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I Got Ready For Bed And Crawled In. The Covers Were Comfortable And Warm, But The Pillow Was Just Too Weird. It Gave Me Neck Cramps, So I Put It On The Floor And Went To Sleep Without It. My First Big Mistake.

-Rick Riordan

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I Got Ready For

Rick Riordan

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I Got Ready For Bed And Crawled In. The Covers Were Comfortable And Warm, But The Pillow Was Just Too Weird. It Gave Me Neck Cramps, So I Put It On The Floor And Went To Sleep Without It. My First Big Mistake.

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Now Fight Me! For Today Thee House Of Hades Will Be Called The Saviors Of Olympus.

Who's The Other Kid In The Photo?' He Asked. 'the Sandy-haired Guy.' Annabeth's Expression Tightened. Touchy Subject. 'that's Luke,' She Said. 'he's Dead Now.

Even His Hair Was Bigger—a Massive Globe Of Blue-black Frizz So Thick That His Lobster-claw Horns Appeared To Be Drowning As They Tried To Swim Their Way To The Surface. “is That Why They Named You Aphros?” Leo Asked As They Glided Down The Path From The Cave. “because Of The Afro?” Aphros Scowled. “what Do You Mean?” “nothing,” Leo Said Quickly.

But Annabeth Just Smiled And Put Us In Jail. As She Was Heading Back To The Front Line, She Turned And Winked. "see You At The Fireworks?" She Didn't Even Wait For My Answer Before Darting Off Into The Woods. I Looked At Beckendorf. "did She Just...ask Me Out?" He Shrugged, Completely Disgusted. "who Knows With Girls? Give Me A Haywire Dragon, Any Day." So We Sat Together And Waited While The Girls Won The Game.

Knowing Too Much Of Your Future Is Never A Good Thing.

"boys," Annabeth Interrupted, "i'm Sure You Both Would've Been Wonderful At Killing Each Other. But Right Now You Need Some Rest."

Glad You're Back To Normal. The Makeup And The Dress Were A Lot More Intimidating Than The Dagger." "get Going, Sparky, Before I Skewer You." "sparky?

Only The Fire Of Life Can Melt The Chains Of Death.

Mr. D, Wearing His Leopard-skin Jogging Suit And Rummaging Through The Refrigerator. He Looked Up Lazily. "do You Mind?" Where's Chiron!" I Shouted. How Rude." Mr. D Took A Swig From A Jug Of Grape Juice. "is That How You Say Hello?" Hello," I Amended. "we're About To Die! Where's Chiron?

Always, Always Have A Plan

Go Chase A Donut. -percy Jackson.

Stop Smiling!” She Ordered. “i Can See You, Carter. Oh…and, Uh, Hullo, Walt.” The Pot Monster Made Squeaky Grinding Noises As It Stood Up Straight. One Clunky Arm Rose And Tried To Fix Sadie’s Nonexistent Hair. Leave It To Sadie To Be Self-conscious Around Boys, Even When She’s Made Out Of Pots And Duct Tape.

So Let Me Get This Straight,” Carter Said. “the Two Guys You Liked—one Who Was Dying And One Who Was Off-limits Because He’s A God—are Now One Guy, Who Isn’t Dying And Isn’t Off-limits. And You’re Complaining.

Butch Hesitated. "annabeth's Okay. You Gotta Cut Her Some Slack. She Had A Vision Telling Her To Come Here, To Find A Guy With One Shoe. That Was Supposed To Be The Answer To Her Problem." "what Problem?" Piper Asked. "she's Been Looking For One Of Our Campers, Who's Been Missing Three Days," Butch Said. "she's Going Out Of Her Mind With Worry. She Hoped He'd Be Here." "who?" Jason Asked. "her Boyfriend," Butch Said, "a Guy Named Percy Jackson.

Warning: The Following Is A Transcript Of A Digital Recording. In Certain Places, The Audio Quality Was Poor, So Some Words And Phrases Represent The Author's Best Guesses. Where Possible, Illustrations Of Important Symbols Mentioned In The Recording Have Been Added. Background Noises Such As Scuffling, Hitting, And Cursing By The Two Speakers Have Not Been Transcribed The Author Makes No Claims For The Authenticity Of The Recording. It Seems Impossible That The Two Young Narrators Are Telling The Truth, But You, The Reader, Must Decide For Yourself.

Background Noise

That's Me. Ancient History." [poseidon To Paul]

Ancient History

All Right Cupcakes Listen Up!

You Set Us Up!” “no! I Swear—” Her Face Fell. “mel. Mel Must’ve Told Him.” “right,” I Grumbled. “blame Mel.

We'll Have To Work On Your Bunny Phobia Later.

Am I A Troubled Kid? Yeah, You Could Say That.

'are You Guys Busy?' Juniper Asked. 'well,' I Said, 'we're In The Middle Of This Game Against A Bunch Of Monsters And We're Trying Not To Die.' 'we're Not Busy,' Annabeth Said.

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

Percy Looked At His Friends. "i'm Getting Tired Of This Guy's Shirt." "combat Time?" Piper Grabbed Her Horn Of Plenty. "i Hate Wonder Bread," Jason Said. Together, They Charged.

It’s Hard To Look In Charge When You’re Hunched Over Like Quasimodo.

I Sat Up In Bed. "what Did He Say?" Tyson Groaned, Still Half Asleep. He Was Lying Facedown On The Couch, His Feet So Far Over The Edge They Were In The Bathroom. "the Happy Man Said...bowling Practice?" I Hoped He Was Right, But Then There Was An Urgent Knock On The Suite's Interior Door. Annabeth Stuck Her Head In--her Blonde Hair In A Rat's Nest. "disembowling Practice?

The Baboon Is Driving,” I Noted. “should I Be Worried?

It's Useless To Lecture A Human.

Do Yourself A Favor,' I Said. "forget It. Forget You Ever Saw Me." "forget That You Tried To Kill Me Too?" "yeah. That, Too." "but Who Are You?" "percy-" I Started To Say. Then The Skeletons Turned Around. "gotta Go!" "what Kind Of Name Is Percy Gotta-go?" I Bolted For The Exit.

The Real World Is Where The Monsters Are.

Seriously, Who Has Monogrammed Pajamas?

Oh, Lord. I Was Beginning To Think Like Neith. Soon I'd Be Huddled In An Underground Bunker Eating Army Rations And Cackling As I Sewed Together The Pockets Of All The Boys Who'd Jilted Me.

But Beauty Is About Finding The Right Fit, The Most Natural Fit, To Be Perfect, You Have To Feel Perfect About Yourself --- Avoid Trying To Be Something You're Not. For A Goddess, That's Especially Hard. We Can Change So Easily. -aphrodite

You Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare This Is Stupid.

If Annabeth's Mother Was Athena, The Goddess Of Wisdom, Then Why Didn't Annabeth Know Better Than To Fall Off A Cliff?

More Minions!” He Shouted. “come To Me!” That Couldn’t Be Good. Another Round Of Giant Crocs And We’d Be Dead. Why Don’t We Get Minions? I Complained To Horus, But He Didn’t Answer.

Fairness Does Not Mean Everyone Gets The Same. Fairness Means Everyone Gets What They Need.

That Is Exactly How People Beat Chinese Handcuffs. They Turn Into Iguanas.

You Can Do This" I Murmured. "you Are My Brother. I Love You. All The Embarrassing Bits, All The Annoying Bits, Which I Imagine Is Most Of You--a Thousand Zias Might Run Away From You If They Knew The Truth. But I Won't. I'll Still Be Here.

Doughboy," I Said. "what Is This Scroll?" "a Spell Lost In Time!" He Pronounced. "ancient Words Of Tremendous Power!" "well?" I Demanded. "does It Tell How To Defeat Set?" "better! The Title Reads: The Book Of Summoning Fruit Bats!

When He Woke, Daylight Was Coming Through The Glass Floor, And A Boy's Voice Said, "oh...you Are In So Much Trouble.

That's Great. Except For The Fact That It's Completely Unimportant.

I Could Hear Hopefulness In Her Voice, But Also Doubt. She Was Waiting For Me To Admit The Obvious: I'd Forgotten. I Was Toast. I Was Boyfriend Roadkill. Just Because I Forgot, You Shouldn't Take That As A Sign I Didn't Care About Annabeth. Seriously, The Last Month With Her Had Been Awesome. I Was The Luckiest Demigod Ever. But A Special Dinner... When Had I Mentioned That? Maybe I'd Said It After Annabeth Kissed Me, Which Had Sort Of Sent Me Into A Fog. Maybe A Greek Gos Had Disguised Himself As Me As And Made Her That Promise As A Prank. Or Maybe I Was Just A Rotten Boyfriend.

Christmas In The Underworld Was Not My Idea. If I'd Known What Was Coming, I Would've Called In Sick. I Could've Avoided An Army Of Demons, A Fight With A Titan, And A Trick That Almost Got My Friends And Me Cast Into Eternal Darkness. But No, I Had To Take My Stupid English Exam.

Um ,sorry. I Cant Read The Last Line." "fish. Have You Stolen Any Fish From The Holy Lakes?" "i Lived In Kansas..so ..no

You're The Last Olympian,' I Said. 'and The Most Important.' And Why Is That, Percy Jackson?' Because Hope Survives Best At The Hearth,' I Said.

Stop!" He Yelled At The Others. "multigrain Fighting Is Not Allowed!

Are You The Cursed Kid Nemesis Mentioned?" Leo Asked. "but You're A Girl." "you're A Girl," Said The Girl. "excuse Me?

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

You Know How Teachers Tell You The Magic Word Is 'please'? That's Not True. The Magic Word Is 'puke'. It Will Get You Out Of Class Faster Than Anything Else.

Destroy Them Later?" Cal Offered, Which Was Probably As Close To Friendly As He Ever Got.

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We Tend To Think Of Divorced Or Complicated Families As A Modern Invention, And That Is Not At All True. You Only Have To Read The Greek Myths To See Broken Homes, Widows, Divorce, Stepchildren, Children Trying To Get Along With New Parents.

Part Of Their Problem Was Percy. He Fought Like A Demon, Whirling Through The Defender's Ranks In A Completely Unorthodox Style, Rolling Under Their Feet, Slashing With His Sword Instead Of Stabbing Like A Roman Would, Whacking Campers With The Flat Of His Blade, And Generally Causing Mass Panic.

Her Hair Is Smoldering. Her Face Was Smudged With Soot. She Had A Cut On Her Arms, Her Dress Was Torn, And She Was Missing A Boot. Beautiful.

Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. I Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right? Oh...yes. Good Point. Amphitrite - Incoming!

Before Keto Could Notice, Hedge Pointed Towards The Top Of The Amphitheater. It Looked Like He Might Be Screaming, Gods Of Olympus, What Is That? Keto Turned. Coach Hedge Promptly Took Off His Fake Foot And Ninja-kicked Her In The Back Of The Head With His Goat Hoof.

The Weight Of The Sky Dropped Onto Atlas's Back, Almost Smashing Him Flat Until He Managed To Get To His Knees, Struggling To Get Out From Under The Crushing Weight Of The Sky. But It Was Too Late. "noooooo!" He Bellowed So Hard It Shook The Mountain. "not Again!" Atlas Was Trapped Under His Old Burden.

Do You Think Me Cruel?” Neith Asked. “oh, Yes, I Collect The Pockets Of My Enemies.” “horrifying,” I Said. “i Didn’t Know Demons Had Pockets.” “oh, Yes.” Neith Glanced In Either Direction, Apparently To Be Sure No One Was Eavesdropping. “you Just Have To Know Where To Look.

How Do We Beat Her? I Asked. You Pretty Much Don’t, Horus Said. She Is The Incarnation Of The Sun’s Wrath. Back In The Day When Ra Was Active, She Would Have Been Much More Impressive, But Still. .she’s Unstoppable. A Born Killer. A Slaying Machine— “okay, I Get It!” I Yelled.

I Thought She'd Make Some Comment About The Bloodthirsty Gods Chasing Us, But When She Finally Found Her Voice, She Said, "that Boy Kissed You!" Leave It To Liz To Have Her Priorities Straight.

They Send A Person Who Can Never Stay," She Whispered. "who Can Never Accept My Offer Of Companionship For More Than A Little While. They Send Me A Hero I Can't Help ... Just The Sort Of Person I Can't Help Falling In Love With." ... As I Sailed Into The Lake I Realized The Fates Really Were Cruel. They Sent Calypso Someone She Couldn't Help But Love. But It Worked Both Ways. For The Rest Of My Life I Would Be Thinking About Her. She Would Always Be My Biggest What If.

Falling In Love

Lacy Had Warned Me About Drew The First Day Of School. Apparently The Two Of Them Had Gone To Some Summer Camp Together––blah, Blah, I Didn't Really Listen To Teh Details––and Drew Had Been Just As Much A Tyrant There. ~sadie Kane, About Lacy And Drew Of Aphrodite Cabin.

Her Perfume Was A Mixture Of Roses And Tear Gas.

I Thought About All The Things I Was Suddenly Able To Do—like Fight With A Sword And Summon A Magical Shell Of Armor. Those Were Not Things I Covered In Home School.

Oh No." I Said Panic Rising In My Chest. "no, No, No, Somebody Get A Can Opener. I've Got A God In My Head!!

The End Of The World Started When A Pegasus Landed On The Hood Of My Car

The Sign Read Mouse Pass Gas Frank: "that's Wrong

If I've Got The Powers Of A God, Then Why Am I So..." "lame?" Sadie Suggested. "shut Up," I Said.

He Pinched The Name Tag And Ran His Fingers Under The Letters. "can You Read This, Mate? It Says C-h-a-r-o-n. Say It With Me: Care-on." "charon." "amazing! Now: Mr. Charon." "mr. Charon." "well Done.

It Wasn't Exactly Like Talking, But It Went Something Like This: Could You Give Us A Ride North, Percy Asked, Like As Close To Portland As Possible? Eat Seals, The Whale Responded. Are You Seals? No, Percy Admitted. I've Got A Man Satchel Full Of Macrobiotic Beef Jerky, Though. The Whale Shuddered. Promise Not To Feed Me This, And I Will Take You North. Deal.

Leo Had Recently Discovered How To Change The Display, Like The Times Square Jumbotron,so Now The Banner Read: Merry Christmas! All Your Presents Belong To Leo!

Merry Christmas

As We Rose Over The Rooftops I Caught My Breath-well, If You Can Catch Your Breath Underwater.

Six Minus Six Is Zero. Spears Are Good For Subtraction Ella Said

I Will Not Have A Sea Creature Destroyed, If I Can Help It. And I Can Help It.

You Think It's Okay That We're Eating Rudolph?" "dude," Percy Said, "i Could Eat Prancer And Blitzen, Too. I'm Hungry.

My Understanding Of Magic Is Fairly Straightforward. Hit Enemies With A Sword Until They’re Dead. If They Rise Again, Hit Them Again. Repeat As Necessary. It Worked Against Set.

Vulcan?" Leo Demanded. "i Don't Even Like Star Trek!

And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

Well," Said Apollo With A Brave Smile. "you Were Right, My Dear. You Had Everything Under Control! Let's Go See If We Boiled Anyone Important, Shall We?

This Is Annabeth,” Jason Said. “uh, Normally She Doesn't Judo-flip People.

Let The World Honor You, My Huntress. Live Forever In The Stars.

Percy, We're Going To Polyphemus' Island! Polyphemus Is An S-i-k...a C-y-k..." She Stamped Her Foot In Frustration. As Smart As She Was, Annabeth Was Dyslexic, Too. We Could've Been There All Night While She Tried To Spell Cyclops. "you Know What I Mean!

Oh, God,” I Said. “sorry, Sorry. Do I Die Now?” --sadie To Zia

He Had A Note Excusing Him From Pe For The Rest Of His Life Because He Had Some Kind Of Muscular Disease In His Legs. He Walked Funny, Like Every Step Hurt Him, But Don't Let That Fool You. You Should've Seen Him Run When It Was Enchilada Day In The Cafeteria.

Armed With My Sword And Wand, I Was All Set For A Stroll Through The Swamp To Look For A Hungry Monster. Oh, Joy!

Leo: "so...giants Who Can Throw Mountains. Friendly Wolves That Will Eat Us If We Show Weakness. Evil Espresso Drinks. Gotcha. Maybe This Isn't The Best Time To Bring Up My Psycho Babysitter." Piper: "is That Another Joke?

My Mother Was Gone. The Whole World Should Be Black And Cold. Nothing Should Look Beautiful.

The Real Story Of The Fleece: There Were These Two Children Of Zeus, Cadmus And Europa, Okay? They Were About To Get Offered Up As Human Sacrifices, When They Prayed To Zeus To Save Them. So Zeus Sent This Magical Flying Ram With Golden Wool, Which Picked Them Up In Greece And Carried Them All The Way To Colchis In Asia Minor. Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important." "it Was Probably Important To Her.

Frank Zhang! I, Jason Grace, Praetor Of The Twelfth Legion Fulminata, Give You My Final Order: I Resign My Post And Give You Emergency Field Promotion To Praetor, With The Full Powers Of That Rank. Take Command Of This Legion!

Frank Had Decided That Whatever His Fate Was, He Wouldn’t Worry About It. He Would Just Do The Best He Could To Help His Friends.

Percy Jackson," Hermes Said, "because You Have Taken On The Curse Of Achilles, I Must Spare You. You Are In The Hands Of The Fates Now. But You Will Never Speak To Me Like That Again. You Have No Idea How Much I Have Sacrificed, How Much—" His Voice Broke, And He Shrank Back To Human Size. "my Son, My Greatest Pride . . . My Poor May . . ." He Sounded So Devastated I Didn't Know What To Say. One Minute He Was Ready To Vaporize Us. Now He Looked Like He Needed A Hug.

I Stared At Him (dionysus). "you're...you're Married? But I Thought You Got In Trouble For Chasing A Wood Nymph-

Now, Leave." All Three Boys Slumped Forward. Percy Fell Face-first Into His Pizza. "percy!" Annabeth Grabbed Him.

Zia," I Said, "that's A Goddess. She Defeated Bast. What Chance Do You Have?" Zia Held Up Her Staff And The Carved Lion's Head Burst Into Flames - A Small Red Fireball So Bright, It Lit The Entire Room. "i Am A Scribe In The House Of Life, Sadie Kane. I Am Trained To Fight Gods.

Whoa, Boy, He Told Himself. Golden Rule For Demigods: Thou Shalt Not Hokey Pokey With Psychos.

I Was Five Steps Away When He Called, "perseus." I Turned. There Was A Different Light In His Eyes, A Fiery Kind Of Pride. "you Did Well, Perseus. Do Not Misunderstand Me. Whatever Else You Do, Know That You Are Mine. You Are A True Son Of The Sea God.

Hey, Moose!” I Screamed. The Set Animal Locked Its Glowing Eyes One Me. Well Done! Horus Said. Now We’ll Both Die With Honor! Shut Up, I Thought.

No!" Leo Yelled. "uhhh," Nico Groaned From The Floor. "piper!" Jason Cried. "monkey!" Frank Yelled. "not Monkeys," Hazel Grumbled. "i Think Those Are Dwarfs." "stealing My Stuff!" Leo Yelled, And Ran For The Stairs.

I Survive All Those Battles," She Growled, "and I Get Defeated By A Stupid Chunk Of Rock!

Being Turned Into A Lizard Can Really Mess Up Your Day.

Agh-uhh!” The Baboon Grunted. He Turned And Waddled Up The Stairs. Unfortunately, The Lakers Jersey Didn’t Completely Cover His Multicolored Rear.

He Touched The Screen As If Trying To Reach Through With His Hand. "you're A Wonderful Young Lady. I Don't Tell You That Often Enough. You Remind Me So Much Of Your Mother. She'd Be Proud. And Grandpa Tom" --he Chuckled-- "he Always Said You'd Be The Most Powerful Voice In Our Family. You're Going To Outshine Me Some Day, You Know. They're Going To Remember Me As Piper Mclean's Father, And That's The Best Legacy I Can Imagine.

I Don't Feel That Way Anymore," Nico Muttered. "i Mean... I Gave Up On Percy. I Was Young And Impressionable, And I- I Don't..." His Voice Cracked, And Jason Could Tell The Guy Was About To Get Teary-eyed. Whether Nico Had Really Given Up On Percy Or Not, Jason Couldn't Imagine What It Had Been Like For Nico All Those Years, Keeping A Secret That Would've Been Unthinkable To Share In The 1940s, Denying Who He Was, Feeling Completely Alone- Even More Isolated Than Other Demigods. "nico," He Said Gently, "i've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

The Thing About Plummetting Downhill At Fifty Miles An Hour On A Snack Platter - If You Realize It's A Bad Idea When You're Halfway Down, It's Too Late.

Seriously, Who Curses You With Their Dying Breath And Says, I Hope Your Eye Twitches!

My Only Thought Was To Keep Him Away From Annabeth.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

He Dropped The Rest Of The Cokes Into The Grave And Pulled Out A White Paper Bag Decorated With Cartoons. I Hadn’t Seen One In Years, But I Recognized It — A Mcdonald’s Happy Meal. He Turned It Upside Down And Shook The Fries And Hamburger Into The Grave. “in My Day, We Used Animal Blood,” The Ghost Mumbled. “it’s Perfectly Good Enough. They Can’t Taste The Difference.” “i Will Treat Them With Respect,” Nico Said. “at Least Let Me Keep The Toy,” The Ghost Said.

Can’t This Thing Go Any Faster?” Thalia Demanded. Zoe Glared At Her. “i Cannot Control Traffic.” You Both Sound Like My Mother,” I Said. Shut Up!” They Both Said In Union.

The House Is In The House" Chapter 38

I Got The Feeling Poseidon Really Didn't Know What To Think Of Me. He Didn't Know Whether He Was Happy To Have Me As A Son Or Not. In A Strange Way, I Was Glad That Poseidon Was So Distant. If He'd Tried To Apologize, Or Told Me He Love Me, Or Even Smiled. It Would've Felt Fake. Like Human Dad, Making Some Lame Excuse For Not Being Around. I Could Live With That. After All, I Wasn't Sure About Him Yet, Either.

Nico Drank From The Chalice, Then Offered It To Jason. "you Asked Me About Trust, And Taking A Risk? Well, Here You Go, Son Of Jupiter. How Much Do You Trust Me?" Frank Wasn't Sure What Nico Was Talking About, But Jason Didn't Hesitate. He Took The Cup And Drank.

And Yes,percy,of Course They Are Now In Our United States. Look At Your Symbol,the Eagle Of Zeus. Look At The Statue Of Prometheus In Rockefeller Center,the Greek Facades Of Our Government Builidings In Washington. I Defy You To Find Any American City Where The Olympians Are Not Proeminently Displayed, In Multiple Places. Like It Or Not-and Believe Me,plenty Of People Weren't Very Found Of Rome,either-america Is Now The Heart Of The Flame. It Is The Great Power Of The West.and So Olympus Is Here.and We Are Here.

Yeah, Well. I Don’t Try To Be Awesome. It Just Comes Natural.

Would Grandmother Scold Him? Would She Say, “frank! Thank The Gods, You've Come. I'm Surrounded By Monsters.” More Likely She'd Scold Him, Or Mistake Them For Intruders And Chase Them Off With A Frying Pan.

Fish Ponies! I Put Them On The Ceiling!" -tyson

Annabeth Laced Her Fingers Through His. In The Light Of His Bronze Sword, Her Face Was Beautiful. 'we're Together,' She Reminded Him. 'we'll Get Through This.

All Right, Cupcakes. You Are About To See The Grand Canyon. Try Not To Break It. The Skywalk Can Hold The Weight Of Seventy Jumbo Jets, To You Featherweights Should Be Safe Out There. If Possible, Try To Avoid Pushing Each Other Over The Edge, As That Would Cause Me Extra Paperwork.

Pushing Each Other

I Sat Up And The Blankets Fell Away.i Looked Down And Found I Was Wearing Pokemon Pajamas. "sadie,"i Said,"i'm Going To Kill You." She Batted Her Eyes Innocently."but The Street Merchant Gave Us A Very Good Deal On Those.walt Said They Would Fit You." Walt Raised His Hand."don't Blame Me,man.i Tried To Stick Up For You." Bes Snorted,then Did A Pretty Good Imitation Of Walt's Voice:"at Least Get The Extra-large Ones With Pikachu.

It Doesn't Matter! From Waist Down, My Best Friend Is A Donkey.

Narcissus Turned And Scowled At Leo. “who Are You?” “i’m The Super-sized Mcshizzle, Man!” Leo Said. “i’m Leo Valdez, Bad Boy Supreme. And The Ladies Love A Bad Boy.

Americans Are An Odd Bunch, But They Grow On You.

Rachel: You're A Half-blood, Too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just Announce It To The World, How About? Rachel: Okay. Hey, Everybody! These Two Aren't Human! They're Half Greek God!...they Don't Seem To Care.

We Were Absolutely Destined To Meet Your Hot Sister

Either The Kid Was Naturally Hyper Or He Was Hopped Up On Enough Caffeine To Give A Heart Attack To A Water Buffalo.

No, No, I Never Mess Around.

I Concentrated Hard And Snapped My Fingers. "you Don't See The Sword," I Told The Girl. "it's Just A Ballpoint Pen." She Blinked. "um . . . No. It's A Sword, Weirdo.

You Know How Hard It Is To Feel Like An Extreme Falcon-headed Combat Machine When Somebody Calls You "chicken Man"?

If I Had My Way," Dionysus Said, "i Would Cause Your Molecules To Erupt In Flames. We'd Sweep Up The Ashes And Be Done With A Lot Of Trouble. But Chiron Seems To Feel This Would Be Against My Mission At This Cursed Camp: To Keep You Little Brats Safe From Harm." "spontaneous Combustion Is A Form Of Harm, Mr. D," Chiron Put In. "nonsense," Dionysus Said. "boy Wouldn't Feel A Thing. Nevertheless, I've Agreed To Restrain Myself. I'm Thinking Of Turning You Into A Dolphin Instead, Sending You Back To Your Father.

Contrary To What You Might Think, I Don't Spend Every Waking Hour Thinking About Boys." "just Most Waking Hours?

Coach Hedge Shouted, 'let The Movie Star Go, You Big Ugly Cupcake! Or I'm Gonna Plant My Hoof Right Up Your...

Great,” Percy Said. “i Always Wanted To Be Glue.

Just His Luck He Was Related To This Grubby Old Dude. He Hoped All Sons Of Neptune Didn't Share The Same Fate. First, You Start Carrying A Man Satchel. Next Thing You Know, You're Running Around In A Bathrobe And Pink Bunny Slippers, Chasing Chickens With A Weed Whacker.

Far, Far Below, Red Liquid Bubbled. Blood? Lava? Evil Ketchup? None Of The Posibilities Were Good.

Travis: The Aphrodite Kids Were Ripping Each Other’s Clothes And Throwing Lipstick And Jewellery. It Was Like A Rabid Herd Of Wild Bratz.

You Cannot Imprison Me!" He Bellowed. "i Am Hyperion! I Am-" The Bark Closed Over His Face. Grover Took His Pipes From His Mouth. "you Are A Very Nice Maple Tree.

I've Been Waiting A Long Time For A Quest, Seaweed Brain," She Said. "athena Is No Fan Of Poseidon, But If You're Going To Save The World, I'm The Best Person To Keep You From Messing Up.

And Of Course I'm In The Press All The Time. So Many Books Have Been Written About Me; Into Thin Air, Up In The Air,gone With The Wind-

You Will Not Believe Me, But I Am Proud Of Your Strength. Sometimes. . . Sometimes The Only Way I Can Care For My Children Is To Keep My Distance.

Dakota's Head Was Stuck In His Toga. He Staggered Around Olike A Kool-aid-stained Ghost. "um," Percy Said, "should I Wear My Bed Sheets?

Have You Ever Noticed How Parents Can Go From The Most Wonderful People In The World To Totally Embarrassing In Three Seconds?

Then Something Occurred To Me. "get Closer," I Told Blackjack. He Whinnied In Protest. "just Within Shouting Distance," I Said. "i Need To Talk To The Statue." Now I'm Sure You've Lost It, Boss, Blackjack Said

I'm Dylan. I'm So Cool. I Want To Date Myself, But I Don't Know How! You Want To Date Me Instead? You're So Lucky!

We’re On The Moon,” Sadie Murmured. “el Paso, Texas,” Bast Corrected.

The Store Had A Hand-painted Sign The Read: Moose Pass Gas. "that's Just Wrong," Frank Said.

A Battle Can Be Won Before It's Ever Fought By Choosing The Right Ground.

Safety From What? Who's After Me?" Oh, Nobody Much," Grover Said, Obviously Still Miffed About The Donkey Comment. "just The Lord Of The Dead And A Few Of His Blood-thirstiest Minions.

Annabeth: Hey, Seaweed Brain. Percy: Will You Stop Calling Me That? Annabeth: You Know You Love It.

I Stick Closely To The Structure Of The Myths. I May Have Some Fun With The Mythology By Changing The Environment To Modern-day, But The Structure Of The Myths, The Monsters, The Relationships Of The Gods - None Of That Is Made Up.

I Felt Like One Of Apollo's Sacred Cows- Slow, Dumb, And Bright Red.

For Thousands Of Years, You Humans Have Been Throwing In Everything As You Come Across--hopes, Dreams, Wishes That Never Came True. Irresponsible Waste Management, If You Ask Me.

Dejardins Was So Stunned, He Momentarily Forgot How To Speak English. "ce N'est Pas Possible. On Ne Pourrait Pas-

The More You Know, The More You Try To Change Them, And That Can Be Disastrous.

Wow. When He Started Looking Back On The War With Kronos As The Good Old Days--that Was Sad.

Are You Suggesting That The Gods Have Trouble Acting Together, Young Lady?" Dionysus Asked. Yes, Lord Dionysus." Mr. D Nodded. "just Checking. You're Right, Of Course. Carry On.

He’d Learned Years Ago It Was Better Not To Dwell Too Much On Who Was Related To Whom On The Godly Side Of Things. After Tyson The Cyclops Adopted Him As A Brother, Percy Decided That That Was About As Far As He Wanted To Extend The Family.

A Little Slower, Sweetheart. Cape Cod Is Freezing Over.

No," Frank Said. "i'm Only A Centurion." Jason Cursed In Latin. "he Means He Can't Control A Whole Legion. He's Not Of High Enough Rank." Nico Swung Back His Black Sword At Another Gryphon. "well, Then, Promote Him!

I Pulled Out Riptide.

Set Screamed Something In Ancient Egyptian. I Was Fairly Sure It Wasn’t A Compliment. “i Will Rend Your Limbs From Their Sockets!” He Shouted. “i Will—” “die?” Carter Suggested.

Hades Raised An Eyebrow. When He Sat Forward In His Throne, Shadowy Faces Appeared In The Folds Of His Black Robes, Faces Of Torment,as If The Garment Was Stitched Of Trapped Souls From The Fields Of Punishment, Trying To Get Out. The Adhd Part Of Me Wondered, Off-task, Whether The Rest Of His Clothes Were Made The Same Way. What Horrible Things Would You Have To Do In Your Life To Get Woven Into Hades' Underwear?

Sorry We’re Late,” Jason Said. “is This The Guy Who Needs Killing?

I Thought Maybe He Was Seeing Another Tree. - Juniper

What’s The Best Part Of Being In Hermes Cabin? Connor: You Are Never Lonely. I Mean Seriously, New Kids Are Always Coming In. So You Always Have Someone To Talk To. Travis: Or Prank. Connor: Or Pickpocket. One Big Happy Family.

Chiron, I Don't Think The Attic Is The Proper Place For Our New Oracle, Do You?" "no, Indeed." Chiron Looked A Lot Better Now That Apollo Had Worked Some Medical Magic On Him. "rachel May Use A Guest Room In The Big House For Now, Until We Give The Matter More Thought." "i'm Thinking A Cave In The Hills," Apollo Mused. "with Torches And A Big Purple Curtain Over The Entrance . . . Really Mysterious. But Inside, A Totally Decked-out Pad With A Game Room And One Of Those Home Theater Systems.

That's Because We Keep Weapons Int The Attic, Silly Boy. Do You Think This Is The First Time Monsters Have Attacked Our Family?" "weapons," Frank Grumbled. "right. I've Never Handled Weapons Before." Grandmother's Nostrils Flared. "was That Sarcasm, Fai Zhang?" "yes, Grandmother." "good. There May Be Hope For You Yet.

I Frowned. “you Mean Set’s Got, Like, Other Evil Gods On Speed Dial?

Lord Bacchus, Do You Remember Me? I Helped You With That Missing Leopard In Sonoma." Bacchus Scratched His Stubbly Chin. "ah... Yes. John Green." "jason Grace." "whatever," The God Said.

She Tied Her Blond Hair Back With A Strip Of Denim Torn From Her Pants Leg, And In The Fiery Light Of The River, Her Grey Eyes Flickered. Despite Being Beat-up, Sooty, And Dressed Like A Homeless Person, She Looked Great To Percy. So What If They Were In Tartarus? So What If They Stood A Slim Chance Of Surviving? He Was So Glad That They Were Together, He Had The Ridiculous Urge To Smile.

Hello!” The Girl In The Blood-red Dress Beamed At Leo. “are You Dionysus?” There Was Only One Answer To That. “yes!” Leo Yelped. “absolutely. I Am Dionysus.

There’s Nothing Here,” Carter Said. “what Do You Want?” I Asked. “we’ve Got Wax, Some Toilet Papyrus, An Ugly Statue.

You Know What Would Help This Boy?" Demeter Mused. "farming." Persephone Rolled Her Eyes. "mother-" "six Months Behind A Plow. Excellent Character Building.

You Mix Greek And Roman, You Know What You Get? You Get Bam!

Bessie?” I Looked Down At The Bull Serpent. “but… He’s Too Cute. He Couldn’t Destroy The World.” -percy Jackson

The Dead See What They Believe They Will See. So Do The Living. That Is The Secret.

I Guessed His Name Was Face Of Horror. I Wondered How Long It Had Taken His Mom To Think Of That. Bob? No. Sam? No. How About Face Of Horror?

If You Were A God, How Would You Like Being Called A Myth, An Old Story To Explain Lightning? What If I Told You, Perseus Jackson, That Someday People Would Call You A Myth, Just Created To Explain How Little Boys Can Get Over Losing Their Mothers?

It's Like I Was Connected To The Plumping System.

I'm Gonna Be Percy Jackson When I Grow Up," She Told Hazel Solemnly. Hazel Smiled And Ruffled Her Hair. "that's A Good Thing To Be, Julia." "although," Frank Said. "frank Zhang Would Be Good Too.

Frank Held Up The Chinese Handcuffs. “keep It Simple.

Grover And Nico Came Back From Their Walk, And Grover Helped Me Fix Up My Wounded Arm. "it's Green!" Nico Said With Delight.

Jason Muttered "and I Saw Something...really Terrible." "that Was Hera," Thalia Grumbled, "her Majesty, The Loose Cannon." "that's It, Thalia Grace," Said The Goddess. "i Will Turn You Into And Aardvark, So Help Me-" "stop It, You Two," Piper Said. Amazingly, They Both Shut Up.

It's All Still About Having A Good Story. You Have To Have A Good Story As Your Anchor, As Your Main Focus. So For Me, Personally, I Just Like To Concentrate On Writing The Best Book I Can, And If There's Other Stuff That Goes Along With It, That's Awesome, As Long As The Story Is Central.

She (annabeth) Put Her Hand On My Spine, And My Skin Tingled. I (percy) Moved Her Fingers To The One Spot That Grounded Me To My Mortal Life. A Thousand Volts Of Electricity Seemed To Arc Through My Body.

Now, I Figured That The Built-up Gas In Most Boys' Locker Rooms Was Enough To Cause An Explosion, So I Wasn't Surprised When The Flaming Dodgeball Ignited A Huge Whooooooom!

The Whole Campfire Idea Freaked Piper Out. It Made Her Think Of That Huge Purple Bonfire In The Dreams, And Her Father Tied To A Stake. What She Got Instead Was Almost As Terrifying: A Sing-along.

I Can See The Stars Again M'lady.

If You're Heading Downtown From Centeral Park, My Advice Is To Take The Subway. Flying Pigs Are Faster But Way More Dangerous

The Best People Have The Rottenest Luck

The Next Microsecond, As The Water Erupted Around Me, I Realized Too Late That I Should've Brought The Entire Twenty-first Nome To Help Me.

Jason Scratched His Head. "you Named Him Festus? You Know That In Latin, ‘festus’ Means ‘happy’? You Want Us To Ride Off To Save The World On Happy The Dragon?

When He Pulled Away, He Smiled Kindly At Me. I Felt So Good, I'll Admit I Teared Up A Little. I Guess Until That Moment I Hadn't Allowed Myself To Realize Just How Terrified I Had Been The Last Few Days. "dad-" "shhh," He Said. "no Hero Is Above Fear, Percy. And You Have Risen Above Every Hero. Not Even Hercules-

Leo Could Run Pretty Fast When Someone Was Trying To Kill Him. Sadly, He’d Had A Lot Of Practice.

Her Secret Fear? Maybe She Didn't Tried Hard Enough.

Behold!" Percy Shouted. "the God's Chosen Beverage. Tremble Before The Horror Of Diet Coke!

Annabeth Pressed Her Lips To Percy’s Ear. “i Love You.” She Wasn’t Sure He Could Hear Her—but If They Died, She Wanted Those To Be Her Last Words.

What About A Compromise? I’ll Kill Them First, And If It Turns Out They Were Friendly, I’ll Apologize.

Not Inmune To Engines Huh? Boo-yah!! -leo

I Smiled At The Giant. “actually, Cacus, I Have Another Secret Weapon.” The Giant’s Eyes Lit Up With Greed. “another Weapon? I Will Steal It! I Will Copy It And Sell The Knockoffs For A Profit! What Is This Secret Weapon?” “her Name Is Annabeth,” I Said. “and She’s One Of A Kind.

"something Was Wrong With Luke," Annabeth Muttered, Poking At The Fire With Her Knife. "did You Notice The Way He Was Acting?" "he Looked Pretty Pleased To Me," I Said. "like He'd Spent A Nice Day Torturing Heroes." "that's Not True! There Was Something Wrong With Him. He Looked... Nervous. He Told His Monsters To Spare Me. He Wanted To Tell Me Something." "probably, 'hi, Annabeth! Sit Here With Me And Watch While I Tear Your Friends Apart. It'll Be Fun!"

What In The World Are You Thinking?” She Sounded Pretty Flustered. “i Try Not To Think,” Leo Admitted. “it Interferes With Being Nuts. Just Concentrate On Moving That Celestial Bronze. Echo, You Ready?

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