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Trust Is A Function Of Both Character And Competence. Of Course You Can't Trust Someone Who Lacks Integrity, But If Someone Is Honest But They Can't Perform, You're Not Going To Trust Them Either. You Won't Trust Them To Get The Job Done.

-Stephen Covey

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Trust Is A Function

Stephen Covey

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Trust Is A Function Of Both Character And Competence. Of Course You Can't Trust Someone Who Lacks Integrity, But If Someone Is Honest But They Can't Perform, You're Not Going To Trust Them Either. You Won't Trust Them To Get The Job Done.

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It's Sometimes A Painful Process. It's A Change That Has To Be Motivated By A Higher Purpose, By The Willingness To Subordinate What You Think You Want Now For What You Want Later.

'in Empathic Listening You Listen With Your Ears, But You Also, And More Importantly, Listen With You Eyes And With Your Heart. You Listen For Feeling, For Meaning. You Listen For Behaviour. You Use Your Right Brain As Well As Your Left. You Sense, You Intuit, You Feel.' ... 'you Have To Open Yourself Up To Be Influenced'.

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My Temptation Is Emotional, And Resisting Will Further My Needed Weight Loss And Strengthen My Character. Furthermore, Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels.

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The Power Of Transcendent Vision Is Greater Than The Power Of The Scripting Deep Inside The Human Personality And It Subordinates It [the Scripting], Submerges It, Until The Whole Personality Is Reorganized In The Accomplishment Of That Vision.

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In This Knowledge-worker Age, It's Now Increasingly Tied To Doing Well In School So You Can Get Into Better Grad Schools So You Can Get Better Jobs - So The Pressure To Do Well Is Really High.

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Most Of Us Think We Don't Have Enough Time To Exercise. What A Distorted Paradigm! We Don't Have Time Not To. We're Talking About Three To Six Hours A Week - Or A Minimum Of Thirty Minutes A Day, Every Other Day. That Hardly Seems An Inordinate Amount Of Time Considering The Tremendous Benefits In Terms Of The Impact On The Other 162 - 165 Hours Of The Week.

Trust Is The Highest Form Of Human Motivation.

By Centering Our Lives On Timeless, Unchanging Principles, We Create A Fundamental Paradigm Of Effective Living. It Is The Center That Puts All Other Centers In Perspective.

Synergy Is Everywhere In Nature. If You Plant Two Plants Close Together, The Roots Commingle And Improve The Quality Of The Soil So That Both Plants Will Grow Better Than If They Were Separated. If You Put Two Pieces Of Wood Together, They Will Hold Much More Than The Total Weight Held By Each Separately. The Whole Is Greater Than The Sum Of Its Parts. One Plus One Equals Three Or More.

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Until We Take How We See Ourselves (and How We See Others) Into Account, We Will Be Unable To Understand How Others See And Feel About Themselves And Their World. Unaware, We Will Project Our Intentions On Their Behavior And Call Ourselves Objective.

Trust Is A Function Of Two Things: Character And Competence. Character Includes Your Integrity, Your Motive And Your Intent With People. Competence Includes Your Capabilities, Your Skills, And Your Track Record. Both Are Vital.

Our Character Is Basically A Composite Of Our Habits. Because They Are Consistent, Often Unconcious Patterns, They Constantly, Daily, Express Our Character.

Treat Them All The Same By Treating Them Differently.

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To Ignore The Unexpected (even If It Were Possible) Would Be To Live Without Opportunity, Spontaneity, And The Rich Moments Of Which "life" Is Made.

When We Value Correct Principles, We Have Truth - A Knowledge Of Things As They Are.

Nothing Is As Fast As The Speed Of Trust.

Every Person In The Organization Must Change Inside Their Hearts And Minds, So That They Themselves Become Principle Centred.

Unless You’re Continually Improving Your Skills, You’re Quickly Becoming Irrelevant.

They [nazi Captors]had More Liberty, More Options To Choose From In Their Environment; But He [viktor Frankl] Had More Freedom, More Internal Power To Exercise His Options.

Stop Setting Goals. Goals Are Pure Fantasy Unless You Have A Specific Plan To Achieve Them.

Executives Need To Understand The Economic Benefits Of Trust Dividend, Especially When The Behavior Is Real, Not Artificially Or Superficially Created As Pr To Manipulate Trust.

A Good Affirmation Has Five Basic Ingredients: It's Personal, It's Positive, It's Present Tense, It's Visual, And It's Emotional.

We're Constantly Making Choices About The Way We Spend Our Time. The Issue Is Not Between The Good And The Bad, But Between The Good And The Best. So Often, The Enemy Of The Best Is The Good.

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Our Character Is Basically A Composite Of Our Habits.

Feedback Often Tells You More About The Person Who Is Giving It Than About You.

Interdependent People Combine Their Own Efforts With The Efforts Of Others To Achieve Their Greatest Success.

Beginners Are Many; Finishers Are Few.

Compliance Does Not Foster Innovation, Trust Does. You Can't Sustain Long-term Innovation, For Example, In A Climate Of Distrust.

I Know It Is Possible Not Only To Restore Trust But To Actually Enhance It. The Difficult Things That We Got Through With The Important People In Our Lives Can Become Fertile Ground For The Growth Of Enduring Trust - Trust That Is Actually Stronger Because It's Been Tested And Proved Through Challenge.

When Life Does Not Go Our Way Or We Inadvertently Make A Mistake, It Is So Easy To Make Excuses, Place Blame On Others, Or Argue That Circumstances Were Against Us. But We Only Progress In Life To The Extent That We Take Responsibility For Our Actions And Attitudes, And Put Forth The Initiative Necessary To Create Our Own Circumstances.

Passion Is The Fire, Enthusiasm And Courage That An Individual Feels When She Is Doing Something She Loves While Accomplishing Worthy Ends, Something That Satisfies Her Deepest Needs.

I Love Interaction With Audiences. If Were My Choice, I Would Spend Most Of My Time Interacting With Audiences. Walking Around And Asking Them To Challenge Me.

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Principles Are Guidelines For Human Conduct That Are Proven To Have Enduring, Permanent Value.

The Principle Of Fasting Is Taught In Almost All Major World Religions As A Means Of Developing A Higher Level Of Self-mastery And Self-control, And Also A Deeper Awareness Of How Really Dependent We Are.

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Patience Is Emotional Diligence.

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Trust Is A Powerful Accelerator To Performance And When Trust Goes Up, Speed Also Goes Up While Cost Comes Down - Producing What We Call A Trust Dividend.

It's Like The More You Know The More You Know You Don't Know.

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The Ability To Establish, Grow, Extend, And Restore Trust Is The Key Professional And Personal Competency Of Our Time.

Live Simply And Appreciate What You Have. Give More. Expect Less.

Appreciate What You Have

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Involve People In The Problem And Work Out The Solution Together.

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Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood.

Look At The Weaknesses Of Others With Compassion, Not Accusation. It's Not What They're Not Doing Or Should Be Doing That's The Issue. The Issue Is Your Own Chosen Response To The Situation And What You Should Be Doing. If You Start To Think The Problem Is "out There," Stop Yourself. That Thought Is The Problem.

Trust Is The Glue That Holds Everything Together.

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Effective Communication Is Built On The Cement Of Trust. And Trust Is Based On Trustworthiness, Not Politics.

Trustworthiness

The Undisciplined Are Slaves To Moods, Appetites And Passions

Listen To Your Conscience Regarding Something That You Simply Know You Should Do, Then Start Small On It - Make A Promise And Keep It. Then Move Forward And Make A Little Larger Promise And Keep It. Eventually You'll Discover That Your Sense Of Honor Will Become Greater Than Your Moods, And That Will Give You A Level Of Confidence And Excitement That You Can Move To Other Areas Where You Feel You Need To Make Improvements Or Give Service.

People And Their Managers Are Working So Hard To Be Sure Things Are Done Right, That They Have Hardly Have Time To Decide If They Are Doing The Right Things.

Trust Is The Glue That Holds Everything Together. It Creates The Environment In Which All Of The Other Elements Win-win Stewardship Agreements, Self-directing Individuals And Teams, Aligned Structures And Systems, And Accountability Can Flourish.

Live, Love, Laugh, Leave A Legacy.

Leadership Without Mutual Trust Is A Contradiction In Terms.

The Key Is Taking Responsibility And Initiative, Deciding What Your Life Is About And Prioritizing Your Life Around The Most Important Things.

You Can't Hold Someone Accountable For Results If You Supervise Their Methods.

...to Learn And Not To Do Is Really Not To Learn. To Know And Not To Do Is Really Not To Know.

The Ability To Subordinate An Impulse To A Value Is The Essence Of The Proactive Person.

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Inspire (from The Latin Inspirare) Means To Breathe Life Into Another.

If We Do Not Teach Our Children, Societ Will. And They-and We-will Live With The Results.

If I Try To Use Human Influence Strategies And Tactics Of How To Get Other People To Do What I Want, To Work Better, To Be More Motivated, To Like Me And Each Other-while My Character Is Fundamentally Flawed, Marked By Duplicity And Insincerity-then, In The Long Run, I Cannot Be Successful. My Duplicity Will Breed Distrust, And Everything I Do-even Using So-called Good Human Relations Techniques-will Be Perceived As Manipulative.

Just As The Education Of Nerve And Sinew Is Vital To The Excellent Athlete And Education Of The Mind Is Vital To The Scholar, Education Of The Conscience Is Vital To The Truly Proactive, Highly Effective Person. Training And Educating The Conscience, However, Requires Even Greater Concentration, More Balanced Discipline, More Consistently Honest Living. It Requires Regular Feasting On Inspiring Literature, Thinking Noble Thoughts And, Above All, Living In Harmony With Its Still Small Voice.

Our Behavior Is Governed By Principles. Living In Harmony With Them Brings Positive Consequences; Violating Them Brings Negative Consequences.

The Person Who Is Truly Effective Has The Humility And Reverence To Recognize His Own Perceptual Limitations And To Appreciate The Rich Resources Available Through Interaction With The Hearts And Minds Of Other Human Beings.

The Heart And Soul Of Loving Yourself Is Integrity And The Peace Of Conscience It Inspires.

Loving Yourself

What Is Common Sense Isn't Common Practice.

We Judge Ourselves By Our Intentions. And Others By Their Actions.

The Deepest Hunger Of [a Child's] Human Heart Is To Be Understood, For Understanding Implicitly Affirms, Validates, Recognizes And Appreciates The Intrinsic Worth Of Another.

When We Succumb To Believing That We Are Victims Of Our Circumstances And Yield To The Plight Of Determinism, We Lose Hope, We Lose Drive, And We Settle Into Resignation And Stagnation.

Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels.

When People Seriously Undertake To Identify What Really Matters Most To Them In Their Lives, What They Really Want To Be And Do, They Become Very Reverent. They Start To Think In Larger Terms Than Today And Tomorrow.

There Are Three Constants In Life... Change, Choice And Principles.

You Can't Live Principals You Can't Understand.

A Cardinal Principle Of Total Quality Escapes Too Many Managers: You Cannot Continuously Improve Interdependent Systems And Processes Until You Progressively Perfect Interdependent, Interpersonal Relationships.

Every Exaggeration Of The Truth Once Detected By Others Destroys Our Credibility And Makes All That We Do And Say Suspect.

It's Better To Be Trusted Than To Be Liked.

Empathic Listening Takes Time, But It Doesn't Take Anywhere Near As Much Time As It Takes To Back Up And Correct Misunderstandings When You're Already Miles Down The Road; To Redo; To Live With Unexpressed And Unsolved Problems; To Deal With The Results Of Not Giving People Psychological Air.

If You Want To Get Something Done, Give It To A Busy Man.

Empathic Listening Is So Powerful Because It Gives You Accurate Data To Work With. Instead Of Projecting Your Own Autobiography And Assuming Thoughts, Feelings, Motives And Interpretation, You're Dealing With The Reality Inside Another Person's Head And Heart. You're Listening To Understand. You're Focused On Receiving The Deep Communication Of Another Human Soul.

Frustration Is A Function Of Our Expectations.

Vision Is About More Than Just Getting Things Done, Accomplishing Some Task, Achieving Something; It Is About Discovering And Expanding Our View Of Others, Affirming Them, Believing In Them, And Helping Them Discover And Realize The Potential Within Them-helping Them Find Their Own Voice.

Only After We Can Learn To Forgive Ourselves Can We Accept Others As They Are Because We Don't Feel Threatened By Anything About Them Which Is Better Than Us.

The Creative Process Is Also The Most Terrifying Part Because You Don't Know Exactly What's Going To Happen Or Where It Is Going To Lead. You Don't Know What New Dangers And Challenges You'll Find. It Takes An Enormous Amount Of Internal Security To Begin With The Spirit Of Adventure, Discovery, And Creativity. Without Doubt, You Have To Leave The Comfort Zone Of Base Camp And Confront An Entirely New And Unknown Wilderness.

As People Enable Themselves To Achieve One Or Two Goals For The Year That Are Most Meaningful, They Will Find Power, Peace Of Mind, And Confidence In Their Abilities Because They Have Achieved What They Set Out To Accomplish. Your Commitment To Achieving What Matters Most Will Become The Foundation For Tremendous Accomplishments And Contributions. You Will Become The Change You Seek To Make.

If We Want To Make A Change In Our Lives, We Should First Focus On Our Personal Attitudes And Behaviors.

Opposition Is A Natural Part Of Life. Just As We Develop Our Physical Muscles Through Overcoming Opposition - Such As Lifting Weights - We Develop Our Character Muscles By Overcoming Challenges And Adversity.

We're Responsible For Our Own Lives.

Keep In Mind That You Are Always Saying "no" To Something. If It Isn't To The Apparent And Urgent Things In Your Life, It Is Probably To The Most Fundamental, Highly Important Things.

Trust Is Clearly A Key Competency. A Competency Or Skill That Can Be Learned, Taught, And Improved And One That Talent Can Be Screened For.

Most Of Us Spend Too Much Time On What Is Urgent And Not Enough Time On What Is Important.

Priorities In Life

If I Were To Summarize In One Sentence The Single Most Important Principle I Have Learned In The Field Of Interpersonal Relations, It Would Be This: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood. This Principle Is The Key To Effective Interpersonal Communication.

Would You Not Agree That Relationships Are Built On Trust? Would You Not Also Agree That Most Individuals Think More In Terms Of "me-my Wants, My Needs, My Rights? What Would Wisdom Dictate - Would It Not Direct Us To Focus On Trust-building Principles And Sacrificing 'me' For 'we'?"

Technology And Tools Are Useful And Powerful When They Are Your Servant And Not Your Master.

Habit 7 Is Taking The Time To Sharpen The Saw. By Renewing The Four Dimensions Of Your Nature - Physical, Spiritual, Mental And Social/emotional, You Can Work More Quickly And Effortlessly. To Do This, We Must Be Proactive. This Is A Quadrant Ii (important, Not Urgent) Activity That Must Be Acted On. It's At The Center Of Our Circle Of Influence, So We Must Do It For Ourselves.

Efficient Management Without Effective Leadership Is, As One Individual Phrased, It, "like Straightening Deck Chairs On The Titanic".

All Things Are Created Twice. There's A Mental Or First Creation, And A Physical Or Second Creation Of All Things. You Have To Make Sure That The Blueprint, The First Creation, Is Really What You Want, That You've Thought Everything Through. Then You Put It Into Bricks And Mortar. Each Day You Go To The Construction Shed And Pull Out The Blueprint To Get Marching Orders For The Day. You Begin With The End In Mind.

Bricks And Mortar

The Leader Is The One Who Climbs The Tallest Tree, Surveys The Entire Situation, And Yells, 'wrong Jungle!' ... Busy, Efficient Producers And Managers Often Respond ... 'shut Up! We're Making Progress!'

Belief Is Another Word For Paradigm. It's A Synonymous. Your Belief Of The Way Things Are. Values Are The Way Things Should Be, It's A Paradigm Of The Way Things Should Be. Beliefs Are The Paradigms Of The Way Things Are.

Balance Isn't Either/or; It's 'and'.

Don't Cheat People Of Their Growth. Empower Them To Solve Problems And Generate Ideas. Watch Them Grow!

More Essential Than Working On Attitudes And Behaviors Is Examining The Paradigms Out Of Which Those Attitudes And Behaviors Flow.

If You Organize Your Family Life To Spend Even Ten Or Fifteen Minutes A Morning Reading Something That Connects You With These Timeless Principles, Its Almost Guaranteed That You Will Make Better Choices During The Day--in The Family, On The Job, In Every Dimension Of Life. Your Thoughts Will Be Higher. Your Interactions Will Be More Satisfying. You Will Have A Greater Perspective. You Will Increase That Space Between What Happens To You And Your Response To It. You Will Be More Connected To What Really Matters Most.

Basing Our Happiness On Our Ability To Control Everything Is Futile.

Pursuit Of Happiness

What Difference Would A Clear Vision Of My Principles, Values, And Ultimate Objectives Make In The Way I Spend My Time?

We Exhaust Ourselves More From The Tension And The Consequences Of Internal Disharmony Than From Hard, Unremitting Work.

Moving Along The Upward Spiral Requires Us To Learn, Commit, And Do On Increasingly Higher Planes. We Deceive Ourselves If We Think That Any One Of These Is Sufficient. To Keep Progressing, We Must Learn, Commit, And Do-learn, Commit, And Do-and Learn, Commit, And Do Again.

Conscience Connects Us With The Wisdom Of The Ages And The Wisdom Of The Heart.

Only 20 Percent Of Employees Working In Large Organizations Surveyed Feel Their Strengths Are In Play Every Day. Thus, Eight Our Of Ten Employees Surveyed Feel Somewhat Miscast In Their Role.

You Can't Talk Your Way Out Of A Problem You Behaved Your Way Into!

Interpersonal Skills

If You Can Hire People Whose Passion Intersects With The Job, They Won't Require Any Supervision At All. They Will Manage Themselves Better Than Anyone Could Ever Manage Them. Their Fire Comes From Within, Not From Without. Their Motivation Is Internal, Not External.

All The Well-meaning Advice In The World Won't Amount To A Hill Of Beans If We're Not Even Addressing The Real Problem.

The Best Way To Develop Courage Is To Set A Goal And Achieve It, Make A Promise And Keep It.

We Are The Creative Force Of Our Life, And Through Our Own Decisions Rather Than Our Conditions, If We Carefully Learn To Do Certain Things, We Can Accomplish Those Goals.

I Believe That There Are Parts To Human Nature That Cannot Be Reached By Either Legislation Or Education, But Require The Power Of God To Deal With.

It Is One Thing To Make A Mistake, And Quite Another Thing Not To Admit It. People Will Forgive Mistakes, Because Mistakes Are Usually Of The Mind, Mistakes Of Judgment. But People Will Not Easily Forgive The Mistakes Of The Heart, The Ill Intention, The Bad Motives, The Prideful Justifying Cover-up Of The First Mistake.

At Some Time In Your Life, You Probably Had Someone Believe In You When You Didn't Believe In Yourself.

Personal Development

Once You Have A Clear Picture Of Your Priorities - That Is Values, Goals, And High Leverage Activities - Organize Around Them.

It's Not Enough To Have Values Without Vision ; You Want To Be Good, But You Want To Be Good For Something. On The Other Hand, Vision Without Values Can Create A Hitler . An Empowering Mission Statement Deals With Both Character And Competence; What You Want To Be And What You Want To Do In Your Life.

To Touch The Soul Of Another Human Being Is To Walk On Holy Ground.

Integrity Is Conforming Reality To Our Words - In Other Words, Keeping Promises And Fulfilling Expectations.

Keeping Promises

The Key To Acting With Integrity Is To Simply Stop Playing The Game.

An Empowered Organization Is One In Which Individuals Have The Knowledge, Skill, Desire, And Opportunity To Personally Succeed In A Way That Leads To Collective Organizational Success.

Communication Is The Most Important Single Activity Of Man.

A Moment Of Choice Is A Moment Of Truth.

Moment Of Truth

We Can't Live Without Eating, But We Don't Live To Eat.

The Process Of Building Trust Is An Interesting One, But It Begins With Yourself, With What I Call Self Trust, And With Your Own Credibility, Your Own Trustworthiness. If You Think About It, It's Hard To Establish Trust With Others If You Can't Trust Yourself.

The Commitments We Make To Ourselves And To Others, And Our Integrity To Those Commitments, Is The Essence And Clearest Manifestation Of Our Proactivity.

Keeping A Personal Journal A Daily In-depth Analysis And Evaluation Of Your Experiences Is A High-leverage Activity That Increases Self-awareness And Enhances All The Endowments And The Synergy Among Them.

The Key To Creating Passion In Your Life Is To Find Your Unique Talents, And Your Special Role And Purpose In The World.

The Main Thing Is To Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.

Love Is A Verb. Love – The Feeling – Is The Fruit Of Love, The Verb. So Love Her. Sacrifice. Listen To Her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm Her.

Many People Think In Terms Of Either/or: Either You're Nice Or You're Tough. Win-win Requires That You Be Both. It Is A Balancing Act Between Courage And Consideration. To Go For Win-win, You Not Only Have To Be Empathic, But You Also Have To Be Confident. You Not Only Have To Be Considerate And Sensitive, You Also Have To Be Brave. To Do That-to Achieve That Balance Between Courage And Consideration-is The Essence Of Real Maturity And Is Fundamental To Win-win.

Effective Interdependence Can Only Be Built On True Independence.

Interdependence

True Independence

But Until A Person Can Say Deeply And Honestly, "i Am What I Am Today Because Of The Choices I Made Yesterday," That Person Cannot Say, "i Choose Otherwise.

I Am Fortunate To Have A Very Helpful Team That Enables Me To Spend Time Doing Things That Are Important But Not Necessarily Urgent. People Who Have No Such Team Need To Also Make These Larger Decisions So That They Can Cheerfully Say No To That Which Is Urgent But Not Important.

Self-mastery And Self-discipline Are The Foundation Of Good Relationships With Others.

Good Relationship

Where You Are Headed Is More Important Than How Fast You Are Going. Rather Than Always Focusing On What's Urgent, Learn To Focus On What Is Really Important.

What Is Important To Another Person Must Be As Important To You As The Other Person Is To You

A Long, Healthy, And Happy Life Is The Result Of Making Contributions, Of Having Meaningful Projects That Are Personally Exciting And Contribute To And Bless The Lives Of Others.

What One Thing Could You Do In Your Personal And Professional Life That, If You Did On A Regular Basis, Would Make A Tremendous Positive Difference In Your Life? Quadrant Ii Activities Have That Kind Of Impact. Our Effectiveness Takes Quantum Leaps When We Do Them.

During The First Few Minutes In Lift-off, The Astronauts Were Strictly Controlled And Were Powerfully Buffeted By The Forces Of Nature Struggling To Keep Them On Earth. This Is Somewhat Comparable To The Pull Of The Flesh When Our Alarm Goes Off Early In The Morning. Unless We Put "mind Over Mattress" And Carry Out The Resolves Made The Night Before, We Will Experience Our First Defeat That Day. Not Sufficient To Finish. Mission Aborted.

If You Want Small Changes In Your Life, Work On Your Attitude. But If You Want Big And Primary Changes, Work On Your Paradigm.

It Takes A Great Deal Of Character Strength To Apologize Quickly Out Of One's Heart Rather Than Out Of Pity. A Person Must Possess Himself And Have A Deep Sense Of Security In Fundamental Principles And Values In Order To Genuinely Apologize.

You May Be Good, But What Are You Good For? You've Got To Be Good For Something. You've Got To Be About Some Project, Some Task That Requires You To Be Humble And Obedient To The Universal Principles Of Service. You've Got To Live A Life Of Complete And Total Integrity In Order To Give This Kind Of Service. This Integrity Enables You To Love Other People Unconditionally, To Be Courageous And Kind At The Same Time, Because You Have Integratedness Inside Your Own Soul.

We Must Seek To Understand The Intent Of Communication Without Prejudging Or Rejecting The Content... Communication, After All, Is Not So Much A Matter Of Intellect As It Is Of Trust And Acceptance Of Others, Of Their Ideas And Feelings, Acceptance Of The Fact That They're Different, And That From Their Point Of View, They Are Right.

When Air Is Charged With Emotions, An Attempt To Teach Is Often Perceived As A Form Of Judgment And Rejection.

What You Do Has Far Greater Impact Than What You Say.

The Only Thing That Endures Over Time Is The 'law Of The Farm.' You Must Prepare The Ground, Plant The Seed, Cultivate, And Water If You Expect To Reap The Harvest.

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