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A Better You Means A Better Universe.

-Jim Carrey

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A Better You Means

Jim Carrey

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A Better You Means A Better Universe.

Views: 78952

Topic

Self Confidence

More From Jim Carrey

It Is Better To Risk Starving To Death Then Surrender. If You Give Up On Your Dreams, What's Left?

I Hate Christmas. I Do Think It Is Odd That I Have Wound Up Playing These Two Iconic Christmas Haters. It Is The Same Story, In A Way. Scrooge Is The Original Grinch. I Think I Am Perfectly Suited, Because I Have Had Some Dark Christmases.

I Don't Ever Want To Stick Myself In One Category. I Do Really Love Making Movies, But The Thing About Live Performances Is You Don't Have To Wait Around. Literally, We're Still Waiting To See What The Reaction Is To The Film, So It's A Slower Process. But It Is Enjoyable.

Movies Are Great, But The Real Romance Happens Right Here Somewhere As Real Close-up. Either You're The One Erasing Or You're The One Being Erased, So... It's Not A Pleasant Feeling!

I Want To Be The Greatest Actor That Ever Lived, Frankly. I'd Love That. But I Don't Need To Be. I Just Want To Be Here. That's It.

Don't Worry If You Miss Your Cue, Because There's Always Doors Opening. They Keep Opening.

So Many Of Us Choose Our Path Out Of Fear Disguised As Practicality. What We Really Want Seems Impossibly Out Of Reach And Ridiculous To Expect, So We Never Dare To Ask The Universe For It.

The Wonderful Thing About Digital Process Is That I Can Be Cast In Films That I Would Never Be Cast In. If I Have It In My Soul To Play The Character It Doesn't Matter What My Face Looks Like, Or My Age. It's Really Liberating.

Everything You Gain In Life Will Rot And Fall Apart, And All That Will Be Left Of You Is What Was In Your Heart.

Your Need For Acceptance Can Make You Invisible In This World. Risk Being Seen In All Of Your Glory.

Don't You Just Hate It, When You Are In Bed With Three Beautiful Women, And The Least Attractive One Whispers: Save It For Me!

I Absolutely Want To Have A Career Where You Make'em Laugh And Make'em Cry. It's All Theater.

All There Will Ever Be Is What's Happening Here. Decisions We Make In This Moment Are Based On Either Love Or Fear. So Many Of Us Choose Our Path Out Of Fear, Disguised As Practicality.

Decisions We Make

The Future Is Now! Soon Every American Home Will Integrate Their Television, Phone And Computer. You'll Be Able To Visit The Louvre On One Channel, Or Watch Female Wrestling On Another. You Can Do Your Shopping At Home, Or Play Mortal Kombat With A Friend From Vietnam. There's No End To The Possibilities!

Just Because I Rock Doesn't Mean I Am Made Of Stone.

Funny Motivational

I Cannot Be Contained Because I Am The Container.

I Never Thought I Was Finished When People Said I Was Finished, Or Any Of That Stuff. I Always Had This Undying Belief That Even If I Was In A Wheelchair And I Could Only Move My Finger, Somehow I Would Become The Guy Who Does The Amazing Thing With His Finger.

I Don't Feel Any Pressure To Be Funny At All. I'm Funny Because I Want To Be Funny. I Could Sit Here And Be Serious For An Hour And You Would Go Away And Make Me Much Funnier Than I Am.

I Think Obsessions Happen Because You're Trying To Understand Something Or Some Urge.

Green Eggs And Ham Was The Story Of My Life. I Wouldn't Eat A Thing When I Was A Kid, But Dr. Seuss Inspired Me To Try Cauliflower!

If You've Got A Talent, Protect It.

I'd Like To Thank My Mother, My Father, The Academy. I'm Sorry. I Was Thinking Of Something Else.

Compassion Is The Currency That Leads To True Wealth.

In Retrospect It Always Seems To Work Out That You Can Look Back On Something That Was A Disaster And Find Some Gems In There.

Our Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose... And I Am A Little Thorny.

I'm A Perfectionist, So I'm Never Satisfied With Myself. I've Always Been Psychotic About That Kind Of Stuff--in A Good Way. I'm Very Disciplined. Like The Food And The Whole Thing, I'm Always Looking To "how Can I Eventually Just Turn Into A Ball Of Light And Fly Off The Planet?". Until That Happens And God Basically Pull The Blinds Back, I Will Not Be Satisfied... If I Found Out That If I Ate Pine Nuts For The Next Month I Could See God, I'd Be Eating Pine Nuts.

I Discovered A New Thing In The Lord's Prayer That Kind Of Hit Me. "on Earth As It Is Heaven" To Me It Means Whatever You Take Out Into The World Is What You're Going To Draw Out. Like Those Days When You're All Yang And No Yin, And You're Fighting With People Inside, And You Can't Calm Yourself Down, And Suddenly You're Pulled Over By The Cops. Everything Goes Wrong In The Same Day Because You Created It. So, If You Get Heaven Within You, It'll Be All Around You. If Hell Is Within You, It'll Be Around You. It's Always Created Here First.

The Inner Child Runs Rampant. They're Just Smaller, That's All.

Acting Is Divine Dissatisfaction. It's The Greatest Thing In The World To Do, But You Are Never Satisfied With It Ever.

I Get Excited When The People I Work With Scare Me. I Get Excited When I'm Surrounded By People Who Make Me Better And Make Me Stay On My Game And Challenge Me.

I Feel Like I Want To Take Care Of Everyone And I Also Feel This Terrible Guilt If I Am Unable To. And I Have Felt This Way Ever Since All This Success Started.

I Hope I'll Never Be Is Drunk With My Own Power.

You Know The Trouble With Real Life? There's No Danger Music.

My Focus Is To Forget The Pain Of Life. Forget The Pain, Mock The Pain, Reduce It. And Laugh.

I’ve Often Said That I Wish People Could Realize All Their Dreams And Wealth And Fame, So That They Could See That It’s Not Where They’re Gonna Find Their Sense Of Completion. Like Many Of You, I Was Concerned About Going Out Into The World And Doing Something Bigger Than Myself, Until Someone Smarter Than Myself Made Me Realize That There Is Nothing Bigger Than Myself. My Soul Is Not Contained Within The Limits Of My Body, My Body Is Contained Within The Limitlessness Of My Soul.

I'm Very Serious About No Alcohol, No Drugs. Life Is Too Beautiful.

Funny Sarcastic

Christmas Was Really Where I Started Coming Into My Own As A Performer Because I Did All This Stuff On My Own, All This Performing On My Own. When Other Kids Were Outside Playing, I Was In My Room Conjuring Characters And Impressions And Things Like That.

When You Are A Kid, You Need To Have Something To Do. This Will Keep You Off The Streets.

Isn't It Cool When The Days That Are Supposed To Feel Good, Actually Do?

Dry Land Is Not A Myth. I've Seen It. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I Don't Know What The Big Fuss Is About. I Saw That Movie Nine Times. It Rules!

I Think I Could Go Away Tomorrow. I've Already Accomplished Something. It's Such A Selfish Business That Sometimes I Get Sick Of Myself.

It's Nice To Finally Get Scripts Offered To Me That Aren't The Ones Tom Hanks Wipes His Butt With.

Some Nights It Was A Melee, Literally, Where I'd Be Standing Trying To Defend Myself For What I Was Doing. People Would Be Screaming At Me To Do My Old Act, And Getting Actually Violent And Angry At Me.

Comedy Started Out As My Hobby And Then It Became My Profession. It's Like Being On Call All The Time, Like Having A Built-in Beeper. You Can't Just Leave The Office And Relax Because You Never Know When You'll Think Of Something Funny.

I'm Always Trying To Complicate Things. For Some Reason I'll Go, "well, Maybe I Can Get That In," And Stuff Like That. I Always Make It Really Hard For Myself.

I Don't Believe In Bad People. I Believe That People, Somewhere Inside, Have The Potential To Realize Themselves.

I Would Challenge Anybody In Their Darkest Moment To Write What They're Grateful For, Even Stupid Little Things Like The Green Grass That Made Them Feel Good, The Friendly Conversation They Had With Somebody On An Alevator. You Start To Realize How Rich You Are.

I Got Paid A Lot Of Money At One Point So The Focus Became, For A Lot Of People, About That, But For Me, It's Always Been The Same Goal: To Stop The World For People.

The Purpose Of Art Is To Bring People Into Presence.

You Know, I Live A Monastic Lifestyle. No, I Do. I Do Live In Extremes, Basically. I Go Back And Forth. Once Every Six Months, I'll Have A Day Where I Eat More Chocolate Than Has Ever Been Consumed By A Human Being.

You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

Doing What You Love

Morgan Freeman Is So Class. He's So Cool. He's So Scary.

I Know This Sounds Strange, But As A Kid, I Was Really Shy. Painfully Shy. The Turning Point Was Freshman Year, When I Was The Biggest Geek Alive. No One, I Mean No One, Even Talked To Me.

Come Back Here So That I May Brain Thee!

50 Years: Here's A Time When You Have To Separate Yourself From What Other People Expect Of You, And Do What You Love. Because If You Find Yourself 50 Years Old And You Aren't Doing What You Love, Then What's The Point?

I Think If We All Acted The Way We Felt, Four Out Of Eight People At A Dinner Table Would Be Sitting There Sobbing.

Usually You Regret The Things You Say No To.

I Love Playing Ego And Insecurity Combined.

Humor Is Not Debatable. It's Like Sex. Either You're Aroused Or You're Not. Nobody Can Reason You Around To Their Point Of View.

I Refuse To Feel Guilty. I Feel Guilty About Too Much In My Life But Not About Money. I Went Through Periods When I Had Nothing, So Somebody In My Family Has To Get Stinkin' Wealthy.

You Are The Vanguard Of Knowledge And Consciousness; A New Wave In A Vast Ocean Of Possibilities.

I've Arrived At The Place If I'm Not Taking A Career Risk, I'm Not Happy. If I'm Scared, Then I Know I'm Being Challenged.

It's Time To P-a-r-t-why? Because I Gotta!

Hysterical In The Mask; Funny Yet Moving In The Truman Show.

Most Of The Time I Live With My Pain. I Have Pain But I Won't Show It Around. I Think That's The Nobility Of The Character. There's Something Noble In Not Spewing On People All The Time About Your Problems. I'm The Light Guy, So I Identified.

As Far As I Can Tell, It's Just About Letting The Universe Know What You Want And Then Working Toward It While Letting Go Of How It Comes To Pass.

There's Been A Thoughtfulness To Everything I Do. Even The Stupidest Things I Do Have Some Kind Of Point.

Before I Do Anything, I Think, Well What Hasn't Been Seen. Sometimes, That Turns Out To Be Something Ghastly And Not Fit For Society. And Sometimes That Inspiration Becomes Something That's Really Worthwhile.

I Enjoy Fame Except When I'm With My Daughter. Kids Stop Me All The Time And I Don't Want Her To Be Jealous Of The Attention. Also, Sometimes I Just Want To Be Left Alone And I Refuse To Make Rubber Faces. That's When They Start Asking, What's The Matter, Man, Don't You Like Your Job? I Say, Yeah, I Like My Job. But I Also Like Having Sex, And I'm Not Going To Do That In Front Of You Either.

The Character Is What Trips You Up - The Thing Of, "i'm Going To Get So Dark In This Character That I'm Going To Get Lost In A Character." You Can't Get Lost In A Character. You Can Only Think You're Lost In A Character.

I Always Have Been Introspective, Since I Was A Little Kid, Since I Could Remember, I Was Sitting In A Closet Trying To Write Out The Meaning Of The Universe. That's Been My Whole Life.

I Don't Believe In This Fairy Tale Of Staying Together For Ever. Ten Years With Somebody Is Enough. In Ten Years, You Can Give A Lot Of Love.

I Learned Many Great Lessons From My Father, Not The Least Of Which, Was That You Can Fail At What You Don't Want So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love

Doing What You Love

Fear Is Going To Be A Player In Your Life, But You Get To Decide How Much. You Can Spend Your Whole Life Imagining Ghosts, Worrying About The Pathway To The Future, But All It Will Ever Be Is What's Happening Here, The Decisions In That We Make In This Moment, Which Are Based In Either Love Or Fear.

I'm The First To Admit This Whole Salary Thing Is Getting Out Of Control. In The Final Analysis, It's Still About The Work.

I Try To Do Something The Audience Might Not Have Seen Before.

Never Been Kissed

The Purpose Of My Life Had Always Been To Free People From Concern, Like My Dad... How Will You Serve The World? What Do They Need That Your Talent Can Provide? That’s All You Have To Figure Out... The Effect You Have On Others Is The Most Valuable Currency There Is. Everything You Gain In Life Will Rot And Fall Apart, And All That Will Be Left Of You Is What Was In Your Heart.

Movies Are Great, But The Real Romance Happens Right Here, Somewhere - Real Close-up. I Really Couldn't Have Done It If I Hadn't Been Through A Lot One Way Or Another. Either You're The One Erasing Or You're The One Being Erased, So It's Not A Pleasant Feeling!

I Praticed Making Faces In The Mirror And It Would Drive My Mother Crazy. She Used To Scare Me By Saying That I Was Going To See The Devil If I Kept Looking In The Mirror. That Fascinated Me Even More, Of Course.

If I Had Never Ventured Beyond Being A Stand-up Comic, Then I Would Be Sitting In My House Today Working On My Leonardo Dicaprio Impression.

Maybe There Is No Actual Place Called Hell. Maybe Hell Is Just Having To Listen To Our Grandparents Breathe Through Their Noses When They're Eating Sandwiches.

I Have No Limits! I Cannot Be Contained Because I'm The Container.

I Just Love To Skate. When I Put A Skate On The Ice, I'm Free From The World, And I Have No Problems At All. I Am A Bird!

I Need Privacy. I Would Think That Because What I Do Makes A Lot Of People Happy That I Might Deserve A Little Bit Of Respect In Return. Instead, The Papers Try To Drag Me Off My Pedestal.

I Like To Enjoy Life, I Like To Engage In Life, So I Would Say I'm A Yes Man.

Well This Is Just A Fist. But When I Start Throwing It Around I Can Leave One Hell Of A Mess.

Hope Walks Through The Fire. Faith Leaps Over It.

150 People Die Every Year From Being Hit By Falling Coconuts. Not To Worry, Drug Makers Are Developing A Vaccine.

It's Always Good I Think In General To Have Different Energies On Screen, Like It's Nice To Have Different Characters Go At Different Speeds, Just Like Different People Work At Different Speeds.

When The First Big Paycheque With 'dumb And Dumber' Hit, I Went: 'gosh, I Wonder If This Will Affect My Performance. Will I Do A Take And Think, Was That Worth $7 Million?' But That Never Happened. If Anything, It Made Me Rebel Against That Thing When People Who Get Rich Start Playing It Safe.

If You Aren't In The Moment, You Are Either Looking Forward To Uncertainty, Or Back To Pain And Regret.

It's Hard For Anybody Who's Been With Me Not To Feel Starved For Affection When I'm Making Love To My Ideas. Maybe It's Not Meant For Me To Settle Down And Be Married.

My Dad Was Like A Stage Mother He Always Pushed Me To Do What I Wanted.

Life Doesn't Happen To You, It Happens For You.

I Can Be Your Best Friend Or Your Worst Enemy. You Seem To Prefer The Latter.

The Worst Thing In The World When You Feel Broken Is To Have Somebody Coming At You With Open-faced Love.

I Have Spiritual Beliefs That I Could Literally Go Out And Make An Entire Comedy Routine About, And Tour As Some Sort Of Spiritual Guru, But It Kind Of Goes Against That [as] I Actually Believe The Things, So I'm Always Kind Of Caught In The Middle.

Like Many Of You, I Was Concerned About Going Out Into The World And Doing Something Bigger Than Myself. Until Someone Smarter Than Myself Made Me Realize That There Is Nothing Bigger Than Myself.

If We (lauren And Jim) Ever Get Married, We're Just Going To Put Helmets On, Run Into Each Other From A Hundred Yards, And Smash Together Like Rams

Creative People Don't Behave Very Well Generally. If You're Looking For Examples Of Good Relationships In Show Business, You're Gonna Be Depressed Real Fast. I Don't Have Time For Anything Else Right Now But Work And My Daughter. She's My First Priority.

There Was A Time When People Said, 'jim, If You Keep On Making Faces, Your Face Will Freeze Like That.' Now They Just Say, 'pay Him!'

So Many Of Us Choose Our Path Out Of Fear Disguised As Practicality.

People Need Motivation To Do Anything. I Don't Think Human Beings Learn Anything Without Desperation.

My Family Kinda Hit The Skids. We Were Experiencing Poverty At That Point. We All Got A Job, Where The Whole Family Had To Work As Security Guards And Janitors. And I Just Got Angry.

Security Guards

It's Our Intention. Our Intention Is Everything. Nothing Happens On This Planet Without It. Not One Single Thing Has Ever Been Accomplished Without Intention.

Ever Since I Started To Get Recognition I've Picked Out Certain Fans And Reverse-stalked Them.

The Exit From Agony Is Always There. The Tunnel Out Of The Agony Sector Is Always In Front Of You And Yet You Don't Take It. You Don't Take It By Choice. You Want To Indulge A Lot And Be In Pain. The Easiest Way Out Is To Write A List Of What You're Grateful For. If Everybody Literally Did That Before They Went To Bed At Night, There'd Be No Unhappy People.

To Find Real Peace You Have To Let The Armor Go. Your Need For Acceptance Can Make You Invisible In This World. Don't Let Anything Stand In The Way Of The Light That Shines Through This Form. Risk Being Seen In All Of Your Glory.

The Money Can Be A Hindrance To Someone Like Me Because The Danger Is That You Start Thinking, 'is That A $20 Million Take?' That Kind Of Thing, And Being Self-critical.

You Love The Person For Who They Are, Flaws And All. You Can't Help Who You Love, Either. It Comes From A Different Side Of Your Brain Than The Logic Part That Tells You That This Person Is Horrible For You - "you Should Walk Away!" While You're Walking Away, The Other Part Of Your Brain Is Trying To Gain Control Of Your Bodily Functions. "turn Around! She's The One!"

Every Character I Do Is Something Special To Me. Every Time You Score With A Great Character Relationship In A Movie, It Becomes Your Baby.

Every Character Is A Baby. You Can't Choose Between Them. If You Can, You Didn't Do Your Job. You Have To Fall In Love With Every Character.

Falling In Love

I Feel Like I've Lived The Dream For Sure, I'm The Luckiest Guy In The World And I Never Forget That. I Always Feel Like I'm Proof Of Positive Thought And Manifestation, And That Faith Is More Important Than Talent. But If You Have Both You're Really Doing Something.

I've Never Been One To Sit Back And Go, 'i'd Better Do What The Audience Wants Me To Do, Because I Don't Want To Lose Them.'

Heaven Is On The Other Side Of That Feeling You Get When You’re Sitting On The Couch And You Get Up And Make A Triple-decker Sandwich. It’s On The Other Side Of That, When You Don’t Make The Sandwich. It’s About Sacrifice... It’s About Giving Up The Things That Basically Keep You From Feeling. That’s What I Believe, Anyway. I’m Always Asking, "what Am I Going To Give Up Next?" Because I Want To Feel.

Madness Is Never That Far Away. It's As Close As Saying Yes To The Wrong Impulse.

The Only Thing That Has Ever Consumed Me Is Love From Time To Time. Feeling Like, 'what Is It? How Do I Get It?'

When I Started To Realise How Important The Film Was To People I Thought There Is A Lot Of Negative Stuff Going On In The World, Maybe They Need These Two People

Fear Is Going To Be A Player In Your Life, But You Get To Decide How Much.

A Better You Means A Better Universe.

Self Confidence

If You Give Up On Your Dreams, What's Left?

My Life Is Not Unlike Truman's. I Can't Go Anywhere.

Be Grateful. Find Something To Be Grateful For. Don't Do Too Many Things That Make You Feel Like You Deserve To Lose Because We Do Program Our Own Computers. I Believe There Is A Plus And A Minus Column And If You End Up On The Minus Column, Your Own Conscience Will Make You Lose.

What’s Yours? How Will You Serve The World? What Do They Need That Your Talent Can Provide? That’s All You Have To Figure Out.

I'm Not A Bible Thumper, I'm Not Any Of That Stuff, But I Do Believe That The Force Is With Us.

I Was On Prozac For A Long Time. It May Have Helped Me Out Of A Jam For A Little Bit, But People Stay On It Forever.

The Effect You Have On Others Is The Most Valuable Currency There Is.

Graduation Speech

I Think Everybody Should Get Rich And Famous And Do Everything They Ever Dreamed Of So They Can See That It's Not The Answer.

The Era Of ‘yes’ Has Begun.

One Thing I Hope I'll Never Be Is Drunk With My Own Power. And Anybody Who Says I Am Will Never Work In This Town Again.

I Expected That Most Of My Career Would Be In Dramatic Acting. My Hero Was James Dean.

I'm So Wrapped Up In My Work That It's Often Impossible To Consider Other Things In My Life. My Marriage Ended In Divorce Because Of This, My Relationship With Holly Has Suffered By This.

My Spiritual Journey Has Been A Good Kind Of Thing I've Been On. I Guess Some People Would Say I'm Obsessed With It, But In A Really Good Way. It's Just Enjoyable. I Don't Really Have Crazy Obsessions About Things.

I Used To Draw A Lot. If My Mother Would Ask Me To Do Something Else, I'd Have A Hairy Conniption. I'd Just Go Crazy.

I Don't Think I'm Ever Going To Have The Kind Of Life Or Schedule That I Can Really Have A Steady Way Of Doing Things.

You Can Fail At What You Don’t Want, So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

Take A Chance On Faith - Not Religion, But Faith. Not Hope, But Faith. I Don’t Believe In Hope. Hope Is A Beggar. Hope Walks Through The Fire. Faith Leaps Over It.

I Just Wanna Hang Out. No Big Deal!

My Report Card Always Said, 'jim Finishes First And Then Disrupts The Other Students'.

One Man's Toxic Waste Is Another Man's Potpourri.

Flowers Don't Worry About How They're Going To Bloom. They Just Open Up & Turn Toward The Light & That Makes Them Beautiful.

I Don't Make It In Regular Channels, And That's Okay For Me.

As Far As I'm Concerned, Everything Bad That Happens In The World Stems From The Same Place, They're People Who Don't Feel Important.

I Have Been The Guy Who Has Everything But Yet Is So One-track Minded About What I Want, That I Can't See My Blessings.

I Hope Everybody Could Get Rich And Famous.

I Don't Think Human Beings Learn Anything Without Desperation. Desperation Is A Necessary Ingredient To Learning Anything Or Creating Anything. Period. If You Ain't Desperate At Some Point, You Ain't Interesting.

Ya Know What I Do Almost Every Day? I Wash. Personal Hygiene Is Part Of The Package With Me.

Personal Hygiene

Everybody Expects The Fairy Tale - You're Going To Be Together Forever With Somebody. I Don't Really Subscribe To That. I'd Love That To Happen If That Happened, But Ten Years Is Enough. Ten Years Is A Good Thing With Somebody, I Think. It's A Nice Thing. A Lot Of Good Love Can Happen In Ten Years.

It's Always Fun To Do Something That You Know Ultimately Is Not About The Money, And It's Certainly Not For The Fame - Because It's A Pain In The Ass. But It's Really The Person In The Theater Seat You Think About When You Sit In A Room And Write.

I Think Projects Find Me. It's Really Interesting. Everything I've Done, From "the Truman Show," The "eternal Sunshine" To "yes Man" And "bruce Almighty," Always Come Into My Life At The Perfect Time.

I Don't Hate You For Loving You. I Just Hate My Heart For Choosing Someone Like You.

If I'm Not Back In 5 Minutes, Just Wait Longer.

Until Ace Ventura, No Actor Had Considered Talking Through His Ass.

I Enjoy My Life. The Fame Part Of It Freaked Me Out For A Little While, And There Are Definitely Times When It's Not So Great To Be Special And Known By Everybody - You Know, When You're Wearing The Wrong Thing, Or Just In A Vulnerable Place. But I'm Good With My Life Now.

My Soul Is Not Contained Within The Limits Of My Body; My Body Is Contained Within The Limitlessness Of My Soul.

I Started Out Performing As A Little Boy, I Was Trying To Make My Mother Feel Better And Laugh Because She Was Sick And In Pain All The Time. I Found Out That I Had That Power To Relieve Her.

I Wrote Myself A Check For Ten Million Dollars For Acting Services Rendered And Dated It Thanksgiving 1995. I Put It In My Wallet And It Deteriorated. And Then, Just Before Thanksgiving 1995, I Found Out I Was Going To Make Ten Million Dollars For Dumb & Dumber. I Put That Check In The Casket With My Father Because It Was Our Dream Together.

I Like Challenges And I Don't Believe In Failure. I Don't Believe In Regrets. I Believe Suffering, Failure - All Those Concepts - Are Things That Are Absolutely Necessary To Make Us The Best People That We Can Be, The Best At Whatever We Want To Do.

I Said Yes To So Many Things, From A Sex Change To Gastric By-pass Surgery, So It's Always Paid Off For Me.

I Wish Everyone Could Experience Being Rich And Famous, So They'd See It Wasn't The Answer To Anything.

Life Is An Ordeal, Albeit An Exciting One, But I Wouldn't Trade It For The Good Old Days Of Poverty And Obscurity.

I Don't Care If People Think I Am An Overactor, As Long As They Enjoy What I Do. People Who Think That Would Call Van Gogh An Overpainter.

The Dating Process Is Not Normal For Me.

Uh Uh Uh, Turning The Car Into Oncoming Traffic... Is Counterproductive!

Counterproductive

You Are Ready And Able To Do Beautiful Things In This World....you Will Only Ever Have Two Choices: Love Or Fear. Choose Love, And Don’t Ever Let Fear Turn You Against Your Playful Heart.

I Would Visualize Things Coming To Me. It Would Just Make Me Feel Better. Visualization Works If You Work Hard. That's The Thing. You Can't Just Visualize And Go Eat A Sandwich.

I Think We're Past The Time In History Where You Have To Come Out And Say, "i'm Happy All The Time! I'm A Joker! I'm A Crazy Man!" I Think People Understand That I Can Turn That Switch On But That I'm Also A Sensitive, Normal Human Being With Feelings And I Know How To Express Those Too.

I Love Acting. I Love Play-acting. I Love Pretending. I Love Telling Stories So Whether They Be Comedic Or Serious Or Whatever, It Doesn't Really Matter To Me. I Enjoy Telling A Good Story. I Have It All In Me.

My Psychiatrist Says I Have A Messiah Complex. But I Forgave Him.

I Love Stories About Teachers. For Some Reason I Can't Get Enough Of Those Kind Of Stories. If I Turn A Movie On About A Teacher, I Love It. I Love That Idea Of An Adult Influence On Kids.

I Just May Laugh At Different Things Than Most People. I Laugh At Mistakes. I Laugh At How You Recover From Mistakes. I See When People Go Off Their Material And It's Actually Happening In Front Of You And That Kind Of Stuff Excites Me.

It's Exhausting I Think To Just Say Really Yes To Everything For Real, Even If You Do It For A Day.

I Spent Most Of My Time In My Room Staring At A Mirror. I Never Knew I Was Supposed To Socialize. I Just Spent Hours Making Faces At Myself, Having A Good Time.

Maybe Other People Will Try To Limit Me But I Don't Limit Myself.

The Highs And Lows Of Show Business Is A Rollercoaster For Sure. There's So Many Highs, There's Just Moments Of Your Life Where You Go, "wow I Can't Believe How Insanely Lucky I Am," And Then You Can Turn Around And The Next Moment Feel So Completely Caught Up In Your Own Wanting, And Desiring, And Needing And Feel Like Somehow You're Missing Something. It's Just Higher The High, The Lower The Low.

There Are Peaks, There Are Valleys. But They're All Kind Of Carved And Smoothed Out, And It Feels Like A Low Level Of Despair You Live In. Where You're Not Getting Any Answers, But You're Living Ok. And You Can Smile At The Office. You Know? But It's A Low Level Of Despair. I Was On Prozac For A Long Time. It May Have Helped Me Out Of A Jam For A Little Bit, But People Stay On It Forever. I Had To Get Off At A Certain Point Because I Realized That, You Know, Everything's Just Ok.

Any1 Who Would Run Out To Buy An Assault Rifle After The Newtown Massacre Has Very Little Left In Their Body Or Soul Worth Protecting. ;^

I Don't Remember Yesterday. I Pretty Much Live In The Moment.

Live In The Moment

Our Eyes Are Not Viewers, They're Also Projectors That Are Running A Second Story Over The Picture That We See In Front Of Us All The Time. Fear Is Writing That Script, And The Working Title Is 'i'll Never Be Enough'

All I Want To Make Sure Of Is That She's Doing Something She Loves. Watch Your Kids When They Sit Down And Absolutely Get Lost In Something. Maybe That's What They Should Be Doing-the Thing They're Dying To Do All The Time.

Risk Being Seen In All Of Your Glory.

Graduation Speech

Lots Of People Say If You Dredge Too Much Stuff Up, You'll Go Crazy - "you'll Go Insane!" But For A Comedian, Insanity Is Not A Problem. It's A Goal.

Imagine If You Could Actually Be That Happy? That Would Be Powerful, Man. People Would Be Tunneling Under The Street To Avoid You. They'd Go 'oh, Man - Is That Happy Guy Still Out There?'

Always Turn Your Wheel In The Direction Of The Skid.

Movies Find Me, And I Kind Of Just Allow Them To Find Me.

I Just Want To Be Myself.

I Don't Know What Happened To Architecture [in Las-vegas] I Think They're Getting Us Ready For Space Colonies Or Something, Nobody Puts A Window In That You Can Crack.

I Wake Up Some Mornings And Sit And Have My Coffee And Look Out At My Beautiful Garden, And I Go, 'remember How Good This Is. Because You Can Lose It.'

I Try To Do Something The Audience Might Not Have Seen Before. Like If I'm Gonna Kiss A Girl I Wanna Kiss Her Like A Girl Has Never Been Kissed. Like Maybe I Would Kick Her Legs Out From Under Her And Catch Her Right Before She Hits The Ground And Then Kiss Her.

My Upbringing In Canada Made Me The Person I Am. I Will Always Be Proud To Be A Canadian.

Behind Every Great Man Is A Woman Rolling Her Eyes.

I'm Not Always Looking For The Laugh. I'm Not The Guy Who Sits In And Listens To Conversations And Wants To Jump In With Something Hilarious Every Two Seconds. I Actually Do Listen To People.

When Someone You Love Dies, You Don't Lose Them All At Once. You Lose Them In Pieces Over Time, Like How The Mail Stops Coming.

I Really Want To Love Somebody. I Do. I Just Don't Know If It's Possible Forever And Ever.

I Really Believe In The Philosophy That You Create Your Own Universe. I'm Just Trying To Create A Good One For Myself.

I've Been On A Quest For Spiritual Answers For A Long Time. The Things I've Learned About Interconnectedness And Non-duality And The Feeling Of Tapping Into Your Soul That Goes Beyond The Edge Of Your Skin Is Important To Me. Once I Learned That, I'm Far Less Often Trapped In My Own Little Man Problems. Me Against The Universe Problems.

I Think It's Important Never To Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth, Never To Overlook Your Talents [and] What You're Good At.

You Are Ready And Able To Do Beautiful Things In This World.

I Think There Are Beautiful Moments. These Days Everybody Expects That Fairy Tale , That You're Going To Be Together Forever With Somebody And I Don't Really Subscribe To That. I'd Love That To Happen If That Happened, But 10 Years Is Enough. 10 Years Is A Good Thing With Somebody, I Think. It's A Nice Thing. A Lot Of Good Love Can Happen In 10 Years.

I Love The Idea That 'a Person Is A Person No Matter How Small'.

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Langston Hughes

Warren Cuccurullo

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