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I Pressed Play And Started Up Chiron's Favorite--the All-time Greatest Hits Of Dean Martin. Suddenly The Air Was Filled With Violins And A Bunch Of Guys Moaning In Italian. The Demon Pigeons Went Nuts. They Started Flying In Circles, Running Into Each Other Like They Wanted To Bash Their Own Brains Out.

-Rick Riordan

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I Pressed Play And

Rick Riordan

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I Pressed Play And Started Up Chiron's Favorite--the All-time Greatest Hits Of Dean Martin. Suddenly The Air Was Filled With Violins And A Bunch Of Guys Moaning In Italian. The Demon Pigeons Went Nuts. They Started Flying In Circles, Running Into Each Other Like They Wanted To Bash Their Own Brains Out.

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I Keep Forgetting About Your Amnesia. Heh. Forgetting About Amnesia. That's Funny.

Annabeth:my Fatal Flaw. That's What The Sirens Showed Me. My Fatal Flaw Is Hubris. Percy: The Brown Stuff They Spread On Veggie Sandwiches? Annabeth:no, Seaweed Brain. That's Hummus. Hubris Is Worse. Percy: What Could Be Worse Than Hummus? Annabeth: Hubris Means Deadly Pride, Percy. Thinking You Can Do Things Better Than Anyone Else... Even The Gods.

I Don't Care What Your Nose Says! The Last Time You Smelled Half-blood, It Turned Out To Be A Meatloaf Sandwich!" "meatloaf Sandwiches Are Good! But This Is A Half-blood Scent, I Swear. They Are On Board!" "bah, Your Brain Isn't On Board!

You Titans Are About As Bright As My Gym Socks.

It's Not Bad Enough I Am Exiled? It's Not Bad Enough You Take Away The Few Good Heroes I'm Allowed To Meet? You Think It's Funny To Send Me This This ― This Charbroiled Runt Of A Boy To Ruin My Tranquility? This Is Not Funny! Take Him Back!

Just My Luck, On Top Of Everything Else I Had To Take Baboon Medicine.

I Could Hear Hopefulness In Her Voice, But Also Doubt. She Was Waiting For Me To Admit The Obvious: I'd Forgotten. I Was Toast. I Was Boyfriend Roadkill. Just Because I Forgot, You Shouldn't Take That As A Sign I Didn't Care About Annabeth. Seriously, The Last Month With Her Had Been Awesome. I Was The Luckiest Demigod Ever. But A Special Dinner... When Had I Mentioned That? Maybe I'd Said It After Annabeth Kissed Me, Which Had Sort Of Sent Me Into A Fog. Maybe A Greek Gos Had Disguised Himself As Me As And Made Her That Promise As A Prank. Or Maybe I Was Just A Rotten Boyfriend.

So Few People Did Good In Their Lives. It Was Depressing.

Bast Crouched Down And Began Making Weird Chittering Noises. Uh-oh. She Was Imitating Birds. I'd Seen Enough Cats Do This When They Were Stalking. Suddenly My Own Obituary Flashed In My Head: Carter Kane, 14, Tragically Died In Paris Wen He Was Eaten By His Sister's Cat, Muffin.

Sadie," He Said Forlornly, "when You Become A Parent, You May Understand This. One Of My Hardest Jobs As A Father, One Of My Greatest Duties, Was To Realize That My Own Dreams, My Own Goals And Wishes, Are Secondary To My Children's.

Artemis Must Be Present At The Solstice," Zoe Said. "she Has Been The Most Vocal On The Council, Arguing For Taking Action Against Kronos's Minions. If She Is Not There, The Gods Will Decide Nothing. We Will Lose Another Year Of War Preparations." Are You Sugesting The Gods Have Trouble Acting Together, Young Lady?" Dionysis Asked. Yes, Lord Dionysis." Mr.d Nodded. "just Checking. Your Right, Of Course. Carry On.

Percy!” He Bellowed. He Dropped His Broom And Ran At Me. If You’ve Never Been Charged By An Enthusiastic Cyclops Wearing A Flowered Apron And Rubber Cleaning Gloves, I’m Telling You, It’ll Wake You Up Quick.

A Person's Shadow Stood For His Legacy, His Impact On The World. Some People Cast Hardly Any Shadow At All. Some Cast Long, Deep Shadows That Endured For Centuries.

We'de Have To Get In And Get Out The Hard Way; And If We Made A Mistake, There Was No Telling What Sort Of Curse We'de Unleash: Monster Guardians, Plagues, Fires, Exploding Donkeys(don't Laugh; They're Bad News).

So I Saved Your Life, And You Repaid Me By Raising Kronos. That's Fair.

Why Does It Have To Be So Hard? Why Can't It Be A Happily-ever-after Ride-into-the-sunset Feeling All The Time?

I, Horus, Son Of Osiris, Claim The Throne Of The Heavens As My Birthright!" He Shouted."what Was Once Mine Shall Be Mine Again.is There Anyone Who Would Challenge Me?" The Gods Flickered And Glowed. A Few Scowled. One Muttered Something That Sounded Like "cheese", Although That Could've Been My Imagination.

She Wanted Me To Betray You Guys, And I Was Like, 'pfft, Right, I'm Gonna Listen To A Face In The Potty Sludge'.

True, You're The Weakest Of Us All, But You're Still One Of The Five, And There Is Power In Collecting The Complete Set." He Paused, Then Grinned. "the Complete Set! That's Funny! Now Let's Consume Your Energy And Entomb Your Soul, Shall We?

All Invincible And Stuff

Why Won't You Drown?" He Wailed, Pummeling Me With His Fists. "i'm Poseidon's Son," I Said. "curse That Upstart! I Was Here First!

Oh You Two Look Delicious," Bast Said, Licking Her Lips. "no, No-er, I Mean Wonderful. Now, Off You Go!

We’ve All Got Weaknesses. Me, For Instance. I’m Tragically Funny And Good-looking.

Tyson, Frank Is A Descendant Of Poseidon." "brother!" Tyson Crushed Frank In A Hug. Percy Stifled A Laugh. "actually He's More Like A Great-great-...oh, Never Mind. Yeah, He's Your Brother." "thanks." Frank Mumbled Through A Mouthful Of Flannel.

Twelve Minutes. I Can Give You That.

Holy Mother!" "hmph. More Like Holy Father. I'd Think You'd Know The Difference." -hephaetus

There's No Point In Defending Camp If You Guys Die. All Our Friends Are Here.

I'm Stupid," Leo Mumbled. "pi Would Expand Outward, Because It's Infinite." He Reversed The Order Of The Numbers, Starting In The Center And Working Toward The Edge. When He Aligned The Last Ring, Something Inside The Sphere Clicked. The Door Swung Open. Leo Beamed At His Friends. "that, Good People, Is How We Do Things In Leo World. Come On In!" "i Hate Leo World," Frank Muttered. Hazel Laughed.

Destroy It?' Leo Was Appalled. 'you've Got A Life-size Bronze Dragon, And You Want To Destroy It?' 'it Breathes Fire,' Nyssa Explained. 'it's Deadly And Out Of Control.' 'but It's A Dragon!

Teach You To Try Marrying Me, You Idiot!

Suspecting And Knowing Are Not The Same.

Great Victory Requires Great Risk. -hera

Everybody Loves To Show Up At The Party Once All The Hard Work Is Done.

They Had A Silent Staring Contest, But Percy Didn’t Back Down. When He And Annabeth Started Dating, His Mother Had Drummed It Into His Head: It’s Good Manners To Walk Your Date To The Door. If That Was True, It Had To Be Good Manners To Walk Her To The Start Of Her Epic Solo Death Quest.

Just Curious How Much I'm Going For These Days," Leo Said. "i Mean, I Can Understand Not Being As Pricey As Percy Or Jason, Maybe...but Am I Worth, Like, Two Franks, Or Three Franks?

Oh, Hazel Is Awesome," Don Said. "she's So Nice! All The Other Campers Are Like 'go Away Don.' But She's Like 'please Go Away, Don.' I Love Her!

If You'd Sat There Any Longer,' Annabeth Said, 'you Would Have Spontaneously Combusted. I Hope The Conversation Was Worth It?

I Survive All Those Battles," She Growled, "and I Get Defeated By A Stupid Chunk Of Rock!

Caesar Broke The Law When He Crossed The Rubicon," Frank Said. "great Leaders Have To Think Out Side The Box Sometimes.

Percy Looked At His Friends. “i’m Getting Tired Of This Guy’s Shirt.

If I'm Going To Survive, It Won't Be Because I Have A Lion-skin Cloak. I'm Not Hercules.

Um ,sorry. I Cant Read The Last Line." "fish. Have You Stolen Any Fish From The Holy Lakes?" "i Lived In Kansas..so ..no

Christmas In The Underworld Was Not My Idea. If I'd Known What Was Coming, I Would've Called In Sick. I Could've Avoided An Army Of Demons, A Fight With A Titan, And A Trick That Almost Got My Friends And Me Cast Into Eternal Darkness. But No, I Had To Take My Stupid English Exam.

I'm The Son Of Jupiter, I'm A Child Of Rome, Consul To Demigods, Praetor Of The First Legion. I Slew The Trojan Sea Monster, I Toppled The Black Throne Of Kronos, And Destroyed Titan Krios With My Own Hand. And Now I'm Going To Destroy You Porphyrion, And Feed You To Your Own Wolves." "wow, Dude," Leo Muttered, "you Been Eating Red Meat?

Look, I Didn't Want To Be A Half-blood.

Writing Is Like A Sport. If You Don't Practice, You Don't Get Any Better.

I Can See The Stars Again M'lady.

Hazel!” He Yelled. “that Box! Open It!” She Hesitated, Then Saw The Box He Meant. Te Label Read Warning. Do Not Open. “open It!” Leo Yelled Again.

You'd Think He'd Ran Out Off Rocks," I Muttered

Kronos Would Be 10 Times More Powerful. His Very Presence Would Incinerate You. And Once He Achieves This He Will Empower The Other Titans. They Are Weak, Compared To What They Soon Will Become, Unless You Can Stop Them, The World Will Fall, The Gods Will Die, And I Will Never Achieve A Perfect Score On This Stupid Machine.

What Colors Are The Eyes Of Anubis?" "brown...duh.

It Will Make You Powerful. But It Will Also Make You Weak. Your Prowess In Combat Will Be Beyond Any Mortal's, But Your Weaknesses, Your Failings Will Increase As Well." You Mean I'll Have A Bad Heel?" I Said. "couldn't I Just, Like, Wear Something Besides Sandals? No Offense.

All Right Cupcakes Listen Up!

Now, As Far As I Knew, He (luke) Was Still Sailing Around On His Demon-infested Cruise Ship While The Chopped-up Lord Kronos Re-formed, Bit By Bit, In A Golden Sarcophagus, Biding His Time Until He Had Enough Power To Challenge The Olympian Gods. In Demigod-speak, We Call This A “problem.” - Percy, 'the Battle Of The Labyrinth

Look," Percy Continued, "i Know I'm New Here. I Know You Guys Don't Like To Mention The Massacre In The Nineteen Eighties-" "he Mentioned It!" One Of The Ghosts Whimpered.

Armed With My Sword And Wand, I Was All Set For A Stroll Through The Swamp To Look For A Hungry Monster. Oh, Joy!

Tantalus Made A Wild Grab, But The Marshmallow Committed Suicide, Diving Into The Flames.

Bad Cyclops Lady!" He Bellowed. "general Tyson Says Go Away!

I Don’t Define Myself By The Boys Who May Or May Not Like Me.

We Only Came Close To Dying Six Or Seven Times, Which I Thought Was Pretty Good. Once, I Lost My Grip And Found Myself Dangling By One Hand From A Ledge Fifty Feet Above The Rocky Surf. But I Found Another Handhold And Kept Climbing. A Minute Later Annabeth Hit A Slippery Patch Of Moss And Her Foot Slipped. Fortunately, She Found Something Else To Put It Against. Unfortunately, That Something Was My Face. "sorry," She Murrmured. "s'okay," I Grunted, Though I'd Never Really Wanted To Know What Annabeth's Sneaker Tasted Like.

Whasthat!" "um ... Those Are The Toilets.

Kids, If Anything, Are Harder To Write For Because They Are A More Discerning Audience. They Will Not Stay With You If You Go Off On A Tangent Or If You Give Them Extraneous Information That Doesn't Serve The Story. You Really Have To Tell A Tight Story. You Have To Give Them Humor And Suspense And Believable Characters. All Those Things That Adults Want Too, But You Have To Be Really On Your Game When You're Writing For Kids.

This Is Graceland. Home Of The Most Famous Musician In The World.” “michael Jackson Lived Here?” “no, Dummy,” Carter Said. “elvis Presley.

I Didn't Understand How. But The Toilets Had Responded To Me. I Had Become One With The Plumbing.

Heroes Like You Always Have A Weak Spot. We Just Have To Find It, And Then We Can Kill You. Won't That Be Lovely? Have A Cheese 'n' Wiener!

He Was Beautiful The Way An Angel Is Beautiful - Timeless, Perfect, Remote.

At Least He Had Annabeth. They Would Find A Way Out Of Tartarus. They Had To. He Didn't Think Much Of Fates And Prophecies, But He Did Believe In One Thing: Annabeth And He Were Supposed To Be Together. They Hadn't Survived So Much Just To Get Killed Now.

No Matter How Many Times Percy Killed Them And Watched Them Crumble To Powder, They Just Kept Re-forming Like Large Evil Dust Bunnies.

Coach Hedge Yelled,“thar She Blows! Kansas, Ahoy!” “holy Hephaestus,” Leo Muttered. “he Really Needs To Work On His Shipspeak.

How Does Galdoila Know About The Reward?" I Asked. "he Reads The Signs," Grover Said. "duh." "of Course," I Said. "silly Me.

If You've Seen A Crab's Mouth, All Foamy And Gross With Whiskers And Snapping Bits, You Can Imagine This One Didn't Look Any Better Blown Up To Billboard Size.

A General Never Shows Despair. He Instills Confidence In His Troops. He Leads Them Forward, Even Into The Mouth Of Death.

Apollo?” I Guessed… He Put A Finger To His Lips. “i’m Incognito. Call Me Fred.” A God Named Fred?

Mr. D," Grover Asked Timidly, "if You're Not Going To Eat It, Could I Have Your Diet Coke Can?

When I Was Alive, I Mean The First Time, Mussolini Was In Charge. We Were At War.” “mussolini?” Leo Frowned. “wasn’t He Like Bffs With Hitler?

The Truth Is Harsh." Anubis Said. "spirits Come To The Hall Of Judgement All The Time, And They Cannot Let Go Of Their Lies. They Deny Their Faults, Their True Feelings, Their Mistakes.......right Up Until Ammit Devours Their Souls For Eternity. It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

Turkey, Australia, And Japan Are Three Of My Top Destinations.

Reyna Sent Me To Get Percy," Frank Said. "did Octavian Accept You?" "yeah," Percy Said. "he Slaughtered My Panda.

Curled Up At The Base Of The Scales, Fast Asleep, Was The Oddest Monster I'd Seen Yet. It Had The Head Of Crocodile With A Lion's Mane. The Front Half Of Its Body Was A Lion, But The Back End Was Sleek, Brown, And Fat - A Hippo, I Decided. The Odd Bit Was, The Animal Was Tiny - I Mean, No Larger Than An Average Poodle, Which I Suppose Made Him A Hippodoodle.

Percy Is The Most Powerful Demigod I've Ever Met. No Offense To You Guys But It's True.

If I Couldn't Trust Her, I Couldn't Trust Anyone.

For What It’s Worth: Trust Your Feelings. I Can’t Promise That You’ll Never Get Hurt Again, But I Can Promise You The Risk Is Worth It.

Hold Up," Leo Said. "you Guys Lost A Dragon? A Real Full Size Dragon?

One The Next Corner Stood A Cinder Block Restaurant With A Hand-painted Sign That Read Chicken & Waffles. There Was A Queue Of Twenty People Outside. “you Americans Have The Strangest Taste. What Planet Is This?

Grover Wore His Fake Feet And His Pants To Pass As Human. He Wore A Green Rasta-style Cap, Because When It Rained His Curly Hair Flattened And You Could Just See The Tips Of His Horns. His Bright Orange Backpack Was Full Of Scrap Metal And Apples To Snack On. In His Pocket Was A Set Of Reed Pipes His Daddy Goat Had Carved For Him, Even Though He Only Knew Two Songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 12 And Hilary Duff's "so Yesterday," Both Of Which Sounded Pretty Bad On Reed Pipes.

Monsters Don't Die. They Just Dissipate Into Smoke And Dust, Which Saves Heroes A Lot Of Trouble Cleaning Up After A Fight.

He [death] Pulled A Pure-black Ipad From Thin Air. Death Tapped The Screen A Few Times And All Frank Could Think Was: Please Don't Let There Be An App For Reading Souls

Then There Was Nico Di Angelo. Dang, That Kid Gave Leo The Freaky-deakies. He Sat Back In His Leather Aviator Jacket, His Black T-shirt And Jeans, That Wicked Silver Skull Ring On His Finger, And The Stygian Sword At His Side. His Tufts Of Black Hair Struck Up In Curls Like Baby Bat Wings. His Eyes Were Sad And Kind Of Empty, As If He’d Stared Into The Depths Of Tartarus—which He Had.

Yes I Remember My Sixteenth." Vitellius Said "wonderful Omen! Happily Chicken In My Underpants." "excuse Me.

Stacy Schiff Is That Rare Combination: A First-rate Historian And A Brilliant Storyteller. Using A Wide Range Of Sources, She Spins Straw Into Gold, Conjuring The World Of Ptolemaic Egypt In Full Vibrant Color, And Returning The Voice Of One Of The Most Powerful, Fascinating, And Maligned Women In History. Cleopatra Is Impossible To Put Down.

I Looked At Thalia. "you're Afraid Of Heights." Now That We Were Safely Down The Mountain, Her Eyes Had Their Usual Angry Look. "don't Be Stupid." That Explains Why You Freaked Out On Apollo's Bus. Why You Didn't Want To Talk About It." She Took A Deep Breath. Then She Brushed The Pine Needles Out Of Her Hair. "if You Tell Anyone, I Swear—" No, No," I Said. "that's Cool. It's Just… The Daughter Of Zeus, The Lord Of The Sky, Afraid Of Heights?

Leo Grabbed The Neasrest Thing He Could Find- A Porta-potty Seat- And Threw It At The Face. Leve Me Alone!

Sometimes Things Don't End Okay.

Annabeth Recognized Something Else In Her Face, Too - In The Hard Set Of Her Mouth And The Deliberate Way She Raised Her Chin Like She Was Ready To Accept Any Challenge. Reyna Was Forcing A Look Of Courage, While Holding Back A Mixture Of Hopefulness And Worry And Fear That She Couldn't Show In Public. Annabeth Knew That Expression. She Saw It Every Time She Looked In A Mirror.

Percy?" Annabeth Gripped His Arm. "oh, Bad," He Muttered. "bad. Bad." He Looked Across The Table At Frank And Hazel. "you Guys Remember Polybotes?" "the Giant Who Invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel Said. "the Anti-poseidon You Whacked In The Head With A Terminus Statue. Yes, I Think I Remember

Annabeth: Hey, Seaweed Brain. Percy: Will You Stop Calling Me That? Annabeth: You Know You Love It.

Fairness Does Not Mean Everyone Gets The Same. Fairness Means Everyone Gets What They Need.

Besides, You're A Cat. It's Your Nature To Think You're The Center Of The Universe.

Center Of The Universe

Ptah? Son Of Ptooey? What Is He God Of Spitting? I Asked

How Old Is She Now?" He Asked. "hard To Say. She Was A Tree For A While. Now She's Immortal.

Her Hair Is Smoldering. Her Face Was Smudged With Soot. She Had A Cut On Her Arms, Her Dress Was Torn, And She Was Missing A Boot. Beautiful.

Fish Gathered To Look At Us - A School Of Baracudas, Some Curious Marines. Scram! I Told Them. They Swam Off, But I Could Tell They Went Reluctantly. I Swear I Understood Their Intencions. They Were About To Star Rumors Flighing Around The Sea About The Son Of Poseidon And Some Girl At The Bottom Of Siren Bay.

I May Be Biased, But I Think Jackals Are Cute And Cuddly, Even If They Were Known For Digging Up Graves In Ancient Egypt.

I Tried To Imagine How Things Could Get Much Worse. The Gods Were In The Midwest Fighting A Huge Monster That Had Almost Defeated Them Once Before. Poseidon Was Under Siege And Losing A War Against The Sea Titan Oceanus. Kronos Was Still Out There Somewhere. Olympus Was Virtually Undefended. The Demigods Of Camp Half-blood Were On Our Own With A Spy In Our Midst. Oh, And According To The Ancient Prophecy, I Was Going To Die When I Turned Sixteen—which Happened To Be In Five Days, The Exact Same Time Typhon Was Supposed To Hit New York. Almost Forgot That.

You'd Think Getting Chopped Into A Million Pieces And Cast Into The Darkest Part Of The Underworld Would Give Him A Subtle Clue That Nobody Wanted Him Around.

Lightning Thief Was Good But The Sea Of Monsters Is Better And Has More Action!

I Was Glad To Be With Her, But It Also Kind Of Hurt, And It Hurt When I Wasn't With Her, Too.

I Remembered What She'd Told Me In New York, About Building Something Permanent, And I Thought - Just Maybe - We Were Off To A Good Start.

Building Something

Brother Dear,” I Said, “did Your Soul Leave Your Body While Amos Was Talking, Or Did You Actually Hear Him? Egyptian Gods Real. Red Lord Bad. Red Lord’s Birthday: Very Soon, Very Bad. House Of Life: Fussy Magicians Who Hate Our Family Because Dad Was A Bit Of A Rebel, Whom You Could Take A Lesson From. Which Leaves Us—just Us—with Dad Missing, An Evil God About To Destroy The World, And An Uncle Who Just Jumped Off The Building—and I Can’t Actually Blame Him.” I Took A Breath. [yes, Carter, I Do Have To Breathe Occasionally.]

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

I Hadn't Seen My Dad Get Violent Since The Great Spatula Incident, And I Wasn't Anxious To See A Repeat Of That.

If You Don't Like It You Can Kiss My Quiver

Sometimes It Is Better To Have Someone You Mistrust Close To You, So That You Can Keep An Eye On Him - Chiron

Indeed, "hera Said. ―porphyrion, The Strongest Of His Kind. Gaea Needed A Great Deal Of Power To Raise Him Again —my Power. For Weeks I‘ve Grown Weaker As My Essence Was Used To Grow Him A New Form." ―so You‘re Like A Heat Lamp,"leo Guessed. ―or Fertilizer.

His Lion And Hippo Legs Twitched. I Wondered If Netherworld Monsters Dreamed Of Chasing Rabbits.

What’s The Point Of Being A Magician If You Can’t Wave Your Wand And Make The People You Care About Feel Better?

Once He'd Even Reprogrammed The Electronic Billboards In Time Square To Read: All Da Ladies Luv Leo... Accidentally, Of Course.

Dude! Said A Party Pony As He Unloaded His Gear. Did You See That Bear Guy? He Was All Like: 'whoa, I Have An Arrow In My Mouth!

Are You Kidding?" She Looked At Me As If I'd Just Dropped From The Moon. Her Cheeks Were Bright Red. "what's The Problem Now?" I Demanded. "me, Go With You To The...the 'thrill Ride Of Love'? How Embarrassing Is That? What If Somebody Saw Me?" "who's Going To See You?" But My Face Was Burning Now, Too. Leave It To A Girl To Make Everything Complicated. "fine," I Told Her. "i'll Do It Myself." But When I Started Down The Side Of The Pool, She Followed Me, Muttering About How Boys Always Messed Things Up.

Mussolini?” Leo Frowned. “wasn’t He Like Bffs With Hitler?

I Have More Ideas Than I'll Ever Be Able To Write In Five Lifetimes.

It's Funny How Humans Can Wrap Their Mind Around Things And Fit Them Into Their Version Of Reality.

I've Been Reading Greek Mythology Since I Was A Kid. I Also Taught It When I Was A Sixth Grade Teacher, So I Knew A Lot Of Mythological Monsters Already. Sometimes I Still Use Books And Web Sites To Research, Though. Every Time I Research Greek Mythology, I Learn Something New!

Tell Me When It's Over " Thalia Said. Her Eyes Were Shut Tight. The Statue Was Holding On To Us So We Couldn't Fall But Still Thalia Clutched His Arm Like It Was The Most Important Thing In The World. "everything's Fine " I Promised. "are... Are We Very High " I Looked Down. Below Us A Range Of Snowy Mountains Zipped By. I Stretched Out My Foot And Kicked Snow Off One Of The Peaks. "nah " I Said. "not That High.

That Sounded About As Likely As Apophis And Ra Becoming Facebook Buddies, But I Decided Not To Say Anything.

Question (from A Reader) : Will The Wise Goddess Athena Overthrow Zeus And Become The Ruler Of Olympus? Athena's Answer : What An Interesting Idea . . . No, Just Kidding, Dad. Put Away The Lightning Bolt.

Afterward, I Had The Last Laugh. I Made An Air Bubble At The Bottom Of The Lake. Our Friends Kept Waiting For Us To Come Up, But Hey-when You Are The Son Of Poseidon, You Don't Have To Hurry. And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

They Send A Person Who Can Never Stay," She Whispered. "who Can Never Accept My Offer Of Companionship For More Than A Little While. They Send Me A Hero I Can't Help ... Just The Sort Of Person I Can't Help Falling In Love With." ... As I Sailed Into The Lake I Realized The Fates Really Were Cruel. They Sent Calypso Someone She Couldn't Help But Love. But It Worked Both Ways. For The Rest Of My Life I Would Be Thinking About Her. She Would Always Be My Biggest What If.

Falling In Love

As We Rose Over The Rooftops I Caught My Breath-well, If You Can Catch Your Breath Underwater.

I Stared At Him (dionysus). "you're...you're Married? But I Thought You Got In Trouble For Chasing A Wood Nymph-

Only The Fire Of Life Can Melt The Chains Of Death.

At The Rear Of The Bus, The Driver Wrenched A Big Chunk Of Smoking Metal Out Of The Engine Compartment. The Bus Shuddered, And The Engine Roared Back To Life. The Passengers Cheered. Darn Right!" Yelled The Driver. He Slapped The Bus With His Hat. "everybody Get Back On Board!

Kids Are Baby Goats. They're Cute And They Have Redeeming Social Value. You Are Definitely Not Kids.

How Flattering,” I Grumbled. “my Soul Glows.

She Looked At Me, Like She Was Drinking In The Fact That I Was Still Here. And I Realized I Was Doing The Same Thing. The World Was Collapsing, And The Only Thing That Really Mattered To Me Was That She Was Alive.

The Wand Ricocheted Through The Swarm, Thumping Six, Seven, Eight Of The Little Monsters Before Returning To Carter’s Hand. “not Bad,” I Said. “keep It Up!

Hey!" I Screamed, Waving The Jacket, Running To One Side Of The Monster. "hey, Stupid! Ground Beef!

What Are You?” She Demanded. “my Dad? Osiris? Are You Even Alive?” Dad Looked At Anubis. “what Did I Tell You About Her? Fiercer Than Ammit, I Said.” “you Didn’t Need To Tell Me That.” Anubis’s Face Was Grave. “i’ve Learned To Fear That Sharp Tongue.” Sadie Looked Outraged. “excuse Me?

Just Remember If We Get Caught, You're Deaf And I Don't Speak English.

He Slung Off His Backpack. He'd Managed To Grab A Lot Of Supplies At The Napa Bargain Mart: A Portable Gps, Duct Tape, Lighter, Superglue, Water Bottle, Camping Roll, A Comfy Panda Pillow Pet (as Seen On Tv), And A Swiss Army Knife—pretty Much Every Tool A Modern Demigod Could Want.

It Was If The City Knew About Percy's Dream Of Gaea. It Knew That The Earth Goddess Intended On Razing All Human Civilization, And This City, Which Had Stood For Thousands If Years, Was Saying Back At Her: You Wanna Dissolve This City, Dirt Face? Give It A Shot. In Other Words, It Was The Coach Hedge Of Mortal Cities- Only Taller.

You Have To Rise Above The Squabbling And Chaos, And Keep Believing. You Have To Always Keep Your Goals In Mind.” -hera, Goddess Of Marriage

I Have Some Extra Costumes-" "no!" Ephialtes Snapped, And For Once Percy Was In Agreement.

Surfing?” He Asked. She Laughed, And The Sound Sent A Shock Wave Through The Water. The Wailing Faded To Background Noise. Annabeth Wondered If Anyone Had Ever Laughed In Tartarus Before—just A Pure, Simple Laugh Of Pleasure. She Doubted It.

Background Noise

Number Eight, The Silver One, Belongs To Artemis. She Vowed To Be A Maiden Forever. So Of Course, No Kids. The Cabin Is, You Know, Honorary. If She Didn't Have One, She'd Be Mad.

I Guessed His Name Was Face Of Horror. I Wondered How Long It Had Taken His Mom To Think Of That. Bob? No. Sam? No. How About Face Of Horror?

Amy, Dan, And Nellie Were Sitting At A Table In A Conference Room, Examining Reproductions Of Franklin Documents-some So Rare, The Librarians Told Her, The Only Copies Existed In Paris. "yeah, Here's A Rare Grocery List," Dan Muttered. "wow.

Your Mom Is A Rainbow Goddess?" "you Got A Problem With That?" "no, No. Rainbows. Very Macho.

Survive First. Figure Out Crayon Drawing Of Destiny Later.

You're Alive!" Percy Said To The Others. "the Giants Said You Were Captured. What Happened?" Leo Shrugged. "oh, Just Another Brilliant Plan By Leo Valdez. You'd Be Amazed What You Can Do With An Archimedes Sphere, A Girl Who Can Sense Stuff Underground, And A Weasel." "i Was The Weasel," Frank Said Glumly.

The Minotaur Unstrapped His Axe And Swung It Around. It Was Beautiful In A Harsh I’m~going~togut~you~like~a~fish Kind Of Way. Each Of Its Twin Blades Was Shaped Like An Omega: Ω—the Last Letter Of The Greek Alphabet. Maybe That Was Because The Axe Would Be The Last Thing His Victims Ever Saw

Nothing Lasts Forever, Not Even The Best Machines. And Everything Can Be Reused. - Hephaestus

Whathat!" Tyson Gasped. "those Are The Stables For The Pegasi," I Replied, "you Know, Winged Horses?" "whasthat!" "um... Those Are The Toilets.

Naturally, Coach Hedge Went Ballistic; But Percy Found It Hard To Take The Satyr Seriously Since He Was Barely Five Feet Tall. "never In My Life!" Coach Bellowed, Waving His Bat And Knocking Over A Plate Of Apples. "against The Rules! Irresponsible!" "coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll—i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

A Legacy That Powerful Does Not Disappear. Next To The Egyptians, The Greeks And Romans Were Babies. Our Modern Nations Like Great Britain And America? Blinks Of An Eye...the Very Oldest Root Of Civilization, At Least Of Western Civilization, Is Egypt. Look At The Pyramid On The Dollar Bill. Look At The Washington Monument—the World’s Largest Egyptian Obelisk. Egypt Is Still.......very Much Alive.

Like Water Leaking Through A Dam," Said Piper. "yeah," Smiled Percy. "we've Got A Dam Hole." "what?" Piper Asked. "nothing," He Said. "inside Joke.

I Am Committed To Writing Appropriate Books For The Middle Grades. This Means No Bad Language, No Gratuitous Or Explicit Violence, And No Sexual Content Beyond What You Might Find In A Pg-rated Movie – Expressions Of Who Likes Whom, Holding Hands, And Perhaps The Occasional Kiss. The Idea That We Should Treat Sexual Orientation Itself As An Adults-only Topic, However, Is Absurd. Non-heterosexual Children Exist. To Pretend They Do Not, To Fail To Recognize That They Have Needs For Support And Validation Like Any Child, Would Be Bad Teaching, Bad Writing, And Bad Citizenship.

And Togheter, Holding Hands, He And Annabeth Fell Into The Endless Darkness

It Blew My Mind That This Stuff Had Survived For Two Thousand, Three Thousand Years.

I Can See Hope Inside It." Rachel Ran Her Fingers Over The Ceramic Designs. "so Fragile.

Gabe Scratched His Double Chin. "maybe If You Hurry With The Seven-layer Dip...and Maybe If The Kid Apologizes For Interrupting My Poker Game." Maybe If I Kick You In Your Soft Spot, I Thought. And Make You Sing Soprano For A Week.

Lord Bacchus, Do You Remember Me? I Helped You With That Missing Leopard In Sonoma." Bacchus Scratched His Stubbly Chin. "ah... Yes. John Green." "jason Grace." "whatever," The God Said.

Your Head Is Full Of Kelp.

Must’ve Been Hard On Your Mom,” Frank Said. “i Guess We’ll Do Anything For Someone We Love.” Hazel Squeezed His Hand Appreciatively. Nico Stared At The Cobblestones. “yeah,” He Said Bitterly. “i Guess We Will.

You’re Probably Thinking: Wait, You Just Charged In Without A Plan? But Annabeth And I Had Been Fighting Together For Years. We Knew Each Other’s Abilities. We Could Anticipate Each Other’s Moves. I Might Have Felt Awkward And Nervous About Being Her Boyfriend, But Fighting With Her? That Came Naturally. Hmm…that Sounded Wrong. Oh, Well.

I Can't Get Through The Year Without Getting Kicked Out Or Blowing Something Up.

Through The Years

Do You Always Try To Kill People When They Blow Their Nose?

Some Risks Are Worth Taking, Even If It Means Losing A Life.

Aretmis Gripped Her Bow. “let Us Pray I Am Wrong.” Can Goddesses Pray?

Gods And Goddesses

She Stared At Me. "fly, ;ole, In An Airplane, Which You Were Warned Never To Do Lest Zeus Strike You Out Of The Sky, And Carrying A Weapon That Has More Destructive Power Than A Nuclear Bomb?" "yeah," I Said. "pretty Much Exactly Like That.

My Stomach Churned. The Monster Had Mimicked Thalia Perfectly. If I'd Heard That Voice In The Dark, Calling For Help, I Would've Run Straight Toward It.

I Touched The Combination Lock. I Concentrated So Hard I Felt Like I Was Dead-lifting Five Hundred Pounds. My Pulse Quickening. A Line Of Sweat Trickled Down My Nose. Finally I Felt Gears Turning. Metal Groaned, Tumblers Clicked, And The Bolts Popped Back. Carefully Avoiding The Handle, I Pried Open The Door With My Fingertips And Extracted An Unbroken Vial Of Green Liquid. Hal Exhaled. Thalia Kissed Me On The Cheek, Which She Probably Shouldn't Haven't Done While I Was Holding A Tube Of Deadly Poison. "you Are So Good," She Said. Did That Make The Risk Worth? Yeah, Pretty Much.

My Brother Broke Into A Toothy Grin. "yay! Your Brain Works!

Her Freckles Were Orange, As If Somebody Had Spray-painted Her Face With Liquid Cheetos.

It Wasn’t Easy Looking Dignified Wearing A Bed Sheet And A Purple Cape.

You Dropped This," He Said, Totally Poker-faced.

Her Secret Fear? Maybe She Didn't Tried Hard Enough.

Leo: "so...giants Who Can Throw Mountains. Friendly Wolves That Will Eat Us If We Show Weakness. Evil Espresso Drinks. Gotcha. Maybe This Isn't The Best Time To Bring Up My Psycho Babysitter." Piper: "is That Another Joke?

Ever Hold Your Hand Over A Torch (sorry, A Flashlight For You Americans).

She Led Him Past The Engine Room, Which Looked Like A Very Dangerous, Mechanized Jungle Gym, With Pipes And Pistons And Tubes Jutting From A Central Bronze Sphere. Cables Resembling Giant Metal Noodles Snaked Across The Floor And Ran Up The Walls. “how Does That Thing Even Work?” Percy Asked. “no Idea,” Annabeth Said. “and I’m The Only One Besides Leo Who Can Operate It.” “that’s Reassuring.” “it Should Be Fine. It’s Only Threatened To Blow Up Once.” “you’re Kidding, I Hope.” She Smiled. “come On.

People Can Be Creul,people Can Be Mean, What They Say About Us Is Not True It Makes It There Opinion, And It Doesnt Mean Thats How The Rest Of The World See's It.

That’s Us,” He Said. “those Five Nuts Right There.” Which One Is Me?” I Asked. The Little Deformed One,” Zoe Suggested. Oh, Shut Up.

Which Reminded Me...i Still Owed The Gods A Debt. "you're A Genius," I (percy) Told Annabeth.

Annabeth Came Up To Me. She Was Dressed In Black Camouflage With Her Celestial Bronze Knife Strapped To Her Arm And Her Laptop Bag Slung Over Her Shoulder—ready For Stabbing Or Surfing The Internet, Whichever Came First.

Doubtful, But It Did Work... "annabeth?" Percy Said Again. "you're Planning Something. You've Got That I'm-planning-something Look." "i Don't Have An I'm-planning-something Look." "yeah, You Totally Do. Your Eyebrows Knit And Your Lips Press Together And ---" "do You Have A Pen?" She Asked Him. "you're Kidding, Right?" He Brought Out Riptide. "yes, But Can You Actually Write With It?" "i--i Don't Know," He Admitted. "never Tried.

My Goal In The Classroom Was Always To Make Sure They Were Having So Much Fun That They Didn't Realize They Were Learning.

Percy Pushed On His Side Furiously And The Crack Closed. His Eyes Blazed With Anger. She Hoped He Wasn’t Mad At Her, But If He Was She Couldn’t Blame Him. If It Keeps Him Going, She Thought, Then Let Him Be Angry.

The Most Dangerous Flaws Are Those Which Are Good In Moderation," She Said. "evil Is Easy To Fight. Lack Of Wisdom… That Is Very Hard Indeed.

All I Could Think To Say Was, "the Lakers Are My Home Team!

It’s Hard To Look In Charge When You’re Hunched Over Like Quasimodo.

That's Me. Ancient History." [poseidon To Paul]

Ancient History

There Are Parties And Then There Are Huge Major Blowout Parties. And Then There Are Olympian Parties. If You Ever Get A Choice Go For The Olympian.

You Can Do This" I Murmured. "you Are My Brother. I Love You. All The Embarrassing Bits, All The Annoying Bits, Which I Imagine Is Most Of You--a Thousand Zias Might Run Away From You If They Knew The Truth. But I Won't. I'll Still Be Here.

The Friday Before Winter Break, My Mom Packed Me An Overnight Bag And A Few Deadly Weapons And Took Me To A New Boarding School.

Aphrodite,” [annabeth] Said. “venus?” Hazel Asked In Amazement. “mom,” Piper Said With No Enthusiasm. “girls!” The Goddess Spread Her Arms Like She Wanted A Group Hug. The Three Demigods Did Not Oblige. Hazel Backed Into A Palmetto Tree.

Shut Up, Me" Leo Said Out Loud. "what?" Piper Asked. "nothing," He Said. "long Night. I Think I'm Hallucinating. It's Cool.

You Are One Freaking Awesome Baboon.

I'd Love To Tell You I Had Some Deep Revelation On My Way Down, That I Came To Terms With My Own Mortality, Laughed In The Face Of Death, Et Cetera. The Truth? My Only Thought Was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

I'm Just A Kid, Chiron," I Said Miserably. "what Good Is One Lousy Hero Against Something Like Kronos?" Chiron Managed A Smile. '"what Good Is One Lousy Hero'? Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain Said Something Like That To Me Once, Just Before He Single-handedly Changed The Course Of Your Civil War.

Why Would Roman Gods Want To Date Chinese Canadians?

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