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Something As Important As Marriage Equality, Which Is Now A Constitutional Right [in The Usa], Is Something That Cannot Be Denied. It's Also Very Un-christian, If You Think About The Way Christ Was And Christ's Teachings. This Is Not Loving. This Is Anger. This Is Hatred. This Is Bigotry. And It's Wrong.

-Margaret Cho

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Something As Important As

Margaret Cho

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Something As Important As Marriage Equality, Which Is Now A Constitutional Right [in The Usa], Is Something That Cannot Be Denied. It's Also Very Un-christian, If You Think About The Way Christ Was And Christ's Teachings. This Is Not Loving. This Is Anger. This Is Hatred. This Is Bigotry. And It's Wrong.

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Politics Has Less To Do With Where You Live Than Where Your Heart Is.

It's Okay For You To Have Relationships, But It's Not Okay To Talk About Them. It's Not Okay To Be Out Or To Be Public About It. It's Not Okay To Be Photographed With Your Partner.

Sometimes When We Are Generous In Small, Barely Detectable Ways It Can Change Someone Else's Life Forever.

People Like Sean Penn, He Is Someone That Is Politically Progressive And Yet Is Still At The Top Of His Game In The Industry. So I Love That He Is Out There Just Virtually Shaming All The People That Voted For Prop 8. He Was A Really Great Example Of A Straight Ally, Someone Who Used His Talent And Used His Ability To Further Our Cause, Not Just For Political Progressiveness But Also Specifically For Gay Marriage And Specifically For Harvey Milk's Entire Life.

I Think That All Bodies Are Beautiful In Millions Of Different Ways But I Get Down On Myself Too!

It's Important To Feel Beautiful; It's Political To Feel Beautiful.

I Think It Is Really Sad That When People Lose Their Homes They Kind Of Lose Their Minds Too.

Now On Facebook I Have All These 'friends' Who Used To Bully Me, And They're Like, 'we're So Proud! We Love You!' They Come To Shows And Want To Take A Picture, And They're Like, 'don't You Remember Us?' And I'm Like, 'i'm Sorry, I Don't.' And I Feel Bad, But I Feel Good.

Sometimes The Only Way To Deal With Horrific Things In Life Is Through A Dark Sense Of Humor.

I Punished Myself And Avoided My Reflection In Mirrors And Any Windows. I Would See Myself Reflected Back, And I Would Look Away, Trying To Pretend I Didn't Exist, Because I Hated Myself So Much.

I'm A Huge Fan Of The People And Things That Are Considered The Epitomes Of Tastelessness - Things Like Drag And Raunchy Comedy.

When You Feel Powerful, You Are Willing To Stand Up For Your Rights, You Are Willing To Stand Up For What You Believe In, You're More Willing To Stand Up And Be Counted.

When We're Talking About Feminism, I Get Sort Of Lost In The Argument. Because As A Woman Of Color, I Don't Know Where I Belong In This Argument. Where Do I Say, 'i Would Be Happy To Have Less Money'? How Do You Fight For Your Rights When I'm Super-grateful To Be Here At All?

I Thought I Was So Ugly For So Long, And I Wasted So Much Of My Life On This Dumb Notion.

If You're A Songwriter, You Want To Write A Song Like "oh Yeah" That Radically Shifts Everything. You Can Definitely Retire On That Song. You Want To Have Something You Can Put In Your Songbook That Everybody Can Recognize, Whether It's A Good Or Bad Thing.

I Want Jesus To Come Back And Say 'thats Not What I Meant'" -

I Grew Up A Witness To Gay Politics In Its Early Days. I Remember Seeing Harvey Milk And Been Moved By Him.

Try To Have A Good Day Today, Wherever You Are, Whatever You Do, Whoever Is Near, If No One Is Near. Try To Be Happy, Because You May Not See Tomorrow. There Is Someone This Morning, Who Didn't Wake Up, Who Will Never See This Day. Try To Feel Lucky That This Is Not You.

What Happened In The 80's Was That All The Men Died Of Aids. That Was A Particularly Depressing Time Because So Many People Passed Away And It Was A Very Desperate And Lonely Time, So I Think A Lot Of People Felt That We Were Somehow, Unreceived. Not Only By The Disease But Also By The Public Image Of The Disease. It Really Gave Homophobia A Real Shot In The Arm And Changed The Way People Viewed Gays, Queers. It Became An Entirely Different Atmosphere.

I Went To A Performance-art High School, And A Teacher There Was Signing Me Up For Open-mic Nights At The Comedy Club. I Think About It Now, And I Think, 'well, That May Be Inappropriate,' But It Was Great!'

Usually, If You Smile At Them And Show Some Interest In The Toy, They Will Give It To You. That's A Straight Up Democrat Move!

I Taught Sunday School For Two Years. And I Got Fired. I Abused My Authority. I Used To Teach Class Like This, "ok, If One More Person Talks, Everybody Is Going To Hell."

I Think That When You Are Accused Of Being In Bad Taste It Can Be Quite Positive. You're Challenging The Notions Of Polite Society. I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

I Can Never Tell When Something Is Funny. I Just Have To Do It Onstage And Find Out.

People At Shows Have Told Me That They've Shown My Videos To Their Parents And Families To Help Them Come Out Of The Closet. It's Very Inspiring That Comedy Can Do That And Can Help People Cope With Everyday Life And Challenges Through Humor.

I Think White People Like To Tell Asian People How They Should Feel About Race Because They're Too Scared To Tell Black People.

I've Always Wanted To Have Tattoos. I Grew Up Around People Who Were Very Tattooed. It's A Self-expression Thing; It's Also Helped Me Claim My Body As My Own. So I Think It's Really Positive. It's Really Joyful.

I Don't Want To Hurt Anybody Because Of Their Looks. That's Been Used To Hurt Me So Much.

As A Comedian You Are Making Yourself Vulnerable In Order To Make Others Happy.

Make Others Happy

All The Songs On Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Are The Encapsulation Of Heterosexual Love. I Have Different Records For Gay Sex.

I Love Heavily Tattooed Women. I Imagine Their Lives Are Filled With Sensuality And Excess, Madness And Generosity, Impulsive Natures And Fights. They Look Like They Have Endured Much Pain And Sadness, Yet Have The Ability To Transcend All Of It By Documenting It On The Body

My History In Show Business Spans Over A Quarter Of A Century, And I Have Seen Many People In The Industry Struggle With Coming Out, Only To Find Much More Success After They Finally Did.

I Am Always Writing No Matter What I Am Doing And No Matter What It Is For.

I Use My Work As Catharsis. That's Often The Best Thing That We Can Do, Is To Allow Ourselves To Rage Because It's So Rare That We Get To. We're Told To Forgive - I Don't Want To! I Don't Want To Forgive My Abuser! I Don't Care To And I Don't Like That Assumption That Forgiveness Makes Me A Better Person. It's Not Authentic To Me, My Feelings And What I Need. But Everyone Has Their Own Way.

It Was Hard For Me To Do The Show (all-american Girl) Because A Lot Of People Didn't Even Understand The Concept Of Asian-american. I Was On A Morning Show And The Host Said, "awright, Margaret, We're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate! So Why Don't You Tell Our Viewers In Your Native Language That We're Making That Transition?" So I Looked At The Camera And Said, "um, They're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate."

Native Language

A Few Words About ‘trannychasing.’ I Am Not A Trannychaser. Ok, Actually I Am A Trannychaser. No I Am Not. I Am A Trannycatcher! Just Kidding!

I've Worked With Incredible Producers Who Have Also Taken My Voice And Brought It To Another Level. I Think I Have Some Natural Abilities, But It's The Technique That I've Been Learning From The Best That Keeps Me Going. I'm Really Honored To Do It.

The First Thing You Lose On A Diet Is Brain Mass.

Inspirational Weight Loss

People Are Really Terrified Of Me. I Don't Know Why, I'm Very Nice, But People Are Very Intimidated By Me.

I'm Always Too Fat. And I Always Look Terrible. But I Love The Theater Of The Red Carpet.

I Like To Respond With Jokes And To Keep It As Light As Possible.

I Have So Much Hate That It Has Turned Into Love.

We Should Retain Our Anger In The Face Of Injustice And Not Be Shamed By That.

Im Not A Mom, But I Think The Word Mother Is About Wisdom.

I Could Never Make A Joke About Somebody Unless I Could Say It To Their Face And They'd Laugh.

It's Completely Unsexy [yello, "oh Yeah" 1985]. It Does Capture That Weird '80s Materialism And "we're Gonna Get It On Now" Vibe. But It's A Very Juvenile Approach. It Also Became A Weird Signal For Comedy, In The Sense That When You Heard The Song, It Meant Comedy Was Happening On Screen. I Feel Like This Song Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio.

Interventions Are Really Emotionally Exhausting And I Would Never Ever Want To Have One. In The Same Way, I Would Never Want To Have A Surprise Birthday Party. That Would Be Horrible.

This Was An Era Where I Was Going Out Every Night Seeing Sparks, Berlin, Duran Duran, And Split Enz. Amazing Acts Doing Really Weird Stuff, And I Was Very Open To Music And Letting It Transform Me.

I Think That Failure Is Just As Important As Success. In A Way, Failure Is A Kind Of Success If You Can Look At It In The Right Way, If You Can Accept It And Enjoy It In The Right Way.

To Me, Marriage Is Really Important And What We Build Families On. That's Why Gay Marriage Is Really Important.

My Father Tried To Get Me To Be Around Gay People A Lot When I Was Young. He Owned A Gay Bookstore And It Had A Lot Of Gay Literature And Art Books And He Wanted Me To Be Taken Care Of By The Young Gays And Lesbians Who Worked For Him.

I'm Really Bad With Trolls Because I Have A Lot Of Really Intense Friends Who Are Not Necessarily Doing Things So Legally. If I Get Trolled, [my Friends Will Send Me] An Email With The Person's Social Security Number, Phone Number, Pictures Of His Family, His Business, His Spouse. I See This Person In His Totality, And I Feel So Bad. I Shouldn't Have That Power.

I Have A Box Of Awards In The Closet. I Think It Is Weird To Put Them Out. I Might If I Had An Emmy Or Oscar, But I Don't.

It’s Like Your Batteries Get Low, And You Need To Charge Them On Someone Else’s Story.

I Think Sex Is Really About The Self, And Really A Self-reflection.

You Didn't Hear Yello Until Later In The Night In The Bondage Clubs. Things Would Start Getting Crazy And That's When You'd Hear Yello. It Was Bad.

When It Comes To Children, My Mom Doesn't Believe In Borders. She Loves All Children, And That's A Good Example Of Mothering The World. I Need To Do That, But Before I Can, I Need To Get Over My Fear Of Kids In The First Place.

I Really Love Steve Martin And All The Stuff He Did In The '70s. I Think It's Really Great.

I Am Star-struck But Also I've Known A Lot Of People For A Long Time. Like I'm Super Star-struck By Grant Lee Phillips And Jon Brion But I've Known Them For 17 Years. So It's Kinda Like Weird To Be Star-struck Still, But I Still Am!

I'm Taking A Lot Of My Favorite Artists, Different People, My Favorite Music And Marrying That With What I Do As A Comic. It's Very Collaborative, Arty, Fun And Cool.

I Don't Think I'm Gay. I Don't Think I'm Straight. I Think I'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

I Am So Beautiful, Sometimes People Weep When They See Me. And It Has Nothing To Do With What I Look Like Really, It Is Just That I Gave Myself The Power To Say That I Am Beautiful, And If I Could Do That, Maybe There Is Hope For Them Too. And The Great Divide Between The Beautiful And The Ugly Will Cease To Be. Because We Are All What We Choose.

Political Correctness Sometimes Does Great Work When It Helps Equalize The Playing Field When It Comes To Language, But It Does A Great Disservice When It Tries To Silence A Person Of Color.

Why Can't All Different Types Of Women Be Considered Beautiful? Why Can't We Can't We All Be Considered Possible Love Interests?

I Always Felt Like An Outsider Growing Up. In School, I Felt Like I Never Fit In. But It Didn't Help When My Mother, Instead Of Buying Me Glue For School Projects, Would Tell Me To Just Use Rice.

I Think Political Correctness Really Does Help Us When It Serves Us But It Doesn't Help Us When It Silences Us.

I Don't Understand The Whole Christian Conservativism Doesn't Make Sense To Me Because I Was Raised Very Christian And Its Kind Of An Odd Thing But My Parents, My Family Is Also Very Conservative In Their Own Way But I Understand The Bible And I Studied Christianity Very Well And I Don't See Where The Hatred Of Gays Comes From Because It Really Defeats Christ's Purpose.

I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

Comedy Is Quite A Difficult Place For Queers And For Women.

If Public Figures Came Out Of The Closet, Then The Lgbt Kids Who Saw Them On Tv Would Feel Safe, Before They Even Knew Why They Felt Dangerous. Maybe If Enough People Came Out Of The Closet, Gay Kids Would Never Feel Dangerous. Maybe We Could Have A World Where We Could All Just Live. We May Not All Agree, But Why Can't We Just All Live?

Comedy Is A Noble Art. And Every Comedian Who Does Anything Is Serving A Noble Purpose.

I Always Thought That People Told You That You're Beautiful-that This Was A Title That Was Bestowed Upon You. [...] I Think That It's Time To Take This Power Into Our Own Hands And To Say, "you Know What? I'm Beautiful. I Just Am. And That's My Light. I'm Just A Beautiful Woman."

Just Because You Are Blind And Unable To See My Beauty Doesn't Mean It Does Not Exist.

I Could Definitely Rock Out To Kraftwerk's "tour De France," Tubeway Army, Or Gary Numan. All Of That Stuff Has An Infectious Beat, But With "oh Yeah," I Can't Even Identify What's Going On. It Sounds Like Typewriter Keys, A Couple Of Synth Notes And Then This Really Deep "oh Yeah," Which I Always Picture As Andre The Giant On Vocals.

People Are So Sensitive About Race That They Can't Hear Someone Speaking About Their Life In A Very True Way, Or Doing Satire Or Political Parody.

It Makes It Very Hard To Say What You Believe In And Not Be Attacked For It. And It's Not Fair; I'm Korean, But I'm Not Supposed To Talk About My Experience And My Life? It's Unaccepting.

And If The Problem [with Contraception] Is Promiscuity, Then Why Does The Immense Popularity Of Viagra Go Unchecked? Doesn't It Make More Sense To Leave The Bullets Out Of The Gun Than To Try To Avoid Being Shot? Especially When The Gun Is An Old Musket, And You Have To Clean It Out And Tamp Down Gunpowder, Melt Down Scraps Of Lead And Pour It Into A Mold, Wait For It To Cool - Only To Have It Take Forever To Finally Go Off?

I Feel Like This Song [yello, "oh Yeah"] Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio. There Was Probably No Thought Behind It; They Were Just Playing With Some Samples And Threw It Together. I Feel Like There's No Dream Behind The Song. Usually There's A Dream Or Some Kind Of Passion Attached To A Song. This Song Feels Very Empty. It Made A Lot Of Money For The Songwriters But At The Expense Of Culture.

I Am In Love With Counting Crows. It Is So Manly And American.

The Label Of Tasteful Or Tasteless Is So Often Used To Silence People And To Maintain The Status Quo. It's Used To Shame People For Not Following The Commonly Accepted Routine, For Not Aligning Themselves With The Status Quo.

If You Say You're Not A Feminist, You're Almost Denying Your Own Existence.

Ugly. Is Irrelevant. It Is An Immeasurable Insult To A Woman, And Then Supposedly The Worst Crime You Can Commit As A Woman. But Ugly, As Beautiful, Is An Illusion.

I Love Fashion, I'm Actually A Pretty Talented Seamstress, So I Can Make Stuff For Myself, But That's Really Time-consuming.

The Power Of Visibility Can Never Be Underestimated.

I Don't Like People Telling Other People What To Do. Sex Work For A Lot Of Women Is Really Important, Especially In Countries Where Women Don't Have A Lot Of Power. Here We Can Have At Least Some Form ... Of Making Money.

When I Do An Asian Character Or An Asian Voice I'm Doing One Because That's My Heritage And My Family And Where I Come From. My Family Is Of Korean Descent And Specifically North Korean Descent. So It Makes Sense For Me To Talk About That Issue Because It's The Only Weapon I Have To Somehow Avenge My Family And My History.

Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle Totalitarianism.

I Just Think Women Are Funnier Than Men.

It's Good To Be Able To Laugh At Yourself And The Problems You Face In Life. Sense Of Humor Can Save You.

I Always Wonder Why Republicans Hate Gay Marriage, Because They Certainly Don't Hate Gay Prostitutes.

I Think I Appeal To People Who Are Living In The Margins Because Of Their Identity And Who Need To Feel Freedom Somewhere.

My Parents Are Very Funny When They Have To Deal With Anything Racy Or Off-color. They Usually Pretend They Don't Speak English.

I Definitely Support Free Speech.

My Parents Never Really Had That Much Money, So I Kind Of Live In The Same World That They Do.

For Women In My Family, In Korean Culture, Women Are Really Valued In Their Youth, And Then When They Get Older, It's Like They Almost Become Irrelevant.

I Didn't Appreciate The Young Woman That I Was, Or My Young Beauty, Because I Was So Obsessed With The Fact That I Felt Fat. It's Never Good To Add To Anybody Else's Suffering. It's An Important Topic To Really Get The Gravity And The Importance Of - Dealing With Dignity.

I Don't Like Pot Anymore -- I Forget Why.

You Have To Adhere To A Certain Morality, A Certain Level Of Decorum, Or Else You'll Be Punished And Labeled.

Snooki Is Really Beautiful And Looks Quite Like Elizabeth Taylor In 'cleopatra.' She Has The Same Bone Structure. I'm Kind Of Obsessed With 'jersey Shore.' People Don't Give Them Enough Credit For How Entertaining They Are.

If I'm Talking To A Guy Who's Straight And Cute And Single, I'm Like 'are You A Unicorn?'

Try To Love Someone Who You Want To Hate, Because They Are Just Like You, Somewhere Inside, In A Way You May Never Expect, In A Way That Resounds So Deeply Within You That You Cannot Believe It.

To Start Telling People That You're Beautiful, Or Just Feel Beautiful, Just Start Acting Like You Are The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. And It Really Improves Everything! Because Your Sort Of Psyche Responds To It - Like This Is Truthful!

There's This Idea Like Feminism Is Humorless And Humorless In A Way That's Like A Whistleblower. Like You're Going To - You're Going To Make Sure That Nobody Has Any Fun. And That's Not True At All. I Think Feminism Allows Me To Do What I Do, And I'm So Grateful To The Idea Of It And Grateful To All The Women That Came Before.

I Feel Sorry For Anyone That I Am Obsessed With. I Am Worse Than Gum In Your Hair, Very, Very Close To The Roots.

People Drain Me, Even The Closest Of Friends, And I Find Loneliness To Be The Best State In The Union To Live In.

I Love Wilco's "i'm The Man Who Loves You." Nels Cline Has That Weird Guitar Slide At The Beginning And The Song Is Whispered Actually.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. ... I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

There's Vulnerability - So I Have To Make Sure The Audience Is Certain That I Know What I'm Doing. There's Vulnerability There Because My Heart Is Open, But At The Same Time I Definitely Have A Lot Of "weapons" At My Disposal. I Have All The Language, I Have All Of The Moment - I Have All Of That To Spar With Somebody, To Take Anything On.

I Was In Toronto When They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. I Was In The Airport And There Were These Big Snowboarder Guys And They Had White Masks Around Their Necks, And As Soon As They Saw Me, They Put Their Masks On. So I Went "cough, Cough, Cough... You Wanna Egg Rorr?

For Me To Be Ten Pounds Thinner Is A Full-time Job, And I Am Handing In My Notice And Walking Out The Door!!

Since I Became A Dancer, I Have Felt Much Better About Myself.

I Was Crazy About The Song "doot Doot," So I Usually Love This Genre Of Weird, European Electronic.

If You Are A Woman, If You're A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are A Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World. And It's Going To Be Really Hard To Find Messages Of Self-love And Support Anywhere. Especially Women's And Gay Men's Culture. It's All About How You Have To Look A Certain Way, Or Else You're Worthless... For Us To Have Self-esteem Is Truly An Act Of Revolution, And Our Revolution Is Long Overdue.

Over Half The World Menstruates At One Time Or Another, But You'd Never Know It. Isn't That Strange?

As A Woman Of Color You Have Little More Permission To Go Deeper And Question Things Because Your Identity, In A Way, Is A Shield. But If You Come At It From A Minority Status, My Person, Who I Am, Softens The Blow Of Whatever It Is That I'm Saying, Because I Am That.

Like The Birth Of Venus, The Song [yello "oh, Yeah"] Denotes The Birth Of The Bro. The Song Just Reminds Me Of Bros Looking Out Over Lowered Ray-bans. It Birthed A Negative Sexual Revolution. I Was Going To A Lot Of Bondage Clubs At The Time And They Did Play This Song. The Song I Associate More Is That Horrible Enigma Song With The Gregorian Chant. There's Something Good Buried In That Song And I Might Not Hate It As Much If I Hadn't Been A Sex Worker.

I'm A Survivor. But I'm Also Victim, Too. Surviving Has The Connotation That You've Been Through It, You Lived Through It And That's Wonderful - But A Victim Is What I Was. "survivor" Is The More Healing Way To Look At It.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. We Cannot Change Anything Until We Accept That. I Cannot Do This Alone. I Don't Love Myself Enough To Do It Alone, But I Can Do It If We Have A Pact, If I Am Keeping Up My End Of The Bargain. I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

In My Life, I Don't Wear Makeup, I Don't Care About Any Of The Trappings Of The "feminine," Or How I Look In Photographs. To Me, It's Irrelevant, Which I Think Is Really Shocking To People In The Industry That I'm In, Because It's Like, "you Should Always Look Good", But I Honestly Don't Care. It's Not Important To Me.

[fur] Is Really Ridiculous. It's Outrageous. We're Not Living In Igloos. We Don't Need To Trade Pelts Anymore. There Is This Diabolical Idea That Fur Is Fashionable. It's Not. It's Death. There's No Excuse For It.

Silence Equals Nonexistence. If I Don't Raise My Voice, It's Like I Never Existed.

My Former Bullies Pay Extra To Come Backstage And Meet Me After Shows, And I Pretend Not To Know Them In Front Of Their Friends. It Is The Most Divine Pleasure To Exact The Revenge Of The Brutalized Child That Resides Within.

In America, I'm A Foreigner Because Of My Korean Heritage. In Asia, Because I Was Born In America, I'm A Foreigner. I'm Always A Foreigner.

Your Goal Is To Write That Masterpiece. Yello's Masterpiece Was "oh Yeah." Whatever I Say About The Song Doesn't Matter, Because It Has A Huge Impact On How We Remember The Era.

Anything Vince Clarke, Whether It's Erasure, Yaz, Or Depeche Mode. It's Basically R&b With Synths. It's Very Sexy Music And Perfect For Gay Sex.

I Mean, What's Great About Touring Is That's What You Do. You're In A Constant State Of Motion And Then You Stop To Do A Show And You Move Onto The Next City. All You Have To Do Is Do The Show. That's The Only Responsibility That You Have.

There's Lot Of Social Censorship Now, Especially In This Era Of Ubiquitous Social Media.

My Life Is Anything But Typical.

If You Have Sex, It Should Be For You, Not For The Other Person.

My Attitude Toward Peace Does Not Depend On Which War We Are Discussing. I Think That Words Should Do The Work Of Bombs.

Comedy Is A Noble Art.

There Are Definitely Racial Problems In This Country [the Usa]. Comedy Is A Way We Can Figure Out How To Solve It, And How To Solve It Without Making People Really Angry.

I'm Super-obsessed With 'intervention.' I Wrote A Song About It.

Privacy And Security Are Those Things You Give Up When You Show The World What Makes You Extraordinary.

I Started [performing] So Young That It Might Have Just Been That I Kind Of Had To Grow Up And Make People Understand That I Was Worth Listening To, Even Though I Was A Child.

I Get A Lot From Great '90s Artists Like Juliana Hatfield, The Pixies, And Bands Like That Dog And The Breeders.

That Notion That We're In The Post-racism, Post-sexism World Is So Not True.

I Think If Somebody Does Something Stupid, It's Okay To Make Fun Of Them, But [celebrities] Have Also Gotten Very Conscious About Social Media, Kind Of Like The Catholic Church In The 1500s.

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form. Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected. If I'm Angry About Something I Will Try To Think About Something Funny About It To Lighten The Load Of The Anger And Cope With The Anger.

Tattooing Is My Social Life, Too, So Most Of My Time Is Taken Up With That. People Like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis At Everlasting Tattoo.

I Can't Drag Myself Away From 'final Cut Pro.' It Is A Digital Video Editing System. I Am Obsessed With It, But I Am Always Away From Home, And I Can't Use It.

The Stuff I Do And Say Onstage I Can Do Easily. As A Performer, That Comes Easily. But Being Social Offstage, It's Not Easy For Me.

Try To Put Your Happiness Before Anyone Else's, Because You May Never Have Done So In Your Entire Life, If You Really Think About It, If You Are Really Honest With Yourself.

It's Not The Best Between My Family And Me. There Are So Many Crimes Left Unpunished, Debts Unpaid, White Elephants In The Middle Of The Room That No One Will Even Offer A Peanut To. We Are In The Red, Emotionally Speaking.

You Have To Have A Very Holler-y Sensibility. So They [the Audience] Know There's Something Worth Listening To.

I Love New York. I Love Working Here.

I Love New York

Humanity Is A Natural Foil For Inhumanity, And Humanity Is What Will Ultimately Keep Us Going When All Else Has Failed.

I Was Raised To Be Self-conscious About Weight. Then As I Got Older And Started Doing Television, It Became A Career Issue, Like, 'you Have To Lose Weight Or You'll Lose That Job.'

That's Part Of Being An Artist; You Have To Be That Sensitive.

Being An Artist

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form.

Something As Important As Marriage Equality, Which Is Now A Constitutional Right [in The Usa], Is Something That Cannot Be Denied. It's Also Very Un-christian, If You Think About The Way Christ Was And Christ's Teachings. This Is Not Loving. This Is Anger. This Is Hatred. This Is Bigotry. And It's Wrong.

Success Is Meaningless If You Can't Sleep At Night Because Of Harsh Things Said, Petty Secrets Sharpened Against Hard And Stony Regret, Just Waiting To Be Plunged Into The Soft Underbelly Of A 'friendship.'

Congratulations

I’m Not Playing The Race Card. I’m Playing The Rice Card.

It's Always Considered Bad Taste To Comment On A Tragedy Right When It's Happening, But I Love When Something Is Considered Too Soon To Talk About Because Then You Can Blast Past That Social Censorship To Get Into Something Real.

To Be A Feminist Is To Be Alive.

I've Spent So Much Time Feeling Ugly And Being Treated As Ugly As A Result. But I Changed My Attitude And Said, “i’m Beautiful Because I Love Everybody As Much As I Can. I’m Beautiful Because I Have Wonderful Friends. And I’m Beautiful Because I Say I Am. I’ve Earned It, And I’m Gonna Be It.

Wonderful Friends

I Have Permanent Damage To My Body Because I Wanted To Be Thin.

I Get Up Around 7 A.m. That's Very Early For A Stand-up Comic. Then I'll Have Breakfast With My Husband, The Artist Al Ridenour, Take My Three Dogs For A Walk And Commence With My Work.

I Want To Get Married But I Look At Husbands The Same Way I Look At Tattoos. I Want One, But I Can't Decide What I Want, And I Don't Want To Be Stuck With Something I'd Grow To Hate And Have Surgically Removed.

I Love Drugs, But I Hate Hangovers, And The Hatred Of The Hangover Wins By A Landslide Every Time.

Comedy Was All I Ever Wanted.

If We Have The Opportunity To Be Generous With Our Hearts, Ourselves, We Have No Idea Of The Depth And Breadth Of Love's Reach.

I'm Very Much A Stand-up Comedian In My Heart. That's Really What I Do. Now I'm Trying To Incorporate All Of The Different Elements Of My Work As A Performer, And Use It As A Stand-up Comedian.

I Think I Heard It [ Ferris Bueller's Day Off ] Earlier. This Was Being Played On A Station In San Francisco Called Live 105, Which Was A New Wave Station. It Was One Of The First Stations To Change Its Format In The Early '80s. There Was This Wave Of Really Strange Music Coming From Europe Like Kraftwork And Freur.

It's Hard To Find Peace With Your Thighs, But When They Chafe, Try To Be Grateful For Them. Your Thighs Let You Run And Get You Where You Want To Go. I Have Not Just Thigh Peace But Thigh Happiness, And It Begins With Thigh Gratitude.

I Loved Everything. I Read Everything. Art And Poetry And Literature And Trash And Sci Fi. I Didn't Know What I Would Become Yet And I Needed To Read To Figure It Out.

I Have A Song About How Much I Hate Emojis And The Lazy Thinking Of People Who Use Them. I Wish That More People Had Respect For The English Language.

Thankfully, Beauty Is Easier To Remove Than Apply, And A Swipe Of Demaquillage In The Right Direction And You Are You Once Again.

Right Direction

I Think Reality Television Is Such A Special Talent.

I Urge You All Today, Especially Today During These Times Of Chaos And War, To Love Yourself Without Reservations And To Love Each Other Without Restraint. Unless You're Into Leather.

I Don't Have Children, And I Am Not Sure If I Have Wanted Them Or Never Wanted Them. It's Weird Not To Be Able To Decide. I Don't Know If I Could Stand That Kind Of Commitment, Or If I Am Really Honest, I Don't Think That I Could Handle Being That Vulnerable To Someone Else.

Maybe I Wanted To Hear It So Badly That My Ears Betrayed My Mind In Order To Secure My Heart.

I Think It Is Time For All Babies To Let Us Know Who They Want For President.

Homophobia Is A Tough One. In Some Places It's Actually Very Ok To Be Homophobic. Comedy Clubs In General Are Very Unsafe Spaces For Lgbt, For Women, For Asian People. So My Goal In Comedy Has Sort Of Been To Make This A Safe Space For People Who Were Like Me.

That We Are Selfish Gives Us The Opportunity To Gain The Power So That, In Time, We Might Be Selfless. To Give Back What We Have Learned. To Teach What We Know, And Shorten The Journey For Those Who Will Come After Us.

I Think I Started Out Okay But With Aids Came A Great Deal Of Silence About Gayness And This Period Of Lose And Morning, But At The Same Time A Kind Of Feeling Like You Wanted To Get Back Into The Closet Because Being Gay Was Such A Terrible Thing At That Point.

White Fragility! White People Are So Sensitive About Race And Racial Conversations. I Feel Like I'm Always Walking On Eggshells When I'm Around White People.

Often Something That Is In Bad Taste Or Considered To Be In Bad Taste Is Something That's Just Very True But That People Are Unwilling To Discuss Or Comment On.

We Must Know Who We Are, So We Can Know What We Want, So We Don't End Up Wanting The Wrong Thing And Get It And Realize We Don't Want It, Because By Then It's Too Late. We Are Powerful Enough That We Can Manifest Anything Into Our Lives. To Use This Power With Great Care And Love Is The Secret To Living A Happy Life.

[an Article About Cho] Started Out, "funny, Sexy, Zaftig Margaret Cho..." What Is "zaftig?" Isn't That German For "big Fat Pig?" I Guess I Was Lucky - "zaftig" Is Kind Of A Nice Word. It Could Have Been, "funny, Sexy, Obese Margaret Cho."

I’m Not Going To Die Because I Failed As Someone Else. I’m Going To Succeed As Myself.

Funny Inspirational

Some People Are That - More Than A Parent, More Than A Role Model, More Than Anything Less Than A Religion.

No Wonder All The Great Comedians Had Such Destructive Private Lives. ... After You Get The Audience Into That Kind Of Frenzy, And You Are Being Worshiped Like The False Idol You Are, How Do You Leave The Stage And Transition Back Into Real Life? ... What Is There Left To Do But Set Yourself On Fire?

You Have To Constantly Recreate Yourself In Show Business, Which Is A Very Fast Thing, Especially Now With The Tremendous Speed Of Social Media. There Are So Many Personalities, So Many Different Kinds Of Comedy That You Can Access, So It’s Definitely Important To Stake Your Claim And Say Who You Are.

I Was Lucky. I Always Had Really Great Friends In My Personal Life, People Always Just Knew Who I Was. It Wasn't Until I Was In Show Business Where That Sort Of Changed Or Shifted At First. I Have Always Had A Great Support Network. I Have Had A Lot Of Really Wonderful, Close Friends.

Sex In General, For Me, Is A Lot Of Different Aspects Of Humanity, Not Just My Relationships. It's My Relationship To Myself And My Body.

Comedy Was The Key To Everything. I Grew Up Fast And Controlled My Future By Bringing It On Faster Than It Naturally Unfolded. I Cheated Myself Out Of A Childhood But Then Got A Running Headstart Into Adulthood That No One Else Could Keep Up With.

I Helped Deliver One Of My Best Friend's Children. I Just Was So Amazed By My Friend, Because She Was Not Just A Woman, She Was Not Just A Mother. At That Moment She Was Creation; She Was Life; She Was God. And As I Looked In Her Eyes, Boom! Her Pussy Exploded.

Strange, There's So Much Religion In The World, But Only Enough To Make Us Fight Over Who Is Right, Not Enough To Make Us Love One Another.

I Do Love The Road, Because For Me, The Road Is Very Comfortable, And It's Very Much What I've Always Wanted To Do. It's One Of The Most Appealing Things About Comedy For Me, So I Do Really Have An Affection For It.

There's A Lot Of Guy Comics Who I Think Are Funny, But I Generally Am More Excited About A Special Or A Show Where There Are Females.

The Only Thing That Was Sort Of Asian [as A Role Model] Was Hello Kitty. I Don't Want To Model Myself After Hello Kitty. She Has No Mouth.

My Mother Goes Crazy Over Babies. Some People Just Do. They Love 'em! I Never Have. Babies Scare Me More Than Anything. They're Tiny And Fragile And Impressionable - And Someone Else's! As Much As I Hate Borrowing Stuff, That Is How Much I Hate Holding Other People's Babies. It's Too Much Responsibility.

I Voice My Opinions On Social Media And I Have People Threatening Me With Violence. It Is Troubling But I Can Fight Back, Which Is Good.

Pot Is An Insidious Drug Because It Can Steal Your Life Away From You, Without You Even Being Aware Of It. I Had A Love Affair With Pot For Ten Years. Pot Was My Most Devoted Partner.

I Have Learned To Love That Which Is Meant To Harm Me, So That I Can Stand In The Way Of Those Who Are Less Strong. I Can Take The Bullets For Those Who Aren't Able To.

I Think Self-deprecation Is Such A Disease, And I Want To Cure Everybody Of It And So That's My Contribution.

Most Conservatives Also Believe In The Death Penalty, But Not Abortion, Which Proves They Like To Procrastinate.

I'm Not A Body Shamer. The Word Fat Has Been Used To Hurt Me My Entire Life.

Love Is The Big Booming Beat Which Covers Up The Noise Of Hate.

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