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Most People Call It The Book Of The Dead,” He Told Me. “rich Egyptians Were Always Buried With A Copy, So They Could Have Directions Through The Duat To The Land Of The Dead. It’s Like An Idiot’s Guide To The Afterlife.

-Rick Riordan

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Most People Call It

Rick Riordan

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Most People Call It The Book Of The Dead,” He Told Me. “rich Egyptians Were Always Buried With A Copy, So They Could Have Directions Through The Duat To The Land Of The Dead. It’s Like An Idiot’s Guide To The Afterlife.

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Don't Untie Me," She Said, "no Matter What Happens Or How Much I Plead. I'll Want To Go Straight Over The Edge And Drown Myself." "are You Trying To Tempt Me?" "ha-ha.

Butch Hesitated. "annabeth's Okay. You Gotta Cut Her Some Slack. She Had A Vision Telling Her To Come Here, To Find A Guy With One Shoe. That Was Supposed To Be The Answer To Her Problem." "what Problem?" Piper Asked. "she's Been Looking For One Of Our Campers, Who's Been Missing Three Days," Butch Said. "she's Going Out Of Her Mind With Worry. She Hoped He'd Be Here." "who?" Jason Asked. "her Boyfriend," Butch Said, "a Guy Named Percy Jackson.

Percy Looked At His Friends. "i'm Getting Tired Of This Guy's Shirt." "combat Time?" Piper Grabbed Her Horn Of Plenty. "i Hate Wonder Bread," Jason Said. Together, They Charged.

It Will Make You Powerful. But It Will Also Make You Weak. Your Prowess In Combat Will Be Beyond Any Mortal's, But Your Weaknesses, Your Failings Will Increase As Well." You Mean I'll Have A Bad Heel?" I Said. "couldn't I Just, Like, Wear Something Besides Sandals? No Offense.

Not Inmune To Engines Huh? Boo-yah!! -leo

Percy!” He Bellowed. He Dropped His Broom And Ran At Me. If You’ve Never Been Charged By An Enthusiastic Cyclops Wearing A Flowered Apron And Rubber Cleaning Gloves, I’m Telling You, It’ll Wake You Up Quick.

Just Tell Me, Percy, Do You Still Have The Birthday Gift I Gave You Last Summer?" I Nodded And Pulled Out My Camp Necklace. It Had A Bead For Every Summer I'd Been At Camp Half-blood, But Since Last Year I'd Also Kept A Sand Dollar On The Cord. My Father Had Given It To Me For My Fifteenth Birthday. He'd Told Me I Would Know When To "spend It," But So Far I Hadn't Figured Out What He Meant. All I Knew That It Didn't Fit The Vending Machines In The School Cafeteria.

To A Degree, The Greek And Roman Mythological Heroes Are Just The First Superheroes. They Appeal To Children For Much The Same Reason. These Gods And Heroes May Have Powers, But They Get Angry And They Do The Wrong Thing. They Are Human Too.

Hi, This Is Ganymede, Cup-bearer To Zeus, And When I'm Out Buying Wine For The Lord Of The Skies, I Always Buckle Up!

During Their Separation, Something Had Happened To Annabeth's Feelings. They'd Grown Painfully Intense-like She'd Been Forced To Withdraw From A Life-saving Medication. Now She Wasn't Sure Which Was More Excruciating-living With That Horrible Absence, Or Being With Him Again.

Caught In A Bad Romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!" Nellie Wailed Along To The Xm Radio Blaring From The Enormous Speakers. "can I Uncover My Ears Now?" Dan Called From The Back, Where He Was Reclined Across The Leather Seat. "has Nellie Stopped Her Lady Gag Me Impression?

I Thought Maybe He Was Seeing Another Tree. - Juniper

You Think It's Okay That We're Eating Rudolph?" "dude," Percy Said, "i Could Eat Prancer And Blitzen, Too. I'm Hungry.

I Looked Down At My Clothes. They Were Slashed To Pieces And Full Of Bullet Holes, But I Was Fine. Not A Mark On Me. Nico's Mouth Hung Open. "you Just . . . With A Sword . . . You Just—" "i Think The River Thing Worked," I Said. "oh Gee," He Said Sarcastically. "you Think?

Hmm…” Jason Snapped His Fingers. “i Can Call A Friend For A Ride.” Percy Raised His Eyebrows. “oh, Yeah? Me Too. Let's See Whose Friend Gets Here First.

I Hoped They Couldn't Run Very Fast With Those Stubby Little Legs And Flippers, But They Waddled Along Pretty Well.

If You Were A God, How Would You Like Being Called A Myth, An Old Story To Explain Lightning? What If I Told You, Perseus Jackson, That Someday People Would Call You A Myth, Just Created To Explain How Little Boys Can Get Over Losing Their Mothers?

"percy, You're A Brave Guy," She Said. "just Take The Compliment. I Swear, Is It So Hard?"

Behold!" Percy Shouted. "the God's Chosen Beverage. Tremble Before The Horror Of Diet Coke!

I Am Never, Ever, Going To Make Things Easy For You, Seaweed Brain. Get Used To It.

This Is The Wilderness School. 'where The Kids Are Animals

Just Remember If We Get Caught, You're Deaf And I Don't Speak English.

Nothing Like Adhd And A Good Fight To The Death To Make Time Fly

I Don’t Leave Her Speechless Very Often. I Have To Enjoy Those Rare Moments.

Even Little Herley, Who Couldn't Have Been More Than Eight, Looked Like He Could Go Six Rounds With Chuck Norris Without Breaking A Sweat.

Isis And Horus," He Said. "i See You've Found New Bodies.

I'm Calm," Rachel Insisted. "every Time I'm Around You, Some Monsters Attack Us. What's To Be Nervous About?" "look," I Said. "i'm Sorry About The Band Room. I Hope They Didn't Kick You Our Or Anything." "nah. They Asked Me A Lot Of Questions About You. I Played Dumb." "was It Hard?" Annabeth Asked.

Sometimes Wisdom Came From Strange Places, Even From Giant Teenaged Goldfish.

Must’ve Been Hard On Your Mom,” Frank Said. “i Guess We’ll Do Anything For Someone We Love.” Hazel Squeezed His Hand Appreciatively. Nico Stared At The Cobblestones. “yeah,” He Said Bitterly. “i Guess We Will.

He Just Raised The Dead With Coke And Cheeseburgers

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Trantulus Casually Roasted A Marshmallow And Reached Out For It But The Marshmallow Commited Sucide And Dived Into The Flames.

And When Demigods Use Cell Phones, The Signals Agitate Every Monster Within A Hundred Miles. It's Like Sending Up A Flare: Here I Am! Please Rearrange My Face!

Running With A Drowsy Child Of Hades Was More Like Doing A 3 -legged Race With A Life Size Rag Doll.

Percy Frowned "you Have A Feast For Tuna?

It Wasn't Exactly Like Talking, But It Went Something Like This: Could You Give Us A Ride North, Percy Asked, Like As Close To Portland As Possible? Eat Seals, The Whale Responded. Are You Seals? No, Percy Admitted. I've Got A Man Satchel Full Of Macrobiotic Beef Jerky, Though. The Whale Shuddered. Promise Not To Feed Me This, And I Will Take You North. Deal.

After Our Mom Died, Her Parents (our Grandparents) Had This Big Court Battle With Dad. After Six Lawyers, Two Fistfights, And A Near Fatal Attack With A Spatula (don't Ask), They Won The Right To Keep Sadie With Them In England.

According To Festus, Our Flying Table, Buford, Made It Back Safely While We Were In Charleston, So Those Eagles Didn't Get Him. Unfortunately, He Lost The Laundry Bag With Your Pants." "dang It!" Frank Barked, Which Leo Figured Was Probably Severe Profanity For Him. No Doubt Frank Would've Cursed Some More -busting Out The Golly Gees And The Gosh Darns- But Percy Interrupted By Doubling Over And Groaning. "did The World Just Turn Upside Down?" He Asked. Jason Pressed His Hands To His Head. "yeah, And It's Spinning. Everything Is Yellow. Is It Supposed To Be Yellow?

Beckendorf Closed Eyes Tight And Brought His Hand Up To His Watch. From That Distance, The Explosion Shook The World. Heat Seared The Back Of My Head. The Princess Andromeda Blew Up From Both Sides, A Massive Fireball Of Green Flame Roiling Into The Dark Sky, Consuming Everything....i Stared Out The Window Into Deep Blue Water. Beckendorf Was Supposed To Go To College In The Fall. He Had A Girlfriend, Lots Of Friends, His Whole Life Ahead Of Him. He Couldn't Be Gone.

Now, You'll Have To Answer My Questions." "oh, Very Well," Set Said. "i Like Brazil For The World Cup. I'd Advise Investing In Platinum And Small-cap Funds. And Your Lucky Numbers This Week Are 2, 13--" "not Those Questions!" Menshikov Snapped.

Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. I Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right? Oh...yes. Good Point. Amphitrite - Incoming!

Most Helmsmen Would’ve Been Satisfied With A Pilot’s Wheel Or A Tiller. Leo Had Also Installed A Keyboard, Monitor, Aviation Controls From A Learjet, A Dubstep Soundboard, And Motion-control Sensors From A Nintendo Wii. He Could Turn The Ship By Pulling On The Throttle, Fire Weapons By Sampling An Album, Or Raise Sails By Shaking His Wii Controllers Really Fast. Even By Demigod Standards, Leo Was Seriously Adhd.

Well, I Hope You Like It Here, Leo. It Used To Be .......really Nice.

Great," Percy Said. "seven Of Us Against Hercules." "and A Satyr!" Hedge Added. "we Can Take Him.

Doesn't Miss Many Meals, Does He?" Zeus Muttered. "tyson, For Your Bravery In The War, And For Leading The Cyclopes, You Are Appointed A General I. The Armies Of Olympus. You Shall Henceforth Lead You Breathren Into War Whenever Required By The Gods. And You Shall Have A New...um...what Kind Of Weapon Would You Like? A Sword? An Axe?" "stick!" Tyson Said, Showing His Broken Club. "very Well," Zeus Said. "we Will Grant You A New, Er, Stick. The Best Stick That May Be Found." "hooray!

What About A Compromise? I’ll Kill Them First, And If It Turns Out They Were Friendly, I’ll Apologize.

Just Curious How Much I'm Going For These Days," Leo Said. "i Mean, I Can Understand Not Being As Pricey As Percy Or Jason, Maybe...but Am I Worth, Like, Two Franks, Or Three Franks?

Texting, Even Browsing The Internet - All These Things Can Attract Monsters.

I Turned To Annabeth And Shook My Head In Exasperation. “always Hercules. What Is It With Hercules?” Annabeth Shrugged. “he Had A Great Publicist.

I Love Norse Mythology - Thor And Odin And Loki - Amazing Characters.

Which Reminded Me...i Still Owed The Gods A Debt. "you're A Genius," I (percy) Told Annabeth.

I Missed Him So Much I Would Sometimes Turn To Tell Him Something Before I Forgot He Was Gone. In Spite Of All That, And All The Emotion Boiling Around Inside Me, All I Could Think Of To Say Was: “you’re Blue.

Dude! Said A Party Pony As He Unloaded His Gear. Did You See That Bear Guy? He Was All Like: 'whoa, I Have An Arrow In My Mouth!

I Tried Very Hard. But I Can't Help It. The Fates Are Cruel. They Sent You To Me, My Brave One, Knowing That You Would Break My Heart.

One Basketball To Rule Them All,” Leo Muttered.

You Know How Teachers Tell You The Magic Word Is 'please'? That's Not True. The Magic Word Is 'puke'. It Will Get You Out Of Class Faster Than Anything Else.

Sorry,no Thanks,if I Was Going To Die It Could Wait Until Tomorrow Morning.

I'll Succeed,' Hazel Promised. 'and Hecate? I'm Not Choosing One Of Your Paths. I'm Making My Own.

When She Kissed Me, I Had The Feeling My Brain Was Melting Right Through My Body.

They're Lares. House Gods." "house Gods," Percy Said. "like...smaller Than Real Gods, But Larger Than Apartment Gods?

But Grover’s Voice Was Already Growing Fainter. ‘sweet Dreams. Don’t Let Me Die!

You Cannot Imprison Me!" He Bellowed. "i Am Hyperion! I Am-" The Bark Closed Over His Face. Grover Took His Pipes From His Mouth. "you Are A Very Nice Maple Tree.

They Send A Person Who Can Never Stay," She Whispered. "who Can Never Accept My Offer Of Companionship For More Than A Little While. They Send Me A Hero I Can't Help ... Just The Sort Of Person I Can't Help Falling In Love With." ... As I Sailed Into The Lake I Realized The Fates Really Were Cruel. They Sent Calypso Someone She Couldn't Help But Love. But It Worked Both Ways. For The Rest Of My Life I Would Be Thinking About Her. She Would Always Be My Biggest What If.

Falling In Love

A Weapon, I Told Horus. I Need A Weapon. I Reached Into The Duat And Pulled Out An Ostrich Feather. “really?” I Yelled. Horus Didn’t Answer

For What It’s Worth: Trust Your Feelings. I Can’t Promise That You’ll Never Get Hurt Again, But I Can Promise You The Risk Is Worth It.

It's Useless To Lecture A Human.

Makes Us Appreciate Blessing, Not Be Greedy And Mean And Fat Like Polyphemus.

Facinating." He Broke Into A Wide Grin. "i've Discovered Something, Khufu. This Is Not Memphis, Egypt." Khufu Gave Me A Sideways Look, And I Could Swear His Expression Meant, Duh. "i've Also Discovered A New Form Of Magic Called Blues Music," The Man Continued. "and Barbecue. Yes, You Must Try Barbecue.

I Figure The World Is Basically A Machine. I Don't Know Who Made It, If It Was The Fates, Or The Gods, Or The Capital-g God Or Whatever. But It Chugs Along The Way It's Supposed To Most Of The Time. Sure, Little Pieces Break Off And Stuff Goes Haywire Once In A While, But Mostly... Things Happen For A Reason.

Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

You Weren't Able To Talk Sense Into Him?" Well, We Kind Of Tried To Kill Each Other In A Duel To The Death." I See. You Tried The Diplomatic Approach.

Right.” Sadie Looked Dazed. “you’ve Got A Monkey Butler. Why Not?

In Person, If Possible, Anubis Was Even More Drop-dead Gorgeous. [oh . . . Ha, Ha. I Didn't Catch The Pun, But Thank You, Carter. God Of The Dead, Drop-dead Gorgeous. Yes, Hilarious. Now, May I Continue?]

Drop Dead Gorgeous

I Got The Feeling Poseidon Really Didn't Know What To Think Of Me. He Didn't Know Whether He Was Happy To Have Me As A Son Or Not. In A Strange Way, I Was Glad That Poseidon Was So Distant. If He'd Tried To Apologize, Or Told Me He Love Me, Or Even Smiled. It Would've Felt Fake. Like Human Dad, Making Some Lame Excuse For Not Being Around. I Could Live With That. After All, I Wasn't Sure About Him Yet, Either.

It's First Owner...well, Things Didn't Turn Out Too Well For Her. Her Name Was Helena.' Piper Let That Sink In. "wait, You Mean The Helena? Helena Of Troy?' Annabeth Nodded. "and It's Just Sitting In Your Toolshed?

Back When I Was On My First Assignment As A Seeker, I Was Way Out In Arizona. Brought In This Kid Named Clarisse.” “clarisse?” “sibling Of Yours,” Hedge Said. “ares Kid. Violent. Rude. Lots Of Potential.

I May Be Biased, But I Think Jackals Are Cute And Cuddly, Even If They Were Known For Digging Up Graves In Ancient Egypt.

Hestia Shook Her Head. "i Am Here Because When All Else Fails, When All The Other Mighty Gods Have Gone Off To War, I Am All That's Left. Home. Hearth. I Am The Last Olympian

I Started To Walk Away, But She [clarisse] Called Out, "percy?" "yeah?" "when You, Uh, Had That Vision About Your Friends..." "you Were One Of Them," I Promised, "just Don't Tell Anybody, Okay? Or I'de Have To Kill You." A Faint Smile Flickered Across Her Face "see You Later." "see You

I Nodded, Looking At Rachel With Respect. "you Hit The Lord Of The Titans In The Eye With A Blue Plastic Hairbrush.

Well," I Said. "if You Need Me, I'll Be Outside, Playing With Sharp Objects.

Please Tell Me Your Master Isn't Aeolus." "that Airhead?" Favonius Snorted. "no, Of Course Not." "he Means Eros." Nico's Voice Turned Edgy. "cupid, In Latin." Favonius Smiled. "very Good, Nico Di Angelo. I'm Glad To See You Again, By The Way. It's Been A Long Time.

Fairness Means Everyone Gets What They Need. And The Only Way To Get What You Need Is To Make It Happen Yourself.

Zia Turned Toward Us, Her Expression Grim. “i Will Show You To Your Quarters. In The Morning, Your Testing Begins. We Will See What Magic You Know, And How You Know It.” I Wasn’t Sure What She Meant By That, But I Exchanged An Uneasy Look With Sadie. “sounds Fun,” Sadie Ventured. “and It We Fail This Test?” Zia Regarded Her Coldly. “this Is Not The Sort Of Test You Fail, Sadie Kane. You Pass Or You Die.

I Must Admit I’m Impressed, Sadie. You Controlled Your Magic And Controlled Isis. And You, Carter, Did Well Turning Into A Lizard.

So Why Are We Practicing This, Anyway?" Percy Asked. "do You Guys Spend A Lot Of Time Laying Siege To Fortified Cities?

It's Just Annabeth Mom Jeez!

Mr. D, Wearing His Leopard-skin Jogging Suit And Rummaging Through The Refrigerator. He Looked Up Lazily. "do You Mind?" Where's Chiron!" I Shouted. How Rude." Mr. D Took A Swig From A Jug Of Grape Juice. "is That How You Say Hello?" Hello," I Amended. "we're About To Die! Where's Chiron?

He [nico] Regarded Jason, As If Waiting For An Attack. 'if The Others Found Out-' 'if The Others Found Out,' Jason Said, 'you'd Have That Many More People To Back You Up, And To Unleash The Fury Of The Gods On Anybody Who Gives You Trouble.

The House Is In The House" Chapter 38

I Do Not Know How Much They See Through The Mist. I Doubt It Would Matter To Them If They Knew The Truth. Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

Annabeth’s Hand Slipped Into Mine. Under Different Circumstances I Would’ve Been Embarrassed, But Here In The Dark I Was Glad To Know Where She Was. It Was About The Only Thing I Was Sure Of.

Now, Now," Bast Said. "it's Not So Bad." "right," I Said. "we're Stuck In Washington, D.c. We Have Two Days To Make It To Arizona And Stop A God We Don't Know How To Stop. And If We Can't, We'll Never See Our Dad Or Amos Again, And The World Might End." "that's The Spirit!" Bast Said Brightly. "now, Let's Have A Picnic.

You Must Forge Your Own Path For It To Mean Anything.

Chiron Probably Wanted Me To Say, Heck It Wa Nothing. I Eat Hellhounds For Breakfast. But I Didn't Feel Like Lying.

Most Of Set’s Forces Were Running Towards Our Boat, Screaming And Throwing Rocks (which Tended To Fall Down And Hit Them, But No One Says Demons Are Bright).

There’s Nothing Here,” Carter Said. “what Do You Want?” I Asked. “we’ve Got Wax, Some Toilet Papyrus, An Ugly Statue.

Writing Is Like A Sport - You Only Get Better If You Practice

I Try Not To Think. It Interferes With Being Nuts" - Leo Valdez

Who's The Other Kid In The Photo?' He Asked. 'the Sandy-haired Guy.' Annabeth's Expression Tightened. Touchy Subject. 'that's Luke,' She Said. 'he's Dead Now.

You, Sir, Are A Ray Of Sunshine. -percy Jackson

Ray Of Sunshine

What Colors Are The Eyes Of Anubis?" "brown...duh.

If You’re Listening To This, Congratulations! You Survived Doomsday. I’d Like To Apologize Straightaway For Any Inconvenience The End Of The World May Have Caused You. The Earthquakes, Rebellions, Riots,tornadoes, Floods, Tsunamis, And Of Course The Giant Snake Who Swallowed The Sun—i’m Afraid Most Of That Was Our Fault. Carter And I Decided We Should At Least Explain How It Happened.

Congratulations

Where's The Glory In Repeating What Others Have Done?

I Hoped I Wasn't Blushing. It Was Bad Enough I Had To Depend On My Mom To Drive Me To My Battles.

I Prayed The Monsters Would Give Up. Or That Perhaps Philip Of Macedonia Would Climb Back To The Terrace (do Crocodiles Climb?) And Renew The Fight.

I Would've Hit The Water Hard, But At The Last Second I Changed Into A Falcon. ~carter Kane

I Pressed Play And Started Up Chiron's Favorite--the All-time Greatest Hits Of Dean Martin. Suddenly The Air Was Filled With Violins And A Bunch Of Guys Moaning In Italian. The Demon Pigeons Went Nuts. They Started Flying In Circles, Running Into Each Other Like They Wanted To Bash Their Own Brains Out.

They Sped By A Pack Of Sea Lions Lounging On The Docks, And She Swore She Saw An Old Homeless Guy Sitting Among Them. From Across The Water The Old Man Pointed A Bony Finger At Percy And Mouthed Something Like 'don't Even Think About It.' "did You See That?" Hazel Asked. Percy's Face Was Red In The Sunset. "yeah. I've Been Here Before. I...i Don't Know. I Think I Was Looking For My Girlfriend." "annabeth," Frank Said. "you Mean, On Your Way To Camp Jupiter?" Percy Frowned. "no. Before That.

Now, I Figured That The Built-up Gas In Most Boys' Locker Rooms Was Enough To Cause An Explosion, So I Wasn't Surprised When The Flaming Dodgeball Ignited A Huge Whooooooom!

Otrera Stayed Dead The Second Time," Kinzie Said, Batting Her Eyes. "we Have To Thank You For That. If You Ever Need A New Girlfriend...well, I Think You'd Look Great In An Iron Collar And An Orange Jumpsuit." Percy Couldn't Tell If She Was Kidding Or Not. He Politely Thanked Her And Changed Seats.

In The Center Stood A Marble Alter, Where A Kid In A Toga Was Doing Some Sort Of Ritual In Front Of A Massive Golden Statue Of The Big Dude Himself:jupiter The Sky God, Dressed In A Silk Xxxl Purple Toga, Holding A Lightning Bolt. "it Doesn't Look Like That," Percy Muttered. "what?" Hazel Asked. "the Master Bolt," Percy Said. "what Are You Talking About?" "i-" Percy Frowned. For A Second, He'd Thought He Remembered Something. Now It Was Gone. "nothing, I Guess.

Vitellius Would've Given Percy An Hour-long Lecture On The Subject, Probably With A Powerpoint Presentation.

What Are You Talking About?" Narcissus Demanded. "i Am Amazing. Everyone Knows This." "amazing At Pure Suck," Leo Said. "if I Was As Suck As You, I'd Drown Myself. Oh Wait, You Already Did That.

Zoe Readied Her Arrows. Grover Lifted His Pipes. Thalia Raised Her Shield And I Noticed A Tear Running Down Her Cheek. Suddenly It Occurred To Me: This Had Happened To Her Before.she Had Been Cornered On Half- Blood Hill. She'd Willingly Given Her Life For Her Friends. But This Time She Couldn't Save Us.

No Hero Is Above Fear.

George Unhinged His Jaw And Coughed Up A Little Plastic Bottle Filled With Chewable Vitamins. "you're Kidding," I Said. "are Those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes Picked Up The Bottle And Rattled It. "the Lemon Ones, Yes. The Grape Ones Are Furies, I Think. Or Are They Hydras? At Any Rate, These Are Potent."

Grover And Nico Came Back From Their Walk, And Grover Helped Me Fix Up My Wounded Arm. "it's Green!" Nico Said With Delight.

Nothing Is Unfixable.

As In All Abercrombie's Books, Friends Turn Out To Be Enemies, Enemies Turn Out To Be Friends; The Line Between Good And Evil Is Murky Indeed; And Nothing Goes Quite As We Expect. With Eye-popping Plot Twists And Rollicking Good Action, Half A King Is Definitely A Full Adventure.

I Never Thought I'd Get To See Rome," Hazel Said. "when I Was Alive, I Mean For The First Time, Mussolini Was In Charge. We Were At War." "mussolini?" Leo Frowned. "wasn't He Like Bff's With Hitler?" Hazel Stared At Him Like He Was An Alien. "bff's?" "never Mind." "i'd Love To See The Trevi Fountain," She Said. "there's A Fountain On Every Block," Leo Grumbled. "or The Spanish Steps," Hazel Said. "why Would You Come To Italy To See Spanosh Steps?" Leo Asked. "that's Like Going To China For Mexican Food, Isn't It?" "you're Hopeless," Hazel Complained. "so I've Been Told.

I Can't Summon Anymore Gas!" Leo Warned. The His Faced Turned Red. 'wow, That Came Out Wrong. I Mean The Burning Kind.

Amos Sipped His Coffee. "sorry If That Distubed You. Khufu's Very Picky. He Only Eats Foods That End In -o. Doritos, Burritos, Flamingos." I Blinked. "did You Say-" "carter," Sadie Warned. She Looked A Little Queasy, Like She'd Already Had This Conversation. "don't Ask.

Then She Did Something That Really Surprised Me. She Blinked Back Tears And Put Out Her Arms. I Stepped Forward And Hugged Her. Butterflies Started Turning My Stomach Into A Mosh Pit. "hey, It's... It's Okay." I Patted Her Back. I Was Aware Of Everything In The Room. I Felt Like I Could Read The Tiniest Print On Any Book On The Shelves. Annabeth's Hair Smelled Like Lemon Soap. She Was Shivering.

What The Creeping Crud Is That?" [percy] Demanded. "you’re Inside A Giant Glowing Chicken-man!" "hawk!" I Yelled. I Decided That If I Survived This Day I Would Have To Make Sure This Guy Never Met Sadie. They’d Probably Take Turns Insulting Me For The Rest Of Eternity.

So You Can't Live In Manhattan?' She Asked. Amos's Brow Furrowed As He Looked Across At The Empire State Building. 'manhattan Has Other Problems. Other Gods. It's Best We Stay Separate.

Annabeth Didn’t Want To Sleep, But Her Body Betrayed Her. Her Eyelids Turned To Lead. “percy, Wake Me For Second Watch. Don’t Be A Hero.” He Gave Her That Smirk She’d Come To Love. “who, Me?” He Kissed Her, His Lips Parched And Feverishly Warm. “sleep.

Hi,” Piper Said, As Casually As She Could. “we’re Back.

He Crossed The Street Toward The Man In The Trench Coat, Which Left Me With Two Choices: Follow My Dad And See What Was Going On, Or Do What I Was Told. I Decided On The Slightly Less Dangerous Path. I Went To Retrieve My Sister

Looking Up In The Sky, I Saw The Stars Were Brighter Now. They Made A Pattern I Had Never Noticed Before- A Gleaming Constellation That Looked A Lot Like A Girls Figure- A Girl With A Bow, Running Across The Sky. "let The World Honor You, My Huntress. Live Forever In The Stars.

You Are One Freaking Awesome Baboon.

For An Absurd Moment, I Wondered If Ammit Devoured The Hearts Of Wicked Cows, And If He Liked The Beefy Taste. - Carter Kane

Mr. D," Grover Asked Timidly, "if You're Not Going To Eat It, Could I Have Your Diet Coke Can?

Suddenly His Expression Turned To Alarm. He Sprinted Toward Us. For A Moment I Had An Absurd Vision Of Myself On The Cover Of One Of Gran’s Old Romance Novels, Where The Damsel Wilts Into The Arms Of One Half-dressed Beefy Guy While Another Stands By,casting Her Longing Looks. Oh, The Horrible Choices A Girl Must Make! I Wished I’d Had A Moment To Clean Up. I Was Still Covered In Dried River Muck, Twine, And Grass, Like I’d Been Tarred And Feathered. Then Anubis Pushed Past Me And Gripped Walt’s Shoulders. Well…that Was Unexpected.

I Pictured My Mom, Alone In Our Little Apartment On The Upper East Side. I Tried To Remember The Smell Of Her Blue Waffles In The Kitchen. It Seemed So Far Away.

Families Are Messy. Immortal Families Are Eternally Messy. Sometimes The Best We Can Do Is To Remind Each Other That We're Related For Better Or For Worse...and Try To Keep The Maiming And Killing To A Minimum.

On A Basketball Court, Five Players Were In The Middle Of An Intense Game. They Wore Assortment Of Jerseys From Different American Teams, And They All Seemed Keen To Win—grunting And Snarling At Each Other, Stealing The Ball And Pushing. Oh…and The Players Were All Baboons.

Wha-what?" Her Eyes Fluttered Open. "nothing," I Shouted. "we're Being Followed By A Slaying Machine. Go Back To Sleep.

Tyson Thought Annabeth Was Just About The Coolest Thing Since Peanut Butter, And He Seriously Loved Peanut Butter.

Grover Wore His Fake Feet And His Pants To Pass As Human. He Wore A Green Rasta-style Cap, Because When It Rained His Curly Hair Flattened And You Could Just See The Tips Of His Horns. His Bright Orange Backpack Was Full Of Scrap Metal And Apples To Snack On. In His Pocket Was A Set Of Reed Pipes His Daddy Goat Had Carved For Him, Even Though He Only Knew Two Songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 12 And Hilary Duff's "so Yesterday," Both Of Which Sounded Pretty Bad On Reed Pipes.

Freak Is Easily Spooked. Flesh-eating Monsters Tend To Scare Him Away. So Do Fireworks, Clowns, And The Smell Of Sadie's Weird British Ribena Drink. (can't Blame Him On That Last One. Sadie Grew Up In London And Developed Some Pretty Strange Tastes.

Wow. When He Started Looking Back On The War With Kronos As The Good Old Days--that Was Sad.

Humans See What They Want To See.

I Should've Blown More Stuff Up." -coach Gleeson Hedge

I Hate It When People Let Me Down, When Things Are Temporary. I Think That's Why I Want To Be An Architect." "to Build Something Permanent," I Said. "a Monument To Last A Thousand Years.

I Don't Feel That Way Anymore," Nico Muttered. "i Mean... I Gave Up On Percy. I Was Young And Impressionable, And I- I Don't..." His Voice Cracked, And Jason Could Tell The Guy Was About To Get Teary-eyed. Whether Nico Had Really Given Up On Percy Or Not, Jason Couldn't Imagine What It Had Been Like For Nico All Those Years, Keeping A Secret That Would've Been Unthinkable To Share In The 1940s, Denying Who He Was, Feeling Completely Alone- Even More Isolated Than Other Demigods. "nico," He Said Gently, "i've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

You Have A Humming Dodo Bird," I Said Stupidly.

Dancing?' Annabeth Asked. Thalia Nodded. She Cocked Her Ear To The Music And Made A Face. 'ugh. Who Chose Jesse Mccartney?' Grover Looked Hurt. 'i Did.

When In Doubt, Start From The Top. -jason Grace

Please Excuse Jason From Eternal Damnation. He Has Had Amnesia.

It Was If The City Knew About Percy's Dream Of Gaea. It Knew That The Earth Goddess Intended On Razing All Human Civilization, And This City, Which Had Stood For Thousands If Years, Was Saying Back At Her: You Wanna Dissolve This City, Dirt Face? Give It A Shot. In Other Words, It Was The Coach Hedge Of Mortal Cities- Only Taller.

And In The Fountain Squatted A Giant Crab. I’m Not Talking ‘giant’ Like $7.99 All-you-can-eat Alaskan King Crab. I’m Talking ‘giant’ Like Bigger Than The Fountain.

I Sat Up In Bed. "what Did He Say?" Tyson Groaned, Still Half Asleep. He Was Lying Facedown On The Couch, His Feet So Far Over The Edge They Were In The Bathroom. "the Happy Man Said...bowling Practice?" I Hoped He Was Right, But Then There Was An Urgent Knock On The Suite's Interior Door. Annabeth Stuck Her Head In--her Blonde Hair In A Rat's Nest. "disembowling Practice?

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

I Can Try To Disable It," I Said, "but If I Mess Up, This Whole Apartment Is Going To Fill With Gas. We'll Die." Thalia Swallowed. " I Trust You. Just... Don't Mess It Up.

Poseidon Raised His Eyebrows As They Shook Hands. “blowfish, Did You Say?” "ah, No. Blofis, Actually.” "oh, I See,” Poseidon Said. “a Shame. I Quite Like Blowfish. I Am Poseidon.” "poseidon? That’s An Interesting Name.” "yes, I Like It. I’ve Gone By Other Names, But I Do Prefer Poseidon.” "like The God Of The Sea.” "very Much Like That, Yes.

You Sure You're Not A Roman, Annabeth? Or An Amazon?

In A Way, It's Nice To Know That There Are Greek Gods Out There, Because You Have Somebody To Blame When Things Go Wrong. For Instance, When You're Walking Away From A Bus That's Just Been Attacked By Monster Hags And Blown Up By Lightning, And It's Raining On Top Of Everything Else, Most People Might Think That's Just Really Bad Luck; When You're A Half-blood, You Understand That Some Devine Force Is Really Trying To Mess Up Your Day.

Die Human, Die!! Die Nasty Polluting Person!!!!' Yelled Grover. I Turned Him So He Faced Me. He Kept On Clicking His Plastic Gun Towards Me As If I Was Part Of The Game.

Genius Does Not Excuse Evil.

Leo: Rainbows. Very Macho. Annabeth: Butch Is Our Best Equestrian, He Gets Along Great With The Pegasi. Leo: Rainbows, Ponies... Butch: I'm Gonna Toss You Off This Chariot.

I Will Feast On Enemies Of Ra Until My Belly Is Full!” “charming,” Sadie Whispered.

Hercules,huh? Percy Frowned. "that Guy Was Like The Starbucks Of Ancient Greece. Everywhere You Turn--there He Is.

Coach Hedge Came Pounding Up The Stairs With Hazel At His Hooves. “where Are They?” He Demanded. “who Do I Kill?” “no Killing!” Annabeth Ordered. “just Defend The Ship!” “but They Interrupted A Chuck Norris Movie!

She Held Up Her Calloused, Grimy Fingers. Leo Couldn't Help Thinking There Was Nothing Hotter Than A Girl Who Didn't Mind Getting Her Hands Dirty. But Of Course, That Was Just A General Comment. Didn't Apply To Calypso. Obviously.

Now-what’s Our Game Plan?” Coach Hedge Belched. He’d Already Had Three Espressos And A Plate Of Doughnuts, Along With Two Napkins And Another Flower From The Vase On The Table. He Would’ve Eaten The Silverware, Except Piper Had Slapped His Hand. “climb The Mountain,” Hedge Said. “kill Everything Except Piper’s Dad. Leave.” “thank You General Eisenhower,” Jason Grumbles.

They're Not So Bad. They Just Need Some Attention. ...like Pets. Or My Brother.

We Need A Shroud. A Shroud For The Son Of Hermes.

I'm So Glad You're Here," Aphrodite Said. "war Is Coming. Bloodshed Is Inevitable. So There's Really Only One Thing To Do." "uh... And That Is?" Annabeth Ventured. "why, Have Tea And Chat, Obviously

And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

He Pinched The Name Tag And Ran His Fingers Under The Letters. "can You Read This, Mate? It Says C-h-a-r-o-n. Say It With Me: Care-on." "charon." "amazing! Now: Mr. Charon." "mr. Charon." "well Done.

Gabe Scratched His Double Chin. "maybe If You Hurry With The Seven-layer Dip...and Maybe If The Kid Apologizes For Interrupting My Poker Game." Maybe If I Kick You In Your Soft Spot, I Thought. And Make You Sing Soprano For A Week.

Percy Looked At Coach Hedge And Frank. “a Trap?” “probably,” Frank Said. “she’s Not Mortal,” Hedge Said, Sniffing The Air. “probably Some Kind Of Goat-eating, Demigod-destroying Fiend From Tartarus.” “no Doubt,” Percy Agreed. “awesome.” Hedge Grinned. “let’s Go.

Swords Can’t Solve Every Problem.

And Now, Sis. Transportation For The Hunters, You Say? Good Timing. I Was Just About Ready To Roll." These Demigods Will Also Need A Ride," Artemis Said, Pointing To Us. "some Of Chiron's Campers." No Problem!" Apollo Checked Us Out. "let's See... Thalia, Right? I've Heard All About You.". Thalia Blushed. "hi, Lord Apollo." Zues's Girl. Yes? Makes You My Half Sister. Used To Be A Tree Didn't You? Glad Your Back. I Hate It When Pretty Girls Get Turned Into Trees. Man, I Remeber One Time-

You Promised You Would Protect Her Nico Said. He Might As Well Have Stabbed Me With A Rusty Dagger.it Would've Hurt Less Than Reminding Me Of My Promise.

A Real Man's Weapon Is His Mind.

“there’s My Baby!” I Cried, Quite Carried Away. “there’s My Poochiekins!” Ammit Ran At Me And Leaped Into My Arms, Nuzzling Me With His Rough Snout. “my Lord Osiris!” Disturber Lost The Bottom Of His Scroll Again, Which Unraveled Around His Legs. “this Is An Outrage!” “sadie,” Dad Said Firmly, “please Do Not Refer To The Devourer Of Souls As Poochiekins.”

Once He'd Even Reprogrammed The Electronic Billboards In Time Square To Read: All Da Ladies Luv Leo... Accidentally, Of Course.

Thalia Blushed. "hi, Lord Apollo." Zeus's Girl, Yes? Makes You My Half Sister. Used To Be A Tree, Didn't You? Glad You're Back. I Hate It When Pretty Girls Turn Into Trees. Man, I Remember One Time—

I Don't Recommend Shadow Travel If You're Scared Of: A) The Dark B) Cold Shivers Up Your Spine C) Strange Noises D) Going So Fast You Feel Like Your Face Is Peeling Off In Other Words, I Thought It Was Awesome.

You Dropped This," He Said, Totally Poker-faced.

Akmon Squealed With Delight. “i Knew You Were As Smart As Hercules! I Will Call You Black Bottom, The Sequel!

No," Frank Said. "i'm Only A Centurion." Jason Cursed In Latin. "he Means He Can't Control A Whole Legion. He's Not Of High Enough Rank." Nico Swung Back His Black Sword At Another Gryphon. "well, Then, Promote Him!

I Caught Bast’s Arm When She Was A Few Steps From The Bank. “stay Away From The Water.” She Frowned. “carter, I’m A Cat. I’m Not Going For A Swim. But If You Want To Summon A River Goddess, You Really Need To Do It At The Riverbank.

I Looked At Thalia. "you're Afraid Of Heights." Now That We Were Safely Down The Mountain, Her Eyes Had Their Usual Angry Look. "don't Be Stupid." That Explains Why You Freaked Out On Apollo's Bus. Why You Didn't Want To Talk About It." She Took A Deep Breath. Then She Brushed The Pine Needles Out Of Her Hair. "if You Tell Anyone, I Swear—" No, No," I Said. "that's Cool. It's Just… The Daughter Of Zeus, The Lord Of The Sky, Afraid Of Heights?

For Once, I Didn't Look Back.

Hazel!” He Yelled. “that Box! Open It!” She Hesitated, Then Saw The Box He Meant. Te Label Read Warning. Do Not Open. “open It!” Leo Yelled Again.

Fighting Giants Was One Thing. Bacchus Making Into A Game Was Something Else.

Stop!" Narcissus Got To His Feet. "this Is Not Right! This Person Is Obviously Not Awesome, So He Must Be..." He Struggled For The Right Words. It Had Probably Been A Long Time Since He'd Talked About Anything Other Than Himself. "he Must Be Tricking Us." Apparently Narcissus Wasn't Completely Stupid.

We Tend To Think Of Divorced Or Complicated Families As A Modern Invention, And That Is Not At All True. You Only Have To Read The Greek Myths To See Broken Homes, Widows, Divorce, Stepchildren, Children Trying To Get Along With New Parents.

I Still Don't Understand What A Sea God Would Be Doing In Atlanta." Leo Snorted. "what's A Wine God Doing In Kansas? Gods Are Weird.

Um ,sorry. I Cant Read The Last Line." "fish. Have You Stolen Any Fish From The Holy Lakes?" "i Lived In Kansas..so ..no

It Was A Crazy Idea. But, As Usual, That’s All Percy Had.

That's What Being A Demigod Was All About, Not Quite Belonging In The Mortal World Or On Mount Olympus But Trying To Make Peace With Both Sides Of Their Nature.

She Whirled When The Monster Was Almost On Top Of Her. I Thought The Thing In Her Hands Was An Umbrella Until She Cranked The Pump And The Shotgun Blast Blew The Giant Twenty Feet Backwards, Right Into Nico's Sword. "nice One," Paul Said. "when Did You Learn To Fire A Shotgun?" I Demanded. My Mom Blew The Hair Out Of Her Face. "about Two Seconds Ago. Percy, We'll Be Fine. Go!

Everybody-even Monsters-needed A Little Attention Once In A While.

Looking At The Elementary Schoolers In Their Colorful T-shirts From Various Day Camps, Percy Felt A Twinge Of Sadness. He Should Be At Camp Half-blood Right Now, Settling Into His Cabin For The Summer, Teaching Sword-fighting Lessons In The Arena, Playing Pranks On The Other Counselors. These Kids Had No Idea Just How Crazy A Summer Camp Could Be.

Travis: I Didn’t Know They Made Permanent Makeup. I Looked Like A Clown For A Month. Connor: Yeah. They Put A Curse On Me So That No Matter What I Wore, My Clothes Were Two Sizes Too Small And I Felt Like A Geek. Travis: You Are A Geek.

Is Tyson Okay?" I Asked. The Question Seemed To Take My Dad By Surprise. He's Fine. Doing Much Better Than I Expected. Though "peanut Butter" Is A Strange Battle Cry. "you Let Him Fight?" Stop Changing The Subject! You Realize What You Are Asking Me To Do? My Palace Will Be Destroyed. "and Olympus Might Be Saved." Do You Have Any Idea How Long I've Worked On Remodeling This Palace? The Game Room Alone Took Six Hundred Years. "dad—" Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. "i Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right?" Oh . . . Yes. Good Point.

Race You To The Road?" I Said. "you Are So Going To Lose." She (annabeth) Took Off Down Half-blood Hill And I Sprinted After Her. For Once, I Didn't Look Back.

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