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We Used To Get 27, 28 Minutes To Do A Story In, And Now They're Lucky If They Get 18 Or 20 Minutes. So I Don't Think They Can Really Do A Beginning, A Middle, And An End Anymore. There's An Awful Lot Of One-line Jokes; Almost Every Line Is A Punchline. It's Not The Same, But There's Still Good Comedy Around.

-Dick Van Dyke

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We Used To Get

Dick Van Dyke

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We Used To Get 27, 28 Minutes To Do A Story In, And Now They're Lucky If They Get 18 Or 20 Minutes. So I Don't Think They Can Really Do A Beginning, A Middle, And An End Anymore. There's An Awful Lot Of One-line Jokes; Almost Every Line Is A Punchline. It's Not The Same, But There's Still Good Comedy Around.

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I Never Made A Good Movie.

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I Was Lucky To Get The Kinds Of Parts I Wanted. I Always Said I Didn't Want To Do Anything My Kids Can't See.

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I Grew Up In Danville, Illinois, Right In The Middle Of The State.

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I Think Most People Will Tell You That. They Can Go Along And, While They're Denying That They Are Addicted, Say It's Stress This, It's This, It's That. But I - It's - I Think - I Really Believe There Is A Gene. Some People Become Addicted And Others Don't.

I've Met Presidents, But I've Never Performed For One. I Said It Was The First Time In 50 Years I Actually Had Butterflies. You Know, The Obamas Were Sitting Out There, The Supreme Court, Maya Angelou, And Desmond Tutu For God's Sake, All In The Front Row.

Probably One Of The Happiest Moments, Outside The Birth Of All Of My Kids, Was The First Time We Won An Emmy, That The Show Won An Emmy. That Was A Big Night.

Oh, Well, My First Love Is Comedy Or Singing And Dancing.

I Married Somebody Half My Age, And Everybody Thought I Was Crazy, But She Is Just An Absolute Angel.

I've Retired So Many Times Now It's Getting To Be A Habit.

I Worked Nightclubs All Through My 20s, And I Was A Teetotaler.

I Was The Class Clown, You Know, That Kind Of Thing, And I Gathered Around Me A Group Of Guys Who Also Were Silly. I Was In All The Plays And Everything. But I Don't Know, At That Time Show Businesses Looked Like The Moon, You Know, It Was So Far Away. I Wanted To Be A Radio Announcer.

My Wife, As Proud As She Was Of Me, Hated Show Business For Good Reasons. There Was Something About The Spouse Always Being Pushed Out Of The Way, Shoved Aside. She Wanted To Get Away From It.

I Didn't Know The Answers, But I Could Feel That The Things That Gave Life Meaning Came From A Place Within And From The Nurturing Of Values Like Tolerance, Charity, And Community.

Meaning Of Life

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I Don't Have Any Children; I Have Four Middle-aged People.

I Wanted To Be Stan Laurel, Then I Wanted To Be Fred Astaire And Then Captain Kangaroo. I Actually Started Out As A Radio Announcer When I Was 17 And Never Left The Business So That's Literally 70 Years.

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Today, With The Subject Matter That's Around Politically, And Internationally And Everything, I Think Carl Reiner Would Have A Ball. I Think The Format Should Stay The Same. I'd Sure Love To See Him Dealing With It Today.

Dealing With It

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I Don't Play Golf. I Have More Fun Singing And Dancing.

Only Funny Line I've Had Was My First Day On The Set Of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They Were Making Me Up, And I Saw The Director Call The Makeup Man Over, And He Says "what Are We Going To Do About The Hooter?" And The Makeup Guy Said, "i'm Not A Plastic Surgeon." So I Started That Show With A Big Nose, And Quite Conscious Of It.

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But I Wish They Would Make A Musical Of Some Kind. I Miss Musicals So Much. You Don't See Them Anymore.

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I Did A Guest Shot On A Comedy Series Where They Did 20 To 30 Takes Of Everything. It's Just Gone By Then. The Joke Is Over. It's Not Funny Anymore, And Then Of Course, The Editor's The One That Has To Figure Out The Timing. I Think A Lot Depends On That.

Somebody Asked What I Wanted On My Gravestone. I'm Just Going To Put: 'glad I Could Help.'

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Walt Disney And I Always Said We Were Two Children Looking For Our Inner Adults.

You Need Someone To Love, And Something To Do That You Enjoy, And Something To Hope For, And That's Enough For Me.

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