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My Name Is Zia Rashid.” She Tilted Her Head As If Listening. Right On Cue, The Entire Building Rumbled. Dust Sprinkled From The Ceiling, And The Slithering Sounds Of Scorpion Doubled In Volume Behind Us. “and Right Now,” Zia Continued, Sounding A Bit Disappointed, “i Must Save Your Miserable Lives.

-Rick Riordan

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My Name Is Zia

Rick Riordan

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My Name Is Zia Rashid.” She Tilted Her Head As If Listening. Right On Cue, The Entire Building Rumbled. Dust Sprinkled From The Ceiling, And The Slithering Sounds Of Scorpion Doubled In Volume Behind Us. “and Right Now,” Zia Continued, Sounding A Bit Disappointed, “i Must Save Your Miserable Lives.

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I'd Love To Tell You I Had Some Deep Revelation On My Way Down, That I Came To Terms With My Own Mortality, Laughed In The Face Of Death, Et Cetera. The Truth? My Only Thought Was: Aaaaggghhhhh!

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Scrawny? Baby, I Invented Scrawny. Scrawny Is The New Sizzling Hot.

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Warning: The Following Is A Transcript Of A Digital Recording. In Certain Places, The Audio Quality Was Poor, So Some Words And Phrases Represent The Author's Best Guesses. Where Possible, Illustrations Of Important Symbols Mentioned In The Recording Have Been Added. Background Noises Such As Scuffling, Hitting, And Cursing By The Two Speakers Have Not Been Transcribed The Author Makes No Claims For The Authenticity Of The Recording. It Seems Impossible That The Two Young Narrators Are Telling The Truth, But You, The Reader, Must Decide For Yourself.

Background Noise

Looking At The Elementary Schoolers In Their Colorful T-shirts From Various Day Camps, Percy Felt A Twinge Of Sadness. He Should Be At Camp Half-blood Right Now, Settling Into His Cabin For The Summer, Teaching Sword-fighting Lessons In The Arena, Playing Pranks On The Other Counselors. These Kids Had No Idea Just How Crazy A Summer Camp Could Be.

We Were Absolutely Destined To Meet Your Hot Sister

Writing Is Like A Sport - You Only Get Better If You Practice

No!" Leo Yelled. "uhhh," Nico Groaned From The Floor. "piper!" Jason Cried. "monkey!" Frank Yelled. "not Monkeys," Hazel Grumbled. "i Think Those Are Dwarfs." "stealing My Stuff!" Leo Yelled, And Ran For The Stairs.

If My Mom Told One More Story About How Cute I Looked In The Bathtub When I Was Three Years Old I Was Going To Burrow Into The Snow And Freeze Myself To Death.

No Hero Is Above Fear, Percy. And You Have Risen Above Every Hero. - Poseidon

I'll Show Them 'love Is Worthless,'" Silena Beauregard Grumbled As She Strapped On Her Armor. "i'll Pulverize Them!

We'd Spent Maybe Ten Minutes Together, During Which Time I'd Accidentally Swung A Sword At Her, She'd Saved My Life, And I'd Run Away Chased By A Band Of Supernatural Killing Machines. You Know, Your Typical Chance Meeting.

The Right Choice Is Hardly Ever The Easy Choice.

Where Are You Taking Us?" Nico Said. "you Should Be Honored, My Boy. You Will Have The Opportunity To Join A Great Army! Just Like That Silly Game You Play With Cards And Dolls." "they're Not Dolls! They're Figurines! And You Can Take Your Great Army And—

Percy Blinked. “so Your Brother Is A Winged Horse. But You’re Also My Half Brother, Which Means All The Flying Horses In The World Are My…you Know What? Lets’ Forget It.

Glad You're Back To Normal. The Makeup And The Dress Were A Lot More Intimidating Than The Dagger." "get Going, Sparky, Before I Skewer You." "sparky?

Selling One's Book To Hollywood Is Rather Like Selling Someone Your House. After It's Sold, It Isn't Yours Anymore. They Can Paint It A Different Color, Tear It Down And Build Something New, Or Do Anything They Want.

I Must Admit I’m Impressed, Sadie. You Controlled Your Magic And Controlled Isis. And You, Carter, Did Well Turning Into A Lizard.

The Way Leo Figured It, He Spent More Time Crashing Than He Did Flying. If There Was A Rewards Card For Frequent Crashers, He'd Be, Like, Double Platinum Level.

Cacus.” I’d Had Years Of Practice Looking Dumb When People Threw Out Greek Names I Didn’t Know. It’s A Skill Of Mine. Annabeth Keeps Telling Me To Read A Book Of Greek Myths, But I Don’t See The Need. It’s Easier Just To Have Folks Explain Stuff.

Caught In A Bad Romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!" Nellie Wailed Along To The Xm Radio Blaring From The Enormous Speakers. "can I Uncover My Ears Now?" Dan Called From The Back, Where He Was Reclined Across The Leather Seat. "has Nellie Stopped Her Lady Gag Me Impression?

The Forge Looked Like A Steam-powered Locomotive Had Smashed Into The Greek Parthenon And They Had Fused Together.

For An Absurd Moment, I Wondered If Ammit Devoured The Hearts Of Wicked Cows, And If He Liked The Beefy Taste. - Carter Kane

Brother Dear,” I Said, “did Your Soul Leave Your Body While Amos Was Talking, Or Did You Actually Hear Him? Egyptian Gods Real. Red Lord Bad. Red Lord’s Birthday: Very Soon, Very Bad. House Of Life: Fussy Magicians Who Hate Our Family Because Dad Was A Bit Of A Rebel, Whom You Could Take A Lesson From. Which Leaves Us—just Us—with Dad Missing, An Evil God About To Destroy The World, And An Uncle Who Just Jumped Off The Building—and I Can’t Actually Blame Him.” I Took A Breath. [yes, Carter, I Do Have To Breathe Occasionally.]

Leo Dropped Into The Pool And Approched The Cage. "hola, Tia. Little Bit Of Trouble?" She [hera] Crossed Her Arms And Sighed In Exasperation. "don't Inspect Me Like I'm One Of Your Machines, Leo Valdez. Get Me Out Of Here!

God Alert!" Blackjack Yelled. "it's The Wine Dude! Mr. D Sighed In Exasperation. "the Next Person, Or Horse, Who Calls Me The 'wine Dude' Will End Up In A Bottle Of Merlot!

Sometimes It Is Better To Have Someone You Mistrust Close To You, So That You Can Keep An Eye On Him - Chiron

You Titans Are About As Bright As My Gym Socks.

The Cafe Windows Wrapped All The Way Around The Observation Floor, Which Gave Us A Beautiful Panoramic View Of The Skeleton Army That Had Come To Kill Us.

Tyson, Frank Is A Descendant Of Poseidon." "brother!" Tyson Crushed Frank In A Hug. Percy Stifled A Laugh. "actually He's More Like A Great-great-...oh, Never Mind. Yeah, He's Your Brother." "thanks." Frank Mumbled Through A Mouthful Of Flannel.

Ah, Mastery Of The Five Elements!" "is That The One We Want?" I Asked. "no, But A Good One. How To Tame The Five Essential Elements Of The Universe - Earth, Air, Water, Fire, And Cheese!" "cheese?

Surfing?” He Asked. She Laughed, And The Sound Sent A Shock Wave Through The Water. The Wailing Faded To Background Noise. Annabeth Wondered If Anyone Had Ever Laughed In Tartarus Before—just A Pure, Simple Laugh Of Pleasure. She Doubted It.

Background Noise

Relax," Chiron Told Me. "keep A Clear Head. And Remember, You May Be About To Prevent The Biggest War In Human History." "relax," I Said. "i'm Very Relaxed.

You’re Probably Thinking: Wait, You Just Charged In Without A Plan? But Annabeth And I Had Been Fighting Together For Years. We Knew Each Other’s Abilities. We Could Anticipate Each Other’s Moves. I Might Have Felt Awkward And Nervous About Being Her Boyfriend, But Fighting With Her? That Came Naturally. Hmm…that Sounded Wrong. Oh, Well.

Five Shall Go West To The Goddess In Chains, One Shall Be Lost In The Land Without Rain, The Bane Of Olympus Shows The Trail, Campers And Hunters Combined Prevail, The Titan's Curse Must One Withstand, And One Shall Perish By A Parent's Hand

As In All Abercrombie's Books, Friends Turn Out To Be Enemies, Enemies Turn Out To Be Friends; The Line Between Good And Evil Is Murky Indeed; And Nothing Goes Quite As We Expect. With Eye-popping Plot Twists And Rollicking Good Action, Half A King Is Definitely A Full Adventure.

A Long White Ribbon Shot Out Of The Crack In The Wall. The Ribbon Just Kept Coming, Weaving Itself Into Some Kind Of Shape Next To Anubis, And My First Thought Was, My God, He’s Got A Magic Roll Of Toilet Paper.

Wisdom's Daughter Walks Alone, The Mark Of Athena Burns Through Rome.

Before I Could Lose My Courage, I Said, "don't I Get A Kiss For Luck? It's Kind Of A Tradition, Right?" I Figured She Would Punch Me. Instead, She Drew Her Knife And Stared At The Army Marching Toward Us. "come Back Alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, We'll See.

No, No,” Leo Said. “rainbows. Very Macho.

I Do Like To Wrap Things Up And Leave Some Things To The Readers' Imagination.

Someday, You Will Make An Excellent Guardian Ba.” “thanks,” I Muttered. “can’t Wait To Be Poultry Forever.

We Passed Hieroglyphic Scrolls, Gold Jewelry, Sarcophagi, Statues Of Pharaohs, And Huge Chunks Of Limestone. Why Would Someone Display A Rock? Aren't There Enough Of Those In The World?

Back When I Taught Middle School And Wrote Adult Mysteries, My Students Often Asked Me Why I Wasn't Writing For Kids. I Never Had A Good Answer For Them. It Took Me A Long Time To Realize They Were Right.

I Guess It Wasn't Everyday They See A Yellow Lifeboat With No Engine Going A Hundred Knots An Hour, Manned By Three Kids.

It Is A Costly Thing, Looking On The True Face Of Love.

I Come To Writing The Same Way I Come To Teaching, Which Is That My Goal Is Always To Create Life-long Readers.

He Raised An Eyebrow. "you Claim Not To Know Me? Of Course I'm Thoth. Also Called Djehuti. Also Called--" I [sadie] Stifled A Laugh. "ja-hooty?" Thoth Looked Offended. "in Ancient Egyptian, It's A Perfectly Fine Name. The Greeks Called Me Thoth. Then Later They Confused Me With Their God Hermes. Even Had The Nerve To Rename My Sacred City Hermopolis, Though We're Nothing Alike. Believe Me, If You've Ever Met Hermes--

I Have To Be Careful. My Readers Are Very Detail-oriented, And If I Make A Mistake They'll Call Me On It.

Bob Says Hello," He Told The Stars. The Argo Ii Sailed Into The Night.

Then She Did Something That Really Surprised Me. She Blinked Back Tears And Put Out Her Arms. I Stepped Forward And Hugged Her. Butterflies Started Turning My Stomach Into A Mosh Pit. "hey, It's... It's Okay." I Patted Her Back. I Was Aware Of Everything In The Room. I Felt Like I Could Read The Tiniest Print On Any Book On The Shelves. Annabeth's Hair Smelled Like Lemon Soap. She Was Shivering.

It Was A Crazy Idea. But, As Usual, That’s All Percy Had.

Right.” Sadie Looked Dazed. “you’ve Got A Monkey Butler. Why Not?

There's Another Problem," Percy Said. "i'm Not Good With Air Travel. It's Dangerous For A Son Of Neptune." "you'll Have To Risk It...and So Will I," Frank Said. "by The Way, We're Related." Percy Almost Stumbled Off The Roof. "what?

The First Thing We Pulled Out Was A Lump Of White Gunk. “wax,” Carter Pronounced. “fascinating.

You Are One Freaking Awesome Baboon.

Rowww!” Bast Wailed. The Wrecking Ball Rolled Straight Over Her, But She Didn’t Appear Hurt. She Leaped Off And Pounced Aain. Her Knives Sliced Through The Metal Like Wet Clay. Within Seconds, The Wrecking Ball Was Reduced To A Mound Of Scraps. Bast Sheathed Her Blades. “safe Now.” “you Saved Us From A Metal Ball,” Sadie Said. “you Never Know,” Bast Said. “it Could’ve Been Hostile.

Nico Started To Crawl Away, Groaning. Percy Wanted Him To Move Faster And Groan Less. He Considered Throwing His Wonder Bread At Him.

Percy Scowled. "i-i Know You." Nico Raised His Eyebrows. "do You?

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

Gabe Scratched His Double Chin. "maybe If You Hurry With The Seven-layer Dip...and Maybe If The Kid Apologizes For Interrupting My Poker Game." Maybe If I Kick You In Your Soft Spot, I Thought. And Make You Sing Soprano For A Week.

I Hoped I Wasn't Blushing. It Was Bad Enough I Had To Depend On My Mom To Drive Me To My Battles.

My Understanding Of Magic Is Fairly Straightforward. Hit Enemies With A Sword Until They’re Dead. If They Rise Again, Hit Them Again. Repeat As Necessary. It Worked Against Set.

It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

I Can't Summon Anymore Gas!" Leo Warned. The His Faced Turned Red. 'wow, That Came Out Wrong. I Mean The Burning Kind.

Um," Grover Said. "percy?" "yeah?" "i Thought You'd Want To Know." "yeah?" "cerberus? He's Saying We've Got Ten Seconds To Pray To The God Of Our Choice.after That...well...he's Hungry.

I (percy) Set Nico On Guard Duty With Beckendorf And The Stoll Brothers, Figuring He'd Be Safely Out Of The Way. ... "what's Happening?" Nico Demanded, Trying To Climb Up Next To Me.

She Had To Go On This Quest. The Fate Of The World Might Depend On It. But Part Of Him Wanted To Say: Forget The World. He Didn’t Want To Be Without Her.

Percy Smiled At Her - That Sarcastic Troublemaker Smile That Had Annoyed Her For Years But Eventually Had Become Endearing. His Sea-green Eyes Were As Gorgeous As She Remembered. His Dark Hair Was Swept To One Side, Like He'd Just Come From A Walk On The Beach. He Looked Even Better Than He Had Six Months Ago - Tanner And Taller, Leaner And More Muscular. Percy Threw His Arms Around Her. They Kissed And For A Moment Nothing Else Mattered. An Asteroid Could Have Hit The Planet And Wiped Out All Life, And Annabeth Wouldn't Have Cared.

You Have To Read A Lot So You Know What Good Writing Looks Like And You Get Inspired. You Have To Write A Lot Because It's Like A Sport - You Have To Practice. And, Also, You Have To Persevere. Don't Give Up. I Got Rejected On My First Book, Like, 14 Times, But I Just Kept Going. So Believe In Yourself And Don't Give Up.

June Cackled With Delight, Muttering, "whoops!" As A Car Almost Killed Them.

The Name Says It All. That's Where Dad (hades) Tries Out His New Punishment Ideas, But He Says The Traditional Ones Still Work Best: The Lava Flows, The Minefields Full Of Exploding Surprises, Burning At The Stake, Running Naked Through Cactus Patches... You Name It, We've Got It Here - Nico Di Angelo

No More Lastrygonians.” Ella Fluttered Down And Landed Next To Them. “six Minus Six Is Zero. Spears Are Good For Subtraction, Yep.

Our Baboon Was Going Completely Sky Goddess - Which Is To Say, Nuts.

Rachel: You're A Half-blood, Too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just Announce It To The World, How About? Rachel: Okay. Hey, Everybody! These Two Aren't Human! They're Half Greek God!...they Don't Seem To Care.

He [nico] Regarded Jason, As If Waiting For An Attack. 'if The Others Found Out-' 'if The Others Found Out,' Jason Said, 'you'd Have That Many More People To Back You Up, And To Unleash The Fury Of The Gods On Anybody Who Gives You Trouble.

They Know They’ve Won,” Carter Guessed. “they’re Making A Show Of It.” “yes,” Amos Said. “well, Let’s Blow Up The Boats Or Something!” I Said. Amos Looked At Me. “is That Your Strategy, Honestly?

Doubtful, But It Did Work... "annabeth?" Percy Said Again. "you're Planning Something. You've Got That I'm-planning-something Look." "i Don't Have An I'm-planning-something Look." "yeah, You Totally Do. Your Eyebrows Knit And Your Lips Press Together And ---" "do You Have A Pen?" She Asked Him. "you're Kidding, Right?" He Brought Out Riptide. "yes, But Can You Actually Write With It?" "i--i Don't Know," He Admitted. "never Tried.

You're Cute When You're Worried, Your Eyebrows Get All Scrunched Together.

I Tell Aspiring Writers That You Have To Find What You Must Write. When You Find It, You Will Know, Because The Subject Matter Won’t Let You Go. It’s Not Enough To Write Simply Because You Think It Would Be Neat To Be Published. You Have To Be Compelled To Write. If You’re Not, Nothing Else That You Do Matters.

I Turned And Found Dionysus Standing There, Still In His Black Suit. Walk With Me,” He Said. Where To?” I Asked Suspiciously. Just To The Campfire,” He Said. “i Was Beginning To Feel Better, So I Thought I Would Talk With You A Bit. You Always Manage To Annoy Me.” Uh, Thanks.

Frank: "i Wish I Was Adhd Or Dyslexic. All I Got Is Lactose Intolerance." Percy: "seriously?" Frank: "and I Love Ice Cream Too.

The Answer To Every Problem Involved Penguins

That Really Was Not Fun, Though. Well, The Hitting-her-with-a-stick Part, That Was Fun. But Crashing Into A Concrete Bear? Not Fun.

As For Me, I Did The Stupidest Thing In My Life, Which Is Saying A Lot. I Attacked The Titan Lord Atlas.

You Think It's Okay That We're Eating Rudolph?" "dude," Percy Said, "i Could Eat Prancer And Blitzen, Too. I'm Hungry.

Poseidon Held Out His Arms And Gave Me A Hug. I Realized, A Little Embarrassed, That I'd Never Actually Hugged My Dad Before. He Was Warm—like A Regular Human—and He Smelled Of A Salty Beach And Fresh Sea Air.

Seven Half-bloods Shall Answer The Call To Storm Or Fire The World Must Fall An Oath To Keep With A Final Breath And Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

That's What Happens When It Snows In Texas Lady. It. Freaking. Melts.

Hello George. Hey Martha (percy) Did You Bring Us A Rat? (george) George, Stop It!he's Busy! (martha) Too Busy For Rats? That's Just Sad. (george)

Sadie Kane Here. If You're Listening To This, Congratulations, You Survived Doomsday.

Congratulations

Um, Dues Ex Machina Anyone?

I Will Call Him Small Bob," Said Bob. "he Is A Good Monster." End Of Discussion.the Titan Hefted His Spear And They Continued Marching Into The Gloom.

While Leo Fussed Over His Helm Controls, Hazel And Frank Relayed The Story Of The Fish-centaurs And Their Training Camp. 'incredible,' Jason Said. 'these Are Really Good Brownies.' 'that's Your Only Comment?' Piper Demanded. He Looked Surprised. 'what? I Heard The Story. Fish-centaurs. Merpeople. Letter Of Intro To The Tiber River God. Got It. But These Brownies--' 'i Know,' Frank Said, His Mouth Full. 'try Them With Ester's Peach Preserves.' 'that,' Hazel Said, 'is Incredibly Disgusting.' 'pass Me The Jar, Man,' Jason Said. Hazel And Piper Exchanged A Look Of Total Exasperation. Boys.

Eat Bitter, Taste Sweet," Frank Said. "i Hate That Proverb." "but It's True. What Do They Call It These Days---no Pain, No Gain? Same Concept. You Do The Easy Thing, The Appealing Thing, The Peaceful Thing, Mostly It Turns Out Sour In The End. But If You Take The Hard Path---ah, That's How You Reap The Sweet Rewards. Duty. Sacrifice. They Mean Something.

What I Did Next Was So Impulsive And Dangerous I Should've Been Named Adhd Poster Child Of The Year.

Percy: I Thought I’d Lost My Mom Forever, And I Was Stuck On A Hill In A Thunderstorm Fighting This Huge Bull Dude While Grover Was Passed Out Wailing. “food!” It Was Terrifying, Man.

Please, Percy...change Your Clothes. You Smell Like You've Been Run Over By An Electric Horse.

Nico's Voice Was Like Broken Glass. "i- I Wasn't In Love With Annabeth." "you Were Jealous Of Her," Jason Said. "that's Why You Didn't Want To Be Around Her. Especially Why You Don't Want To Be Around... Him. It Makes Total Sense.

If You've Ever Tried Ba Travel, I Wouldn't Recommend It-- Unless Of Course You Fancy Turning Into A Phantom Chicken And Rafting Uncontrollably Through The Currents Of The Duat.

She Sacrificed Her Life To Make Things Right," Mitchell Grumbled. "she[silena Beuregard] Was A Hero

Make Things Right

You Speak Horse?" Hazel Asked. "speaking To Horses Is A Poseidon Thing," Percy Said. "uh, I Mean A Neptune Thing." "then You And Arion Should Get Along Fine," Hazel Said. "he's A Son Of Neptune Too." Percy Turned Pale. "excuse Me?

Go Chase A Donut. -percy Jackson.

The Giant Raised His Fist, And A Voice Cut Through The Dream. "leo!" Jason Was Shaking His Shoulder. "hey, Man, Why Are You Hugging Nike?" Leo's Eyes Fluttered Open. His Arms Were Wrapped Around The Human-sized Statue In Athena's Hand. He Must Have Been Thrashing In His Sleep. He Clung To The Victory Goddess Like He Used To Cling To His Pillow When He Had Nightmares As A Kid. (man, That Had Been So Embarrassing In The Foster Homes.) He Disentangled Himself And Sat Up, Rubbing His Face. "nothing," He Muttered. "we Were Just Cuddling. Um, What's Going On?

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