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What I Think Is Amazing Is Not That 85% Of People Who Get Married Under The Age Of 25 Get Divorced, It's That 15% Of Them Stay Together. How Did They Manage To Pull That Off? You Almost Can't Wait Too Long. It's The Single Simplest Measure To Predict Divorce.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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What I Think Is

Elizabeth Gilbert

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What I Think Is Amazing Is Not That 85% Of People Who Get Married Under The Age Of 25 Get Divorced, It's That 15% Of Them Stay Together. How Did They Manage To Pull That Off? You Almost Can't Wait Too Long. It's The Single Simplest Measure To Predict Divorce.

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In The Modern Industrialized Western World, Where I Come From, The Person Whom You Choose To Marry Is Perhaps The Single Most Vivid Representation Of Your Own Personality. Your Spouse Becomes The Most Gleaming Possible Mirror Through Which Your Emotional Individualism Is Reflected Back To The World. There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

I Said, "it Seems Like You Have Fond Feelings Toward Your Ex-wife. Are You Two Still Close?" "nah," He Said Casually. "she Thinks I Changed My Name To Motherfucker."

You Must Stop Looking At The World Through Your Head. You Must Look Through Your Heart, Instead.

If You're Alive, You're A Creative Person.

It Was Like Time Would Stop, And The Dancer Would Sort Of Step Through Some Kind Of Portal And He Wasn't Doing Anything Different Than He Had Ever Done, 1,000 Nights Before, But Everything Would Align. And All Of A Sudden, He Would No Longer Appear To Be Merely Human. He Would Be Lit From Within, And Lit From Below And All Lit Up On Fire With Divinity. And When This Happened, Back Then, People Knew It For What It Was, You Know, They Called It By It's Name. They Would Put Their Hands Together And They Would Start To Chant, "allah, Allah, Allah, God God, God." That's God, You Know.

You Must Find Another Reason To Work, Other Than The Desire For Success Or Recognition. It Must Come From Another Place.

Desire For Success

What I Object To Is The Hyper-fetishized Wedding Day, The Prioritizing Of Wedding Over Marriage. I Have A Real Problem With Couples Spending Far More Time Discussing The Seating Arrangement Or The Color Of The Bridesmaid's Gowns Than Hashing Out, For Instance, Their Feelings About How They Intend To Handle Questions Of Housework, Child-rearing, Finances And Fidelity For The Next Four Or Five Decades.

In Order For Marriage To Endure It Has To Change Along With Us, And It Does That Very Graciously. And In The End I Find There Is Something Kind Of Moving About It: The Fact That People Continue To Insist On Choosing Somebody To Build A Life With.

I'm Not Particularly Inventive. If You Left Me In а Room And Told Me To Write A Novel, I Wouldn't Be Able To Do It. But If You Gave Me Two Years In A Public Library Around The Corner, I Could. It All Comes From Sort Of Mixing The True And The Invented. I'm Not A Fabulist. I'm More Of A Reporter.

Take Care Of The Problems Now, Or Else You'll Just Have To Suffer Again Later When You Scew Everything Up The Next Time. And That Repetition Of Suffering - That's Hell. Moving Out Of That Endless Repetition To A New Level Of Understand - There's Where You'll Find Heaven.

A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

Most Of All, I Can Choose My Thoughts.

Bali Eat Pray Love

Go Back To Bed', Said The Omniscient Interior Voice, Because You Don't Need To Know The Final Answer Right Now, At Three O'clock In The Morning On The Thursday In November. 'go Back To Bed', Because I Love You. 'go Back To Bed', Beacause The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer.

If Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Settle For Simply Making Lemonade - Make A Glorious Scene At A Lemonade Stand.

That's Just Your Ego, Trying To Make Sure It Stays In Charge. This Is What Ego Does. It Keeps You Feeling Separate, Keeps You With A Sense Of Duality, Tries To Convince You That You're Flawed And Broken And Alone Instead Of Whole.

It's Still Two Human Beings Trying To Get Along, So It's Going To Be Complicated. And Love Is Always Complicated. But Humans Must Try To Love Each Other, Darling. We Must Get Our Hearts Broken Sometimes. This Is A Good Sign, Having A Broken Heart. It Means We Have Tried For Something.

Modern Marriage Is First And Foremost A Romantic And Private Union, But The Tax Laws And Inheritance Laws And Religious Implications That Still Surround This Institution Indicate That Marriage Has Evolved Without Casting Away Its Earlier Purposes Or Assumptions. It's Like We Just Keep Building On This Thing, Piling New Advancements On The Old Model.

You Love New Boyfriend?" "i Think So. Yes." "then You Must Spoil Him. And He Must Spoil You.

At Some Point, You Gotta Let Go, And Sit Still, And Allow Contentment To Come To You.

Offer It Up Personally,then. Right Now. I Thought Of How Many People Go To Their Graves Unforgiven And Unforgiving. I Thought Of How Many People Have Had Siblings Or Friends Or Children Or Lovers Disappear From Their Lives Before Precious Words Of Clemency Or Absolution Could Be Passed Along. How Do The Survivors Of Terminated Relationships Ever Endure The Pain Of Unfinished Business? From That Place Of Meditation, I Found The Answer-you Can Finish The Business Yourself, From Within Yourself. It's Not Only Possible, It's Essential.

I Thought About One Of My Favorite Sufi Poems, Which Says That God Long Ago Drew A Circle In The Sand Exactly Around The Spot Where You Are Standing Right Now. I Was Never Not Coming Here. This Was Never Not Going To Happen.

So When Modern-day Religious Conservatives Wax Nostalgic About How Marriage Is A Sacred Tradition That Reaches Back Into History For Thousands Of Uninterrupted Years, They Are Absolutely Correct, But In Only One Respect-only If They Happen To Be Talking About Judaism.

Every Day When You Wake Up, Ask Yourself, 'what Do I Really, Really, Really Want? ' You Have To Say Really, Really, Really, Otherwise You Won't Believe It.

A True Soul Mate Is Probably The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet, Because They Tear Down Your Walls And Smack You Awake.

Devotion Is Diligence Without Assurance. Faith Is A Way Of Saying "yes, I Pre-accept The Terms Of The Universe And I Embrace In Advance What I Am Presently Incapable Of Understanding.

Look For God. Look For God Like A Man With His Head On Fire Looks For Water.

I Do Forget Sometimes How Much It Means For Certain Men—for Certain People—to Be Able To Provide Their Loved Ones With Material Comforts And Protection At All Times. I Forget How Dangerously Reduced Some Men Can Feel When That Basic Ability Has Been Stripped From Them. I Forget How Much That Matters To Men, What It Represents.

I Had A Great Teacher In India Who Said To Me, 'if You Think You're Spiritual And Evolved And Enlightened, Go Home For Christmas.'

There's This Great Kind Of Spooky Dance That Happens That I Can't Access Any Other Way. I Think Most Of Us Are Given Kind Of One Pathway To That Dance, And That's Why I'm A Writer. It's The Only Way I Can Get There. I Can't Do It Through Art, I Can't Do It Through Singing, I Can't Do It Through Mothering, I Can't Do It Through Invention.

Attraversiamo (meaning "lets Cross Over" In Italian)

Someone Asked Me If I Would Like To Write A Man On Death Row, Be A Pen Pal, And I Was Like, Sure. I Volunteered. I Had Been In A Place In My Life - A Relationship Had Ended; My Parents Were Getting Elderly - I Was Kind Of Adrift. The Name That Was Given To Me, Just Randomly, Was Todd Willingham. And He Wrote Me A Letter, And In This Letter, He Thanked Me For Writing Him And [said That] If I Would Like To Visit, He Would Put Me On His Visitor List... I Was Just Really Struck By The Letter From Todd. It Was Very Polite; It Was Very Kind.

Do You Think There's Any Way Humans Can Love Each Other Without Complication?

This Is A Nice Metaphor, Too, About Mothers And Daughters - That When It Came Time For Me To Make My Own, I Was Making A Completely Different Garden Than The One That My Mom Has. They Don't Look Like They Came From Relatives. Hers Is A Very Productive And Pragmatic Vegetable Garden, And Mine Is A Ridiculous Overabundance Of Useless Plants. It Doesn't Feed Anybody, It Doesn't Serve Any Purpose.

I Am A Better Person When I Have Less On My Plate.

And Then, In That Regal Silence, Finally - I Began To Meditate On (and With) God.

There's A Wonderful Old Italian Joke About A Poor Man Who Goes To Church Every Day And Prays Before The Statue Of A Great Saint,'dear Saint-please, Please, Please...give Me The Grace To Win The Lottery.' This Lament Goes On For Months. Finally The Exasperated Statue Come To Life, Looks Down At The Begging Man And Says In Weary Disgust,'my Son-please, Please, Please...buy A Ticket.

Marriage Is A Strange Combination Of Dream And Reality, And We Spend Our Lives As Couples Trying To Negotiate That Divide.

Big Deal. So You Fell In Love With Someone. Don’t You See What Happened? This Guy Touched A Place In Your Heart Deeper Than You Thought You Were Capable Of Reaching, I Mean You Got Zapped, Kiddo. But That Love You Felt, That’s Just The Beginning. You Just Got A Taste Of Love. That’s Just Limited Little Rinky-dink Mortal Love. Wait Till You See How Much More Deeply You Can Love Than That. Heck, Groceries—you Have The Capacity To Someday Love The Whole World. It’s Your Destiny. Don’t Laugh.

A Woman's Place Is In The Kitchen...sitting In A Comfortable Chair, With Her Feet Up, Drinking A Glass Of Wine And Watching Her Husband Cook Dinner.

The Sound Universe Is Also Spectacular Around Here. In The Evenings There's A Cricket Orchestra With Frogs Providing The Bass Line. In The Dead Of Night The Dogs Howl About How Misunderstood They Are. Before Dawn The Roosters For Miles Around Announce How Freaking Cool It Is To Be Roosters.

He Endeared Himself To Me Forever The First Night We Met, When I Was Getting Frustrated With My Inability To Find The Words I Wanted In Italian, And He Put His Hand On My Arm And Said, "liz, You Must Be Very Polite With Yourself When You Are Learning Something New.

Traveling-to-a-place Energy And Living-in-a-place Energy Are Two Fundamentally Different Energies

I Have A Lot Of Trouble Forgiving Myself For Being So Dumb... But Yes, Of Course, The Big Generous Compassionate View That You Should Take Of Yourself And Of All Events Is: What A Glorious Circus Train This Has Been, And What A Wonderful Messy Parade, And All Of Those Steps Took Me Here, Where I Precisely Need To Be Now, So God Bless It.

In Desperate Love, We Always Invent The Characters Of Our Partners, Demanding They Be What We Need Of Them, And Then Feeling Devastated When They Refuse To Perform The Role We Created In The First Place.

David Was Catnip And Kryptonite To Me.

Change Is All About Motion, Motion Is All About Uncertainty And We Are Deeply Uncomfortable With Uncertainty.

I Have A History Of Making Decisions Very Quickly About Men. I Have Always Fallen In Love Fast And Without Measuring Risks. I Have A Tendency Not Only To See The Best In Everyone, But To Assume That Everyone Is Emotionally Capable Of Reaching His Highest Potential. I Have Fallen In Love More Times Than I Care To Count With The Highest Potential Of A Man, Rather Than With The Man Himself, And I Have Hung On To The Relationship For A Long Time (sometimes Far Too Long) Waiting For The Man To Ascend To His Own Greatness. Many Times In Romance I Have Been A Victim Of My Own Optimism.

God Isn't Interested In Watching You Enact Some Performance Of Personality In Order To Comply With Some Crackpot Notion You Have About How A Spiritual Person Looks Or Behaves. We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Dramatic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality.

Moss Grows Where Nothing Else Can Grow. It Grows On Bricks. It Grows On Tree Bark And Roofing Slate. It Grows In The Arctic Circle And In The Balmiest Tropics; It Also Grows On The Fur Of Sloths, On The Backs Of Snails, On Decaying Human Bones. ... It Is A Resurrection Engine. A Single Clump Of Mosses Can Lie Dormant And Dry For Forty Years At A Stretch, And Then Vault Back Again Into Life With A Mere Soaking Of Water.

Until-as Often Happened During Those First Months Travel, Whenever I Would Feel Such Happiness-my Guilt Alarm Went Off. I Heard My Ex-husband's Voice Speaking Disdainfully In My Ear: So This Is What You Gave Up Everything For? This Is Why You Gutted Our Entire Life Together? For A Few Stalks Of Asparagus And An Italian Newspaper? I Replied Aloud To Him: "first Of All," I Said, "i'm Very Sorry, But This Isn't Your Business Anymore. And Secondly, To Answer You Question...yes.

Reality Has Taught Us That No Woman Can Build An Honest Life Without Sacrificing Something Along The Way. Deciding What Will Be Sacrificed Is Not Easy.

I Thought About The Relentless Thought-processing, Soul-devouring Machine That Is My Brain, And Wondered How On Earth I Was Ever Going To Master It. Then I Remembered That Line From Jaws And Couldn't Help Smiling: 'we're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat.

Absolute Certainty Is Not Something I Strive For Anymore. I've Learned The Hard Way That Destiny Usually Looks Upon Our Most Strident Convictions With Amusement, Or Perhaps Even Pity.

The World Is Like A Dropped Pie Most Of The Time. Don't Kill Yourself Trying To Put It Back Together. Just Grab A Fork And Eat Some Of It Off The Floor. Then Carry On.

The Inability To Open Up To Hope Is What Blocks Trust, And Blocked Trust Is The Reason For Blighted Dreams.

Most Of Humanity, He Said, Have Eyes That Are So Caked Shut With The Dust Of Deception They Will Never See The Truth, No Matter Who Tries To Help Them.

The Mosquitoes Here Are Big Enough To Rape A Chicken.

There Is So Much About My Fate That I Cannot Control, But Other Things Do Fall Under The Jurisdiction. I Can Decide How I Spend My Time, Whom I Interact With, Whom I Share My Body And Life And Money And Energy With. I Can Select What I Can Read And Eat And Study. I Can Choose How I'm Going To Regard Unfortunate Circumstances In My Life-whether I Will See Them As Curses Or Opportunities. I Can Choose My Words And The Tone Of Voice In Which I Speak To Others. And Most Of All, I Can Choose My Thoughts.

There Was Really Only One Person Who - And I Remember To This Day - He Was A Fireman, And He Said, "you'll Never Know What You'll Do When You're In A Fire." Everyone Else Was Like: "i Don't Care; I Would Have Saved My Children; I Could Have Done It. Even If I Was Asleep I Would Have Woken Up And Saved My Children." But The Fireman Said, "you Never Know What's Going To Happen Unless You're In There."

The Problem, Simply Put, Is That We Cannot Choose Everything Simultaneously. So We Live In Danger Of Becoming Paralyzed By Indecision, Terrified That Every Choice Might Be The Wrong Choice.

The Four Virtues A Person Needs In Order To Be Safe And Happy In Life: Intelligence, Friendship, Strength And (i Love This One) Poetry.

The Day Is Ending. It's Time For Something That Was Beautiful To Turn Into Something Else That Is Beautiful. Now, Let Go.

Eat Pray And Love

The World Needs Women Who Stop Asking For Permission From The Principal. Permission To Live Their Lives As They Deeply Know They Often Should. I Think We Still Look To Authority Figures For Validation, Recognition, Permission.

A True Soul Mate Is Probably The Most Important Person You'll Ever Meet, Because They Tear Down Your Walls And Smack You Awake. But To Live With A Soul Mate Forever? Nah. Too Painful. Soul Mates, They Come Into Your Life Just To Reveal Another Layer Of Yourself To You, And Then Leave.

The Fantasy Of The Wedding Day Is That It Represents Undeniable Public And Private Truth That You Have Been Chosen. For That One Day, You Are The Most Valuable Creature In The World - A Treasure, A Princess, A Prize.

As For Discipline—it's Important, But Sort Of Overrated. The More Important Virtue For A Writer, I Believe, Is Self-forgiveness. Because Your Writing Will Always Disappoint You. Your Laziness Will Always Disappoint You.

There's Nothing Special About Your Fear.

I Want God To Play In My Bloodstream The Way Sunlight Amuses Itself On The Water.

The Idea That A Prisoner Would Confess To A Complete Stranger That He Had Committed A Crime - I Just Didn't Buy That.

Keep Showing Up For Your Side Of The Job And Give Genius A Chance To Do Its Part.

Nobody's Life Is Interesting Enough To Warrant A Third Memoir.

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide.

Wish Upon A Star

Animated Movies

[saint Anthony] Said, In His Solitude, He Sometimes Encountered Devils Who Looked Like Angels, And Other Times He Found Angels Who Looked Like Devils. When Asked How He Could Tell The Difference, The Saint Said That You Can Only Tell Which Is Which By The Way You Feel After The Creature Has Left Your Company.

Il Bel Far Niente Means 'the Beauty Of Doing Nothing'... [it] Has Always Been A Cherished Italian Ideal. The Beauty Of Doing Nothing Is The Goal Of All Your Work, The Final Accomplishment For Which You Are Most Highly Congratulated. The More Exquisitely And Delightfully You Can Do Nothing, The Higher Your Life's Achievement. You Don't Necessarily Need To Be Rich In Order To Experience This, Either.

If Todd [willingham] Was Guilty Of Anything, It Was Just His Self-preservation. He Got Up And Ran Out Of The House And Then Thought About The Children After The Fact.

Do Not Apologize For Crying. Without This Emotion, We Are Only Robots.

In Every Possible Instance Saint Paul Begged Christians To Restrain Themselves To Contain Their Carnal Yearnings To Live Solitary And Sexless Lives On Earth As It Is In Heaven. "but If They Cannot Contain " Paul Finally Conceded Then "let Them Marry For It Is Better To Marry Than To Burn." Which Is Perhaps The Most Begrudging Endorsement Of Matrimony In Human History.

I’m Here. I Love You. I Don’t Care If You Need To Stay Up Crying All Night Long, I Will Stay With You... There’s Nothing You Can Ever Do To Lose My Love. I Will Protect You Until You Die, And After Your Death I Will Still Protect You. I Am Stronger Than Depression And I Am Braver Than Loneliness And Nothing Will Ever Exhaust Me.

When The Past Has Passed From You At Last, Let Go. Then Climb Down And Begin The Rest Of Your Life. With Great Joy.

And We Have A Little Herb Garden, Which Survived The Winter Thanks To Global Warming. It Makes Me Feel Like A Cool, Old Italian Housewife, That I Kept My Rosemary Alive Outside All Winter.

I've Been Screwed And Sued And Tattooed, And I'm Still Standin' Here In Front Of You.

The Trick At Every Turn Was To Endure The Test Of Living For As Long As Possible. The Odds Of Survival Were Punishingly Slim, For The World Was Naught By A School Of Calamity And An Endless Burning Furnace Of Tribulation. But Those Who Survived The World Shaped It--even As The World, Simultaneously, Shaped Them.

We Alter And Customize The Thing Every Century, Every Generation, Every Day - Both In The Courts And In Our Own Homes. And Marriage Accepts Our Modifications Gracefully. Marriage Adapts, Evolves And (in A Manner That I Find Miraculous And Kind Of Inspiring) Somehow Keeps Chugging Along.

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart.

Up Until The Middle Of The Nineteenth Century, Men Of Science Were All Believers. Most Of The Great Early English Naturalists Were Also Ministers; They Were The Only Ones Who Had Education And Leisure For Such Pursuits. Darwin Himself Almost Became A Minister. God's Power Was Always Thought To Be Most Easily And Obviously Revealed In The Majestic Works Of Nature.

I'm Trying To Dismantle A Stereotype That In Order To Live Any Kind Of Creative Life, You Have To Be In Torment And Suffering. We're Addicted To This Idea Because It Makes For Good Bio Pics... But I Actually Think It's Better To Live A Life Where You're Constantly Exploring Your Curiosity And Creativity.

Only The Young And Stupid Are Confident About Sex And Romance.

Thich Nhat Hanh Has The Ability To Bring Forth The State Of Peace That We Each Inherently Posses Merely By His Presence In A Room-this Is Divine Power.

I Think It's Wonderful When A Love Story Begins With A Great Deal Of Romance And Affection, Passion And Excitement, That's How It Should Be. But I Don't Necessarily Know That It's The Wisest Thing In The World To Expect That It Ends There, Or That It Should, 30 Years Down The Road, Still Look As It Did On The Night Of Your First Kiss.

I Am Far More Of A Loner Than People Would Imagine. But I Am The Most Gregarious And Socially Interactive Loner You Ever Met. The Thing Is, I Am Fascinated By People's Stories And I'm Very Talkative And Can't Ever Say No To Anything Or Anyone, So I Tend To Over-socialize, To Give Away Too Much Of My Time To The Many People I Adore.

This Is What Rituals Are For. We Do Spiritual Ceremonies As Human Beings In Order To Create A Safe Resting Place For Our Most Complicated Feelings Of Joy Or Trauma, So That We Don't Have To Haul Those Feelings Around With Us Forever, Weighing Us Down. We All Need Such Places Of Ritual Safekeeping. And I Do Believe That If Your Culture Or Tradition Doesn't Have The Specific Ritual You Are Craving, Then You Are Absolutely Permitted To Make Up A Ceremony Of Your Own Devising, Fixing Your Own Broken-down Emotional Systems With All The Do-it-yourself Resourcefulness Of A Generous Plumber/poet.

Even In The Worst Tragedies And Crisis, There’s No Reason To Add To Everyone’s Misery By Looking Miserable Yourself.

How Could Two People Who Were So In Love Not End Up Happily Ever After? It Had To Work. Didn’t It?

I'm An Enormous Product Of My Century, I'm A Product Of My Upbringing. I Was Not Aware Of The Fact That I Was Entering Marriage With The Highest Set Of Expectations That Humans Have Ever Brought To The Institution. It Was Really Good To Find That Out. It Doesn't Have To Be The Alpha And The Omega, The Beginning And The End, The Moon And The Stars - It Can Just Be The Moon. It's Enough That It Just Can Be What It Is.

And What Will I Be Able To Do Tomorrow That I Cannot Yet Do Today?

In 1954, Pope Pius Xi, Of All People, Sent Some Vatican Delegates On A Trip To Libya With These Written Instructions: "do Not Think That You Are Going Among Infidels. Muslims Attain Salvation, Too. The Ways Of Providence Are Infinite.

I Tried To Reassure Him With Every Line About How The World Is Hard And Unfair Sometimes, But That It's All Ok Because He Is So Loved. He Is Surrounded By Souls Who Would Do Anything To Help Him. And Not Only That--he Has Wisdom And Patience Of His Own, Buried Deep Inside His Being, Which Will Only Reveal Themselves Over Time And Will Always Carry Him Through Any Trial. He Is A Gift From God To All Of Us.

This Was Not My Moment To Be Seeking Romance And (as Day Follows Night) To Further Complicate My Already Knotty Life. This Was My Moment To Look For The Kind Of Healing And Peace That Can Only Come From Solitude.

I Crossed The Street To Walk In The Sunshine.

To Be Prosperous And Happy In Life, Henry, It Is Simple. Pick One Woman, Pick It Well, And Surrender.

Everything Really Is Going To Be Okay. (and If Not Okay, Then At Least Comic.)

My Face Is A Transparent Transmitter Of My Every Thought.

If You Want To Get To The Castle, Groceries, You've Got To Swim The Moat.

The Hopi Indians Thought That The World’s Religions Each Contained One Spiritual Thread, And That These Threads Are Always Seeking Each Other, Wanting To Join. When All The Threads Are Finally Woven Together They Will Form A Rope That Will Pull Us Out Of This Dark Cycle Of History And Into The Next Realm.

You Know, I Think That Allowing Somebody, One Mere Person To Believe That He Or She Is Like, The Vessel You Know, Like The Font And The Essence And The Source Of All Divine, Creative, Unknowable, Eternal Mystery Is Just A Smidge Too Much Responsibility To Put On One Fragile, Human Psyche. It's Like Asking Somebody To Swallow The Sun.

The Yogic Path Is About Disentangling The Built-in Glitches Of The Human Condition, Which I'm Going To Over-simply Define Here As The Heartbreaking Inability To Sustain Contentment.

But Is It Such A Bad Thing To Live Like This For Just A Little While? Just For A Few Months Of One's Life, Is It So Awful To Travel Through Time With No Greater Ambition Than To Find The Next Lovely Meal? Or To Learn How To Speak A Language For No Higher Purpose Than That It Pleases Your Ear To Hear It? Or To Nap In A Garden, In A Patch Of Sunlight, In The Middle Of The Day, Right Next To Your Favourite Fountain? And Then To Do It Again The Next Day?

Eventually, Everything Goes Away.

Mostly You Meet Friends When Traveling By Accident, Like By Sitting Next To Them On The Train, Or In A Restaurant, Or In A Holding Cell.

Addiction Is The Hallmark Of Every Infatuation-based Love Story.

Because I Know Something That You Don't Know. I Know That This Is The Worst Experience Of Your Life, But I Also Know That Someday You'll Move Past It And You'll Be Fine. And Helping Somebody Likej You Through The Worst Experience Of Her Life Is Incredibly Gratifying.

Sanity And Clarity Are More Important For Me And I'm Willing To Give Up A Lot Of Shimmer For It. I'm Willing To Have More Boring Friends, Who Are Sane.

The Hero's Journey Is Simply Who We Are As Human Beings.

Embrace The Beautiful Mess That You Are.

Learning How To Discipline Your Speech Is A Way Of Preventing Your Energies From Spilling Out Of You Through The Rupture Of Your Mouth, Exhausting You And Filling The World With Words, Words, Words Instead Of Serenity, Peace And Bliss.

Who Will Ever Kiss This Encyclopedia Of A Head?

Deep Grief Sometimes Is Almost Like A Specific Location, A Coordinate On A Map Of Time. When You Are Standing In That Forest Of Sorrow, You Cannot Imagine That You Could Ever Find Your Way To A Better Place. But If Someone Can Assure You That They Themselves Have Stood In That Same Place, And Now Have Moved On, Sometimes This Will Bring Hope

My Heart Was Broken So Badly Last Time That It Still Hurts. Isn't That Crazy? To Still Have A Broken Heart Almost Two Years After A Love Story Ends?

There Is A Theory That If You Yearn Sincerely Enough For A Guru, You Will Find One. The Universe Will Shift, Destiny's Molecules Will Get Themselves Organized And Your Path Will Soon Intersect With The Path Of The Master You Need.

I Am Burdened With What The Buddhists Call The Monkey Mind. The Thoughts That Swing From Limb To Limb, Stopping Only To Scratch Themselves, Spit And Howl. My Mind Swings Wildly Through Time, Touching On Dozens Of Ideas A Minute, Unharnessed And Undisciplined. You Are, After All, What You Think. Your Emotions Are The Slaves To Your Thoughts, And You Are The Slave To Your Emotions.

Your Home Is Whatever In This World You Love More Than You Love Yourself. So That Might Be Creativity, Family, Invention, Adventure, Faith, Service, It Might Be Raising Corgies, I Don't Know - Your Home Is That Thing To Which You Can Dedicate Your Energies With Such Singular Devotion That The Ultimate Results Become Inconsequential.

Problem Is, You Can’t Accept That His Relationship Had A Real Short Shelf Life. You’re Like A Dog At The Dump, Baby – You’re Just Lickin’ At The Empty Tin Can, Trying To Get More Nutrition Out Of It. And If You’re Not Careful, That Can’s Gonna Get Stuck On Your Snout Forever And Make Your Life Miserable. So Drop It.” “but I Love Him.” “so Love Him.” “but I Miss Him.” “so Miss Him. Send Him Some Love And Light Every Time You Think About Him, Then Drop It.

Also, I Could Finally Sleep. And This Was The Real Gift, Because When You Cannot Sleep, You Cannot Get Yourself Out Of The Ditch--there's Not A Chance.

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart. The Only Thing The Mind Hears All Day Is Clanging Bells And Noise And Argument, And All It Wants Is Quietude. The Only Place The Mind Will Ever Find Peace Is Inside The Silence Of The Heart. That's Where You Need To Go.

Writing Is Not Like Dancing Or Modeling; It's Not Something Where-if You Missed It By Age 19-you're Finished. It's Never Too Late. Your Writing Will Only Get Better As You Get Older And Wiser. If You Write Something Beautiful And Important, And The Right Person Somehow Discovers It, They Will Clear Room For You On The Bookshelves Of The World-at Any Age. At Least Try.

Maybe [artistry] Doesn't Have To Be Quite So Full Of Anguish If You Never Happened To Believe, In The First Place, That The Most Extraordinary Aspects Of Your Being Came From You. But Maybe If You Just Believed That They Were On Loan To You From Some Unimaginable Source For Some Exquisite Portion Of Your Life To Be Passed Along When You're Finished ... It Starts To Change Everything.

If You're Brave Enough To Leave Behind Everything Familiar And Comforting, Which Can Be Anything From Your House To Bitter, Old Resentments, And Set Out On A Truth-seeking Journey, Either Externally Or Internally, And If You Are Truly Willing To Regard Everything That Happens To You On That Journey As A Clue And If You Accept Everyone You Meet Along The Way As A Teacher And If You Are Prepared, Most Of All, To Face And Forgive Some Very Difficult Realities About Yourself, Then The Truth Will Not Be Withheld From You.

Why Must Everything Be Repeat And Repeat, Never Finish, Never Resting? You Work So Hard One Day, But The Next Day You Must Only Work Again. You Eat, But The Next Day, You Are Already Hungry. You Find Love, Then Love Goes Away. You Are Born With Nothing, You Work Hard, Then You Die With Nothing. You Are Young, Then You Are Old. No Matter How Hard You Work, You Cannot Stop Getting Old. - Wayan

Sometimes Life Is Too Hard To Be Alone, And Sometimes Life Is Too Good To Be Alone.

I Believe In Miracles, I Believe In The Law Of Attraction, But Even I Don't Think I'm Big Enough To Manifest Five Asian Elephants Cloaked In Gold.

I Will Not Harbor Unhealthy Thoughts Anymore.

He Was Powerful And I Died Of Love In His Shadow.

What Are You Willing To Give Up, In Order To Become Who You Really Need To Be?

I Actually Have A Great Deal Of Respect For Antidepressants; I Think They Can Be Enormously Mighty Tools Toward Recovery.

I Am Not An Expert At Praying, As You Know. But Can You Please Help Me? I Am In Desperate Need Of Help. I Don't Know What To Do. I Need An Answer. Please Tell Me What To Do.

I Decide Every Day That I Love Creativity Enough To Accept That Fear Will Always Come With It. And I Talk To Fear All The Time, Speaking To It With Love And Respect, Saying To It: “i Know That You Are Fear, And That Your Job Is To Be Afraid. And You Do Your Job Really Well! I Will Never Ask You To Leave Me Alone Or To Be Silent, Because You Have A Right To Speak Your Own Voice, And I Know That You Will Never Leave Me Alone Or Be Silent, Anyhow. But I Need You To Understand That I Will Always Choose Creativity Over You.

My Whole Life I've Been An Over-giver. My General Operating Policy Has Always Been, 'if It Belongs To Me, Don't Worry: You Can Have It!'

A True Soul Mate Is A Mirror, The Person Who Shows You Everything That Is Holding You Back, The Person Who Brings You To Your Own Attention So You Can Change Your Life.

The Little Fishing Boat Anchors Right Off The Shore Of Gili Meno. There Are No Docks Here On This Island. You Have To Roll Up Your Pants, Jump Off The Boat And Wade In Through The Surf On Your Own Power. There's Absolutely No Way To Do This Without Getting Soaking Wet Or Even Banged Up On The Coral, But It's Worth All The Trouble Because The Beach Here Is So Beautiful, So Special

The Ingredients Of Both Darkness And Light Are Equally Present In All Of Us,...the Madness Of This Planet Is Largely A Result Of The Human Being's Difficulty In Coming To Viruous Balance With Himself.

I Think I Deserve Something Beautiful.

We Search For Happiness Everywhere, But We Are Like Tolstoy's Fabled Beggar Who Spent His Life Sitting On A Pot Of Gold, Under Him The Whole Time. Your Treasure--your Perfection--is Within You Already. But To Claim It, You Must Leave The Buy Commotion Of The Mind And Abandon The Desires Of The Ego And Enter Into The Silence Of The Heart.

Every Few Years, I Think, 'maybe Now I'm Finally Smart Enough Or Sophisticated Enough To Understand 'ulysses.'' So I Pick It Up And Try It Again. And By Page 10, As Always, I'm Like, 'what The Hell?'

You Have To Participate Relentlessly In The Manifestation Of Your Own Blessings.

Follow Your Dreams

Destiny, I Feel, Is Also A Relationship - A Play Between Divine Grace And Willful Self-effort.

Teach Your Heart That This Is Destiny

I Have My Own Set Of Survival Techniques. I Am Patient. I Know How To Pack Light. But My One Might Travel Talent Is That I Can Make Friends With Anybody. I Can Make Friends With The Dead. If There Isn’t Anyone Else Around To Talk To, I Could Probably Make Friends With A Four-foot-tall Pile Of Sheetrock. That Is Why I’m Not Afraid To Travel To The Most Remote Places In The World, Not If There Are Human Beings There To Meet. People Asked Me Before I Left, “do You Have Friends [there]?’ And I Would Just Shake My Head No, Thinking To Myself, But I Will.

There Are Times When The Only Access I Have To The Truest Person That I Am Is When I'm Alone And Trying To Solve A Sentence. It's Exciting, Even When It's Frustrating, Even When I Can't Do It Right.

We Have Hands; We Can Stand On Them If We Want To. That's Our Privilege. That's The Joy Of A Mortal Body. And That's Why God Needs Us. Because God Loves To Feel Things Through Our Hands.

You Have No Idea How Strong My Love Is!

Most Of Us, Even If Only For Two Minutes In Our Lives, Have Experienced At Some Time Or Another An Inexplicable And Random Sense Of Complete Bliss, Unrelated To Anything That Was Happening In The Outside World.

He Is Only Happy When He Can Maintain Himself - Mentally And Spiritually - At The Intersection Between A Vertical Line And Horizontal One, In A State Of Perfect Balance. For This, He Needs To Know Where He Is Located Every Moment, Both In His Relationship To The Divine And To His Family Here On Earth. If He Loses That Balance, He Loses His Power.

I Think My Weakness As A Writer Is A Limited Imagination, And I Think My Strength Is A Talent For Reflecting The World, Or Sort Of Curating Things Out Of The World And Putting Them Into Books.

The Story He [todd Willingham] Told Me Was This: He Woke Up To A Fire. He Ran Out Of The House And Couldn't Run Back In To Save His Children, And That Was Enough To Get Me Interested. ... There's A Writer In Me That's Like, ... This Is A Great Story. ... I Have A Good Friend, Who Was My Neighbor At The Time, And I Told Her About It. ... She Had Been A Reporter, And She Was Like, "let's Go Investigate It."

When I Look At My Life And The Lives Of My Female Friends These Days - With Our Dizzying Number Of Opportunities And Talents - I Sometimes Feel As Though We Are All Mice In A Giant Experimental Maze, Scurrying Around Frantically, Trying To Find Our Way Through.

Soon You Start Craving That Intense Attention With The Hungry Obsession Of Any Junkie. When The Drug Is Withheld You Probably Turn Sick, Crazy And Depleted Not To Mention Resentful Of The Dealer Who Encourage This Addiction In The First Place But Who Now Refuses To Pony Up The Good Stuff Anymore Despite That You Know That He Has It Hidden Somewhere God Dammit Because You Know That He Used To Give It To You For Free.

Nothing Is Less Efficient Than Perfectionism.

Maturity Brings - Among Other Things - The Ability To Sustain And Survive Enormous Contradictions And Disappointments.

Americans Have An Inability To Relax Into Sheer Pleasure.ours Is An Entertainment Seeking-nation, But Not Necessarily A Pleasure-seeking One....this Is The Cause Of That Great Sad American Stereotype- The Overstressed Executive Who Goes On Vacation, But Who Cannot Relax.

Pleasure Seeking

Lay Your Wishes Aside For A Spell, And Look Deep Into What You Believe About Yourself. Make Sure Your Beliefs About Your Own Life Are Anchored In Greatness, In Holiness, In Worth, In Grace, In Joy, In Excitement -in Internal Certainties Rather Than External Circumstances. Because That Belief? That's Where You're Heading, No Matter What It May Look Like On The Outside.

I Guess What I Want To Learn Is How To Live In This World And Enjoy Its Delights But Also Devote Myself To God.

Once Henry Had Heard A Crying Noise At Sea, And Had Seen A Mermaid Floating On The Ocean's Surface. The Mermaid Had Been Injured By A Shark. Henry Had Pulled The Mermaid Out Of The Water With A Rope, And She Had Died In His Arms..."what Language Did The Mermaid Speak?" Alma Wanted To Know, Imagining That It Like Almost Have To Be Greek. "english!" Henry Said. "by God, Plum, Why Would I Rescue A Deuced Foreign Mermaid?

Longing To Travel While You Are Already Traveling Is, I Admit, A Kind Of Greedy Madness

Sometimes Beauty Needs A Bit Of Ignoring, To Properly Come Into Being.

When You Have Only Two Minutes To Say Good-bye To The Person You Love Most In The World, And You Don’t Know When You’ll See Each Other Again, You Can Become Logjammed With The Effort To Say And Do And Settle Everything At Once.

At The End Of The Day I Am A Writer, And If I Don't Take Care Of This, No One Else Will.

The End Of The Day

How Much Do You Love Me?' And "who's In Charge?" ....these Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering. People Follow Different Paths, Straight Or Crooked, According To Their Temperament, Depending On Which They Consider Best, Or Most Appropriate -- And All Reach You, Just As Rivers Enter The Ocean.

Beauty Is Not Required. Beauty Is Accuracy's Distraction.

Please Go To This Pizzeria. Order The Margherita Pizza With Double Mozzarella. If You Do Not Eat This Pizza When You Are In Naples, Please Lie To Me And Tell Me That You Did.

If You're Going To Answer The Call And You're Going To Transform And You're Going To Change, Get Ready. It Is Not A Day At The Beach.

I Wondered, "why Have I Been Chasing Happiness My Whole Life When Bliss Was Here The Entire Time?

A Fish And A Bird May Indeed Fall In Love, But Where Shall They Live?

Falling In Love

This Was My Moment To Look For The Kind Of Healing And Peace That Can Only Come From Solitude.

The Silly Putty-like Malleability Of The Institution [marriage], In Fact, Is The Only Reason We Still Have The Thing At All. Very Few People... Would Accept Marriage On It's Thirteenth-century Terms. Marriage Survives, In Other Words, Precisely Because It Evolves. (though I Suppose This Would Not Be A Very Persuasive Argument To Those Who Probably Also Don't Believe In Evolution).

It Seems Obvious That There Comes Period In Your Life When You Have To Learn To Say No To Things You Don't Want To Do. But The Biggest Trickiest Lesson In Holding On The Stalwart Committment To Your Creativity Is Learning How To Say No To The Things You Do Want To Do.

I'm Not A Big Austen Reader. I Wouldn't Say I Dislike Her, But If I Had To Choose Between Her And Eliot To Bring To A Desert Island, It Would Definitely Be Eliot.

Marriage Is - Among Other Things - A Study In Contradiction And Disappointment, And Inside That Reality There Is Space For Us To Truly Learn How To Love.

I Will Give You The Sun And The Rain, And If They Are Not Available, I Will Give You A Sun Check And A Rain Check.

Parla Come Mangi' --it Is A Common Way To Say 'be Simple', 'don't Try To Be Rhetorical' Literaly: 'speak The Way You Eat

We Invented Marriage. Couples Invented Marriage. We Also Invented Divorce,mind You. And We Invented Infidelity,too, As Well As Romantic Misery. In Fact We Invented The Whole Sloppy Mess Of Love And Intimacy And Aversion And Euphoria And Failure. But Most Importantly Of All, Most Subversively Of All, Most Stubbornly Of All, We Invented Privacy.

I Still Can’t Say Whether I Ever Want Children….i Can Only Say How I Feel Now--grateful To Be On My Own. I Also Know That I Won’t Go Forth And Have Children Just In Case I Might Regret Missing It Later In Life; I Don’t Think This Is A Strong Enough Motivation To Bring More Babies Onto The Earth.

My Restlessness Makes Me A Far Better Day-to-day Traveler Than He Will Ever Be. I Am Infinitely Curious And Almost Infinitely Patient With Mishaps, Discomforts, And Minor Disasters. So I Can Go Anywhere On The Planet—that’s Not A Problem. The Problem Is That I Just Can’t Live Anywhere On The Planet.

When You're Lost In Those Woods, It Sometimes Takes You A While To Realize That You Are Lost. For The Longest Time, You Can Convince Yourself That You've Just Wandered Off The Path, That You'll Find Your Way Back To The Trailhead Any Moment Now. Then Night Falls Again And Again, And You Still Have No Idea Where You Are, And It's Time To Admit That You Have Bewildered Yourself So Far Off The Path That You Don't Even Know From Which Direction The Sun Rises Anymore.

Dear Lord, Please Show Me Everything I Need To Understand About Forgiveness And Surrender

He Told Me That One Of The Reasons People Are So Unhappy Is They Don't Talk To Themselves. He Said You Have To Keep A Conversation Going With Yourself Throughout Your Life To See How You're Doing, To Keep Your Focus, To Remain Your Own Friend. He Told Me That He Talked To Himself All The Time, And That It Helped Him To Grow Stronger And Better Everyday.

Well, Just Remember--all Your Misery Will Be Waiting For You At The Door Upon Your Exit, Should You Care To Pick It Up Again When You Leave.

To Travel Is Worth Any Cost Or Sacrifice.

When It Seemed Like I Was Going To Really Have To Be There At Todd's [willingham] Execution, I Don't Think I Could Have Done It. I Think I Began To Distance Myself. I Didn't Visit As Often; I Didn't Write As Often. This Was Kind Of After My Conversation With [fire Science Expert] Gerald Hurst. And The [car] Accident Made Sure That I Didn't Have To Go Up There. But I Think He And I Both Shared That.

We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Drastic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality. To Know God, You Only Need To Renounce One Thing - Your Sense Of Division From God

I've Always Been Afraid Of Saying No To People Because I Don't Want Them To Be Disappointed And Dislike Me.

I Was Perfectly Happy In My Boring Life Before You Came Along.

So Now I Have Started Living My Own Life. Imperfect And Clumsy As It May Look, It Is Resembling Me Now, Thoroughly.

Nobody's Really Paying That Much Attention To Your Massive Personal Dramas.

I Watched Them, Thinking That Little Girls Who Make Their Mothers Live Grow Up To Be Such Powerful Women.

In The End, Though, Maybe We Must All Give Up Trying To Pay Back The People In This World Who Sustain Our Lives. In The End, Maybe It's Wiser To Surrender Before The Miraculous Scope Of Human Generosity And To Just Keep Saying Thank You, Forever And Sincerely, For As Long As We Have Voices.

I Equal Parts Loved Him And Could Not Stand Him. I Couldn't Wake Him To Share In My Distress.

The Beauty And Variety Of The Natural World Are Merely The Visible Legacies Of Endless War.

Your Fear Is The Most Boring Thing About You.

Overcoming Fear

I Can See How The Authorities Could Not Like Todd [ Willingham], Because He's Not A Person Who Is Going To Give You Respect If You Don't Deserve It Just Because You Say Something.

The Only Boring People I Know Are Bored People.

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