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Naturally, Coach Hedge Went Ballistic; But Percy Found It Hard To Take The Satyr Seriously Since He Was Barely Five Feet Tall. "never In My Life!" Coach Bellowed, Waving His Bat And Knocking Over A Plate Of Apples. "against The Rules! Irresponsible!" "coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll—i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

-Rick Riordan

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Naturally, Coach Hedge Went

Rick Riordan

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Naturally, Coach Hedge Went Ballistic; But Percy Found It Hard To Take The Satyr Seriously Since He Was Barely Five Feet Tall. "never In My Life!" Coach Bellowed, Waving His Bat And Knocking Over A Plate Of Apples. "against The Rules! Irresponsible!" "coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll—i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

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Never Bet Against A Cat.

The First Thing We Pulled Out Was A Lump Of White Gunk. “wax,” Carter Pronounced. “fascinating.

That’s Narmer With The Spoon,” I Guessed. “angry Because The Other Bloke Stole His Breakfast Cereal?

Leo Could Run Pretty Fast When Someone Was Trying To Kill Him. Sadly, He’d Had A Lot Of Practice.

Once He'd Even Reprogrammed The Electronic Billboards In Time Square To Read: All Da Ladies Luv Leo... Accidentally, Of Course.

So," Annabeth Said, "are You Going To Argue About Me Coming Along?" "nah. You'd Just Beat Me Up." Percy Said. She Managed A Laugh, Which Was Good To Hear

If You've Seen A Crab's Mouth, All Foamy And Gross With Whiskers And Snapping Bits, You Can Imagine This One Didn't Look Any Better Blown Up To Billboard Size.

Wow," Thalia Muttered. "apollo Is Hot." "he's The Sun God," I Said. "that's Not What I Meant.

My Goal In The Classroom Was Always To Make Sure They Were Having So Much Fun That They Didn't Realize They Were Learning.

I Held Out The Painting Of The Cat And The Snake. “it’s A Cat And A Snake,” Thoth Said. Thank You, God Of Wisdom. You Placed It For Us To Find, Didn’t You? You’re Trying To Give Us Some Sort Of Clue.” “who, Me?” Just Kill Him, Horus Said. Shut Up, I Said. At Least Kill The Guitar.

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

There's Another Problem," Percy Said. "i'm Not Good With Air Travel. It's Dangerous For A Son Of Neptune." "you'll Have To Risk It...and So Will I," Frank Said. "by The Way, We're Related." Percy Almost Stumbled Off The Roof. "what?

Leo Had Seen Tia Callida In Action; She Liked Knives, Snakes And Putting Babies In Roaring Fires. Yeah, Definitely Let's Unleash Her Rage. Great Idea.

Somewhere Behind Me, Zia Yelled, "hippo!" Which I Thought Was A Little Late. She Stumbled Toward Me Over The Rocking Deck, The Tip Of Her Staff On Fire. Our Ghostly Pal Setne Floated Behind Her, Grinning With Delight. "there Is It!" Setne Shook His Diamond Pink Rings. "told Ya Apophis Would Send A Monster To Kill You." "you're So Smart!" I Shouted. "now, How Do We Stop It?

I Stared At Her. Maybe I Wasn't The Brightest Guy In The World When It Came To Girls, But I Was Pretty Sure Rachel Had Just Dumped Me, Which Was Lame Considering We'd Never Even Been Together.

Keep Climbing,' He Told Himself. 'cheeseburgers,' His Stomach Replied. 'shut Up,' He Thought. 'with Fries,' His Stomach Complained.

Percy: Don't I Get A Kiss For Luck? It's Kind Of A Tradition, Right? Annabeth: Come Back Alive, Seaweed Brain. Then We'll See.

Thalia Blushed. "hi, Lord Apollo." Zeus's Girl, Yes? Makes You My Half Sister. Used To Be A Tree, Didn't You? Glad You're Back. I Hate It When Pretty Girls Turn Into Trees. Man, I Remember One Time—

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

There Is Always A Way Out For Those Clever Enough To Find It.

Percy Looked At His Friends. "i'm Getting Tired Of This Guy's Shirt." "combat Time?" Piper Grabbed Her Horn Of Plenty. "i Hate Wonder Bread," Jason Said. Together, They Charged.

I Remembered The Last Time Annabeth And I Had Parted Ways, When She'd Given Me A Kiss For Luck In Mount St. Helens. This Time, All I Got Was The Hat.

He Looked Like Those Paintings Of Baby Angels - What Do You Call Them, Hubbubs? No Cherubs. That's It. He Looked Like A Cherub Who'd Turned Middle-aged In A Trailer Park.

He Could't Have Survied A Hundred Foot Drop. I'm Sorry Annabeth.

You Said Your Mom Is The Goddess Of Balance," I Reminded Him. "the Minor Gods Deserve Better, Ethan, But Total Destruction Isn't Balance. Kronos Doesn't Build. He Only Destroys.

As For My Brothers,' Zeus Said, 'we Are Thankful -' He Cleared His Throat, Like The Words Were Hard To Get Out - 'erm, Thankful For The Aid Of Hades.' The Lord Of The Dead Nodded. He Had A Smug Look On His Face, But I Figure He'd Earned The Right. He Patted His Son Nico On The Shoulders, And Nico Looked Happier Than I'd Ever Seen Him.

Dreams Like Podcast. Downloading Truth In My Ears. They Tell Me Cool Stuff.

What Colors Are The Eyes Of Anubis?" "brown...duh.

Staplers--- Excellent Source Of Iron

Sorghum Started To Answer, But Wheat Flew At Him And Knocked Him Down. The Karpoi Began To Fight, Dissolving Into Funnel Clouds Of Grain. Hazel Considered Making A Run For It. Then Wheat Re-formed, Holding Sorghum In A Headlock. "stop!" He Yelled At The Others. "mulitgrain Fighting Is Not Allowed!

Hello, Hazel Levesque.

I Disobeyed Ra's Wishes, And So He Ordered My Onw Father, Shu-" "hang On," I Said. "shoe?" "s-h-u," She Said. "the God Of The Wind." "on." I Wished These Gods Had Names That Wearn't Common Household Objects. "go On, Please.

I’ll Leave You Guys To Get Acquainted. Somebody Show Leo To Dinner When It’s Time?” “i Got It,” One Of The Girls Said. Nyssa, Leo Remembered. She Wore Camo Pants, A Tank Top That Showed Off Her Buff Arms, And A Red Bandanna Over Her Mop Of Dark Hair. Except For The Smiley-face Band-aid On Her Chin, She Looked Like One Of Those Female Action Heroes, Like Any Second She Was Going To Grab A Machine Gun And Start Mowing Down Evil Aliens. “cool,” Leo Said. “i Always Wanted A Sister Who Could Beat Me Up.

"we're Staying Together," He Promised. "you're Not Getting Away From Me. Never Again."

I Think Anytime You're Writing To The Middle Grades, You're Writing To Young Readers Who Are Trapped In A Number Of Ways Between Two Worlds: Between Childhood And Adulthood, Between Their Friends And Their Parents.

I've Never Been A Collector - Just A Consumer - And These Days Unless A Book Is Signed To Me By Another Author, I Don't Normally Have Any Qualms About Passing It To A Friend Or Donating It To The Library.

Thank Artemis, It Is You! That Little Scar On Your Lip--you Tried To Eat A Stapler When You Were Two!" ... Hedge Nodded Like He Approved Of Jason's Taste. "staplers--excellent Source Of Iron.

Aphrodite: Pfft. That's Not The Point. Follow Your Heart. Percy: But... I Don't Know Where It's Going. My Heart, I Mean.

Percy (to Annabeth): If I Was Going To Pick One Person In The World To Reattach My Head, I'd Pick You. Silena: Awww . . . Percy, That Is So Sweet! Annabeth: Shut Up, Silena.

As An Author, I Don't Really Think Too Much About Being A Celebrity. It's Not Like Being A Movie Star Or A Tv Star. It's Not As If People Recognize Me When I Walk Down The Street. That Hardly Ever Happens, And It's Just As Well. But It Is Great When People Know My Books, When I Walk Through An Airport And See Them In The Bookstore, Or When I See Someone Reading A Book On A Plane Or On A Train, And It's Something I've Written. That's A Wonderful Feeling.

And In The Fountain Squatted A Giant Crab. I’m Not Talking ‘giant’ Like $7.99 All-you-can-eat Alaskan King Crab. I’m Talking ‘giant’ Like Bigger Than The Fountain.

How Did You Die?" "we Er....drowned In A Bathtub." "all Three Of You?" "it Was A Big Bathtub.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

I Racked My Brain Trying To Remember The Names Of All Of Nut’s Five Children. Bit Difficult Without My Brother, The Human Wikipedia, Around To Keep Track Of Such Trivia For Me.

Let Me Get This Straight. Your Table Ran Away Because You Polished It With Windex?

Until She Met The Exploding Statue, Annabeth Thought She Was Prepared For Anything.

Your Uncle," Poseidon Sighed, "has Always Had A Flair For Dramatic Exits. I Think He Would've Done Well As The God Of Theater.

Leo Dropped Into The Pool And Approched The Cage. "hola, Tia. Little Bit Of Trouble?" She [hera] Crossed Her Arms And Sighed In Exasperation. "don't Inspect Me Like I'm One Of Your Machines, Leo Valdez. Get Me Out Of Here!

I Thought She'd Make Some Comment About The Bloodthirsty Gods Chasing Us, But When She Finally Found Her Voice, She Said, "that Boy Kissed You!" Leave It To Liz To Have Her Priorities Straight.

Thankfully,two Old Friends Stood Next To The Throne. Horus Wore Full Battle Armor And A Khopesh Sword At His Side.is Kohl-lined Eyes-one Gold, One Silver-were As Piercing As Ever. At His Side Stood Isis In A Shimmering White Gown, With Wings Of Light. "welcome," Horus Said. "um, Hi," I Said. "he Has A Way With Words," Isis Muttered, Which Made Sadie Snort.

I Blinked The Sleep Out Of My Eyes And Realized My Head Was In Khufu’s Lap. The Baboon Was Foraging My Scalp For Munchies. “dude.” I Sat Up Groggily. “not Cool.” “but He Gave You A Lovely Hairdo,” Sadie Said. “agh-agh!” Khufu Agreed.

We Had Enough Quite Enough Snobbery In This World Without Exporting It To The Hereafter.

Everybody Loves To Show Up At The Party Once All The Hard Work Is Done.

He Remembered His Home Now, And That Gave Him New Determination To Succeed. He Was Fighting For Two Camps Now -- Two Families.

Thank Ra!” She Exclaimed. “yeah, I’m Alive.” “no, I Almost Jumped In After You. I Hate The Water!

Nothing Lasts Forever. But The Thing Is, You Can Reuse Some. Use Your Mind. - Leo's Mother, The Lost Hero

I Didn't Understand How. But The Toilets Had Responded To Me. I Had Become One With The Plumbing.

Well," I Said. "if You Need Me, I'll Be Outside, Playing With Sharp Objects.

Even His Hair Was Bigger—a Massive Globe Of Blue-black Frizz So Thick That His Lobster-claw Horns Appeared To Be Drowning As They Tried To Swim Their Way To The Surface. “is That Why They Named You Aphros?” Leo Asked As They Glided Down The Path From The Cave. “because Of The Afro?” Aphros Scowled. “what Do You Mean?” “nothing,” Leo Said Quickly.

Desjardins Was Literally Fuming. His Tattered Robes Still Smoked From Battle. (carter Says I Shouldn’t Mention That His Pink Boxer Shorts Were Showing, But They Were!)

Before Keto Could Notice, Hedge Pointed Towards The Top Of The Amphitheater. It Looked Like He Might Be Screaming, Gods Of Olympus, What Is That? Keto Turned. Coach Hedge Promptly Took Off His Fake Foot And Ninja-kicked Her In The Back Of The Head With His Goat Hoof.

Can You Surf Really Well, Then?" I Looked At Grover, Who Was Trying Hard Not To Laugh. "jeez, Nico," I Said. "i've Never Really Tried." He Went On Asking Questions. Did I Fight A Lot With Thalia, Since She Was A Daughter Of Zeus? (i Didn't Answer That One.) If Annabeth's Mother Was Athena, The Goddess Of Wisdom, Then Why Didn't Annabeth Know Better Than To Fall Off A Cliff? (i Tried Not To Strangle Nico For Asking That One.) Was Annabeth My Girlfriend? (at This Point, I Was Ready To Stick The Kid In A Meat-flavored Sack And Throw Him To The Wolves.)

June Cackled With Delight, Muttering, "whoops!" As A Car Almost Killed Them.

Which Meant His Only Assets Were One Whiny Imprisoned Goddess, One Sort-of-girlfriend With A Dagger, And Leo, Who Apparently Thought He Could Defeat The Armies Of Darkness With Breath Mints.

The Truth Hit Him. Jason Wasn't Quite Roman Anymore. His Time At Camp Half-blood Had Changed Him. Reyna Had Recognized That. Apparently, So Did The Undead Legionnaires. If Jason No Longer Gave Off The Right Sort Of Vibe, Or Aura Of A Roman Leader.

I Pulled Out Riptide.

Like Some Helpful Person (hi, Mom) Has Tried To "'clean'" It, And Suddenly You Can't Find Anything?

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.

It Doesn't Matter! From Waist Down, My Best Friend Is A Donkey.

The Sign Read Mouse Pass Gas Frank: "that's Wrong

Rachel: You're A Half-blood, Too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just Announce It To The World, How About? Rachel: Okay. Hey, Everybody! These Two Aren't Human! They're Half Greek God!...they Don't Seem To Care.

You're The Last Olympian,' I Said. 'and The Most Important.' And Why Is That, Percy Jackson?' Because Hope Survives Best At The Hearth,' I Said.

Thalia's Shoulders Relaxed. "i Owe You One." "two." "one And A Half," Thalia Said. She Smiled, And For A Second, I Remembered That I Actually Liked Her When She Wasn't Yelling At Me.

The Last Time I'd Seen The Minotaur, He'd Been Wearing Nothing But His Tighty Whities. I Don't Know Why. Maybe He'd Been Shaken Out Of Bed To Chase Me.

Piper Patted His Shoulder. “trust Me, Valdez. Beautiful People Never Lie.

Oh, By The Way…” Jason Glanced At Percy. “i Resigned My Office, Gave Frank A Field Promotion To Praetor. Unless You Want To Contest That Ruling.” Percy Grinned. “no Argument Here.” “praetor?” Hazel Stared At Frank. He Shrugged Uncomfortably. “well… Yeah. I Know It Seems Weird.” She Tried To Throw Her Arms Around Him, Then Winced As She Remembered Her Busted Ribs. She Settled For Kissing Him. “it Seems Perfect.” Leo Clapped Frank On The Shoulder. “way To Go, Zhang. Now You Can Order Octavian To Fall On His Sword.

It's Funny How Humans Can Wrap Their Mind Around Things And Fit Them Into Their Version Of Reality.

I Sailed On The Cold Air Currents Above The Rooftops Of Paris. I Could See The River, The Louvre Museum, The Gardens And Palaces. And A Mouse-yum. Hang On, Carter, I Thought. Not Hunting Mice.

Percy Glanced Over. He Saw The Fallen Giant And Seemed To Understand What Was Happening. He Yelled Something That Was Lost In The Wind, Probably: Go! Then He Slammed Riptide Into The Ice At His Feet. The Entire Glacier Shuddered. Ghosts Fell To Their Knees. Behind Percy, A Wave Surged Up From The Bay-a Wall Of Gray Water Even Taller Than The Glacier. Water Shot From The Chasms And Crevices In The Ice. As The Wave Hit, The Back Half Of The Camp Crumbled. The Entire Edge Of The Glacier Peeled Away, Cascading Into The Void-carrying Buildings, Ghosts, And Percy Jackson Over The Edge.

When I Write, I'm Still Imagining A Kid Reading It On Paper. I Read E-books When I Travel, But In General I Still Prefer Holding An Old-fashioned Book In My Hands. There's A Special, Tactile Experience.

The Thing About Plummetting Downhill At Fifty Miles An Hour On A Snack Platter - If You Realize It's A Bad Idea When You're Halfway Down, It's Too Late.

Fish Ponies! I Put Them On The Ceiling!" -tyson

Go Chase A Donut. -percy Jackson.

I Don't Feel That Way Anymore," Nico Muttered. "i Mean... I Gave Up On Percy. I Was Young And Impressionable, And I- I Don't..." His Voice Cracked, And Jason Could Tell The Guy Was About To Get Teary-eyed. Whether Nico Had Really Given Up On Percy Or Not, Jason Couldn't Imagine What It Had Been Like For Nico All Those Years, Keeping A Secret That Would've Been Unthinkable To Share In The 1940s, Denying Who He Was, Feeling Completely Alone- Even More Isolated Than Other Demigods. "nico," He Said Gently, "i've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

We Speak With One Voice,” Walt Said. “especially On This Matter. No One Hurts Sadie Kane.

I Held It Up, And Tried To Channel Happy Dog Thoughts Toward Cerberus- Alpo Commercials, Cute Little Puppies, Fire Hydrants.

Think Long And Hard About How You Proceed, Nico Di Angelo. You Cannot Lie To Cupid. If You Let Your Anger Rule You... Well, Your Fate Will Be Even Sadder Then Mine.

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

You're Alive!" Percy Said To The Others. "the Giants Said You Were Captured. What Happened?" Leo Shrugged. "oh, Just Another Brilliant Plan By Leo Valdez. You'd Be Amazed What You Can Do With An Archimedes Sphere, A Girl Who Can Sense Stuff Underground, And A Weasel." "i Was The Weasel," Frank Said Glumly.

Did You Bring Me A Rat?" "he Has No Time For Rats, George." "no Time For Rats? That's Just Sad.

Sometimes You Have To Lose A Piece To Win A Game.

Out Of The Corner Of His Eye, He Saw Tyson Pounding The Earthborn Into The Ground Like A Game Of Whack-a-mole. Ella Was Fluttering Above Him, Dodging Missiles And Calling Out Advice: "the Groin. The Earthborn's Groin Is Sensitive." Smash! "good. Yes. Tyson Found Its Groin.

Charlie …" Silena’s Eyes Were A Million Miles Away. "see Charlie.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Cacus.” I’d Had Years Of Practice Looking Dumb When People Threw Out Greek Names I Didn’t Know. It’s A Skill Of Mine. Annabeth Keeps Telling Me To Read A Book Of Greek Myths, But I Don’t See The Need. It’s Easier Just To Have Folks Explain Stuff.

Tantalus Made A Wild Grab, But The Marshmallow Committed Suicide, Diving Into The Flames.

A Little Background: Annabeth Used To Adventure With Hermes's Son Luke. Over Time, Annabeth Developed A Crush On Luke. As Annabeth Got Older, Luke Developed Feelings For Her, Too. Luke Turned Evil. Hermes Blamed Annabeth For Not Preventing Luke From Turning Evil. Annabeth Blamed Hermes For Being A Rotten Dad And Giving Luke The Capacity To Become Evil In The First Place. Luke Died In War. Hermes And Annabeth Blamed Each Other. Confused? Welcome To My World.

Let Me Explain: There Are Dragons, And Then There Are Drakons. Drakons Are Several Millennia Older Than Dragons, Andmuch Larger. They Look Like Giant Serpents. Most Don't Have Wings. Most Don't Breathe Fire (though Some Do). All Are Poisonous. All Are Immensely Strong, With Scales Harder Than Titanium. Their Eyes Can Paralyze You; Not The Turn-you~to-stone Medusa-type Paralysis, Buttheoh~my~gods-that~big~snake~is~going~to~eat~me Type Of Paralysis, Which Is Just As Bad.

The Future For Commander Tool Belt Was Not Looking So Hot.

[iris] Squeezed His Hand. "don't Lose Hope, Frank. Rainbows Always Stand For Hope.

No Man May Be Completely Invulnerable.

Yay!' He Said. 'now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!

Mark My Words, Nothing Smells Worse Than Burned Scorpion.

Everyone Thinks You've Been Kidnapped," He Said. "we've Been Scouring The Ship. When Coach Hedge Finds Out- Oh, Gods, You've Been Here All Night?" "frank!" Annabeth's Ears Were As Red As Strawberries. "we Just Came Down Here To Talk. We Fell Asleep. Accidentally. That's It." "kissed A Couple Of Times," Percy Said. Annabeth Glared At Him. "not Helping!

I Know, I'm An Idiot!" Leo Moaned. "a Brilliant Idiot, But Still An Idiot.

It Almost Made Me Long For The Flying Pig. --percy

Caesar Broke The Law When He Crossed The Rubicon," Frank Said. "great Leaders Have To Think Out Side The Box Sometimes.

Waitress!" Hedge Called. "six Double Espressos, And Whatever These Guys Want. Put It On The Girl's Tab.

Thanks For Not Freaking Out," I Said. "oh, I'm Freaking Out," Paul Promised, His Eyes Wide. "i Just Think It's Awesome!

What’s The Best Part Of Being In Hermes Cabin? Connor: You Are Never Lonely. I Mean Seriously, New Kids Are Always Coming In. So You Always Have Someone To Talk To. Travis: Or Prank. Connor: Or Pickpocket. One Big Happy Family.

No, No,” Leo Said. “rainbows. Very Macho.

Annabeth Sat Up And Glared At Her Ankle. "you Had To Break," She Scolded It. The Ankle Did Not Reply.

Mythologically Speaking, If There's Anything I Hate Worse Than Trios Of Old Ladies, It's Bulls. Last Summer, I Fought The Minotaur On Top Of Half-blood Hill. This Time What I Saw Up There Was Even Worse: Two Bulls. And Not Just Regular Bulls - Bronze Ones The Size Of Elephants. And Even That Wasn't Bad Enough. Naturally They Had To Breathe Fire, Too.

Freak Is Easily Spooked. Flesh-eating Monsters Tend To Scare Him Away. So Do Fireworks, Clowns, And The Smell Of Sadie's Weird British Ribena Drink. (can't Blame Him On That Last One. Sadie Grew Up In London And Developed Some Pretty Strange Tastes.

In The Duat, Anubis Looked As He Always Had, With His Tousled Dark Hair And Lovely Brown Eyes, But I’d Never Seen Him Filled With Such Rage. I Realized That Anyone Who Dared To Hurt Me Would Suffer His Full Wrath, And Walt Wasn’t Going To Hold Him Back.

Contrary To What You Might Think, I Don't Spend Every Waking Hour Thinking About Boys." "just Most Waking Hours?

But Magic Is Neither Good Nor Evil. It Is A Tool, Like A Knife. Is A Knife Evil? Only If The Wielder Is Evil.

Then There Was Nico Di Angelo. Dang, That Kid Gave Leo The Freaky-deakies. He Sat Back In His Leather Aviator Jacket, His Black T-shirt And Jeans, That Wicked Silver Skull Ring On His Finger, And The Stygian Sword At His Side. His Tufts Of Black Hair Struck Up In Curls Like Baby Bat Wings. His Eyes Were Sad And Kind Of Empty, As If He’d Stared Into The Depths Of Tartarus—which He Had.

We Only Came Close To Dying Six Or Seven Times, Which I Thought Was Pretty Good. Once, I Lost My Grip And Found Myself Dangling By One Hand From A Ledge Fifty Feet Above The Rocky Surf. But I Found Another Handhold And Kept Climbing. A Minute Later Annabeth Hit A Slippery Patch Of Moss And Her Foot Slipped. Fortunately, She Found Something Else To Put It Against. Unfortunately, That Something Was My Face. "sorry," She Murrmured. "s'okay," I Grunted, Though I'd Never Really Wanted To Know What Annabeth's Sneaker Tasted Like.

The Olympians Were A Reminder That There Was Always Someone Better Than You, So You Shouldn't Get A Big Head.

Caught In A Bad Romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!" Nellie Wailed Along To The Xm Radio Blaring From The Enormous Speakers. "can I Uncover My Ears Now?" Dan Called From The Back, Where He Was Reclined Across The Leather Seat. "has Nellie Stopped Her Lady Gag Me Impression?

I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-algebra Teacher

The Friday Before Winter Break, My Mom Packed Me An Overnight Bag And A Few Deadly Weapons And Took Me To A New Boarding School.

The Right Choice Is Hardly Ever The Easy Choice.

Sadie Got Up And Kissed Amos On The Forehead. “leave It To Us, Uncle. I’ve Got A Plan.” “that,” I Said, “sounds Like Very Bad News.

When Luke Had Descended Into The River Styx, He Would've Had To Focus On Something Important That Would Hold Him To His Mortal Life. Otherwise He Would've Dissolved. I Had Seen Annabeth, And I Had A Feeling He Had Too. He Had Pictured That Scene Hestia Showed Me—of Himself In The Good Old Days With Thalia And Annabeth, When He Promised They Would Be A Family. Hurting Annabeth In Battle Had Shocked Him Into Remembering That Promise. It Had Allowed His Mortal Conscience To Take Over Again, And Defeat Kronos. His Weak Spot—his Achilles Heel—had Saved Us All

I Headed Towards The Mountain, Which Was An Almost Irresistible Beacon To My Storm Self. It Glowed With Heat, Pressure, And Turbulence—everything A Little Dust Devil Like Me Could Want.

Survive First. Figure Out Crayon Drawing Of Destiny Later.

It’s Hard To Look In Charge When You’re Hunched Over Like Quasimodo.

She Had To Go On This Quest. The Fate Of The World Might Depend On It. But Part Of Him Wanted To Say: Forget The World. He Didn’t Want To Be Without Her.

Dejardins Was So Stunned, He Momentarily Forgot How To Speak English. "ce N'est Pas Possible. On Ne Pourrait Pas-

See, Bad Things Happen To Me On Field Trips. Like At My Fifth-grade School, When We Went To The Saratoga Battlefield, I Had This Accident With A Revolutionary War Cannon. I Wasn't Aiming For The School Bus, But Of Course I Got Expelled Anyway. - Percy Jackson

Liz Cleared Her Throat. "isn't There A More Polite Term We're Supposed To Use Nowadays? Like....little Person, Or Vertically Challenged,or-" "i'm Not Going To Call Myself The God Of Vertically Challenged People," Bes Grumbled. "i'm A Dwarf!

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

I Smiled At The Giant. “actually, Cacus, I Have Another Secret Weapon.” The Giant’s Eyes Lit Up With Greed. “another Weapon? I Will Steal It! I Will Copy It And Sell The Knockoffs For A Profit! What Is This Secret Weapon?” “her Name Is Annabeth,” I Said. “and She’s One Of A Kind.

Leo. Jason Said, You're Wierd. Yeah, You Tell Me That A Lot. Leo Grinned. But If You Don't Remember Me, That Means I Can Reuse All My Old Jokes. Come On!

Do You Have A Favorite Constalation, Percy?' I Was Still Kind Of Wondering About The Little Green Snakes He'd Shoved Into His Jogging Shorts, But I Said. 'uh, I Like Hercules.' 'why?' 'well... Because He Had Rotten Luck. Even Worse Than Mine. It Makes Me Feel Better." The Jogger Chuckled. 'not Because He Was Strong And Famouse And All That?' 'no.

Percy Imagined What That Would Be Like: Getting An Apartment In This Tiny Replica Of Rome, Protected By The Legion And Terminus The Ocd Border God. He Imagined Holding Hands With Annabeth At A Cafe. Maybe When They Were Older, Watching Their Own Kid Chase Seagulls Across The Forum.

Aphrodite Strikes Again, Huh? You're Gonna Be The Best-dressed Warrior In Town, Beauty Queen.

[hazel] Hissed In Frustration. 'i Hate Eidolons. I Thought Piper Made Them Promise To Stay Away.' 'oh...' Frank Said, Like He'd Just Had His Own Daily Happy Thought. 'piper Made Them Promise To Stay Off The Ship And Not Possess Any Of Us. But If They Followed Us, And Used Other Bodies To Attack Us, Then They're Not Technically Breaking Their Vow...' 'great,' Leo Muttered. 'eidolons Who Are Also Lawyers. Now I Really Want To Kill Them.

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Naturally, Coach Hedge Went Ballistic; But Percy Found It Hard To Take The Satyr Seriously Since He Was Barely Five Feet Tall. "never In My Life!" Coach Bellowed, Waving His Bat And Knocking Over A Plate Of Apples. "against The Rules! Irresponsible!" "coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll—i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

For Once, I Didn't Look Back.

I Seriously Needed An Extra-strength Magic Pillow, Because My Ba Refused To Stay Put. [and No, Sadie, I Don't Think Wrapping My Head In Duct Tape Would've Worked Either.]

Boys Are Usually Forbidden To Have Any Contact With The Hunters. The Last One To See This Camp..." She Looked At Zoe. "which One Was It?" That Boy In Colorado," Zoe Said. "you Turned Him Into A Jackalope." Ah, Yes." Artemis Nodded, Satisfied. "i Enjoy Making Jackalopes.

Any Moment Now..." The Girl [calypso] Stared Out At The Water. No Magical Raft Appeared. "maybe It Got Stuck In A Traffic," Leo Said.

Only The Fire Of Life Can Melt The Chains Of Death.

Before I Could Figure Out How To Apologize For Being Such An Idiot, She Tackled Me With A Hug, Then Pulled Away Just As Quickly. "i'm Glad You're Not A Guinea Pig." "me, Too." I Hoped My Face Wasn't As Red As It Felt.

There Was Tyson Moving Into The Poseidon Cabin, Giggling To Himself Every Fifteen Seconds And Saying, "percy Is My Brother?" Like He'd Just Won The Lottery. Aw, Tyson," I'd Say. "it's Not That Simple.

Now, You'll Have To Answer My Questions." "oh, Very Well," Set Said. "i Like Brazil For The World Cup. I'd Advise Investing In Platinum And Small-cap Funds. And Your Lucky Numbers This Week Are 2, 13--" "not Those Questions!" Menshikov Snapped.

Coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll-i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

Now Fight Me! For Today Thee House Of Hades Will Be Called The Saviors Of Olympus.

It Seemed Weird Calling A Teenager 'sir' But I'd Learned To Be Careful With Immortals. They Tended To Get Offended Easily. Then, They Blew Stuff Up.

That's It, Cupcake. You're Going Down.

Nothing Like Adhd And A Good Fight To The Death To Make Time Fly

Right.” Sadie Looked Dazed. “you’ve Got A Monkey Butler. Why Not?

As A Magician, You Must Think About Chaos And Order. Those Are The Two Forces That Control The Universe.

Kids, If Anything, Are Harder To Write For Because They Are A More Discerning Audience. They Will Not Stay With You If You Go Off On A Tangent Or If You Give Them Extraneous Information That Doesn't Serve The Story. You Really Have To Tell A Tight Story. You Have To Give Them Humor And Suspense And Believable Characters. All Those Things That Adults Want Too, But You Have To Be Really On Your Game When You're Writing For Kids.

Zoe Readied Her Arrows. Grover Lifted His Pipes. Thalia Raised Her Shield And I Noticed A Tear Running Down Her Cheek. Suddenly It Occurred To Me: This Had Happened To Her Before.she Had Been Cornered On Half- Blood Hill. She'd Willingly Given Her Life For Her Friends. But This Time She Couldn't Save Us.

Something Inside Me Clicked, Like An Engine Shifting Into Higher Gear. My Thinking Suddenly Became Faster And Clearer. The Anger And Fear Didn't Go Away, But I Realized They Weren't Important. They Weren't Going To Help Me.

Blowfish, Did You Say?" "ah, No. Blofis, Actually." "oh, I See," Poseidon Said. "a Shame. I Quite Like Blowfish.

Destroy It?' Leo Was Appalled. 'you've Got A Life-size Bronze Dragon, And You Want To Destroy It?' 'it Breathes Fire,' Nyssa Explained. 'it's Deadly And Out Of Control.' 'but It's A Dragon!

Leo Drummed His Fingers. “great. I Should Have Installed A Smoke Screen That Makes The Ship Smell Like A Giant Chicken Nugget. Remind Me To Invent That, Next Time.” Hazel Frowned. “what Is A Chicken Nugget?” “oh, Man…” Leo Shook His Head In Amazement. “that's Right. You’ve Missed The Last, Like, Seventy Years. Well, My Apprentice, A Chicken Nugget—” “doesn’t Matter,” Annabeth Interrupted.

Heroes!" Euryale Said With Disgust. "they Always Bring That Up, Just Like Our Mother! 'why Can't You Turn People To Stone? Your Sister Can Turn People To Stone.' Well, I'm Sorry To Disappoint You, Boy! That Was Medusa's Curse Alone. She Was The Most Hideous One In The Family. She Got All The Luck!" Stheno Looked Hurt. "mother Said I Was The Most Hideous.

I've Always Found The Second Book In A Series Is The Hardest To Write.

I Don't Recommend Shadow Travel If You're Scared Of: A) The Dark B) Cold Shivers Up Your Spine C) Strange Noises D) Going So Fast You Feel Like Your Face Is Peeling Off In Other Words, I Thought It Was Awesome.

The Other Thing That Troubled Me: Dad Was Clutching His Workbag. Usually When He Does That, It Means We're In Danger. Like The Time Gunmen Stormed Into Our Hotel In Cairo. I Heard Shots Coming From The Lobby And Ran Downstairs To Check On My Dad. By The Time I Got There, He Was Just Calmly Zipping Up His Workbag While Three Unconscious Gunmen Hung By Their Feet From The Chandelier, Their Robes Falling Over Their Heads So You Could See Their Boxer Shorts. Dad Claimed Not To Have Witnessed Anything, And In The End The Police Blamed A Freak Chandelier Malfunction.

June Smiled. "so What Will It Be? Safety, Or A Future Of Pain And Possibility?"

Annabeth Didn’t Want To Sleep, But Her Body Betrayed Her. Her Eyelids Turned To Lead. “percy, Wake Me For Second Watch. Don’t Be A Hero.” He Gave Her That Smirk She’d Come To Love. “who, Me?” He Kissed Her, His Lips Parched And Feverishly Warm. “sleep.

Imagine Jumping Into A Pit Of Boiling Acid. Now Multiply That Pain Times Fifty." -percy

I Can’t Believe How Much This Place Has Grown,” Hazel Muttered. The Taxi Driver Grinned In The Rearview Mirror. “been A Long Time Since You Visited, Miss?” “about Seventy Years,” Hazel Said. The Driver Slid The Glass Partition Closed And Drove On In Silence.

"he Mentioned It!" One Of The Ghosts Whimpered.

I Think Kids Want The Same Thing From A Book That Adults Want - A Fast-paced Story, Characters Worth Caring About, Humor, Surprises, And Mystery. A Good Book Always Keeps You Asking Questions, And Makes You Keep Turning Pages So You Can Find Out The Answers.

Are You Suggesting That The Gods Have Trouble Acting Together, Young Lady?" Dionysus Asked. Yes, Lord Dionysus." Mr. D Nodded. "just Checking. You're Right, Of Course. Carry On.

Once I Saw Desjardins’ House, I Hated Him Even More. It Was A Huge Mansion On The Other Side Of The Tuileries, On The Rue Des Pyramids. “pyramids Road?” Sadie Said. “obvious, Much?” “maybe He Couldn’t Find A Place On Stupid Evil Magician Street,” I Suggested.

The Dead See What They Believe They Will See. So Do The Living. That Is The Secret.

Nico Di Angelo Came Into Olympus To A Hero's Welcome, His Father Right Behind Him, Despite The Fact That Hades Was Only Supposed To Visit Olympus In Winter Solstice. The God Of The Dead Looked Stunned When His Relatives Clapped Him On The Back. I Doubt He'd Ever Got Such An Enthusiastic Welcome Before.

Oh, My Dear! I’m Afraid You’ve Mistaken Me For Someone Else! My Name Is Rhea Silvia. I Was The Mother To Romulus And Remus, Thousands Of Years Ago. But You’re So Kind To Think I Look As Young As The 1950s.

Don't Die On Me," She Ordered. "you Are Not Dying On Me." "yes, Ma'am." He Felt Light-headed, But She Was About The Most Beautiful Thing He'd Ever Seen. Her Hair Was Smoldering. Her Face Was Smudged With Soot. She Had A Cut On Her Arm, Her Dress Was Torn, And She Was Missing A Boot. Beautiful.

Why Do You Need To Gallop While You Fly?" "why Do Humans Have To Sway Their Arms While They Walk? I Dunno Boss, But It Just Feels Right.

I Couldn't Believe I'd Come This Far, Lost Tyson, Suffered Through So Much, Only To Fail - Stopped By A Big Stupid Monster In A Baby-blue Tuxedo Kilt. Nobody Was Going To Swat Down My Friends Like That! I Mean... Nobody, Not Nobody. Ah, You Know What I Mean.

Genius Does Not Excuse Evil.

Polyphemus Stiffened. "who Said That?" "nobody!" Annabeth Yelled. That Got Exactly The Reaction She'd Been Hoping For. The Monster's Face Turned Red With Rage. "nobody!" Polyphemus Yelled Back. "i Remember You!" "you're Too Stupid To Remember Anybody," Annabeth Taunted. "much Less Nobody.

I'd Love To Tell You I Had Some Deep Revelation On My Way Down, That I Came To Terms With My Own Mortality, Laughed In The Face Of Death, Et Cetera. The Truth? My Only Thought Was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

There's My Baby!" I Cried, Quite Carried Away, "there's My Poochiekins!" ... "sadie," My Dad Said Firmly, "please Do Not Refer To The Devourer Of Souls As 'poochiekins'.

Different Elevator Music Was Playing Since My Last Visit-that Old Disco Song "stayin' Alive." A Terrifying Image Flashed Through My Mind Of Apollo In Bell-bottom Pants And A Slinky Silk Shirt.

I Wondered If I Would Appear On A Temple Wall Painting Someday. A Blonde Egyptian Girl With Purple Highlights Running Sideways Through The Palm Trees, Screaming "yikes!" In Hieroglyphics As Neith Chased After Me. The Thought Of Some Poor Archaeologist Trying To Figure That Out Almost Lifted My Spirits.

If You Ever Leave Me Again,’ She Said, Her Eyes Stinging, ‘i Swear To All The Gods-‘ Percy Had The Nerve To Laugh. Suddenly The Lump Of Heated Emotions Melted Inside Annabeth. ‘consider Me Warned,’ Percy Said. ‘i Missed You, Too.

Stupid Sixteen Year Old Kid Falling From The Sky! I'm Late!

You Speak Horse?" Hazel Asked. "speaking To Horses Is A Poseidon Thing," Percy Said. "uh, I Mean A Neptune Thing." "then You And Arion Should Get Along Fine," Hazel Said. "he's A Son Of Neptune Too." Percy Turned Pale. "excuse Me?

That Perseus Always Won. That's Why My Momhad Named Me After Him, Even If He Was Son Of Zeus Ann I Was Son Of Posidon. The Original Perseus Was One Of The Only Heros In The Greek Myths Who Got A Happy Ending. The Others Died-betrayed, Mauled, Mutilated, Poisoned, Or Cursed By The Gods. My Mom Hoped I Would Inherit Perseus's Luck. Judging By How My Life Was Going So Far, I Wasn't Too Optimistic.

Lovely. Imprisoned In A Nursery School Dungeon.

But I've Never Even Been To Olympus! Zeus Is Crazy!" Chiron And Grover Glanced Nervously At The Sky. The Clouds Didn't Seem To Be Parting Around Us, As Grover Had Promised. They Were Rolling Straight Over Our Valley, Sealing Us In Like A Coffin Lid. Er, Percy ...?" Grover Said. "we Don't Use The C-word To Describe The Lord Of The Sky.

Great, I Thought. We Just Blowtorched A National Monument.

Poseidon Grinned. "you're Doing Well With Those New Cabins, By The Way. I Suppose This Means I Can Claim All Those Other Sons And Daughters Of Mine And Send You Some Siblings Next Summer." "ha-ha." Poseidon Reeled In His Empty Line. I Shifted My Feet. "um, You Were Kidding, Right?" Poseidon Gave Me One Of His Inside-joke Winks, And I Still Didn't Know Whether He Was Serious Or Not.

I Guess It Started In London, The Night Our Dad Blew Up The British Museum.

True Success Requires Sacrifice.

"monkey Bars," Annabeth Said. "i'm Great At These." She Leaped Onto To The First Rung And Started Swinging Her Way Across. She Was Scared Of Tiny Spiders, But Not Of Plummeting To Her Death From A Set Of Monkey Bars. Go Figure.

That's What Being A Demigod Was All About, Not Quite Belonging In The Mortal World Or On Mount Olympus But Trying To Make Peace With Both Sides Of Their Nature.

You Will Not Believe Me, But I Am Proud Of Your Strength. Sometimes. . . Sometimes The Only Way I Can Care For My Children Is To Keep My Distance.

Amy, Dan, And Nellie Were Sitting At A Table In A Conference Room, Examining Reproductions Of Franklin Documents-some So Rare, The Librarians Told Her, The Only Copies Existed In Paris. "yeah, Here's A Rare Grocery List," Dan Muttered. "wow.

Now, I Figured That The Built-up Gas In Most Boys' Locker Rooms Was Enough To Cause An Explosion, So I Wasn't Surprised When The Flaming Dodgeball Ignited A Huge Whooooooom!

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