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In A Way, It's Nice To Know That There Are Greek Gods Out There, Because You Have Somebody To Blame When Things Go Wrong. For Instance, When You're Walking Away From A Bus That's Just Been Attacked By Monster Hags And Blown Up By Lightning, And It's Raining On Top Of Everything Else, Most People Might Think That's Just Really Bad Luck; When You're A Half-blood, You Understand That Some Devine Force Is Really Trying To Mess Up Your Day.

-Rick Riordan

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In A Way, It's

Rick Riordan

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In A Way, It's Nice To Know That There Are Greek Gods Out There, Because You Have Somebody To Blame When Things Go Wrong. For Instance, When You're Walking Away From A Bus That's Just Been Attacked By Monster Hags And Blown Up By Lightning, And It's Raining On Top Of Everything Else, Most People Might Think That's Just Really Bad Luck; When You're A Half-blood, You Understand That Some Devine Force Is Really Trying To Mess Up Your Day.

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Through The Years

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What Horrible Things Would You Have To Do In Your Life To Get Woven Into Hades's Underwear?

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It Was Beautiful In A Harsh I'm-going-to-gut-you-like-a-fish Kind Of Way.

I Will Feast On Enemies Of Ra Until My Belly Is Full!” “charming,” Sadie Whispered.

Part Of Their Problem Was Percy. He Fought Like A Demon, Whirling Through The Defender's Ranks In A Completely Unorthodox Style, Rolling Under Their Feet, Slashing With His Sword Instead Of Stabbing Like A Roman Would, Whacking Campers With The Flat Of His Blade, And Generally Causing Mass Panic.

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Now, You'll Have To Answer My Questions." "oh, Very Well," Set Said. "i Like Brazil For The World Cup. I'd Advise Investing In Platinum And Small-cap Funds. And Your Lucky Numbers This Week Are 2, 13--" "not Those Questions!" Menshikov Snapped.

I Seriously Needed An Extra-strength Magic Pillow, Because My Ba Refused To Stay Put. [and No, Sadie, I Don't Think Wrapping My Head In Duct Tape Would've Worked Either.]

One Basketball To Rule Them All,” Leo Muttered.

I Try To Craft Books That Are Fun, That Are Sort Of Subversively Educational So Kids Learn But They Don't Really Feel Like They're Being Lectured To, And I Want Kids To Always Finish One Of My Books And Think, "that Was Great, Where's The Next One?"

Don't Get Starry-eyed About Somebody You Can't Have, Especially If It Blinds You To Somebody Who's Really Important.

Wait Just A Minute," Ares Growled. He Pointed At Thalia And Me. "these Two Are Dangerous. It'd Be Much Safer, While We've Got Them Here—" "ares," Poseidon Interrupted, "they Are Worthy Heroes. We Will Not Blast My Son To Bits." "nor My Daughter," Zeus Grumbled. "she Has Done Well.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

We Swallowed A Few Bites-not To Much Scince The Food Of The Gods Can Burn You To Ashes Is You Overindulge. I Guess Thats Why You Don't See Many Fat Gods

Is That Me?,' Leo Said. 'like Me--having This Dream--looking At Me Having A Dream?

Why Won't You Drown?" He Wailed, Pummeling Me With His Fists. "i'm Poseidon's Son," I Said. "curse That Upstart! I Was Here First!

And Please God, Grant Me The Wisdom To Remember That I Am Writing For Children, Not Golden Stickers.

Schist," Said An Angry Voice From The Grass. Hazel Raised Her Eyebrows. "excuse Me?" "schist! Big Pile Of Schist!

His Left Eyebrow Crept Higher And Higher As I Told Him The Strange Bits Like The Glowing Letters And Serpent Staff. "well, Sadie," Inspector Williams Said. "you've Got Quite An Imagination." "i'm Not Lying, Inspector. And I Think Your Eyebrow Is Trying To Escape." He Tried To Look At His Own Eyebrows, Then Scowled.

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Holy Mother!" "hmph. More Like Holy Father. I'd Think You'd Know The Difference." -hephaetus

Run!” Piper Said. “we Are Running!” Jason Picked Up The Speed. “run Better!” Leo Shouted.

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You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

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Her Freckles Were Orange, As If Somebody Had Spray-painted Her Face With Liquid Cheetos.

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

Great," Percy Said. "seven Of Us Against Hercules." "and A Satyr!" Hedge Added. "we Can Take Him.

He Slung Off His Backpack. He'd Managed To Grab A Lot Of Supplies At The Napa Bargain Mart: A Portable Gps, Duct Tape, Lighter, Superglue, Water Bottle, Camping Roll, A Comfy Panda Pillow Pet (as Seen On Tv), And A Swiss Army Knife—pretty Much Every Tool A Modern Demigod Could Want.

Artemis Grit Her Teeth. "i Need A Favor. I Have Some Hunting To Do, Alone. I Need You To Take My Companions To Camp Half-blood." "sure Sis!" Then He Raised His Hands In A "stop Everything" Gesture. "i Feel A Haiku Coming On." The Hunters All Groaned. Apparently They'd Met Apollo Before. He Cleared His Throat And Held Up One Hand Dramatically. "green Grass Breaks Through Snow. Artemis Pleads For My Help. I Am So Awesome.

Red Cattle," Annabeth Said. "the Cattle Of The Sun." "what?" I [percy] Asked. "they're Sacred To Apollo." "holy Cows?

I Gave Her A Smile That I Hoped Conveyed Something Like: Hey, You Know I’m On Your Side. Gods Are Such Jerks! But What Can You Do? Probably My Expression Actually Conveyed: It’s Not My Fault! Please Do Not Kill Me!

Dreams Like A Podcast, Downloading Truth In My Ears. They Tell Me Cool Stuff." "apollo?" I Guess, Because I Figured Nobody Else Could Make A Haiku That Bad. He Put His Finger To His Lips. "i'm Incognito. Call Me Fred." "a God Named Fred?

They're Not So Bad. They Just Need Some Attention. ...like Pets. Or My Brother.

Set’s Storm Is Gathering,” Amos Said With A Twinkle In His Eyes. “shall We Drive Into Is?

Not All Powers Are Spectacular." Hestia Looked At Me. "sometimes The Hardest Power To Master Is The Power Of Yielding.

You Can Do This" I Murmured. "you Are My Brother. I Love You. All The Embarrassing Bits, All The Annoying Bits, Which I Imagine Is Most Of You--a Thousand Zias Might Run Away From You If They Knew The Truth. But I Won't. I'll Still Be Here.

Oh, Dear Hazel.” Aphrodite Folded Her Fan. “such Optimism, Yet You Have Heartrending Days Ahead Of You. Of Course War Is Coming. Love And War Always Go Together. They Are The Peaks Of Human Emotion! Evil And Good, Beauty And Ugliness.

Right Before The Game, She Strolled Up To Me. "hey, Seaweed Brain." "will You Stop Calling Me That?" She Knows I Hate That Name, Mostly Because I Never Have A Good Comeback. She's The Daughter Of Athena, Which Doesn't Give Me A Lot Of Ammunition. I Mean, "owl-head" And "wise Girl" Are Kind Of Lame Insults.

If I'm Going To Survive, It Won't Be Because I Have A Lion-skin Cloak. I'm Not Hercules.

He Was Beautiful The Way An Angel Is Beautiful - Timeless, Perfect, Remote.

Elections Only Happen In Two Ways," Reyna Said. "either The Legion Raises Someone On A Shield After A Major Success On The Battlefield-and We Haven't Had Any Major Battles-or We Hold A Ballot On The Evening Of June 24, At The Feast Of Fortuna. That's In Five Days." Percy Frowned. "you Have A Feast For Tuna?

For What It’s Worth: Trust Your Feelings. I Can’t Promise That You’ll Never Get Hurt Again, But I Can Promise You The Risk Is Worth It.

Percy: I Thought I’d Lost My Mom Forever, And I Was Stuck On A Hill In A Thunderstorm Fighting This Huge Bull Dude While Grover Was Passed Out Wailing. “food!” It Was Terrifying, Man.

The Death Mist Is Not For Helping!" Akhlys Shrieked. "it Shrouds Mortals In Misery As Their Souls Pass Into The Underworld. It Is The Very Breath Of Tartarus, Of Death, Of Despair!" "awesome," Percy Said. "could We Get Two Orders Of That To Go?

Contrary To What You Might Think, I Don't Spend Every Waking Hour Thinking About Boys." "just Most Waking Hours?

Deadlines Just Aren't Real To Me Until I'm Staring One In The Face.

I Had Weird Dreams Full Of Barnyard Animals. Most Of Them Wanted To Kill Me. The Rest Wanted Food.

Was That Amazing?” She Demanded. “that Was Amazing,” I Agreed. It’s Hard To Pull Off A Romantic Kiss When You’re Both Drenched In Muck, But We Gave It Our Best Shot.

Even Dionysus's Welcome-home Speech Wasn't Enough To Dampen My Spirits. "yes, Yes, So The Little Brat Didn't Get Himself Killed And Now He'll Have An Even Bigger Head. Well, Huzzah For That. In Other Announcements, There Will Be No Canoe Races This Saturday.

He Had No Idea Where The Stereotype Of Dumb Giggly Blondes Came From. Ever Since He'd Met Annabeth At The Grand Canyon Last Winter,when She'd Marched Toward Him With That Give Me Percy Jackson Or I’ll Kill You Expression, Leo Had Thought Of Blondes As Much Too Smart And Much Too Dangerous.

The Cyclopes Growled, "i Don't See Very Well Since The Last Hero Poked My Eye Out, But You're... No... Lady... Cyclopes!

Your Head Is Full Of Kelp.

This Is The Wilderness School. 'where The Kids Are Animals

So Why Are We Practicing This, Anyway?" Percy Asked. "do You Guys Spend A Lot Of Time Laying Siege To Fortified Cities?

I Didn't Understand How. But The Toilets Had Responded To Me. I Had Become One With The Plumbing.

I’ll Distract Them,” Carter Said. “you Search. The Trophy Room Is Through There.” “carter!” But The Fool Ran Off To Protect Me. I Hate When He Does That.

We'd Just Released A Zebra In Las Vegas.

If Possible, Try To Avoid Pushing Each Other Over The Edge, As That Would Cause Me Extra Paperwork.

Pushing Each Other

I Had A Crush On Percy," Nico Spat. "that's The Truth. That's The Big Secret.

Jason Muttered "and I Saw Something...really Terrible." "that Was Hera," Thalia Grumbled, "her Majesty, The Loose Cannon." "that's It, Thalia Grace," Said The Goddess. "i Will Turn You Into And Aardvark, So Help Me-" "stop It, You Two," Piper Said. Amazingly, They Both Shut Up.

I Woke To A Bucket Of Ice Water In My Face. “sadie! Get Up,” Zia Said. “god!” I Yelled. “was That Necessary?” “no,” Admitted Zia.

The World Will Fall, The Gods Will Die, And I Will Never Achieve A Perfect Score On This Stupid Machine. -dionysus

What About King Tut’s Tomb?” I Protested. “that Boy King?” Zia Rolled Her Eyes. “boring. You Should See Some Of The Good Tombs.

And If Someone Doesn’t Believe In Any Afterlife?” I Asked. Walt Gave Me A Sad Look. “then That’s What They Experience.

Annabeth, Thank Goodness, Would Be Staying In New York. She'd Gotten Permission From Her Parents To Attend A Boarding School In The City So She Could Be Close To Olympus And Oversee The Rebuilding Efforts. "and Close To Me?" I Asked. "well, Someone's Got A Big Sense Of His Own Importance." But She Laced Her Fingers Through Mine. I Remembered What She'd Told Me In New York, About Building Something Permanent, And I Thought—just Maybe—we Were Off To A Good Start.

Would Grandmother Scold Him? Would She Say, “frank! Thank The Gods, You've Come. I'm Surrounded By Monsters.” More Likely She'd Scold Him, Or Mistake Them For Intruders And Chase Them Off With A Frying Pan.

Chiron, I Don't Think The Attic Is The Proper Place For Our New Oracle, Do You?" "no, Indeed." Chiron Looked A Lot Better Now That Apollo Had Worked Some Medical Magic On Him. "rachel May Use A Guest Room In The Big House For Now, Until We Give The Matter More Thought." "i'm Thinking A Cave In The Hills," Apollo Mused. "with Torches And A Big Purple Curtain Over The Entrance . . . Really Mysterious. But Inside, A Totally Decked-out Pad With A Game Room And One Of Those Home Theater Systems.

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.

I Imagined Having That Bronzed Dragon In Our Fight Against The Titan Lord Kronos. His Monsters Would Think Twice About Attacking Camp If They Have To Face That Thing. On The Other Hand, If The Dragon Decided To Go Berserk Again And Attack The Campers-that Would Pretty Much Stink.

No," I Said. "i Choose The Prophecy. It Will Be About Me." "why Are You Saying That?" She Cried. "you Want To Be Responsible For The Whole World?" It Was The Last Thing I Wanted, But I Didn't Say That. I Knew I Had To Step Up And Claim It. "i Can't Let Nico Be In Any More Danger," I Said. "i Owe That Much To His Sister. I…let Them Both Down. I'm Not Going To Let That Poor Kid Suffer Any More.

Set Screamed Something In Ancient Egyptian. I Was Fairly Sure It Wasn’t A Compliment. “i Will Rend Your Limbs From Their Sockets!” He Shouted. “i Will—” “die?” Carter Suggested.

My Resolve, My Anger, Even My Grief Gave Me Confidence

There's No Point In Defending Camp If You Guys Die. All Our Friends Are Here.

He Looked Like Those Paintings Of Baby Angels - What Do You Call Them, Hubbubs? No Cherubs. That's It. He Looked Like A Cherub Who'd Turned Middle-aged In A Trailer Park.

You Deal With Mythological Stuff For A Few Years, You Learn That Paradises Are Usually Places Where You Get Killed.

Two U.s. Marine Skeletons Guarded The Doors. They Grinned Down At Us, Rocket-propelled Grenade Launchers Held Across Their Chests. "you Know," Grover Mumbled, "i Bet Hades Doesn't Have Trouble With Door-to-door Salesman.

I Am Committed To Writing Appropriate Books For The Middle Grades. This Means No Bad Language, No Gratuitous Or Explicit Violence, And No Sexual Content Beyond What You Might Find In A Pg-rated Movie – Expressions Of Who Likes Whom, Holding Hands, And Perhaps The Occasional Kiss. The Idea That We Should Treat Sexual Orientation Itself As An Adults-only Topic, However, Is Absurd. Non-heterosexual Children Exist. To Pretend They Do Not, To Fail To Recognize That They Have Needs For Support And Validation Like Any Child, Would Be Bad Teaching, Bad Writing, And Bad Citizenship.

There’s Nothing Here,” Carter Said. “what Do You Want?” I Asked. “we’ve Got Wax, Some Toilet Papyrus, An Ugly Statue.

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