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Brother Dear,” I Said, “did Your Soul Leave Your Body While Amos Was Talking, Or Did You Actually Hear Him? Egyptian Gods Real. Red Lord Bad. Red Lord’s Birthday: Very Soon, Very Bad. House Of Life: Fussy Magicians Who Hate Our Family Because Dad Was A Bit Of A Rebel, Whom You Could Take A Lesson From. Which Leaves Us—just Us—with Dad Missing, An Evil God About To Destroy The World, And An Uncle Who Just Jumped Off The Building—and I Can’t Actually Blame Him.” I Took A Breath. [yes, Carter, I Do Have To Breathe Occasionally.]

-Rick Riordan

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Brother Dear,” I Said,

Rick Riordan

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Brother Dear,” I Said, “did Your Soul Leave Your Body While Amos Was Talking, Or Did You Actually Hear Him? Egyptian Gods Real. Red Lord Bad. Red Lord’s Birthday: Very Soon, Very Bad. House Of Life: Fussy Magicians Who Hate Our Family Because Dad Was A Bit Of A Rebel, Whom You Could Take A Lesson From. Which Leaves Us—just Us—with Dad Missing, An Evil God About To Destroy The World, And An Uncle Who Just Jumped Off The Building—and I Can’t Actually Blame Him.” I Took A Breath. [yes, Carter, I Do Have To Breathe Occasionally.]

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Then There Was Nico Di Angelo. Dang, That Kid Gave Leo The Freaky-deakies. He Sat Back In His Leather Aviator Jacket, His Black T-shirt And Jeans, That Wicked Silver Skull Ring On His Finger, And The Stygian Sword At His Side. His Tufts Of Black Hair Struck Up In Curls Like Baby Bat Wings. His Eyes Were Sad And Kind Of Empty, As If He’d Stared Into The Depths Of Tartarus—which He Had.

Spontaneous Combustion Is A Form Of Harm, Mr. D," Chiron Put In.

We Stepped Back And Looked At The King Of The Gods, Slumped In His Chair Snoring, And Cradling His Crook Like A Teddy Bear. I Placed The War Flail Across His Lap, Hoping It Might Make A Difference—maybe Complete His Powers Or Something. No Such Luck. "sick Weasels," Ra Muttered. "behold," Sadie Said Bitterly. "the Glorious Ra.

That’s Narmer With The Spoon,” I Guessed. “angry Because The Other Bloke Stole His Breakfast Cereal?

Kids Are Baby Goats. They're Cute And They Have Redeeming Social Value. You Are Definitely Not Kids.

Hermes's Shoulders Sagged. "they'll Try, Percy. Oh, We'll All Try To Keep Our Promise. And Maybe For A While Things Will Get Better. But We Gods Have Never Been Good At Keeping Oaths. You Were Born Because Of A Broken Promise, Eh? Eventually We'll Become Forgetful. We Always Do." "you Can Change." Hermes Laughed. "after Three Thousand Years, You Think The Gods Can Change Their Nature?" "yeah," I Said. "i Do.

Run!” Piper Said. “we Are Running!” Jason Picked Up The Speed. “run Better!” Leo Shouted.

Ah, Mastery Of The Five Elements!" "is That The One We Want?" I Asked. "no, But A Good One. How To Tame The Five Essential Elements Of The Universe - Earth, Air, Water, Fire, And Cheese!" "cheese?

I Can’t Believe How Much This Place Has Grown,” Hazel Muttered. The Taxi Driver Grinned In The Rearview Mirror. “been A Long Time Since You Visited, Miss?” “about Seventy Years,” Hazel Said. The Driver Slid The Glass Partition Closed And Drove On In Silence.

Red Cattle," Annabeth Said. "the Cattle Of The Sun." "what?" I [percy] Asked. "they're Sacred To Apollo." "holy Cows?

I’m The God Of Funerals. I Know Every Death Custom In The World—how To Die Properly, How To Prepare The Body And Soul For The Afterlife. I Live For Death.” “you Must Be Fun At Parties,” I Said.

So What If They Were In Tartarus? So What If They Stood A Slim Chance Of Surviving? He Was So Glad That They Were Together, He Had The Ridiculous Urge To Smile.

I Wondered If She'd Ever Written On Her Notebook: Geb + Nut = True Love Or Mrs Geb.

I Don't Care What Your Nose Says! The Last Time You Smelled Half-blood, It Turned Out To Be A Meatloaf Sandwich!" "meatloaf Sandwiches Are Good! But This Is A Half-blood Scent, I Swear. They Are On Board!" "bah, Your Brain Isn't On Board!

She (annabeth) Put Her Hand On My Spine, And My Skin Tingled. I (percy) Moved Her Fingers To The One Spot That Grounded Me To My Mortal Life. A Thousand Volts Of Electricity Seemed To Arc Through My Body.

Happy The Dragon Was Not So Happy.

The Pinecone Is A Fearsome Tool Of Destruction! -bacchus

What If It Lines Up Like It Did In The Trojan War ... Athena Versus Poseidon?" "i Don't Know. But I Just Know That I'll Be Fighting Next To You." "why?" "because You're My Friend, Seaweed Brain. Any More Stupid Questions?

I Turned And Found Dionysus Standing There, Still In His Black Suit. Walk With Me,” He Said. Where To?” I Asked Suspiciously. Just To The Campfire,” He Said. “i Was Beginning To Feel Better, So I Thought I Would Talk With You A Bit. You Always Manage To Annoy Me.” Uh, Thanks.

There!" Mars Finished Writing And Threw The Scroll At Octavian. "a Prophecy. You Can Add It To Your Books, Engrave It On The Floor, Whatever." Octavian Read The Scroll. "this Says, 'go To Alaska. Find Thanatos And Free Him. Come Back By Sundown On June Twenty-fourth Or Die'." "yes," Mars Said. "is That Not Clear?" "well, My Lord...usually Prophecies Are Unclear. They're Wrapped In Riddles. They Rhyme, And..." Mars Casually Popped Another Grenade Off His Belt. "yes?" "the Prophecy Is Clear!" Octavian Announced. "a Quest!

Freak Is Easily Spooked. Flesh-eating Monsters Tend To Scare Him Away. So Do Fireworks, Clowns, And The Smell Of Sadie's Weird British Ribena Drink. (can't Blame Him On That Last One. Sadie Grew Up In London And Developed Some Pretty Strange Tastes.

I Need To Use The Dam Bathroom, I Need To Use The Dam Snack Bar, I Want A Dam Tee-shirt.

If I'm Going To Survive, It Won't Be Because I Have A Lion-skin Cloak. I'm Not Hercules.

Never Seen Jason Fly Before," Percy Grumbled. "he Looks Like A Blond Superman

Annabeth Pressed Her Lips To Percy’s Ear. “i Love You.” She Wasn’t Sure He Could Hear Her—but If They Died, She Wanted Those To Be Her Last Words.

And If Someone Doesn’t Believe In Any Afterlife?” I Asked. Walt Gave Me A Sad Look. “then That’s What They Experience.

Love Was The Most Savage Monster Of All.

Hey!" I Screamed, Waving The Jacket, Running To One Side Of The Monster. "hey, Stupid! Ground Beef!

Percy," My Father Said, "what Exactly Do You Mean?" "kronos Couldn't Have Risen If It Hadn't Been For A Lot Of Demigods Who Felt Abandoned By Their Parents," I Said. "they Felt Angry, Resentful, And Unloved, And They Had A Good Reason.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

I Hate To Tell You This,” Jason Said, “but I Think Your Leopard Just Ate A Goddess.

If Annabeth's Mother Was Athena, The Goddess Of Wisdom, Then Why Didn't Annabeth Know Better Than To Fall Off A Cliff?

Um, Dues Ex Machina Anyone?

I Thought She'd Make Some Comment About The Bloodthirsty Gods Chasing Us, But When She Finally Found Her Voice, She Said, "that Boy Kissed You!" Leave It To Liz To Have Her Priorities Straight.

I Imagined Loading The God Of The Sea Into A Taxi And Taking Him To The Upper East Side.

Upper East Side

Does Truth Have A Moral?

The Cafe Windows Wrapped All The Way Around The Observation Floor, Which Gave Us A Beautiful Panoramic View Of The Skeleton Army That Had Come To Kill Us.

Leo Had Recently Discovered How To Change The Display, Like The Times Square Jumbotron,so Now The Banner Read: Merry Christmas! All Your Presents Belong To Leo!

Merry Christmas

June Smiled. "so What Will It Be? Safety, Or A Future Of Pain And Possibility?"

Annabeth: Hey, Seaweed Brain. Percy: Will You Stop Calling Me That? Annabeth: You Know You Love It.

Great. I've Made A Friend.

Besides, You're A Cat. It's Your Nature To Think You're The Center Of The Universe.

Center Of The Universe

Nothing Like Adhd And A Good Fight To The Death To Make Time Fly

The Baboon Is Driving,” I Noted. “should I Be Worried?

Menshikov Wants To See The Old Gold Swallowed By Apophis. He Wants To See The World Plunged Into Darkness And Chaos. He Is Quite Insane. "oh." [great Response, I Know. But What Do You Say To A Story Like That?]

Imitation Is Flattery

I Frowned. “you Mean Set’s Got, Like, Other Evil Gods On Speed Dial?

Good Luck, Boss. Don't Let'em Turn You Into Horse Meat! (blackjack)

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.

Amos Sipped His Coffee. "sorry If That Distubed You. Khufu's Very Picky. He Only Eats Foods That End In -o. Doritos, Burritos, Flamingos." I Blinked. "did You Say-" "carter," Sadie Warned. She Looked A Little Queasy, Like She'd Already Had This Conversation. "don't Ask.

Look, I Never Wanted To Be A Half-blood. Most Of The Time It Gets You Killed In Nasty, Dangerous Ways.

I Was Wishing I'd Bought Some Of That Camp Half Blood Orange Thermal Underwear..." ?!?!

You Want To Know How Egyptians Pulled The Brains Out Of Mummies. Or Built The Pyramids, Or Cursed King Tut's Tomb? My Dad's Your Man.

A Legacy That Powerful Does Not Disappear. Next To The Egyptians, The Greeks And Romans Were Babies. Our Modern Nations Like Great Britain And America? Blinks Of An Eye...the Very Oldest Root Of Civilization, At Least Of Western Civilization, Is Egypt. Look At The Pyramid On The Dollar Bill. Look At The Washington Monument—the World’s Largest Egyptian Obelisk. Egypt Is Still.......very Much Alive.

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