Writer, You Always Read In Two Minds: You Read As A Reader And You Enjoy It, And You Look At It As A Writer, And You Just Admire The Architecture And The Construction.

If I'm Being Forgiving Of Myself, I Could Say I'm Somebody Who Was Really Hungry For Experiences. The Same Thing That Would Make Me Go Try To Be A Trail Cook On A Ranch Was The Same Thing That Would Make Me Want To Have Sex With A Couple Cowboys While I Was There.

I Believe In Miracles, I Believe In The Law Of Attraction, But Even I Don't Think I'm Big Enough To Manifest Five Asian Elephants Cloaked In Gold.

When I Diagnose My Depression Now, I Think It Was Partially About Saying Goodbye To These Kids That I Always Expected To Have But Already Knew That I Wouldn't.

My Life's Accomplishments? Sanity, And You.

We Live In This Society Where You Must Constantly Be Reinventing Yourself. The Big Question Is What Are You Doing Next. The Only Thing They Want Is Composed Of These Three Elements: They Want You To Do It The Exact Same Way Because They Want More Of It; But They Want It To Be Totally Different; And They Want It To Be Better. That's All You Have To Do. You Just Have To Do Something That's Exactly The Same, Totally Different, And Better.

Look For God. Look For God Like A Man With His Head On Fire Looks For Water.

Who Will Ever Kiss This Encyclopedia Of A Head?

If I'd Had Any Way Of Knowing That Things Were- As Lily Tomlin Once Said- Going To Get A Whole Lot Worse Before They Got Worse, I'm Not Sure How I Would Have Slept That Night.

We Were Taught To Be Dependable, Responsible, The Top Of Our Classes At School, The Most Organized And Efficient Babysitters In Town, The Very Miniature Models Of Our Hardworking Farmer/nurse Mother, A Pair Of Junior Swiss Army Knives, Born To Multitask.

Go Back To Bed', Said The Omniscient Interior Voice, Because You Don't Need To Know The Final Answer Right Now, At Three O'clock In The Morning On The Thursday In November. 'go Back To Bed', Because I Love You. 'go Back To Bed', Beacause The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer.

But, Ancient Greece And Ancient Rome - People Did Not Happen To Believe That Creativity Came From Human Beings Back Then, Ok? People Believed That Creativity Was This Divine Attendant Spirit That Came To Human Beings From Some Distant And Unknowable Source, For Distant And Unknowable Reasons.

I See A Lot Of Women Who Can't Travel When They're Young, And Then Their Kids Grow Up And They Become Amazing Adventurers. Travel Is Not Only For The Young. Sometimes It's Wasted On The Young.

To Travel Is Worth Any Cost Or Sacrifice.

Soon You Start Craving That Intense Attention With The Hungry Obsession Of Any Junkie. When The Drug Is Withheld You Probably Turn Sick, Crazy And Depleted Not To Mention Resentful Of The Dealer Who Encourage This Addiction In The First Place But Who Now Refuses To Pony Up The Good Stuff Anymore Despite That You Know That He Has It Hidden Somewhere God Dammit Because You Know That He Used To Give It To You For Free.

My Mother Has Made Choices In Her Life, As We All Must, And She Is At Peace With Them. I Can See Her Peace. She Did Not Cop Out On Herself. The Benefits Of Her Choices Are Massive-a Long, Stable Marriage To A Man She Still Calls Her Best Friend; A Family That Has Extended Now Into Grandchildren Who Adore Her; A Certainty In Her Own Strength. Maybe Some Things Were Sacrificed, And My Dad Made His Sacrifices, Too-but Who Amongst Us Lives Without Sacrifice?

I Like It When Science And Devotion Find Places Of Intersection.

I Think When You Are An Aspiring Writer, You Must Write Every Day. It's Not As Though Anybody Will Call You Up On The Phone And Say, "i Understand You Are A Very Promising, Aspiring Writer And I'm Going To Give You This Assignment." You Have To Create It Yourself Or It's Never Going To Happen.

I Was Perfectly Happy In My Boring Life Before You Came Along.

Everything Was A Miracle Until We Solved It. ... The First Man Who Ever Saw A Flying Fish Probably Thought He Was Witnessing A Miracle - And The First Man Who Ever Described A Flying Fish Was Doubtless Called A Liar.

Marriage Is - Among Other Things - A Study In Contradiction And Disappointment, And Inside That Reality There Is Space For Us To Truly Learn How To Love.

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Mireille Guiliano

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