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The Chorus Of “jack And Diane” Is: Oh Yeah, Life Goes On, Long After The Thrill Of Living Is Gone. Are You Kidding Me? The Thrill Of Living Was High School? Come On, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get A Life.

-Mindy Kaling

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The Chorus Of “jack

Mindy Kaling

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The Chorus Of “jack And Diane” Is: Oh Yeah, Life Goes On, Long After The Thrill Of Living Is Gone. Are You Kidding Me? The Thrill Of Living Was High School? Come On, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get A Life.

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That's What She Said.

People, You Know, Had Trouble With The Character. Mindy Is Not Immediately Likeable. She Does And Says A Lot Of Things That You Don't See In, Forget Female Characters, Any Characters. Like, She Says Things Like, "i'm Going To Hell Because I Don't Really Care About The Environment And I Love To Gossip."

When I Was A Kid, I Would Always Write Down Lists Of My Favorite Things And Keep Them In My Wallet, Just In Case Someone Ever Needed To Know What My 10 Favorite Foods Were, Or My 10 Favorite Actors.

Hey, A Disclaimer About Me: I’m Rude.

In My Writers' Room, Which Is Mostly Men, I Get A Lot Of Questions Like "what Would Be The Quickest Way To Pass As A Seemingly Normal Guy Between The Ages Of Twenty-five And Forty Years Old?"

I Am Always Surprised At What Movie Studios Think People Will Want To See. I'm Even More Surprised At How Often They Are Correct.

There Has Ceased To Be A Difference Between My Awake Clothes And My Asleep Clothes

I Was Always A Silent Comedy Nerd. I Would Stay Up Late And Sneak Downstairs To Watch 'saturday Night Live' And 'kids In The Hall,' And Things Like That. Very Early On, My Parents Realized That I Was Not Going To Be An Engineer Or A Doctor. I Just Don't Have Those Inclinations, At All.

People Who Are Good At Stand-up, They Sort Of Seem To Have To Do It. Something Within Them Makes Them Have To Go On The Road.

I Think Sometimes People Think Cheerful Is A Synonym For Dumb, So No One Is Ever Cheerful.

There Is This Cliche Of, "oh, Your Professional Life Is Fine, But Your Romantic Life Isn't." But, That's Also Really True Of Me And All My Friends. You Don't Want To Not Do Something That's Relatable Simply Because You're Worried That It Might Be Cliche.

Albums That Remind Me Of My Childhood Happiness Make Me Incredibly Sad Now.

I Work So Hard And So Many Hours, And I've Done That For Years And Years And Years.

What I'd Really Like To Write Is A Romantic Comedy. This Is My Favorite Kind Of Movie. I Feel Almost Embarrassed Revealing This, Because The Genre Has Been So Degraded In The Past Twenty Years That Saying You Like Romantic Comedies Is Essentially An Admission Of Mild Stupidity.

What Mindy Has In Common With A Lot Of Women In Their Mid-30s Is That She's Obsessed With Marriage. It's The Entire Premise Of The 'the Mindy Project'. The Pilot Is Her Wanting To Get Married And Her Ruining Her Ex-boyfriend's Wedding. For Someone Who Fetishizes Marriage So Much, We're Like, "ok, Let's Give It To Her And Let's See If It's As Good As She Thinks It's Going To Be." That's Been The Fun Of The Beginning Part Of This Season Is Showing Her What The Challenges Are Of Being Married.

It Used To Be That You Had To Make Female Tv Characters Perfect So No One Would Be Offended By Your 'portrayal' Of Women. Even When I Started Out On 'the Office' Eight Years Ago, We Could Write Our Male Characters Funny And Flawed, But Not The Women. And Now, Thankfully, It's Completely Different.

Almost Every College Playwright Or Sketch Or Improv Comedian Was Sort Of Aware Of Christopher Durang - Even Kids In High School. His Short Plays Were So Accessible To Younger People And I Think That Was Inspirational To Me.

Gratitude Is The Closest Thing To Beauty Manifested In An Emotion

It's Weird: I Was In A Conference Room, Shouting Out Story Ideas In The Voices Of Different Characters, And It Was Something I Had To Learn Because I'd Never Been In That Atmosphere. But I Think I Had A Quick Learning Curve, Because This Is The Job I Was Supposed To Have.

In Terms Of My Indianness, I Try Not To Rely On It Nor Deny It. When It Comes Up Organically In My Writing, We Can Address It. About Five Years Ago, We Wrote This Episode Of 'the Office,' Called 'diwali,' Which Seemed Like An Organic Way Of Using It.

I Think That It's Insidious To Be Spending More Of Your Time Reflecting And Talking About Panels, And Talking More And More In Smart Ways About Your Otherness, Rather Than Doing The Hard Work Of Your Job.

I Don't Want To Be Skinny. I'm Constantly In A State Of Self-improvement But I Don't Beat Myself Up Over It.

I'm Not Into Red Carpet Looks Where It's Clear The Woman Wanted To Look Like A Pretty, Pretty Princess.

I Have A Personality Defect Where I Refuse To See Myself As An Underdog.

Right Now, I'm Hankering For New Adventures... Ninety Percent Of The Time I'm Having Romantic-comedy Fantasies In Which I'm Wearing Little Pencil Skirts And Hurrying Down To The Subway.

Why Is Everyone Trying To Tell Me That When You Get Older It Gets Better?

Sarah [silverman] Writes Her Own Jokes. She Doesn't Just Go Through Her Life And Talk About Everything. She Sits Down And Crafts Jokes. Sometimes Her Inspiration Comes From Areas Of Her Life That Are Risqué. But She Is An A-plus Professional Joke-writer In Addition To Being Very Attractive And A Great Performer.

Because Confidence Is Like Respect; You Have To Earn It.

I Feel Like If I Had My Personality But Was An Ob/gyn, You Would Be Psyched. You'd Be Like, 'my Chatty, Pop-culture-interested But Plainspoken, Wants-to-talk-about-clothes But Serious-minded Doctor.' I Feel Like I Would Clean Up With Patients. That's Kind Of A Cocky Thing To Say.

I’ve Worked In Television For 10 Years Straight. If I Were A Man, It Wouldn’t Be Considered Strange [to Have Confidence] At All.

More Than Half The Questions I Am Asked Are About The Politics Of The Way I Look

I Notice That A Little Bit At The Office, With, Like, An Actor: If I Decided There'd Be A Certain Way In The Script, It Would Still Seem Open-ended, Whereas ... If I Was A Man I Would Not Have Seen That.

People Don't Want To Listen To A Celebrity Tweeting About Their Charities And Shows. That's Why Comedy Writers Do Well - We Put Out Little Funny Ideas.

I Am A Super-confident Writer, And As A Joke Writer And As An Actress, I'm Like, 'i Want To Go Head-to-head With Every Person.' I Am An Indian Woman And I'm A Kind Of Double Minority In This World.

As I've Gotten Older, I Can Look At Myself More Clearly And Own The Things That I'm Good At And Work On The Things That I'm Not. Like, I Am Not Skinny. I Know That If I Were To Lose A Little Weight I'd Literally Have More Time In The Morning Because I Know Clothes Would Fit Better. And Now I Can Look At Those Things More Practically. Instead Of Being Like, "what Does That Say About Me?," Now I'm Just Like, "that Would Be Great To Sleep In An Extra Fifteen Minutes Because I Wasn't Trying On Everything In My Closet."

You Should Know I Disagree With A Lot Of Traditional Advice. For Instance, They Say The Best Revenge Is Living Well. I Say It’s Acid In The Face—who Will Love Them Now?

In High School, I Had Fun In My Academic Clubs, Watching Movies With My Girlfriends, Learning Latin, Having Long, Protracted, Unrequited Crushes On Older Guys Who Didn’t Know Me, And Yes, Hanging Out With My Family. I Liked Hanging Out With My Family! Later, When You’re Grown Up, You Realize You Never Get To Hang Out With Your Family. You Pretty Much Have Only Eighteen Years To Spend With Them Full Time, And That’s It.

I Just Want Ambitious Teenagers To Know It Is Totally Fine To Be Quite, Observant Kids. Besides Being A Delight To Your Parents, You Will Find You Have Plenty Of Time Later To Catch Up.

To Put It Kindly, I Am A Very Talkative, Social Person. To Put It Less Kindly, I’m A Flibbertigibbet, Which Is What My Frenemy Rainn Wilson Calls Me.

Listen, My Body Is Attracted To Your Body But When You Speak It Makes My Brain Angry.

There Is Some Pressure When You Are A Woman Doing What I Do That You Must Support All Other Women Unconditionally, No Matter What They're Projecting, Or Writing, Or Producing, Or Putting Forth As Their Art. I Think That's Equally Arbitrary And Random And Unfair, And Kind Of Sexist. The Secretly Sexist Way. I Have Really High Standards For What I Think Is Funny. I Have That For Everything, And I Think It Would Be Disingenuous Of Me To Blanket-ly Love Everything A Woman Has Produced Simply To Make A Statement That We're All In This Together.

I Have Never Regretted Erring On The Side Of Withholding Information.

I Had These Kind Of Unrealistic Expectations That Were Fueled By Romantic Comedies, And It Has Both Helped Me And Hurt Me In Many Ways. It Helped Me Because, In General, They've Made Me Hopeful. I Just Figure Things Will Eventually Work Out For Me. But Nobody Is Like Any Tom Hanks Character. Nobody Is Hugh Grant. No One Is Meg Ryan!

I Don't Have Very Much Time To Surf The Net, Because It's As Though My Boss Has A Tracking Device On Me. The Instant I'm Looking At A Chloe Sweater On Shopbop, I'll Get A Call In My Office With A Pa Asking: "paul Wants To Know Where You Are And Why You're Not In The Writers Room, And If Maybe You're Online Shopping."

I’m The One Who Looks At The Infant, Smiles Nervously, And As My Contribution To Small Talk, Robotically Announces To The Parent, “your Child Looks Healthy And Well Cared For.

I Don't Ever Remember Being Able To Debate With My Parents. Even Though I Thought Of Myself As A Very Bright Kid, I Couldn't Be Vocal In That Way.

People Talk About Mumblecore But I Prefer Bumblecore, Hyper-realistic Bee Movies About How Bees Really Are.

I Feel Like I'm In The Right Profession.

When I Was Twenty-five, I Went On Exactly Four Dates With A Much Older Guy Whom I'll Call Peter Parker. I'm Calling Him Peter Parker Because The Actual Guy's Name Was Also Alliterative, And Because, Well, It's My Book And I'll Name A Guy I Dated After Spider-man's Alter Ego If I Want To.

Of Course, Everyone Wants To Be Mythologized In A Great Way.

I Think References, Where They Fit Organically, Are Great. It's Great To Do A Show That's Real And Relatable, And So Much Of What Is Real, Is Using Real Things And Instances That Are Specific. Specificity Is The Best Tool You Can Have, As A Writer.

What? I Have A Cold. Don’t Get A Look Of Terror On Your Face. The Worst That Could Happen Is That You’ll Get A Cold, Too. You Don’t Have To Theatrically Purell A Thousand Times A Day And Look All Panicky Every Time I Come Into The Room.

I'm A Smart Enough Person To Know That I Don't Want Everyone To Be Cookie-cutter Versions Of The Nine Guys Who Wear Converse Sneakers.

I Feel The Same Way About Clothes As I Do About Food. I Want Everything.

As My Mom Has Said, When One Person Is Unhappy, It Usually Means Two People Are Unhappy But That One Has Not Come To Terms With It Yet.

In Psychology (okay, Twilight) They Teach You About The Notion Of Imprinting, And I Think It Applies Here. I Reverse-imprinted With Athleticism. Ours Is The Great Non-love Story Of My Life.

I Have A Great Job Writing For “the Office,” But, Really, All Television Writers Do Is Dream Of One Day Writing Movies. I’ll Put It This Way: At The Oscars The Most Famous Person In The Room Is, Like, Angelina Jolie. At The Emmys The Huge Exciting Celebrity Is Bethenny Frankel. You Get What I Mean.

There Is A Lot Of Catarsis That Passes Itself Off As Art Or Comedy And I'm Kind Of Critical Of That. I Think That Just Because You Bare Your Soul Or Underwear Or Private Moments It Doesn't , Or Necessarily Make For Entertainment, Or Good Writing, Or Funny Writing.

People Ask Me All The Time How I Got Hired Onto The Office. Another Common Question Is How Do I Manage To Stay So Down-to-earth In The Face Of Such Incredible Success? ... A Third Frequently Asked Question Is: "girl, Where You From? Trinidad? Guyana? Dominican Republic? You Married? You Got Kids?" This Is Mostly Asked By Guys On The Sidewalk Selling I Love New York Paraphernalia In New York City.

I Stupidly Memorize My Credit Card And Use It About Thrice Weekly For Online Shopping. The Only Reason I Don't Bankrupt Myself Is That I Return About 75% Of What I Buy.

I Don't Consider Myself A Fashion Person, I Consider Myself A Shopping Person. As A Person Who Has Girlie Interests And A Little Bit Of Disposable Income.

Sometimes I Aid Into The Confusion By Having My Character's Name Be My Name.

Sometimes I Eavesdrop On People. I Could Rationalize It - Oh, This Is Good Anthropological Research For Characters I'm Writing - But It's Basically Just Nosiness. It Also Helps Me Gauge Where I'm At: Am I Normal?

I Hated L.a. For A Long Time, And I Wanted To Leave It. I Had These Fantasies Of Going To 'snl' And Falling In Love With Some Writer On 'snl,' Of Getting Married And Living In New York.

Falling In Love

Once I Saw Paris Hilton Leaving A Restaurant In Hollywood And The Paparazzi Cameras Were All Over Her. It Looked So Unpleasant. It Wasn't Because She Didn't Look Sensational - She Was That Perfect Combination Of Fashionable And Slutty - It Was Because The Paparazzi Guys Were Shouting These Insanely Rude And Intrusive Questions At Her. Like, Asking Her Who She Was Sleeping With And Stuff. I Was Kind Of Interested In The Answer, So I Was Glad They Asked, But It Was Still Gross.

I Guess When You Go To Business School You Never Turn Business Off.

Business School

Another Old Saying Is That Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold. But It Feels Best Served Piping Hot, Straight Out Of The Oven Of Outrage. My Opinion? Take Care Of Revenge Right Away.

The Overlap In The Venn Diagram Of Things That Men Hate For Women To Wear And The Things That I Love To Wear, It's Almost A Full Overlap On The Venn Diagram, Which Is Unfortunate For Me.

If I Could Make A Device Where People Could Just Intuit Everything You Are Thinking - A Little Cable You Plug Into, Like, A Usb Port, I Would Make A Billion Dollars.

True Love Is Singing Karaoke 'under Pressure' And Letting The Other Person Sing The Freddie Mercury Part.

Every Actor Pretends That They Hate Sex Scenes, And The Truth Is That They All Love Them, And They're Lying.

Comedy Writers Have The Most Fragile Egos.

There Are Little Indian Girls Out There Who Look Up To Me, And I Never Want To Belittle The Honor Of Being An Inspiration To Them. But While I’m Talking About Why I’m So Different, White Male Show Runners Get To Talk About Their Art.

You Should Never Have To Say Hello Or Goodbye. Even At Work Sometimes, And I Know This Is Very Unpopular, Is That If I'm Going To Work Every Single Day, I Don't Think You Should Have To Hug People Hello Every Single Day When You Come To Work. I Saw You Monday!

My Version Of An Irish Exit Has An Air Of Deception To It, Because It Includes My Asking Loudly, “where’s The Bathroom?” And Making Theatrical Looking-around Gestures Like A Lost Foreign Tourist. But Then, Instead Of Finding The Bathroom, I Sneakily Grab My Coat And Leave.

Is This A Generation Of Orphans Who Are Going To The Improv To Do Stand-up?

Writing A Book Is The Most Terrifying Thing That I've Ever Done. It's So Much Harder Than Writing For Television Because It Is A Completely Different Skill Set.

I Find It Very Sad That So Many Girls Who Look Up To Me Are Young Women Of Color Who Have Been Told That They Are Ugly, And Who Feel That They Are Not Normal...i Think It's So Important That Women Look Like Me Find That They Can Be Beautiful Or Objects Of Love, Attention And Affection.

I Sort Of Refuse To Be An Outsider, Even Though I Know That I Very Much Look Like One To A Lot Of People, And I Refuse To View Myself In Such Terms.

I Feel Lucky Because I Was A Nerd, Which I Talk About In The Book, But I Had Academic Success, So Through That, Because That's What My Parents Put A Great Deal Of Value On, I Had A Great Childhood Because I Sort Of Fulfilled The Expectations Of Being Good At School.

Nothing Gives You Confidence Like Being A Member Of A Small, Weirdly Specific, Hard-to-find Demographic.

All I Want To Do Is Be A Gay Icon. I Was Reading Lady Gaga's Twitter, Because She Has Like 12 Million Followers, Or Something Like That. I Feel Like She Has Fans, Gay, Straight, Bi, Who Would Throw Themselves Off A Building For Her.

There Are Many Teenage Vampire Books You Could Have Purchased Instead. I'm Grateful You Made This Choice.

So I’m Into Men Now, Even Though They Can Be Frightening. I Want A Schedule-keeping, Waking-up-early, Wallet-carrying, Non-velcro-shoe-wearing Man.

If You're A Kid Who Was Not Especially A Star In Your High School, I Recommend Going To A College In The Middle Of Nowhere. I Got All The Attention I Could Ever Have Wanted.

Bribes And Boy Bands. That’s All You Need To Be A Babysitter.

Anyone Who's Lost Someone To Cancer Will Say This, That You Have To Struggle To Try To Remember The Person Before The Diagnosis Happened, Because They Really Do Change - As Anyone Would Change.

I Don't Need Marriage. I Don't Need Anyone To Take Care Of All My Needs And Desires. I Can Take Care Of Them Myself Now.

There’s A Whole List Of Things I Would Probably Change About Myself. For Example, I’m Always Trying To Lose Fifteen Pounds. But I Never Need To Be Skinny. I Don’t Want To Be Skinny. I’m Constantly In A State Of Self-improvement But I Don’t Beat Myself Up Over It.

A Remarkable Thing About Me Is That The Time That Elapses Between A Sad Thought And A Flood Of Tears Is Three Or Four Seconds.

..i Find It Incredible Impossible Not To Cry When I Hear Stevie Nicks's "landslide," Especially The Lyric: "i've Been Afraid Of Changing, Because I've Built My Life Around You." I Think A Good Test To See If A Human Is Actually A Robot/android/cylon Is To Have Them Listen To This Song Lyric And Study Their Reaction. If They Don't Cry, You Should Stab Them Through The Heart. You Will Find A Fusebox.

I'm Not Overweight. I Flucuate Between Chubby And Curvy.

That's My Advice To People. You Can't Get Hung Up On Thinking, "am I The Victim In This Situation?" No, I'm In Charge Of It.

I Would Love If Gay Men Responded To Me. All I Want Is For Many Gay Men To Dress Up As Me For Halloween.

I'm Not Married, I Frequently Use My Debit Card To Buy Things That Cost Less Than Three Dollars, And My Bedroom Is So Untidy It Looks Like Vandals Ransacked The Anthropologie Sale Section. I'm Kind Of A Mess.

I Initially Thought You Were Ugly, But Then You Walked Closer To Me And I Realized You Were Pretty.

I Think I've Always Wanted To Be A Role Model, And I Think ... Everyone Should Try To Live Their Life Like They'd Like To Be A Role Model. I Think It's Like The Thing Keeping Me Out Of Jail.

All Women Love Colin Firth: Mr. Darcy, Mark Darcy, George Vi—at This Point He Could Play The Craigslist Killer And People Would Be Like, 'oh My God, The Craigslist Killer Has The Most Boyish Smile!

As A Kid It's Adorable To Have A Gap In Your Teeth. But Then, Because Of The Shifting In My Mouth, I Started Whistling Through It, And As A 32-year-old Woman, Whistling While You Speak In Sort Of Annoying.

The Tweets That I Have Written That Are Most Popular Are The Ones That Are The Kind Of Universal Girly Concerns And Observations.

I Have The Right To Life, Liberty And Chicken Wings.

Declaration Of Independence

There Are Time When Friends Have Said They Hooked Up With Someone And All It Means Is That They Had A Highly Anticipated Kissing Session. Other Times It's A Full-on All-night Sex-a-thon. Can't We Have A Universal Understanding Of The Term, Once And For All? From Now On, Let's All Agree That Hooking Up = Sex. Everything Else Is 'made Out.' And If You're Older Than Twenty-eight, Then Just Kissing Someone Doesn't Count For Crap And Is Not Even Worth Mentioning. Unless You're Mormon, In Which Case You're Going To Hell.

I'm An Actor And A Writer And A Showrunner And I Edit My Show. ... I Have A Job That Three People Usually Have, And I Have It In One Person. And The Idea That The Critic Thought That I Had This Excess Of Time For Which I Could Go To, Like, Panels Or Write Essays Was Just So Laughable To Me.

I Think As Humans, No One Remembers Their Successes, Everyone Just Remembers Their Failures.

I Was Obsessed With Being Popular When I Was In High School And Never Achieved It. There's Photos From Our High School Musicals And Things, And I'm Comically In The Deep Background, Wearing A Beggar's Costume.

I've Always Had That Chip On My Shoulder. I've Just Always Been Super Hard On Myself.

I'm Actually An Impatient Person. I'm Very Suited For Television Because With The Process, It's Six Weeks From The Time You Come Up With An Episode Until When It Airs. We Can't Drag It Out That Long. With Film, And This Is Not A Profound Observation Or An Original One; It Can Go On Endlessly Unless The Movie's Like Incredibly Topical. That's The Challenge For Me, As An Impatient Person Who Wants See Things Come To Life. ... I Mean, It's Just This Feeling I Get When I See A Movie I Love.

My Understanding Of The Way Sex Scenes Work Is That You're Surrounded By Crew, And You're Cold, And You Have To Do It Eight Times 'cause They Didn't Get The Lighting. It Doesn't Sound Pleasant, But You Think That Actors Actually Enjoy It?

I Want A Schedule-keeping, Waking-up-early, Wallet-carrying, Picture-hanging Man. I Don't Care If He Takes Prescription Drugs For Cholesterol Or Hair Loss.

I’m Adorable. I Look Like Keira Knightley Running Errands!

Running Is A Quick Trigger For A Good Mood. The Great Thing About Endorphins, You Don't Have To Be In Great Shape To Get Them.

The Funniest Racism Is The Racism Between Minorities. It's Something You Don't See Dramatized, But Almost Every Minority I Know Who's My Age, They Have These Funny Stories About Their Parents Stereotyping Other Minorities.

I Don't Want To Hear About The Endless Struggles To Keep Sex Exciting, Or The Work It Takes To Plan A Date Night. I Want To Hear That You Guys Watch Every Episode Of The Bachelorette Together In Secret Shame, Or That One Got The Other Hooked On Breaking Bad And If Either Watches It Without The Other, They're Dead Meat. I Want To See You Guys High-five Each Other Like Teammates On A Recreational Softball Team You Both Do For Fun.

When Men Hear Women Want A Commitment, They Think It Means Commitment To A Romantic Relationship, But That's Not It. It's A Commitment To Not Floating Around Anymore. I Want A Guy Who Is Entrenched In His Own Life. Entrenched Is Awesome.

I Write A Little Bit About What It's Like To Be A Female Boss In My Book [ Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?] And The Things I've Noticed About That, But By And Large, It's Just A Tough Job In General.

I Have A Personality Defect Where I Sort Of Refuse To See Myself As An Underdog... It's Because Of My Parents. They Raised Me With The Entitlement Of A Tall, Blond, White Man.

My Dad Is Funny In His Own Way, And So Is My Brother, But In Terms Of Legitimately Making A Lot Of People Laugh, That's My Mom. I Inherit My Sense Of Comedy From Her.

I Would Rather Have Someone Read My Diary Than Look At My Ipod Playlists.

I'm Someone Who Loves Romance. I Always Have Loved It. Most People Who Grew Up As Nerds, As I Was, Surprisingly, Have Loved Romance.

Something That's Happened Recently Is That I Don't Beat Myself Up About Stuff.

If It Weren't For My Imagination, I Would Weigh Ten Thousand Pounds. This Is Because The Only Way I Am Able To Exercise Anymore Is Through A Long And Vivid Revenge Fantasy.

I Was Just This Chubby Little Indian Kid Who Looked Like A Nerd. I Didn't Have A Ton Of Academic Skills. It Wasn't Until I Was In High School That I Was Like, "i Guess I Like Writing Dialogue." So That's How I Got Into It.

In Real Life, Shouldn't A Wedding Be An Awesome Party You Throw With Your Great Pal, In The Presence Of A Bunch Of Your Other Friends? A Great Day, For Sure, But Not The Beginning And Certainly Not The End Of Your Friendship With A Person You Can't Wait To Talk About Gardening With The For The Next Forty Years.

In My Mind, The Sexiest Thing In The World Is The Feeling That You’re Wanted.

There Are Little Indian Girls Out There Who Look Up To Me, And I Never Want To Belittle The Honor Of Being An Inspiration To Them. But While I’m Talking About Why I’m So Different, White Male Show Runners Get To Talk About Their Art. I Always Get Asked, ‘where Do You Get Your Confidence?’ I Think People Are Well Meaning, But It’s Pretty Insulting. Because What It Means To Me Is, ‘you, Mindy Kaling, Have All The Trappings Of A Very Marginalized Person. You’re Not Skinny, You’re Not White, You’re A Woman. Why On Earth Would You Feel Like You’re Worth Anything?’

I Really Think Guys Only Need Two Pairs Of Shoes. A Nice Pair Of Black Shoes And A Pair Of Chuck Taylors.

When I've Acted, And It's Not Been Something I've Written Or Have Had At Least A Hand In Writing, I Do Think There Is A Controlling Side Of Me That Is Frustrated By That. And I Actually Don't Think That It's A Bad Thing, Because If I'm Going To Be In Movies, In Large Part They're Going To Be Movies That I Write.

I Used To Forget That I Was An Indian Woman. I Would Even Forget That I Was A Woman. I Don't Think Of Myself As Bringing To The Table A Lot Of 'women's Issues.' I Don't Feel The Need To Write About Maternity. I Grew Up Thinking That The Talented People In Comedy Were Hard-joke Writers.

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Smartly Raised Us To Keep Quiet, Be Respectful To Older People, And Generally Not Question Adults All That Much. I Think That's Because They Were Assuming That 99 Percent Of The Time, We'd Be Interacting With Worthy, Smart Adults... They Didn't Ever Tell Me 'sometimes You Will Meet Idiots Who Are Technically Adults And Authority Figures. You Don't Have To Do What They Say.

I Think As Women, You Know, If You Are Considered A Pioneer In These Things, You Can Get Really Distracted By These Other Things - You Know, People's Demands Of You Reflecting On Your Otherness. And For This White Critic To Say, "i Don't Understand Why She Doesn't Do That" - And You're Like, "it's Because I'm Running A Show On A Major Network And I Want The Show To Continue" - And To Sort Of Guilt Me.

When I Have Time To Sit And Reflect On The Different Situations That I Face Every Day, I'll Be Able To Speak More Succinctly About The Challenges As A Woman.

I Love That 'much Ado About Nothing,' Passionate, Smart Fighting. I Love Fighting With Guys, And That's Something That I Don't Get To See: Arguing At A High Level With A Member Of The Opposite Sex. That Didn't Really Happen That Much On 'the Office.' I Just Like That 'moonlighting,' Benedick-beatrice Type Of Thing.

My Whole Childhood Was Like: Work Hard, Be Quiet, Respect Elderly People, Respect Your Parents, And Just Be Unobtrusive.

I'm Giving A Lot Of Opinions, But I Don't Give Any Advice. I'm 31 And I'm Not Married And Having Kids. I'm Five-foot-three. I Weigh, Like, 150 Pounds And I'm Not In This Position To Be Telling People How To Live.

I Love Telling Press The Designers I'm Wearing, Especially If They Are Emerging. That's Exciting To Me, Supporting Talented Newcomers.

In Junior High, There Were A Lot Of Really Ugly Guys Who Were Popular Because They Made People Laugh. I Was Like, "wow, Comedy Is The Great Freer Of Hideous People." It Was An Incredibly Liberating Thing. If You Ask A Girl, "what Do You Want In A Guy?" 99 Percent Are Like, "i Just Want Him To Be Funny." I Thought, "if That Applies To Women, I'm Set.

I Think A Lot Of People Compare Female Writers Or Female Comedians To Each Other In A Way That Men Are Not. Male Comedy Writers Are Not Scrutinized.

I Worship Makeup. The Basics Are Always: Stila Shadows, Leclerc Powder For My Crazy Shiny Skin, Bobbie Brown Liner Pot, Chanel Mascara, And Koh Gen Do For Foundation, Nars For Colors And Sparkles.

I'm Indian-american And I Think That When I Think Of Myself As Being Culturally Indian, It Had So Much To Do With When I Lived With My Parents And Was A Kid Because They Would Take Me To The Diwali Festivals. They Would Take Me To The Temple, And They Would Teach Me About All The Different Holidays.

This Is Extremely Challenging When You Sound Like A 12-year-old Girl, And You Decide Your First Personal Endeavor Is To Play, Like, A - Like, A Very Macho Dude.

I've Been Working In Television For So Long, Since 2004, And I Just Worked Nonstop Throughout That Time And I've Learned So Much. I've Definitely Done That 10,000 Hours. I Know The Format Really Well And I Feel Comfortable In It. I'm Excited About Going Into Something I'm Not So Comfortable In, Which Is Film.

I Guess Nothing Puts A Damper On A One-night Stand As Much As Your Friend Pointing Out All The Opportunities Where You Might Have Been Killed.

As A Kid, I Always Loved Serialized Books. It’s The Reason Why People Love Harry Potter. Serialization Is Amazing. It Works In Television. It Works In Film And It Works In Books. Especially When You’re A Young Kid, You Get Attached To These Characters.

I Don't Think Anyone Wants To Grow Up To Be Mindy Lahiri, The Same Way No One Wants To Grow Up To Be Michael Scott.but That's Ok.

That’s The One Nice Thing About Being A Dork About Men: You Can Sometimes Play It Off As Restrained And Classy.

My Relationship With My Mom Is Really The Single Most Profound Relationship That I've Ever Had In My Life.

I Know A Lot Of People Think Of Me And They Like, Oh That Girl Is Really Sexy, That Girl Is Really Put Together, She Would Never Do Something As Unladylike As A Beet Eating Competition.

One Friend With Whom You Have A Lot In Common Is Better Than Three With Whom You Struggle To Find Things To Talk About.

Looking Back Six Years Ago When I Had Just Come From 'the Office' To 'the Mindy Project' And What I Was Trying To Say Back Then. I Feel Like We Don't Revisit Our Younger Idealistic Selves, You Just Get In This Pattern Of Churning These Episodes Out. Now I Was Like, "let's Try And Get In My Mind Back Then," Because My Life Personally Has Changed So Much, Too. I Just Thought, "what Was I Trying To Say? And Now Can I Make It Look Like It Was All Part Of One Larger Story."

I Try Not To Put Anything Political On The Forefront Of What I'm Trying To Do Creatively. At The Same Time, I Do Think It's Wonderful When I Hear People Say That It's Inspirational That I'm An Indian Woman On Camera. My Life Is Very Diverse, And My Friends Are A Diverse Group Of People.

I'm The Kind Of Person Who Would Rather Get My Hopes Up Really High And Watch Them Get Dashed To Pieces Than Wisely Keep My Expectations At Bay And Hope They Are Exceeded. This Quality Has Made Me A Needy And Theatrical Friend, But Has Given Me A Spectacularly Dramatic Emotional Life.

I'd Rather Be Like Odysseus Than Someone Who Was Handed Everything.

I've Always Assumed That My Parents And My In-laws Would Live With Me When I Get Older And Have Children. I Just Assume It Will Happen And That It's The Right Way To Do Things. It's A Deeply Indian Custom - That You Kind Of Inherit Your Parents And Your Spouse's Parents And You Take Care Of Them Eventually.

There Are So Many Distractions You Can Face As A Woman, Either With Relationships Or Worrying About, Should I Go To This Party? Or, Should I Be Doing This To Help Me Get Ahead? All [success] Is, Is Doing Your Work And Staying Focused. It's Boring Advice, But Boring Good Advice Is What You Can Get From Me!

Not To Be Weird, But I Still Have An Ongoing Relationship With My Mom, Even Though She Passed Away, And I've Been Surprised At How Much I've Been Able To Convey To Her. Now I Sound Like A Total Weirdo, But That's True.

Haley And I Would Talk For Hours About Which Member Of 'n Sync We'd Want To Marry. After Long Deliberation, The Answer Was Always J. C. Chasez. Joey Fatone's Last Name Was Going To Be “fat One” No Matter How Great He Was, And Even Though They Didn't Know At Their Age That Lance Bass Was Gay Outright, They Sensed He'd Make A Better Good Friend And Confidante. As For Justin Timberlake, Well, Jt Was The Coolest And Hottest, But Too Flashy, So We Couldn't Trust Him To Be Faithful. J. C. Chasez Was The Smart Compromise.

Besides, Who Wants To Read About Success, Anyway? Successful Serial Murderers, Maybe.

Skinny Foodie, Get Away From Me.

I'm An A Student. I'm Addicted To Feedback, And I Want To Please People. That's Sort Of How I've Gotten To Where I Am.

There Is No Sunrise So Beautiful That It Is Worth Waking Me Up To See It.

Also, Chubby People Can Never Truly Pull Off Ethereal The Same Way Skinny People Can Never Be Jolly.

I Hate Gowns. It's A Rare Gown Indeed That Is Cool. Most Are Elegant Or Whatever, A Quality I Don't Put A Big Premium On.

I, Like Most Women, I Dress For Other Women, I Think. If I Was Going To Dress For Men, I Think In General I Would Be Just Wearing, Like, A Fitted Black T-shirt And Tight Jeans Every Day.

Always Wear Flats And Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-step How-to Guide For Avoiding Getting Murdered

I Was Kind Of Unfriendly And Suspicious Of Everyone Around Me. I Didn't Talk Until I Was About 15. It's A Kind Of Famous Story At My House.

I Have A Whole System Down For Returning Online Shopping: A Tape Gun, A Printer For Return Labels. That Has Replaced Traditional Window Shopping In My Life, As I've Gotten Busier.

Window Shopping

I Just Have My Characters Say My Controversial Opinions And Then Hide Behind Them.

If I Gave My Mother A Knitted Scarf She'd Be Worried I Was Wasting My Time Doing Stupid Stuff Like Knitting Instead Of School Work. Presenting A Homemade Knitted Object To My Parents Was Actually Like Handing Them A Detailed Backlog Of My Idleness.

I Have Such A Rich Fantasy Life, I Can't Help It. I Do Make Up A Lot Of Romantic Stories In My Head.

I'm Not Good At Anything Except Writing Jokes. I Wasn't Good At Sports, I Wasn't Good At Anything Artsy, Ever. I Think There Was A Real Worry For A While About What I Would Be Good At. I Was Just This Chubby Little Indian Kid Who Looked Like A Nerd.

He Was So Popular You Could Barely Look At Him Without Being Blinded By Cool.

Write Your Own Part. It Is The Only Way I've Gotten Anywhere. It Is Much Harder Work, But Sometimes You Have To Take Destiny Into Your Own Hands.

It'd Be Great To Be So Famous That If I Murder Someone, I Will Never, Ever, Ever Serve Any Jail Time, Even If It's Totally Obvious To Everyone That I Did It.

Maybe The Point Is That Any Marriage Is Work, But You May As Well Pick Work That You Like.

I Have An Underdog Spirit In Me, And Now It Feels Weird To Kind Of Get My Own Way More Often Than Not.

I Have A Thick Skin, Which Comes From Being A Not-really-skinny, Dark-skinned Indian Woman. I Haven’t Fit In Every Place, And So I’m Kind Of Used To Resistance.

I Have Crushes On Celebrities Or People I Meet Or See In The Coffee Shop, And Every Day I Fall In Love With Three People Simply Because They Said One Funny Thing Or Appeared To Me In A Certain Way.

Falling In Love

For Heaven’s Sake, If You Don’t Know Someone’s Name, Just Pretend You Do. Do That Thing Everyone Else Does, Where You Vaguely Say, “nice To See You!” And Make Weak Eye Contact.

Catharsis Isn't Art. You Can't Rely On Catharsis To Get A Laugh. Because Guess What? People Do Laugh When Something's Shocking, But That Is, To Me, The Absolute Fakest Of Laughs. That's Not Something That Sustains A Television Series, Or A Movie, Or Even 45 Minutes Of A Stand-up Set At Carolines.

Don't Fall Into The Trap Of Thinking About Politics In Your Workplace Too Much. Just Work Hard, Be Cheerful, Ignore Distractions.

Whenever I Wanted To Talk To Anyone On The East Coast, It Was Way Too Late. Living Three Hours Behind Was One Thing I Complained About. The Other Thing, Of Course, Was Just That There Were No Seasons. I Would Complain About That Too. Just Tons Of Complaining, Man, Early On. I Can't Believe I'm Still Friends With The People I Was Friends With When I First Started In La.

Everyone Should Try To Live Their Life Like They'd Like To Be A Role Model.

I Had To Learn A Skill Set. I Think I Had The Materials To Be A Good Comedy Writer.

I Have A Goofy Side That Impacts My Clothing A Lot. To That End, I Love Witty, Colorful, Prints.

It Doesn't Help For You To Name A Character's First Name Be Mindy And Then Be Like, "i'm Nothing Like The Character."

Later, When You're Grown Up, You Realize You Never Really Get To Hang Out With Your Family. You Pretty Much Have Only Eighteen Years To Spend With Them Full Time, And That's It.

Truthfully, I Guess I Would Like To Be Remembered As A Great Writer And A Kind Person. I Wouldn't Mind If An Expensive Bag Were Named After Me, Like Jane Birkin.

Those Who Are Saying It's Possible [to Balance Family And Business] Are Often In A Little Bit Of A Rarefied Place Where They Also Have The Money To Do That. It's Not Quite Such An Easy Stance To Take When You Don't Have The Same Resources. I Like To Remind People That These Are Rich Manhattanites And To Keep An Eye On The Fact That, Especially With Social Media And These Articles And These Blogs, That That Is Not The Reality For Most Women, Unfortunately.

I Love Women Who Are Bosses And Who Don't Constantly Worry About What Their Employees Think Of Them. I Love Women Who Don't Ask, "is That Ok?" After Everything They Say. I Love When Women Are Courageous In The Face Of Unthinkable Circumstances, Like My Mother When She Was Diagnosed With Stage Iv Pancreatic Cancer. Or Like Gabrielle Giffords Writing Editorials For The New York Times About The Cowardice Of Congress Regarding Gun Laws And Using Phrases Like "mark My Words" Like She Is Clint Eastwood. How Many Women Say Stuff Like That?

When I Was Growing Up, I Didn't Do Plays In Downtown Boston, And My Parents Weren't Putting Me In Auditions. They Never Thought, Oh, She Has A Gift! They Never Thought Of Me As An Entertainer When I Was A Young Kid.

Growing Up, I Remember My Parents Feeling A Little Wary Of 'the Simpsons.' This Was The Late Eighties, And There Was A Wave Of Articles About Tv Shows That Were Bad For America. Then We All Started Watching It And Loved It.

Elizabeth Kennedy Is So Chic. Her Gowns Have Such Structure, I Feel Like A Work Of Art.

There Wasn't A Big Tradition Of Comedy At Dartmouth. More Than That, There Wasn't Really Anything Artsy Going On In Hanover, Or Even In New Hampshire. The Cool Thing About The School Is That There's Nothing For People To Watch, So If You Were To Do A Play Or A Sketch Or An Improv Troupe, It Was Always Packed. There's Nowhere Else For Anyone To Go. But There Was No Comedy.

To Have A Complete Outfit Designed, For Me, Is Easier Than Trying To Find Pieces That Work Together.

Working Together

Directing Is Exhausting, But Not For The Actual Directing Part, When You Say "action!" And Give Creative Notes. As A Director, The Exhausting Part Is That You Are A Professional Answer-machine.

Live Performance Really Terrifies Me. I Haven't Done It, Really, In Years. I Think That's Why I Retired From My Brief Career In Stand-up.

My Parents Were Supportive Of My Creativity But Did Not Have A Lot Of Patience For Whimsy With Zero Production Value. They Had Stuff To Do.

It Makes Me Cry Because It Means That Fewer And Fewer People Are Believing It's Cool To Want What I Want, Which Is To Be Married And Have Kids And Love Each Other In A Monogamous, Long-lasting Relationship.

I Cringe A Lot When I Look At My Early Talk-show Experiences.

Colored Leather Is My Favorite. To Me, There's Nothing More Fun Than Wearing A Cobalt Blue Leather Skirt Or A Fuchsia Leather Jacket.

Leather Jackets

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