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I Try To Craft Books That Are Fun, That Are Sort Of Subversively Educational So Kids Learn But They Don't Really Feel Like They're Being Lectured To, And I Want Kids To Always Finish One Of My Books And Think, "that Was Great, Where's The Next One?"

-Rick Riordan

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I Try To Craft

Rick Riordan

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I Try To Craft Books That Are Fun, That Are Sort Of Subversively Educational So Kids Learn But They Don't Really Feel Like They're Being Lectured To, And I Want Kids To Always Finish One Of My Books And Think, "that Was Great, Where's The Next One?"

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More From Rick Riordan

Oh, Did You Expect Me To Play Fair?" Cupid Laughed. "i Am The God Of Love. I Am Never Fair.

Tell You What," I Said. "after The Testing After The Demon Days, When Things Settle Down -" "things Won't Settle Down." "- I'm Going To Take You To The Mall." She Blinked. "the Mall? For What Reason?" "to Hang Out," I Said. "we'll Get Some Hamburgers. See A Movie." Zia Hesitated. "is This What You'd Call A 'date'?" My Expression Must Have Been Priceless, Because Zia Actually Cracked A Smile. "you Look Like A Cow Hit With A Shovel.

Well, I Hope You Like It Here, Leo. It Used To Be .......really Nice.

Tyson! Thank The Gods, Annabeth Is Hurt!" "you Thank The Gods That She Is Hurt?" He Asked, Puzzled.

I Excel At Pulling Strings!” Said Arachne. “i’m A Spider!

My Point Is That Love Is The Most Powerful Motivator In The World. It Spurs Mortals To Greatness. Their Noblest, Bravest Acts Are Done For Love.

Piper Gave Lit A Friendly Sorry-about-that Smile. Even With Her Hair Messed Up And Wearing Two-day-old Clothes, She Looked Extremely Cute, And Jason Felt A Little Jealous She Was Giving Lit That Smile.

Butch Hesitated. "annabeth's Okay. You Gotta Cut Her Some Slack. She Had A Vision Telling Her To Come Here, To Find A Guy With One Shoe. That Was Supposed To Be The Answer To Her Problem." "what Problem?" Piper Asked. "she's Been Looking For One Of Our Campers, Who's Been Missing Three Days," Butch Said. "she's Going Out Of Her Mind With Worry. She Hoped He'd Be Here." "who?" Jason Asked. "her Boyfriend," Butch Said, "a Guy Named Percy Jackson.

I'm Afraid Not." Hades Sighed. "my Son Here Convinced Me That Perhaps I Should Prioritize My List Of Enemies." He Glared At Me With Distaste. "as Much As I Dislike Certain Upstart Demigods, It Would Not Do For Olympus To Fall. I Would Miss Bickering With My Siblings. And If There Is One Thing We Agree On - It Is That You Were A Terrible Father.

I Couldn’t Miss Percy’s Fifteenth Birthday,” Poseidon Said. “why, If This Were Sparta, Percy Would Be A Man Today!” "that’s True,” Paul Said. “i Used To Teach Ancient History.” Poseidon’s Eyes Twinkled. “that’s Me. Ancient History.

Words Had Started Swimming Off The Page, Circling My Head, The Letters Doing One-eighties As If They Were Riding Skateboards.

Hope," Frank Grumbled. "i'd Rather Have A Few Good Weasels.

My Glowing Form Was So Heavy, Its Feet Sank Into The Top Of The Tank. “sekhmet!” I Yelled. The Lioness Whirled And Snarled, Trying To Locate My Voice. “up Here, Kitty!” I Called. She Spotted Me And Her Ears Went Back. “horus?” ‘unless You Know Another Guy With A Falcon Head.

Life Is Only Precious Because It Ends, Kid. Take It From A God. You Mortals Don't Know How Lucky You Are

I Need To Use The Dam Bathroom, I Need To Use The Dam Snack Bar, I Want A Dam Tee-shirt.

They Had A Silent Staring Contest, But Percy Didn’t Back Down. When He And Annabeth Started Dating, His Mother Had Drummed It Into His Head: It’s Good Manners To Walk Your Date To The Door. If That Was True, It Had To Be Good Manners To Walk Her To The Start Of Her Epic Solo Death Quest.

Annabeth Looked At Me. " We Have To Get Out Of Here." " You Think I Want To Be In The Girls' Restroom?" " I Mean The Ship, Percy! We Have To Get Off The Ship." " Smells Bad," Tyson Agreed. " And Dogs Eat All The Eggs. Annabeth Is Right. We Must Leave The Restroom And The Ship.

This Is Buford,” Leo Announced. “you Name Your Furniture?” Frank Asked.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

To Business."tux Dude Extended His Hand. "i Am Prometheus." I Was Too Surprised To Shake."the Fire-stealer Guy?the Chained-to-the-rock-with-the-vultures Guy?" Prometheus Winced. He Touched The Scratches On His Face."please, Don't Mention The Vultures. But Yes, I Stole Fire From The Gods And Gave It To Your Ancestors. In Return, The Ever Merciful Zeus Had Me Chained To A Rock And Tortured For All Eternity.

Elections Only Happen In Two Ways," Reyna Said. "either The Legion Raises Someone On A Shield After A Major Success On The Battlefield-and We Haven't Had Any Major Battles-or We Hold A Ballot On The Evening Of June 24, At The Feast Of Fortuna. That's In Five Days." Percy Frowned. "you Have A Feast For Tuna?

My Goal In The Classroom Was Always To Make Sure They Were Having So Much Fun That They Didn't Realize They Were Learning.

I Wasn't Sure Whether I Was Supposed To Kneel Or Buy Stamps From Him Or What.

You Have To Be Compelled To Write. If You’re Not, Nothing Else That You Do Matters.

There!" Apollo Pointed. "long Island, Dead Ahead. Let's Slow Down, Dear. 'dead' Is Only An Expression.

If I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

I Wondered If Olympus Had Gone To A Commercial Break, Or If Our Ratings Had Been Any Good.

I Heard Amos Yell, “for Brooklyn!” It Was An Odd Battle Cry.

I Think Anytime You're Writing To The Middle Grades, You're Writing To Young Readers Who Are Trapped In A Number Of Ways Between Two Worlds: Between Childhood And Adulthood, Between Their Friends And Their Parents.

I Hate To Tell You This,” Jason Said, “but I Think Your Leopard Just Ate A Goddess.

People Usually Asked Her If She Had A Belly Button. Of Course She Had A Belly Button. She Couldn't Explain How. She Didn't Really Want To Know.

Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

Go Chase A Donut. -percy Jackson.

My Resolve, My Anger, Even My Grief Gave Me Confidence

I Said Hello To The Poodle.

Piper Patted His Shoulder. “trust Me, Valdez. Beautiful People Never Lie.

I Have A Great Deal Of Sympathy For Reluctant Readers Because I Was One. I Would Do Anything To Avoid Reading. In My Case, It Wasn't Until I Was 13 And Discovered The 'lord Of The Rings' That I Learned To Love Reading.

Imagine Jumping Into A Pit Of Boiling Acid. Now Multiply That Pain Times Fifty." -percy

I Don't Feel That Way Anymore," Nico Muttered. "i Mean... I Gave Up On Percy. I Was Young And Impressionable, And I- I Don't..." His Voice Cracked, And Jason Could Tell The Guy Was About To Get Teary-eyed. Whether Nico Had Really Given Up On Percy Or Not, Jason Couldn't Imagine What It Had Been Like For Nico All Those Years, Keeping A Secret That Would've Been Unthinkable To Share In The 1940s, Denying Who He Was, Feeling Completely Alone- Even More Isolated Than Other Demigods. "nico," He Said Gently, "i've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

And Togheter, Holding Hands, He And Annabeth Fell Into The Endless Darkness

June Cackled With Delight, Muttering, "whoops!" As A Car Almost Killed Them.

I'd Love To Tell You I Had Some Deep Revelation On My Way Down, That I Came To Terms With My Own Mortality, Laughed In The Face Of Death, Et Cetera. The Truth? My Only Thought Was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

Sadie Kane Here. If You're Listening To This, Congratulations, You Survived Doomsday.

Congratulations

Maybe, Standing Next To The Obelisk Of Ma’at, Surrounded By The Sea Of Chaos, We Both Realized That Restraining Ourselves From Vengeance Is What Made Us Different From Apophis. Rules Had Their Place. They Kept Us From Unraveling.

Percy Looked At Coach Hedge And Frank. “a Trap?” “probably,” Frank Said. “she’s Not Mortal,” Hedge Said, Sniffing The Air. “probably Some Kind Of Goat-eating, Demigod-destroying Fiend From Tartarus.” “no Doubt,” Percy Agreed. “awesome.” Hedge Grinned. “let’s Go.

Back Up Shall We? When My Brother, The Crazy Chicken Warrior, Turned Into A Falcon And Went Up The Pyramid’s Chimney With His New Friend, The Fruit Bat, He Left Me Playing Nurse To Two Very Wounded People—which I Didn’t Appreciate, And Which I Wasn’t Particularly Good At.

But How Do We Even Get To The Land Of The Dead?” I Asked. “i Mean…without Dying.

And Do You Know What A Full-fledged War Would Look Like, Percy?" "bad?" I Guessed. "imagine The World In Chaos. Nature At War With Itself. Olympians Forced To Choose Sides Between Zeus Amd Poseidon. Destruction. Carnage. Millions Dead. Western Civilization Turned Into A Battleground So Big It Will Make The Trojan War Look Like A Water-balloon Fight." "bad," I Repeated.

Gabe Scratched His Double Chin. "maybe If You Hurry With The Seven-layer Dip...and Maybe If The Kid Apologizes For Interrupting My Poker Game." Maybe If I Kick You In Your Soft Spot, I Thought. And Make You Sing Soprano For A Week.

We Had Enough Quite Enough Snobbery In This World Without Exporting It To The Hereafter.

Pizza! Hockey! Destroy!" -cal

Her Hair Is Smoldering. Her Face Was Smudged With Soot. She Had A Cut On Her Arms, Her Dress Was Torn, And She Was Missing A Boot. Beautiful.

Want A Cookie,' Ra Said. 'what Kind?' 'weasel Cookie.' I'm Here To Tell You, That Comment About Weasel Cookies Probably Saved The Known Universe.

I Stared At Her. Maybe I Wasn't The Brightest Guy In The World When It Came To Girls, But I Was Pretty Sure Rachel Had Just Dumped Me, Which Was Lame Considering We'd Never Even Been Together.

The Best People Have The Rottenest Luck

Being Turned Into A Lizard Can Really Mess Up Your Day.

Not Knowing Is Half The Fun," Aphrodite Said, "exquisitely Painful Isn't It? Not Being Sure Who You Love And Who Loves You? Oh, You Kids! It's So Cute I'm Going To Cry!

That's Because We Keep Weapons Int The Attic, Silly Boy. Do You Think This Is The First Time Monsters Have Attacked Our Family?" "weapons," Frank Grumbled. "right. I've Never Handled Weapons Before." Grandmother's Nostrils Flared. "was That Sarcasm, Fai Zhang?" "yes, Grandmother." "good. There May Be Hope For You Yet.

If You’re Listening To This, Congratulations! You Survived Doomsday. I’d Like To Apologize Straightaway For Any Inconvenience The End Of The World May Have Caused You. The Earthquakes, Rebellions, Riots,tornadoes, Floods, Tsunamis, And Of Course The Giant Snake Who Swallowed The Sun—i’m Afraid Most Of That Was Our Fault. Carter And I Decided We Should At Least Explain How It Happened.

Congratulations

When I Got Across, I Looked Back And Saw Tyson Giving Grover A Piggyback Ride (or Was It A Goatyback Ride?).

Yeah, My Bad," Leo Muttered. "i Should've Crashed On One Of The Other Islands. Oh, Wait-there Aren't Any!" She [calypso] Snarled And Kept Walking Along The Edge Of The Water.

Besides, You're A Cat. It's Your Nature To Think You're The Center Of The Universe.

Center Of The Universe

Amos Clapped His Hands. “khufu!” I Thought He’d Sneezed, Because Khufu Is A Weird Name, But Then A Little Dude About Three Feet Tall With Gold Fur And A Purple Shirt Came Clambering Down The Stairs. It Took Me A Second To Realize It Was A Baboon Wearing An L.a. Lakers Jersey.

Annabeth’s Hand Slipped Into Mine. Under Different Circumstances I Would’ve Been Embarrassed, But Here In The Dark I Was Glad To Know Where She Was. It Was About The Only Thing I Was Sure Of.

No Hero Is Above Fear, Percy. And You Have Risen Above Every Hero. - Poseidon

Percy Tried To Remember. He Really Did. For Some Reason, Annabeth And He Had Visited A Spa And Decided To Destroy It. He Couldn't Imagine Why. Maybe They Hadn't Like The Deep-tissue Massage? Maybe They'd Gotten Bad Manicures?

Grover Started To Sniffle And I Figured If I Didn't Cheer Him Up He'd Either Start Bawling Or Chewing Up My Mattress. He Tends To Eat Household Objects Whenever He Gets Upset.

I Guess It Wasn't Everyday They See A Yellow Lifeboat With No Engine Going A Hundred Knots An Hour, Manned By Three Kids.

All Right, Cupcakes. You Are About To See The Grand Canyon. Try Not To Break It. The Skywalk Can Hold The Weight Of Seventy Jumbo Jets, To You Featherweights Should Be Safe Out There. If Possible, Try To Avoid Pushing Each Other Over The Edge, As That Would Cause Me Extra Paperwork.

Pushing Each Other

Frank Didn’t Drop You On Purpose,” She Said. “he’s Not Like That. He’s Just A Little Clumsy Sometimes.” “oops,” Leo Said, In His Best Frank Zhang Voice. “dropped Leo Into A Squad Of Enemy Soldiers. Dang It!

I Pressed Play And Started Up Chiron's Favorite--the All-time Greatest Hits Of Dean Martin. Suddenly The Air Was Filled With Violins And A Bunch Of Guys Moaning In Italian. The Demon Pigeons Went Nuts. They Started Flying In Circles, Running Into Each Other Like They Wanted To Bash Their Own Brains Out.

Leo Took Out A Pen And Autographed The Arm Of One Of The Nymphs. “narcissus Is A Loser! He’s So Weak, He Can’t Bench-press A Kleenex. He’s So Lame, When You Look Up Lame On Wikipedia, It’s Got A Picture Of Narcissus—only The Picture’s So Ugly, No One Ever Checks It Out.

I Hate It When People Let Me Down, When Things Are Temporary. I Think That's Why I Want To Be An Architect." "to Build Something Permanent," I Said. "a Monument To Last A Thousand Years.

It Isn’t Easy Being A Brilliant Inventor, Always Alone. Always Misunderstood. Easy To Turn Bitter, Make Horrible Mistakes. People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can’t Be Fixed. -hephaestus

Meat!" He Said Scornfully. "i'm A Vegetarian." You Eat Cheese Enchiladas And Aluminum Cans," I Reminded Him. Those Are Vegetables.

His Left Eyebrow Crept Higher And Higher As I Told Him The Strange Bits Like The Glowing Letters And Serpent Staff. "well, Sadie," Inspector Williams Said. "you've Got Quite An Imagination." "i'm Not Lying, Inspector. And I Think Your Eyebrow Is Trying To Escape." He Tried To Look At His Own Eyebrows, Then Scowled.

For What It’s Worth: Trust Your Feelings. I Can’t Promise That You’ll Never Get Hurt Again, But I Can Promise You The Risk Is Worth It.

I Haven't Devoured A Soul In...what Month Is This? March?

See You On The Other Side. -percy Jackson

Who Are You?" Ethan Nakamura. I Have To Kill You." ??

“there’s My Baby!” I Cried, Quite Carried Away. “there’s My Poochiekins!” Ammit Ran At Me And Leaped Into My Arms, Nuzzling Me With His Rough Snout. “my Lord Osiris!” Disturber Lost The Bottom Of His Scroll Again, Which Unraveled Around His Legs. “this Is An Outrage!” “sadie,” Dad Said Firmly, “please Do Not Refer To The Devourer Of Souls As Poochiekins.”

They [percy And Annabeth] Held The Doors Shut As The Elevator Shuddered And The Music Played, While Somewhere Below Them, A Titan And A Giant Sacrificed Their Lives For Their Escape.

I Had Weird Dreams Full Of Barnyard Animals. Most Of Them Wanted To Kill Me. The Rest Wanted Food.

I Wrote For 10 Years Before I Even Started The 'percy Jackson' Series.

Annabeth:my Fatal Flaw. That's What The Sirens Showed Me. My Fatal Flaw Is Hubris. Percy: The Brown Stuff They Spread On Veggie Sandwiches? Annabeth:no, Seaweed Brain. That's Hummus. Hubris Is Worse. Percy: What Could Be Worse Than Hummus? Annabeth: Hubris Means Deadly Pride, Percy. Thinking You Can Do Things Better Than Anyone Else... Even The Gods.

Frank Gave Leo A Confused Smile- Like He Couldn't Decide Whether To Gloat Or To Thank Leo For Being A Doofus- But He Cheerfully Let Hazel Drag Him Along.

Their Goal Was In Sight. They Had A Titan With A Very Loud Kitten On Their Side. That Had To Count For Something.

The Most Important Thing Whenever We're Connecting Kids To Books, Is That We Try To Match The Book To The Kid And Make Sure That Reading Is A Fun, Rewarding Experience Outside The Classroom.

Chiron Probably Wanted Me To Say, Heck It Wa Nothing. I Eat Hellhounds For Breakfast. But I Didn't Feel Like Lying.

She Whirled When The Monster Was Almost On Top Of Her. I Thought The Thing In Her Hands Was An Umbrella Until She Cranked The Pump And The Shotgun Blast Blew The Giant Twenty Feet Backwards, Right Into Nico's Sword. "nice One," Paul Said. "when Did You Learn To Fire A Shotgun?" I Demanded. My Mom Blew The Hair Out Of Her Face. "about Two Seconds Ago. Percy, We'll Be Fine. Go!

My Girlfriend: Sophomore Honors Student, Demigod, And — Oh, Yeah — Head Architect For Redesigning The Palace Of The Gods On Mount Olympus In Her Spare Time.

Before Keto Could Notice, Hedge Pointed Towards The Top Of The Amphitheater. It Looked Like He Might Be Screaming, Gods Of Olympus, What Is That? Keto Turned. Coach Hedge Promptly Took Off His Fake Foot And Ninja-kicked Her In The Back Of The Head With His Goat Hoof.

A Person's Shadow Stood For His Legacy, His Impact On The World. Some People Cast Hardly Any Shadow At All. Some Cast Long, Deep Shadows That Endured For Centuries.

I Like To Remind Teachers That Even Though They're All Overwhelmed And Overloaded, And It's Easy To Get Burned Out, It Really Is About The Kids. It Only Takes One Good Teacher To Change A Life - One Time, And One Book. That's What Happened When I Was A Kid. I Had One Good Teacher That Came In At The Right Time And Turned Me Into A Writer. So Never Lose Sight - You Could Be That Teacher.

We Need A Shroud. A Shroud For The Son Of Hermes.

So What If They Were In Tartarus? So What If They Stood A Slim Chance Of Surviving? He Was So Glad That They Were Together, He Had The Ridiculous Urge To Smile.

You Put The Set Animal In Your Locker? Do You Know How Much Strength That Requires?” “yeah,” I Said. “i Was There.

He Gave Me The Brochure. It Was About The Hunters Of Artemis. The Front Read, A Wise Choice For Your Future! Inside Were Pictures Of Young Maidens Doing Hunter Stuff, Chasing Monsters, Shooting Bows. There Were Captions Like: Health Benefits: Immortality And What It Means For You! And A Boy-free Tomorrow! "i Found That In Annabeth's Backpack," Grover Said. I Stared At Him. "i Don't Understand." "well, It Seems To Me… Maybe Annabeth Was Thinking About Joining." I'd Like To Say I Took The News Well. The Truth Was, I Wanted To Strangle The Hunters Of Artemis One Eternal Maiden At A Time.

The Feast Of Fortuna Had Nothing To Do With Tuna, Which Was Fine With Percy.

He Crossed The Street Toward The Man In The Trench Coat, Which Left Me With Two Choices: Follow My Dad And See What Was Going On, Or Do What I Was Told. I Decided On The Slightly Less Dangerous Path. I Went To Retrieve My Sister

If There Were Ever Any Half-bloods Who Needed To Worry About That, It Was Thalia And Me. I Wondered If Maybe I Should've Sent Poseidon That Seashell Pattern Tie For Father's Day After All. --percy Jackson

"it's Him," I Said. "typhon." I Was Seriously Hoping Chiron Would Say Something Good, Like No, That's Our Huge Friend Leroy! He's Going To Help Us!

Maybe Love Was No Match For Ice...but Piper Had Used It To Wake A Metal Dragon. Mortals Did Superhuman Feats In The Name Of Love All The Time. Mothers Lifted Cars To Save Their Children. And Piper Was More Than Just A Mortal. She Was A Demigod. A Hero. The Ice Melted On Her Blade. Her Arm Steamed Under Khione's Grip. 'still Underestimating Me,' Piper Told The Goddess. 'you Really Need To Work On That.

Are You Kidding?" She Looked At Me As If I'd Just Dropped From The Moon. Her Cheeks Were Bright Red. "what's The Problem Now?" I Demanded. "me, Go With You To The...the 'thrill Ride Of Love'? How Embarrassing Is That? What If Somebody Saw Me?" "who's Going To See You?" But My Face Was Burning Now, Too. Leave It To A Girl To Make Everything Complicated. "fine," I Told Her. "i'll Do It Myself." But When I Started Down The Side Of The Pool, She Followed Me, Muttering About How Boys Always Messed Things Up.

That Perseus Always Won. That's Why My Momhad Named Me After Him, Even If He Was Son Of Zeus Ann I Was Son Of Posidon. The Original Perseus Was One Of The Only Heros In The Greek Myths Who Got A Happy Ending. The Others Died-betrayed, Mauled, Mutilated, Poisoned, Or Cursed By The Gods. My Mom Hoped I Would Inherit Perseus's Luck. Judging By How My Life Was Going So Far, I Wasn't Too Optimistic.

Percy," My Father Said, "what Exactly Do You Mean?" "kronos Couldn't Have Risen If It Hadn't Been For A Lot Of Demigods Who Felt Abandoned By Their Parents," I Said. "they Felt Angry, Resentful, And Unloved, And They Had A Good Reason.

I Know, I'm An Idiot!" Leo Moaned. "a Brilliant Idiot, But Still An Idiot.

Brother,” Artemis Chided. “you Do Not Help My Hunters. You Do Not Look At, Talk To, Or Flirt With My Hunters. And You Do Not Call Them Sweetheart.

Nothing Like Watching Your Relatives Fight, I Always Say.

So Few People Did Good In Their Lives. It Was Depressing.

You Can't Call A Ninja Lord Dweeb.

You Want To Know How Egyptians Pulled The Brains Out Of Mummies. Or Built The Pyramids, Or Cursed King Tut's Tomb? My Dad's Your Man.

I Play Dodgeball With Cannibals (chapter 2)

Good Job On Percy Jackson I Read All Of Them 8 Times And Have Listened 42 Times And Still Not Bored Thanks.

My Name Is Carter Kane. I'm Fourteen And My Home Is A Suitcase.

That's Why We Live By A River. Occasionally, I Forget And Pat Lit On The Back--' 'i Hate That.' King Midas & Lit

Ma’at Demands A Leader.” “yeah So I’ve Heard.

Stacy Schiff Is That Rare Combination: A First-rate Historian And A Brilliant Storyteller. Using A Wide Range Of Sources, She Spins Straw Into Gold, Conjuring The World Of Ptolemaic Egypt In Full Vibrant Color, And Returning The Voice Of One Of The Most Powerful, Fascinating, And Maligned Women In History. Cleopatra Is Impossible To Put Down.

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

But Grover’s Voice Was Already Growing Fainter. ‘sweet Dreams. Don’t Let Me Die!

You Titans Are About As Bright As My Gym Socks.

How Did You Die?" "we Er....drowned In A Bathtub." "all Three Of You?" "it Was A Big Bathtub.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Monsters Don't Die. They Just Dissipate Into Smoke And Dust, Which Saves Heroes A Lot Of Trouble Cleaning Up After A Fight.

Survive First. Figure Out Crayon Drawing Of Destiny Later.

No Doubt Carter Would Describe The Underground City In Excruciating Detail, With Exact Measurements Of Each Room, Boring History On Every Statue And Hieroglyph, And Background Notes On The Construction Of The Magical Headquarters Of The House Of Life. I Will Spare You That Pain. It's Big. It's Full Of Magic. It's Underground. There. Sorted.

I've Found Peace Here At The Co-op. You Could Stay With Us, If You Want. Become A Roflcopter.

Lightning Thief Was Good But The Sea Of Monsters Is Better And Has More Action!

And When Demigods Use Cell Phones, The Signals Agitate Every Monster Within A Hundred Miles. It's Like Sending Up A Flare: Here I Am! Please Rearrange My Face!

Even Strength Must Bow To Wisdom Sometimes.

Hold Up," Leo Said. "you Guys Lost A Dragon? A Real Full Size Dragon?

Bessie?” I Looked Down At The Bull Serpent. “but… He’s Too Cute. He Couldn’t Destroy The World.” -percy Jackson

I’ll Leave You Guys To Get Acquainted. Somebody Show Leo To Dinner When It’s Time?” “i Got It,” One Of The Girls Said. Nyssa, Leo Remembered. She Wore Camo Pants, A Tank Top That Showed Off Her Buff Arms, And A Red Bandanna Over Her Mop Of Dark Hair. Except For The Smiley-face Band-aid On Her Chin, She Looked Like One Of Those Female Action Heroes, Like Any Second She Was Going To Grab A Machine Gun And Start Mowing Down Evil Aliens. “cool,” Leo Said. “i Always Wanted A Sister Who Could Beat Me Up.

Jumping Out A Window Five Hundred Feet Above Ground Is Not Usually My Idea Of Fun. Especially When I'm Wearing Bronze Wings And Flapping My Arms Like A Duck.

Quintus..." Geryon Mused. "short Gray Hair, Muscular, Swordsman?" "yeah." "never Heard Of Him.

A Half-blood Of The Eldest Gods, Shall Reach Sixteen Against All Odds And See The World In Endless Sleep The Hero's Soul, Cursed Blade Shall Reap A Single Choice Shall End His Days Olympus To Preserve Or Raze.

That Is Exactly How People Beat Chinese Handcuffs. They Turn Into Iguanas.

Please, Percy...change Your Clothes. You Smell Like You've Been Run Over By An Electric Horse.

Mr. D," Grover Asked Timidly, "if You're Not Going To Eat It, Could I Have Your Diet Coke Can?

Knowledge Isn't Always Good For You.

There Are Parties And Then There Are Huge Major Blowout Parties. And Then There Are Olympian Parties. If You Ever Get A Choice Go For The Olympian.

Egypt Is The First Nome. New York Is The Twenty-first. What’s The Last One, The Three-hundred-and-sixtieth?” “that Would Be Antarctica,” Zia Said. “a Punishment Assignment. Nothing There But A Couple Of Cold Magicians And Some Magic Penguins.” “magic Penguins?” “don’t Ask.

The Dead See What They Believe They Will See. So Do The Living. That Is The Secret.

I'm A Teacher Still, But With A Much Larger Classroom.

Athena Always, Always Has A Plan.

I Would've Hit The Water Hard, But At The Last Second I Changed Into A Falcon. ~carter Kane

You Cannot Imprison Me!" He Bellowed. "i Am Hyperion! I Am-" The Bark Closed Over His Face. Grover Took His Pipes From His Mouth. "you Are A Very Nice Maple Tree.

I Told You I Try Not To Live In The Past And Nothing Could Change The Fact That My Mum Was Gone. But I’m A Liar. The Truth Was, I’d Had One Dream Ever Since I Was Six: To See My Mum Again. To Actually Get To Know Her, Talk To Her, Go Shopping, Do Anything. Just Be With Her Once So I Could Have A Better Memory To Hold On To.

Daddy Will Explain. Come, He Is Blowing Up Monsters.

You Think It's Okay That We're Eating Rudolph?" "dude," Percy Said, "i Could Eat Prancer And Blitzen, Too. I'm Hungry.

The Way Leo Figured It, He Spent More Time Crashing Than He Did Flying. If There Was A Rewards Card For Frequent Crashers, He'd Be, Like, Double Platinum Level.

But Magic Is Neither Good Nor Evil. It Is A Tool, Like A Knife. Is A Knife Evil? Only If The Wielder Is Evil.

All Invincible And Stuff

Percy, We're Going To Polyphemus' Island! Polyphemus Is An S-i-k...a C-y-k..." She Stamped Her Foot In Frustration. As Smart As She Was, Annabeth Was Dyslexic, Too. We Could've Been There All Night While She Tried To Spell Cyclops. "you Know What I Mean!

Eating Next To A Twenty-foot-long Crocodile Took Some Getting Used To, But Philip Was Well Trained. He Only Ate Bacon, Stray Waterfowl, And The Occasional Invading Monster.

You Weren't Able To Talk Sense Into Him?" Well, We Kind Of Tried To Kill Each Other In A Duel To The Death." I See. You Tried The Diplomatic Approach.

Amos Sipped His Coffee. "sorry If That Distubed You. Khufu's Very Picky. He Only Eats Foods That End In -o. Doritos, Burritos, Flamingos." I Blinked. "did You Say-" "carter," Sadie Warned. She Looked A Little Queasy, Like She'd Already Had This Conversation. "don't Ask.

I Stepped Forward. Call Me Old-fashioned, But I Wanted To Keep His Focus On Me And Not Annabeth. I Think It’s Polite For A Guy To Protect His Girlfriend From Instant Incineration.

Thalia Had Been Turned Into A Pine Tree When She Was 12. Me... Well, I Was Doing My Best Not To Follow Her Example. I Had Nightmares About What Poseidon Might Turn Me Into If I Were Ever In The Verge Of Death—plankton, Maybe. Or A Floating Patch Of Kelp.

Writing 'book 1: The Maze Of Bones' Didn't Feel Much Different Than Writing One Of My Other Novels, But I Thought It Was Very Innovative To Offer The Website And Trading Card Components As Well For Those Readers Who Wanted To Go More In Depth With The Cahill Experience.

'you're Dionysus,' I Said. 'the God Of Wine.' Mr. D Rolled His Eyes. 'what Do They Say These Days, Grover? Do The Children Say "well Duh!"?' 'y-yes, Mr. D.' 'then, "well, Duh!" Percy Jackson. Did You Think I Was Aphrodite, Perhaps?' 'you're A God.' 'yes, Child.' 'a God. You.'

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

Weapons Are Allowed. Dirty Tricks Are Expected. But Try Not To Kill Anybody!” Tantalus Smiled At Us Like We Were All Naughty Children. “any Killing Will Result In Harsh Punishment. No S’mores At The Campfire For A Week! Now Ready Your Chariots!

Whoa," Said Nico As He Climbed Off The Bus. "is That A Climbing Wall?" "yeah," I (percy) Said. "why Is There Lava Pouring Down It?" "little Extra Challenge..." - Percy

He Dropped The Rest Of The Cokes Into The Grave And Pulled Out A White Paper Bag Decorated With Cartoons. I Hadn’t Seen One In Years, But I Recognized It — A Mcdonald’s Happy Meal. He Turned It Upside Down And Shook The Fries And Hamburger Into The Grave. “in My Day, We Used Animal Blood,” The Ghost Mumbled. “it’s Perfectly Good Enough. They Can’t Taste The Difference.” “i Will Treat Them With Respect,” Nico Said. “at Least Let Me Keep The Toy,” The Ghost Said.

Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important.' It Was Probably Important To Her.

The Way To Beat Luke," He Said. "if I'm Right, It's The Only Way You'll Stand A Chance." I Took A Deep Breath. "okay. I'm Listening." Nico Glanced Inside My Room. His Eyebrows Furrowed. "is That...is That Blue Birthday Cake?" He Sounded Hungry, Maybe A Little Wistful. I Wondered If The Poor Kid Had Ever Had A Birthday Party, Or If He'd Ever Even Been Invited To One. :come Inside For Cake And Ice Cream," I Said. "it Sounds Like We've Got A Lot To Talk About.

Until She Met The Exploding Statue, Annabeth Thought She Was Prepared For Anything.

Right," Sadie Said. "and Set Will Just Stand There Calmly While I Read Him To Death.

She Reached Into Her Coat Pocket And Felt Two Things She Hadn't Expected.... One Was A Wad Of Cash... She Brought Out The Money. Leo Whistled. "allowance? Piper, Your Mom Rocks!

Don't Worry, Be Hapi.

Most Of Set’s Forces Were Running Towards Our Boat, Screaming And Throwing Rocks (which Tended To Fall Down And Hit Them, But No One Says Demons Are Bright).

Rachel: You're A Half-blood, Too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just Announce It To The World, How About? Rachel: Okay. Hey, Everybody! These Two Aren't Human! They're Half Greek God!...they Don't Seem To Care.

Nico's Voice Was Like Broken Glass. "i- I Wasn't In Love With Annabeth." "you Were Jealous Of Her," Jason Said. "that's Why You Didn't Want To Be Around Her. Especially Why You Don't Want To Be Around... Him. It Makes Total Sense.

She (annabeth) Put Her Hand On My Spine, And My Skin Tingled. I (percy) Moved Her Fingers To The One Spot That Grounded Me To My Mortal Life. A Thousand Volts Of Electricity Seemed To Arc Through My Body.

The Thing About Plummetting Downhill At Fifty Miles An Hour On A Snack Platter - If You Realize It's A Bad Idea When You're Halfway Down, It's Too Late.

Boys Are Usually Forbidden To Have Any Contact With The Hunters. The Last One To See This Camp..." She Looked At Zoe. "which One Was It?" That Boy In Colorado," Zoe Said. "you Turned Him Into A Jackalope." Ah, Yes." Artemis Nodded, Satisfied. "i Enjoy Making Jackalopes.

Plus, Humor Ws A Good Way To Hide The Pain. And If That Didn't Work, There Was Always Plan B. Run Aaway. Over And Over.

He Scowled At Jason. "and Please, I Don't Like Being Touched. Don't Ever Grab Me Again.

If Possible, Try To Avoid Pushing Each Other Over The Edge, As That Would Cause Me Extra Paperwork.

Pushing Each Other

I Don't Deserve You." "you're Not Allowed To Say That." "why Not?" "it's A Breakup Line. Unless You're Breaking Up-" Jason Leaned Over And Kissed Her. The Colors Of The Roman Afternoon Suddenly Seemed Sharper, As It The World Had Switched To High Definition. "no Breakups," He Promised. "i May Have Busted My Head A Few Times, But I'm Not That Stupid.

I Wondered If She'd Ever Written On Her Notebook: Geb + Nut = True Love Or Mrs Geb.

As For Me, I Did The Stupidest Thing In My Life, Which Is Saying A Lot. I Attacked The Titan Lord Atlas.

Of Course, Annabeth Wouldn't Be Able To Breathe, But At The Moment, That Seemed Like A Minor Problem.

So, Destroy?" Cal Asked. Clearly, The Conversation Was Giving His Two Brain Cells A Serious Workout.

Liz Cleared Her Throat. "isn't There A More Polite Term We're Supposed To Use Nowadays? Like....little Person, Or Vertically Challenged,or-" "i'm Not Going To Call Myself The God Of Vertically Challenged People," Bes Grumbled. "i'm A Dwarf!

If You've Seen A Crab's Mouth, All Foamy And Gross With Whiskers And Snapping Bits, You Can Imagine This One Didn't Look Any Better Blown Up To Billboard Size.

Leo,” Hazel Gasped, “i Can’t—my Arms—” “hazel,” He Said. “do You Trust Me?” “no!” “me Neither,” Leo Admitted.

A Surgeon Would Never Hesitate To Amputate A Rotting Hand, No Matter How Faithfully It Had Served Its Owner In The Past.

Zia," I Said, "that's A Goddess. She Defeated Bast. What Chance Do You Have?" Zia Held Up Her Staff And The Carved Lion's Head Burst Into Flames - A Small Red Fireball So Bright, It Lit The Entire Room. "i Am A Scribe In The House Of Life, Sadie Kane. I Am Trained To Fight Gods.

Beckendorf Walked Up With His Helmet Under His Arm. 'she Likes You, Man.' 'sure,' I Muttered. 'she Likes Me For Target Practice.' 'nah, They Always Do That. A Girl Starts Trying To Kill You, You Know She's Into You. 'makes A Lot Of Sense.

It Wasn't Exactly Like Talking, But It Went Something Like This: Could You Give Us A Ride North, Percy Asked, Like As Close To Portland As Possible? Eat Seals, The Whale Responded. Are You Seals? No, Percy Admitted. I've Got A Man Satchel Full Of Macrobiotic Beef Jerky, Though. The Whale Shuddered. Promise Not To Feed Me This, And I Will Take You North. Deal.

Indeed, "hera Said. ―porphyrion, The Strongest Of His Kind. Gaea Needed A Great Deal Of Power To Raise Him Again —my Power. For Weeks I‘ve Grown Weaker As My Essence Was Used To Grow Him A New Form." ―so You‘re Like A Heat Lamp,"leo Guessed. ―or Fertilizer.

Annabeth, Thank Goodness, Would Be Staying In New York. She'd Gotten Permission From Her Parents To Attend A Boarding School In The City So She Could Be Close To Olympus And Oversee The Rebuilding Efforts. "and Close To Me?" I Asked. "well, Someone's Got A Big Sense Of His Own Importance." But She Laced Her Fingers Through Mine. I Remembered What She'd Told Me In New York, About Building Something Permanent, And I Thought—just Maybe—we Were Off To A Good Start.

Jeez, Hazel," Percy Said, "tell Your Horse To Watch His Language." Hazel Tried Not To Laugh. "what Did He Say?" "with The Cussing Removed? He Said He Can Get Us To The Top." Frank Looked Incredulous. "i Thought The Horse Couldn't Fly!" This Time Arion Whinnied So Angrily, Even Hazel Could Guess He Was Cursing. "dude," Percy Told The Horse, "i've Gotten Suspended For Saying Less Than That.

My Experience With Khonsu Had Taught Me Not Be Greedy About Time. It Was Best To Appreciate What You Had And Not Yearn For More.

I Wondered If I Would Appear On A Temple Wall Painting Someday. A Blonde Egyptian Girl With Purple Highlights Running Sideways Through The Palm Trees, Screaming "yikes!" In Hieroglyphics As Neith Chased After Me. The Thought Of Some Poor Archaeologist Trying To Figure That Out Almost Lifted My Spirits.

Percy Smiled At Her - That Sarcastic Troublemaker Smile That Had Annoyed Her For Years But Eventually Had Become Endearing. His Sea-green Eyes Were As Gorgeous As She Remembered. His Dark Hair Was Swept To One Side, Like He'd Just Come From A Walk On The Beach. He Looked Even Better Than He Had Six Months Ago - Tanner And Taller, Leaner And More Muscular. Percy Threw His Arms Around Her. They Kissed And For A Moment Nothing Else Mattered. An Asteroid Could Have Hit The Planet And Wiped Out All Life, And Annabeth Wouldn't Have Cared.

You, Sir, Are A Ray Of Sunshine. -percy Jackson

Ray Of Sunshine

When I Was Young, My Favorite Picture Book Was 'fletcher And Zenobia,' Written By Edward Gorey And Illustrated By Victoria Chess. It's Long Out Of Print Now, But Its Mix Of Macabre Humor And 1960s Psychedelia Made It A Perfect Children's Book For The Times.

Two U.s. Marine Skeletons Guarded The Doors. They Grinned Down At Us, Rocket-propelled Grenade Launchers Held Across Their Chests. "you Know," Grover Mumbled, "i Bet Hades Doesn't Have Trouble With Door-to-door Salesman.

The World Will Fall, The Gods Will Die, And I Will Never Achieve A Perfect Score On This Stupid Machine. -dionysus

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