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What Could Be Nicer Than To Have Three Horrible Children Behind You In An Airplane, And The Next Set, You Go Onstage And You Talk About How Much You Despise The Children And What You Would Like To Do To Them On An Airplane? That's The Only Time I Would Gladly Take A Terrorist On. It'd Be Worth It To Get Rid Of These Children.

-Joan Rivers

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What Could Be Nicer

Joan Rivers

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What Could Be Nicer Than To Have Three Horrible Children Behind You In An Airplane, And The Next Set, You Go Onstage And You Talk About How Much You Despise The Children And What You Would Like To Do To Them On An Airplane? That's The Only Time I Would Gladly Take A Terrorist On. It'd Be Worth It To Get Rid Of These Children.

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[when Told That Her Grandchild Had Her Nose:] I Didn't Get This Nose Until I Was Thirty-four.

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I’ve Had So Much Plastic Surgery, When I Die They Will Donate My Body To Tupperware.

With Age Comes Wisdom. You Don't Need Big Boobs To Be Feminine. Look At Liberace.

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Life Is Very Tough. If You Don't Laugh, It's Tough.

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I Was My Own Buddy In Camp.

I Can't Like Watching Project Runway With Heidi Klum. There's Just Something Wrong About A German Woman Saying Who Goes And Who Stays

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Happiness, At My Age, Is Breathing

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I'm Telling You That At Eight She Knew More About Reproduction Than Xerox.

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It's So Long Since I've Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Who.

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