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No Doubt Carter Would Describe The Underground City In Excruciating Detail, With Exact Measurements Of Each Room, Boring History On Every Statue And Hieroglyph, And Background Notes On The Construction Of The Magical Headquarters Of The House Of Life. I Will Spare You That Pain. It's Big. It's Full Of Magic. It's Underground. There. Sorted.

-Rick Riordan

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No Doubt Carter Would

Rick Riordan

...

No Doubt Carter Would Describe The Underground City In Excruciating Detail, With Exact Measurements Of Each Room, Boring History On Every Statue And Hieroglyph, And Background Notes On The Construction Of The Magical Headquarters Of The House Of Life. I Will Spare You That Pain. It's Big. It's Full Of Magic. It's Underground. There. Sorted.

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God Alert!" Blackjack Yelled. "it's The Wine Dude! Mr. D Sighed In Exasperation. "the Next Person, Or Horse, Who Calls Me The 'wine Dude' Will End Up In A Bottle Of Merlot!

Listen, Frank Zhang Has Moves. He's Probably Gonna Turn Into A Kangaroo And Do Some Marsupial Jujitsu On Their Ugly Faces.

George Unhinged His Jaw And Coughed Up A Little Plastic Bottle Filled With Chewable Vitamins. "you're Kidding," I Said. "are Those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes Picked Up The Bottle And Rattled It. "the Lemon Ones, Yes. The Grape Ones Are Furies, I Think. Or Are They Hydras? At Any Rate, These Are Potent."

I’m The God Of Funerals. I Know Every Death Custom In The World—how To Die Properly, How To Prepare The Body And Soul For The Afterlife. I Live For Death.” “you Must Be Fun At Parties,” I Said.

My Sword Reappeared In My Pocket. Yeah,great Timing.now I Could Attack The Walls All I Wanted.my Cell Had No Bar,no Window,not Even A Door

I Like Both Greek And Egyptian. More Greek Stories Have Survived, So We Know More About Them. They've Always Been My Favorite. On The Other Hand, I Like The Egyptian Stories Because They're Not As Commonly Known And They Have An Exotic Flavour.

I Held Out My Dad’s Magic Box And Let It O, Sure It Would Smash To The Floor. Instead, The Box Disappeared. “cool,” I Said. “sure You I Can Get It Back?” “no,” Bast Said. “now Come On!

He Warned Me The Greediest Wishes Cause The Greatest Sorrows.

That's Great. Except For The Fact That It's Completely Unimportant.

Annabeth Came Up To Me. She Was Dressed In Black Camouflage With Her Celestial Bronze Knife Strapped To Her Arm And Her Laptop Bag Slung Over Her Shoulder—ready For Stabbing Or Surfing The Internet, Whichever Came First.

I Saw 'the 39 Clues' As A Potential Vehicle For Doing Some Education In A Fun Way - To Take Some Of These Amazing Stories From History, Dust Them Off And Make Them Alive.

I Turned And Found Dionysus Standing There, Still In His Black Suit. Walk With Me,” He Said. Where To?” I Asked Suspiciously. Just To The Campfire,” He Said. “i Was Beginning To Feel Better, So I Thought I Would Talk With You A Bit. You Always Manage To Annoy Me.” Uh, Thanks.

[jason] Faltered When He Looked At Leo, Who Was Mimicking Taking Notes With An Air Pencil. “go On, Professor Grace!” He Said, Wide-eyed. “i Wanna Get An A On The Test.

I Stick Closely To The Structure Of The Myths. I May Have Some Fun With The Mythology By Changing The Environment To Modern-day, But The Structure Of The Myths, The Monsters, The Relationships Of The Gods - None Of That Is Made Up.

Percy Frowned "you Have A Feast For Tuna?

What I Did Next Was So Impulsive And Dangerous I Should've Been Named Adhd Poster Child Of The Year.

Identify The Moral Dilemma Driving The Novel. The Successful Novel Will Haunt A Reader Because It Deals With Some Ethical Or Moral Dilemma That Makes The Reader Wonder What He Or She Would Do In The Protagonist's Place.

We Were Absolutely Destined To Meet Your Hot Sister

Sure, Sis!' Then He Raised His Hands In A Stop Everything Gesture. 'i Feel A Haiku Coming On.

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Save Yourselves!" Percy Warned. "it Is Too Late For Us!" Then He Gasped And Pointed To The Spot Where Frank Was Hiding. "oh No! Frank Is Turning Into A Crazy Dolphin!" Nothing Happened. "i Said," Percy Repeated, "frank Is Turning Into A Crazy Dolphin." Frank Stumbled Out Of Nowhere, Making A Big Show Of Grabbing His Throat. "oh No," He Said, Like He Was Reading From A Teleprompter, "i Am Turning Into A Crazy Dolphin.

The Dead Are Hard To Look At. Their Faces Shimmer. They All Look Slightly Angry Or Confused. They Will Come Up To You And Speak, But Their Voices Sound Like Chatter, Like Bats Twittering. Once They Realize You Can't Understand Them, They Frown And Move Away. The Dead Aren't Scary. They're Just Sad.

I've Never Been A Collector - Just A Consumer - And These Days Unless A Book Is Signed To Me By Another Author, I Don't Normally Have Any Qualms About Passing It To A Friend Or Donating It To The Library.

Chaos Is Impatient. It's Random. And Above All It's Selfish. It Tears Down Everything Just For The Sake Of Change, Feeding On Itself In Constant Hunger. But Chaos Can Also Be Appealing. It Tempts You To Believe That Nothing Matters Except What You Want.

If Anyone Asks You If You’re Taken,” I Said, “the Answer Is Yes.” “i Think I Can Live With That,” He Promised. “good,” I Said. “because You Don’t Want To See Me Be Cross.” “too Late.” “shut Up And Dance, Walt.” “shut Up And Dance, Walt.” We Did—with The Music Of A Psychotic Griffin Screaming Behind Us, And The Sirens And Horns Of Brooklyn Wailing Below. It Was Quite Romantic.

Are You Suggesting That The Gods Have Trouble Acting Together, Young Lady?" Dionysus Asked. Yes, Lord Dionysus." Mr. D Nodded. "just Checking. You're Right, Of Course. Carry On.

His Left Eyebrow Crept Higher And Higher As I Told Him The Strange Bits Like The Glowing Letters And Serpent Staff. "well, Sadie," Inspector Williams Said. "you've Got Quite An Imagination." "i'm Not Lying, Inspector. And I Think Your Eyebrow Is Trying To Escape." He Tried To Look At His Own Eyebrows, Then Scowled.

Surfing?” He Asked. She Laughed, And The Sound Sent A Shock Wave Through The Water. The Wailing Faded To Background Noise. Annabeth Wondered If Anyone Had Ever Laughed In Tartarus Before—just A Pure, Simple Laugh Of Pleasure. She Doubted It.

Background Noise

Can’t This Thing Go Any Faster?” Thalia Demanded. Zoe Glared At Her. “i Cannot Control Traffic.” You Both Sound Like My Mother,” I Said. Shut Up!” They Both Said In Union.

Plus, Humor Ws A Good Way To Hide The Pain. And If That Didn't Work, There Was Always Plan B. Run Aaway. Over And Over.

Gods Tend To Be Selfish. Even When They're Helpful, They Always Have Their Own Motives. That's Why You Have To Be Careful About Trusting Them.

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Hazel Frowned. "why That One?" "you Don't See The Ghost?" Frank Asked. "ghost?" Nico Asked. Okay... If Frank Was Seeing A Ghost That The Underworld Kids Couldn't See, Something Was Definitely Wrong.

Now, Now," Bast Said. "it's Not So Bad." "right," I Said. "we're Stuck In Washington, D.c. We Have Two Days To Make It To Arizona And Stop A God We Don't Know How To Stop. And If We Can't, We'll Never See Our Dad Or Amos Again, And The World Might End." "that's The Spirit!" Bast Said Brightly. "now, Let's Have A Picnic.

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Why Won't You Drown?" He Wailed, Pummeling Me With His Fists. "i'm Poseidon's Son," I Said. "curse That Upstart! I Was Here First!

I Concentrated Hard And Snapped My Fingers. "you Don't See The Sword," I Told The Girl. "it's Just A Ballpoint Pen." She Blinked. "um . . . No. It's A Sword, Weirdo.

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Warning: The Following Is A Transcript Of A Digital Recording. In Certain Places, The Audio Quality Was Poor, So Some Words And Phrases Represent The Author's Best Guesses. Where Possible, Illustrations Of Important Symbols Mentioned In The Recording Have Been Added. Background Noises Such As Scuffling, Hitting, And Cursing By The Two Speakers Have Not Been Transcribed The Author Makes No Claims For The Authenticity Of The Recording. It Seems Impossible That The Two Young Narrators Are Telling The Truth, But You, The Reader, Must Decide For Yourself.

Background Noise

I Said Hello To The Poodle.

Percy!” He Bellowed. He Dropped His Broom And Ran At Me. If You’ve Never Been Charged By An Enthusiastic Cyclops Wearing A Flowered Apron And Rubber Cleaning Gloves, I’m Telling You, It’ll Wake You Up Quick.

"he Mentioned It!" One Of The Ghosts Whimpered.

Tyson, Frank Is A Descendant Of Poseidon." "brother!" Tyson Crushed Frank In A Hug. Percy Stifled A Laugh. "actually He's More Like A Great-great-...oh, Never Mind. Yeah, He's Your Brother." "thanks." Frank Mumbled Through A Mouthful Of Flannel.

Luke Gazed At Annabeth. "you Knew. I Almost Killed You, But You Knew . . ." "shhh." Her Voice Trembled. "you Were A Hero At The End, Luke.

Contrary To What You Might Think, I Don't Spend Every Waking Hour Thinking About Boys." "just Most Waking Hours?

Oh, God,” I Said. “sorry, Sorry. Do I Die Now?” --sadie To Zia

Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important.' It Was Probably Important To Her.

Now, Come Over Here So I Can Pat You Down." "but You Don't Have-" Percy Stopped. "uh, Sure." He Stood Next To The Armless Statue. Terminus Conducted A Rigorous Mental Pat Down. "you Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare That This Is Stupid.

Travis: The Aphrodite Kids Were Ripping Each Other’s Clothes And Throwing Lipstick And Jewellery. It Was Like A Rabid Herd Of Wild Bratz.

They Send A Person Who Can Never Stay," She Whispered. "who Can Never Accept My Offer Of Companionship For More Than A Little While. They Send Me A Hero I Can't Help ... Just The Sort Of Person I Can't Help Falling In Love With." ... As I Sailed Into The Lake I Realized The Fates Really Were Cruel. They Sent Calypso Someone She Couldn't Help But Love. But It Worked Both Ways. For The Rest Of My Life I Would Be Thinking About Her. She Would Always Be My Biggest What If.

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Pizza! Hockey! Destroy!" -cal

I Held Out A Lead Figurine Of Hades—the Little Mythomagic Statue Nico Had Abandoned When He Fled Camp Last Winter. Nico Hesitated. "i Don’t Play That Game Anymore. It’s For Kids." "it’s Got Four Thousand Attack Power," I Coaxed. "five Thousand," Nico Corrected. "but Only If Your Opponent Attacks First." I Smiled. "maybe It’s Okay To Still Be A Kid Once In A While.

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They Know They’ve Won,” Carter Guessed. “they’re Making A Show Of It.” “yes,” Amos Said. “well, Let’s Blow Up The Boats Or Something!” I Said. Amos Looked At Me. “is That Your Strategy, Honestly?

Everything Happens For A Reason, Sadie, Even Bad Things.

Everything Happens For A Reason

I Remembered The Last Time Annabeth And I Had Parted Ways, When She'd Given Me A Kiss For Luck In Mount St. Helens. This Time, All I Got Was The Hat.

Annabeth’s Shoulders Ached. The Elevator’s Easy-listening Music Didn’t Help. If All Monsters Had To Hear That Song About Liking Piña Coladas And Getting Caught In The Rain, No Wonder They Were In The Mood For Carnage When They Reached The Mortal World.

Leo: Rainbows. Very Macho. Annabeth: Butch Is Our Best Equestrian, He Gets Along Great With The Pegasi. Leo: Rainbows, Ponies... Butch: I'm Gonna Toss You Off This Chariot.

Genius Does Not Excuse Evil.

I'm Stupid," Leo Mumbled. "pi Would Expand Outward, Because It's Infinite." He Reversed The Order Of The Numbers, Starting In The Center And Working Toward The Edge. When He Aligned The Last Ring, Something Inside The Sphere Clicked. The Door Swung Open. Leo Beamed At His Friends. "that, Good People, Is How We Do Things In Leo World. Come On In!" "i Hate Leo World," Frank Muttered. Hazel Laughed.

Glancing Back I Got My First Clear Look At The Monster. He Was Seven Feet Tall, Easy, His Arms And Legs Like Something From The Cover Of Muscle Man Magazine-bulging Biceps And Triceps And A Bunch Of Other 'ceps, All Stuffed Like Baseballs Under Vein-webbed Skin. He Wore No Clothes Except Underwear-i Mean, Bright White Fruit Of The Looms.

[carter Just Asked When I Became A Ram Whisperer. Do Shut Up, Carter]

Hi,” Piper Said, As Casually As She Could. “we’re Back.

Purple Light Passed Over The Paper, But Nothing Happened. "next!" Amy Said. She Was Sure The Man In Black Was Going To Burst In On Them Any Second. "whoa!" Dan Said. Amy Gripped His Arm. "you Found It?" "no, But Look! This Whole Essay - 'to The Royal Academy.' He Wrote A Whole Essay On Farts!" Dan Grinned With Delight. "he's Proposing A Scientific Study On Different Fart Smells. You're Right, Amy. This Guy Was A Genius!

If You're Heading Downtown From Centeral Park, My Advice Is To Take The Subway. Flying Pigs Are Faster But Way More Dangerous

Most People Call It The Book Of The Dead,” He Told Me. “rich Egyptians Were Always Buried With A Copy, So They Could Have Directions Through The Duat To The Land Of The Dead. It’s Like An Idiot’s Guide To The Afterlife.

Percy: The Heka-what? Annabeth: The Hundred-handed Ones. They Called Them That Because... Well, They Had A Hundred Hands. They Were The Elder Brothers Of The Cyclopes. Tyson: Very Powerful. Wonderful! As Tall As The Sky. So Strong They Can Break Mountains! Percy: Cool. Unless You're A Mountain.

The Right Choice Is Hardly Ever The Easy Choice.

Sadie," He Said Forlornly, "when You Become A Parent, You May Understand This. One Of My Hardest Jobs As A Father, One Of My Greatest Duties, Was To Realize That My Own Dreams, My Own Goals And Wishes, Are Secondary To My Children's.

I Hadn't Seen My Dad Get Violent Since The Great Spatula Incident, And I Wasn't Anxious To See A Repeat Of That.

In The Center Stood A Marble Alter, Where A Kid In A Toga Was Doing Some Sort Of Ritual In Front Of A Massive Golden Statue Of The Big Dude Himself:jupiter The Sky God, Dressed In A Silk Xxxl Purple Toga, Holding A Lightning Bolt. "it Doesn't Look Like That," Percy Muttered. "what?" Hazel Asked. "the Master Bolt," Percy Said. "what Are You Talking About?" "i-" Percy Frowned. For A Second, He'd Thought He Remembered Something. Now It Was Gone. "nothing, I Guess.

Doughboy, We Need To Talk.” Doughboy Opened His Wax Eyes. “finally! You Realize How Stuffy It Is In There? At Last You’ve Remembered That You Need My Brilliant Guidance.” “actually We Need To Become A Coat.

The Dead See What They Believe They Will See. So Do The Living. That Is The Secret.

He Had A Note Excusing Him From Pe For The Rest Of His Life Because He Had Some Kind Of Muscular Disease In His Legs. He Walked Funny, Like Every Step Hurt Him, But Don't Let That Fool You. You Should've Seen Him Run When It Was Enchilada Day In The Cafeteria.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

Now The Tattoos," Zia Announced. "brilliant!" I Said. "on Your Tongue," She Added. "excuse Me?

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

Don't Die On Me," She Ordered. "you Are Not Dying On Me." "yes, Ma'am." He Felt Light-headed, But She Was About The Most Beautiful Thing He'd Ever Seen. Her Hair Was Smoldering. Her Face Was Smudged With Soot. She Had A Cut On Her Arm, Her Dress Was Torn, And She Was Missing A Boot. Beautiful.

Leo Frowned At The Giant's Spire. "can't We Blow It Up Or Something?" "without Me, You Do Not Have The Power," Hera Said. "you Might As Well Try To Destroy A Mountain." "done That Once Today," Jason Said.

You Teach Combat, I Guess.” Aphros Threw Up His Hands In Exasperation. “why Does Everyone Assume That?” Leo Glanced At The Massive Sword On The Fish-guy’s Back. “uh, I Don’t Know.

It's Hard To Know What [literature] Will End Up Being Timeless And What Will Be Something That Doesn't Translate Into The Future, Especially With The Way We're Evolving Since Our Culture Is Changing So Fast.

We Heard The Army Before We Saw It. The Noise Was Like A Cannon Barrage Combined With A Football Stadium Crowd- Like Every Patriots Fan In New England Was Charging Us With Bazookas.

No, No, I Never Mess Around.

Yeah! Bring It On, Lake!

Hephaestus Glowered Up At Us. “i Didn’t Make You, Did I?” Uh,” Annabeth Said, “no, Sir.” Good,” The God Grumbled. “shoddy Workmanship.

Reyna Sent Me To Get Percy," Frank Said. "did Octavian Accept You?" "yeah," Percy Said. "he Slaughtered My Panda.

Is That Me?,' Leo Said. 'like Me--having This Dream--looking At Me Having A Dream?

Seven Half-bloods Shall Answer The Call To Storm Or Fire The World Must Fall An Oath To Keep With A Final Breath And Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

Only The Fire Of Life Can Melt The Chains Of Death.

Charlie …" Silena’s Eyes Were A Million Miles Away. "see Charlie.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Green Grass Breaks Through Snow, Artemis Pleads For My Help, I Am So Cool.

You Are One Freaking Awesome Baboon.

Zeus Looked Like A Really Buff, Really Angry Hippie.

Hello, Hazel Levesque.

Carter Kane, 14, Died Tragically In Paris When He Was Eaten By His Sister’s Cat Muffin.

He’d Learned Years Ago It Was Better Not To Dwell Too Much On Who Was Related To Whom On The Godly Side Of Things. After Tyson The Cyclops Adopted Him As A Brother, Percy Decided That That Was About As Far As He Wanted To Extend The Family.

It Was One Of Those And So They Died/the End Stories, That Made Us Demigods Feels All Warm And Fuzzy Inside.-percy

Are You Crazy?" "probably

He Also Didn't Mind Piper's Using Him For A Pillow. She Had A Cute Way Of Breathing When She Slept - Inhaling Through The Nose, Exhaling With A Little Puff Through The Mouth. He Was Also Disappointed When She Woke Up.

Stars," She Whispered. "i Can See The Stars Again, My Lady." A Tear Trickled Down Artemis's Cheek. "yes, My Brave One. They Are Beautiful Tonight." Stars," Zoe Repeated. Her Eyes Fixed On The Night Sky. And She Did Not Move Again.

He [death] Pulled A Pure-black Ipad From Thin Air. Death Tapped The Screen A Few Times And All Frank Could Think Was: Please Don't Let There Be An App For Reading Souls

I Have Lightning And Wind Powers," Jason Reminded Him. "piper Can Turn Beautiful And Charm People Into Giving Her Bmws. You're No More A Freak Than We Are. And, Hey, Maybe You Can Fly, Too. Like Jump Off A Building And Yell 'flame On!'" Leo Snorted. "if I Did That, You Would See A Flaming Kid Falling To His Death, And I Would Be Yelling Something A Little Stronger Than 'flame On!

Number Eight, The Silver One, Belongs To Artemis. She Vowed To Be A Maiden Forever. So Of Course, No Kids. The Cabin Is, You Know, Honorary. If She Didn't Have One, She'd Be Mad.

Percy Was Getting Tired Of Water. If He Said That Aloud, He Would Probably Get Kicked Out Of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, But He Didn’t Care.

Percy Was Not Feeling The Love.

June Cackled With Delight, Muttering, "whoops!" As A Car Almost Killed Them.

Please, Percy...change Your Clothes. You Smell Like You've Been Run Over By An Electric Horse.

Great,” Percy Said. “i Always Wanted To Be Glue.

That’s Right, Sadie. For Our First Real Date, I Picked Up Zia In A Boat Pulled By A Deranged Griffin. So What? Like Your Dates Aren’t Weird?

See You On The Other Side. -percy Jackson

I See Murky Visions Of Other Gods And Rival Magic." That Really Didn't Sound Good. "what Do You Mean?" I Asked. "what Other Gods?" "i Don't Know, Sadie. But Egypt Has Always Faced Challenges From Outside –– Magicians From Elsewhere, Even Gods From Elsewhere. Just Be Vigilant." ~ruby & Sadie Kane About...? Possibly Greeks?

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

He Had A Crush On A Blueberry Bush Once.

Sanchez Looked At Me And We Locked Eyes A Second Too Long. There Was Nothing I Could Do About It. The Signal Went Out. A Moment Of Clear, Silent Hostility Passed Between Us As Hotly Charged And Unintentional As A Thousand-volt Arc Through A Squirrel.

Leo Had Wanted To Paint A Giant Message On The Bottom Of The Hull-wassup? With A Smiley-face-but Annabeth Had Vetoed The Idea.

But She Wondered Why Beautiful Things Had To Be Wrapped Up With Evil History. Or Was It The Other Way Around? Maybe The Evil History Made It Necessary To Build Beautiful Things, To Mask The Darker Aspects.

Perseus, You Are Not The Hero.

There's Another Problem," Percy Said. "i'm Not Good With Air Travel. It's Dangerous For A Son Of Neptune." "you'll Have To Risk It...and So Will I," Frank Said. "by The Way, We're Related." Percy Almost Stumbled Off The Roof. "what?

For What It’s Worth: Trust Your Feelings. I Can’t Promise That You’ll Never Get Hurt Again, But I Can Promise You The Risk Is Worth It.

No Hero Is Above Fear.

I Could Have Killed You.” “or I Could Have Killed You,” Percy Said. Jason Shrugged. “if There’d Been An Ocean In Kansas, Maybe.” “i Don’t Need An Ocean—” “boys,” Annabeth Interrupted, “i’m Sure You Both Would’ve Been Wonderful At Killing Each Other. But Right Now, You Need Some Rest.” Food First,” Percy Said. “please?

There Are Parties And Then There Are Huge Major Blowout Parties. And Then There Are Olympian Parties. If You Ever Get A Choice Go For The Olympian.

We Were Just Looking At Maps.

Curled Up At The Base Of The Scales, Fast Asleep, Was The Oddest Monster I'd Seen Yet. It Had The Head Of Crocodile With A Lion's Mane. The Front Half Of Its Body Was A Lion, But The Back End Was Sleek, Brown, And Fat - A Hippo, I Decided. The Odd Bit Was, The Animal Was Tiny - I Mean, No Larger Than An Average Poodle, Which I Suppose Made Him A Hippodoodle.

Rachel: You're A Half-blood, Too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just Announce It To The World, How About? Rachel: Okay. Hey, Everybody! These Two Aren't Human! They're Half Greek God!...they Don't Seem To Care.

Lord Bacchus, Do You Remember Me? I Helped You With That Missing Leopard In Sonoma." Bacchus Scratched His Stubbly Chin. "ah... Yes. John Green." "jason Grace." "whatever," The God Said.

A Telkhine Was Hunched Over A Console, But He Was So Involved With His Work, He Didn't Notice Us. He Was About Five Feet Tall, With Slick Black Seal Fur And Stubby Little Feet. He Had The Head Of A Doberman, But His Clawed Hands Were Almost Human. He Growled And Muttered As He Tapped On His Keyboard. Maybe He Was Messaging His Friends On Uglyface.com.

Sometimes Wisdom Came From Strange Places, Even From Giant Teenaged Goldfish.

I Wasn't Sure Whether I Was Supposed To Kneel Or Buy Stamps From Him Or What.

I'll Show Them 'love Is Worthless,'" Silena Beauregard Grumbled As She Strapped On Her Armor. "i'll Pulverize Them!

Keep It Simple (frank Zhang)

Neither Torch Nor Dagger," Annabeth Said Firmly. "there Is A Third Test, Which I Will Pass." "a Third Test?" The Pater Demanded. "mithras Was Born From Rock," Annabeth Said, Hoping She Was Right. "he Emerged Fully Grown From The Stone, Holding His Dagger And Torch." The Screaming And Wailing Told Her She Had Guessed Correctly. "the Big Mother Knows All!" A Ghost Cried. "that Is Our Most Closely Guarded Secret!" Then Maybe You Shouldn't Put A Statue Of It On Your Altar, Annabeth Thought.

I Need To Talk To Clarisse," Annabeth Said. I Stared At Her As If She'd Just Said "i Need To Eat A Large, Smelly Boot." "what For?

You Might As Well Ask An Artist To Explain His Art, Or Ask A Poet To Explain His Poem. It Defeats The Purpose. The Meaning Is Only Clear Thorough The Search.

Is Tyson Okay?" I Asked. The Question Seemed To Take My Dad By Surprise. He's Fine. Doing Much Better Than I Expected. Though "peanut Butter" Is A Strange Battle Cry. "you Let Him Fight?" Stop Changing The Subject! You Realize What You Are Asking Me To Do? My Palace Will Be Destroyed. "and Olympus Might Be Saved." Do You Have Any Idea How Long I've Worked On Remodeling This Palace? The Game Room Alone Took Six Hundred Years. "dad—" Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. "i Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right?" Oh . . . Yes. Good Point.

I Sat Up In Bed. "what Did He Say?" Tyson Groaned, Still Half Asleep. He Was Lying Facedown On The Couch, His Feet So Far Over The Edge They Were In The Bathroom. "the Happy Man Said...bowling Practice?" I Hoped He Was Right, But Then There Was An Urgent Knock On The Suite's Interior Door. Annabeth Stuck Her Head In--her Blonde Hair In A Rat's Nest. "disembowling Practice?

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

We’re On The Moon,” Sadie Murmured. “el Paso, Texas,” Bast Corrected.

Just For You Non-sea-god Types Out There, Don't Go Swimming In New York Harbor. It May Not Be As Filthy As It Was In My Mom's Day, But That Water Will Still Probably Make You Grow A Third Eye Or Have Mutant Children When You Grow Up.

His Lion And Hippo Legs Twitched. I Wondered If Netherworld Monsters Dreamed Of Chasing Rabbits.

Percy, Meet Gladiola. Gladiola, Percy." I Stared At Annabeth, Figuring She'd Crack Up At This Practical Joke They Were Playing On Me, But She Looked Deadly Serious. "i'm Not Saying Hello To A Pink Poodle," I Said. "forget It." "percy," Annabeth Said. "i Said Hello To The Poodle. You Say Hello To The Poodle." The Poodle Growled. "i Said Hello To The Poodle.

You Speak Horse?" Hazel Asked. "speaking To Horses Is A Poseidon Thing," Percy Said. "uh, I Mean A Neptune Thing." "then You And Arion Should Get Along Fine," Hazel Said. "he's A Son Of Neptune Too." Percy Turned Pale. "excuse Me?

Imagine Your Body Replaced By Dust And Vapor, And Having A Tingly Feeling In Your Stomach Without Even Having A Stomach. Imagine Having To Concentrate Just To Keep Yourself From Dispersing Into Nothing. I Got So Angry, A Flash Of Lightning Crackled Inside Me. “don’t Be That Way,” Amos Chuckled. “it’s Only For A Few Minutes.

My Experience With Khonsu Had Taught Me Not Be Greedy About Time. It Was Best To Appreciate What You Had And Not Yearn For More.

You Can’t Control Every Contingency. You Have To Accept That. Let It Scare You. Trust That It’ll Be Okay Anyway.

The Wand Ricocheted Through The Swarm, Thumping Six, Seven, Eight Of The Little Monsters Before Returning To Carter’s Hand. “not Bad,” I Said. “keep It Up!

What Are These Guys?" He Whispered "canadians," Percy Said. Frank Leaned Away From Him. "excuse Me?" "uh, No Offense," Percy Said. "that's What Annabeth Called Them When I Fought Them Before. She Said They Live In The North, In Canada." "yeah, Well," Frank Grumbled, "we're In Canada. I'm Canadian. But I've Never Seen Those Things Before.

Butch Hesitated. "annabeth's Okay. You Gotta Cut Her Some Slack. She Had A Vision Telling Her To Come Here, To Find A Guy With One Shoe. That Was Supposed To Be The Answer To Her Problem." "what Problem?" Piper Asked. "she's Been Looking For One Of Our Campers, Who's Been Missing Three Days," Butch Said. "she's Going Out Of Her Mind With Worry. She Hoped He'd Be Here." "who?" Jason Asked. "her Boyfriend," Butch Said, "a Guy Named Percy Jackson.

Percy Jackson," Hermes Said, "because You Have Taken On The Curse Of Achilles, I Must Spare You. You Are In The Hands Of The Fates Now. But You Will Never Speak To Me Like That Again. You Have No Idea How Much I Have Sacrificed, How Much—" His Voice Broke, And He Shrank Back To Human Size. "my Son, My Greatest Pride . . . My Poor May . . ." He Sounded So Devastated I Didn't Know What To Say. One Minute He Was Ready To Vaporize Us. Now He Looked Like He Needed A Hug.

Not Knowing Is Half The Fun," Aphrodite Said, "exquisitely Painful Isn't It? Not Being Sure Who You Love And Who Loves You? Oh, You Kids! It's So Cute I'm Going To Cry!

Until She Met The Exploding Statue, Annabeth Thought She Was Prepared For Anything.

I Try Not To Think. It Interferes With Being Nuts" - Leo Valdez

I Hate To Tell You This,” Jason Said, “but I Think Your Leopard Just Ate A Goddess.

Grover Wore His Fake Feet And His Pants To Pass As Human. He Wore A Green Rasta-style Cap, Because When It Rained His Curly Hair Flattened And You Could Just See The Tips Of His Horns. His Bright Orange Backpack Was Full Of Scrap Metal And Apples To Snack On. In His Pocket Was A Set Of Reed Pipes His Daddy Goat Had Carved For Him, Even Though He Only Knew Two Songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 12 And Hilary Duff's "so Yesterday," Both Of Which Sounded Pretty Bad On Reed Pipes.

She Had To Face The Fact That She Couldn't Protect Everyone She Loved. She Couldn't Solve Every Problem.

She'd Secretly Had A Crush On Him Since They Were Twelve Years Old. Last Summer, She'd Fallen For Him Hard.

Ptah? Son Of Ptooey? What Is He God Of Spitting? I Asked

If I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

Don't Worry, Be Hapi.

Of Course, Annabeth Wouldn't Be Able To Breathe, But At The Moment, That Seemed Like A Minor Problem.

Even Strength Must Bow To Wisdom Sometimes.

She Would Always Be My Biggest What If.

Please Tell Me Your Master Isn't Aeolus." "that Airhead?" Favonius Snorted. "no, Of Course Not." "he Means Eros." Nico's Voice Turned Edgy. "cupid, In Latin." Favonius Smiled. "very Good, Nico Di Angelo. I'm Glad To See You Again, By The Way. It's Been A Long Time.

I Racked My Brain Trying To Remember The Names Of All Of Nut’s Five Children. Bit Difficult Without My Brother, The Human Wikipedia, Around To Keep Track Of Such Trivia For Me.

Aretmis Gripped Her Bow. “let Us Pray I Am Wrong.” Can Goddesses Pray?

Gods And Goddesses

I (percy) Set Nico On Guard Duty With Beckendorf And The Stoll Brothers, Figuring He'd Be Safely Out Of The Way. ... "what's Happening?" Nico Demanded, Trying To Climb Up Next To Me.

I'd Missed Annabeth Probably More Than I Wanted To Admit.

Sea Of Monsters

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Keep Climbing,' He Told Himself. 'cheeseburgers,' His Stomach Replied. 'shut Up,' He Thought. 'with Fries,' His Stomach Complained.

There," Zoë Suggested."by The Embarcadero Building." "good Thinking," Chuck Said. "me And Hank Can Blend In With The Pigeons." We All Looked At Him. "kidding," He Said. "sheesh, Can't A Statues Have A Sense Of Humor?

I Imagined Loading The God Of The Sea Into A Taxi And Taking Him To The Upper East Side.

Upper East Side

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