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I Think There Are Bound To Be Obstacles In Any Path To Success. I Mean, I'm Jewish, And There's Nothing I Can Do About That. Instead Of Sitting Around And Feeling Sorry For Myself, I Got Over It And Did Something With My Life.

-Zach Braff

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I Think There Are

Zach Braff

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I Think There Are Bound To Be Obstacles In Any Path To Success. I Mean, I'm Jewish, And There's Nothing I Can Do About That. Instead Of Sitting Around And Feeling Sorry For Myself, I Got Over It And Did Something With My Life.

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I Think There Are Bound To Be Obstacles In Any Path To Success. I Mean, I'm Jewish, And There's Nothing I Can Do About That. Instead Of Sitting Around And Feeling Sorry For Myself, I Got Over It And Did Something With My Life.

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I Had No Interest In Sports So I Didn't Make Friends In That Traditional Way Where Kids Are In Public School And They Go And They Join Clubs, And Play Sports. So I Kind Of Had To Find My Own Way To Make Friends And Get Attention And So I Just Was The Class Clown.

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I Know Every Politician Spins The Truth A Little.

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I Was Stuck In Traffic One Day And Just Kinda Thought It Would Be Funny To Masturbate. It Was Sunny And Clear Out, So I Was Worried One Of The Other Drivers Would See Me, But My Jeep Is Pretty High Off The Ground, So I Think No One Noticed. I Busted A Nut And Aimed It Down, Ruining My Tweety Bird Floor Mat. I Felt Kinda Stupid After And My Mom Kept Silent The Rest Of The Drive Home. It Was Awkward And I Regret It.

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I Never Looked At Bread The Same Way Again

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The Problem With Doing Commercials Is That The Only Thing Good Enough For Me To Sell Is Myself, And I Stopped Doing That Once I Kicked My Coke Habit.

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Sometimes I Regret Not Being Catholic. I Think I'd Make A Pretty Good Saint.

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It Raises Several Serious Questions. For Example, How Can There Possibly Be More Than One Person As Awesome As Me?

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When You Win Your First Grammy, It's True, You Really Want To Thank All The Little People.

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Everyday I Question Myself. I Look In The Mirror, Or Read One Of My Scripts, Or I Reflect On My Acting And I Say To Myself 'that Was Good...but Was It Zach Braff Good?' Lets Just Say Things Have Been Looking Pretty Zach Braff So Far.

I Don't Ask Questions. I Just Figure The Extra Warm Days Are God's Way Of Rewarding Me For Garden State

People Have Called Me Fake, But Personally, I Don't Think I'm Fake Because I'm So Insincere.

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I Donno, It's Not Impressive. Once I Put Ear Plugs In And Put A Blind Fold On For Like 14 Minutes And I Did Just Fine.

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People Often Ask Me When There's Going To Be A Mrs. Zach Braff. It's A Confusing Question Sometimes Because Many People Don't Realize That My Mother Is Named Mrs. Zach Braff.

It's Funny When I Read The Tabloids And They're Reporting On Only A Fraction Of The Life I'm Leading.

When I First Moved To L.a., I Thought About Turning Gay. Then I Realized None Of The Guys I Was Interested In Was Good Enough For Me.

Every Single Person Wants To Do It, Don't Hate Me Because I Had The Guts To Follow My Heart!

In New York, We Tip Everyone. We Tip Doormen, We Tip Cab Drivers, And We Tip Bartenders At The Bar. You'll Get Quite An Evil Eye If You Don't Leave A Tip At The Bar.

I Went To Film School And Wanted To Learn Everything There Was About Making Movies.

Of Course Killing People Is 'wrong', But I Think History Shows That Sometimes It Serves The Greater Good.

I Mean, I Know Thousands Of People Died And Everything, But If It Happened Today, There's Just No Excuse. They'd Be Much Safer Inside A Movie Theater Watching One Of My Movies Instead Of Burning Alive In A Collapsing Skyscraper.

Didn't We Learn Our Lesson From Planet Of The Apes?

I Once Looked In The Mirror At Myself And Noticed That, Without A Doubt, I Am A Sexy Man. In Fact, I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Married...it Just Wouldn't Be Fair For My Spouse To Catch Me Enjoying A Look In The Mirror More Than Having Sex With Her.

Eight Gold Medals? If I Wanted I Could Make A Movie About Me Winning Nine Gold Medals. Now That's Real Power.

You Know How They Do That Effect In Movies, Where They Make It Look Like You Have A Twin, But It's Really Just The Same Actor Playing Both Characters In The Scene? I Knew This Would Be The Best Route, But I Just Wasn't Comfortable Dressing As A Woman, So I Had To Hire Other Actors.

Am I Really Gonna Deny Someone The Opportunity Of A Lifetime Just Because They Met Me 5 Easters Early?

I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As Much As I Love Touching Myself In Front Of Orphans.

It's... It's Such A Weird Thing. After Garden State, So Many Companies Wanted To Make My Movies, And After The Last Kiss, I Realized People Would Make Anything I Was In. As Long As I Keep This Up I'll Be Swimming In Chubby Indie Girl Pussy.

I Certainly Do Not Consider Myself The Next Jesus. I'd Say He Was More Of A Precursor To Zach Braff.

Well I Can Understand Why Men Want It To Be Legal. Obviously They're All Hoping They Might Get To Marry Me Someday. I Hate To Burst Their Bubble, But They Should Just Give It Up Now. Zach Braff Doesn't Sway That Way, You Know?

I Think They're Bogus, Honestly. How Utter Garbage Like Crash And Million Dollar Baby Can Win Best Picture, Where True Works Of Art Such As Garden State Go Untouched Is Beyond Me. It Just Proves How Close-minded America Really Is, And I Refuse To Take Part In It.

You Want To Know The Secret Of My Success? Let Me Tell You About Eugenics.

It's A Give And Take Relationship With My Fans. They Give Me Love And Adoration, And I Take It From Them.

I'm Not Saying I Hate Jews, I'm Just Saying That I Think They Shouldn't Be Alive Any More.

I Tried It A Few Times But Didn't See The Point. I'm Zach Braff. What The Fudge Do I Need A Team For Besides Holding Me Back And Sucking? If I Wanted That, I'd Just Walk On The Set Of 'scrubs'.

When I Let Some Girl Take Me In Her Mouth I Think This Is What Jesus Must Feel Like During Communion.

If I Wasn't An Actor? Hmm, I'd Probably Be A Serial Killer. I'm Just So Damn Likeable, No One Would Ever Suspect Me.

She Can't Say No If She's Unconscious.

As A Kid Who Wasn't Into Sports, At School I Felt Almost Alienated At Times, Whereas In The Theatre Community There Was This Amazing Sense Of Camaraderie. Early On, We Would Go To Rehearsals With My Dad And I Was Like The Mascot For The Backstage Crew. That Was A Big Part Of My Childhood, So I Dreamed Of One Day Doing A Play In London.

At This Point I Feel Like I Could Go Out And Accomplish Anything. I'd Just Love To See Will Smith's Face If He Found Out I, Z-braff, Have The Number One Rap Album In The Country. That'd Show That No-talent Uncle Tom.

Oh Sure, I Have A Few Black People In My Family Tree. They're Probably Still Hanging There.

I Always Liked The Story Of Noah's Ark And The Idea Of Starting Anew By Rescuing The Things You Like And Leaving The Rest Behind.

I'm A Film Geek Man. I Love Toys. I Love Everything In Filmmaking, So For Me To Just Be Around This Technology Is Just So Cool To Watch It Being Used For The First Time, Some Of The Stuff.

I've Never Had Much Sympathy For Orphans, I Mean, When I Was Their Age I Would Have Killed To Have No Parents To Make Me Clean My Room And Stuff

It Turns Out Superman Is Weak To Kryptonite And Horses.

I Have No Desire To Make Money Off Musicians. I Just Want To Promote Them Because I Want To Share Music.

It Was Really Starting To Get Pathetic, Everyday They Would Come In Looking For One Thing Or Another. 'zach, Can You Give Me Some Acting Tips?' 'zach, Will You Let Me Blow You?' 'can I Have Some Cash?' That's When I Made The Call, That's When I Decided Seven Was Enough

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There's A Lot Of Gray Area In The Law. Who Can Say, Without A Doubt, That I Was In The Wrong?

I Could See Why Someone Would Want To Make A Website About Me, And My Quotes. They Are All Gold. How Many People Have Written, Directed And Starred In Their Own Movies. I Just Don't Know Why They Would Want To Put Words Into My Mouth, I Mean I Did Write, Direct And Star In A Critically Acclaimed Movie.

One Time A Reporter Asked Me What My Worst Quality Was. I Looked Him In The Eyes Then Punched Him In The Face. I Kind Of Felt Bad About It Later, But He Didn't Need To Be Rude.

I Know That [mike] Tyson Talked About Wanting To Eat His Opponent's Children, But I Don't Think He Ever Had The Balls To Do It. I'm Different - When I Kidnapped Bill Lawrence's Daughter, I Cut Off All Of Her Fingers Before Sending My Demands So That I Wouldn't Have To Sit There And Wait For Him To Ignore Them. We Worked Things About About Nine Hours In, Which Is Good Because I Ate Her Thumb As A Midnight Snack.

I Remember Once I Went To Go See A Movie, And In Front Of Me In Line There Was A Little Boy Who Looked So Eager To See It, Like It Was Christmas Morning. When He Got To The Ticket Booth It Turned Out There Was Only One Ticket Left; The Manager Was There And Wanted To Give It To Me Instead Since I Was Famous. That's When I Knew I'd Hit It Big.

Without Me, Scrubs Would Be Worse Than The Holocaust. But With Me In It, It's Turned Into The Lolocaust.

I Said, I'm On This Tv Show And I Love Doing It, But I Don't Want To Be Known Always As The Silly "scrubs" Guy... So Part Of Me Was Like, You Know What? Life's Short. Let's Go For It.

My Favorite Meal? It Has To Be Furburgers Everyday In The Morning.

Let's Face It, It's Only Called Scrubs Because I'm Saving 'zach Braff' For My Autobiography.

Well It's Not That I Hate Them, But Honestly If I Saw Two Homeless People Begging For Money, One White And One Black, And I Only Had One Quarter... Well I'd Probably Keep It Actually.

I Always Encourage Over-tipping If You Can Afford It Because Share The Wealth.

I Like Hot Dogs. I Like Eggplant. I Like Pizza And Creamed Corn And Beer. But I Don't Like Arabs.

The Easiest Way To Lose Something Is To Want It Too Badly.

I Think Slavery Was An Awful, Awful Period In Our History, But When I Look At What's Become Of Black Culture Since Emancipation, I Think You Have To Admit, Maybe The Confederacy Was On To Something

I Can't Say I Agree With Something That Takes The Focus Away From Me.

Minutes To Learn, A Lifetime To Master. People Just Don't Understand That

Most People Just Aren't Grateful For The Lives They Have, And It Really Saddens Me. For Instance, I Said 'hello' To A Man The Other Day, And He Didn't Even Recognize Me. It Just Really Saddens Me.

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Jonathan Edwards

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