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The Thing About Plummetting Downhill At Fifty Miles An Hour On A Snack Platter - If You Realize It's A Bad Idea When You're Halfway Down, It's Too Late.

-Rick Riordan

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The Thing About Plummetting

Rick Riordan

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The Thing About Plummetting Downhill At Fifty Miles An Hour On A Snack Platter - If You Realize It's A Bad Idea When You're Halfway Down, It's Too Late.

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I Think Anytime You're Writing To The Middle Grades, You're Writing To Young Readers Who Are Trapped In A Number Of Ways Between Two Worlds: Between Childhood And Adulthood, Between Their Friends And Their Parents.

I Guess It Wasn't Everyday They See A Yellow Lifeboat With No Engine Going A Hundred Knots An Hour, Manned By Three Kids.

Race You To The Road?" I Said. "you Are So Going To Lose." She (annabeth) Took Off Down Half-blood Hill And I Sprinted After Her. For Once, I Didn't Look Back.

I Like Both Greek And Egyptian. More Greek Stories Have Survived, So We Know More About Them. They've Always Been My Favorite. On The Other Hand, I Like The Egyptian Stories Because They're Not As Commonly Known And They Have An Exotic Flavour.

When I Was Alive, I Mean The First Time, Mussolini Was In Charge. We Were At War.” “mussolini?” Leo Frowned. “wasn’t He Like Bffs With Hitler?

Where Are You Taking Us?" Nico Said. "you Should Be Honored, My Boy. You Will Have The Opportunity To Join A Great Army! Just Like That Silly Game You Play With Cards And Dolls." "they're Not Dolls! They're Figurines! And You Can Take Your Great Army And—

Yay!' He Said. 'now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!

The Old Women Only Stuck Around This Long Out Of A Sense Of Duty. Your Mom Was The Same Way. That's Why I Loved Her. She Put Her Duty First, Ahead Of Evverything.

Can’t This Thing Go Any Faster?” Thalia Demanded. Zoe Glared At Her. “i Cannot Control Traffic.” You Both Sound Like My Mother,” I Said. Shut Up!” They Both Said In Union.

She Sacrificed Her Life To Make Things Right," Mitchell Grumbled. "she[silena Beuregard] Was A Hero

Make Things Right

I Hate To Tell You This,” Jason Said, “but I Think Your Leopard Just Ate A Goddess.

Vulcan?" Leo Demanded. "i Don't Even Like Star Trek!

You Said Your Mom Is The Goddess Of Balance," I Reminded Him. "the Minor Gods Deserve Better, Ethan, But Total Destruction Isn't Balance. Kronos Doesn't Build. He Only Destroys.

Set’s Storm Is Gathering,” Amos Said With A Twinkle In His Eyes. “shall We Drive Into Is?

He Raised An Eyebrow. "you Claim Not To Know Me? Of Course I'm Thoth. Also Called Djehuti. Also Called--" I [sadie] Stifled A Laugh. "ja-hooty?" Thoth Looked Offended. "in Ancient Egyptian, It's A Perfectly Fine Name. The Greeks Called Me Thoth. Then Later They Confused Me With Their God Hermes. Even Had The Nerve To Rename My Sacred City Hermopolis, Though We're Nothing Alike. Believe Me, If You've Ever Met Hermes--

Annabeth’s Shoulders Ached. The Elevator’s Easy-listening Music Didn’t Help. If All Monsters Had To Hear That Song About Liking Piña Coladas And Getting Caught In The Rain, No Wonder They Were In The Mood For Carnage When They Reached The Mortal World.

But I've Never Even Been To Olympus! Zeus Is Crazy!" Chiron And Grover Glanced Nervously At The Sky. The Clouds Didn't Seem To Be Parting Around Us, As Grover Had Promised. They Were Rolling Straight Over Our Valley, Sealing Us In Like A Coffin Lid. Er, Percy ...?" Grover Said. "we Don't Use The C-word To Describe The Lord Of The Sky.

The First Lesson Every Child Of Athena Learned: Mom Was The Best At Everything, And You Should Never, Ever Suggest Otherwise.

Oh, Don't Mind Me! Just The Queen Of The Heavens, Dying Over Here!

I Didn't Understand How. But The Toilets Had Responded To Me. I Had Become One With The Plumbing.

My Mother Was Gone. The Whole World Should Be Black And Cold. Nothing Should Look Beautiful.

You Mix Greek And Roman, You Know What You Get? You Get Bam!

Do Not Despair. Heroes Rarely Live Up To To Our Expectations

Humans Don't Exist On The Same Level As Immortals. They Can't Even Be Hurt By Our Weapons. But You,percy - You Are Part God,part Human.you Live In Both Worlds.you Can Be Harmed By Both,and You Can Affect Both. That's What Makes Heroes So Special.

[iris] Squeezed His Hand. "don't Lose Hope, Frank. Rainbows Always Stand For Hope.

Zoë Threw Up Her Hands In Exasperation. "i Hate This Language. It Changes Too Often!

If You've Ever Tried Ba Travel, I Wouldn't Recommend It-- Unless Of Course You Fancy Turning Into A Phantom Chicken And Rafting Uncontrollably Through The Currents Of The Duat.

Dakota's Head Was Stuck In His Toga. He Staggered Around Olike A Kool-aid-stained Ghost. "um," Percy Said, "should I Wear My Bed Sheets?

If I'm Going To Survive, It Won't Be Because I Have A Lion-skin Cloak. I'm Not Hercules.

I Past Another Telkhine, Who Was So Startled He Dropped His Lil' Demons Lunch Box. I Left Him Alive - Partly Because He Had A Cool Lunch Box.

He'd Changed Since The Last Summer. Instead Of Bermuda Shorts And A T-shirt, He Wore A Button-down Shirt, Khaki Pants, And Leather Loafers. His Sandy Hair, Which Used To Be So Unruly, Was Now Clipped Short. He Look Like An Evil Male Model, Showing Off What The Fashionable College-age Villain Was Wearing To Harvard This Year.

I Haven't Devoured A Soul In...what Month Is This? March?

The Vulture Nekhbet, Who'd One Possessed My Gran (long Story); The Crocodile Sobek, Who'd Tried To Kill My Cat (longer Story); And The Lion Goddess Sekhmet, Whom We'd Once Vanished In Hot Sauce ( Don't Even Ask) - Page 9

Leo: "so...giants Who Can Throw Mountains. Friendly Wolves That Will Eat Us If We Show Weakness. Evil Espresso Drinks. Gotcha. Maybe This Isn't The Best Time To Bring Up My Psycho Babysitter." Piper: "is That Another Joke?

Doubtful, But It Did Work... "annabeth?" Percy Said Again. "you're Planning Something. You've Got That I'm-planning-something Look." "i Don't Have An I'm-planning-something Look." "yeah, You Totally Do. Your Eyebrows Knit And Your Lips Press Together And ---" "do You Have A Pen?" She Asked Him. "you're Kidding, Right?" He Brought Out Riptide. "yes, But Can You Actually Write With It?" "i--i Don't Know," He Admitted. "never Tried.

And In The Fountain Squatted A Giant Crab. I’m Not Talking ‘giant’ Like $7.99 All-you-can-eat Alaskan King Crab. I’m Talking ‘giant’ Like Bigger Than The Fountain.

We Only Came Close To Dying Six Or Seven Times, Which I Thought Was Pretty Good. Once, I Lost My Grip And Found Myself Dangling By One Hand From A Ledge Fifty Feet Above The Rocky Surf. But I Found Another Handhold And Kept Climbing. A Minute Later Annabeth Hit A Slippery Patch Of Moss And Her Foot Slipped. Fortunately, She Found Something Else To Put It Against. Unfortunately, That Something Was My Face. "sorry," She Murrmured. "s'okay," I Grunted, Though I'd Never Really Wanted To Know What Annabeth's Sneaker Tasted Like.

There Were A Lot Of Answers I Might've Given, From "i Knew That" To "liar!" To "yeah Right, And I'm Zeus." - Percy, After Quintus Says That He Is Daedalus

I Held Out The Painting Of The Cat And The Snake. “it’s A Cat And A Snake,” Thoth Said. Thank You, God Of Wisdom. You Placed It For Us To Find, Didn’t You? You’re Trying To Give Us Some Sort Of Clue.” “who, Me?” Just Kill Him, Horus Said. Shut Up, I Said. At Least Kill The Guitar.

Good Luck, Boss. Don't Let'em Turn You Into Horse Meat! (blackjack)

I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-algebra Teacher

I Turned And Faced The Olympians. "we Need A Shroud," I Announced, My Voice Cracking. "a Shroud For The Son Of Hermes.

“there’s My Baby!” I Cried, Quite Carried Away. “there’s My Poochiekins!” Ammit Ran At Me And Leaped Into My Arms, Nuzzling Me With His Rough Snout. “my Lord Osiris!” Disturber Lost The Bottom Of His Scroll Again, Which Unraveled Around His Legs. “this Is An Outrage!” “sadie,” Dad Said Firmly, “please Do Not Refer To The Devourer Of Souls As Poochiekins.”

Cabin Fifteen Does That To Everyone," Annabeth Warned. "if You Ask Me, This Place Is Even More Dangerous Than The Ares Cabin. At Least With Ares, You Can Learn Where The Land Mines Are." "land Mines?

So Let Me Get This Straight,” Carter Said. “the Two Guys You Liked—one Who Was Dying And One Who Was Off-limits Because He’s A God—are Now One Guy, Who Isn’t Dying And Isn’t Off-limits. And You’re Complaining.

Green Grass Breaks Through Snow, Artemis Pleads For My Help, I Am So Cool.

Grover Started To Sniffle And I Figured If I Didn't Cheer Him Up He'd Either Start Bawling Or Chewing Up My Mattress. He Tends To Eat Household Objects Whenever He Gets Upset.

When I Got Across, I Looked Back And Saw Tyson Giving Grover A Piggyback Ride (or Was It A Goatyback Ride?).

Hazel: "there," She Said.the Official Building On Their Left Had A Single Word Etched On The Glass Doors: Amazon. "oh," Frank Said."uh, No, Hazel. That's A Modern Thing. They're A Company, Right? They Sell Stuff On The Internet. They're Not Actually Amazons." "unless..." Percy Walked Through The Doors.

He Looked Like Those Paintings Of Baby Angels - What Do You Call Them, Hubbubs? No Cherubs. That's It. He Looked Like A Cherub Who'd Turned Middle-aged In A Trailer Park.

I (percy) Set Nico On Guard Duty With Beckendorf And The Stoll Brothers, Figuring He'd Be Safely Out Of The Way. ... "what's Happening?" Nico Demanded, Trying To Climb Up Next To Me.

It Is True I Do Not Like Fire. But Leo Valdez's Flames Are Not Strong Enough To Trouble Me." Somewhere Behind Hazel, A Soft, Lyrical Voice Said, "what About My Flames, Old Friend?" "you," He Said From Percy's Mouth. "me," Hecate Agreed. "it Has Been Millennia Since I Fought At The Side Of A Demigod. What Do You Say? Shall We Play With Fire?

They [percy And Annabeth] Held The Doors Shut As The Elevator Shuddered And The Music Played, While Somewhere Below Them, A Titan And A Giant Sacrificed Their Lives For Their Escape.

Six Minus Six Is Zero. Spears Are Good For Subtraction Ella Said

You're Alive!" Percy Said To The Others. "the Giants Said You Were Captured. What Happened?" Leo Shrugged. "oh, Just Another Brilliant Plan By Leo Valdez. You'd Be Amazed What You Can Do With An Archimedes Sphere, A Girl Who Can Sense Stuff Underground, And A Weasel." "i Was The Weasel," Frank Said Glumly.

We Were Absolutely Destined To Meet Your Hot Sister

Let Me Explain: There Are Dragons, And Then There Are Drakons. Drakons Are Several Millennia Older Than Dragons, Andmuch Larger. They Look Like Giant Serpents. Most Don't Have Wings. Most Don't Breathe Fire (though Some Do). All Are Poisonous. All Are Immensely Strong, With Scales Harder Than Titanium. Their Eyes Can Paralyze You; Not The Turn-you~to-stone Medusa-type Paralysis, Buttheoh~my~gods-that~big~snake~is~going~to~eat~me Type Of Paralysis, Which Is Just As Bad.

I Guess It Started In London, The Night Our Dad Blew Up The British Museum.

He Dropped The Rest Of The Cokes Into The Grave And Pulled Out A White Paper Bag Decorated With Cartoons. I Hadn’t Seen One In Years, But I Recognized It — A Mcdonald’s Happy Meal. He Turned It Upside Down And Shook The Fries And Hamburger Into The Grave. “in My Day, We Used Animal Blood,” The Ghost Mumbled. “it’s Perfectly Good Enough. They Can’t Taste The Difference.” “i Will Treat Them With Respect,” Nico Said. “at Least Let Me Keep The Toy,” The Ghost Said.

Hey! Guy With Scary Eyes?" Madison Called Out. "you Know What A Moose Does When Someone Insults Her Family?" Ivan Raised His Eyebrows. "she Does This." Madison Crouched Down And Charged Ivan. Her Head Hit Him In The Stomach.

He Pinched The Name Tag And Ran His Fingers Under The Letters. "can You Read This, Mate? It Says C-h-a-r-o-n. Say It With Me: Care-on." "charon." "amazing! Now: Mr. Charon." "mr. Charon." "well Done.

We Walked On The Beach, Fed Blue Corn Ships To The Seagulls, And Munched On Blue Jelly Beans, Blue Saltwater Taffy And All The Other Free Samples My Mom Brought Home From Work. I Guess I Should Explain The Blue Food. See, Gabe Had Once Told My Mom There Was No Such Thing. They Had This Fight, Which Seemed Like A Really Small Thing At The Time. But Ever Since, My Mom Went Out Of Her Way To Eat Blue. She Baked Blue Birthday Cakes. She Mixed Blueberry Smoothies. She Bought Blue-corn Tortilla Chips And Brought Home Blue Candy From The Shop.

We'de Have To Get In And Get Out The Hard Way; And If We Made A Mistake, There Was No Telling What Sort Of Curse We'de Unleash: Monster Guardians, Plagues, Fires, Exploding Donkeys(don't Laugh; They're Bad News).

Yay!” Tyson Went Around The Couches And Gave Everyone A Big Hug—even Octavian, Who Didn't Look Thrilled About It.

How Do You Have Five Children In A Row, Each On A Different Say?” “they’re Gods,” Carter Said. “they Can Do Stuff Like That.

If I've Got The Powers Of A God, Then Why Am I So..." "lame?" Sadie Suggested. "shut Up," I Said.

Armed With My Sword And Wand, I Was All Set For A Stroll Through The Swamp To Look For A Hungry Monster. Oh, Joy!

I Love To Read And You Should Read Percy Kackson & The Olympians The Last One The Best

So You've Got No Name?" I Asked. "they Couldn't Think Of One Ugly Enough?" The Creature Snarled, Stepping Over The Unconscious Policeman. "set Animal Is Too Hard To Say," I Decided. "i'll Call You Leroy." Apparently, Leroy Didn't Like His Name. He Lunged.

Percy," My Mom Said. "i Give You My Blessing." "be Safe Brother!" Tyson Pleaded. "enchiladas!" Grover Said. I Wasn't Sure Where That Came From, But It Didn't Seem To Help Much.

Sometimes Things Don't End Okay.

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

You Titans Are About As Bright As My Gym Socks.

The Name Says It All. That's Where Dad (hades) Tries Out His New Punishment Ideas, But He Says The Traditional Ones Still Work Best: The Lava Flows, The Minefields Full Of Exploding Surprises, Burning At The Stake, Running Naked Through Cactus Patches... You Name It, We've Got It Here - Nico Di Angelo

I Looked At Thalia. "you're Afraid Of Heights." Now That We Were Safely Down The Mountain, Her Eyes Had Their Usual Angry Look. "don't Be Stupid." That Explains Why You Freaked Out On Apollo's Bus. Why You Didn't Want To Talk About It." She Took A Deep Breath. Then She Brushed The Pine Needles Out Of Her Hair. "if You Tell Anyone, I Swear—" No, No," I Said. "that's Cool. It's Just… The Daughter Of Zeus, The Lord Of The Sky, Afraid Of Heights?

He Remembered His Home Now, And That Gave Him New Determination To Succeed. He Was Fighting For Two Camps Now -- Two Families.

To Foreswear Romantic Love Forever. To Never Grow Up, Never Get Married. To Be Maiden Eternally.

Die, Enemies Of Ra!" Sekhemet Yelled. "perish In Agony!" "she's Almost As Annoying As You," I Told Horus. "impossible," Horus Said. "no One Bests Horus.

That Perseus Always Won. That's Why My Momhad Named Me After Him, Even If He Was Son Of Zeus Ann I Was Son Of Posidon. The Original Perseus Was One Of The Only Heros In The Greek Myths Who Got A Happy Ending. The Others Died-betrayed, Mauled, Mutilated, Poisoned, Or Cursed By The Gods. My Mom Hoped I Would Inherit Perseus's Luck. Judging By How My Life Was Going So Far, I Wasn't Too Optimistic.

Even When She Looked Scared, She Had A Lot Of Guts.

Just Because You Don't See Me Doesn't Mean I Wasn't There

Reyna Sent Me To Get Percy," Frank Said. "did Octavian Accept You?" "yeah," Percy Said. "he Slaughtered My Panda.

Shut Up, Me,” Leo Said Aloud. “what?” Piper Asked. “nothing,” He Said. “long Night. I Think I’m Hallucinating. It’s Cool.” Sitting In Front, Leo Couldn’t See Their Faces, But He Assumed From Their Silence That His Friends Were Not Pleased To Have A Sleepless, Hallucinating Dragon Driver. “just Joking.” Leo Decided It Might Be Good To Change The Subject.

The Truth Is Harsh." Anubis Said. "spirits Come To The Hall Of Judgement All The Time, And They Cannot Let Go Of Their Lies. They Deny Their Faults, Their True Feelings, Their Mistakes.......right Up Until Ammit Devours Their Souls For Eternity. It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

All I Heard Was The Blood Rushing Through My Ears, And The Distant Rumble And Crackle Of The Lake Of Fire. (and Khufu Scratching Himself And Grunting, But That Was Nothing New.)

Sadie Kane Here. If You're Listening To This, Congratulations, You Survived Doomsday.

Congratulations

Suddenly His Expression Turned To Alarm. He Sprinted Toward Us. For A Moment I Had An Absurd Vision Of Myself On The Cover Of One Of Gran’s Old Romance Novels, Where The Damsel Wilts Into The Arms Of One Half-dressed Beefy Guy While Another Stands By,casting Her Longing Looks. Oh, The Horrible Choices A Girl Must Make! I Wished I’d Had A Moment To Clean Up. I Was Still Covered In Dried River Muck, Twine, And Grass, Like I’d Been Tarred And Feathered. Then Anubis Pushed Past Me And Gripped Walt’s Shoulders. Well…that Was Unexpected.

Laistrygonians. Cannibals. Northern Giants. Sasquatch Legend. Yep, Yep. They Are Not Birds. Not Birds Of North America.

Let's Boogie,' He (leo) Said. 'before I Come To My Senses

Remake The World, A Little At A Time, Each In Your Own Corner Of The World.

No Man May Be Completely Invulnerable.

She Reached Into Her Coat Pocket And Felt Two Things She Hadn't Expected.... One Was A Wad Of Cash... She Brought Out The Money. Leo Whistled. "allowance? Piper, Your Mom Rocks!

Now, Come Over Here So I Can Pat You Down." "but You Don't Have-" Percy Stopped. "uh, Sure." He Stood Next To The Armless Statue. Terminus Conducted A Rigorous Mental Pat Down. "you Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare That This Is Stupid.

"yeah, Flattering." Percy Raised Riptide. "but Actually I'm The Son Of Poseidon. I'm From Camp Half-blood."

With Great Power... Comes Great Need To Take A Nap. Wake Me Up Later.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Percy Looked At His Friends. “i’m Getting Tired Of This Guy’s Shirt.

I Turned To Annabeth And Shook My Head In Exasperation. “always Hercules. What Is It With Hercules?” Annabeth Shrugged. “he Had A Great Publicist.

Humor Was A Good Way To Hide The Pain.

So Mortals Tend To See Only What They Can Understand.

I've Always Liked The Idea That Writing Is A Form Of Travel. And I Started My Writing Career As A Mystery Novelist For Adults.

Nothing Lasts Forever. But The Thing Is, You Can Reuse Some. Use Your Mind. - Leo's Mother, The Lost Hero

Marvelous,” She Said. “tell Me About This Tapestry.” Arachne’s Lips Curled Over Her Mandibles. “why Do You Care? You're About To Die.” “well, Yes,” Annabeth Said. “but The Way You Captured The Light Is Amazing. Did You Use Real Gold Thread For The Sunbeams?

But How Did You Know Where We Were?" Annabeth Asked. Advanced Planning, My Dear. I Figured You Would Wash Up Near Miami If You Made It Out Of The Sea Of Monsters Alive. Almost Everything Strange Washes Up Near Miami.

Plus, Humor Ws A Good Way To Hide The Pain. And If That Didn't Work, There Was Always Plan B. Run Aaway. Over And Over.

Now, I Figured That The Built-up Gas In Most Boys' Locker Rooms Was Enough To Cause An Explosion, So I Wasn't Surprised When The Flaming Dodgeball Ignited A Huge Whooooooom!

No Which Fish Are Big Enough To Land

Great,” Percy Said. “i Always Wanted To Be Glue.

If You'd Sat There Any Longer,' Annabeth Said, 'you Would Have Spontaneously Combusted. I Hope The Conversation Was Worth It?

We’re Staying Together,” He Promised. “you’re Not Getting Away From Me. Never Again.” Only Then Did She Understand What Would Happen. A One-way Trip. A Very Hard Fall. ”as Long As We’re Together,” She Said. She Heard Nico And Hazel Still Screaming For Help. She Saw Sunlight Far, Far Above- Maybe The Last Sunlight She Would Ever See. Then Percy Let Go Of His Ledge, And Together, Holding Hands, He And Annabeth Fell Into The Endless Darkness.

Do You Think Me Cruel?” Neith Asked. “oh, Yes, I Collect The Pockets Of My Enemies.” “horrifying,” I Said. “i Didn’t Know Demons Had Pockets.” “oh, Yes.” Neith Glanced In Either Direction, Apparently To Be Sure No One Was Eavesdropping. “you Just Have To Know Where To Look.

Damien Vesper Didn't Plan On Killing Anyone Today

There Are Parties And Then There Are Huge Major Blowout Parties. And Then There Are Olympian Parties. If You Ever Get A Choice Go For The Olympian.

You Can't Call A Ninja Lord Dweeb.

I Found Myself Staring At Her, Which Was Stupid Since I'd Seen Her A Billion Times. Still, She Seemed So Much More Mature. It Was Kind Of Intimidating. I Mean, Sure, She'd Always Been Cute, But She Was Starting To Be Seriously Beautiful.

Thoth's Beak! You Are Impossibley Stubborn." "yeah, It's A Gift.

I Sat Up And The Blankets Fell Away.i Looked Down And Found I Was Wearing Pokemon Pajamas. "sadie,"i Said,"i'm Going To Kill You." She Batted Her Eyes Innocently."but The Street Merchant Gave Us A Very Good Deal On Those.walt Said They Would Fit You." Walt Raised His Hand."don't Blame Me,man.i Tried To Stick Up For You." Bes Snorted,then Did A Pretty Good Imitation Of Walt's Voice:"at Least Get The Extra-large Ones With Pikachu.

I Want A Room Decorated With Bones!" Dan Said. "where'd They Come From?" "cemeteries," Amy Said. "back In The 1700s, The Cemeteries Were Getting Overcrowded, So They Decided To Dig Up Tons Of Old Bodies–all Their Bones–and Move Them Into The Catacombs. The Thing Is...look At The Dates. See When They Started Moving Bones Into The Catacombs?" Dan Squinted At The Screen. He Didn't See What She Was Talking About. "is It My Birthday?

Sugar And Caffeine. My Willpower Crumbled.

Nico, I've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Just Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

P.s. You'll Have To Meet With Dan's Principal When You Get Back. He Got In Trouble For Doing Ninja Moves In Class. Don't Worry. This Happens All The Time.

You Assume That It Has To Be A Male God Who Finds A Human Female Attractive? How Sexist Is That?

She Stared At Me. "fly, ;ole, In An Airplane, Which You Were Warned Never To Do Lest Zeus Strike You Out Of The Sky, And Carrying A Weapon That Has More Destructive Power Than A Nuclear Bomb?" "yeah," I Said. "pretty Much Exactly Like That.

It's Not Bad Enough I Am Exiled? It's Not Bad Enough You Take Away The Few Good Heroes I'm Allowed To Meet? You Think It's Funny To Send Me This This ― This Charbroiled Runt Of A Boy To Ruin My Tranquility? This Is Not Funny! Take Him Back!

Maybe If He Did Really Well They'd Give Him Some Mouldy Apples.

I Had Weird Dreams Full Of Barnyard Animals. Most Of Them Wanted To Kill Me. The Rest Wanted Food.

My Sword Reappeared In My Pocket. Yeah,great Timing.now I Could Attack The Walls All I Wanted.my Cell Had No Bar,no Window,not Even A Door

Despicable Creatures, Vultures: Without A Doubt The Most Disgusting Birds Ever. I Suppose They Served Their Purpose, But Did They Have To Be So Greasy And Ugly? Couldn't We Have Cute Fuzzy Rabbits That Cleaned Up Roadkill Instead?

Leo Got Up And Brushed Himself Off. "i Hate That Guy". He Offered Jason His Arm Like They Should Go Skipping Together."i`m Dylan. I`m So Cool, I Want To Date Myself, But I Can`t Figure Out How! You Want To Date Me Instead? You`re So Lucky!" "leo" Jason Said "you`re Weird

Percy Smiled At Her - That Sarcastic Troublemaker Smile That Had Annoyed Her For Years But Eventually Had Become Endearing. His Sea-green Eyes Were As Gorgeous As She Remembered. His Dark Hair Was Swept To One Side, Like He'd Just Come From A Walk On The Beach. He Looked Even Better Than He Had Six Months Ago - Tanner And Taller, Leaner And More Muscular. Percy Threw His Arms Around Her. They Kissed And For A Moment Nothing Else Mattered. An Asteroid Could Have Hit The Planet And Wiped Out All Life, And Annabeth Wouldn't Have Cared.

Aphrodite Strikes Again, Huh? You're Gonna Be The Best-dressed Warrior In Town, Beauty Queen.

Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

You Have To Read A Lot So You Know What Good Writing Looks Like And You Get Inspired. You Have To Write A Lot Because It's Like A Sport - You Have To Practice. And, Also, You Have To Persevere. Don't Give Up. I Got Rejected On My First Book, Like, 14 Times, But I Just Kept Going. So Believe In Yourself And Don't Give Up.

Percy Frowned "you Have A Feast For Tuna?

Before Keto Could Notice, Hedge Pointed Towards The Top Of The Amphitheater. It Looked Like He Might Be Screaming, Gods Of Olympus, What Is That? Keto Turned. Coach Hedge Promptly Took Off His Fake Foot And Ninja-kicked Her In The Back Of The Head With His Goat Hoof.

She Deserved At Least One Person Who Saw Her And Knew How Good She Was.

Annabeth:my Fatal Flaw. That's What The Sirens Showed Me. My Fatal Flaw Is Hubris. Percy: The Brown Stuff They Spread On Veggie Sandwiches? Annabeth:no, Seaweed Brain. That's Hummus. Hubris Is Worse. Percy: What Could Be Worse Than Hummus? Annabeth: Hubris Means Deadly Pride, Percy. Thinking You Can Do Things Better Than Anyone Else... Even The Gods.

I Play Dodgeball With Cannibals (chapter 2)

Leo Could Run Pretty Fast When Someone Was Trying To Kill Him. Sadly, He’d Had A Lot Of Practice.

Hi, This Is Ganymede, Cup-bearer To Zeus, And When I'm Out Buying Wine For The Lord Of The Skies, I Always Buckle Up!

Percy: Don't I Get A Kiss For Luck? It's Kind Of A Tradition, Right? Annabeth: Come Back Alive, Seaweed Brain. Then We'll See.

You're A Demigod Percy, Half God And Half Mortal!

We Were Alone In A Strange Mansion With A Baboon, A Crocodile, And A Weird Cat. And Apparently, The Entire World Was In Danger. I Looked At Sadie. “what Do We Do Now?

Hazel Squinted. "how Far?" "just Over The River And Through The Woods." Percy Raised An Eyebrow. "seriously? To Grandmother's House We Go?" Frank Cleared His Throat. "yeah, Anyway.

I Try To Craft Books That Are Fun, That Are Sort Of Subversively Educational So Kids Learn But They Don't Really Feel Like They're Being Lectured To, And I Want Kids To Always Finish One Of My Books And Think, "that Was Great, Where's The Next One?"

Trantulus Casually Roasted A Marshmallow And Reached Out For It But The Marshmallow Commited Sucide And Dived Into The Flames.

Before I Could Do Anything Rash, A Familiar Voice Behind Me Said, "hello, Sadie." The Other Girls Let Out A Collective Gasp. My Pulse Quickened From "slow Walk" To "fifty-meter-dash." I Turned And Found That-yes, Indeed-the God Anubis Had Crashed Our Dance.

Don't Feel Bad, I'm Usually About To Die.

Now Fight Me! For Today Thee House Of Hades Will Be Called The Saviors Of Olympus.

Think About Isis,” Jaz Repeated. “and Sadie…there Is A Purpose. You Taught Us That. We Choose To Believe In Ma'at. We Create Order Out Of Chaos, Beauty And Meaning Out Of Ugly Randomness. That's What Egypt Is All About. That's Why Its Name, Its Ren, Has Endured For Millennia. Don't Despair. Otherwise Chaos Wins.

I, Horus, Son Of Osiris, Claim The Throne Of The Heavens As My Birthright!" He Shouted."what Was Once Mine Shall Be Mine Again.is There Anyone Who Would Challenge Me?" The Gods Flickered And Glowed. A Few Scowled. One Muttered Something That Sounded Like "cheese", Although That Could've Been My Imagination.

You're Bes, I Guess?" I Said. "yes," He Said. "your Car's A Mess," Liz Muttered. "if One More Person Rhymes," Emma Grumbled, "i'll Throw Up.

They Know They’ve Won,” Carter Guessed. “they’re Making A Show Of It.” “yes,” Amos Said. “well, Let’s Blow Up The Boats Or Something!” I Said. Amos Looked At Me. “is That Your Strategy, Honestly?

Writing Is Like A Sport. If You Don't Practice, You Don't Get Any Better.

That Was So Completely Unfair That I Told Tantalus To Go Chase A Donut, Which Didn't Help His Mood.

When I Was Young, My Favorite Picture Book Was 'fletcher And Zenobia,' Written By Edward Gorey And Illustrated By Victoria Chess. It's Long Out Of Print Now, But Its Mix Of Macabre Humor And 1960s Psychedelia Made It A Perfect Children's Book For The Times.

Percy: I Thought I’d Lost My Mom Forever, And I Was Stuck On A Hill In A Thunderstorm Fighting This Huge Bull Dude While Grover Was Passed Out Wailing. “food!” It Was Terrifying, Man.

But Remember, Boy, That A Kind Act Can Sometimes Be As Powerful As A Sword. As A Mortal, I Was Never A Great Fighter Or Athlete Or Poet. I Only Made Wine. The People In My Village Laughed At Me. They Said I Would Never Amount To Anything. Look At Me Now. Sometimes Small Things Can Become Very Large Indeed.

Deadlines Just Aren't Real To Me Until I'm Staring One In The Face.

My Experience With Khonsu Had Taught Me Not Be Greedy About Time. It Was Best To Appreciate What You Had And Not Yearn For More.

Poison!" Grover Yelped. "don't Let Those Things Touch You Or..." "or We'll Die?" I Guessed. "well...after You Shrivel Slowly To Dust, Yes." "let's Avoid The Swords," I Decided.

What Horrible Things Would You Have To Do In Your Life To Get Woven Into Hades's Underwear?

Well That Was Sucktastic

Rachel: You're A Half-blood, Too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just Announce It To The World, How About? Rachel: Okay. Hey, Everybody! These Two Aren't Human! They're Half Greek God!...they Don't Seem To Care.

I Don't Think About Being Famous, Really. Being An Author, I Don't Generally Get Stopped As I Walk Down The Street. It's Not Like Being A Movie Star.

That Sounded About As Likely As Apophis And Ra Becoming Facebook Buddies, But I Decided Not To Say Anything.

You Have A Humming Dodo Bird," I Said Stupidly.

You Mean A Bad Heel?" I Said. "couldn't I Just, Like, Wear Something Besides Sandals? No Offense." -percy

Husband, We Talked About This," Persephone Chided. "you Can't Go Around Incinerating Every Hero. Besides, He's Brave. I Like That." Hades Rolled His Eyes. "you Liked That Orpheus Fellow Too. Look How Well That Turned Out.

I Held Out A Lead Figurine Of Hades—the Little Mythomagic Statue Nico Had Abandoned When He Fled Camp Last Winter. Nico Hesitated. "i Don’t Play That Game Anymore. It’s For Kids." "it’s Got Four Thousand Attack Power," I Coaxed. "five Thousand," Nico Corrected. "but Only If Your Opponent Attacks First." I Smiled. "maybe It’s Okay To Still Be A Kid Once In A While.

Look, I Need To Tell You Something,' I Continued. The Words Came Stumbling Out Of Me. 'i Couldnt Stand It If...i Dont Want You To---' Percy?' She Said. 'you Look Like You're Going To Be Sick.' And That's How I Felt.

Curse Hermes And His Multi-vitamins!

That's Me. Ancient History." [poseidon To Paul]

Ancient History

Tyson," I Said "we're Turning Around!" Going The Wrong Way?" He Asked. Always," I Grumbled, But I Steered The Chariot Towards The Stands.

I’m A Cat. I Respect The Sanctity Of Sleep.

You Speak Horse?" Hazel Asked. "speaking To Horses Is A Poseidon Thing," Percy Said. "uh, I Mean A Neptune Thing." "then You And Arion Should Get Along Fine," Hazel Said. "he's A Son Of Neptune Too." Percy Turned Pale. "excuse Me?

So, Destroy?" Cal Asked. Clearly, The Conversation Was Giving His Two Brain Cells A Serious Workout.

I Have Some Extra Costumes-" "no!" Ephialtes Snapped, And For Once Percy Was In Agreement.

Frank Zhang: Lumbering Klutz, Child Of Mars, Part-time Pachyderm.

My Dear Young Cousin, If There's One Thing I've Learned Over The Eons, It's That You Can't Give Up On Your Family, No Matter How Tempting They Make It.

Laistry....i Can't Even Say That. What Would You Call Them In English?" "canadians.

I'd Love To Tell You I Had Some Deep Revelation On My Way Down, That I Came To Terms With My Own Mortality, Laughed In The Face Of Death, Et Cetera. The Truth? My Only Thought Was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

Different Elevator Music Was Playing Since My Last Visit-that Old Disco Song "stayin' Alive." A Terrifying Image Flashed Through My Mind Of Apollo In Bell-bottom Pants And A Slinky Silk Shirt.

Percy Is The Most Powerful Demigod I've Ever Met. No Offense To You Guys But It's True.

Gabe Scratched His Double Chin. "maybe If You Hurry With The Seven-layer Dip...and Maybe If The Kid Apologizes For Interrupting My Poker Game." Maybe If I Kick You In Your Soft Spot, I Thought. And Make You Sing Soprano For A Week.

Hey Grover! Thorn's Kidnapping Us! He's A Poisonous Spike-throwing Maniac! Help!

God Alert!" Blackjack Yelled. "it's The Wine Dude! Mr. D Sighed In Exasperation. "the Next Person, Or Horse, Who Calls Me The 'wine Dude' Will End Up In A Bottle Of Merlot!

Percy Blinked. “so Your Brother Is A Winged Horse. But You’re Also My Half Brother, Which Means All The Flying Horses In The World Are My…you Know What? Lets’ Forget It.

Percy’d Heard Stories About Amputees Who Had Phantom Pains Where Their Missing Legs And Arms Used To Be. That’s How His Mind Felt—like His Missing Memories Were Aching.

Fish Gathered To Look At Us - A School Of Baracudas, Some Curious Marines. Scram! I Told Them. They Swam Off, But I Could Tell They Went Reluctantly. I Swear I Understood Their Intencions. They Were About To Star Rumors Flighing Around The Sea About The Son Of Poseidon And Some Girl At The Bottom Of Siren Bay.

Sometimes It Is Better To Have Someone You Mistrust Close To You, So That You Can Keep An Eye On Him - Chiron

People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can't Be Fixed.

Gods Have Great Power, But Only Humans Have Creativity, The Power To Change History.

You Have To Rise Above The Squabbling And Chaos, And Keep Believing. You Have To Always Keep Your Goals In Mind.” -hera, Goddess Of Marriage

Thanks For Everything.” “as You Wish,” The Captain Said. If Axes Could Frown, I’m Sure He Would Have. “stay Sharp,” Carter Told Him.

I Have To Be Careful. My Readers Are Very Detail-oriented, And If I Make A Mistake They'll Call Me On It.

Why Did Adults Have To Be So Thick? They Always Say “tell The Truth,” And When You Do, They Don’t Believe You. What’s The Point?

Telling The Truth

Gaea?” Leo Shook His Head. “isn’t That Mother Nature? She’s Supposed To Have, Like, Flowers In Her Hair And Birds Singing Around Her And Dear And Rabbits Doing Her Laundry.” “leo, That’s Snow White,” Piper Said.

They Both (thalia And Hera) Glared At Her, And For Three Long Seconds, Piper Wasn’t Sure Which One Of Them Was Going To Kill Her First.

They Sped By A Pack Of Sea Lions Lounging On The Docks, And She Swore She Saw An Old Homeless Guy Sitting Among Them. From Across The Water The Old Man Pointed A Bony Finger At Percy And Mouthed Something Like 'don't Even Think About It.' "did You See That?" Hazel Asked. Percy's Face Was Red In The Sunset. "yeah. I've Been Here Before. I...i Don't Know. I Think I Was Looking For My Girlfriend." "annabeth," Frank Said. "you Mean, On Your Way To Camp Jupiter?" Percy Frowned. "no. Before That.

Poseidon’s Trident Was Also All Over The Place, Since Peter The Great Wanted To Stress Russia’s Sea Power. I Especially Like The Trident On Top Of An Obelisk -- What A Great Egyptian/greek Mix Up!

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