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Think Long And Hard About How You Proceed, Nico Di Angelo. You Cannot Lie To Cupid. If You Let Your Anger Rule You... Well, Your Fate Will Be Even Sadder Then Mine.

-Rick Riordan

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Think Long And Hard

Rick Riordan

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Think Long And Hard About How You Proceed, Nico Di Angelo. You Cannot Lie To Cupid. If You Let Your Anger Rule You... Well, Your Fate Will Be Even Sadder Then Mine.

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Even When She Looked Scared, She Had A Lot Of Guts.

Two Hundred Romans, And No One’s Got A Pen? Never Mind!" He Slung His M16 Onto His Back And Pulled Out A Hand Grenade. There Were Many Screaming Romans. Then The Hand Grenade Morphed Into A Ballpoint Pen, And Mars Began To Write. Frank Looked At Percy With Wide Eyes. He Mouthed: Can Your Sword Do Grenade Form? Percy Mouthed Back, No. Shut Up.

It's Hard To Enjoy Practical Jokes When Your Whole Life Feels Like One.

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It Takes Strength And Courage To Admit The Truth.

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Poseidon’s Trident Was Also All Over The Place, Since Peter The Great Wanted To Stress Russia’s Sea Power. I Especially Like The Trident On Top Of An Obelisk -- What A Great Egyptian/greek Mix Up!

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Staying Silent, Staying Away From Him... That Was The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done.

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His Lion And Hippo Legs Twitched. I Wondered If Netherworld Monsters Dreamed Of Chasing Rabbits.

I Feel Incredibly Fortunate To Have Had The Level Of Success I've Had. I Was Just Writing Stories For My Own Sons.

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The Romans Always Wanted Bread And Circuses-food And Entertainement! As We Destroy Their City, I Will Offer Them Both. Behold, A Sample!" Someething Dropped From The Ceiling And Landed At Percy's Feet: A Loaf Of Sandwich Bread In A White Plastic Wrapper With Red And Yellow Dots. Percy Picked It Up. "wonder Bread?" "magnificent, Isn't It?" Ephialtes Eyes Danced With Crazy Excitement.

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He Was Rewarded With A Silver-and-red Can Of Soda. He Brandished It At The Dolphin Warriors As If Spraying Them With Bug Repellant. "behold!" Percy Shouted. "the God's Chosen Beverage. Tremble Before The Horror Of Diet Coke!" The Dolphin-men Began To Panic. They Were On The Edge Of Retreat. Percy Could Feel It.

So Few People Did Good In Their Lives. It Was Depressing.

Before I Could Do Anything Rash, A Familiar Voice Behind Me Said, "hello, Sadie." The Other Girls Let Out A Collective Gasp. My Pulse Quickened From "slow Walk" To "fifty-meter-dash." I Turned And Found That-yes, Indeed-the God Anubis Had Crashed Our Dance.

Hey!" I Screamed, Waving The Jacket, Running To One Side Of The Monster. "hey, Stupid! Ground Beef!

And It Was Pretty Much The Best Underwater Kiss Of All Time.

Throwing Down Your Staff May Sound Like A Sign Of Surrender, But In Egyptian Magic, It's Bad News. It Usually Means, 'hey, I'm Going To Summon A Big Nasty Thing To Kill You While I Stand Safely Inside My Circle And Laugh'.

Jeez, Hazel," Percy Said, "tell Your Horse To Watch His Language." Hazel Tried Not To Laugh. "what Did He Say?" "with The Cussing Removed? He Said He Can Get Us To The Top." Frank Looked Incredulous. "i Thought The Horse Couldn't Fly!" This Time Arion Whinnied So Angrily, Even Hazel Could Guess He Was Cursing. "dude," Percy Told The Horse, "i've Gotten Suspended For Saying Less Than That.

It's Natural To Feel Fear. All Great Warriors Are Afraid. Only The Stupid And The Delusional Are Not.

"bloated!" He Cried. The Corresponding Hieroglyph Flew Through The Air, Bursting Against A Demon's Chest In A Spray Of Light. Instantly, The Demon Swelled Like A Water Balloon And Rolled Screaming Down The Pyramid. "flat!" Thoth Blasted Another Demon, Who Collapsed And Shriveled Into A Monster-shaped Doormat. "intestinal Problems!" Thoth Yelled. The Poor Demon Who Got Zapped With That One Turned Green And Doubled Over.

I Turned To Annabeth And Shook My Head In Exasperation. “always Hercules. What Is It With Hercules?” Annabeth Shrugged. “he Had A Great Publicist.

So Mortals Tend To See Only What They Can Understand.

I Didn't Answer, But, Please - Nothing Is Obvious With Boys. For Such Simple Creatures, They Are Quite Baffling.

Leo Took Out A Pen And Autographed The Arm Of One Of The Nymphs. “narcissus Is A Loser! He’s So Weak, He Can’t Bench-press A Kleenex. He’s So Lame, When You Look Up Lame On Wikipedia, It’s Got A Picture Of Narcissus—only The Picture’s So Ugly, No One Ever Checks It Out.

I Pulled Out Riptide.

The Best People Have The Rottenest Luck

The Waiter Brought Fresh-baked Bread And Cheese, A Bottle Of Sparkling Water For Annabeth, And A Coke With Ice For Me (because I’m A Barbarian).

He Also Didn't Mind Piper's Using Him For A Pillow. She Had A Cute Way Of Breathing When She Slept - Inhaling Through The Nose, Exhaling With A Little Puff Through The Mouth. He Was Also Disappointed When She Woke Up.

The Ancient Egyptians Were Not Fools, Carter. They Built The Pyramids. They Created The First Great Nation State. Their Civilization Lasted Thousands Of Years.” “yeah,” I Said. “and Now They’re Gone.

Many Of The Best Traps Are Simple. You Just Have To Think About It, And Hope Your Victim Doesn't.

Liz Cleared Her Throat. "isn't There A More Polite Term We're Supposed To Use Nowadays? Like....little Person, Or Vertically Challenged,or-" "i'm Not Going To Call Myself The God Of Vertically Challenged People," Bes Grumbled. "i'm A Dwarf!

Annabeth Recognized Something Else In Her Face, Too - In The Hard Set Of Her Mouth And The Deliberate Way She Raised Her Chin Like She Was Ready To Accept Any Challenge. Reyna Was Forcing A Look Of Courage, While Holding Back A Mixture Of Hopefulness And Worry And Fear That She Couldn't Show In Public. Annabeth Knew That Expression. She Saw It Every Time She Looked In A Mirror.

Vitellius Would've Given Percy An Hour-long Lecture On The Subject, Probably With A Powerpoint Presentation.

George Unhinged His Jaw And Coughed Up A Little Plastic Bottle Filled With Chewable Vitamins. "you're Kidding," I Said. "are Those Minotaur-shaped?" Hermes Picked Up The Bottle And Rattled It. "the Lemon Ones, Yes. The Grape Ones Are Furies, I Think. Or Are They Hydras? At Any Rate, These Are Potent."

They Had A Silent Staring Contest, But Percy Didn’t Back Down. When He And Annabeth Started Dating, His Mother Had Drummed It Into His Head: It’s Good Manners To Walk Your Date To The Door. If That Was True, It Had To Be Good Manners To Walk Her To The Start Of Her Epic Solo Death Quest.

That's What Being A Demigod Was All About, Not Quite Belonging In The Mortal World Or On Mount Olympus But Trying To Make Peace With Both Sides Of Their Nature.

I Hoped I Wasn't Blushing. It Was Bad Enough I Had To Depend On My Mom To Drive Me To My Battles.

If You Were A God, How Would You Like Being Called A Myth, An Old Story To Explain Lightning? What If I Told You, Perseus Jackson, That Someday People Would Call You A Myth, Just Created To Explain How Little Boys Can Get Over Losing Their Mothers?

We Did All The Standard Camp Numbers: "down By The Aegean," "i Am My Own Great-great-great-great Grandpa," "this Land Is Minos's Land.

Mussolini?” Leo Frowned. “wasn’t He Like Bffs With Hitler?

No One Can Hate You With More Intensity Than Someone Who Used To Love You.

Can’t This Thing Go Any Faster?” Thalia Demanded. Zoe Glared At Her. “i Cannot Control Traffic.” You Both Sound Like My Mother,” I Said. Shut Up!” They Both Said In Union.

Why Does It Have To Be So Hard? Why Can't It Be A Happily-ever-after Ride-into-the-sunset Feeling All The Time?

I Blinked The Sleep Out Of My Eyes And Realized My Head Was In Khufu’s Lap. The Baboon Was Foraging My Scalp For Munchies. “dude.” I Sat Up Groggily. “not Cool.” “but He Gave You A Lovely Hairdo,” Sadie Said. “agh-agh!” Khufu Agreed.

As In All Abercrombie's Books, Friends Turn Out To Be Enemies, Enemies Turn Out To Be Friends; The Line Between Good And Evil Is Murky Indeed; And Nothing Goes Quite As We Expect. With Eye-popping Plot Twists And Rollicking Good Action, Half A King Is Definitely A Full Adventure.

Nico Started To Crawl Away, Groaning. Percy Wanted Him To Move Faster And Groan Less. He Considered Throwing His Wonder Bread At Him.

I’ll Distract Them,” Carter Said. “you Search. The Trophy Room Is Through There.” “carter!” But The Fool Ran Off To Protect Me. I Hate When He Does That.

Wha-what?" Her Eyes Fluttered Open. "nothing," I Shouted. "we're Being Followed By A Slaying Machine. Go Back To Sleep.

"you Are Okay?" He Asked. "not Eaten By Monsters?" "not Even A Little Bit." I Showed Him That I Still Had Both Arms And Both Legs, And Tyson Clapped Happily. "yay!" He Said. "now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!" I Hoped He Didn't Mean All At The Same Time, But I Told Him Absolutely, We'd Have A Lot Of Fun This Summer.

Sorry,no Thanks,if I Was Going To Die It Could Wait Until Tomorrow Morning.

Of Course, Annabeth Wouldn't Be Able To Breathe, But At The Moment, That Seemed Like A Minor Problem.

Back Up Shall We? When My Brother, The Crazy Chicken Warrior, Turned Into A Falcon And Went Up The Pyramid’s Chimney With His New Friend, The Fruit Bat, He Left Me Playing Nurse To Two Very Wounded People—which I Didn’t Appreciate, And Which I Wasn’t Particularly Good At.

Cacus.” I’d Had Years Of Practice Looking Dumb When People Threw Out Greek Names I Didn’t Know. It’s A Skill Of Mine. Annabeth Keeps Telling Me To Read A Book Of Greek Myths, But I Don’t See The Need. It’s Easier Just To Have Folks Explain Stuff.

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James M. Barrie

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