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Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

-Rick Riordan

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Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace,

Rick Riordan

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Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

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I Tried To Tell Them That Things Would Be Okay, But I Didn't Believe It.

With My Sister Perched On My Arm, I Walked To The Elevator. A Business Man With A Rolling Suitcase Was Waiting By The Doors. His Eyes Widened As He Saw Me. I Must’ve Looked Pretty Strange—a Tall Black Kid In Dirty, Ragged Egyptian Clothes, With A Weird Box Tucked Under One Arm And A Bird Of Prey Perched On The Other. “how’s It Going?” I Said. “i’ll Take The Stairs.” He Hurried Off.

Percy Looked At His Friends. “i’m Getting Tired Of This Guy’s Shirt.

You Set Us Up!” “no! I Swear—” Her Face Fell. “mel. Mel Must’ve Told Him.” “right,” I Grumbled. “blame Mel.

Oh, By The Way…” Jason Glanced At Percy. “i Resigned My Office, Gave Frank A Field Promotion To Praetor. Unless You Want To Contest That Ruling.” Percy Grinned. “no Argument Here.” “praetor?” Hazel Stared At Frank. He Shrugged Uncomfortably. “well… Yeah. I Know It Seems Weird.” She Tried To Throw Her Arms Around Him, Then Winced As She Remembered Her Busted Ribs. She Settled For Kissing Him. “it Seems Perfect.” Leo Clapped Frank On The Shoulder. “way To Go, Zhang. Now You Can Order Octavian To Fall On His Sword.

Kinzie Smiled Smugly. “you Admire Our Base Of Operations? Yes, Our Distribution System Is Worldwide. It Took Many Years And Most Of Our Fortune To Build. Now, Finally, We’re Turning A Profit. The Mortals Don’t Realize They Are Funding The Amazon Kingdom. Soon, We’ll Be Richer Than Any Mortal Nation. Then—when The Weak Mortals Depend On Us For Everything—the Revolution Will Begin!” “what Are You Going To Do?” Frank Grumbled. “cancel Free Shipping?

Now, Come Over Here So I Can Pat You Down." "but You Don't Have-" Percy Stopped. "uh, Sure." He Stood Next To The Armless Statue. Terminus Conducted A Rigorous Mental Pat Down. "you Seem To Be Clean," Terminus Decided. "do You Have Anything To Declare?" "yes," Percy Said. "i Declare That This Is Stupid.

I Imagined Loading The God Of The Sea Into A Taxi And Taking Him To The Upper East Side.

Upper East Side

Percy’d Heard Stories About Amputees Who Had Phantom Pains Where Their Missing Legs And Arms Used To Be. That’s How His Mind Felt—like His Missing Memories Were Aching.

Can You Surf Really Well, Then?" I Looked At Grover, Who Was Trying Hard Not To Laugh. "jeez, Nico," I Said. "i've Never Really Tried." He Went On Asking Questions. Did I Fight A Lot With Thalia, Since She Was A Daughter Of Zeus? (i Didn't Answer That One.) If Annabeth's Mother Was Athena, The Goddess Of Wisdom, Then Why Didn't Annabeth Know Better Than To Fall Off A Cliff? (i Tried Not To Strangle Nico For Asking That One.) Was Annabeth My Girlfriend? (at This Point, I Was Ready To Stick The Kid In A Meat-flavored Sack And Throw Him To The Wolves.)

Great. I've Made A Friend.

I Grabbed A Pair Of Glowing Red Legs.

Annabeth Realized That If Six Of Them Went On These Two Quests, It Would Leave Percy Alone On The Ship With Coach Hedge, Which Was Maybe Not A Situation A Caring Girlfriend Should Put Him In. Nor Was She Eager To Let Percy Out Of Her Sight Again—not After They’d Been Apart For So Many Months.

Makes Us Appreciate Blessing, Not Be Greedy And Mean And Fat Like Polyphemus.

A Legacy That Powerful Does Not Disappear. Next To The Egyptians, The Greeks And Romans Were Babies. Our Modern Nations Like Great Britain And America? Blinks Of An Eye...the Very Oldest Root Of Civilization, At Least Of Western Civilization, Is Egypt. Look At The Pyramid On The Dollar Bill. Look At The Washington Monument—the World’s Largest Egyptian Obelisk. Egypt Is Still.......very Much Alive.

Menshikov Wants To See The Old Gold Swallowed By Apophis. He Wants To See The World Plunged Into Darkness And Chaos. He Is Quite Insane. "oh." [great Response, I Know. But What Do You Say To A Story Like That?]

Keep It Simple (frank Zhang)

A General Never Shows Despair. He Instills Confidence In His Troops. He Leads Them Forward, Even Into The Mouth Of Death.

Percy (to Annabeth): If I Was Going To Pick One Person In The World To Reattach My Head, I'd Pick You. Silena: Awww . . . Percy, That Is So Sweet! Annabeth: Shut Up, Silena.

I'd Come To Respect The Bag.

Dancing?' Annabeth Asked. Thalia Nodded. She Cocked Her Ear To The Music And Made A Face. 'ugh. Who Chose Jesse Mccartney?' Grover Looked Hurt. 'i Did.

Percy Looked At Coach Hedge And Frank. “a Trap?” “probably,” Frank Said. “she’s Not Mortal,” Hedge Said, Sniffing The Air. “probably Some Kind Of Goat-eating, Demigod-destroying Fiend From Tartarus.” “no Doubt,” Percy Agreed. “awesome.” Hedge Grinned. “let’s Go.

"anybody Have Money?" Frank Checked His Pockets. "three Denarii From Camp Jupiter. Five Dollars Canadian." Hedge Patted His Gym Shorts And Pulled Out What He Found. "three Quarters, Two Dimes, A Rubber Band And - Score! A Piece Of Celery." He Started Munching On The Celery, Eyeing The Change And The Rubber Band Like They Might Be Next.

We Walked On The Beach, Fed Blue Corn Ships To The Seagulls, And Munched On Blue Jelly Beans, Blue Saltwater Taffy And All The Other Free Samples My Mom Brought Home From Work. I Guess I Should Explain The Blue Food. See, Gabe Had Once Told My Mom There Was No Such Thing. They Had This Fight, Which Seemed Like A Really Small Thing At The Time. But Ever Since, My Mom Went Out Of Her Way To Eat Blue. She Baked Blue Birthday Cakes. She Mixed Blueberry Smoothies. She Bought Blue-corn Tortilla Chips And Brought Home Blue Candy From The Shop.

You Must Carry On My Spirit. It Can No Longer Be Carried By A God. It Must Be Taken Up By All Of You. - Pan

Don't Worry, Be Hapi.

Jumping Out A Window Five Hundred Feet Above Ground Is Not Usually My Idea Of Fun. Especially When I'm Wearing Bronze Wings And Flapping My Arms Like A Duck.

Once She Was Gone, I Knelt Next To Annabeth And Felt Her Forehead. She Was Still Burning Up. "you're Cute When You're Worried," She Muttered. "your Eyebrows Get All Scrunched Together." "you Are Not Going To Die While I Owe You A Favor," I Said. "why Did You Take That Knife?" "you Would've Done The Same For Me." It Was True. I Guess We Both Knew It. Still, I Felt Like Somebody Was Poking My Heart With A Cold Metal Rod.

You Have To Read A Lot So You Know What Good Writing Looks Like And You Get Inspired. You Have To Write A Lot Because It's Like A Sport - You Have To Practice. And, Also, You Have To Persevere. Don't Give Up. I Got Rejected On My First Book, Like, 14 Times, But I Just Kept Going. So Believe In Yourself And Don't Give Up.

What The Creeping Crud Is That?" [percy] Demanded. "you’re Inside A Giant Glowing Chicken-man!" "hawk!" I Yelled. I Decided That If I Survived This Day I Would Have To Make Sure This Guy Never Met Sadie. They’d Probably Take Turns Insulting Me For The Rest Of Eternity.

Coach Hedge Shouted, 'let The Movie Star Go, You Big Ugly Cupcake! Or I'm Gonna Plant My Hoof Right Up Your...

It's Funny How Humans Can Wrap Their Mind Around Things And Fit Them Into Their Version Of Reality.

Evil Is Easy To Fight. Lack Of Wisdom...that Is Very Hard Indeed.

We Heard The Army Before We Saw It. The Noise Was Like A Cannon Barrage Combined With A Football Stadium Crowd- Like Every Patriots Fan In New England Was Charging Us With Bazookas.

While Coach Hedge Was Having Dinner On The Foredeck, A Wild Pegasus Appeared From Nowhere,stampeded Over The Coach’s Enchiladas, And Flew Off Again, Leaving Cheesy Hoof Prints All Across The Deck. “what Was That For?” The Coach Demanded.

Percy Was Getting Tired Of Water. If He Said That Aloud, He Would Probably Get Kicked Out Of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, But He Didn’t Care.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

Do You Always Try To Kill People When They Blow Their Nose?

I’m A Cat. I Respect The Sanctity Of Sleep.

Holy Mother!" "hmph. More Like Holy Father. I'd Think You'd Know The Difference." -hephaetus

You're Bes, I Guess?" I Said. "yes," He Said. "your Car's A Mess," Liz Muttered. "if One More Person Rhymes," Emma Grumbled, "i'll Throw Up.

Even The Gods Couldn't Devise A Fates So Twisted.

I Was Flying Right Toward Him (the Pig) At The Speed Of Demigod-smashing.

Great Victory Requires Great Risk. -hera

I Held Out My Dad’s Magic Box And Let It O, Sure It Would Smash To The Floor. Instead, The Box Disappeared. “cool,” I Said. “sure You I Can Get It Back?” “no,” Bast Said. “now Come On!

The World May Need Fixing, But It's Worth Preserving.

Dealing With Any Man Means Dealing With Multiple Personalities.

Back From When They Watched Black And White Tv And Hunted Dinosaurs.

Black And White

My Stomach Churned. The Monster Had Mimicked Thalia Perfectly. If I'd Heard That Voice In The Dark, Calling For Help, I Would've Run Straight Toward It.

The Way To Beat Luke," He Said. "if I'm Right, It's The Only Way You'll Stand A Chance." I Took A Deep Breath. "okay. I'm Listening." Nico Glanced Inside My Room. His Eyebrows Furrowed. "is That...is That Blue Birthday Cake?" He Sounded Hungry, Maybe A Little Wistful. I Wondered If The Poor Kid Had Ever Had A Birthday Party, Or If He'd Ever Even Been Invited To One. :come Inside For Cake And Ice Cream," I Said. "it Sounds Like We've Got A Lot To Talk About.

If I Had My Way," Dionysus Said, "i Would Cause Your Molecules To Erupt In Flames. We'd Sweep Up The Ashes And Be Done With A Lot Of Trouble. But Chiron Seems To Feel This Would Be Against My Mission At This Cursed Camp: To Keep You Little Brats Safe From Harm." "spontaneous Combustion Is A Form Of Harm, Mr. D," Chiron Put In. "nonsense," Dionysus Said. "boy Wouldn't Feel A Thing. Nevertheless, I've Agreed To Restrain Myself. I'm Thinking Of Turning You Into A Dolphin Instead, Sending You Back To Your Father.

Travis: I Didn’t Know They Made Permanent Makeup. I Looked Like A Clown For A Month. Connor: Yeah. They Put A Curse On Me So That No Matter What I Wore, My Clothes Were Two Sizes Too Small And I Felt Like A Geek. Travis: You Are A Geek.

Families Are Messy. Immortal Families Are Eternally Messy. Sometimes The Best We Can Do Is To Remind Each Other That We're Related For Better Or For Worse...and Try To Keep The Maiming And Killing To A Minimum.

Caught In A Bad Romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!" Nellie Wailed Along To The Xm Radio Blaring From The Enormous Speakers. "can I Uncover My Ears Now?" Dan Called From The Back, Where He Was Reclined Across The Leather Seat. "has Nellie Stopped Her Lady Gag Me Impression?

Amos Sipped His Coffee. "sorry If That Distubed You. Khufu's Very Picky. He Only Eats Foods That End In -o. Doritos, Burritos, Flamingos." I Blinked. "did You Say-" "carter," Sadie Warned. She Looked A Little Queasy, Like She'd Already Had This Conversation. "don't Ask.

We’re Burning,” Sadie Pointed Out Helpfully. “noticed!” I Yelled Back.

Well, I Hope You Like It Here, Leo. It Used To Be .......really Nice.

The Romans Always Wanted Bread And Circuses-food And Entertainement! As We Destroy Their City, I Will Offer Them Both. Behold, A Sample!" Someething Dropped From The Ceiling And Landed At Percy's Feet: A Loaf Of Sandwich Bread In A White Plastic Wrapper With Red And Yellow Dots. Percy Picked It Up. "wonder Bread?" "magnificent, Isn't It?" Ephialtes Eyes Danced With Crazy Excitement.

Not Inmune To Engines Huh? Boo-yah!! -leo

To A Degree, The Greek And Roman Mythological Heroes Are Just The First Superheroes. They Appeal To Children For Much The Same Reason. These Gods And Heroes May Have Powers, But They Get Angry And They Do The Wrong Thing. They Are Human Too.

Perseus, You Are Not The Hero.

If I Were A Flowerpot, I Would've Checked My Hair. ~carter Kane

Well," I Said. "if You Need Me, I'll Be Outside, Playing With Sharp Objects.

The Olympians Were A Reminder That There Was Always Someone Better Than You, So You Shouldn't Get A Big Head.

You Remind Me Of Myself ” Bes Continued “back When I Was A Young Dwarf. You Got A Stubborn Streak. When It Comes To Girl Problems You’re Clueless.

If Anybody Felt Worse Than I Did, It Was Amos. I Had Just Enough Magic To Turn Myself Into A Falcon And Him Into A Hamster (hey, I Was Rushed!)

The Death Mist Is Not For Helping!" Akhlys Shrieked. "it Shrouds Mortals In Misery As Their Souls Pass Into The Underworld. It Is The Very Breath Of Tartarus, Of Death, Of Despair!" "awesome," Percy Said. "could We Get Two Orders Of That To Go?

New Lesson, Class. Most Monsters Will Vaporize When Sliced With A Celestial Bronze Sword. This Change Is Perfectly Normal, And Will Happen To You Right Now If You Don't Back Off!" - Percy

Perfectly Normal

Liz Cleared Her Throat. "isn't There A More Polite Term We're Supposed To Use Nowadays? Like....little Person, Or Vertically Challenged,or-" "i'm Not Going To Call Myself The God Of Vertically Challenged People," Bes Grumbled. "i'm A Dwarf!

I Remembered What She'd Told Me In New York, About Building Something Permanent, And I Thought - Just Maybe - We Were Off To A Good Start.

Building Something

I Told You I Try Not To Live In The Past And Nothing Could Change The Fact That My Mum Was Gone. But I’m A Liar. The Truth Was, I’d Had One Dream Ever Since I Was Six: To See My Mum Again. To Actually Get To Know Her, Talk To Her, Go Shopping, Do Anything. Just Be With Her Once So I Could Have A Better Memory To Hold On To.

We’ve Arrived,” Leo Announced. “time To Split.” Frank Groaned. “can We Leave Valdez In Croatia?

Lacy Had Warned Me About Drew The First Day Of School. Apparently The Two Of Them Had Gone To Some Summer Camp Together––blah, Blah, I Didn't Really Listen To Teh Details––and Drew Had Been Just As Much A Tyrant There. ~sadie Kane, About Lacy And Drew Of Aphrodite Cabin.

Percy, Meet Gladiola. Gladiola, Percy." I Stared At Annabeth, Figuring She'd Crack Up At This Practical Joke They Were Playing On Me, But She Looked Deadly Serious. "i'm Not Saying Hello To A Pink Poodle," I Said. "forget It." "percy," Annabeth Said. "i Said Hello To The Poodle. You Say Hello To The Poodle." The Poodle Growled. "i Said Hello To The Poodle.

If I'm Going To Survive, It Won't Be Because I Have A Lion-skin Cloak. I'm Not Hercules.

That's Why We Live By A River. Occasionally, I Forget And Pat Lit On The Back--' 'i Hate That.' King Midas & Lit

Everything Happens For A Reason, Sadie, Even Bad Things.

Everything Happens For A Reason

Leo Took Out A Pen And Autographed The Arm Of One Of The Nymphs. “narcissus Is A Loser! He’s So Weak, He Can’t Bench-press A Kleenex. He’s So Lame, When You Look Up Lame On Wikipedia, It’s Got A Picture Of Narcissus—only The Picture’s So Ugly, No One Ever Checks It Out.

My Dear Children!" Nellie Whopped Him Upside The Head With Her Backpack. "ow!" Uncle Alistair Curled Over, Cupping His Hand Over His Good Eye. "nellie!" Amy Said. "sorry," Nellie Muttered. "i Thought He Was One Of The Bad Guys.

You Know How Teachers Tell You The Magic Word Is 'please'? That's Not True. The Magic Word Is 'puke'. It Will Get You Out Of Class Faster Than Anything Else.

There!" Apollo Pointed. "long Island, Dead Ahead. Let's Slow Down, Dear. 'dead' Is Only An Expression.

So Beckendorf Was Pretty Popular?" Leo Asked. "i Mean-before He Blew Up?

My Only Thought Was To Keep Him Away From Annabeth.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Somewhere Behind Me, Zia Yelled, "hippo!" Which I Thought Was A Little Late. ~carter Kane

It's All Still About Having A Good Story. You Have To Have A Good Story As Your Anchor, As Your Main Focus. So For Me, Personally, I Just Like To Concentrate On Writing The Best Book I Can, And If There's Other Stuff That Goes Along With It, That's Awesome, As Long As The Story Is Central.

He Was Beautiful The Way An Angel Is Beautiful - Timeless, Perfect, Remote.

"you Are Okay?" He Asked. "not Eaten By Monsters?" "not Even A Little Bit." I Showed Him That I Still Had Both Arms And Both Legs, And Tyson Clapped Happily. "yay!" He Said. "now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!" I Hoped He Didn't Mean All At The Same Time, But I Told Him Absolutely, We'd Have A Lot Of Fun This Summer.

He's Nuts" Bianca Said "we Need To Jump Off This Cliff" I Said "oh Nice Idea!! Your Nuts Too

Back Up Shall We? When My Brother, The Crazy Chicken Warrior, Turned Into A Falcon And Went Up The Pyramid’s Chimney With His New Friend, The Fruit Bat, He Left Me Playing Nurse To Two Very Wounded People—which I Didn’t Appreciate, And Which I Wasn’t Particularly Good At.

Why Would Roman Gods Want To Date Chinese Canadians?

If You've Seen A Crab's Mouth, All Foamy And Gross With Whiskers And Snapping Bits, You Can Imagine This One Didn't Look Any Better Blown Up To Billboard Size.

He Slung Off His Backpack. He'd Managed To Grab A Lot Of Supplies At The Napa Bargain Mart: A Portable Gps, Duct Tape, Lighter, Superglue, Water Bottle, Camping Roll, A Comfy Panda Pillow Pet (as Seen On Tv), And A Swiss Army Knife—pretty Much Every Tool A Modern Demigod Could Want.

The Gods Need Heroes. They Always Have.

Together We Made Our Way Down To The Street Level. Neither Of Us Said A Word. The Music Was Awful--neil Diamond Or Something. I Should've Made That Part Of My Gift Form The Gods: Better Elevator Tunes.

I Knew There Was A Reason I Didnt Turn You Into A Banana Slug." Leonid'd Eyes Widened. "no Banana Slug! Please!" "it Was A Compliement, Silly. Forbidden Is Good! Sadie Likes Forbidden!

I Feel Incredibly Fortunate To Have Had The Level Of Success I've Had. I Was Just Writing Stories For My Own Sons.

Percy," My Father Said, "what Exactly Do You Mean?" "kronos Couldn't Have Risen If It Hadn't Been For A Lot Of Demigods Who Felt Abandoned By Their Parents," I Said. "they Felt Angry, Resentful, And Unloved, And They Had A Good Reason.

She Glared At Me Like She Was About To Punch Me, But Then She Did Something That Surprised Me Even More. She Kissed Me. "be Careful Seaweed Brain." She Said Putting On Her Invisible Cap And Disappearing. I Probably Would Have Sat There All Day, Trying To Remember My Name, But Then The Sea Demons Came.

Nico Leaned Over And Plucked A Grape. Probably That Was The Guy’s Entire Diet For The Day.

Carter Kane, 14, Died Tragically In Paris When He Was Eaten By His Sister’s Cat Muffin.

Sadie Got Up And Kissed Amos On The Forehead. “leave It To Us, Uncle. I’ve Got A Plan.” “that,” I Said, “sounds Like Very Bad News.

Vulcan?" Leo Demanded. "i Don't Even Like Star Trek!

Always, Always Have A Plan

But How Did You Know Where We Were?" Annabeth Asked. Advanced Planning, My Dear. I Figured You Would Wash Up Near Miami If You Made It Out Of The Sea Of Monsters Alive. Almost Everything Strange Washes Up Near Miami.

Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

Met Them. Killed Them. Got The T-shirt.

Imitation Is Flattery

Before I Could Lose My Courage, I Said, "don't I Get A Kiss For Luck? It's Kind Of A Tradition, Right?" I Figured She Would Punch Me. Instead, She Drew Her Knife And Stared At The Army Marching Toward Us. "come Back Alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, We'll See.

They Sped By A Pack Of Sea Lions Lounging On The Docks, And She Swore She Saw An Old Homeless Guy Sitting Among Them. From Across The Water The Old Man Pointed A Bony Finger At Percy And Mouthed Something Like 'don't Even Think About It.' "did You See That?" Hazel Asked. Percy's Face Was Red In The Sunset. "yeah. I've Been Here Before. I...i Don't Know. I Think I Was Looking For My Girlfriend." "annabeth," Frank Said. "you Mean, On Your Way To Camp Jupiter?" Percy Frowned. "no. Before That.

The Princess Andromeda?" "went Ka-boom.

So Mortals Tend To See Only What They Can Understand.

Who Are You And Why Are You My Cat?

I Seriously Needed An Extra-strength Magic Pillow, Because My Ba Refused To Stay Put. [and No, Sadie, I Don't Think Wrapping My Head In Duct Tape Would've Worked Either.]

He’d Learned Years Ago It Was Better Not To Dwell Too Much On Who Was Related To Whom On The Godly Side Of Things. After Tyson The Cyclops Adopted Him As A Brother, Percy Decided That That Was About As Far As He Wanted To Extend The Family.

We Did All The Standard Camp Numbers: "down By The Aegean," "i Am My Own Great-great-great-great Grandpa," "this Land Is Minos's Land.

Percy: I’ll Walk Down To The Cabins And Connor And Travis Are Stealing Stuff From The Camp Store, And Silena Is Arguing With Annabeth Trying To Give Her A New Makeover, And Clarisse Is Still Sticking The New Kids’ Head Into The Toilets. It’s Nice That Some Things Never Change.

I Felt Like One Of Apollo's Sacred Cows- Slow, Dumb, And Bright Red.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Not Even The Best Machines. And Everything Can Be Reused. - Hephaestus

Our Problems Started In Dallas, When The Fire-breathing Sheep Destroyed The King Tut Exhibit.

Before Keto Could Notice, Hedge Pointed Towards The Top Of The Amphitheater. It Looked Like He Might Be Screaming, Gods Of Olympus, What Is That? Keto Turned. Coach Hedge Promptly Took Off His Fake Foot And Ninja-kicked Her In The Back Of The Head With His Goat Hoof.

We'd Just Released A Zebra In Las Vegas.

No, No, I Never Mess Around.

You Want To Know How Egyptians Pulled The Brains Out Of Mummies. Or Built The Pyramids, Or Cursed King Tut's Tomb? My Dad's Your Man.

Think Long And Hard About How You Proceed, Nico Di Angelo. You Cannot Lie To Cupid. If You Let Your Anger Rule You... Well, Your Fate Will Be Even Sadder Then Mine.

Your Loved Ones Have Been Used To Lure You Into Kronos's Traps. Your Fatal Flaw Is Personal Loyalty Percy. You Do Not Know When It Is Time To Cut Your Losses. To Save A Friend You Would Sacrifice The World.

'are You Guys Busy?' Juniper Asked. 'well,' I Said, 'we're In The Middle Of This Game Against A Bunch Of Monsters And We're Trying Not To Die.' 'we're Not Busy,' Annabeth Said.

I Enjoy Writing For Both Kids And Adults, Though I Think I'm Better At Children's Stories Because I Was A Teacher For So Long, And I Know That Audience Well. The Process Is No Different Whether I'm Writing For Children Or Adults. Really, The Elements Of Making A Good Story Are The Same.

Even Little Herley, Who Couldn't Have Been More Than Eight, Looked Like He Could Go Six Rounds With Chuck Norris Without Breaking A Sweat.

Hades Raised An Eyebrow. When He Sat Forward In His Throne, Shadowy Faces Appeared In The Folds Of His Black Robes, Faces Of Torment,as If The Garment Was Stitched Of Trapped Souls From The Fields Of Punishment, Trying To Get Out. The Adhd Part Of Me Wondered, Off-task, Whether The Rest Of His Clothes Were Made The Same Way. What Horrible Things Would You Have To Do In Your Life To Get Woven Into Hades' Underwear?

Let's Boogie,' He (leo) Said. 'before I Come To My Senses

Aretmis Gripped Her Bow. “let Us Pray I Am Wrong.” Can Goddesses Pray?

Gods And Goddesses

Yeah, Well,” Nico Said, “not Giving People A Second Thought…that Can Be Dangerous.

I (percy) Set Nico On Guard Duty With Beckendorf And The Stoll Brothers, Figuring He'd Be Safely Out Of The Way. ... "what's Happening?" Nico Demanded, Trying To Climb Up Next To Me.

So," I (percy) Said Glumly. "we're Going To Get A Ride From Your Brother, Huh?" Artemis's Silver Eyes Gleamed. "yes, Boy. You See, Bianca Di Angelo Is Not The Only One With An Annoying Brother. It's Time For You To Meet My Irresponsible Twin, Apollo.

It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

Eternity With Artemis?" He Heaved A Big Sigh. Thalia Rolled Her Eyes. "you Satyrs. You're All In Love With Artemis. Don't You Get That She'll Never Love You Back?" "but She's So…into Nature," Grover Swooned. "you're Nuts," Said Thalia. "nuts And Berries," Grover Said Dreamily. "yeah.

I Get Letters From College Kids Who Have Read Percy Jackson When They Were Younger Who Tell Me, 'i Just Passed My Classics Exam.' The Books Are Accurate Enough That They Can Serve As A Gateway To Homer And Virgil.

It Isn’t Easy Being A Brilliant Inventor, Always Alone. Always Misunderstood. Easy To Turn Bitter, Make Horrible Mistakes. People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can’t Be Fixed. -hephaestus

Oh, My Dear! I’m Afraid You’ve Mistaken Me For Someone Else! My Name Is Rhea Silvia. I Was The Mother To Romulus And Remus, Thousands Of Years Ago. But You’re So Kind To Think I Look As Young As The 1950s.

I Hoped They Couldn't Run Very Fast With Those Stubby Little Legs And Flippers, But They Waddled Along Pretty Well.

Just Tell Me, Percy, Do You Still Have The Birthday Gift I Gave You Last Summer?" I Nodded And Pulled Out My Camp Necklace. It Had A Bead For Every Summer I'd Been At Camp Half-blood, But Since Last Year I'd Also Kept A Sand Dollar On The Cord. My Father Had Given It To Me For My Fifteenth Birthday. He'd Told Me I Would Know When To "spend It," But So Far I Hadn't Figured Out What He Meant. All I Knew That It Didn't Fit The Vending Machines In The School Cafeteria.

Rachel: They Asked Me A Lot Of Questions About You. I Played Dumb. Annabeth: Was It Hard?

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Jason Scratched His Head. "you Named Him Festus? You Know That In Latin, ‘festus’ Means ‘happy’? You Want Us To Ride Off To Save The World On Happy The Dragon?

Big Brothers Are The Ones Who Are Supposed To Pull Their Punches. Little Sisters—well, We Should Be Able To Hit As Hard As We Like, Shouldn’t We?

Different Elevator Music Was Playing Since My Last Visit-that Old Disco Song "stayin' Alive." A Terrifying Image Flashed Through My Mind Of Apollo In Bell-bottom Pants And A Slinky Silk Shirt.

Everyone Hates Clowns," Otis Said. "even Other Clowns Hate Clowns.

I’d Been To The British Museum Before. In Fact I’ve Been In More Museums Than I Like To Admit—it Makes Me Sound Like A Total Geek. [that’s Sadie In The Background, Yelling I Am A Total Geek. Thanks, Sis.]

Relax," Chiron Told Me. "keep A Clear Head. And Remember, You May Be About To Prevent The Biggest War In Human History." "relax," I Said. "i'm Very Relaxed.

Any Moment Now..." The Girl [calypso] Stared Out At The Water. No Magical Raft Appeared. "maybe It Got Stuck In A Traffic," Leo Said.

I Started To Walk Away, But She [clarisse] Called Out, "percy?" "yeah?" "when You, Uh, Had That Vision About Your Friends..." "you Were One Of Them," I Promised, "just Don't Tell Anybody, Okay? Or I'de Have To Kill You." A Faint Smile Flickered Across Her Face "see You Later." "see You

Most People Call It The Book Of The Dead,” He Told Me. “rich Egyptians Were Always Buried With A Copy, So They Could Have Directions Through The Duat To The Land Of The Dead. It’s Like An Idiot’s Guide To The Afterlife.

Why Can't You Place A Blessing Like That On Us?" I Asked. "it Only Works On Wild Animals." "so It Would Only Affect Percy," Annabeth Reasoned. "hey!" I Protested.

I Should’ve Been Very Cross With Anubis. Kissing Me Without Permission—the Nerve!

I Turned To Annabeth And Shook My Head In Exasperation. “always Hercules. What Is It With Hercules?” Annabeth Shrugged. “he Had A Great Publicist.

Thalia's Shoulders Relaxed. "i Owe You One." "two." "one And A Half," Thalia Said. She Smiled, And For A Second, I Remembered That I Actually Liked Her When She Wasn't Yelling At Me.

Hubris Means Deadly Pride. Thinking You Can Do Things Better Than Anyone Else.

The Feast Of Fortuna Had Nothing To Do With Tuna, Which Was Fine With Percy.

Once I Got Over The Fact That My Latin Teacher Was A Horse, We Had A Nice Tour, Though I Was Careful Not To Walk Behind Him. I'd Done Pooper-scooper Patrol In The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade A Few Times, And, I'm Sorry, I Did Not Trust Chiron's Back The The Way I Trusted His Front.

Humans Don't Exist On The Same Level As Immortals. They Can't Even Be Hurt By Our Weapons. But You,percy - You Are Part God,part Human.you Live In Both Worlds.you Can Be Harmed By Both,and You Can Affect Both. That's What Makes Heroes So Special.

As An Author, I Don't Really Think Too Much About Being A Celebrity. It's Not Like Being A Movie Star Or A Tv Star. It's Not As If People Recognize Me When I Walk Down The Street. That Hardly Ever Happens, And It's Just As Well. But It Is Great When People Know My Books, When I Walk Through An Airport And See Them In The Bookstore, Or When I See Someone Reading A Book On A Plane Or On A Train, And It's Something I've Written. That's A Wonderful Feeling.

Beckendorf Walked Up With His Helmet Under His Arm. 'she Likes You, Man.' 'sure,' I Muttered. 'she Likes Me For Target Practice.' 'nah, They Always Do That. A Girl Starts Trying To Kill You, You Know She's Into You. 'makes A Lot Of Sense.

Kids, If Anything, Are Harder To Write For Because They Are A More Discerning Audience. They Will Not Stay With You If You Go Off On A Tangent Or If You Give Them Extraneous Information That Doesn't Serve The Story. You Really Have To Tell A Tight Story. You Have To Give Them Humor And Suspense And Believable Characters. All Those Things That Adults Want Too, But You Have To Be Really On Your Game When You're Writing For Kids.

My Resolve, My Anger, Even My Grief Gave Me Confidence

When In Doubt, Start From The Top. -jason Grace

There Were A Lot Of Answers I Might've Given, From "i Knew That" To "liar!" To "yeah Right, And I'm Zeus." - Percy, After Quintus Says That He Is Daedalus

Even From Far Away, I Could See People Being Chased By Hellhounds, Burned At The Stake, Forced To Run Naked Through Cactus Patches Or Listen To Opera Music.

Entertain Me, Heroes Of Olympus. Give Me A Reason To Do More." Bacchus To Percy And Jason

"monkey Bars," Annabeth Said. "i'm Great At These." She Leaped Onto To The First Rung And Started Swinging Her Way Across. She Was Scared Of Tiny Spiders, But Not Of Plummeting To Her Death From A Set Of Monkey Bars. Go Figure.

Leo Scratched His Head. “well I Dunno About Enchiladas-“ “enceladus,” Piper Corrected. “whatever. But Old Potty Face Mentioned Another Name. Porpoise Fear, Or Something?” “porphyrion?” Piper Asked. ”he Was The Giant King, I Think.

I've Been Waiting A Long Time For A Quest, Seaweed Brain," She Said. "athena Is No Fan Of Poseidon, But If You're Going To Save The World, I'm The Best Person To Keep You From Messing Up.

I Do Not Know How Much They See Through The Mist. I Doubt It Would Matter To Them If They Knew The Truth. Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

We Were Alone In A Strange Mansion With A Baboon, A Crocodile, And A Weird Cat. And Apparently, The Entire World Was In Danger. I Looked At Sadie. “what Do We Do Now?

Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. I Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right? Oh...yes. Good Point. Amphitrite - Incoming!

Set’s Storm Is Gathering,” Amos Said With A Twinkle In His Eyes. “shall We Drive Into Is?

Hestia Shook Her Head. "i Am Here Because When All Else Fails, When All The Other Mighty Gods Have Gone Off To War, I Am All That's Left. Home. Hearth. I Am The Last Olympian

Ptah? Son Of Ptooey? What Is He God Of Spitting? I Asked

I Think Anytime You're Writing To The Middle Grades, You're Writing To Young Readers Who Are Trapped In A Number Of Ways Between Two Worlds: Between Childhood And Adulthood, Between Their Friends And Their Parents.

I Tried To Imagine How Things Could Get Much Worse. The Gods Were In The Midwest Fighting A Huge Monster That Had Almost Defeated Them Once Before. Poseidon Was Under Siege And Losing A War Against The Sea Titan Oceanus. Kronos Was Still Out There Somewhere. Olympus Was Virtually Undefended. The Demigods Of Camp Half-blood Were On Our Own With A Spy In Our Midst. Oh, And According To The Ancient Prophecy, I Was Going To Die When I Turned Sixteen—which Happened To Be In Five Days, The Exact Same Time Typhon Was Supposed To Hit New York. Almost Forgot That.

Who's The Other Kid In The Photo?' He Asked. 'the Sandy-haired Guy.' Annabeth's Expression Tightened. Touchy Subject. 'that's Luke,' She Said. 'he's Dead Now.

Sometimes Small Things Can Become Very Large, Indeed.

I Sat Up In Bed. "what Did He Say?" Tyson Groaned, Still Half Asleep. He Was Lying Facedown On The Couch, His Feet So Far Over The Edge They Were In The Bathroom. "the Happy Man Said...bowling Practice?" I Hoped He Was Right, But Then There Was An Urgent Knock On The Suite's Interior Door. Annabeth Stuck Her Head In--her Blonde Hair In A Rat's Nest. "disembowling Practice?

He Was Rewarded With A Silver-and-red Can Of Soda. He Brandished It At The Dolphin Warriors As If Spraying Them With Bug Repellant. "behold!" Percy Shouted. "the God's Chosen Beverage. Tremble Before The Horror Of Diet Coke!" The Dolphin-men Began To Panic. They Were On The Edge Of Retreat. Percy Could Feel It.

Your Mom Is A Rainbow Goddess?" "you Got A Problem With That?" "no, No. Rainbows. Very Macho.

Oh, Don't Mind Me! Just The Queen Of The Heavens, Dying Over Here!

Surfing?” He Asked. She Laughed, And The Sound Sent A Shock Wave Through The Water. The Wailing Faded To Background Noise. Annabeth Wondered If Anyone Had Ever Laughed In Tartarus Before—just A Pure, Simple Laugh Of Pleasure. She Doubted It.

Background Noise

She Sacrificed Her Life To Make Things Right," Mitchell Grumbled. "she[silena Beuregard] Was A Hero

Make Things Right

Throwing Down Your Staff May Sound Like A Sign Of Surrender, But In Egyptian Magic, It's Bad News. It Usually Means, 'hey, I'm Going To Summon A Big Nasty Thing To Kill You While I Stand Safely Inside My Circle And Laugh'.

I Think The More You Understand Myths, The More You Understand The Roots Of Our Culture And The More Things Will Resonate. Do You Have To Know Them? No, But Certainly It Is Nice To Recognise How Deeply These Things Are Embedded In Our Literature, Our Art.

Honestly, I Thought I Was Going To Be A Kite Forever, Suffocating Inside A Little Feathery Prison. And He Had The Nerve To Make Fun!

Good Luck, Boss. Don't Let'em Turn You Into Horse Meat! (blackjack)

The Ancient Egyptians Were Not Fools, Carter. They Built The Pyramids. They Created The First Great Nation State. Their Civilization Lasted Thousands Of Years.” “yeah,” I Said. “and Now They’re Gone.

I've Got This." Apollo Stepped Forward. His Fiery Armor Was So Bright It Was Hard To Look At, And His Matching Ray-bans And Perfect Smile Made Him Look Like A Male Model For Battle Gear. "god Of Medicine, At Your Service.

I, Horus, Son Of Osiris, Claim The Throne Of The Heavens As My Birthright!" He Shouted."what Was Once Mine Shall Be Mine Again.is There Anyone Who Would Challenge Me?" The Gods Flickered And Glowed. A Few Scowled. One Muttered Something That Sounded Like "cheese", Although That Could've Been My Imagination.

I Pictured My Mom, Alone In Our Little Apartment On The Upper East Side. I Tried To Remember The Smell Of Her Blue Waffles In The Kitchen. It Seemed So Far Away.

Facinating." He Broke Into A Wide Grin. "i've Discovered Something, Khufu. This Is Not Memphis, Egypt." Khufu Gave Me A Sideways Look, And I Could Swear His Expression Meant, Duh. "i've Also Discovered A New Form Of Magic Called Blues Music," The Man Continued. "and Barbecue. Yes, You Must Try Barbecue.

Oh, I Wouldn't Say Love Always Makes You Happy. Sometimes It Makes You Incredibly Sad.

Ever Come Home And Found Your Room Messed Up? Like Some Helpful Person (hi, Mom) Has Tried To "clean" It, And Suddenly You Can't Find Anything? And Even If Nothing Is Missing, You Get That Creepy Feeling Like Somebody's Been Looking Through Your Private Stuff And Dusting Everything With Lemon Furniture Polish?

"bloated!" He Cried. The Corresponding Hieroglyph Flew Through The Air, Bursting Against A Demon's Chest In A Spray Of Light. Instantly, The Demon Swelled Like A Water Balloon And Rolled Screaming Down The Pyramid. "flat!" Thoth Blasted Another Demon, Who Collapsed And Shriveled Into A Monster-shaped Doormat. "intestinal Problems!" Thoth Yelled. The Poor Demon Who Got Zapped With That One Turned Green And Doubled Over.

I'm Gonna Be Percy Jackson When I Grow Up," She Told Hazel Solemnly. Hazel Smiled And Ruffled Her Hair. "that's A Good Thing To Be, Julia." "although," Frank Said. "frank Zhang Would Be Good Too.

It Wasn't Exactly Like Talking, But It Went Something Like This: Could You Give Us A Ride North, Percy Asked, Like As Close To Portland As Possible? Eat Seals, The Whale Responded. Are You Seals? No, Percy Admitted. I've Got A Man Satchel Full Of Macrobiotic Beef Jerky, Though. The Whale Shuddered. Promise Not To Feed Me This, And I Will Take You North. Deal.

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