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I Stared At Her. Maybe I Wasn't The Brightest Guy In The World When It Came To Girls, But I Was Pretty Sure Rachel Had Just Dumped Me, Which Was Lame Considering We'd Never Even Been Together.

-Rick Riordan

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I Stared At Her.

Rick Riordan

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I Stared At Her. Maybe I Wasn't The Brightest Guy In The World When It Came To Girls, But I Was Pretty Sure Rachel Had Just Dumped Me, Which Was Lame Considering We'd Never Even Been Together.

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Sure, Sis!' Then He Raised His Hands In A Stop Everything Gesture. 'i Feel A Haiku Coming On.

For Once, I Didn't Look Back.

Safety From What? Who's After Me?" Oh, Nobody Much," Grover Said, Obviously Still Miffed About The Donkey Comment. "just The Lord Of The Dead And A Few Of His Blood-thirstiest Minions.

Relax," Chiron Told Me. "keep A Clear Head. And Remember, You May Be About To Prevent The Biggest War In Human History." "relax," I Said. "i'm Very Relaxed.

A Guy In Greek Armor Drew His Sword And Charged, But Slipped In A Puddle Of Pina Colada.

Run!” Piper Said. “we Are Running!” Jason Picked Up The Speed. “run Better!” Leo Shouted.

As For My Brothers,' Zeus Said, 'we Are Thankful -' He Cleared His Throat, Like The Words Were Hard To Get Out - 'erm, Thankful For The Aid Of Hades.' The Lord Of The Dead Nodded. He Had A Smug Look On His Face, But I Figure He'd Earned The Right. He Patted His Son Nico On The Shoulders, And Nico Looked Happier Than I'd Ever Seen Him.

See, Bad Things Happen To Me On Field Trips. Like At My Fifth-grade School, When We Went To The Saratoga Battlefield, I Had This Accident With A Revolutionary War Cannon. I Wasn't Aiming For The School Bus, But Of Course I Got Expelled Anyway. - Percy Jackson

I Like To Remind Teachers That Even Though They're All Overwhelmed And Overloaded, And It's Easy To Get Burned Out, It Really Is About The Kids. It Only Takes One Good Teacher To Change A Life - One Time, And One Book. That's What Happened When I Was A Kid. I Had One Good Teacher That Came In At The Right Time And Turned Me Into A Writer. So Never Lose Sight - You Could Be That Teacher.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

Stacy Schiff Is That Rare Combination: A First-rate Historian And A Brilliant Storyteller. Using A Wide Range Of Sources, She Spins Straw Into Gold, Conjuring The World Of Ptolemaic Egypt In Full Vibrant Color, And Returning The Voice Of One Of The Most Powerful, Fascinating, And Maligned Women In History. Cleopatra Is Impossible To Put Down.

Do You Think Me Cruel?” Neith Asked. “oh, Yes, I Collect The Pockets Of My Enemies.” “horrifying,” I Said. “i Didn’t Know Demons Had Pockets.” “oh, Yes.” Neith Glanced In Either Direction, Apparently To Be Sure No One Was Eavesdropping. “you Just Have To Know Where To Look.

Don't Get Starry-eyed About Somebody You Can't Have, Especially If It Blinds You To Somebody Who's Really Important.

Could I Just Use The Loo?” I Asked The Nice Officer. “no.” She Closed The Door In My Face, As If I Might Rig An Explosion In The Toilet. Honestly.

Leo Took Out A Pen And Autographed The Arm Of One Of The Nymphs. “narcissus Is A Loser! He’s So Weak, He Can’t Bench-press A Kleenex. He’s So Lame, When You Look Up Lame On Wikipedia, It’s Got A Picture Of Narcissus—only The Picture’s So Ugly, No One Ever Checks It Out.

Everybody Was Patting Nico On The Back, Complimenting Him On His Fighting. Even The Ares Kids Thought He Was Pretty Cool. Hey, Show Up With An Army Of Undead Warriors To Save The Day, And Suddenly You're Everybody's Best Friend.

Five Shall Go West To The Goddess In Chains, One Shall Be Lost In The Land Without Rain, The Bane Of Olympus Shows The Trail, Campers And Hunters Combined Prevail, The Titan's Curse Must One Withstand, And One Shall Perish By A Parent's Hand

Gods Have Great Power, But Only Humans Have Creativity, The Power To Change History.

I Gave Her A Smile That I Hoped Conveyed Something Like: Hey, You Know I’m On Your Side. Gods Are Such Jerks! But What Can You Do? Probably My Expression Actually Conveyed: It’s Not My Fault! Please Do Not Kill Me!

And Please God, Grant Me The Wisdom To Remember That I Am Writing For Children, Not Golden Stickers.

Met Them. Killed Them. Got The T-shirt.

There Were A Lot Of Answers I Might've Given, From "i Knew That" To "liar!" To "yeah Right, And I'm Zeus." - Percy, After Quintus Says That He Is Daedalus

Hold Up." Leo Stepped Forward, Wagging His Wii Controller. "did You Just Call My A Ship A Monstrosity? I Know You Didn't That.

I Will Call Him Small Bob," Said Bob. "he Is A Good Monster." End Of Discussion.the Titan Hefted His Spear And They Continued Marching Into The Gloom.

Are You The Cursed Kid Nemesis Mentioned?" Leo Asked. "but You're A Girl." "you're A Girl," Said The Girl. "excuse Me?

There’s Nothing Here,” Carter Said. “what Do You Want?” I Asked. “we’ve Got Wax, Some Toilet Papyrus, An Ugly Statue.

Set’s Storm Is Gathering,” Amos Said With A Twinkle In His Eyes. “shall We Drive Into Is?

I Knew Dionysus Must've Filled It Out, Because He Stubbornly Insisted On Getting My Name Wrong: Dear _______peter Johnson__________.

If I'm Dead," He Murmured. "why Does It Hurt So Much?

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We'd Just Released A Zebra In Las Vegas.

It Is True I Do Not Like Fire. But Leo Valdez's Flames Are Not Strong Enough To Trouble Me." Somewhere Behind Hazel, A Soft, Lyrical Voice Said, "what About My Flames, Old Friend?" "you," He Said From Percy's Mouth. "me," Hecate Agreed. "it Has Been Millennia Since I Fought At The Side Of A Demigod. What Do You Say? Shall We Play With Fire?

[tyson] Looked Him Over With That Massive Baby-brown Eye. “you Are Not Dead. I Like It When You Are Not Dead.” Ella Fluttered To The Ground And Began Preening Her Feathers. “ella Found A Dog,” She Announced. “a Large Dog. And A Cyclops.” Was She Blushing? Before Percy Could Decide, His Black Mastiff Pounced On Him, Knocking Percy To The Ground And Barking So Loudly That Even Arion Backed Up. “hey, Mrs. O'leary,” Percy Said. “yeah, I Love You, Too, Girl. Good Dog.” Hazel Squeaked. “you Have A Hellhound Named Mrs. O'leary?” “long Story.

P.s. You'll Have To Meet With Dan's Principal When You Get Back. He Got In Trouble For Doing Ninja Moves In Class. Don't Worry. This Happens All The Time.

They Chose The Olive" "they Must Really Like Olives" "forget It" "now If She Invented Pizza That I Can Understand" -percy To Annabeth In The Lightning Theif

"percy, You're A Brave Guy," She Said. "just Take The Compliment. I Swear, Is It So Hard?"

Just Because You Don't See Me Doesn't Mean I Wasn't There

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The Forge Looked Like A Steam-powered Locomotive Had Smashed Into The Greek Parthenon And They Had Fused Together.

The Pinecone Is A Fearsome Tool Of Destruction! -bacchus

Think About Isis,” Jaz Repeated. “and Sadie…there Is A Purpose. You Taught Us That. We Choose To Believe In Ma'at. We Create Order Out Of Chaos, Beauty And Meaning Out Of Ugly Randomness. That's What Egypt Is All About. That's Why Its Name, Its Ren, Has Endured For Millennia. Don't Despair. Otherwise Chaos Wins.

So What If They Were In Tartarus? So What If They Stood A Slim Chance Of Surviving? He Was So Glad That They Were Together, He Had The Ridiculous Urge To Smile.

The Answer To Every Problem Involved Penguins

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And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

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You Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare This Is Stupid.

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Annabeth Came Up To Me. She Was Dressed In Black Camouflage With Her Celestial Bronze Knife Strapped To Her Arm And Her Laptop Bag Slung Over Her Shoulder—ready For Stabbing Or Surfing The Internet, Whichever Came First.

Sounds Like A Plan Worthy Of Athena.

I Remembered The Myth About Andromeda And How She Had Been Chained To A Rock By Her Own Parents As A Sacrifice To A Sea Monster. Maybe She'd Gotten Too Many F's On Her Report Card Or Something.

Dreams Like Podcast. Downloading Truth In My Ears. They Tell Me Cool Stuff.

Her Name Badge Read: Hello! My Name Is Die, Demigod Scum!

Trantulus Casually Roasted A Marshmallow And Reached Out For It But The Marshmallow Commited Sucide And Dived Into The Flames.

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What The Creeping Crud Is That?" [percy] Demanded. "you’re Inside A Giant Glowing Chicken-man!" "hawk!" I Yelled. I Decided That If I Survived This Day I Would Have To Make Sure This Guy Never Met Sadie. They’d Probably Take Turns Insulting Me For The Rest Of Eternity.

And Yes,percy,of Course They Are Now In Our United States. Look At Your Symbol,the Eagle Of Zeus. Look At The Statue Of Prometheus In Rockefeller Center,the Greek Facades Of Our Government Builidings In Washington. I Defy You To Find Any American City Where The Olympians Are Not Proeminently Displayed, In Multiple Places. Like It Or Not-and Believe Me,plenty Of People Weren't Very Found Of Rome,either-america Is Now The Heart Of The Flame. It Is The Great Power Of The West.and So Olympus Is Here.and We Are Here.

I Had A Crush On Percy," Nico Spat. "that's The Truth. That's The Big Secret.

There Are Parties And Then There Are Huge Major Blowout Parties. And Then There Are Olympian Parties. If You Ever Get A Choice Go For The Olympian.

Stop!" Narcissus Got To His Feet. "this Is Not Right! This Person Is Obviously Not Awesome, So He Must Be..." He Struggled For The Right Words. It Had Probably Been A Long Time Since He'd Talked About Anything Other Than Himself. "he Must Be Tricking Us." Apparently Narcissus Wasn't Completely Stupid.

True, You're The Weakest Of Us All, But You're Still One Of The Five, And There Is Power In Collecting The Complete Set." He Paused, Then Grinned. "the Complete Set! That's Funny! Now Let's Consume Your Energy And Entomb Your Soul, Shall We?

More Minions!” He Shouted. “come To Me!” That Couldn’t Be Good. Another Round Of Giant Crocs And We’d Be Dead. Why Don’t We Get Minions? I Complained To Horus, But He Didn’t Answer.

It’s My Birthday, Horus Insisted. Wish Me Happy Birthday! “happy Birthday!” I Yelled. “now Shut Up!

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Piper Leaned Toward [jason], Her Caramel Braid Falling Over Her Shoulder. Her Multicolored Eyes Made It Hard For Him To Think Straight. “and Where Is This Place?” She Asked. “a . . . Uh, A Town Called Split.” “split.” She Smelled Really Good—like Blooming Honeysuckle. “um, Yeah.” Jason Wondered If Piper Was Working Some Sort Of Aphrodite Magic On Him—like Maybe Every Time He Mentioned Reyna’s Name, She Would Befuddle Him So Much He Couldn’t Think About Anything But Piper. He Supposed It Wasn’t The Worst Sort Of Revenge.

I Headed Towards The Mountain, Which Was An Almost Irresistible Beacon To My Storm Self. It Glowed With Heat, Pressure, And Turbulence—everything A Little Dust Devil Like Me Could Want.

Leo Scratched His Head. “well I Dunno About Enchiladas-“ “enceladus,” Piper Corrected. “whatever. But Old Potty Face Mentioned Another Name. Porpoise Fear, Or Something?” “porphyrion?” Piper Asked. ”he Was The Giant King, I Think.

The Telkine Growled And Muttered As He Tapped On His Keyboard. Maybe He Was Messaging His Friends On Uglyface.com

Frank Heard A Laugh Behind Him. He Glanced Back And Couldn't Believe What He Saw. Nico Di Angelo Was Actually Smiling. "that's More Like It," Nico Said. "let's Turn This Tide!

The Princess Andromeda?" "went Ka-boom.

A Tiny Dark Object Came Sailing Out Of The Window And Landed At The Giant's Feet. Polybotes Yelled, "grenade!" He Covered His Face. His Troops Hit The Ground. When The Thing Did Not Explode, Polybotes Bent Down Cautiously And Picked It Up. He Roared In Outrage. "a Ding Dong? You Dare Insult Me With A Ding Dong?" He Threw The Cake Back At The Shop, And It Vaporized In The Light.

Aphrodite,” [annabeth] Said. “venus?” Hazel Asked In Amazement. “mom,” Piper Said With No Enthusiasm. “girls!” The Goddess Spread Her Arms Like She Wanted A Group Hug. The Three Demigods Did Not Oblige. Hazel Backed Into A Palmetto Tree.

Looking Up In The Sky, I Saw The Stars Were Brighter Now. They Made A Pattern I Had Never Noticed Before- A Gleaming Constellation That Looked A Lot Like A Girls Figure- A Girl With A Bow, Running Across The Sky. "let The World Honor You, My Huntress. Live Forever In The Stars.

Hmm…” Jason Snapped His Fingers. “i Can Call A Friend For A Ride.” Percy Raised His Eyebrows. “oh, Yeah? Me Too. Let's See Whose Friend Gets Here First.

I'm A Teacher Still, But With A Much Larger Classroom.

Sadie Got Up And Kissed Amos On The Forehead. “leave It To Us, Uncle. I’ve Got A Plan.” “that,” I Said, “sounds Like Very Bad News.

Percy Blinked. “so Your Brother Is A Winged Horse. But You’re Also My Half Brother, Which Means All The Flying Horses In The World Are My…you Know What? Lets’ Forget It.

Even His Hair Was Bigger—a Massive Globe Of Blue-black Frizz So Thick That His Lobster-claw Horns Appeared To Be Drowning As They Tried To Swim Their Way To The Surface. “is That Why They Named You Aphros?” Leo Asked As They Glided Down The Path From The Cave. “because Of The Afro?” Aphros Scowled. “what Do You Mean?” “nothing,” Leo Said Quickly.

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Frank Held Up The Chinese Handcuffs. “keep It Simple.

I Thought Maybe He Was Seeing Another Tree. - Juniper

Do Yourself A Favor,' I Said. "forget It. Forget You Ever Saw Me." "forget That You Tried To Kill Me Too?" "yeah. That, Too." "but Who Are You?" "percy-" I Started To Say. Then The Skeletons Turned Around. "gotta Go!" "what Kind Of Name Is Percy Gotta-go?" I Bolted For The Exit.

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Young People Don't Always Do What They're Told, But If They Can Pull It Off And Do Something Wonderful, Sometimes They Escape Punishment.

He’d Learned Years Ago It Was Better Not To Dwell Too Much On Who Was Related To Whom On The Godly Side Of Things. After Tyson The Cyclops Adopted Him As A Brother, Percy Decided That That Was About As Far As He Wanted To Extend The Family.

You Spoke The Truth, Percy Jackson. You Are Nothing Like... Like Hercules. I Am Honored That You Carry This Sword.

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I (percy) Set Nico On Guard Duty With Beckendorf And The Stoll Brothers, Figuring He'd Be Safely Out Of The Way. ... "what's Happening?" Nico Demanded, Trying To Climb Up Next To Me.

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We Stepped Back And Looked At The King Of The Gods, Slumped In His Chair Snoring, And Cradling His Crook Like A Teddy Bear. I Placed The War Flail Across His Lap, Hoping It Might Make A Difference—maybe Complete His Powers Or Something. No Such Luck. "sick Weasels," Ra Muttered. "behold," Sadie Said Bitterly. "the Glorious Ra.

Glad You're Back To Normal. The Makeup And The Dress Were A Lot More Intimidating Than The Dagger." "get Going, Sparky, Before I Skewer You." "sparky?

Does Truth Have A Moral?

Despicable Creatures, Vultures: Without A Doubt The Most Disgusting Birds Ever. I Suppose They Served Their Purpose, But Did They Have To Be So Greasy And Ugly? Couldn't We Have Cute Fuzzy Rabbits That Cleaned Up Roadkill Instead?

Piper Gave Lit A Friendly Sorry-about-that Smile. Even With Her Hair Messed Up And Wearing Two-day-old Clothes, She Looked Extremely Cute, And Jason Felt A Little Jealous She Was Giving Lit That Smile.

It's Funny How Humans Can Wrap Their Mind Around Things And Fit Them Into Their Version Of Reality.

Oh My God, I Am So Awesome!" Leo Bellowed. "so Awesome!" Echo Yelled Back. "he Is Funny," A Nymph Ventured. "and Cute, In A Scrawny Way," Another Said. "scrawny?" Leo Asked. "baby I Invented Scrawny. Scrawny Is The New Sizzling Hot.

Tell You What," I Said. "after The Testing After The Demon Days, When Things Settle Down -" "things Won't Settle Down." "- I'm Going To Take You To The Mall." She Blinked. "the Mall? For What Reason?" "to Hang Out," I Said. "we'll Get Some Hamburgers. See A Movie." Zia Hesitated. "is This What You'd Call A 'date'?" My Expression Must Have Been Priceless, Because Zia Actually Cracked A Smile. "you Look Like A Cow Hit With A Shovel.

I Sailed On The Cold Air Currents Above The Rooftops Of Paris. I Could See The River, The Louvre Museum, The Gardens And Palaces. And A Mouse-yum. Hang On, Carter, I Thought. Not Hunting Mice.

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"you Are Okay?" He Asked. "not Eaten By Monsters?" "not Even A Little Bit." I Showed Him That I Still Had Both Arms And Both Legs, And Tyson Clapped Happily. "yay!" He Said. "now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!" I Hoped He Didn't Mean All At The Same Time, But I Told Him Absolutely, We'd Have A Lot Of Fun This Summer.

Set Screamed Something In Ancient Egyptian. I Was Fairly Sure It Wasn’t A Compliment. “i Will Rend Your Limbs From Their Sockets!” He Shouted. “i Will—” “die?” Carter Suggested.

Once She Was Gone, I Knelt Next To Annabeth And Felt Her Forehead. She Was Still Burning Up. "you're Cute When You're Worried," She Muttered. "your Eyebrows Get All Scrunched Together." "you Are Not Going To Die While I Owe You A Favor," I Said. "why Did You Take That Knife?" "you Would've Done The Same For Me." It Was True. I Guess We Both Knew It. Still, I Felt Like Somebody Was Poking My Heart With A Cold Metal Rod.

Lord Bacchus, Do You Remember Me? I Helped You With That Missing Leopard In Sonoma." Bacchus Scratched His Stubbly Chin. "ah... Yes. John Green." "jason Grace." "whatever," The God Said.

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Butch Hesitated. "annabeth's Okay. You Gotta Cut Her Some Slack. She Had A Vision Telling Her To Come Here, To Find A Guy With One Shoe. That Was Supposed To Be The Answer To Her Problem." "what Problem?" Piper Asked. "she's Been Looking For One Of Our Campers, Who's Been Missing Three Days," Butch Said. "she's Going Out Of Her Mind With Worry. She Hoped He'd Be Here." "who?" Jason Asked. "her Boyfriend," Butch Said, "a Guy Named Percy Jackson.

Grover And Nico Came Back From Their Walk, And Grover Helped Me Fix Up My Wounded Arm. "it's Green!" Nico Said With Delight.

But Beauty Is About Finding The Right Fit, The Most Natural Fit, To Be Perfect, You Have To Feel Perfect About Yourself --- Avoid Trying To Be Something You're Not. For A Goddess, That's Especially Hard. We Can Change So Easily. -aphrodite

You Might Not Think A Hippo Could Inspire Terror. Screaming “hippo!” Doesn’t Have The Same Impact As Screaming “shark!” But I’m Telling You—as The Egyptian Queen Careened To One Side, Its Paddle Wheel Lifting Completely Out Of The Water, And I Saw That Monster Emerge From The Deep, I Nearly Discovered The Hieroglyphs For Accident In My Pants.

Here's A Tip, Alyconeus. Next Time You Choose The Biggest State For Your Home, Don't Set Up Base In The Part That's Only 10 Miles Wide. Welcome To Canada, Idiot.

I Thought She'd Make Some Comment About The Bloodthirsty Gods Chasing Us, But When She Finally Found Her Voice, She Said, "that Boy Kissed You!" Leave It To Liz To Have Her Priorities Straight.

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

Laistry....i Can't Even Say That. What Would You Call Them In English?" "canadians.

You Teach Combat, I Guess.” Aphros Threw Up His Hands In Exasperation. “why Does Everyone Assume That?” Leo Glanced At The Massive Sword On The Fish-guy’s Back. “uh, I Don’t Know.

I’m The God Of Funerals. I Know Every Death Custom In The World—how To Die Properly, How To Prepare The Body And Soul For The Afterlife. I Live For Death.” “you Must Be Fun At Parties,” I Said.

Percy Pushed On His Side Furiously And The Crack Closed. His Eyes Blazed With Anger. She Hoped He Wasn’t Mad At Her, But If He Was She Couldn’t Blame Him. If It Keeps Him Going, She Thought, Then Let Him Be Angry.

You Have To Read A Lot So You Know What Good Writing Looks Like And You Get Inspired. You Have To Write A Lot Because It's Like A Sport - You Have To Practice. And, Also, You Have To Persevere. Don't Give Up. I Got Rejected On My First Book, Like, 14 Times, But I Just Kept Going. So Believe In Yourself And Don't Give Up.

Mussolini?” Leo Frowned. “wasn’t He Like Bffs With Hitler?

Good Job On Percy Jackson I Read All Of Them 8 Times And Have Listened 42 Times And Still Not Bored Thanks.

Ut Cum Spiritu Postrema Sacramentum Dejuremus," He Chanted. "et Hostes Ornamenta Addent Ad Ianuam Necem." "you Just...finished The Prophesy,"rachael Stammered. "-an Oath To Keep With A Final Breath/and Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death. How Did You-" "i Know Those Lines." Jason Winced And Put His Hands To His Temples. "i Don't Know How, But I Know That Prophecy." "in Latin, No Less," Drew Called Out. "handsome And Smart.

Oh, By The Way…” Jason Glanced At Percy. “i Resigned My Office, Gave Frank A Field Promotion To Praetor. Unless You Want To Contest That Ruling.” Percy Grinned. “no Argument Here.” “praetor?” Hazel Stared At Frank. He Shrugged Uncomfortably. “well… Yeah. I Know It Seems Weird.” She Tried To Throw Her Arms Around Him, Then Winced As She Remembered Her Busted Ribs. She Settled For Kissing Him. “it Seems Perfect.” Leo Clapped Frank On The Shoulder. “way To Go, Zhang. Now You Can Order Octavian To Fall On His Sword.

Um, Dad?" I Called "how's It Going?" "percy!" Annabeth Whispered. "we're In A Hurry!

Apparently, Word Of The Chicken Man Incident Hadn’t Spread Quite Yet.

Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. I Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right? Oh...yes. Good Point. Amphitrite - Incoming!

No, No, I Never Mess Around.

Identify The Moral Dilemma Driving The Novel. The Successful Novel Will Haunt A Reader Because It Deals With Some Ethical Or Moral Dilemma That Makes The Reader Wonder What He Or She Would Do In The Protagonist's Place.

I Am Never, Ever, Going To Make Things Easy For You, Seaweed Brain. Get Used To It.

Percy Is The Most Powerful Demigod I've Ever Met. No Offense To You Guys But It's True.

Juno: "the Heroes Of Olympus Must Unite! After Your Victory Over Kronos In Manhattan...well I Fear That Wounded Jupiter's Self-esteem." Percy: Cause I Was Right And He Was Wrong" Juno: "he Should Be Used To That After Being Married To Me So Long, But Alas.

To All My Librarian Friends, Champions Of Books, True Magicians In The House Of Life. Without You, This Writer Would Be Lost In The Dust.

Doubtful, But It Did Work... "annabeth?" Percy Said Again. "you're Planning Something. You've Got That I'm-planning-something Look." "i Don't Have An I'm-planning-something Look." "yeah, You Totally Do. Your Eyebrows Knit And Your Lips Press Together And ---" "do You Have A Pen?" She Asked Him. "you're Kidding, Right?" He Brought Out Riptide. "yes, But Can You Actually Write With It?" "i--i Don't Know," He Admitted. "never Tried.

You Dropped This," He Said, Totally Poker-faced.

Spontaneous Combustion Is A Form Of Harm, Mr. D," Chiron Put In.

Now Fight Me! For Today Thee House Of Hades Will Be Called The Saviors Of Olympus.

Maybe—just Maybe—sadie Had My Best Interests At Heart. (i Just Caught Her Making Faces At Me, So Maybe Not.)

He Nodded Nervously. ‘he Looks Like A Magician. I Hate Magicians. They Usually Have Rabbits.’ I Stared At Him. ‘you’re Scared Of Bunnies?’ ‘blah-hah-hah! They’re Big Bullies. Always Stealing Celery From Defenceless Satyrs.

Yes,' She Said. 'the Great Prophecy Has Begun.' Pandemonium Broke Out.

Well," I Said. "if You Need Me, I'll Be Outside, Playing With Sharp Objects.

Far Below I Heard Cacus Bellowing As Millions, Maybe Even Thousands Of Filthy Gallons Of Water Slammed Into Him. Meanwhile, Annabeth Alternately Shouted, Gagged, Hit Me, Called Me Endearing Pet Names Like, "idiot! Stupid - Dirty - Moron - " And Topped It All Off With, "kill You!

Where's The Glory In Repeating What Others Have Done?

Ptah? Son Of Ptooey? What Is He God Of Spitting? I Asked

The World Will Fall, The Gods Will Die, And I Will Never Achieve A Perfect Score On This Stupid Machine. -dionysus

Coach Hedge Grunted Like He Was Pleased To Have An Excuse. He Unclipped The Megaphone From His Belt And Continued Giving Directions, But His Voice Came Out Like Darth Vader's. The Kids Cracked Up. The Coach Tried Again, But This Time The Megaphone Blared: "the Cow Says Moo!

You'd Think He'd Ran Out Off Rocks," I Muttered

As We Rose Over The Rooftops I Caught My Breath-well, If You Can Catch Your Breath Underwater.

A Giant Vulture With A Girl Hanging From Its Feet Tends To Attract Attention.

He Was Slumped Over, Blood Trickling From The Side Of His Mouth. I Shook His Furry Hip, Thinking, No! Even If You Are Half Barnyard Animal, You're My Best Friend And I Don't Want You To Die!

Patterns Repeat Themselves In History

And If Someone Doesn’t Believe In Any Afterlife?” I Asked. Walt Gave Me A Sad Look. “then That’s What They Experience.

No More Lastrygonians.” Ella Fluttered Down And Landed Next To Them. “six Minus Six Is Zero. Spears Are Good For Subtraction, Yep.

I Found That Things Weren't Going Well Upstairs. Carter Was A Crumpled Heap Of Chicken Warrior On The Slope Of The Pyramid.

Earthshaker, Stormbreaker, Father Of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son Of The Sea God

I May Be Biased, But I Think Jackals Are Cute And Cuddly, Even If They Were Known For Digging Up Graves In Ancient Egypt.

Yay!' He Said. 'now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!

I Can't Summon Anymore Gas!" Leo Warned. The His Faced Turned Red. 'wow, That Came Out Wrong. I Mean The Burning Kind.

Tell Me When It's Over " Thalia Said. Her Eyes Were Shut Tight. The Statue Was Holding On To Us So We Couldn't Fall But Still Thalia Clutched His Arm Like It Was The Most Important Thing In The World. "everything's Fine " I Promised. "are... Are We Very High " I Looked Down. Below Us A Range Of Snowy Mountains Zipped By. I Stretched Out My Foot And Kicked Snow Off One Of The Peaks. "nah " I Said. "not That High.

Someday, You Will Make An Excellent Guardian Ba.” “thanks,” I Muttered. “can’t Wait To Be Poultry Forever.

When He Woke, Daylight Was Coming Through The Glass Floor, And A Boy's Voice Said, "oh...you Are In So Much Trouble.

Percy?" Annabeth Gripped His Arm. "oh, Bad," He Muttered. "bad. Bad." He Looked Across The Table At Frank And Hazel. "you Guys Remember Polybotes?" "the Giant Who Invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel Said. "the Anti-poseidon You Whacked In The Head With A Terminus Statue. Yes, I Think I Remember

Caught In A Bad Romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!" Nellie Wailed Along To The Xm Radio Blaring From The Enormous Speakers. "can I Uncover My Ears Now?" Dan Called From The Back, Where He Was Reclined Across The Leather Seat. "has Nellie Stopped Her Lady Gag Me Impression?

Even From Far Away, I Could See People Being Chased By Hellhounds, Burned At The Stake, Forced To Run Naked Through Cactus Patches Or Listen To Opera Music.

I Imagined Having That Bronzed Dragon In Our Fight Against The Titan Lord Kronos. His Monsters Would Think Twice About Attacking Camp If They Have To Face That Thing. On The Other Hand, If The Dragon Decided To Go Berserk Again And Attack The Campers-that Would Pretty Much Stink.

Percy Looked At His Friends. “i’m Getting Tired Of This Guy’s Shirt.

Fairness Does Not Mean Everyone Gets The Same. Fairness Means Everyone Gets What They Need.

Grover Started To Sniffle And I Figured If I Didn't Cheer Him Up He'd Either Start Bawling Or Chewing Up My Mattress. He Tends To Eat Household Objects Whenever He Gets Upset.

I Pictured My Mom, Alone In Our Little Apartment On The Upper East Side. I Tried To Remember The Smell Of Her Blue Waffles In The Kitchen. It Seemed So Far Away.

Percy: I Thought I’d Lost My Mom Forever, And I Was Stuck On A Hill In A Thunderstorm Fighting This Huge Bull Dude While Grover Was Passed Out Wailing. “food!” It Was Terrifying, Man.

Hermes Has Threatened Me With Slow Mail. Lousy Internet Service And A Horrible Stock Market If I Publish This Story. I Hope He Is Just Bluffing.

I Hoped They Couldn't Run Very Fast With Those Stubby Little Legs And Flippers, But They Waddled Along Pretty Well.

You Will Not Believe Me, But I Am Proud Of Your Strength. Sometimes. . . Sometimes The Only Way I Can Care For My Children Is To Keep My Distance.

So Why Are We Practicing This, Anyway?" Percy Asked. "do You Guys Spend A Lot Of Time Laying Siege To Fortified Cities?

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

Do You Have A Favorite Constalation, Percy?' I Was Still Kind Of Wondering About The Little Green Snakes He'd Shoved Into His Jogging Shorts, But I Said. 'uh, I Like Hercules.' 'why?' 'well... Because He Had Rotten Luck. Even Worse Than Mine. It Makes Me Feel Better." The Jogger Chuckled. 'not Because He Was Strong And Famouse And All That?' 'no.

The Dead Aren't Scary. They Are Just Sad.

The Most Dangerous Flaws Are Those Which Are Good In Moderation.

Eating Next To A Twenty-foot-long Crocodile Took Some Getting Used To, But Philip Was Well Trained. He Only Ate Bacon, Stray Waterfowl, And The Occasional Invading Monster.

A Half-blood Of The Eldest Gods, Shall Reach Sixteen Against All Odds And See The World In Endless Sleep The Hero's Soul, Cursed Blade Shall Reap A Single Choice Shall End His Days Olympus To Preserve Or Raze.

I've Been Reading Greek Mythology Since I Was A Kid. I Also Taught It When I Was A Sixth Grade Teacher, So I Knew A Lot Of Mythological Monsters Already. Sometimes I Still Use Books And Web Sites To Research, Though. Every Time I Research Greek Mythology, I Learn Something New!

I've Always Liked The Idea That Writing Is A Form Of Travel. And I Started My Writing Career As A Mystery Novelist For Adults.

"he Mentioned It!" One Of The Ghosts Whimpered.

When She Kissed Me, I Had The Feeling My Brain Was Melting Right Through My Body.

But Who Are You?" Percy—" I Started To Say. Then The Skeletons Turned Around. "gotta Go!" What Kind Of Name Is Percy Gotta-go?

Oh, God,” I Said. “sorry, Sorry. Do I Die Now?” --sadie To Zia

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