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I’ll Leave You Guys To Get Acquainted. Somebody Show Leo To Dinner When It’s Time?” “i Got It,” One Of The Girls Said. Nyssa, Leo Remembered. She Wore Camo Pants, A Tank Top That Showed Off Her Buff Arms, And A Red Bandanna Over Her Mop Of Dark Hair. Except For The Smiley-face Band-aid On Her Chin, She Looked Like One Of Those Female Action Heroes, Like Any Second She Was Going To Grab A Machine Gun And Start Mowing Down Evil Aliens. “cool,” Leo Said. “i Always Wanted A Sister Who Could Beat Me Up.

-Rick Riordan

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I’ll Leave You Guys

Rick Riordan

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I’ll Leave You Guys To Get Acquainted. Somebody Show Leo To Dinner When It’s Time?” “i Got It,” One Of The Girls Said. Nyssa, Leo Remembered. She Wore Camo Pants, A Tank Top That Showed Off Her Buff Arms, And A Red Bandanna Over Her Mop Of Dark Hair. Except For The Smiley-face Band-aid On Her Chin, She Looked Like One Of Those Female Action Heroes, Like Any Second She Was Going To Grab A Machine Gun And Start Mowing Down Evil Aliens. “cool,” Leo Said. “i Always Wanted A Sister Who Could Beat Me Up.

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I Figure The World Is Basically A Machine. I Don't Know Who Made It, If It Was The Fates, Or The Gods, Or The Capital-g God Or Whatever. But It Chugs Along The Way It's Supposed To Most Of The Time. Sure, Little Pieces Break Off And Stuff Goes Haywire Once In A While, But Mostly... Things Happen For A Reason.

And Please God, Grant Me The Wisdom To Remember That I Am Writing For Children, Not Golden Stickers.

I'm The Son Of Jupiter, I'm A Child Of Rome, Consul To Demigods, Praetor Of The First Legion. I Slew The Trojan Sea Monster, I Toppled The Black Throne Of Kronos, And Destroyed Titan Krios With My Own Hand. And Now I'm Going To Destroy You Porphyrion, And Feed You To Your Own Wolves." "wow, Dude," Leo Muttered, "you Been Eating Red Meat?

He'd Changed Since The Last Summer. Instead Of Bermuda Shorts And A T-shirt, He Wore A Button-down Shirt, Khaki Pants, And Leather Loafers. His Sandy Hair, Which Used To Be So Unruly, Was Now Clipped Short. He Look Like An Evil Male Model, Showing Off What The Fashionable College-age Villain Was Wearing To Harvard This Year.

More Minions!” He Shouted. “come To Me!” That Couldn’t Be Good. Another Round Of Giant Crocs And We’d Be Dead. Why Don’t We Get Minions? I Complained To Horus, But He Didn’t Answer.

I’ll Distract Them,” Carter Said. “you Search. The Trophy Room Is Through There.” “carter!” But The Fool Ran Off To Protect Me. I Hate When He Does That.

The Way Leo Figured It, He Spent More Time Crashing Than He Did Flying. If There Was A Rewards Card For Frequent Crashers, He'd Be, Like, Double Platinum Level.

Frank Had Decided That Whatever His Fate Was, He Wouldn’t Worry About It. He Would Just Do The Best He Could To Help His Friends.

When I Was Young, My Favorite Picture Book Was 'fletcher And Zenobia,' Written By Edward Gorey And Illustrated By Victoria Chess. It's Long Out Of Print Now, But Its Mix Of Macabre Humor And 1960s Psychedelia Made It A Perfect Children's Book For The Times.

We'd Spent Maybe Ten Minutes Together, During Which Time I'd Accidentally Swung A Sword At Her, She'd Saved My Life, And I'd Run Away Chased By A Band Of Supernatural Killing Machines. You Know, Your Typical Chance Meeting.

Please Tell Me Your Master Isn't Aeolus." "that Airhead?" Favonius Snorted. "no, Of Course Not." "he Means Eros." Nico's Voice Turned Edgy. "cupid, In Latin." Favonius Smiled. "very Good, Nico Di Angelo. I'm Glad To See You Again, By The Way. It's Been A Long Time.

It Doesn't Matter! From Waist Down, My Best Friend Is A Donkey.

Seven Half-bloods Shall Answer The Call To Storm Or Fire The World Must Fall An Oath To Keep With A Final Breath And Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

A Giant Vulture With A Girl Hanging From Its Feet Tends To Attract Attention.

Annabeth’s Shoulders Ached. The Elevator’s Easy-listening Music Didn’t Help. If All Monsters Had To Hear That Song About Liking Piña Coladas And Getting Caught In The Rain, No Wonder They Were In The Mood For Carnage When They Reached The Mortal World.

Annabeth Looked At Me. " We Have To Get Out Of Here." " You Think I Want To Be In The Girls' Restroom?" " I Mean The Ship, Percy! We Have To Get Off The Ship." " Smells Bad," Tyson Agreed. " And Dogs Eat All The Eggs. Annabeth Is Right. We Must Leave The Restroom And The Ship.

All I Heard Was The Blood Rushing Through My Ears, And The Distant Rumble And Crackle Of The Lake Of Fire. (and Khufu Scratching Himself And Grunting, But That Was Nothing New.)

I Tried To Smile Like I Wasn't About To Die.

Her Perfume Was A Mixture Of Roses And Tear Gas.

All I Could Think Of Was That The Teachers Must've Found The Illegal Stash Of Candy I'd Been Selling Out Of My Dorms Room. Or Maybe They'd Realized I Got My Essay On Tom Sawyer From The Internet Without Ever Reading The Book And Now They Were Going To Take Away My Grade. Or Worse, They Were Going To Make Me Read The Book.

My Name Is Zia Rashid.” She Tilted Her Head As If Listening. Right On Cue, The Entire Building Rumbled. Dust Sprinkled From The Ceiling, And The Slithering Sounds Of Scorpion Doubled In Volume Behind Us. “and Right Now,” Zia Continued, Sounding A Bit Disappointed, “i Must Save Your Miserable Lives.

Oh, Did You Expect Me To Play Fair?" Cupid Laughed. "i Am The God Of Love. I Am Never Fair.

Spontaneous Combustion Is A Form Of Harm, Mr. D," Chiron Put In.

When In Doubt, Start From The Top. -jason Grace

A Half-blood Of The Eldest Gods, Shall Reach Sixteen Against All Odds And See The World In Endless Sleep The Hero's Soul, Cursed Blade Shall Reap A Single Choice Shall End His Days Olympus To Preserve Or Raze.

At The Feast Of Fortune, She'll Awaken, And The Demigods Will Be Cut Down Like-- Like---" "like Our Low Prices At Bargain Mart!" Stheno Suggested.

Um ,sorry. I Cant Read The Last Line." "fish. Have You Stolen Any Fish From The Holy Lakes?" "i Lived In Kansas..so ..no

Leo's Biggest Surprise: One Look From Jason, And All Three Of Them Knew The Game Plan. When Had That Happened, That They Could Read Each Other So Well?

See You On The Other Side. -percy Jackson

Are You Kidding?" She Looked At Me As If I'd Just Dropped From The Moon. Her Cheeks Were Bright Red. "what's The Problem Now?" I Demanded. "me, Go With You To The...the 'thrill Ride Of Love'? How Embarrassing Is That? What If Somebody Saw Me?" "who's Going To See You?" But My Face Was Burning Now, Too. Leave It To A Girl To Make Everything Complicated. "fine," I Told Her. "i'll Do It Myself." But When I Started Down The Side Of The Pool, She Followed Me, Muttering About How Boys Always Messed Things Up.

Tyson- "cash? Like...green Paper?" Percy- "yeah." Tyson- "like The Kind In Duffel Bags?" Percy-"yeah, But We Lost Those Bags Days A-g-g--." "tyson! How Did You--" Tyson- "thought It Was A Feed Bag For Rainbow. Found It Floating In Sea, But Only Paper Inside. Sorry.

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

I Was Five Steps Away When He Called, "perseus." I Turned. There Was A Different Light In His Eyes, A Fiery Kind Of Pride. "you Did Well, Perseus. Do Not Misunderstand Me. Whatever Else You Do, Know That You Are Mine. You Are A True Son Of The Sea God.

Bessie?” I Looked Down At The Bull Serpent. “but… He’s Too Cute. He Couldn’t Destroy The World.” -percy Jackson

Oh, Lord. I Was Beginning To Think Like Neith. Soon I'd Be Huddled In An Underground Bunker Eating Army Rations And Cackling As I Sewed Together The Pockets Of All The Boys Who'd Jilted Me.

You Assume That It Has To Be A Male God Who Finds A Human Female Attractive? How Sexist Is That?

One The Next Corner Stood A Cinder Block Restaurant With A Hand-painted Sign That Read Chicken & Waffles. There Was A Queue Of Twenty People Outside. “you Americans Have The Strangest Taste. What Planet Is This?

On A Basketball Court, Five Players Were In The Middle Of An Intense Game. They Wore Assortment Of Jerseys From Different American Teams, And They All Seemed Keen To Win—grunting And Snarling At Each Other, Stealing The Ball And Pushing. Oh…and The Players Were All Baboons.

Keep Climbing,' He Told Himself. 'cheeseburgers,' His Stomach Replied. 'shut Up,' He Thought. 'with Fries,' His Stomach Complained.

Your Head Is Full Of Kelp.

Love Is On Every Side, And No One's Side. Don't Ask What Love Can Do For You.

Monsters Don't Die. They Just Dissipate Into Smoke And Dust, Which Saves Heroes A Lot Of Trouble Cleaning Up After A Fight.

I Held Out A Lead Figurine Of Hades—the Little Mythomagic Statue Nico Had Abandoned When He Fled Camp Last Winter. Nico Hesitated. "i Don’t Play That Game Anymore. It’s For Kids." "it’s Got Four Thousand Attack Power," I Coaxed. "five Thousand," Nico Corrected. "but Only If Your Opponent Attacks First." I Smiled. "maybe It’s Okay To Still Be A Kid Once In A While.

The Driver Got Out Smiling. He Looked About Seventeen Or Eighteen, And For A Second, I Had The Uneasy Feeling It Was Luke, My Old Enemy. This Guy Had The Same Sandy Hair And Outdoorsy Good Looks. But It Wasn't Luke. His Smile Was Brighter And More Playful. (luke Didn't Do Much More Than Scowl And Sneer These Days.) The Maserati Driver Wore Jeans And Loafers And A Sleeveless T-shirt. "wow" Thalia Muttered. Apollo Is Hot." "he's The Sun God," I Said. "that's Not What I Meant.

Is It Fair Your Life Burns So Short And Bright? Death Had Asked. "no Such Thing As Fair," Frank Told Himself. "if I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

I Apologize For Apologizing." "thank You.

One Down," Beckendorf Said. "about Five Thousand To Go." He Tossed Me A Jar Of Thick Green Liquid—greek Fire, One Of The Most Dangerous Magical Substances In The World. Then He Threw Me Another Essential Tool Of Demigod Heroes—duct Tape

Coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll-i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

Right," She Said, "we're Going To The Land Of The Dead And I Shouldn't Think Negative.

Don't Feel Bad, I'm Usually About To Die.

Cabin Fifteen Does That To Everyone," Annabeth Warned. "if You Ask Me, This Place Is Even More Dangerous Than The Ares Cabin. At Least With Ares, You Can Learn Where The Land Mines Are." "land Mines?

I Stared At Him (dionysus). "you're...you're Married? But I Thought You Got In Trouble For Chasing A Wood Nymph-

Laistrygonians. Cannibals. Northern Giants. Sasquatch Legend. Yep, Yep. They Are Not Birds. Not Birds Of North America.

The Future For Commander Tool Belt Was Not Looking So Hot.

Jeez, Hazel," Percy Said, "tell Your Horse To Watch His Language." Hazel Tried Not To Laugh. "what Did He Say?" "with The Cussing Removed? He Said He Can Get Us To The Top." Frank Looked Incredulous. "i Thought The Horse Couldn't Fly!" This Time Arion Whinnied So Angrily, Even Hazel Could Guess He Was Cursing. "dude," Percy Told The Horse, "i've Gotten Suspended For Saying Less Than That.

Yeah." He Took One Last Look At The Cityscape Of Rome, Turning Bloodred In The Sunset. "festus, Raise The Sails. We've Got Some Friends To Save.

The Eidolons Started Pounding On The Door. 'who Is It?' Leo Called. 'valdez!' 'valdez Who?

Like Water Leaking Through A Dam," Said Piper. "yeah," Smiled Percy. "we've Got A Dam Hole." "what?" Piper Asked. "nothing," He Said. "inside Joke.

Some Pain Shouldn’t Be Wished Away So Easily. It Has To Be Dealt With, Even Embraced.

She Looked At Me, Like She Was Drinking In The Fact That I Was Still Here. And I Realized I Was Doing The Same Thing. The World Was Collapsing, And The Only Thing That Really Mattered To Me Was That She Was Alive.

She Stared At Me. "fly, ;ole, In An Airplane, Which You Were Warned Never To Do Lest Zeus Strike You Out Of The Sky, And Carrying A Weapon That Has More Destructive Power Than A Nuclear Bomb?" "yeah," I Said. "pretty Much Exactly Like That.

Doughboy," I Said. "what Is This Scroll?" "a Spell Lost In Time!" He Pronounced. "ancient Words Of Tremendous Power!" "well?" I Demanded. "does It Tell How To Defeat Set?" "better! The Title Reads: The Book Of Summoning Fruit Bats!

It Almost Made Me Long For The Flying Pig. --percy

Your Uncle," Poseidon Sighed, "has Always Had A Flair For Dramatic Exits. I Think He Would've Done Well As The God Of Theater.

I'm So Glad You're Here," Aphrodite Said. "war Is Coming. Bloodshed Is Inevitable. So There's Really Only One Thing To Do." "uh... And That Is?" Annabeth Ventured. "why, Have Tea And Chat, Obviously

You Must Forge Your Own Path For It To Mean Anything.

Mark My Words, Nothing Smells Worse Than Burned Scorpion.

Out Of The Corner Of His Eye, He Saw Tyson Pounding The Earthborn Into The Ground Like A Game Of Whack-a-mole. Ella Was Fluttering Above Him, Dodging Missiles And Calling Out Advice: "the Groin. The Earthborn's Groin Is Sensitive." Smash! "good. Yes. Tyson Found Its Groin.

Ever Hold Your Hand Over A Torch (sorry, A Flashlight For You Americans).

Travis: I Didn’t Know They Made Permanent Makeup. I Looked Like A Clown For A Month. Connor: Yeah. They Put A Curse On Me So That No Matter What I Wore, My Clothes Were Two Sizes Too Small And I Felt Like A Geek. Travis: You Are A Geek.

Jumping Out A Window Five Hundred Feet Above Ground Is Not Usually My Idea Of Fun. Especially When I'm Wearing Bronze Wings And Flapping My Arms Like A Duck.

Sadie Kane Here. If You're Listening To This, Congratulations, You Survived Doomsday.

Congratulations

The Friday Before Winter Break, My Mom Packed Me An Overnight Bag And A Few Deadly Weapons And Took Me To A New Boarding School.

Desjardins Was Literally Fuming. His Tattered Robes Still Smoked From Battle. (carter Says I Shouldn’t Mention That His Pink Boxer Shorts Were Showing, But They Were!)

It’s Not Important,” Silena Insisted. “we Have To Find Charlie!” Another First: A Child Of Aphrodite Uninterested In Jewellery.

So," Annabeth Said, "are You Going To Argue About Me Coming Along?" "nah. You'd Just Beat Me Up." Percy Said. She Managed A Laugh, Which Was Good To Hear

Now I'd Like To Tell U I Did Something Heroic Like Stand Up Against A Raging Team Of Fire-breathing Horses With Only My Sword The Truth Is I Ran.

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

Otis Barreled Towards Them Empty-handed, Before Apparently Realizing That A) He Was Empty-handed And B) Charging Towards A Large Body Of Water To Fight A Son Of Poseidon Was Maybe Not A Good Idea.

I Guess It Wasn't Everyday They See A Yellow Lifeboat With No Engine Going A Hundred Knots An Hour, Manned By Three Kids.

I Plucked A Ruby Off The Nearest Plant And Threw It At Hades.

I Stick Closely To The Structure Of The Myths. I May Have Some Fun With The Mythology By Changing The Environment To Modern-day, But The Structure Of The Myths, The Monsters, The Relationships Of The Gods - None Of That Is Made Up.

Tyson," I Said "we're Turning Around!" Going The Wrong Way?" He Asked. Always," I Grumbled, But I Steered The Chariot Towards The Stands.

Most Of Set’s Forces Were Running Towards Our Boat, Screaming And Throwing Rocks (which Tended To Fall Down And Hit Them, But No One Says Demons Are Bright).

I Haven't Devoured A Soul In...what Month Is This? March?

And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

If Anybody Felt Worse Than I Did, It Was Amos. I Had Just Enough Magic To Turn Myself Into A Falcon And Him Into A Hamster (hey, I Was Rushed!)

Frank Heard A Laugh Behind Him. He Glanced Back And Couldn't Believe What He Saw. Nico Di Angelo Was Actually Smiling. "that's More Like It," Nico Said. "let's Turn This Tide!

Briefly, The Nymphaeum Glowed With A Softer Light, Like A Full Moon. Piper Smelled Exotic Spices And Blooming Roses. She Heard Distant Music And Happy Voices Talking And Laughing. She Guessed She Was Hearing Hundreds Of Years Of Parties And Celebrations That Had Been Held At This Shrine In Ancient Times, As If The Memories Had Been Freed Along With The Spirits. 'what Is That?' Jason Asked Nervously. Piper Slipped Her Hand Into His. 'the Ghosts Are Dancing.

Survive First. Figure Out Crayon Drawing Of Destiny Later.

Leo Had Wanted To Paint A Giant Message On The Bottom Of The Hull-wassup? With A Smiley-face-but Annabeth Had Vetoed The Idea.

A Truly Great Artist Has Many Talents.

How Do I Defeat Apophis?” “i’m So Glad You Asked!” Thoth Beamed At Me With His Multicolored Eyes. “unfortunately, I Can’t Tell You.” I Glanced At Walt. “do You Want To Kill Him, Or Should I?

Hazel Screamed At The Top Of Her Lungs, But It Was A Scream Of Delight. For The First Time In Her Life-in Her Two Lives-she Felt Absolutely Unstoppable.

Annabeth Frowned. "that Doesn't Make Sense. But Why Were You Visiting --" Her Eyes Widened. "hermes Said You Bear The Curse Of Achilles. Hestia Said The Same Thing. Did You . . . Did You Bathe In The River Styx?" "don't Change The Subject." "percy! Did You Or Not?" "um . . .maybe A Little.

Set Screamed Something In Ancient Egyptian. I Was Fairly Sure It Wasn’t A Compliment. “i Will Rend Your Limbs From Their Sockets!” He Shouted. “i Will—” “die?” Carter Suggested.

She Led The Way. Eyeless Sockets Of The Dead Seemed To Stare At Them As They Passed. "these Are Cool," Dan Decided. "maybe I Could-" "no, Dan," Amy Said. "you Can't Collect Human Bones." "awww.

Are You Suggesting That The Gods Have Trouble Acting Together, Young Lady?" Dionysus Asked. Yes, Lord Dionysus." Mr. D Nodded. "just Checking. You're Right, Of Course. Carry On.

How Do You Have Five Children In A Row, Each On A Different Say?” “they’re Gods,” Carter Said. “they Can Do Stuff Like That.

I Felt Like One Of Apollo's Sacred Cows- Slow, Dumb, And Bright Red.

To A Degree, The Greek And Roman Mythological Heroes Are Just The First Superheroes. They Appeal To Children For Much The Same Reason. These Gods And Heroes May Have Powers, But They Get Angry And They Do The Wrong Thing. They Are Human Too.

Then Something Occurred To Me. "get Closer," I Told Blackjack. He Whinnied In Protest. "just Within Shouting Distance," I Said. "i Need To Talk To The Statue." Now I'm Sure You've Lost It, Boss, Blackjack Said

Oh, Don't Mind Me! Just The Queen Of The Heavens, Dying Over Here!

I Prayed The Monsters Would Give Up. Or That Perhaps Philip Of Macedonia Would Climb Back To The Terrace (do Crocodiles Climb?) And Renew The Fight.

Blowfish, Did You Say?" "ah, No. Blofis, Actually." "oh, I See," Poseidon Said. "a Shame. I Quite Like Blowfish.

If You've Ever Tried Ba Travel, I Wouldn't Recommend It-- Unless Of Course You Fancy Turning Into A Phantom Chicken And Rafting Uncontrollably Through The Currents Of The Duat.

See, Bad Things Happen To Me On Field Trips. Like At My Fifth-grade School, When We Went To The Saratoga Battlefield, I Had This Accident With A Revolutionary War Cannon. I Wasn't Aiming For The School Bus, But Of Course I Got Expelled Anyway. - Percy Jackson

Nothing Lasts Forever, Not Even The Best Machines. And Everything Can Be Reused. - Hephaestus

You Mix Greek And Roman, You Know What You Get? You Get Bam!

You Know How Teachers Tell You The Magic Word Is 'please'? That's Not True. The Magic Word Is 'puke'. It Will Get You Out Of Class Faster Than Anything Else.

You Cannot Imprison Me!" He Bellowed. "i Am Hyperion! I Am-" The Bark Closed Over His Face. Grover Took His Pipes From His Mouth. "you Are A Very Nice Maple Tree.

Amos Sipped His Coffee. The Faraway Look On His Face Reminded Me Of My Dad. “i Don’t Want To Scare You.” “too Late.

Piper Went A Little Crazy. She Cried Out With Relief And Dove Straight Into The Water. What Was She Thinking? She Didn't Take A Rope Or A Life Vest Or Anything. But At The Moment, She Was Just So Happy That She Paddled Over To Leo And Kissed Him On The Cheek, Which Kind Of Surprised Him. "miss Me?" Leo Laughed. Piper Was Suddenly Furious. "where Were You? How Are You Guys Alive?" "long Story," He Said. A Picnic Basket Bobbed To The Surface Next To Him. "want A Brownie?

Ma’at Demands A Leader.” “yeah So I’ve Heard.

Must’ve Been Hard On Your Mom,” Frank Said. “i Guess We’ll Do Anything For Someone We Love.” Hazel Squeezed His Hand Appreciatively. Nico Stared At The Cobblestones. “yeah,” He Said Bitterly. “i Guess We Will.

Tell You What," I Said. "after The Testing After The Demon Days, When Things Settle Down -" "things Won't Settle Down." "- I'm Going To Take You To The Mall." She Blinked. "the Mall? For What Reason?" "to Hang Out," I Said. "we'll Get Some Hamburgers. See A Movie." Zia Hesitated. "is This What You'd Call A 'date'?" My Expression Must Have Been Priceless, Because Zia Actually Cracked A Smile. "you Look Like A Cow Hit With A Shovel.

New Lesson, Class. Most Monsters Will Vaporize When Sliced With A Celestial Bronze Sword. This Change Is Perfectly Normal, And Will Happen To You Right Now If You Don't Back Off!" - Percy

Perfectly Normal

I Had A Crush On Percy," Nico Spat. "that's The Truth. That's The Big Secret.

Now Fight Me! For Today Thee House Of Hades Will Be Called The Saviors Of Olympus.

I Told You I Try Not To Live In The Past And Nothing Could Change The Fact That My Mum Was Gone. But I’m A Liar. The Truth Was, I’d Had One Dream Ever Since I Was Six: To See My Mum Again. To Actually Get To Know Her, Talk To Her, Go Shopping, Do Anything. Just Be With Her Once So I Could Have A Better Memory To Hold On To.

I, Horus, Son Of Osiris, Claim The Throne Of The Heavens As My Birthright!" He Shouted."what Was Once Mine Shall Be Mine Again.is There Anyone Who Would Challenge Me?" The Gods Flickered And Glowed. A Few Scowled. One Muttered Something That Sounded Like "cheese", Although That Could've Been My Imagination.

I Imagined Having That Bronzed Dragon In Our Fight Against The Titan Lord Kronos. His Monsters Would Think Twice About Attacking Camp If They Have To Face That Thing. On The Other Hand, If The Dragon Decided To Go Berserk Again And Attack The Campers-that Would Pretty Much Stink.

I Can’t Believe How Much This Place Has Grown,” Hazel Muttered. The Taxi Driver Grinned In The Rearview Mirror. “been A Long Time Since You Visited, Miss?” “about Seventy Years,” Hazel Said. The Driver Slid The Glass Partition Closed And Drove On In Silence.

He Was Making A Brave Attempt, But Jason Could See The Sadness Lingering In His Eyes. Something Had Happened To Him... Something To Do With Calypso.

Why Does It Have To Be So Hard? Why Can't It Be A Happily-ever-after Ride-into-the-sunset Feeling All The Time?

She Reached Into Her Coat Pocket And Felt Two Things She Hadn't Expected.... One Was A Wad Of Cash... She Brought Out The Money. Leo Whistled. "allowance? Piper, Your Mom Rocks!

Great. I've Made A Friend.

I Remembered The Myth About Andromeda And How She Had Been Chained To A Rock By Her Own Parents As A Sacrifice To A Sea Monster. Maybe She'd Gotten Too Many F's On Her Report Card Or Something.

Evil Is Easy To Fight. Lack Of Wisdom...that Is Very Hard Indeed.

Jason Scratched His Head. "you Named Him Festus? You Know That In Latin, ‘festus’ Means ‘happy’? You Want Us To Ride Off To Save The World On Happy The Dragon?

I Was A Fight To The Death, And I Felt Great.

No Hero Is Above Fear.

Coach Hedge Shouted, 'let The Movie Star Go, You Big Ugly Cupcake! Or I'm Gonna Plant My Hoof Right Up Your...

Aphrodite: Pfft. That's Not The Point. Follow Your Heart. Percy: But... I Don't Know Where It's Going. My Heart, I Mean.

I Tried To Think Of Something To Say. Excuse Me? Hello? Marry Me? Anything Would Have Done.

Despicable Creatures, Vultures: Without A Doubt The Most Disgusting Birds Ever. I Suppose They Served Their Purpose, But Did They Have To Be So Greasy And Ugly? Couldn't We Have Cute Fuzzy Rabbits That Cleaned Up Roadkill Instead?

Beckendorf Closed Eyes Tight And Brought His Hand Up To His Watch. From That Distance, The Explosion Shook The World. Heat Seared The Back Of My Head. The Princess Andromeda Blew Up From Both Sides, A Massive Fireball Of Green Flame Roiling Into The Dark Sky, Consuming Everything....i Stared Out The Window Into Deep Blue Water. Beckendorf Was Supposed To Go To College In The Fall. He Had A Girlfriend, Lots Of Friends, His Whole Life Ahead Of Him. He Couldn't Be Gone.

Big Brothers Are The Ones Who Are Supposed To Pull Their Punches. Little Sisters—well, We Should Be Able To Hit As Hard As We Like, Shouldn’t We?

My Girlfriend: Sophomore Honors Student, Demigod, And — Oh, Yeah — Head Architect For Redesigning The Palace Of The Gods On Mount Olympus In Her Spare Time.

The Answer To Every Problem Involved Penguins

Yeah, My Bad," Leo Muttered. "i Should've Crashed On One Of The Other Islands. Oh, Wait-there Aren't Any!" She [calypso] Snarled And Kept Walking Along The Edge Of The Water.

Chiron, I Don't Think The Attic Is The Proper Place For Our New Oracle, Do You?" "no, Indeed." Chiron Looked A Lot Better Now That Apollo Had Worked Some Medical Magic On Him. "rachel May Use A Guest Room In The Big House For Now, Until We Give The Matter More Thought." "i'm Thinking A Cave In The Hills," Apollo Mused. "with Torches And A Big Purple Curtain Over The Entrance . . . Really Mysterious. But Inside, A Totally Decked-out Pad With A Game Room And One Of Those Home Theater Systems.

Dealing With Any Man Means Dealing With Multiple Personalities.

Just Sit Tight. Reinforcements Should Be Here Soon. Hopefully Nothing Happens Before-" Lightning Crackled Overhead. The Wind Picked Up With A Vengeance. Worksheets Flew Into The Grand Canyon, And The Entire Bridge Shuddered. Kids Screamed, Stumbling And Grabbing The Rails. "i Had To Say Something," Hedge Grumbled. He Bellowed Into His Megaphone: "everyone Inside! The Cow Says Moo! Off The Skywalk!" "i Thought You Said This Thing Was Stable!" Jason Shouted Over The Wind. "under Normal Circumstances," Hedge Agreed, "which These Aren't.

Is That Me?,' Leo Said. 'like Me--having This Dream--looking At Me Having A Dream?

There's Another Problem," Percy Said. "i'm Not Good With Air Travel. It's Dangerous For A Son Of Neptune." "you'll Have To Risk It...and So Will I," Frank Said. "by The Way, We're Related." Percy Almost Stumbled Off The Roof. "what?

Dreams Like A Podcast, Downloading Truth In My Ears. They Tell Me Cool Stuff." "apollo?" I Guess, Because I Figured Nobody Else Could Make A Haiku That Bad. He Put His Finger To His Lips. "i'm Incognito. Call Me Fred." "a God Named Fred?

Genius Does Not Excuse Evil.

We’re Staying Together,” He Promised. “you’re Not Getting Away From Me. Never Again.” Only Then Did She Understand What Would Happen. A One-way Trip. A Very Hard Fall. ”as Long As We’re Together,” She Said. She Heard Nico And Hazel Still Screaming For Help. She Saw Sunlight Far, Far Above- Maybe The Last Sunlight She Would Ever See. Then Percy Let Go Of His Ledge, And Together, Holding Hands, He And Annabeth Fell Into The Endless Darkness.

She Had To Go On This Quest. The Fate Of The World Might Depend On It. But Part Of Him Wanted To Say: Forget The World. He Didn’t Want To Be Without Her.

Grover: It’s A Very Sweet Love Story. I Get Misty-eyed Every Time I Play It. So Does Percy, But I Think That’s Because He’s Laughing At Me.

Hmm…” Jason Snapped His Fingers. “i Can Call A Friend For A Ride.” Percy Raised His Eyebrows. “oh, Yeah? Me Too. Let's See Whose Friend Gets Here First.

He Had A Note Excusing Him From Pe For The Rest Of His Life Because He Had Some Kind Of Muscular Disease In His Legs. He Walked Funny, Like Every Step Hurt Him, But Don't Let That Fool You. You Should've Seen Him Run When It Was Enchilada Day In The Cafeteria.

I Do Not Know How Much They See Through The Mist. I Doubt It Would Matter To Them If They Knew The Truth. Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

Oh, Dear Hazel.” Aphrodite Folded Her Fan. “such Optimism, Yet You Have Heartrending Days Ahead Of You. Of Course War Is Coming. Love And War Always Go Together. They Are The Peaks Of Human Emotion! Evil And Good, Beauty And Ugliness.

I Turned To Annabeth And Shook My Head In Exasperation. “always Hercules. What Is It With Hercules?” Annabeth Shrugged. “he Had A Great Publicist.

He Offered To Stop The Tide For Me Once. He Offered To Build Me A Palace At The Bottom Of The Sea.

You Both Passed Out,” Percy Said. “i Don’t Know Why, But Ella Told Me Not To Worry About It. She Said You Were…sharing?” “sharing,” Ella Agreed. She Crouched In The Stern, Preening Her Wing Feathers With Her Teeth, Which Didn’t Look Like A Very Effective Form Of Personal Hygiene. She Spit Out Some Red Fluff. “sharing Is Good. No More Blackouts. Biggest American Blackout, August 14, 2003. Hazel Shared. No More Blackouts.” Percy Scratched His Head. “yeah…we’ve Been Having Conversations Like That All Night. I Still Don’t Know What She’s Talking About.

Don't Die On Me," She Ordered. "you Are Not Dying On Me." "yes, Ma'am." He Felt Light-headed, But She Was About The Most Beautiful Thing He'd Ever Seen. Her Hair Was Smoldering. Her Face Was Smudged With Soot. She Had A Cut On Her Arm, Her Dress Was Torn, And She Was Missing A Boot. Beautiful.

People Of Earth, I Come In Peace!

A Vampire!" I Stammered. Then I Noticed Her Legs. Below The Cheerleader Skirt, Her Left Leg Was Brown And Shaggy With A Donkey's Hoof. Her Right Leg Was Shaped Like A Human Leg Was It Was Made Of Bronze. "uhh, A Vampire With-" "don't Mention The Legs!" Tammi Snapped. "it's Rude To Make Fun.

You Want To Know How Egyptians Pulled The Brains Out Of Mummies. Or Built The Pyramids, Or Cursed King Tut's Tomb? My Dad's Your Man.

Right.” Sadie Looked Dazed. “you’ve Got A Monkey Butler. Why Not?

Looking Up In The Sky, I Saw The Stars Were Brighter Now. They Made A Pattern I Had Never Noticed Before- A Gleaming Constellation That Looked A Lot Like A Girls Figure- A Girl With A Bow, Running Across The Sky. "let The World Honor You, My Huntress. Live Forever In The Stars.

The End Of The World Started When A Pegasus Landed On The Hood Of My Car

Teachers And Librarians Are Some Of My Favorite People, Especially Since I Was A Teacher Myself. I Love Talking To Them Because They Have Wonderful Ideas About How To Share Books, And Especially About How To Share My Books With Kids.

On The Bright Side," Percy Said, "both Jason And I Outrank You, Octavian. So We Can Both Tell You To Shut Up.

Destroy Them Later?" Cal Offered, Which Was Probably As Close To Friendly As He Ever Got.

I Want To Build Some Thing Permanent.

[jason] Faltered When He Looked At Leo, Who Was Mimicking Taking Notes With An Air Pencil. “go On, Professor Grace!” He Said, Wide-eyed. “i Wanna Get An A On The Test.

This Is Buford,” Leo Announced. “you Name Your Furniture?” Frank Asked.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

What-what Do You Want?" Annabeth Asked, Trying To Maintain A Tone Of Confidence. The Voice Cackled Maliciously. 'to Curse You, Of Course! To Destroy You Thousand Times In The Name Of Mother Night!' "only A Thousand Times?" Percy Murmured. "oh, Good...i Thought We Were In Trouble.

Right,” I Said. “so The Baboon, The Crocodile…any Other Pets I Should Know About?” Amos Thought For A Moment. “visible Ones? No, I Think That’s It.

"aphrodite," She Said. "venus?" Hazel Asked In Amazement. "mom," Piper Said, With No Enthusiasm.

The Real Story Of The Fleece: There Were These Two Children Of Zeus, Cadmus And Europa, Okay? They Were About To Get Offered Up As Human Sacrifices, When They Prayed To Zeus To Save Them. So Zeus Sent This Magical Flying Ram With Golden Wool, Which Picked Them Up In Greece And Carried Them All The Way To Colchis In Asia Minor. Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important." "it Was Probably Important To Her.

The Romans Always Wanted Bread And Circuses-food And Entertainement! As We Destroy Their City, I Will Offer Them Both. Behold, A Sample!" Someething Dropped From The Ceiling And Landed At Percy's Feet: A Loaf Of Sandwich Bread In A White Plastic Wrapper With Red And Yellow Dots. Percy Picked It Up. "wonder Bread?" "magnificent, Isn't It?" Ephialtes Eyes Danced With Crazy Excitement.

Just Remember If We Get Caught, You're Deaf And I Don't Speak English.

Frank Stared At Her. "but You Throw Ding Dongs At Monsters." Iris Looked Horrified. "oh, They're Not Ding Dongs." She Rummaged Under The Counter And Brought Out A Package Of Chocolate Covered Cakes That Looked Exactly Like Ding Dongs. "these Are Gluten-free, No-sugar-added, Vitamin-enriched, Soy-free, Goat-milk-and-seaweed-based Cupcake Simulations." "all Natural!" Fleecy Chimed In. "i Stand Corrected." Frank Suddenly Felt As Queasy As Percy.

What The Creeping Crud Is That?" [percy] Demanded. "you’re Inside A Giant Glowing Chicken-man!" "hawk!" I Yelled. I Decided That If I Survived This Day I Would Have To Make Sure This Guy Never Met Sadie. They’d Probably Take Turns Insulting Me For The Rest Of Eternity.

Lightning Thief Was Good But The Sea Of Monsters Is Better And Has More Action!

Annabeth, Thank Goodness, Would Be Staying In New York. She'd Gotten Permission From Her Parents To Attend A Boarding School In The City So She Could Be Close To Olympus And Oversee The Rebuilding Efforts. "and Close To Me?" I Asked. "well, Someone's Got A Big Sense Of His Own Importance." But She Laced Her Fingers Through Mine. I Remembered What She'd Told Me In New York, About Building Something Permanent, And I Thought—just Maybe—we Were Off To A Good Start.

Percy Was Getting Tired Of Water. If He Said That Aloud, He Would Probably Get Kicked Out Of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, But He Didn’t Care.

George Unhinged His Jaw And Coughed Up A Little Plastic Bottle Filled With Chewable Vitamins. "you're Kidding," I Said. "are Those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes Picked Up The Bottle And Rattled It. "the Lemon Ones, Yes. The Grape Ones Are Furies, I Think. Or Are They Hydras? At Any Rate, These Are Potent."

What Are These Guys?" He Whispered "canadians," Percy Said. Frank Leaned Away From Him. "excuse Me?" "uh, No Offense," Percy Said. "that's What Annabeth Called Them When I Fought Them Before. She Said They Live In The North, In Canada." "yeah, Well," Frank Grumbled, "we're In Canada. I'm Canadian. But I've Never Seen Those Things Before.

I Should Throw You Off This Building Minus The Flying Horse And See How Heroic You Sound On The Way Down.

We Walked On The Beach, Fed Blue Corn Ships To The Seagulls, And Munched On Blue Jelly Beans, Blue Saltwater Taffy And All The Other Free Samples My Mom Brought Home From Work. I Guess I Should Explain The Blue Food. See, Gabe Had Once Told My Mom There Was No Such Thing. They Had This Fight, Which Seemed Like A Really Small Thing At The Time. But Ever Since, My Mom Went Out Of Her Way To Eat Blue. She Baked Blue Birthday Cakes. She Mixed Blueberry Smoothies. She Bought Blue-corn Tortilla Chips And Brought Home Blue Candy From The Shop.

Oh, My Dear! I’m Afraid You’ve Mistaken Me For Someone Else! My Name Is Rhea Silvia. I Was The Mother To Romulus And Remus, Thousands Of Years Ago. But You’re So Kind To Think I Look As Young As The 1950s.

Everybody-even Monsters-needed A Little Attention Once In A While.

As A Magician, You Must Think About Chaos And Order. Those Are The Two Forces That Control The Universe.

What Are You?” She Demanded. “my Dad? Osiris? Are You Even Alive?” Dad Looked At Anubis. “what Did I Tell You About Her? Fiercer Than Ammit, I Said.” “you Didn’t Need To Tell Me That.” Anubis’s Face Was Grave. “i’ve Learned To Fear That Sharp Tongue.” Sadie Looked Outraged. “excuse Me?

Imagine Jumping Into A Pit Of Boiling Acid. Now Multiply That Pain Times Fifty." -percy

Think Positive Girl, Or The World Ends.

I Picked Up Pandora's Jar. The Spirit Of Hope Fluttered Inside, Trying To Warm The Cold Container. "hestia," I Said, "i Give This To You As An Offering." The Goddess Tilted Her Head. "i Am The Least Of The Gods. Why Would You Trust Me With This?" "you're The Last Olympian," I Said. "and The Most Important." "and Why Is That, Percy Jackson?" "because Hope Survives Best At The Hearth," I Said. "guard It For Me, And I Won't Be Tempted To Give Up Again."

Knowledge Isn't Always Good For You.

I Always Love It When I Hear Back From Kids Who Say They Discovered Percy Jackson And Now Wear Their Learning Difference As A Badge Of Honour.

My Dear, I'm A Cat. Everything I See Is Mine.

Poseidon Grinned. "you're Doing Well With Those New Cabins, By The Way. I Suppose This Means I Can Claim All Those Other Sons And Daughters Of Mine And Send You Some Siblings Next Summer." "ha-ha." Poseidon Reeled In His Empty Line. I Shifted My Feet. "um, You Were Kidding, Right?" Poseidon Gave Me One Of His Inside-joke Winks, And I Still Didn't Know Whether He Was Serious Or Not.

I Think Anytime You're Writing To The Middle Grades, You're Writing To Young Readers Who Are Trapped In A Number Of Ways Between Two Worlds: Between Childhood And Adulthood, Between Their Friends And Their Parents.

Leo Scratched His Head. “well I Dunno About Enchiladas-“ “enceladus,” Piper Corrected. “whatever. But Old Potty Face Mentioned Another Name. Porpoise Fear, Or Something?” “porphyrion?” Piper Asked. ”he Was The Giant King, I Think.

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