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If You’re Listening To This, Congratulations! You Survived Doomsday. I’d Like To Apologize Straightaway For Any Inconvenience The End Of The World May Have Caused You. The Earthquakes, Rebellions, Riots,tornadoes, Floods, Tsunamis, And Of Course The Giant Snake Who Swallowed The Sun—i’m Afraid Most Of That Was Our Fault. Carter And I Decided We Should At Least Explain How It Happened.

-Rick Riordan

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If You’re Listening To

Rick Riordan

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If You’re Listening To This, Congratulations! You Survived Doomsday. I’d Like To Apologize Straightaway For Any Inconvenience The End Of The World May Have Caused You. The Earthquakes, Rebellions, Riots,tornadoes, Floods, Tsunamis, And Of Course The Giant Snake Who Swallowed The Sun—i’m Afraid Most Of That Was Our Fault. Carter And I Decided We Should At Least Explain How It Happened.

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More From Rick Riordan

I Plucked A Ruby Off The Nearest Plant And Threw It At Hades.

He Had A Crush On A Blueberry Bush Once.

So I Took Her Hand, And I Don't Know What Everybody Else Heard, But To Me It Sounded Like A Slow Dance: A Little Sad, But Maybe A Little Hopeful, Too.

A Truly Great Artist Has Many Talents.

Agh-uhh!” The Baboon Grunted. He Turned And Waddled Up The Stairs. Unfortunately, The Lakers Jersey Didn’t Completely Cover His Multicolored Rear.

Teach You To Try Marrying Me, You Idiot!

The Truth Is Harsh." Anubis Said. "spirits Come To The Hall Of Judgement All The Time, And They Cannot Let Go Of Their Lies. They Deny Their Faults, Their True Feelings, Their Mistakes.......right Up Until Ammit Devours Their Souls For Eternity. It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

Terminus Sniffed. “i Guard Borders. I Don’t Kill Giants. It’s Not In My Job Description.

I Tried To Tell Them That Things Would Be Okay, But I Didn't Believe It.

You Speak Horse?" Hazel Asked. "speaking To Horses Is A Poseidon Thing," Percy Said. "uh, I Mean A Neptune Thing." "then You And Arion Should Get Along Fine," Hazel Said. "he's A Son Of Neptune Too." Percy Turned Pale. "excuse Me?

While Coach Hedge Was Having Dinner On The Foredeck, A Wild Pegasus Appeared From Nowhere,stampeded Over The Coach’s Enchiladas, And Flew Off Again, Leaving Cheesy Hoof Prints All Across The Deck. “what Was That For?” The Coach Demanded.

He Scowled At Jason. "and Please, I Don't Like Being Touched. Don't Ever Grab Me Again.

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

Traitor!" Hera Shouted. "you Meddlesome, D-list Goddess! You Aren't Worthy To Pour My Wine, Much Less Rule The World.

Chiron, I Don't Think The Attic Is The Proper Place For Our New Oracle, Do You?" "no, Indeed." Chiron Looked A Lot Better Now That Apollo Had Worked Some Medical Magic On Him. "rachel May Use A Guest Room In The Big House For Now, Until We Give The Matter More Thought." "i'm Thinking A Cave In The Hills," Apollo Mused. "with Torches And A Big Purple Curtain Over The Entrance . . . Really Mysterious. But Inside, A Totally Decked-out Pad With A Game Room And One Of Those Home Theater Systems.

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.

Lots Of Death, Huh? Personally, I'm Trying To Avoid Lots Of Death, But You Guys Have Fun!

Child Of Lightning, Beware The Earth, The Giants' Revenge The Seven Shall Birth, The Forge And The Dove Shall Break The Cage, And Death Unleash Through Hera's Rage.

Let's Boogie,' He (leo) Said. 'before I Come To My Senses

Percy’d Heard Stories About Amputees Who Had Phantom Pains Where Their Missing Legs And Arms Used To Be. That’s How His Mind Felt—like His Missing Memories Were Aching.

Back When I Was On My First Assignment As A Seeker, I Was Way Out In Arizona. Brought In This Kid Named Clarisse.” “clarisse?” “sibling Of Yours,” Hedge Said. “ares Kid. Violent. Rude. Lots Of Potential.

You're The Last Olympian,' I Said. 'and The Most Important.' And Why Is That, Percy Jackson?' Because Hope Survives Best At The Hearth,' I Said.

I Excel At Pulling Strings!” Said Arachne. “i’m A Spider!

I Would've Hit The Water Hard, But At The Last Second I Changed Into A Falcon. ~carter Kane

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

Percy?" Annabeth Gripped His Arm. "oh, Bad," He Muttered. "bad. Bad." He Looked Across The Table At Frank And Hazel. "you Guys Remember Polybotes?" "the Giant Who Invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel Said. "the Anti-poseidon You Whacked In The Head With A Terminus Statue. Yes, I Think I Remember

Percy, Lesser Beings Do Many Horrible Things In The Name Of The Gods. That Does Not Mean We Gods Approve. The Way Our Sons And Daughters Act In Our Names... Well, It Usually Says More About Them Than It Does About Us.

Jason Always Tried To Build A Good Relationship With His Team. He'd Learned The Hard Way That If Somebody Was Going To Have Your Back In A Fight, It Was Better If You Found Some Common Ground And Trusted Each Other. But Nico Wasn't Easy To Figure Out.

Good Relationship

Just Because I'm Native American Doesn't Mean I Can Track Furniture Through The Wilderness." She Deepened Her Voice: "'yes, Kemosabe. A Three-legged Table Passed This Way An Hour Ago.' Heck, I Don’t Know.

Native American

Die Human, Die!! Die Nasty Polluting Person!!!!' Yelled Grover. I Turned Him So He Faced Me. He Kept On Clicking His Plastic Gun Towards Me As If I Was Part Of The Game.

God Alert!" Blackjack Yelled. "it's The Wine Dude! Mr. D Sighed In Exasperation. "the Next Person, Or Horse, Who Calls Me The 'wine Dude' Will End Up In A Bottle Of Merlot!

Well, I Hope You Like It Here, Leo. It Used To Be .......really Nice.

True, You're The Weakest Of Us All, But You're Still One Of The Five, And There Is Power In Collecting The Complete Set." He Paused, Then Grinned. "the Complete Set! That's Funny! Now Let's Consume Your Energy And Entomb Your Soul, Shall We?

I Hate It When People Let Me Down, When Things Are Temporary. I Think That's Why I Want To Be An Architect." "to Build Something Permanent," I Said. "a Monument To Last A Thousand Years.

When I Was Young, My Favorite Picture Book Was 'fletcher And Zenobia,' Written By Edward Gorey And Illustrated By Victoria Chess. It's Long Out Of Print Now, But Its Mix Of Macabre Humor And 1960s Psychedelia Made It A Perfect Children's Book For The Times.

You Have To Rise Above The Squabbling And Chaos, And Keep Believing. You Have To Always Keep Your Goals In Mind.” -hera, Goddess Of Marriage

Meat!" He Said Scornfully. "i'm A Vegetarian." You Eat Cheese Enchiladas And Aluminum Cans," I Reminded Him. Those Are Vegetables.

With My Sister Perched On My Arm, I Walked To The Elevator. A Business Man With A Rolling Suitcase Was Waiting By The Doors. His Eyes Widened As He Saw Me. I Must’ve Looked Pretty Strange—a Tall Black Kid In Dirty, Ragged Egyptian Clothes, With A Weird Box Tucked Under One Arm And A Bird Of Prey Perched On The Other. “how’s It Going?” I Said. “i’ll Take The Stairs.” He Hurried Off.

Who Are You?" Ethan Nakamura. I Have To Kill You." ??

Want A Cookie,' Ra Said. 'what Kind?' 'weasel Cookie.' I'm Here To Tell You, That Comment About Weasel Cookies Probably Saved The Known Universe.

Yes I Remember My Sixteenth." Vitellius Said "wonderful Omen! Happily Chicken In My Underpants." "excuse Me.

Delaying Death Is One Of My Favorite Hobbies

[tyson] Looked Him Over With That Massive Baby-brown Eye. “you Are Not Dead. I Like It When You Are Not Dead.” Ella Fluttered To The Ground And Began Preening Her Feathers. “ella Found A Dog,” She Announced. “a Large Dog. And A Cyclops.” Was She Blushing? Before Percy Could Decide, His Black Mastiff Pounced On Him, Knocking Percy To The Ground And Barking So Loudly That Even Arion Backed Up. “hey, Mrs. O'leary,” Percy Said. “yeah, I Love You, Too, Girl. Good Dog.” Hazel Squeaked. “you Have A Hellhound Named Mrs. O'leary?” “long Story.

I'm Calm," Rachel Insisted. "every Time I'm Around You, Some Monsters Attack Us. What's To Be Nervous About?" "look," I Said. "i'm Sorry About The Band Room. I Hope They Didn't Kick You Our Or Anything." "nah. They Asked Me A Lot Of Questions About You. I Played Dumb." "was It Hard?" Annabeth Asked.

We Had Enough Quite Enough Snobbery In This World Without Exporting It To The Hereafter.

They Had A Silent Staring Contest, But Percy Didn’t Back Down. When He And Annabeth Started Dating, His Mother Had Drummed It Into His Head: It’s Good Manners To Walk Your Date To The Door. If That Was True, It Had To Be Good Manners To Walk Her To The Start Of Her Epic Solo Death Quest.

Is Tyson Okay?' I Asked. The Question Seemed To Take My Dad By Surprise. 'he's Fine. Doing Much Better Than I Expected. Though 'peanut Butter' Is A Strange Battle Cry.

I Pressed Play And Started Up Chiron's Favorite--the All-time Greatest Hits Of Dean Martin. Suddenly The Air Was Filled With Violins And A Bunch Of Guys Moaning In Italian. The Demon Pigeons Went Nuts. They Started Flying In Circles, Running Into Each Other Like They Wanted To Bash Their Own Brains Out.

Now, Come Over Here So I Can Pat You Down." "but You Don't Have-" Percy Stopped. "uh, Sure." He Stood Next To The Armless Statue. Terminus Conducted A Rigorous Mental Pat Down. "you Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare That This Is Stupid.

The Images From The Book You Make In Your Head Are Always Going To Be The Best Images.

Any Moment Now..." The Girl [calypso] Stared Out At The Water. No Magical Raft Appeared. "maybe It Got Stuck In A Traffic," Leo Said.

Always, Always Have A Plan

Oh No." I Said Panic Rising In My Chest. "no, No, No, Somebody Get A Can Opener. I've Got A God In My Head!!

No!" Leo Yelled. "uhhh," Nico Groaned From The Floor. "piper!" Jason Cried. "monkey!" Frank Yelled. "not Monkeys," Hazel Grumbled. "i Think Those Are Dwarfs." "stealing My Stuff!" Leo Yelled, And Ran For The Stairs.

I Guess It Started In London, The Night Our Dad Blew Up The British Museum.

Only The Fire Of Life Can Melt The Chains Of Death.

Boys Are Usually Forbidden To Have Any Contact With The Hunters. The Last One To See This Camp..." She Looked At Zoe. "which One Was It?" That Boy In Colorado," Zoe Said. "you Turned Him Into A Jackalope." Ah, Yes." Artemis Nodded, Satisfied. "i Enjoy Making Jackalopes.

George Unhinged His Jaw And Coughed Up A Little Plastic Bottle Filled With Chewable Vitamins. "you're Kidding," I Said. "are Those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes Picked Up The Bottle And Rattled It. "the Lemon Ones, Yes. The Grape Ones Are Furies, I Think. Or Are They Hydras? At Any Rate, These Are Potent."

Grand Buildings Made Her Feel Better--maybe Because Being In A Place So Permanent Made Her Feel More Permanent.

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

I Blinked The Sleep Out Of My Eyes And Realized My Head Was In Khufu’s Lap. The Baboon Was Foraging My Scalp For Munchies. “dude.” I Sat Up Groggily. “not Cool.” “but He Gave You A Lovely Hairdo,” Sadie Said. “agh-agh!” Khufu Agreed.

Set’s Storm Is Gathering,” Amos Said With A Twinkle In His Eyes. “shall We Drive Into Is?

I Know, I'm An Idiot!" Leo Moaned. "a Brilliant Idiot, But Still An Idiot.

I Realized That Anyone Who Dared To Hurt Me Would Suffer His Full Wrath, And Walt Wasn’t Going To Hold Him Back.

We Were Alone In A Strange Mansion With A Baboon, A Crocodile, And A Weird Cat. And Apparently, The Entire World Was In Danger. I Looked At Sadie. “what Do We Do Now?

Some Risks Are Worth Taking, Even If It Means Losing A Life.

She Deserved At Least One Person Who Saw Her And Knew How Good She Was.

You'd Think He'd Ran Out Off Rocks," I Muttered

I Looked Back, But Bast And Sadie Seemed Fine. They Were Still Staring At The Water As If It Were Some Amazing Internet Video.

Frank Held Up The Chinese Handcuffs. “keep It Simple.

I Play Dodgeball With Cannibals (chapter 2)

Keep Climbing,' He Told Himself. 'cheeseburgers,' His Stomach Replied. 'shut Up,' He Thought. 'with Fries,' His Stomach Complained.

Some Pain Shouldn’t Be Wished Away So Easily. It Has To Be Dealt With, Even Embraced.

So, Yeah. Our Cat Was A Goddess. What Else Is New?

I Saw 'the 39 Clues' As A Potential Vehicle For Doing Some Education In A Fun Way - To Take Some Of These Amazing Stories From History, Dust Them Off And Make Them Alive.

I Like To Remind Teachers That Even Though They're All Overwhelmed And Overloaded, And It's Easy To Get Burned Out, It Really Is About The Kids. It Only Takes One Good Teacher To Change A Life - One Time, And One Book. That's What Happened When I Was A Kid. I Had One Good Teacher That Came In At The Right Time And Turned Me Into A Writer. So Never Lose Sight - You Could Be That Teacher.

People Usually Asked Her If She Had A Belly Button. Of Course She Had A Belly Button. She Couldn't Explain How. She Didn't Really Want To Know.

Thank Artemis, It Is You! That Little Scar On Your Lip--you Tried To Eat A Stapler When You Were Two!" ... Hedge Nodded Like He Approved Of Jason's Taste. "staplers--excellent Source Of Iron.

Artemis Must Be Present At The Solstice," Zoe Said. "she Has Been The Most Vocal On The Council, Arguing For Taking Action Against Kronos's Minions. If She Is Not There, The Gods Will Decide Nothing. We Will Lose Another Year Of War Preparations." Are You Sugesting The Gods Have Trouble Acting Together, Young Lady?" Dionysis Asked. Yes, Lord Dionysis." Mr.d Nodded. "just Checking. Your Right, Of Course. Carry On.

You Deal With Mythological Stuff For A Few Years, You Learn That Paradises Are Usually Places Where You Get Killed.

Great. I've Made A Friend.

With Her Braided Hair And White Dress, She Seemed To Glow In The Moonlight.

I've Always Liked The Idea That Writing Is A Form Of Travel. And I Started My Writing Career As A Mystery Novelist For Adults.

I Stared At Her. Maybe I Wasn't The Brightest Guy In The World When It Came To Girls, But I Was Pretty Sure Rachel Had Just Dumped Me, Which Was Lame Considering We'd Never Even Been Together.

Silena Appeared Out Of The Woods, Her Sword Drawn. Her Aphrodite Armour Was Pink And Red, Colour Coordinated To Match Her Clothes And Makeup. She Looked Like Guerilla Warfare Barbie.

Annabeth Didn’t Want To Sleep, But Her Body Betrayed Her. Her Eyelids Turned To Lead. “percy, Wake Me For Second Watch. Don’t Be A Hero.” He Gave Her That Smirk She’d Come To Love. “who, Me?” He Kissed Her, His Lips Parched And Feverishly Warm. “sleep.

Naturally, Coach Hedge Went Ballistic; But Percy Found It Hard To Take The Satyr Seriously Since He Was Barely Five Feet Tall. "never In My Life!" Coach Bellowed, Waving His Bat And Knocking Over A Plate Of Apples. "against The Rules! Irresponsible!" "coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll—i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

I Knew There Was A Reason I Didnt Turn You Into A Banana Slug." Leonid'd Eyes Widened. "no Banana Slug! Please!" "it Was A Compliement, Silly. Forbidden Is Good! Sadie Likes Forbidden!

Chiron Probably Wanted Me To Say, Heck It Wa Nothing. I Eat Hellhounds For Breakfast. But I Didn't Feel Like Lying.

Percy Yelled. "what's Going- Gah! Shrimpzilla!

I Like To Have A Simple Workplace.

I'd Like To Say I Took The News Well. The Truth Was, I Wanted To Strangle The Hunters Of Artemis One Eternal Maiden At A Time. --percy Jackson

Why Are They So Sad?” I Asked. “well, They’re Dead,” Carter Speculated.

They Know They’ve Won,” Carter Guessed. “they’re Making A Show Of It.” “yes,” Amos Said. “well, Let’s Blow Up The Boats Or Something!” I Said. Amos Looked At Me. “is That Your Strategy, Honestly?

Look, I Didn't Want To Be A Half-blood.

Glancing Back I Got My First Clear Look At The Monster. He Was Seven Feet Tall, Easy, His Arms And Legs Like Something From The Cover Of Muscle Man Magazine-bulging Biceps And Triceps And A Bunch Of Other 'ceps, All Stuffed Like Baseballs Under Vein-webbed Skin. He Wore No Clothes Except Underwear-i Mean, Bright White Fruit Of The Looms.

Of Course, Annabeth Wouldn't Be Able To Breathe, But At The Moment, That Seemed Like A Minor Problem.

So, Destroy?" Cal Asked. Clearly, The Conversation Was Giving His Two Brain Cells A Serious Workout.

And, Whoa!" He Turned To Mr.d. "your The Wine Dude? No Way!" Mr.d Turned Hi Eyes Away From Me And Gave Nico A Look Of Loathing. "the Wine Dude?" "dionysus, Right? Oh, Wow! I've Got Your Figurine!" "my Figurine." "in My Game, Mythomagic. And Holofoil Card, Too! And Even Though You've Only Got Like Five Hundred Attack Points And Everybody Thinks Your The Lamest God Card, I Totally Think Your Powers Are Sweet!" "ah." Mr.d Seemed Truly Perplexed, Which Probably Saved My Life. "well, That's...gratifying.

Percy Was Not Feeling The Love.

George Unhinged His Jaw And Coughed Up A Little Plastic Bottle Filled With Chewable Vitamins. "you're Kidding," I Said. "are Those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes Picked Up The Bottle And Rattled It. "the Lemon Ones, Yes. The Grape Ones Are Furies, I Think. Or Are They Hydras? At Any Rate, These Are Potent."

The Afterlife Looks Different To Every Soul," He Said, "depending On Whatthey Believe. For That Guy, Egypt Must've Made A Strong Impression When He Was Young , Maybe." "and If Someone Doesn't Believe In Any Afterlife?" I Asked. Walt Gave Me A Sad Look. "then That's What They Experience.

Entertain Me, Heroes Of Olympus. Give Me A Reason To Do More." Bacchus To Percy And Jason

Percy Looked At Coach Hedge And Frank. “a Trap?” “probably,” Frank Said. “she’s Not Mortal,” Hedge Said, Sniffing The Air. “probably Some Kind Of Goat-eating, Demigod-destroying Fiend From Tartarus.” “no Doubt,” Percy Agreed. “awesome.” Hedge Grinned. “let’s Go.

Nico Di Angelo Came Into Olympus To A Hero's Welcome, His Father Right Behind Him, Despite The Fact That Hades Was Only Supposed To Visit Olympus In Winter Solstice. The God Of The Dead Looked Stunned When His Relatives Clapped Him On The Back. I Doubt He'd Ever Got Such An Enthusiastic Welcome Before.

I Have Lightning And Wind Powers," Jason Reminded Him. "piper Can Turn Beautiful And Charm People Into Giving Her Bmws. You're No More A Freak Than We Are. And, Hey, Maybe You Can Fly, Too. Like Jump Off A Building And Yell 'flame On!'" Leo Snorted. "if I Did That, You Would See A Flaming Kid Falling To His Death, And I Would Be Yelling Something A Little Stronger Than 'flame On!

I Sat Up In Bed. "what Did He Say?" Tyson Groaned, Still Half Asleep. He Was Lying Facedown On The Couch, His Feet So Far Over The Edge They Were In The Bathroom. "the Happy Man Said...bowling Practice?" I Hoped He Was Right, But Then There Was An Urgent Knock On The Suite's Interior Door. Annabeth Stuck Her Head In--her Blonde Hair In A Rat's Nest. "disembowling Practice?

Percy (to Annabeth): If I Was Going To Pick One Person In The World To Reattach My Head, I'd Pick You. Silena: Awww . . . Percy, That Is So Sweet! Annabeth: Shut Up, Silena.

Hey, Moose!” I Screamed. The Set Animal Locked Its Glowing Eyes One Me. Well Done! Horus Said. Now We’ll Both Die With Honor! Shut Up, I Thought.

I Think I Write For Reluctant Readers. Of Course I Want Everyone To Enjoy My Books, But If The Kids In The Back Row Who Normally Don't Pick Up A Book Are Engaged With What I'm Writing, Along With The Kids Who Are Big Readers Anyway, Then I Really Feel Like I've Done My Job.

Mr. D," Grover Asked Timidly, "if You're Not Going To Eat It, Could I Have Your Diet Coke Can?

Holy Mother!" "hmph. More Like Holy Father. I'd Think You'd Know The Difference." -hephaetus

Rachel: They Asked Me A Lot Of Questions About You. I Played Dumb. Annabeth: Was It Hard?

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Hermes Rolled His Eyes. "surely You've Seen Network Tv Lately. It's Clear They Don't Know Whether They're Coming Or Going. That's Because Janus Is In Charge Of Programming. He Loves Ordering New Shows And Cancelling Them After Two Episodes. God Of Beginnings And Endings, After All. Anyway, I Was Bringing Him Some Magic Doormats, And I Was Double-parked -" "you Have To Worry About Double-parking?" "will You Let Me Tell The Story?" "sorry."

But You'll Be Killed!" "i'll Be Fine. Besides, We've Got No Choice." Annabeth Glared At Me Like She Was Going To Punch Me. And Then She Did Something That Surprised Me Even More. She Kissed Me.

But Grover’s Voice Was Already Growing Fainter. ‘sweet Dreams. Don’t Let Me Die!

Hercules Used Noise! Brass Bells! He Scared Them Away With The Most Horrible Sound He Could-" Said Percy "percy... Chiron's Collection!

I'm Afraid Not." Hades Sighed. "my Son Here Convinced Me That Perhaps I Should Prioritize My List Of Enemies." He Glared At Me With Distaste. "as Much As I Dislike Certain Upstart Demigods, It Would Not Do For Olympus To Fall. I Would Miss Bickering With My Siblings. And If There Is One Thing We Agree On - It Is That You Were A Terrible Father.

A Telkhine Was Hunched Over A Console, But He Was So Involved With His Work, He Didn't Notice Us. He Was About Five Feet Tall, With Slick Black Seal Fur And Stubby Little Feet. He Had The Head Of A Doberman, But His Clawed Hands Were Almost Human. He Growled And Muttered As He Tapped On His Keyboard. Maybe He Was Messaging His Friends On Uglyface.com.

But Remember, Boy, That A Kind Act Can Sometimes Be As Powerful As A Sword. As A Mortal, I Was Never A Great Fighter Or Athlete Or Poet. I Only Made Wine. The People In My Village Laughed At Me. They Said I Would Never Amount To Anything. Look At Me Now. Sometimes Small Things Can Become Very Large Indeed.

You're Pretty Smug, Lord Ares, For A Guy Who Runs From Cupid Statues.

You Might As Well Ask An Artist To Explain His Art, Or Ask A Poet To Explain His Poem. It Defeats The Purpose. The Meaning Is Only Clear Thorough The Search.

Please Tell Me Your Master Isn't Aeolus." "that Airhead?" Favonius Snorted. "no, Of Course Not." "he Means Eros." Nico's Voice Turned Edgy. "cupid, In Latin." Favonius Smiled. "very Good, Nico Di Angelo. I'm Glad To See You Again, By The Way. It's Been A Long Time.

You Promised You Would Protect Her Nico Said. He Might As Well Have Stabbed Me With A Rusty Dagger.it Would've Hurt Less Than Reminding Me Of My Promise.

Come On," I Said. "i've Got Some Questions For Thoth. And Then I'm Going To Punch Him In The Beak.

The Taller They Are, The Longer They Fall.

Polyphemus Stiffened. "who Said That?" "nobody!" Annabeth Yelled. That Got Exactly The Reaction She'd Been Hoping For. The Monster's Face Turned Red With Rage. "nobody!" Polyphemus Yelled Back. "i Remember You!" "you're Too Stupid To Remember Anybody," Annabeth Taunted. "much Less Nobody.

Weapons Are Allowed. Dirty Tricks Are Expected. But Try Not To Kill Anybody!” Tantalus Smiled At Us Like We Were All Naughty Children. “any Killing Will Result In Harsh Punishment. No S’mores At The Campfire For A Week! Now Ready Your Chariots!

And I Could Always Set Coach Hedge On Fire,” Leo Volunteered. “then He Can Be Fire.” The Thought Of A Blazing Satyr Screaming, “die, Scumbag!” As He Attacked Gaea Was Almost Enough To Make Piper Laugh— Almost.

I Hoped They Couldn't Run Very Fast With Those Stubby Little Legs And Flippers, But They Waddled Along Pretty Well.

Now, Sorry About That Kill-on-sight Business.

It Was If The City Knew About Percy's Dream Of Gaea. It Knew That The Earth Goddess Intended On Razing All Human Civilization, And This City, Which Had Stood For Thousands If Years, Was Saying Back At Her: You Wanna Dissolve This City, Dirt Face? Give It A Shot. In Other Words, It Was The Coach Hedge Of Mortal Cities- Only Taller.

Thankfully,two Old Friends Stood Next To The Throne. Horus Wore Full Battle Armor And A Khopesh Sword At His Side.is Kohl-lined Eyes-one Gold, One Silver-were As Piercing As Ever. At His Side Stood Isis In A Shimmering White Gown, With Wings Of Light. "welcome," Horus Said. "um, Hi," I Said. "he Has A Way With Words," Isis Muttered, Which Made Sadie Snort.

The World May Need Fixing, But It's Worth Preserving.

A Little Background: Annabeth Used To Adventure With Hermes's Son Luke. Over Time, Annabeth Developed A Crush On Luke. As Annabeth Got Older, Luke Developed Feelings For Her, Too. Luke Turned Evil. Hermes Blamed Annabeth For Not Preventing Luke From Turning Evil. Annabeth Blamed Hermes For Being A Rotten Dad And Giving Luke The Capacity To Become Evil In The First Place. Luke Died In War. Hermes And Annabeth Blamed Each Other. Confused? Welcome To My World.

Love And War Always Go Together. They Are The Peaks Of Human Emotion! Evil And Good, Beauty And Ugliness

The Sign Was Spray-painted In Arabic And English, Probably From Some Attempt By The Farmer To Sell His Wares In The Market. The English Read: Dates-best Price. Cold Bebsi. "bebsi?" I Asked. "pepsi," Walt Said. "i Read About It On The Internet. There's No 'p' In Arabic. Everyone Here Calls The Soda Bebsi." "so You Have To Have Bebsi With Your Bizza?" "brobably.

Um, Dues Ex Machina Anyone?

Reyna Sent Me To Get Percy," Frank Said. "did Octavian Accept You?" "yeah," Percy Said. "he Slaughtered My Panda.

So Which Way Now, Sacagawea?" - Annabeth To Rachel

Hold Up," Leo Said. "you Guys Lost A Dragon? A Real Full Size Dragon?

Oh, Hazel Is Awesome," Don Said. "she's So Nice! All The Other Campers Are Like 'go Away Don.' But She's Like 'please Go Away, Don.' I Love Her!

Now Fight Me! For Today Thee House Of Hades Will Be Called The Saviors Of Olympus.

Warning: The Following Is A Transcript Of A Digital Recording. In Certain Places, The Audio Quality Was Poor, So Some Words And Phrases Represent The Author's Best Guesses. Where Possible, Illustrations Of Important Symbols Mentioned In The Recording Have Been Added. Background Noises Such As Scuffling, Hitting, And Cursing By The Two Speakers Have Not Been Transcribed The Author Makes No Claims For The Authenticity Of The Recording. It Seems Impossible That The Two Young Narrators Are Telling The Truth, But You, The Reader, Must Decide For Yourself.

Background Noise

Green Grass Breaks Through Snow, Artemis Pleads For My Help, I Am So Cool.

Race You To The Road?" I Said. "you Are So Going To Lose." She (annabeth) Took Off Down Half-blood Hill And I Sprinted After Her. For Once, I Didn't Look Back.

Akhlys Lunged At Percy, And For A Split Second He Thought: Well, Hey, I’m Just Smoke. She Can’t Touch Me, Right? He Imagined The Fates Up In Olympus, Laughing At His Wishful Thinking: Lol, Noob!

Sometimes Small Things Can Become Very Large, Indeed.

[my Mom's] Funny That Way, Celebrating Special Occasions With Blue Food. I Think It's Her Way Of Saying Anything Is Possible. Percy Can Pass Seventh Grade. Waffles Can Be Blue. Little Miracles Like That.

I Started To Walk Away, But She [clarisse] Called Out, "percy?" "yeah?" "when You, Uh, Had That Vision About Your Friends..." "you Were One Of Them," I Promised, "just Don't Tell Anybody, Okay? Or I'de Have To Kill You." A Faint Smile Flickered Across Her Face "see You Later." "see You

Far Below I Heard Cacus Bellowing As Millions, Maybe Even Thousands Of Filthy Gallons Of Water Slammed Into Him. Meanwhile, Annabeth Alternately Shouted, Gagged, Hit Me, Called Me Endearing Pet Names Like, "idiot! Stupid - Dirty - Moron - " And Topped It All Off With, "kill You!

How Old Is She Now?" He Asked. "hard To Say. She Was A Tree For A While. Now She's Immortal.

Afterward, I Had The Last Laugh. I Made An Air Bubble At The Bottom Of The Lake. Our Friends Kept Waiting For Us To Come Up, But Hey-when You Are The Son Of Poseidon, You Don't Have To Hurry. And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

The Old Women Only Stuck Around This Long Out Of A Sense Of Duty. Your Mom Was The Same Way. That's Why I Loved Her. She Put Her Duty First, Ahead Of Evverything.

Despicable Creatures, Vultures: Without A Doubt The Most Disgusting Birds Ever. I Suppose They Served Their Purpose, But Did They Have To Be So Greasy And Ugly? Couldn't We Have Cute Fuzzy Rabbits That Cleaned Up Roadkill Instead?

Getting Something And Having The Wits To Use It...those Are Two Different Things.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Not Even The Best Machines. And Everything Can Be Reused. - Hephaestus

Good Job On Percy Jackson I Read All Of Them 8 Times And Have Listened 42 Times And Still Not Bored Thanks.

If I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

Look, Ladies, We've Been Over This. I Don't Even Remember Killing Medusa. I Don't Remember Anything! Can't We Just Call A Truce And Talk About Your Weekly Specials?" Stheno Gave Her Sister A Pouty Look, Which Was Hard To Do With Giant Bronze Tusks. "can We?

Genius Does Not Excuse Evil.

The Bridge Fell Away Into The Chasm, And The Cyclops Howled ... With Delight, Because He Was Standing Right Next To Us.

"we're Staying Together," He Promised. "you're Not Getting Away From Me. Never Again."

Okay," Annabeth Said. "what Exactly Do You Smell?" "something Bad," Tyson Answered. "great," Annabeth Grumbled. "that Clears It Up.

Everything Happens For A Reason, Sadie, Even Bad Things.

Everything Happens For A Reason

It's Not Bad Enough I Am Exiled? It's Not Bad Enough You Take Away The Few Good Heroes I'm Allowed To Meet? You Think It's Funny To Send Me This This ― This Charbroiled Runt Of A Boy To Ruin My Tranquility? This Is Not Funny! Take Him Back!

I'd Missed Annabeth Probably More Than I Wanted To Admit.

Sea Of Monsters

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

As Long As We`re Together

Kronos Would Be 10 Times More Powerful. His Very Presence Would Incinerate You. And Once He Achieves This He Will Empower The Other Titans. They Are Weak, Compared To What They Soon Will Become, Unless You Can Stop Them, The World Will Fall, The Gods Will Die, And I Will Never Achieve A Perfect Score On This Stupid Machine.

She Held Up Her Calloused, Grimy Fingers. Leo Couldn't Help Thinking There Was Nothing Hotter Than A Girl Who Didn't Mind Getting Her Hands Dirty. But Of Course, That Was Just A General Comment. Didn't Apply To Calypso. Obviously.

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

I Will Feast On Enemies Of Ra Until My Belly Is Full!” “charming,” Sadie Whispered.

Survive First. Figure Out Crayon Drawing Of Destiny Later.

To A Degree, The Greek And Roman Mythological Heroes Are Just The First Superheroes. They Appeal To Children For Much The Same Reason. These Gods And Heroes May Have Powers, But They Get Angry And They Do The Wrong Thing. They Are Human Too.

So, You Wrecked Alcatraz Island, Made Mount St. Helens Explode, And Displaced Half A Million People, But At Least You're Safe." "yep, That Pretty Much Covers It.

In The Center Stood A Marble Alter, Where A Kid In A Toga Was Doing Some Sort Of Ritual In Front Of A Massive Golden Statue Of The Big Dude Himself:jupiter The Sky God, Dressed In A Silk Xxxl Purple Toga, Holding A Lightning Bolt. "it Doesn't Look Like That," Percy Muttered. "what?" Hazel Asked. "the Master Bolt," Percy Said. "what Are You Talking About?" "i-" Percy Frowned. For A Second, He'd Thought He Remembered Something. Now It Was Gone. "nothing, I Guess.

This Is The Wilderness School. 'where The Kids Are Animals

The Way To Beat Luke," He Said. "if I'm Right, It's The Only Way You'll Stand A Chance." I Took A Deep Breath. "okay. I'm Listening." Nico Glanced Inside My Room. His Eyebrows Furrowed. "is That...is That Blue Birthday Cake?" He Sounded Hungry, Maybe A Little Wistful. I Wondered If The Poor Kid Had Ever Had A Birthday Party, Or If He'd Ever Even Been Invited To One. :come Inside For Cake And Ice Cream," I Said. "it Sounds Like We've Got A Lot To Talk About.

Annabeth Realized That If Six Of Them Went On These Two Quests, It Would Leave Percy Alone On The Ship With Coach Hedge, Which Was Maybe Not A Situation A Caring Girlfriend Should Put Him In. Nor Was She Eager To Let Percy Out Of Her Sight Again—not After They’d Been Apart For So Many Months.

Everybody Loves To Show Up At The Party Once All The Hard Work Is Done.

Water Liked To Be Free. Given Time, Water Could Overcome Any Barrier, And It Hated To Be Trapped, Just Like Percy.

If Possible, Try To Avoid Pushing Each Other Over The Edge, As That Would Cause Me Extra Paperwork.

Pushing Each Other

What-what Do You Want?" Annabeth Asked, Trying To Maintain A Tone Of Confidence. The Voice Cackled Maliciously. 'to Curse You, Of Course! To Destroy You Thousand Times In The Name Of Mother Night!' "only A Thousand Times?" Percy Murmured. "oh, Good...i Thought We Were In Trouble.

When I Write, I'm Still Imagining A Kid Reading It On Paper. I Read E-books When I Travel, But In General I Still Prefer Holding An Old-fashioned Book In My Hands. There's A Special, Tactile Experience.

Safety From What? Who's After Me?" Oh, Nobody Much," Grover Said, Obviously Still Miffed About The Donkey Comment. "just The Lord Of The Dead And A Few Of His Blood-thirstiest Minions.

If You're Heading Downtown From Centeral Park, My Advice Is To Take The Subway. Flying Pigs Are Faster But Way More Dangerous

Isis And Horus," He Said. "i See You've Found New Bodies.

Back Up Shall We? When My Brother, The Crazy Chicken Warrior, Turned Into A Falcon And Went Up The Pyramid’s Chimney With His New Friend, The Fruit Bat, He Left Me Playing Nurse To Two Very Wounded People—which I Didn’t Appreciate, And Which I Wasn’t Particularly Good At.

Think Positive Girl, Or The World Ends.

He Gave Me The Brochure. It Was About The Hunters Of Artemis. The Front Read, A Wise Choice For Your Future! Inside Were Pictures Of Young Maidens Doing Hunter Stuff, Chasing Monsters, Shooting Bows. There Were Captions Like: Health Benefits: Immortality And What It Means For You! And A Boy-free Tomorrow! "i Found That In Annabeth's Backpack," Grover Said. I Stared At Him. "i Don't Understand." "well, It Seems To Me… Maybe Annabeth Was Thinking About Joining." I'd Like To Say I Took The News Well. The Truth Was, I Wanted To Strangle The Hunters Of Artemis One Eternal Maiden At A Time.

Aretmis Gripped Her Bow. “let Us Pray I Am Wrong.” Can Goddesses Pray?

Gods And Goddesses

Mark My Words, Nothing Smells Worse Than Burned Scorpion.

Tyson," I Said "we're Turning Around!" Going The Wrong Way?" He Asked. Always," I Grumbled, But I Steered The Chariot Towards The Stands.

Marvelous,” She Said. “tell Me About This Tapestry.” Arachne’s Lips Curled Over Her Mandibles. “why Do You Care? You're About To Die.” “well, Yes,” Annabeth Said. “but The Way You Captured The Light Is Amazing. Did You Use Real Gold Thread For The Sunbeams?

The Eidolons Started Pounding On The Door. 'who Is It?' Leo Called. 'valdez!' 'valdez Who?

Right," She Said, "we're Going To The Land Of The Dead And I Shouldn't Think Negative.

Frank Zhang: Lumbering Klutz, Child Of Mars, Part-time Pachyderm.

Why Won't You Drown?" He Wailed, Pummeling Me With His Fists. "i'm Poseidon's Son," I Said. "curse That Upstart! I Was Here First!

Whoa, Boy, He Told Himself. Golden Rule For Demigods: Thou Shalt Not Hokey Pokey With Psychos.

The Death Mist Is Not For Helping!" Akhlys Shrieked. "it Shrouds Mortals In Misery As Their Souls Pass Into The Underworld. It Is The Very Breath Of Tartarus, Of Death, Of Despair!" "awesome," Percy Said. "could We Get Two Orders Of That To Go?

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