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I'm An Enormous Product Of My Century, I'm A Product Of My Upbringing. I Was Not Aware Of The Fact That I Was Entering Marriage With The Highest Set Of Expectations That Humans Have Ever Brought To The Institution. It Was Really Good To Find That Out. It Doesn't Have To Be The Alpha And The Omega, The Beginning And The End, The Moon And The Stars - It Can Just Be The Moon. It's Enough That It Just Can Be What It Is.

-Elizabeth Gilbert

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I'm An Enormous Product

Elizabeth Gilbert

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I'm An Enormous Product Of My Century, I'm A Product Of My Upbringing. I Was Not Aware Of The Fact That I Was Entering Marriage With The Highest Set Of Expectations That Humans Have Ever Brought To The Institution. It Was Really Good To Find That Out. It Doesn't Have To Be The Alpha And The Omega, The Beginning And The End, The Moon And The Stars - It Can Just Be The Moon. It's Enough That It Just Can Be What It Is.

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True Wisdom Gives The Only Possible Answer At Any Given Moment, And That Night, Going Back To Bed Was The Only Possible Answer.

Then My Mother Shocked Me. She Said, " All Those Things That You Want From Your Relationship, Liz? I Have Always Wanted Those Things Too." [she] Showed Me The Handful Of Bullets She'd Had To Bite Over The Decades In Order To Stay Happily Married (and She Was Happily Married...) To My Father. "you Have To Understand How Little I Was Raised To Expect That I Desired In Life, Honey. Remember- I Come From A Different Time And Place... And You Have To Understand How Much I Love Your Father.

Ruin Is A Gift. Ruin Is The Road To Transformation.

Nobody's Really Paying That Much Attention To Your Massive Personal Dramas.

Creativity Is A Scavenger Hunt. It's Your Obligation To Pay Attention To Clues, To The Thing That Gives You That Little Tweak.

Your Fear Is Just As Boring As Mine Is. Everyone's Got The Same One. It Is Not Precious. It Is Not Special. It Is Not Singular To You. It's Just The One We All Got Wired With When We Came In. Focus On Your Unique Qualities That Deserve To Be Celebrated And Put Fear Back In Its Place. Don't Listen To It. Onward.

Traveling Is The Great True Love Of My Life

Love Of My Life

Great True Love

It's Not Enough For Me To Just Hear About Something Or Read About Something, I Wanna Know It In My Bones.

I Want God To Play In My Bloodstream The Way Sunlight Amuses Itself On The Water.

You Know The Old Adage: Plant An Expectation, Reap A Disappointment.

If Something Is Rubbing So Hard Against You, You Can Be Sure It's Working On You.

There Are Only Two Questions That Human Beings Have Ever Fought Over, All Through History. 'how Much Do You Love Me?' And, 'who's In Charge?' Everything Else Is Somehow Manageable. But These Two Questions Of Love And Control Undo Us All, Trip Us Up And Cause War, Grief, And Suffering.

He Is Only Happy When He Can Maintain Himself - Mentally And Spiritually - At The Intersection Between A Vertical Line And Horizontal One, In A State Of Perfect Balance. For This, He Needs To Know Where He Is Located Every Moment, Both In His Relationship To The Divine And To His Family Here On Earth. If He Loses That Balance, He Loses His Power.

In 1954, Pope Pius Xi, Of All People, Sent Some Vatican Delegates On A Trip To Libya With These Written Instructions: "do Not Think That You Are Going Among Infidels. Muslims Attain Salvation, Too. The Ways Of Providence Are Infinite.

Despite Having Written Five Books, I Worry That I Have Not Written The Right Kinds Of Books, Or That Perhaps I Have Dedicated Too Much Of My Life To Writing, And Have Therefore Neglected Other Aspects Of My Being.

The Great Lack Of Parity Between Husbands And Wives Has Always Been Spawned By The Disproportionate Degree Of Self-sacrifice That Women Are Willing To Make On Behalf Of Those They Love.

Venice Is Beautiful, But Like A Bergman Movie Is Beautiful; You Can Admire It, But You Don't Really Want To Live In It.

There's Always Another Level Up. There's Always Another Ascension. More Grace, More Light, More Generosity, More Compassion, More To Shed, More To Grow.

What Do I Believe That I Deserve In This Life?

I Actually Have A Great Deal Of Respect For Antidepressants; I Think They Can Be Enormously Mighty Tools Toward Recovery.

Learning How To Discipline Your Speech Is A Way Of Preventing Your Energies From Spilling Out Of You Through The Rupture Of Your Mouth, Exhausting You And Filling The World With Words, Words, Words Instead Of Serenity, Peace And Bliss.

I Thought About One Of My Favorite Sufi Poems, Which Says That God Long Ago Drew A Circle In The Sand Exactly Around The Spot Where You Are Standing Right Now. I Was Never Not Coming Here. This Was Never Not Going To Happen.

Indeed, When I Came To Italy, I Expected To Encounter A Certain Amount Of Resentment, But Have Received Instead Empathy From Most Italians. In Any Reference To George Bush, People Only Nod To Berlusconi, Saying","we Understand How It Is - We Have One, Too.

All Of Women's Stories In The 19th Century Had Either One Of Two Endings: You Either Had The Good Jane Austen Marriage At The End And You Were Happy; Or You Had The Terrible Henry James Savage Downfall Because Of Your Own Hubris As A Woman, Or You've Made Some Great Error Leading You Down A Path To Ruin. One Is The Story Of Love That's Successful And The Other Is The Story Usually Of Reckless Love That Goes Terribly Wrong That Destroys The Woman.

When Catherine Told Me About This (tragedy Nearby), I Could Only Say, Shocked, "dear God, That Family Needs Grace." She Replied Firmly, "that Family Needs Casseroles," And Then Proceeded To Organize The Entire Neighborhood Into Bringing That Family Dinner, In Shifts, Every Single Night, For An Entire Year. I Do Not Know If My Sister Fully Recognizes That This _is_ Grace.

If You Want To Get To The Castle, Groceries, You've Got To Swim The Moat.

Marriage Is An Ongoing, Centuries-long Social Experiment That Is Mostly Controlled By The Individuals In The Relationships Who Insist On Determining What The Relationship Terms Are Going To Be. And That's Why The Terms Of Marriage Change With Every Century And Decade. We're Shaping It From The Inside. Marriage Endures Because It Evolves. Obviously It Does. None Of Us Would Accept Marriage On Its 13th Century Terms, Not Even The Most Conservative People...

Never Forget That Once Upon A Time, In An Unguarded Moment, You Recognized Yourself As A Friend.

Once Upon A Time

Well, Just Remember--all Your Misery Will Be Waiting For You At The Door Upon Your Exit, Should You Care To Pick It Up Again When You Leave.

It Is Completely Acceptable To Be Tired Because It Means You're Working Hard. But It's Not Acceptable To Be Stressed Because That Means Things Are Going Wrong Or Your Head Is Broken.

I Don't Think You Can Say That Feminism Has Made Women Critical Of Marriage Because Women Have Been Critical Of Marriage For Centuries.

What Worked Yesterday Doesn't Always Work Today.

Bali Eat Pray Love

It's So Much Easier And Cheaper To Keep The River Uncontaminated In The First Place Than It Is To Clean It Up Again Once It's Been Polluted.

I Want To Have A Lasting Experience Of God.

He Endeared Himself To Me Forever The First Night We Met, When I Was Getting Frustrated With My Inability To Find The Words I Wanted In Italian, And He Put His Hand On My Arm And Said, "liz, You Must Be Very Polite With Yourself When You Are Learning Something New.

It's Easy Enough To Pray When You're In Distress But Continuing To Pray Even When Your Crisis Has Passed Is Like A Sealing Process, Helping Your Soul Hold Tight To Its Good Attainment.

Before You Realize This Truth, Say The Yogis, You Will Always Be In Despair, A Notion Nicely Expressed In This Exasperated Line From The Greek Stoic Philosopher Epictetus: 'you Bear God Within You, Poor Wretch, And Know It Not.

The Yogic Path Is About Disentangling The Built-in Glitches Of The Human Condition, Which I'm Going To Over-simply Define Here As The Heartbreaking Inability To Sustain Contentment.

I Know What It Feels Like To Be Bruised; I Know What It Feels Like To Carry Things Around With You That Never Totally Heal. There's Closure And Then There's Stuff That's Kind Of Like, Well, I Guess It's Going To Be In The Minivan Forever. And You Carry It With You And You Continue On Your Journey With Your Minivan Full Of Stuff, Which I Think Most Of Us Do.

We Gallop Through Our Lives Like Circus Performers Balancing On Two Speeding Side-by-side Horses--one Foot Is On The Horse Called "fate," The Other On The Horse Called "free Will." And The Question You Have To Ask Every Day Is--which Horse Is Which? Which Horse Do I Need To Stop Worrying About Because It's Not Under My Control, And Which Do I Need To Steer With Concentrated Effort?

My Life's Accomplishments? Sanity, And You.

But Why Must Everything Have A Practical Application? I'd Been Such A Diligent Soldier For Years - Working, Producing, Never Missing A Deadline, Taking Care Of My Loved Ones, My Gums And My Credit Record, Voting, Etc. Is This Lifetime Supposed To Be Only About Duty? In This Dark Period Of Loss, Did I Need Any Justification For Learning Italian Other Than That It Was The Only Thing I Could Imagine Bringing Me Any Pleasure Right Now?

I Have Searched Frantically For Contentment For So Many Years In So Many Ways, And All The Acquisitions And Accomplishments- They Run You Down In The End.

In Every Possible Instance Saint Paul Begged Christians To Restrain Themselves To Contain Their Carnal Yearnings To Live Solitary And Sexless Lives On Earth As It Is In Heaven. "but If They Cannot Contain " Paul Finally Conceded Then "let Them Marry For It Is Better To Marry Than To Burn." Which Is Perhaps The Most Begrudging Endorsement Of Matrimony In Human History.

I'm A Pleaser. That's My Character.

My Life Acccomplishments? Sanity, And You

So Now I Have Started Living My Own Life. Imperfect And Clumsy As It May Look, It Is Resembling Me Now, Thoroughly.

I Said, "it Seems Like You Have Fond Feelings Toward Your Ex-wife. Are You Two Still Close?" "nah," He Said Casually. "she Thinks I Changed My Name To Motherfucker."

True Power Comes From Standing In Your Own Truth And Walking Your Own Path.

That's What We're All Sort Of Trying To Do In Our Lives - To Make The Simplest Things Work Out The Best.

Yet What Keeps Me From Dissolving Right Now Into A Complete Fairy-tale Shimmer Is This Solid Truth, A Truth Which Has Veritably Built My Bones Over The Last Few Years--i Was Not Rescued By A Prince; I Was The Administrator Of My Own Rescue.

I Decide Every Day That I Love Creativity Enough To Accept That Fear Will Always Come With It. And I Talk To Fear All The Time, Speaking To It With Love And Respect, Saying To It: “i Know That You Are Fear, And That Your Job Is To Be Afraid. And You Do Your Job Really Well! I Will Never Ask You To Leave Me Alone Or To Be Silent, Because You Have A Right To Speak Your Own Voice, And I Know That You Will Never Leave Me Alone Or Be Silent, Anyhow. But I Need You To Understand That I Will Always Choose Creativity Over You.

To Show A Longing For Anything That One Cannot Have, For Instance, Is Not A Clever Position.

God Never Slams A Door In Your Face Without Opening A Box Of Girl Scout Cookies.

Equally Disquieting Are The Times When We Do Make A Choice, Only To Later Feel As Though We Have Murdered Some Other Aspect Of Our Being By Settling On One Single Concrete Decision.

We Don't Realize That, Somewhere Within Us All, There Does Exist A Supreme Self Who Is Eternally At Peace.

In A World Of Disorder And Disaster And Fraud, Sometimes Only Beauty Can Be Trusted. Only Artistic Excellence Is Incorruptible. Pleasure Cannot Be Bargained Down. And Sometimes The Meal Is The Only Currency That Is Real.

My Mother Has Made Choices In Her Life, As We All Must, And She Is At Peace With Them. I Can See Her Peace. She Did Not Cop Out On Herself. The Benefits Of Her Choices Are Massive-a Long, Stable Marriage To A Man She Still Calls Her Best Friend; A Family That Has Extended Now Into Grandchildren Who Adore Her; A Certainty In Her Own Strength. Maybe Some Things Were Sacrificed, And My Dad Made His Sacrifices, Too-but Who Amongst Us Lives Without Sacrifice?

Look - I Understand That An Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living, But Do You Think I Could Someday Have An Unexamined Lunch?

The Sound Universe Is Also Spectacular Around Here. In The Evenings There's A Cricket Orchestra With Frogs Providing The Bass Line. In The Dead Of Night The Dogs Howl About How Misunderstood They Are. Before Dawn The Roosters For Miles Around Announce How Freaking Cool It Is To Be Roosters.

I've Ruined My Eyes, I've Ruined My Health From My Studiousness!

You Have No Idea How Strong My Love Is!

I Think My Weakness As A Writer Is A Limited Imagination, And I Think My Strength Is A Talent For Reflecting The World, Or Sort Of Curating Things Out Of The World And Putting Them Into Books.

Balance Is Not Letting Anyone Love You Less Than You Love Yourself.

Marriage Is Those Two Thousand Indistinguishable Conversations, Chatted Over Two Thousand Indistuinguishable Breakfasts, Where Intimacy Turns Like A Slow Wheel. How Do You Measure The Worth Of Becoming That Familiar To Somebody—so Utterly Well Known And So Thoroughly Ever-present That You Become An Almost Invisible Necessity, Like Air?

There Are Always Two Figures In A Marriage, Two Votes, Two Conflicting Sets Of Decisions, Desires And Limitations.

Keep Showing Up For Your Side Of The Job And Give Genius A Chance To Do Its Part.

Whatever This Feeling Is - This Is What I Have Been Praying For. And This Is Also What I Have Been Praying To.

My Love Affair With (him) Had A Wonderful Element Of Romance To It, Which I Will Always Cherish. But It Was Not An Infatuation, And Here’s How I Can Tell: Because I Did Not Demand That He Become My Great Emancipator Or My Source Of All Life, Nor Did I Immediately Vanish Into That Man’s Chest Cavity Like A Twisted, Unrecognizable, Parasitical Homonculus. During Our Long Period Of Courtship, I Remained Intact Within My Own Personality, And I Allowed Myself To Meet (him) For Who He Was.

Moss Grows Where Nothing Else Can Grow. It Grows On Bricks. It Grows On Tree Bark And Roofing Slate. It Grows In The Arctic Circle And In The Balmiest Tropics; It Also Grows On The Fur Of Sloths, On The Backs Of Snails, On Decaying Human Bones. ... It Is A Resurrection Engine. A Single Clump Of Mosses Can Lie Dormant And Dry For Forty Years At A Stretch, And Then Vault Back Again Into Life With A Mere Soaking Of Water.

This Is A Nice Metaphor, Too, About Mothers And Daughters - That When It Came Time For Me To Make My Own, I Was Making A Completely Different Garden Than The One That My Mom Has. They Don't Look Like They Came From Relatives. Hers Is A Very Productive And Pragmatic Vegetable Garden, And Mine Is A Ridiculous Overabundance Of Useless Plants. It Doesn't Feed Anybody, It Doesn't Serve Any Purpose.

When It Seemed Like I Was Going To Really Have To Be There At Todd's [willingham] Execution, I Don't Think I Could Have Done It. I Think I Began To Distance Myself. I Didn't Visit As Often; I Didn't Write As Often. This Was Kind Of After My Conversation With [fire Science Expert] Gerald Hurst. And The [car] Accident Made Sure That I Didn't Have To Go Up There. But I Think He And I Both Shared That.

Guilt's Just Your Ego's Way Of Tricking You Into Thinking That You're Making Moral Progress. Don't Fall For It, My Dear.

I'm Choosing Happiness Over Suffering, I Know I Am. I'm Making Space For The Unknown Future To Fill Up My Life With Yet-to-come Surprises.

According To The Mystics, This Search For Divine Bliss Is The Entire Purpose Of A Human Life. This Is Why We All Chose To Be Born, And This Is Why All The Suffering And Pain Of Life On Earth Is Worthwhile--just For The Chance To Experience This Infinite Love. And Once You Have Found This Divinity Within, Can You Hold It? Because If You Can...bliss.

I Have Good Idea, For If You Meet Some Person From Different Religion And He Want To Make Argument About God. My Idea Is, You Listen To Everything This Man Say About God. Never Argue About God With Him. Best Thing To Say Is, 'i Agree With You.' Then You Go Home, Pray What You Want. This Is My Idea For People To Have Peace About Religion.

Most Of Humanity, He Said, Have Eyes That Are So Caked Shut With The Dust Of Deception They Will Never See The Truth, No Matter Who Tries To Help Them.

Of Course, We All Inevitably Work Too Hard, Then We Get Burned Out And Have To Spend The Whole Weekend In Our Pajamas, Eating Cereal Straight Out Of The Box And Staring At The Tv In A Mild Coma (which Is The Opposite Of Working, Yes, But Not Exactly The Same Thing As Pleasure).

But The Very Fact That This World Is So Challenging Is Exactly Why You Sometimes Must Reach Out Of Its Jurisdiction For Help, Appealing To A Higher Authority In Order To Find Your Comfort.

I Would Like To Spend The Rest Of My Days In A Place So Silent–and Working At A Pace So Slow–that I Would Be Able To Hear Myself Living.

You Take Whatever Works From Wherever You Can Find It, And You Keep Moving Toward The Light.

We're Miserable Because We Think That We Are Mere Individuals, Alone With Our Fears And Flaws And Resentment And Mortality.

My Work Is Incredibly Important To Me Personally. It Brings Me Joy And It Brings Me Life And It Brings Me Meaning. It Doesn't Necessarily Have To Be Important To The People Who Read It.

But, Ancient Greece And Ancient Rome - People Did Not Happen To Believe That Creativity Came From Human Beings Back Then, Ok? People Believed That Creativity Was This Divine Attendant Spirit That Came To Human Beings From Some Distant And Unknowable Source, For Distant And Unknowable Reasons.

I Do Forget Sometimes How Much It Means For Certain Men—for Certain People—to Be Able To Provide Their Loved Ones With Material Comforts And Protection At All Times. I Forget How Dangerously Reduced Some Men Can Feel When That Basic Ability Has Been Stripped From Them. I Forget How Much That Matters To Men, What It Represents.

Look For God. Look For God Like A Man With His Head On Fire Looks For Water.

The Only Thing More Unthinkable Than Leaving Was Staying; The Only Thing More Impossible Than Staying Was Leaving. I Didn't Want To Destroy Anything Or Anybody. I Just Wanted To Slip Quietly Out The Back Door, Without Causing Any Fuss Or Consequences, And Then Not Stop Running Until I Reached Greenland.

Then Again, You Cannot Stop The Flood Of Desire As It Moves Through The World, Inappropriate Though It May Sometimes Be. It Is The Prerogative Of All Humans To Make Ludicrous Choices, To Fall In Love With The Most Unlikely Of Partners, And To Set Themselves Up For The Most Predicatable Of Calamities.

Falling In Love

What If We Just Acknowledged That We Have A Bad Relationship, And We Stuck It Out, Anyway? What If We Admitted That We Make Each Other Nuts, We Fight Constantly And Hardly Ever Have Sex, But We Can't Live Without Each Other, So We Deal With It? And Then We Could Spend Our Lives Together - In Misery, But Happy To Not Be Apart.

Bad Relationship

The Act Of Quiet Nighttime Talking, Illustrates For Me More Than Anything Else The Curious Alchemy Of Companionship.

You Must Stop Looking At The World Through Your Head. You Must Look Through Your Heart, Instead.

What Happens And What You Encounter, What You Collide With - It's So Exciting And Revealing About How Much More Interesting And Tricky The Universe Is Than We Think In Our Daily Lives.

What A Large Number Of Factors Constitute A Single Human Being! How Very Many Layers We Operate On, And How Very Many Influences We Receive From Our Minds, Our Bodies, Our Histories, Our Families, Our Cities, Our Souls And Our Lunches!

The Resting Place Of The Mind Is The Heart. The Only Thing The Mind Hears All Day Is Clanging Bells And Noise And Argument, And All It Wants Is Quietude. The Only Place The Mind Will Ever Find Peace Is Inside The Silence Of The Heart. That's Where You Need To Go.

There's Nothing Special About Your Fear.

I Had Always Been Taught That The Pursuit Of Happiness Was My Natural (even National) Birthright. It Is The Emotional Trademark Of My Culture To Seek Happiness. Not Just Any Kind Of Happiness, Either, But Profound Happiness, Even Soaring Happiness. And What Could Possibly Bring A Person More Soaring Happiness Than Romantic Love.

Pursuit Of Happiness

Clearing Out All Your Misery Gets You Out Of The Way. You Cease Being An Obstacle, Not Only To Yourself But To Anyone Else. Only Then Are You Free To Serve And Enjoy Other People.

Also, I Could Finally Sleep. And This Was The Real Gift, Because When You Cannot Sleep, You Cannot Get Yourself Out Of The Ditch--there's Not A Chance.

I Wanted To Experience Both. I Wanted Worldly Enjoyment And Divine Transcendence. I Wanted What The Greeks Called Kalos Kai Agathos, The Singular Balance Of The Good And The Beautiful. I'd Been Missing Both During These Last Hard Years, Because Both Pleasure And Devotion Require A Stress-free Space In Which To Flourish And I'd Been Living In A Giant Trash Compactor Of Nonstop Anxiety. As For How To Balance The Urge For Pleasure Against The Longing For Devotion...well, Surely There Was A Way To Learn That Trick.

Moss Is Inconceivably Strong. Moss Eats Stone; Scarcely Anything, In Return, Eats Moss. Moss Dines Upon Boulders, Slowly But Devastatingly, In A Meal That Lasts For Centuries. Given Enough Time, A Colony Of Moss Can Turn A Cliff Into Gravel, And Turn That Gravel Into Topsoil.

Why Must Everything Be Repeat And Repeat, Never Finish, Never Resting? You Work So Hard One Day, But The Next Day You Must Only Work Again. You Eat, But The Next Day, You Are Already Hungry. You Find Love, Then Love Goes Away. You Are Born With Nothing, You Work Hard, Then You Die With Nothing. You Are Young, Then You Are Old. No Matter How Hard You Work, You Cannot Stop Getting Old. - Wayan

Only The Young And Stupid Are Confident About Sex And Romance.

I Was Just Really Appalled, And I Really Kept Quiet Until I Saw The Governor [rick Perry] Get On And Repeat The Same Words That The Prosecution Had Used In The Penalty Phase: That He [todd Willingham] Was A Monster. And That Got Me To Get On To The Computer And Connect With Some Of The Media And Say: "i Have His Letters. He Wasn't A Monster. He Was A Caring Individual." Let Them See Another Side.

Devotion Is Diligence Without Assurance. If Faith Were Rational, It Wouldn't Be By Definition Faith. Faith Is Walking Face-first And Full Speed Into The Dark.

There Is A Level Of Grief So Deep That It Stops Resembling Grief At All. The Pain Becomes So Severe That The Body Can No Longer Feel It. The Grief Cauterizes Itself, Scars Over, Prevents Inflated Feeling. Such Numbness Is A Kind Of Mercy.

We Alter And Customize The Thing Every Century, Every Generation, Every Day - Both In The Courts And In Our Own Homes. And Marriage Accepts Our Modifications Gracefully. Marriage Adapts, Evolves And (in A Manner That I Find Miraculous And Kind Of Inspiring) Somehow Keeps Chugging Along.

Never Go Into Debt To Become A Writer. Always Find Other Ways To Support Yourself So You Can Do The Work You Truly Love For The Right Reasons. Never Ask Your Art To Support You. If You Ask Your Art To Support You It Will Either End Up Comprised Or You'll Be Disappointed With It. It's A Lot To Ask Of Creativity For It To Provide For You Financially. Find A Scrappy Way To Get By And Then Do The Work You Love For The Reasons You Love.

We Live In This Society Where You Must Constantly Be Reinventing Yourself. The Big Question Is What Are You Doing Next. The Only Thing They Want Is Composed Of These Three Elements: They Want You To Do It The Exact Same Way Because They Want More Of It; But They Want It To Be Totally Different; And They Want It To Be Better. That's All You Have To Do. You Just Have To Do Something That's Exactly The Same, Totally Different, And Better.

The Appreciation Of Pleasure Can Be The Anchor Of Humanity.

Even In The Worst Tragedies And Crisis, There’s No Reason To Add To Everyone’s Misery By Looking Miserable Yourself.

What Kind Of Dog Is That?" I Would Always Give The Same Answer: "she's A Brown Dog." Similarly, When The Question Is Raised, "what Kind Of God Do You Believe In?" My Answer Is Easy: "i Believe In A Magnificent God.

Stop Wearing Your Wishbone Where Your Backbone Ought To Be.

To Lose Balance Sometimes For Love Is Part Of Living A Balanced Life.

I'm An Enormous Product Of My Century, I'm A Product Of My Upbringing. I Was Not Aware Of The Fact That I Was Entering Marriage With The Highest Set Of Expectations That Humans Have Ever Brought To The Institution. It Was Really Good To Find That Out. It Doesn't Have To Be The Alpha And The Omega, The Beginning And The End, The Moon And The Stars - It Can Just Be The Moon. It's Enough That It Just Can Be What It Is.

We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Drastic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality. To Know God, You Only Need To Renounce One Thing - Your Sense Of Division From God

Just As There Exists In Writing A Literal Truth And A Poetic Truth, There Also Exists In A Human Being A Literal Anatomy And A Poetic Anatomy. One, You Can See; One, You Cannot. One Is Made Of Bones And Teeth And Flesh; The Other Is Made Of Energy And Memory And Faith. But They Are Both Equally True.

Dear Lord, Please Show Me Everything I Need To Understand About Forgiveness And Surrender

Il Bel Far Niente Means 'the Beauty Of Doing Nothing'... [it] Has Always Been A Cherished Italian Ideal. The Beauty Of Doing Nothing Is The Goal Of All Your Work, The Final Accomplishment For Which You Are Most Highly Congratulated. The More Exquisitely And Delightfully You Can Do Nothing, The Higher Your Life's Achievement. You Don't Necessarily Need To Be Rich In Order To Experience This, Either.

This Is Intimacy: The Trading Of Stories In The Dark.

So Sadness Is A Place?' Giovanni Asked. 'sometimes People Live There For Years,'i Said.

This Person Had Arrived, He Had Illuminated Her, He Had Ensorcelled Her With Notions Of Miracle And Beauty, He Had Both Understood And Misunderstood Her, He Had Married Her, He Had Broken Her Heart, He Had Looked Upon Her With Those Sad And Hopeless Eyes, He Had Accepted His Banishment, And Now He Was Gone. What A Stark And Stunning Thing Was Life- That Such A Cataclysm Can Enter And Depart So Quickly, And Leave Such Wreckage Behind!

Every Few Years, I Think, 'maybe Now I'm Finally Smart Enough Or Sophisticated Enough To Understand 'ulysses.'' So I Pick It Up And Try It Again. And By Page 10, As Always, I'm Like, 'what The Hell?'

There Is A Theory That If You Yearn Sincerely Enough For A Guru, You Will Find One. The Universe Will Shift, Destiny's Molecules Will Get Themselves Organized And Your Path Will Soon Intersect With The Path Of The Master You Need.

I Tried To Reassure Him With Every Line About How The World Is Hard And Unfair Sometimes, But That It's All Ok Because He Is So Loved. He Is Surrounded By Souls Who Would Do Anything To Help Him. And Not Only That--he Has Wisdom And Patience Of His Own, Buried Deep Inside His Being, Which Will Only Reveal Themselves Over Time And Will Always Carry Him Through Any Trial. He Is A Gift From God To All Of Us.

I See Women Who Have This Struggle Between What They Know Is Right, What They Know Is Necessary, What They Know Is Healthy, What They Know Is Good For Them, What They Know Is Good For The Work That They Need To Do, What They Know Is Good For Their Bodies, What They Know Is Good For Their Families - All Too Often Ending That Statement With The Upturned Question Mark: "if It's Okay With Everyone?" Still Asking, Still Requesting, Still Filing Petitions For Somebody To Say That It's All Right.

Parla Come Magni,' It Means, 'speak The Way You Eat,' Or In My Personal Translation: 'say It Like You Eat It.' It's A Reminder - When You're Making A Big Deal Out Of Explaining Something, When You're Searching For The Right Words - To Keep Your Language As Simple And Direct As Roman Rood. Don't Make A Big Production Out Of It. Just Lay It On The Table.

The Number 108 Is Held To Be The Most Auspicious, A Perfect Three-digit Multiple Of Three, Its Components Adding Up To 9, Which Is Three Threes. And 3, Of Course, Is The Number Representing Supreme Balance.

If Todd [willingham] Was Guilty Of Anything, It Was Just His Self-preservation. He Got Up And Ran Out Of The House And Then Thought About The Children After The Fact.

This Was Not My Moment To Be Seeking Romance And (as Day Follows Night) To Further Complicate My Already Knotty Life. This Was My Moment To Look For The Kind Of Healing And Peace That Can Only Come From Solitude.

I Never Wanted To Be The Person That Waited For A Stranger To Come To Town - I Wanted To Be The Stranger!

I'd Learned Enough From Life's Experiences To Understand That Destiny's Interventions Can Sometimes Be Read As Invitation For Us To Address And Even Surmount Our Biggest Fears. It Doesn't Take A Great Genius To Recognize That When You Are Pushed By Circumstance To Do The One Thing You Have Always Most Specifically Loathed And Feared, This Can Be, At The Very Least, An Interesting Growth Opportunity.

I Think It's Unfortunate That There Exists Only One Path In America To Complete Social Legitimacy, And That Is Marriage. I Think, For Instance, That It Would Be Far Easier For Americans To Elect A Black President Or A Female President Than An Unmarried President.

Until I Can Feel As Ecstatic About Having A Baby As I Felt About Going To New Zealand To Search For Giant Squid, I Cannot Have A Baby.

Embrace The Glorious Mess That You Are

[my Friend And I] Decided, We'll Go To Corsicana, And We'll See What The People In Corsicana Say. ... We Just Started Meeting People And Talking To Them, And The More I Heard The Stories, The More Red Flags Kept Popping Up. There Was This Disconnect Between This Person [todd Willingham] That I'm Reading In The Court Records, The Prosecutor's Statements, And This Person That I'm Learning About.

If I'm Being Forgiving Of Myself, I Could Say I'm Somebody Who Was Really Hungry For Experiences. The Same Thing That Would Make Me Go Try To Be A Trail Cook On A Ranch Was The Same Thing That Would Make Me Want To Have Sex With A Couple Cowboys While I Was There.

Sometimes Out Hearts Are Broken So New Light Can Get In.

Learn Your Way Around Loneliness. Make A Map Of It. Sit With It, For Once In Your Life. Welcome To The Human Experience.

You Can Measure The Happiness Of A Marriage By The Number Of Scars That Each Partner Carries On Their Tongues, Earned From Years Of Biting Back Angry Words.

I Am Burdened With What The Buddhists Call The Monkey Mind. The Thoughts That Swing From Limb To Limb, Stopping Only To Scratch Themselves, Spit And Howl. My Mind Swings Wildly Through Time, Touching On Dozens Of Ideas A Minute, Unharnessed And Undisciplined. You Are, After All, What You Think. Your Emotions Are The Slaves To Your Thoughts, And You Are The Slave To Your Emotions.

The Hero's Journey Is Simply Who We Are As Human Beings.

And Then, In That Regal Silence, Finally - I Began To Meditate On (and With) God.

A Creative Life Is An Amplified Life. It's A Bigger Life, A Happier Life, An Expanded Life, And A Hell Of A Lot More Interesting Life. Living In This Manner-continually And Stubbornly Bringing Forth The Jewels That Are Hidden Within You-is A Fine Art, In And Of Itself.

The Only Boring People I Know Are Bored People.

Longing To Travel While You Are Already Traveling Is, I Admit, A Kind Of Greedy Madness

God Isn't Interested In Watching You Enact Some Performance Of Personality In Order To Comply With Some Crackpot Notion You Have About How A Spiritual Person Looks Or Behaves. We All Seem To Get This Idea That, In Order To Be Sacred, We Have To Make Some Massive, Dramatic Change Of Character, That We Have To Renounce Our Individuality.

What I Object To Is The Hyper-fetishized Wedding Day, The Prioritizing Of Wedding Over Marriage. I Have A Real Problem With Couples Spending Far More Time Discussing The Seating Arrangement Or The Color Of The Bridesmaid's Gowns Than Hashing Out, For Instance, Their Feelings About How They Intend To Handle Questions Of Housework, Child-rearing, Finances And Fidelity For The Next Four Or Five Decades.

There's Only One Problem With The Hero's Journey, It Never Included Women.

The Mosquitoes Here Are Big Enough To Rape A Chicken.

I Have Had Work Or Ideas Come Through Me From A Source That I Honestly Cannot Identify. And What Is That Thing? And How Are We To Relate To It In A Way That Will Not Make Us Lose Our Minds, But, In Fact, Might Actually Keep Us Sane?

Someday You're Gonna Look Back On This Moment Of Your Life As Such A Sweet Time Of Grieving. You'll See That You Were In Mourning And Your Heart Was Broken, But Your Life Was Changing.

The Search For God Is A Reversal Of The Normal, Mundane Worldly Order. In Search For God, You Revert From What Attracts You And Swim Toward That Which Is Difficult. You Abandon Your Comforting And Familiar Habits With The Hope (the Mere Hope!) That Something Greater Will Be Offered You In Return For What You Have Given Up.. If We Truly Knew All The Answers In Advance As To The Meaning Of Life And The Nature Of God And The Destiny Of Our Souls, Our Belief Would Not Be A Leap Of Faith And It Would Not Be A Courageous Act Of Humanity; It Would Just Be.. A Prudent Insurance Policy.

Women Come Into Marriage With Great Inflated Expectations For What They Want This Relationship To Be, And Men Don't Give It That Much Thought. Men Come Into It With Reluctance About Being Capsized Or Trapped Or Whatever Their Fear Is. When You Check In Later, Women Are Disappointed Because Their Expectations Have Not Come To Pass, And Men Are Pleasantly Surprised.

When You Have Only Two Minutes To Say Good-bye To The Person You Love Most In The World, And You Don’t Know When You’ll See Each Other Again, You Can Become Logjammed With The Effort To Say And Do And Settle Everything At Once.

There Is No Choice More Intensely Personal, After All, Than Whom You Choose To Marry; That Choice Tells Us, To A Large Extent, Who You Are.

Every Woman Deserves A Man That Can Make Her Heart Forget That It Was Ever Broken. Even If These Have Been Broken To Pieces To Me,this Represents A Person Who Gave Me A Complete,flawless Heart. I Don't Need Someone Who Makes My Heart Whole. Instead, I Need Someone Who Will Never Let Me Feel Broken. This Is A Good Sign, Having A Broken Heart. It Means We Have Tried For Something.

Your Home Is Whatever In This World You Love More Than You Love Yourself.

Nobody Wants To Do It - Not Real Change, Not Soul Change, Not The Painful Molecular Change Required To Truly Become Who You Need To Be. Nobody Ever Does Real Transformation For Fun. Nobody Ever Does It On A Dare. You Do It Only When Your Back Is So Far Against The Wall That You Have No Choice Anymore.

I Was Full Of A Hot, Powerful Sadness And Would Have Loved To Burst Into The Comfort Of Tears, But Tried Hard Not To, Remembering Something My Guru Once Said -- That You Should Never Give Yourself A Chance To Fall Apart Because, When You Do, It Becomes A Tendency And It Happens Over And Over Again. You Must Practice Staying Strong, Instead.

Maturity Brings - Among Other Things - The Ability To Sustain And Survive Enormous Contradictions And Disappointments.

Now Imagine A Life In Which Every Day A Person Is Presented With Not Two Or Even Three But Dozens Of Choices, And You Can Begin To Grasp Why The Modern World Has Become, Even With All Its Advantages, A Neurosis-generating Machine Of The Highest Order.

I Spent A Week Living As A Man. Which Was Actually, I'm Sorry To Say, Embarrassingly Easy For Me To Do.

I Was The Baby Of The Family, But I Was Never Babied, And That Allowed Me To Take Whatever Artistic Temperament I Had And Apply Learned Discipline. I Was Taught How To Work. I Think That's Everything. Creativity And Imagination Alone Are Not Going To Get You There.

There Is So Much About My Fate That I Cannot Control, But Other Things Do Fall Under My Jurisdiction. There Are Certain Lottery Tickets I Can Buy, Thereby Increasing My Odds Of Finding Contentment. I Can Decide How I Spend My Time, Whom I Interact With, Whom I Share My Body And Life And Money And Energy With.

Absolute Certainty Is Not Something I Strive For Anymore. I've Learned The Hard Way That Destiny Usually Looks Upon Our Most Strident Convictions With Amusement, Or Perhaps Even Pity.

The Great Sufi Poet And Philosopher Rumi Once Advised His Students To Write Down The Three Things They Most Wanted In Life. If Any Item On The List Clashes With Any Other Item, Rumi Warned, You Are Destined For Unhappiness. Better To Live A Life Of Single-pointed Focus, He Taught. But What About The Benefits Of Living Harmoniously Among Extremes? What If You Could Somehow Create An Expansive Enough Life That You Could Synchronize Seemingly Incongruous Opposites Into A Worldview That Excludes Nothing?

The Yogic Scriptures Say That God Responds To The Sacred Prayers And Efforts Of Human Beings In Any Way Whatsoever That Mortals Choose To Worship - Just So Long As Those Prayers Are Sincere.

Most Of All, I Can Choose My Thoughts.

Bali Eat Pray Love

Travel Is Similar To Therapy. You Can Go To The Best Psychologist In The World For Ten Years. If You Don't Feel Like Actively Shifting Anything In Your Life, There Is Nothing That Person Can Do To Change You.

Women Are Capable Of Enduring A Tremendous Amount Of Disappointment And Still Have A Good Life.

I Was A Veritable Johnny Appleseed Of Grand Expectations, And All I Reaped For My Trouble Was A Harvest Of Bitter Fruit.

I’m Here. I Love You. I Don’t Care If You Need To Stay Up Crying All Night Long, I Will Stay With You... There’s Nothing You Can Ever Do To Lose My Love. I Will Protect You Until You Die, And After Your Death I Will Still Protect You. I Am Stronger Than Depression And I Am Braver Than Loneliness And Nothing Will Ever Exhaust Me.

The Only Thing You Need To Do For Now Is Get Some Rest And Take Good Care Of Yourself Until You Do Know The Answer

Richard Didn't Even Have Time To Ask If I Thought I'd Ever Amount To Anything In This Life Before I Looked Him Eye To Eye And Said, "i Already Have, Mister.

I'm Afraid Many Women Do Choose The Wedding Over The Marriage. It Seems A Steep Price To Pay, But It Comes From A Place Of Deep, Sad Longing To Be Loved And To Have It Proven That You Are Of Value.

I Wonder If I Am Capable Of Being Somebody’s Sun, Somebody’s Everything. Am I Centered Enough Now To Be The Center Of Somebody Else’s Life?

As For Discipline—it's Important, But Sort Of Overrated. The More Important Virtue For A Writer, I Believe, Is Self-forgiveness. Because Your Writing Will Always Disappoint You. Your Laziness Will Always Disappoint You.

The Thing That I Do Try To Convey Is, Don't Do What I Did - But Ask What I Asked.

Admittedly, I Am Not The One Who Looks Fantastic In Everything, But Still I Cannot Help Loving Myself.

The Little Fishing Boat Anchors Right Off The Shore Of Gili Meno. There Are No Docks Here On This Island. You Have To Roll Up Your Pants, Jump Off The Boat And Wade In Through The Surf On Your Own Power. There's Absolutely No Way To Do This Without Getting Soaking Wet Or Even Banged Up On The Coral, But It's Worth All The Trouble Because The Beach Here Is So Beautiful, So Special

So I Stood Up And Did A Handstand On My Guru's Roof, To Celebrate The Notion Of Liberation. I Felt The Dusty Tiles Under My Hands. I Felt My Own Strength And Balance. I Felt The Easy Night Breeze On The Palms Of My Bare Feet. This Kind Of Thing -- A Spontaneous Handstand--isn't Something A Disembodied Cool Blue Soul Can Do, But A Human Being Can Do It. We Have Hands; We Can Stand On Them If We Want To. That's Our Privilege. That's The Joy Of A Mortal Body. And That's Why God Needs Us. Because God Loves To Feel Things Through Our Hands.

When I Tried This Morning, After An Hour Or So Of Unhappy Thinking, To Dip Back Into My Meditation, I Took A New Idea With Me: Compassion. I Asked My Heart If It Could Please Infuse My Soul With A More Generous Perspective On My Mind's Workings. Instead Of Thinking That I Was A Failure, Could I Perhaps Accept That I Am Only A Human Being--and A Normal One, At That?

I Don't Think You Can Come Into Your Wisdom Until You Have Made Mistakes On Your Own Skin And Felt Them In Reality Of Your Own Life.

I Have Far More Enthusiasm In Life Than I Have Actual Energy. In My Excitement, I Routinely Take On More That I Can Physically Or Emotionally Handle, Which Causes Me To Break Down In Quite Predictable Displays Of Dramatic Exhaustion. You Will Be The One Burdened With The Job Of Mopping Me Up Every Time I've Overextended Myself And Then Fallen Apart. This Will Be Unbelievably Tedious. I Apologize In Advance.

I Think There's More Real In The Unreal Than There Is In The Real.

He Was Still My Romantic Hero And I Was Still His Living Dream

Addiction Is The Hallmark Of Every Infatuation-based Love Story.

In Venice In The Middle Ages There Was Once A Profession For A Man Called A Codega--a Fellow You Hired To Walk In Front Of You At Night With A Lit Lantern, Showing You The Way, Scaring Off Thieves And Demons, Bringing You Confidence And Protection Through The Dark Streets.

Traveling Is The Great True Love Of My Life... I Am Loyal And Constant In My Love Of Travel. I Feel About Travel The Way A Happy New Mother Feels About Her Impossible, Colicky, Restless Newborn Baby - I Just Don't Care What It Puts Me Through. Because I Adore It. Because It's Mine. Because It Looks Exactly Like Me.

Love Of My Life

I Have These New Policies Toward My Life, Like 'i Will Not Accelerate When I See The Yellow Light.'

If I Could Read While I Was Driving, Showering, Socializing Or Sleeping, I Would Do It.

To Be Fully Seen By Somebody, Then, And Be Loved Anyhow - This Is A Human Offering That Can Border On Miraculous.

And When You Sense A Faint Potentiality For Happiness After Such Dark Times You Must Grab Onto The Ankles Of That Happiness And Not Let Go Until It Drags You Face-first Out Of The Dirt - This Is Not Selfishness, But Obligation. You Were Given Life; It Is Your Duty To Find Something Beautiful Within Life No Matter How Slight.

Take Me Someplace Where We Can Be Silent Together.

Todd's Mother Had Several Children By Different Fathers, And Todd [willingham] Had Been Abandoned In California. ... He's A Good-looking Man. He Was A Witty Man, You Know? Funny, Caring. He Wasn't Arrogant, But He Was Kind Of Set In His Ways. If He Thought Something, It Was One Way. You Could Show Him An Alternative, But He Was Still Going To Stick By His Particular View. But I Could See How To Women He Could Be A Very Charming, Good-looking Guy, Especially When He Was Younger.

Sanity And Clarity Are More Important For Me And I'm Willing To Give Up A Lot Of Shimmer For It. I'm Willing To Have More Boring Friends, Who Are Sane.

I Think That If You Can Roast A Chicken, You Can Get Whatever You Want Out Of A Woman. Maybe It's Just Me But I Would Suspect That A Man Trying To Impress A Woman Would Be More Likely To Bring Out The Steak - "i Killed This For You, Now I'm Grilling It For You."... A Man That Can Cook You A Proper Meal That Is Like A Weekday Meal - Which I Think Cannot Be Better Than In The Form Of A Roast Chicken - That's The Greatest.

The Mysterious Magnet Is Either There, Buried Somewhere Deep Behind The Sternum, Or It Is Not.

Desiring Another Person Is Perhaps The Most Risky Endeavor Of All. As Soon As You Want Somebody—really Want Him—it Is As Though You Have Taken A Surgical Needle And Sutured Your Happiness To The Skin Of That Person, So That Any Separation Will Now Cause A Lacerating Injury.

Everything Good I've Ever Gotten In Life, I Only Got Because I Gave Something Else Up.

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