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The Driver Got Out Smiling. He Looked About Seventeen Or Eighteen, And For A Second, I Had The Uneasy Feeling It Was Luke, My Old Enemy. This Guy Had The Same Sandy Hair And Outdoorsy Good Looks. But It Wasn't Luke. His Smile Was Brighter And More Playful. (luke Didn't Do Much More Than Scowl And Sneer These Days.) The Maserati Driver Wore Jeans And Loafers And A Sleeveless T-shirt. "wow" Thalia Muttered. Apollo Is Hot." "he's The Sun God," I Said. "that's Not What I Meant.

-Rick Riordan

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The Driver Got Out

Rick Riordan

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The Driver Got Out Smiling. He Looked About Seventeen Or Eighteen, And For A Second, I Had The Uneasy Feeling It Was Luke, My Old Enemy. This Guy Had The Same Sandy Hair And Outdoorsy Good Looks. But It Wasn't Luke. His Smile Was Brighter And More Playful. (luke Didn't Do Much More Than Scowl And Sneer These Days.) The Maserati Driver Wore Jeans And Loafers And A Sleeveless T-shirt. "wow" Thalia Muttered. Apollo Is Hot." "he's The Sun God," I Said. "that's Not What I Meant.

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There Will Be Guards,” Bast Said. “and Traps. And Alarms. You Can Bet The House Is Heavily Charmed To Keep Out Gods.” “magicians Can Do That?” I Asked. I Imagined A Big Can Of Pesticide Labeled God-away.

Annabeth Looked At Me. " We Have To Get Out Of Here." " You Think I Want To Be In The Girls' Restroom?" " I Mean The Ship, Percy! We Have To Get Off The Ship." " Smells Bad," Tyson Agreed. " And Dogs Eat All The Eggs. Annabeth Is Right. We Must Leave The Restroom And The Ship.

Oh, Lord. I Was Beginning To Think Like Neith. Soon I'd Be Huddled In An Underground Bunker Eating Army Rations And Cackling As I Sewed Together The Pockets Of All The Boys Who'd Jilted Me.

He Had A Note Excusing Him From Pe For The Rest Of His Life Because He Had Some Kind Of Muscular Disease In His Legs. He Walked Funny, Like Every Step Hurt Him, But Don't Let That Fool You. You Should've Seen Him Run When It Was Enchilada Day In The Cafeteria.

Words Are The Source Of All Power. And Names Are More Than Just A Collection Of Letters.

I Tried Very Hard. But I Can't Help It. The Fates Are Cruel. They Sent You To Me, My Brave One, Knowing That You Would Break My Heart.

The Thing About Plummetting Downhill At Fifty Miles An Hour On A Snack Platter - If You Realize It's A Bad Idea When You're Halfway Down, It's Too Late.

The Sea Does Not Like To Be Restrained.

And Do You Know What A Full-fledged War Would Look Like, Percy?" "bad?" I Guessed. "imagine The World In Chaos. Nature At War With Itself. Olympians Forced To Choose Sides Between Zeus Amd Poseidon. Destruction. Carnage. Millions Dead. Western Civilization Turned Into A Battleground So Big It Will Make The Trojan War Look Like A Water-balloon Fight." "bad," I Repeated.

Leo Frowned At The Giant's Spire. "can't We Blow It Up Or Something?" "without Me, You Do Not Have The Power," Hera Said. "you Might As Well Try To Destroy A Mountain." "done That Once Today," Jason Said.

"all Roads Lead There Child. You Should Know That." "detention?"

Just Keep Moving

Being Turned Into A Lizard Can Really Mess Up Your Day.

Zia," I Said, "that's A Goddess. She Defeated Bast. What Chance Do You Have?" Zia Held Up Her Staff And The Carved Lion's Head Burst Into Flames - A Small Red Fireball So Bright, It Lit The Entire Room. "i Am A Scribe In The House Of Life, Sadie Kane. I Am Trained To Fight Gods.

He Told Me He Wouldn't Hurt... Charlie. He Lied To Me.

Whathat!" Tyson Gasped. "those Are The Stables For The Pegasi," I Replied, "you Know, Winged Horses?" "whasthat!" "um... Those Are The Toilets.

We'd Spent Maybe Ten Minutes Together, During Which Time I'd Accidentally Swung A Sword At Her, She'd Saved My Life, And I'd Run Away Chased By A Band Of Supernatural Killing Machines. You Know, Your Typical Chance Meeting.

Wonderful, Annabeth Thought. Her Own Mother, The Most Levelheaded Olympian, Was Reduced To A Raving, Vicious Scatterbrain In A Subway Station. And, Of All The Gods Who Might Help Them, The Only Ones Not Affected By The Greek-roman Schism Seemed To Be Aphrodite, Nemesis And Dionysus. Love, Revenge, Wine. Very Helpful.

My Eighth Grade Teacher, Mrs. Pabst, Had Done Her Master's Thesis On Tolkien. She Showed Me How The Trilogy Was Patterned After Norse Mythology. She Was Also The First Person To Encourage Me To Submit Stories For Publication. The Idea Of Writing A Fantasy Based On Myths Never Left Me, And Many Years Later, This Would Lead Me To Write Percy Jackson.

She Had To Go On This Quest. The Fate Of The World Might Depend On It. But Part Of Him Wanted To Say: Forget The World. He Didn’t Want To Be Without Her.

If I'm Dead," He Murmured. "why Does It Hurt So Much?

Tell Me When It's Over " Thalia Said. Her Eyes Were Shut Tight. The Statue Was Holding On To Us So We Couldn't Fall But Still Thalia Clutched His Arm Like It Was The Most Important Thing In The World. "everything's Fine " I Promised. "are... Are We Very High " I Looked Down. Below Us A Range Of Snowy Mountains Zipped By. I Stretched Out My Foot And Kicked Snow Off One Of The Peaks. "nah " I Said. "not That High.

Heroes!" Euryale Said With Disgust. "they Always Bring That Up, Just Like Our Mother! 'why Can't You Turn People To Stone? Your Sister Can Turn People To Stone.' Well, I'm Sorry To Disappoint You, Boy! That Was Medusa's Curse Alone. She Was The Most Hideous One In The Family. She Got All The Luck!" Stheno Looked Hurt. "mother Said I Was The Most Hideous.

Since Percy’d Lost His Memory,his Whole Life Was One Big Fillin-the-blank. He Was____________________, From____________________. He Felt Like ____________________, And If The Monsters Caught Him, He’d Be____________________.

Eat Bitter, Taste Sweet," Frank Said. "i Hate That Proverb." "but It's True. What Do They Call It These Days---no Pain, No Gain? Same Concept. You Do The Easy Thing, The Appealing Thing, The Peaceful Thing, Mostly It Turns Out Sour In The End. But If You Take The Hard Path---ah, That's How You Reap The Sweet Rewards. Duty. Sacrifice. They Mean Something.

Annabeth Thalia And I Hadn't Seen Each Other In Months But Between The Blizzard And The Thought Of What We Were About To Do We Were Too Nervous To Talk Much. Except For My Mom. She Talks More When She's Nervous. By The Time We Finally Got To Westover Hall It Was Getting Dark And She'd Told Annabeth And Thalia Every Embarrassing Baby Story There Was To Tell About Me.

Getting Eaten By A Giant Crocodile Was Bad Enough. The Kid With The Glowing Sword Only Made My Day Worse.

Now-what’s Our Game Plan?” Coach Hedge Belched. He’d Already Had Three Espressos And A Plate Of Doughnuts, Along With Two Napkins And Another Flower From The Vase On The Table. He Would’ve Eaten The Silverware, Except Piper Had Slapped His Hand. “climb The Mountain,” Hedge Said. “kill Everything Except Piper’s Dad. Leave.” “thank You General Eisenhower,” Jason Grumbles.

Sometimes Small Things Can Become Very Large, Indeed.

Love Conquers All," Aphrodite Promised. "look At Helen And Paris. Did They Let Anything Come Between Them?" "didn't They Start The Trojan War And Get Thousands Of People Killed?" "pfft. That's Not The Point. Follow Your Heart.

I Don't Care What Your Nose Says! The Last Time You Smelled Half-blood, It Turned Out To Be A Meatloaf Sandwich!" "meatloaf Sandwiches Are Good! But This Is A Half-blood Scent, I Swear. They Are On Board!" "bah, Your Brain Isn't On Board!

Even From Far Away, I Could See People Being Chased By Hellhounds, Burned At The Stake, Forced To Run Naked Through Cactus Patches Or Listen To Opera Music.

Young People Don't Always Do What They're Told, But If They Can Pull It Off And Do Something Wonderful, Sometimes They Escape Punishment.

See You On The Other Side. -percy Jackson

I Couldn’t Miss Percy’s Fifteenth Birthday,” Poseidon Said. “why, If This Were Sparta, Percy Would Be A Man Today!” "that’s True,” Paul Said. “i Used To Teach Ancient History.” Poseidon’s Eyes Twinkled. “that’s Me. Ancient History.

She Stared At Me. "fly, ;ole, In An Airplane, Which You Were Warned Never To Do Lest Zeus Strike You Out Of The Sky, And Carrying A Weapon That Has More Destructive Power Than A Nuclear Bomb?" "yeah," I Said. "pretty Much Exactly Like That.

Hermes Has Threatened Me With Slow Mail. Lousy Internet Service And A Horrible Stock Market If I Publish This Story. I Hope He Is Just Bluffing.

Menshikov Wants To See The Old Gold Swallowed By Apophis. He Wants To See The World Plunged Into Darkness And Chaos. He Is Quite Insane. "oh." [great Response, I Know. But What Do You Say To A Story Like That?]

Even His Hair Was Bigger—a Massive Globe Of Blue-black Frizz So Thick That His Lobster-claw Horns Appeared To Be Drowning As They Tried To Swim Their Way To The Surface. “is That Why They Named You Aphros?” Leo Asked As They Glided Down The Path From The Cave. “because Of The Afro?” Aphros Scowled. “what Do You Mean?” “nothing,” Leo Said Quickly.

There Is Always A Way Out For Those Clever Enough To Find It.

Together We Made Our Way Down To The Street Level. Neither Of Us Said A Word. The Music Was Awful--neil Diamond Or Something. I Should've Made That Part Of My Gift Form The Gods: Better Elevator Tunes.

Eat Bitter, Taste Sweet

I Love New York. You Can Pop Out Of The Underworld In Central Park, Hail A Taxi, Head Down Fifth Avenue With A Giant Hellhound Loping Behind You, And Nobody Even Looks At You Funny.

She Looked At Me, Like She Was Drinking In The Fact That I Was Still Here. And I Realized I Was Doing The Same Thing. The World Was Collapsing, And The Only Thing That Really Mattered To Me Was That She Was Alive.

But I Felt As If I’d Just Been Photoshopped Out Of My Own Book Cover. And If There Was One Thing I Wasn’t Used To, It Was Being Ignored

What Are These Guys?" He Whispered "canadians," Percy Said. Frank Leaned Away From Him. "excuse Me?" "uh, No Offense," Percy Said. "that's What Annabeth Called Them When I Fought Them Before. She Said They Live In The North, In Canada." "yeah, Well," Frank Grumbled, "we're In Canada. I'm Canadian. But I've Never Seen Those Things Before.

I Sailed On The Cold Air Currents Above The Rooftops Of Paris. I Could See The River, The Louvre Museum, The Gardens And Palaces. And A Mouse-yum. Hang On, Carter, I Thought. Not Hunting Mice.

The Other Thing That Troubled Me: Dad Was Clutching His Workbag. Usually When He Does That, It Means We're In Danger. Like The Time Gunmen Stormed Into Our Hotel In Cairo. I Heard Shots Coming From The Lobby And Ran Downstairs To Check On My Dad. By The Time I Got There, He Was Just Calmly Zipping Up His Workbag While Three Unconscious Gunmen Hung By Their Feet From The Chandelier, Their Robes Falling Over Their Heads So You Could See Their Boxer Shorts. Dad Claimed Not To Have Witnessed Anything, And In The End The Police Blamed A Freak Chandelier Malfunction.

Leo Dropped Into The Pool And Approched The Cage. "hola, Tia. Little Bit Of Trouble?" She [hera] Crossed Her Arms And Sighed In Exasperation. "don't Inspect Me Like I'm One Of Your Machines, Leo Valdez. Get Me Out Of Here!

Grover Wore His Fake Feet And His Pants To Pass As Human. He Wore A Green Rasta-style Cap, Because When It Rained His Curly Hair Flattened And You Could Just See The Tips Of His Horns. His Bright Orange Backpack Was Full Of Scrap Metal And Apples To Snack On. In His Pocket Was A Set Of Reed Pipes His Daddy Goat Had Carved For Him, Even Though He Only Knew Two Songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 12 And Hilary Duff's "so Yesterday," Both Of Which Sounded Pretty Bad On Reed Pipes.

What Are You Thinking? Nothing. I Mean...a Lot Of Things. Kind Of All At Once.

I Pictured My Mom, Alone In Our Little Apartment On The Upper East Side. I Tried To Remember The Smell Of Her Blue Waffles In The Kitchen. It Seemed So Far Away.

You’re That Lady,” Leo Said. “the One Who Was Named After Caribbean Music.” Her Eyes Glinted Murderously. “caribbean Music.” “yeah. Reggae?” Leo Shook His Head. “merengue? Hold On, I’ll Get It.” He Snapped His Fingers. “calypso!

Tyson Was Still Staring At Chiron In Amazement. He Whimpered Like He Wanted To Pat Chiron's Flank But Was Afraid To Come Closer. "pony?

Leo,” Hazel Gasped, “i Can’t—my Arms—” “hazel,” He Said. “do You Trust Me?” “no!” “me Neither,” Leo Admitted.

Oh No." I Said Panic Rising In My Chest. "no, No, No, Somebody Get A Can Opener. I've Got A God In My Head!!

Deadlines Just Aren't Real To Me Until I'm Staring One In The Face.

Life Is Only Precious Because It Ends, Kid. Take It From A God. You Mortals Don't Know How Lucky You Are

Most People Call It The Book Of The Dead,” He Told Me. “rich Egyptians Were Always Buried With A Copy, So They Could Have Directions Through The Duat To The Land Of The Dead. It’s Like An Idiot’s Guide To The Afterlife.

The Waiter Brought Fresh-baked Bread And Cheese, A Bottle Of Sparkling Water For Annabeth, And A Coke With Ice For Me (because I’m A Barbarian).

I Whistled. "you Have Evil Thoughts For A Goat.

I Imagined Having That Bronzed Dragon In Our Fight Against The Titan Lord Kronos. His Monsters Would Think Twice About Attacking Camp If They Have To Face That Thing. On The Other Hand, If The Dragon Decided To Go Berserk Again And Attack The Campers-that Would Pretty Much Stink.

Thanks For Not Freaking Out," I Said. "oh, I'm Freaking Out," Paul Promised, His Eyes Wide. "i Just Think It's Awesome!

"aphrodite," She Said. "venus?" Hazel Asked In Amazement. "mom," Piper Said, With No Enthusiasm.

Hestia Shook Her Head. "i Am Here Because When All Else Fails, When All The Other Mighty Gods Have Gone Off To War, I Am All That's Left. Home. Hearth. I Am The Last Olympian

Looking At The Elementary Schoolers In Their Colorful T-shirts From Various Day Camps, Percy Felt A Twinge Of Sadness. He Should Be At Camp Half-blood Right Now, Settling Into His Cabin For The Summer, Teaching Sword-fighting Lessons In The Arena, Playing Pranks On The Other Counselors. These Kids Had No Idea Just How Crazy A Summer Camp Could Be.

It's Like I Was Connected To The Plumping System.

Dakota's Head Was Stuck In His Toga. He Staggered Around Olike A Kool-aid-stained Ghost. "um," Percy Said, "should I Wear My Bed Sheets?

It Wasn't Exactly Like Talking, But It Went Something Like This: Could You Give Us A Ride North, Percy Asked, Like As Close To Portland As Possible? Eat Seals, The Whale Responded. Are You Seals? No, Percy Admitted. I've Got A Man Satchel Full Of Macrobiotic Beef Jerky, Though. The Whale Shuddered. Promise Not To Feed Me This, And I Will Take You North. Deal.

That Was Hera. Her Majesty, The Loose Cannon.

I Caught Bast’s Arm When She Was A Few Steps From The Bank. “stay Away From The Water.” She Frowned. “carter, I’m A Cat. I’m Not Going For A Swim. But If You Want To Summon A River Goddess, You Really Need To Do It At The Riverbank.

Nico Started To Crawl Away, Groaning. Percy Wanted Him To Move Faster And Groan Less. He Considered Throwing His Wonder Bread At Him.

She Wanted Me To Betray You Guys, And I Was Like, 'pfft, Right, I'm Gonna Listen To A Face In The Potty Sludge'.

Hello, Hazel Levesque.

You Know How Teachers Tell You The Magic Word Is 'please'? That's Not True. The Magic Word Is 'puke'. It Will Get You Out Of Class Faster Than Anything Else.

I Was A Fight To The Death, And I Felt Great.

I Can't Summon Anymore Gas!" Leo Warned. The His Faced Turned Red. 'wow, That Came Out Wrong. I Mean The Burning Kind.

Dancing?' Annabeth Asked. Thalia Nodded. She Cocked Her Ear To The Music And Made A Face. 'ugh. Who Chose Jesse Mccartney?' Grover Looked Hurt. 'i Did.

I Remembered The Last Time Annabeth And I Had Parted Ways, When She'd Given Me A Kiss For Luck In Mount St. Helens. This Time, All I Got Was The Hat.

I Past Another Telkhine, Who Was So Startled He Dropped His Lil' Demons Lunch Box. I Left Him Alive - Partly Because He Had A Cool Lunch Box.

We’re On The Moon,” Sadie Murmured. “el Paso, Texas,” Bast Corrected.

I Have Moments Like That Alot, When My Brain Falls Asleep Or Something, And The Next Thing I Know I've Missed Something, As If A Puzzle Piece Fell Out Of The Universe And Left Me Staring At The Blank Place Behind It. -- Percy Jackson

Is A Knife Evil? Only If The Wielder Is Evil.

But... You're Still Getting Married?" Grover Sounded Hurt. "who's The Bride?" Ploypemus Looked Toward The Boiling Pot. Clarisse Made A Strangled Sound. "oh, No! You Can't Be Serious. I'm Not-

Maybe, Standing Next To The Obelisk Of Ma’at, Surrounded By The Sea Of Chaos, We Both Realized That Restraining Ourselves From Vengeance Is What Made Us Different From Apophis. Rules Had Their Place. They Kept Us From Unraveling.

The Olympians Were A Reminder That There Was Always Someone Better Than You, So You Shouldn't Get A Big Head.

Why Are They So Sad?” I Asked. “well, They’re Dead,” Carter Speculated.

People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can't Be Fixed.

Leo Got Up And Brushed Himself Off. "i Hate That Guy". He Offered Jason His Arm Like They Should Go Skipping Together."i`m Dylan. I`m So Cool, I Want To Date Myself, But I Can`t Figure Out How! You Want To Date Me Instead? You`re So Lucky!" "leo" Jason Said "you`re Weird

Egyptians Believe In The Power Of The Sunrise. They Believe Each Morning Begins Not Just A New Day, But A New World.

But Not Like This: Not With The House Just An Afterimage, And My Mom A Spirit, And My Dad...recycled." "carter Kane, Chapter 41

Poseidon Grinned. "you're Doing Well With Those New Cabins, By The Way. I Suppose This Means I Can Claim All Those Other Sons And Daughters Of Mine And Send You Some Siblings Next Summer." "ha-ha." Poseidon Reeled In His Empty Line. I Shifted My Feet. "um, You Were Kidding, Right?" Poseidon Gave Me One Of His Inside-joke Winks, And I Still Didn't Know Whether He Was Serious Or Not.

On A Basketball Court, Five Players Were In The Middle Of An Intense Game. They Wore Assortment Of Jerseys From Different American Teams, And They All Seemed Keen To Win—grunting And Snarling At Each Other, Stealing The Ball And Pushing. Oh…and The Players Were All Baboons.

When He Pulled Away, He Smiled Kindly At Me. I Felt So Good, I'll Admit I Teared Up A Little. I Guess Until That Moment I Hadn't Allowed Myself To Realize Just How Terrified I Had Been The Last Few Days. "dad-" "shhh," He Said. "no Hero Is Above Fear, Percy. And You Have Risen Above Every Hero. Not Even Hercules-

That's What Being A Demigod Was All About, Not Quite Belonging In The Mortal World Or On Mount Olympus But Trying To Make Peace With Both Sides Of Their Nature.

Don't Feel Bad, I'm Usually About To Die.

We'd Just Released A Zebra In Las Vegas.

And I Was Holding Someone Who Was Destined To Be My Best Friend, Or Possibly My Worst Enemy.

In Person, If Possible, Anubis Was Even More Drop-dead Gorgeous. [oh . . . Ha, Ha. I Didn't Catch The Pun, But Thank You, Carter. God Of The Dead, Drop-dead Gorgeous. Yes, Hilarious. Now, May I Continue?]

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Um, Dues Ex Machina Anyone?

Now, Come Over Here So I Can Pat You Down." "but You Don't Have-" Percy Stopped. "uh, Sure." He Stood Next To The Armless Statue. Terminus Conducted A Rigorous Mental Pat Down. "you Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare That This Is Stupid.

Percy: Don't I Get A Kiss For Luck? It's Kind Of A Tradition, Right? Annabeth: Come Back Alive, Seaweed Brain. Then We'll See.

The House Is In The House" Chapter 38

Maybe It's Okay To Still Be A Kid Every Once In A While.

Who Are You And Why Are You My Cat?

You Wrote This Right?” He Said. “it Tells How To Defeat Set.” Thoth Unfolded The Papyrus Pages. “oh, Dear. I Hate Reading My Old Work. Look At This Sentence. I’d Never Write It That Way Now.” He Patted His Lab Coat Pockets. “red Pen—does Anyone Have One?” Isis Chafed Against My Willpower, Insisting That We Blast Some Sense Into Thoth. One Fireball, She Pleaded. Just One Enormous Magical Fireball? I Couldn’t Say I Was Tempted, But I Kept Her Under Control. “since When Does Drool Make You Powerful?

I Told Tantalus To Go Chase A Doughnut.

Shut Up, Me,” Leo Said Aloud. “what?” Piper Asked. “nothing,” He Said. “long Night. I Think I’m Hallucinating. It’s Cool.” Sitting In Front, Leo Couldn’t See Their Faces, But He Assumed From Their Silence That His Friends Were Not Pleased To Have A Sleepless, Hallucinating Dragon Driver. “just Joking.” Leo Decided It Might Be Good To Change The Subject.

Leo Had Recently Discovered How To Change The Display, Like The Times Square Jumbotron,so Now The Banner Read: Merry Christmas! All Your Presents Belong To Leo!

Merry Christmas

Butch Hesitated. "annabeth's Okay. You Gotta Cut Her Some Slack. She Had A Vision Telling Her To Come Here, To Find A Guy With One Shoe. That Was Supposed To Be The Answer To Her Problem." "what Problem?" Piper Asked. "she's Been Looking For One Of Our Campers, Who's Been Missing Three Days," Butch Said. "she's Going Out Of Her Mind With Worry. She Hoped He'd Be Here." "who?" Jason Asked. "her Boyfriend," Butch Said, "a Guy Named Percy Jackson.

Like Some Helpful Person (hi, Mom) Has Tried To "'clean'" It, And Suddenly You Can't Find Anything?

A Vampire!" I Stammered. Then I Noticed Her Legs. Below The Cheerleader Skirt, Her Left Leg Was Brown And Shaggy With A Donkey's Hoof. Her Right Leg Was Shaped Like A Human Leg Was It Was Made Of Bronze. "uhh, A Vampire With-" "don't Mention The Legs!" Tammi Snapped. "it's Rude To Make Fun.

Annabeth Laced Her Fingers Through His. In The Light Of His Bronze Sword, Her Face Was Beautiful. 'we're Together,' She Reminded Him. 'we'll Get Through This.

Frank Tugged Again With No Luck. Even Hazel Was Trying Not To Laugh. Frank Grimaced With Concentration. Suddenly, He Disappeared. On The Deck Where He’d Been Standing, A Green Iguana Crouched Next To An Empty Set Of Chinese Handcuffs. “well Done, Frank Zhang,” Leo Said Dryly, Doing His Impression Of Chiron The Centaur. “that Is Exactly How People Beat Chinese Handcuffs. They Turn Into Iguanas.

I Wasn't Sure Whether I Was Supposed To Kneel Or Buy Stamps From Him Or What.

The Answer To Every Problem Involved Penguins

The Feast Of Fortuna Had Nothing To Do With Tuna, Which Was Fine With Percy.

Hazel Screamed At The Top Of Her Lungs, But It Was A Scream Of Delight. For The First Time In Her Life-in Her Two Lives-she Felt Absolutely Unstoppable.

Poseidon Can Come In Too! We Will Eat You Both! Seafood!

You Can't Call A Ninja Lord Dweeb.

I’d Been To The British Museum Before. In Fact I’ve Been In More Museums Than I Like To Admit—it Makes Me Sound Like A Total Geek. [that’s Sadie In The Background, Yelling I Am A Total Geek. Thanks, Sis.]

It Almost Made Me Long For The Flying Pig. --percy

You Mean A Bad Heel?" I Said. "couldn't I Just, Like, Wear Something Besides Sandals? No Offense." -percy

Heroes Like You Always Have A Weak Spot. We Just Have To Find It, And Then We Can Kill You. Won't That Be Lovely? Have A Cheese 'n' Wiener!

Good Luck, Boss. Don't Let'em Turn You Into Horse Meat! (blackjack)

Are You Kidding?" She Looked At Me As If I'd Just Dropped From The Moon. Her Cheeks Were Bright Red. "what's The Problem Now?" I Demanded. "me, Go With You To The...the 'thrill Ride Of Love'? How Embarrassing Is That? What If Somebody Saw Me?" "who's Going To See You?" But My Face Was Burning Now, Too. Leave It To A Girl To Make Everything Complicated. "fine," I Told Her. "i'll Do It Myself." But When I Started Down The Side Of The Pool, She Followed Me, Muttering About How Boys Always Messed Things Up.

How Do We Beat Her? I Asked. You Pretty Much Don’t, Horus Said. She Is The Incarnation Of The Sun’s Wrath. Back In The Day When Ra Was Active, She Would Have Been Much More Impressive, But Still. .she’s Unstoppable. A Born Killer. A Slaying Machine— “okay, I Get It!” I Yelled.

Even Little Herley, Who Couldn't Have Been More Than Eight, Looked Like He Could Go Six Rounds With Chuck Norris Without Breaking A Sweat.

You Never Know!” Neith Snapped. “the Point Is, I’ll Survive The Apocalypse. I Can Live Off The Land!” She Jabbed A Finger At Me. “did You Know The Palm Tree Has Six Different Edible Parts?” “um—” “and I’ll Never Be Bored,” Neith Continued, “since I’m Also The Goddess Of Weaving. I Have Enough Twine For A Millennium Of Macramé!” I Had No Reply, As I Wasn’t Sure What Macramé Was.

Listen, Frank Zhang Has Moves. He's Probably Gonna Turn Into A Kangaroo And Do Some Marsupial Jujitsu On Their Ugly Faces.

Freak Is Easily Spooked. Flesh-eating Monsters Tend To Scare Him Away. So Do Fireworks, Clowns, And The Smell Of Sadie's Weird British Ribena Drink. (can't Blame Him On That Last One. Sadie Grew Up In London And Developed Some Pretty Strange Tastes.

If I Couldn't Trust Her, I Couldn't Trust Anyone.

I Turned And Found Dionysus Standing There, Still In His Black Suit. Walk With Me,” He Said. Where To?” I Asked Suspiciously. Just To The Campfire,” He Said. “i Was Beginning To Feel Better, So I Thought I Would Talk With You A Bit. You Always Manage To Annoy Me.” Uh, Thanks.

Hubris Means Deadly Pride. Thinking You Can Do Things Better Than Anyone Else.

I'm Afraid Not." Hades Sighed. "my Son Here Convinced Me That Perhaps I Should Prioritize My List Of Enemies." He Glared At Me With Distaste. "as Much As I Dislike Certain Upstart Demigods, It Would Not Do For Olympus To Fall. I Would Miss Bickering With My Siblings. And If There Is One Thing We Agree On - It Is That You Were A Terrible Father.

Hazel Frowned. "why That One?" "you Don't See The Ghost?" Frank Asked. "ghost?" Nico Asked. Okay... If Frank Was Seeing A Ghost That The Underworld Kids Couldn't See, Something Was Definitely Wrong.

Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

Sometimes You Have To Lose A Piece To Win A Game.

Glancing Back I Got My First Clear Look At The Monster. He Was Seven Feet Tall, Easy, His Arms And Legs Like Something From The Cover Of Muscle Man Magazine-bulging Biceps And Triceps And A Bunch Of Other 'ceps, All Stuffed Like Baseballs Under Vein-webbed Skin. He Wore No Clothes Except Underwear-i Mean, Bright White Fruit Of The Looms.

I've Got This." Apollo Stepped Forward. His Fiery Armor Was So Bright It Was Hard To Look At, And His Matching Ray-bans And Perfect Smile Made Him Look Like A Male Model For Battle Gear. "god Of Medicine, At Your Service.

Sorghum Started To Answer, But Wheat Flew At Him And Knocked Him Down. The Karpoi Began To Fight, Dissolving Into Funnel Clouds Of Grain. Hazel Considered Making A Run For It. Then Wheat Re-formed, Holding Sorghum In A Headlock. "stop!" He Yelled At The Others. "mulitgrain Fighting Is Not Allowed!

Back In Khufu's Day I Knew A Magician Who Parted The Nile Just So He Could Climb To The Bottom And Retrieve A Girl's Necklace. Then There Was That Israelite Fellow, Mickey." "moses?" "yeah, Him.

He Just Raised The Dead With Coke And Cheeseburgers

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Travis: The Aphrodite Kids Were Ripping Each Other’s Clothes And Throwing Lipstick And Jewellery. It Was Like A Rabid Herd Of Wild Bratz.

Kinzie Smiled Smugly. “you Admire Our Base Of Operations? Yes, Our Distribution System Is Worldwide. It Took Many Years And Most Of Our Fortune To Build. Now, Finally, We’re Turning A Profit. The Mortals Don’t Realize They Are Funding The Amazon Kingdom. Soon, We’ll Be Richer Than Any Mortal Nation. Then—when The Weak Mortals Depend On Us For Everything—the Revolution Will Begin!” “what Are You Going To Do?” Frank Grumbled. “cancel Free Shipping?

I Have Strong Feelings For You, I Just Haven't Decided If Their Positive Or Negitive Yet.a

My Dear, I'm A Cat. Everything I See Is Mine.

I Wasn't Aiming At The School Bus, But Of Course I Got Expelled Anyway.

I Don’t Leave Her Speechless Very Often. I Have To Enjoy Those Rare Moments.

We Don’t Have Much Time. Mel Will Be Out Of The Restroom Soon.” “you’ve Got A Magician Named Mel?

How Do I Defeat Apophis?” “i’m So Glad You Asked!” Thoth Beamed At Me With His Multicolored Eyes. “unfortunately, I Can’t Tell You.” I Glanced At Walt. “do You Want To Kill Him, Or Should I?

Sometimes It Is Better To Have Someone You Mistrust Close To You, So That You Can Keep An Eye On Him - Chiron

Leo Grabbed The Neasrest Thing He Could Find- A Porta-potty Seat- And Threw It At The Face. Leve Me Alone!

Once I Got Over The Fact That My Latin Teacher Was A Horse, We Had A Nice Tour, Though I Was Careful Not To Walk Behind Him. I'd Done Pooper-scooper Patrol In The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade A Few Times, And, I'm Sorry, I Did Not Trust Chiron's Back The The Way I Trusted His Front.

Zia Turned Toward Us, Her Expression Grim. “i Will Show You To Your Quarters. In The Morning, Your Testing Begins. We Will See What Magic You Know, And How You Know It.” I Wasn’t Sure What She Meant By That, But I Exchanged An Uneasy Look With Sadie. “sounds Fun,” Sadie Ventured. “and It We Fail This Test?” Zia Regarded Her Coldly. “this Is Not The Sort Of Test You Fail, Sadie Kane. You Pass Or You Die.

Like Water Leaking Through A Dam," Said Piper. "yeah," Smiled Percy. "we've Got A Dam Hole." "what?" Piper Asked. "nothing," He Said. "inside Joke.

The Cafe Windows Wrapped All The Way Around The Observation Floor, Which Gave Us A Beautiful Panoramic View Of The Skeleton Army That Had Come To Kill Us.

Well . . . Sure Good To Be Together Again. Arguing. Almost Dying. Abject Terror. Oh, Look. It's Our Floor.

Nico Leaned Over And Plucked A Grape. Probably That Was The Guy’s Entire Diet For The Day.

I Wrote For 10 Years Before I Even Started The 'percy Jackson' Series.

"you Are Okay?" He Asked. "not Eaten By Monsters?" "not Even A Little Bit." I Showed Him That I Still Had Both Arms And Both Legs, And Tyson Clapped Happily. "yay!" He Said. "now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!" I Hoped He Didn't Mean All At The Same Time, But I Told Him Absolutely, We'd Have A Lot Of Fun This Summer.

Aphrodite: Pfft. That's Not The Point. Follow Your Heart. Percy: But... I Don't Know Where It's Going. My Heart, I Mean.

I'm A Teacher Still, But With A Much Larger Classroom.

Liz Cleared Her Throat. "isn't There A More Polite Term We're Supposed To Use Nowadays? Like....little Person, Or Vertically Challenged,or-" "i'm Not Going To Call Myself The God Of Vertically Challenged People," Bes Grumbled. "i'm A Dwarf!

I Will Not Have A Sea Creature Destroyed, If I Can Help It. And I Can Help It.

Frank: "i Wish I Was Adhd Or Dyslexic. All I Got Is Lactose Intolerance." Percy: "seriously?" Frank: "and I Love Ice Cream Too.

The Dead Are Hard To Look At. Their Faces Shimmer. They All Look Slightly Angry Or Confused. They Will Come Up To You And Speak, But Their Voices Sound Like Chatter, Like Bats Twittering. Once They Realize You Can't Understand Them, They Frown And Move Away. The Dead Aren't Scary. They're Just Sad.

I’ll Distract Them,” Carter Said. “you Search. The Trophy Room Is Through There.” “carter!” But The Fool Ran Off To Protect Me. I Hate When He Does That.

Somewhere Behind Me, Zia Yelled, "hippo!" Which I Thought Was A Little Late. ~carter Kane

I’ll Leave You Guys To Get Acquainted. Somebody Show Leo To Dinner When It’s Time?” “i Got It,” One Of The Girls Said. Nyssa, Leo Remembered. She Wore Camo Pants, A Tank Top That Showed Off Her Buff Arms, And A Red Bandanna Over Her Mop Of Dark Hair. Except For The Smiley-face Band-aid On Her Chin, She Looked Like One Of Those Female Action Heroes, Like Any Second She Was Going To Grab A Machine Gun And Start Mowing Down Evil Aliens. “cool,” Leo Said. “i Always Wanted A Sister Who Could Beat Me Up.

She’s Pretty,” Zethes Mumbled. “i Mean, She’s Right.

Words Had Started Swimming Off The Page, Circling My Head, The Letters Doing One-eighties As If They Were Riding Skateboards.

She Decided She'd Rather Die In Some Less Memorable Way- Maybe Falling Down The Stairs, Or Going Peacefully In Her Sleep At The Age Eighty, After A Nice Quiet Life With Percy.yes, That Sounded Good.

So You Can't Live In Manhattan?' She Asked. Amos's Brow Furrowed As He Looked Across At The Empire State Building. 'manhattan Has Other Problems. Other Gods. It's Best We Stay Separate.

Ma’at Demands A Leader.” “yeah So I’ve Heard.

Annabeth Realized That If Six Of Them Went On These Two Quests, It Would Leave Percy Alone On The Ship With Coach Hedge, Which Was Maybe Not A Situation A Caring Girlfriend Should Put Him In. Nor Was She Eager To Let Percy Out Of Her Sight Again—not After They’d Been Apart For So Many Months.

Everyone Thinks You've Been Kidnapped," He Said. "we've Been Scouring The Ship. When Coach Hedge Finds Out- Oh, Gods, You've Been Here All Night?" "frank!" Annabeth's Ears Were As Red As Strawberries. "we Just Came Down Here To Talk. We Fell Asleep. Accidentally. That's It." "kissed A Couple Of Times," Percy Said. Annabeth Glared At Him. "not Helping!

Team Leo!~ Leo Valdez

Met Them. Killed Them. Got The T-shirt.

Leo. Jason Said, You're Wierd. Yeah, You Tell Me That A Lot. Leo Grinned. But If You Don't Remember Me, That Means I Can Reuse All My Old Jokes. Come On!

We Need Music," Nico Said. "how's Your Singing?" "um, No. Can't You Just, Like, Tell It To Open? You're The Son Of Hades And All." "it's Not So Easy. We Need Music." I Was Pretty Sure If I Tried To Sing, All I Would Cause Was An Avalanche.

Maybe It’s The Other Way Around,” Jason Suggested. “maybe People With Special Gifts Show Up When Bad Things Are Happening Because That’s When They’re Needed Most.

You Weren't Able To Talk Sense Into Him?" Well, We Kind Of Tried To Kill Each Other In A Duel To The Death." I See. You Tried The Diplomatic Approach.

Carter Started Down The Stairs, But I Grabbed His Arm. “hang On. What About Traps?” He Frowned. “traps?” “didn’t Egyptian Tombs Have Traps?” “well…sometimes. But This Isn’t A Tomb. Besides, More Often They Had Curses, Like The Burning Curse, The Donkey Curse—” “oh, Lovely. That Sounds So Much Better.

Stop!" Narcissus Got To His Feet. "this Is Not Right! This Person Is Obviously Not Awesome, So He Must Be..." He Struggled For The Right Words. It Had Probably Been A Long Time Since He'd Talked About Anything Other Than Himself. "he Must Be Tricking Us." Apparently Narcissus Wasn't Completely Stupid.

Whoa," Said Nico As He Climbed Off The Bus. "is That A Climbing Wall?" "yeah," I (percy) Said. "why Is There Lava Pouring Down It?" "little Extra Challenge..." - Percy

I Don't Feel That Way Anymore," Nico Muttered. "i Mean... I Gave Up On Percy. I Was Young And Impressionable, And I- I Don't..." His Voice Cracked, And Jason Could Tell The Guy Was About To Get Teary-eyed. Whether Nico Had Really Given Up On Percy Or Not, Jason Couldn't Imagine What It Had Been Like For Nico All Those Years, Keeping A Secret That Would've Been Unthinkable To Share In The 1940s, Denying Who He Was, Feeling Completely Alone- Even More Isolated Than Other Demigods. "nico," He Said Gently, "i've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

Daddy Will Explain. Come, He Is Blowing Up Monsters.

What If It Lines Up Like It Did In The Trojan War ... Athena Versus Poseidon?" "i Don't Know. But I Just Know That I'll Be Fighting Next To You." "why?" "because You're My Friend, Seaweed Brain. Any More Stupid Questions?

Waitress!" Hedge Called. "six Double Espressos, And Whatever These Guys Want. Put It On The Girl's Tab.

If You Don't Like It You Can Kiss My Quiver

Seven Half-bloods Shall Answer The Call To Storm Or Fire The World Must Fall An Oath To Keep With A Final Breath And Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

Grover Didn't Say Anything For Awhile. Then, When I Thought He Was Going To Give Me Some Deep Philosophical Comment To Make Me Feel Better, He Said, "can I Have Your Apple?

If There Were Ever Any Half-bloods Who Needed To Worry About That, It Was Thalia And Me. I Wondered If Maybe I Should've Sent Poseidon That Seashell Pattern Tie For Father's Day After All. --percy Jackson

Mark My Words, Nothing Smells Worse Than Burned Scorpion.

Thank Artemis, It Is You! That Little Scar On Your Lip--you Tried To Eat A Stapler When You Were Two!" ... Hedge Nodded Like He Approved Of Jason's Taste. "staplers--excellent Source Of Iron.

I Racked My Brain Trying To Remember The Names Of All Of Nut’s Five Children. Bit Difficult Without My Brother, The Human Wikipedia, Around To Keep Track Of Such Trivia For Me.

A Truly Great Artist Has Many Talents.

Love Was The Most Savage Monster Of All.

It Isn’t Easy Being A Brilliant Inventor, Always Alone. Always Misunderstood. Easy To Turn Bitter, Make Horrible Mistakes. People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can’t Be Fixed. -hephaestus

Nothing Is Unfixable.

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