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They Just Expected It To You Know... Paul, Steve And I Could Have Hired Our Own Publicist, If We Wanted To, But I Kind Of Liked The Way It Was More Of A Cult Thing And Those That Liked It, Liked It, You Know What I Mean?

-Amy Sedaris

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They Just Expected It

Amy Sedaris

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They Just Expected It To You Know... Paul, Steve And I Could Have Hired Our Own Publicist, If We Wanted To, But I Kind Of Liked The Way It Was More Of A Cult Thing And Those That Liked It, Liked It, You Know What I Mean?

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They Just Expected It To You Know... Paul, Steve And I Could Have Hired Our Own Publicist, If We Wanted To, But I Kind Of Liked The Way It Was More Of A Cult Thing And Those That Liked It, Liked It, You Know What I Mean?

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Begin Your Story With A Sentence That Will Immediately Grab Hold Of Your Listener's Ears Like A Surly Nun In A Catholic School.

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I've Been To Some Funerals Where There's A Lot Of Laughing - It's About Celebrating Their New Journey. I Can't Think Of Anything. There's Humor In Everything. There's Gotta Be Humor In Everything.

I'm Not Ambitious When It Comes To My Acting Career. I'm Not Breaking Down My Agency's Doors Or Sending Out Headshots. Even When I'm Offered Work, I Always Want Small Parts. When It Comes To Things That Other People Have Written, I Just Don't Know What I'm Doing. I'm Terrible At Memorizing A Script And Reading Lines. I Get Confused And I Don't Understand And It Just Looks Fake To Me. It's More Difficult For Me To Be Creative That Way.

If I Know I Have To Memorize Lines, I'm Really Gonna Try To Memorize Lines. It's Hard For Me Sometimes, Because Somebody Wrote These Words And You're Trying Really Hard To Get Them The Way They Said It.

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I Like To Play Unattractive People Who Think They're Pretty. You Can Do What You Want, But I Prefer To Look Interesting.

I Love Old Cookbooks. I Just Got Such A Kick Out Of Them, How The Color Would Be Way Off Or Fake Looking. The Cook Books Now Look So Much Like Magazines, You'll Never Make Food That Looks Like That. I'd Rather See It The Ugly Way Than They Way They Do It Now.

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I Swear I Want To Be A Food Model.

My Little Brother Paul. He Owns His Own Floor Sanding Business Called Silly P Hardwood Floors And Hes Really Good.

I've Always Been Drawn To People With Problems. Not Just Physical Problems, But Mental Problems Too. Like Depressed People Or Killers, All That Stuff.

When People Tell Me They Are Going To Go Scrapbooking, I Say, 'why Don't You Make It Yourself.' It's Like Chocolate-chip Cookies. People Buy The Cookie-dough Roll And Slice It, And Then They Lay It On A Cookie Sheet. That's Not Making Chocolate-chip Cookies.

Fire Had An Almost Magical Quality That Suggested Anything Was Possible. Early On, Man Even Believed That Fire Was A God That Had To Be Fed With Animal Sacrifices In Order To Burn Brightly. Today We Have Evolved A Long Way From This Ridiculous Notion Of A 'fire God' And Now Rightfully Understand God To Be A Bearded Being Who Lives Amongst The Clouds And Hates Jews And Homosexuals.

I'm Always More Attracted To The Unattractive.

I Think It's Good For A Person To Spend Time Alone. It Gives Them An Opportunity To Discover Who They Are And To Figure Out Why They Are Always Alone.

I Like Crafts That Are Made Out Of Necessity Because They're A Little Naive - You Made It Because You Needed It.

If I Put My Mind To Something, It Happens. I Do Know That's Not Necessarily Psychic. But I Always Feel Like There's Something Around Me Protecting Me.

I Like To Be The One In Charge Of Everything.

I Can't Imagine Going To An All-girls School. I Went To A Public School.

Imagination! My Problem Is That I Have So Many Ideas, I Never Have Enough Time To Use Them All. Just The Other Day I Thought Up Eleven Things I Could Do With A Flowerpot. Eleven! Three Of Those Things Didn't Even Involve Plants.

I Like People Who Would Rather Something Be Discovered Than Shoved In Your Face.

I'm Drawn To Real-life Characters. A Lot Of The Characters I Play, I've Had In Me Since Second Grade. I've Been Dragging Them Around My Entire Life, And Then Sometimes I Marry Them With Different People. But Seldom Have I Really Come Up With A New Character. In My Head It's Like, "i'll Pull That Person Out That I've Been Doing Since Sixth Grade And See Where They're At Right Now.".

I Like It When People Who Aren't So Attractive, Or They Have A Whole Lot Of Hurdles To Get Over, I Like It When They Dress Up And They Look Presentable. That, To Me, Just Touches Me.

If You Decide On Having An Alcoholic At Your Party, Make Sure It's A Large Gathering. This Way, Until The Alcoholic Begins Removing Their Clothes Or Dangling The Cat Out The Window, They Can Sort Of Blend In. An Alcoholic At A Small Gathering Is Called An Intervention.

I Like To Entertain In All Aspects. When You're With Somebody And You're Out, You Want To Be Entertained.

I’ve Named Everything That I’ve Ever Owned. Real Or Inanimate, I Have To Give It A First And Last Name. Everything In My Apartment Comes Alive At Night.

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