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There Are Definitely Racial Problems In This Country [the Usa]. Comedy Is A Way We Can Figure Out How To Solve It, And How To Solve It Without Making People Really Angry.

-Margaret Cho

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There Are Definitely Racial

Margaret Cho

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There Are Definitely Racial Problems In This Country [the Usa]. Comedy Is A Way We Can Figure Out How To Solve It, And How To Solve It Without Making People Really Angry.

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More From Margaret Cho

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. ... I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

I Think That All Bodies Are Beautiful In Millions Of Different Ways But I Get Down On Myself Too!

I Don't Have Children, And I Am Not Sure If I Have Wanted Them Or Never Wanted Them. It's Weird Not To Be Able To Decide. I Don't Know If I Could Stand That Kind Of Commitment, Or If I Am Really Honest, I Don't Think That I Could Handle Being That Vulnerable To Someone Else.

People At Shows Have Told Me That They've Shown My Videos To Their Parents And Families To Help Them Come Out Of The Closet. It's Very Inspiring That Comedy Can Do That And Can Help People Cope With Everyday Life And Challenges Through Humor.

All The Songs On Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Are The Encapsulation Of Heterosexual Love. I Have Different Records For Gay Sex.

I Get A Lot From Great '90s Artists Like Juliana Hatfield, The Pixies, And Bands Like That Dog And The Breeders.

I Knew I Was Crazy Because I Was Watching Jesus Christ Superstar And The Part Where Jesus Carries The Cross Up The Mountain, I Actually Said To Myself, "wow! That Must Be A Really Good Workout! Yeah, Because You're Doing Arms And Cardio!"

Tattooing Is My Social Life, Too, So Most Of My Time Is Taken Up With That. People Like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis At Everlasting Tattoo.

I Will Never Stop Complaining.

Stop Complaining

I Get Up Around 7 A.m. That's Very Early For A Stand-up Comic. Then I'll Have Breakfast With My Husband, The Artist Al Ridenour, Take My Three Dogs For A Walk And Commence With My Work.

I Had Been Taking Various Lessons. I've Also Had A Lot Of Incredible Singers Give Me A Ton Of Great Advice. From Cyndi Lauper, Who Kind Of Taught Me The Basics, And I've Also Worked With Bird. She's A Tremendous Coach And She Often Coaches The Contestants On 'american Idol.' I've Had A Great Amount Of Support.

I Always Thought That People Told You That You're Beautiful-that This Was A Title That Was Bestowed Upon You. [...] I Think That It's Time To Take This Power Into Our Own Hands And To Say, "you Know What? I'm Beautiful. I Just Am. And That's My Light. I'm Just A Beautiful Woman."

Homophobia Is A Tough One. In Some Places It's Actually Very Ok To Be Homophobic. Comedy Clubs In General Are Very Unsafe Spaces For Lgbt, For Women, For Asian People. So My Goal In Comedy Has Sort Of Been To Make This A Safe Space For People Who Were Like Me.

I Don't Like To Criticize Music And I Had A Really Hard Time Picking Out The Song I Hate For This Because I End Up Seeing And Working With Musicians All The Time.

I Don't Really Know What 'selling Out' Is Exactly. I Would Sell Out If I Could, But Nobody's Buying It. I Would Love To Go Mainstream, But My Comedy Is Too Edgy. It's Always Too Dirty. It's Always Too Filthy. I'm Dying To Sell Out. But I Love Doing Comedy, I Love Touring, And I Think I Would Do Everything For Free.

My Parents Are Very Funny When They Have To Deal With Anything Racy Or Off-color. They Usually Pretend They Don't Speak English.

A Few Words About ‘trannychasing.’ I Am Not A Trannychaser. Ok, Actually I Am A Trannychaser. No I Am Not. I Am A Trannycatcher! Just Kidding!

It's Hard To Find Peace With Your Thighs, But When They Chafe, Try To Be Grateful For Them. Your Thighs Let You Run And Get You Where You Want To Go. I Have Not Just Thigh Peace But Thigh Happiness, And It Begins With Thigh Gratitude.

I Think That When You Are Accused Of Being In Bad Taste It Can Be Quite Positive. You're Challenging The Notions Of Polite Society. I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

I Use My Work As Catharsis. That's Often The Best Thing That We Can Do, Is To Allow Ourselves To Rage Because It's So Rare That We Get To. We're Told To Forgive - I Don't Want To! I Don't Want To Forgive My Abuser! I Don't Care To And I Don't Like That Assumption That Forgiveness Makes Me A Better Person. It's Not Authentic To Me, My Feelings And What I Need. But Everyone Has Their Own Way.

The Only Thing That Was Sort Of Asian [as A Role Model] Was Hello Kitty. I Don't Want To Model Myself After Hello Kitty. She Has No Mouth.

It Was Hard For Me To Do The Show (all-american Girl) Because A Lot Of People Didn't Even Understand The Concept Of Asian-american. I Was On A Morning Show And The Host Said, "awright, Margaret, We're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate! So Why Don't You Tell Our Viewers In Your Native Language That We're Making That Transition?" So I Looked At The Camera And Said, "um, They're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate."

Native Language

[fur] Is Really Ridiculous. It's Outrageous. We're Not Living In Igloos. We Don't Need To Trade Pelts Anymore. There Is This Diabolical Idea That Fur Is Fashionable. It's Not. It's Death. There's No Excuse For It.

I Always Felt Like An Outsider Growing Up. In School, I Felt Like I Never Fit In. But It Didn't Help When My Mother, Instead Of Buying Me Glue For School Projects, Would Tell Me To Just Use Rice.

Where Do People Get Off Telling People What To Do? It's Their Bodies. If You Legalized Sex Work And Legally Protected The Sex Workers, You Wouldn't See Anything Like Human Trafficking. All Of That Would Be Obliterated.

I Loved Everything. I Read Everything. Art And Poetry And Literature And Trash And Sci Fi. I Didn't Know What I Would Become Yet And I Needed To Read To Figure It Out.

If You Are A Woman, If You're A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are A Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World. And It's Going To Be Really Hard To Find Messages Of Self-love And Support Anywhere. Especially Women's And Gay Men's Culture. It's All About How You Have To Look A Certain Way, Or Else You're Worthless... For Us To Have Self-esteem Is Truly An Act Of Revolution, And Our Revolution Is Long Overdue.

To Start Telling People That You're Beautiful, Or Just Feel Beautiful, Just Start Acting Like You Are The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. And It Really Improves Everything! Because Your Sort Of Psyche Responds To It - Like This Is Truthful!

There's A Lot Of Guy Comics Who I Think Are Funny, But I Generally Am More Excited About A Special Or A Show Where There Are Females.

I Have Learned To Love That Which Is Meant To Harm Me, So That I Can Stand In The Way Of Those Who Are Less Strong. I Can Take The Bullets For Those Who Aren't Able To.

I Could Definitely Rock Out To Kraftwerk's "tour De France," Tubeway Army, Or Gary Numan. All Of That Stuff Has An Infectious Beat, But With "oh Yeah," I Can't Even Identify What's Going On. It Sounds Like Typewriter Keys, A Couple Of Synth Notes And Then This Really Deep "oh Yeah," Which I Always Picture As Andre The Giant On Vocals.

There Are Definitely Racial Problems In This Country [the Usa]. Comedy Is A Way We Can Figure Out How To Solve It, And How To Solve It Without Making People Really Angry.

I’m Not Playing The Race Card. I’m Playing The Rice Card.

It Makes It Very Hard To Say What You Believe In And Not Be Attacked For It. And It's Not Fair; I'm Korean, But I'm Not Supposed To Talk About My Experience And My Life? It's Unaccepting.

Comedy Is A Noble Art.

I Mean, What's Great About Touring Is That's What You Do. You're In A Constant State Of Motion And Then You Stop To Do A Show And You Move Onto The Next City. All You Have To Do Is Do The Show. That's The Only Responsibility That You Have.

I Really Love Steve Martin And All The Stuff He Did In The '70s. I Think It's Really Great.

People Are Really Terrified Of Me. I Don't Know Why, I'm Very Nice, But People Are Very Intimidated By Me.

Over Half The World Menstruates At One Time Or Another, But You'd Never Know It. Isn't That Strange?

Maybe I Wanted To Hear It So Badly That My Ears Betrayed My Mind In Order To Secure My Heart.

I Think Self-deprecation Is Such A Disease, And I Want To Cure Everybody Of It And So That's My Contribution.

When I Do An Asian Character Or An Asian Voice I'm Doing One Because That's My Heritage And My Family And Where I Come From. My Family Is Of Korean Descent And Specifically North Korean Descent. So It Makes Sense For Me To Talk About That Issue Because It's The Only Weapon I Have To Somehow Avenge My Family And My History.

I Was Like, Am I Gay? Am I Straight? And I Realized...i'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

I Don't Like Catchphrases Either. A Current One Would Be, "bye, Felicia." It's Used So Much That We Don't Even Know The Origin Anymore.

If You Say You're Not A Feminist, You're Almost Denying Your Own Existence.

Im Not A Mom, But I Think The Word Mother Is About Wisdom.

I Think It Is Really Sad That When People Lose Their Homes They Kind Of Lose Their Minds Too.

I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

It's Good To Be Able To Laugh At Yourself And The Problems You Face In Life. Sense Of Humor Can Save You.

In My Life, I Don't Wear Makeup, I Don't Care About Any Of The Trappings Of The "feminine," Or How I Look In Photographs. To Me, It's Irrelevant, Which I Think Is Really Shocking To People In The Industry That I'm In, Because It's Like, "you Should Always Look Good", But I Honestly Don't Care. It's Not Important To Me.

I Have A Box Of Awards In The Closet. I Think It Is Weird To Put Them Out. I Might If I Had An Emmy Or Oscar, But I Don't.

The First Thing You Lose On A Diet Is Brain Mass.

Inspirational Weight Loss

Success Is Meaningless If You Can't Sleep At Night Because Of Harsh Things Said, Petty Secrets Sharpened Against Hard And Stony Regret, Just Waiting To Be Plunged Into The Soft Underbelly Of A 'friendship.'

Congratulations

I Am Star-struck But Also I've Known A Lot Of People For A Long Time. Like I'm Super Star-struck By Grant Lee Phillips And Jon Brion But I've Known Them For 17 Years. So It's Kinda Like Weird To Be Star-struck Still, But I Still Am!

Monogamy Is So Weird. Like When You Know Their Name And Stuff.

I Am Always Writing No Matter What I Am Doing And No Matter What It Is For.

[an Article About Cho] Started Out, "funny, Sexy, Zaftig Margaret Cho..." What Is "zaftig?" Isn't That German For "big Fat Pig?" I Guess I Was Lucky - "zaftig" Is Kind Of A Nice Word. It Could Have Been, "funny, Sexy, Obese Margaret Cho."

Political Correctness Sometimes Does Great Work When It Helps Equalize The Playing Field When It Comes To Language, But It Does A Great Disservice When It Tries To Silence A Person Of Color.

Anything Vince Clarke, Whether It's Erasure, Yaz, Or Depeche Mode. It's Basically R&b With Synths. It's Very Sexy Music And Perfect For Gay Sex.

I Was Raised To Be Self-conscious About Weight. Then As I Got Older And Started Doing Television, It Became A Career Issue, Like, 'you Have To Lose Weight Or You'll Lose That Job.'

George Bush Isn't Hitler. He Could Be If He Applied Himself.

When People Think The World Of You, Be Careful With Them.

I Feel Like This Song [yello, "oh Yeah"] Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio. There Was Probably No Thought Behind It; They Were Just Playing With Some Samples And Threw It Together. I Feel Like There's No Dream Behind The Song. Usually There's A Dream Or Some Kind Of Passion Attached To A Song. This Song Feels Very Empty. It Made A Lot Of Money For The Songwriters But At The Expense Of Culture.

When I Was 14, I Told My Mother I Was Going To Drop Out Of High School And Go Do Stand-up Comedy. All She Said Was 'oh Maybe It's Better If You Just Die,' Because It Was Killing Her That I Was Doing This.

I Have Permanent Damage To My Body Because I Wanted To Be Thin.

Why Go Through Life Feeling Cheated? It Does Nothing But Make You Bitter.

I've Always Wanted To Have Tattoos. I Grew Up Around People Who Were Very Tattooed. It's A Self-expression Thing; It's Also Helped Me Claim My Body As My Own. So I Think It's Really Positive. It's Really Joyful.

I Got Back From Toronto, Where They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.

I Love Wilco's "i'm The Man Who Loves You." Nels Cline Has That Weird Guitar Slide At The Beginning And The Song Is Whispered Actually.

I Have So Much Hate That It Has Turned Into Love.

I Think Political Correctness Really Does Help Us When It Serves Us But It Doesn't Help Us When It Silences Us.

I Don't Think I'm Gay. I Don't Think I'm Straight. I Think I'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

Humanity Is A Natural Foil For Inhumanity, And Humanity Is What Will Ultimately Keep Us Going When All Else Has Failed.

When We're Talking About Feminism, I Get Sort Of Lost In The Argument. Because As A Woman Of Color, I Don't Know Where I Belong In This Argument. Where Do I Say, 'i Would Be Happy To Have Less Money'? How Do You Fight For Your Rights When I'm Super-grateful To Be Here At All?

Politics Has Less To Do With Where You Live Than Where Your Heart Is.

Like The Birth Of Venus, The Song [yello "oh, Yeah"] Denotes The Birth Of The Bro. The Song Just Reminds Me Of Bros Looking Out Over Lowered Ray-bans. It Birthed A Negative Sexual Revolution. I Was Going To A Lot Of Bondage Clubs At The Time And They Did Play This Song. The Song I Associate More Is That Horrible Enigma Song With The Gregorian Chant. There's Something Good Buried In That Song And I Might Not Hate It As Much If I Hadn't Been A Sex Worker.

You Didn't Hear Yello Until Later In The Night In The Bondage Clubs. Things Would Start Getting Crazy And That's When You'd Hear Yello. It Was Bad.

I’m Not Going To Die Because I Failed As Someone Else. I’m Going To Succeed As Myself.

Funny Inspirational

I Have A Song About How Much I Hate Emojis And The Lazy Thinking Of People Who Use Them. I Wish That More People Had Respect For The English Language.

I Just Think Women Are Funnier Than Men.

I Think Sex Is Really About The Self, And Really A Self-reflection.

Try To Put Your Happiness Before Anyone Else's, Because You May Never Have Done So In Your Entire Life, If You Really Think About It, If You Are Really Honest With Yourself.

Comedy Was The Key To Everything. I Grew Up Fast And Controlled My Future By Bringing It On Faster Than It Naturally Unfolded. I Cheated Myself Out Of A Childhood But Then Got A Running Headstart Into Adulthood That No One Else Could Keep Up With.

Something As Important As Marriage Equality, Which Is Now A Constitutional Right [in The Usa], Is Something That Cannot Be Denied. It's Also Very Un-christian, If You Think About The Way Christ Was And Christ's Teachings. This Is Not Loving. This Is Anger. This Is Hatred. This Is Bigotry. And It's Wrong.

I Think It Is Time For All Babies To Let Us Know Who They Want For President.

The Incognito Of Lower Class Employment Is An Effective Cloak For Any Dagger One Might Wish To Hide.

People Are So Sensitive About Race That They Can't Hear Someone Speaking About Their Life In A Very True Way, Or Doing Satire Or Political Parody.

I Am Into Belly Dancing. I Used To Only Hang With Comics. Now I Have Friends Who Are Dancers, And My Whole House Has A Harem Feel.

The Intention Is To Make People Laugh, To Make People Happy. It's Unselfish, It's In The Service Of Others, And As A Comedian You Are Making Yourself Vulnerable In Order To Make Others Happy. And It Has A Transformative Power.

Make Others Happy

My Father Tried To Get Me To Be Around Gay People A Lot When I Was Young. He Owned A Gay Bookstore And It Had A Lot Of Gay Literature And Art Books And He Wanted Me To Be Taken Care Of By The Young Gays And Lesbians Who Worked For Him.

I'm Very Much A Stand-up Comedian In My Heart. That's Really What I Do. Now I'm Trying To Incorporate All Of The Different Elements Of My Work As A Performer, And Use It As A Stand-up Comedian.

I Don't Like Pot Anymore -- I Forget Why.

In The Early '90s, There Was Such A Limited Idea Of What You Could See On Tv.

What Happened In The 80's Was That All The Men Died Of Aids. That Was A Particularly Depressing Time Because So Many People Passed Away And It Was A Very Desperate And Lonely Time, So I Think A Lot Of People Felt That We Were Somehow, Unreceived. Not Only By The Disease But Also By The Public Image Of The Disease. It Really Gave Homophobia A Real Shot In The Arm And Changed The Way People Viewed Gays, Queers. It Became An Entirely Different Atmosphere.

I Like To Respond With Jokes And To Keep It As Light As Possible.

I Urge You All Today, Especially Today During These Times Of Chaos And War, To Love Yourself Without Reservations And To Love Each Other Without Restraint. Unless You're Into Leather.

I've Always Been An Ajumma, But When You Get Older, The Culture We Were Brought Up In Works In Our Favor Where Aging Is Good, Combatting The Hollywood Idea That Aging Is Bad. I'm Very Grateful For That.

The Best Tattooists Are In San Francisco, And They're Kind Of Like My Family Now. I'm Always Excited To Come Back To San Francisco.

I'm Taking A Lot Of My Favorite Artists, Different People, My Favorite Music And Marrying That With What I Do As A Comic. It's Very Collaborative, Arty, Fun And Cool.

As A Comedian You Are Making Yourself Vulnerable In Order To Make Others Happy.

Make Others Happy

I Can Never Tell When Something Is Funny. I Just Have To Do It Onstage And Find Out.

That Notion That We're In The Post-racism, Post-sexism World Is So Not True.

My Boyfriend And I Live Together, Which Means We Don't Have Sex - Ever. Now That The Milk Is Free, We've Both Become Lactose Intolerant.

White Fragility! White People Are So Sensitive About Race And Racial Conversations. I Feel Like I'm Always Walking On Eggshells When I'm Around White People.

If I'm Talking To A Guy Who's Straight And Cute And Single, I'm Like 'are You A Unicorn?'

If Public Figures Came Out Of The Closet, Then The Lgbt Kids Who Saw Them On Tv Would Feel Safe, Before They Even Knew Why They Felt Dangerous. Maybe If Enough People Came Out Of The Closet, Gay Kids Would Never Feel Dangerous. Maybe We Could Have A World Where We Could All Just Live. We May Not All Agree, But Why Can't We Just All Live?

I Love Drugs, But I Hate Hangovers, And The Hatred Of The Hangover Wins By A Landslide Every Time.

We Must Know Who We Are, So We Can Know What We Want, So We Don't End Up Wanting The Wrong Thing And Get It And Realize We Don't Want It, Because By Then It's Too Late. We Are Powerful Enough That We Can Manifest Anything Into Our Lives. To Use This Power With Great Care And Love Is The Secret To Living A Happy Life.

Try To Have A Good Day Today, Wherever You Are, Whatever You Do, Whoever Is Near, If No One Is Near. Try To Be Happy, Because You May Not See Tomorrow. There Is Someone This Morning, Who Didn't Wake Up, Who Will Never See This Day. Try To Feel Lucky That This Is Not You.

It’s Like Your Batteries Get Low, And You Need To Charge Them On Someone Else’s Story.

My Attitude Toward Peace Does Not Depend On Which War We Are Discussing. I Think That Words Should Do The Work Of Bombs.

I Think That Reaching Out To Kids That Feel Really Isolated Is A Life Saving Gesture That We Have A Responsibility As Older Queers To Do.

I Punished Myself And Avoided My Reflection In Mirrors And Any Windows. I Would See Myself Reflected Back, And I Would Look Away, Trying To Pretend I Didn't Exist, Because I Hated Myself So Much.

No Matter What These Terrorists Do, I Refuse To Be Terrorized. All This Requires Is Just A Few Alterations In Our Day To Day Lives. For Example, My First Instinct When I Receive An Envelope Full Of White Powder... Is To Snort It! I Just Won't Do That This Time!

The Power Of Visibility Can Never Be Underestimated.

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form. Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected. If I'm Angry About Something I Will Try To Think About Something Funny About It To Lighten The Load Of The Anger And Cope With The Anger.

I Didn't Appreciate The Young Woman That I Was, Or My Young Beauty, Because I Was So Obsessed With The Fact That I Felt Fat. It's Never Good To Add To Anybody Else's Suffering. It's An Important Topic To Really Get The Gravity And The Importance Of - Dealing With Dignity.

I Don't Like People Telling Other People What To Do. Sex Work For A Lot Of Women Is Really Important, Especially In Countries Where Women Don't Have A Lot Of Power. Here We Can Have At Least Some Form ... Of Making Money.

To Be A Feminist Is To Be Alive.

I Helped Deliver One Of My Best Friend's Children. I Just Was So Amazed By My Friend, Because She Was Not Just A Woman, She Was Not Just A Mother. At That Moment She Was Creation; She Was Life; She Was God. And As I Looked In Her Eyes, Boom! Her Pussy Exploded.

You Have To Constantly Recreate Yourself In Show Business, Which Is A Very Fast Thing, Especially Now With The Tremendous Speed Of Social Media. There Are So Many Personalities, So Many Different Kinds Of Comedy That You Can Access, So It’s Definitely Important To Stake Your Claim And Say Who You Are.

I Am In Love With Counting Crows. It Is So Manly And American.

Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle Totalitarianism.

Silence Equals Nonexistence. If I Don't Raise My Voice, It's Like I Never Existed.

I Think I Appeal To People Who Are Living In The Margins Because Of Their Identity And Who Need To Feel Freedom Somewhere.

To Me, Marriage Is Really Important And What We Build Families On. That's Why Gay Marriage Is Really Important.

And If The Problem [with Contraception] Is Promiscuity, Then Why Does The Immense Popularity Of Viagra Go Unchecked? Doesn't It Make More Sense To Leave The Bullets Out Of The Gun Than To Try To Avoid Being Shot? Especially When The Gun Is An Old Musket, And You Have To Clean It Out And Tamp Down Gunpowder, Melt Down Scraps Of Lead And Pour It Into A Mold, Wait For It To Cool - Only To Have It Take Forever To Finally Go Off?

I Went To A Performance-art High School, And A Teacher There Was Signing Me Up For Open-mic Nights At The Comedy Club. I Think About It Now, And I Think, 'well, That May Be Inappropriate,' But It Was Great!'

My Inclination During Sex Always Is To Use Sex Toys. That's Not Something Men Are Often Used To.

The Newest Victims Of The Nation's Foreclosure Crisis Are Pets, Which Is Extremely Distressing To Me.

I Love Singing And That's Kind Of My New Thing.

Privacy And Security Are Those Things You Give Up When You Show The World What Makes You Extraordinary.

My Philosophy Is, "murder The Rapist In Your Mind So You Stop Killing Yourself." I've Seen, In My Lifetime, That Sexual Abuse Has Turned Into Self-abuse. When I Kill The Rapist Inside Of Me, I Will Stop Killing Myself.

People Drain Me, Even The Closest Of Friends, And I Find Loneliness To Be The Best State In The Union To Live In.

I Started [performing] So Young That It Might Have Just Been That I Kind Of Had To Grow Up And Make People Understand That I Was Worth Listening To, Even Though I Was A Child.

For Me To Be Ten Pounds Thinner Is A Full-time Job, And I Am Handing In My Notice And Walking Out The Door!!

I Think If Somebody Does Something Stupid, It's Okay To Make Fun Of Them, But [celebrities] Have Also Gotten Very Conscious About Social Media, Kind Of Like The Catholic Church In The 1500s.

I Am A Big Ellen Fan. I Have Been One For Quite A Long Time Now. I Used To Do The Local News Talk Shows With Her In San Francisco, When We Were Both Still Kids.

That We Are Selfish Gives Us The Opportunity To Gain The Power So That, In Time, We Might Be Selfless. To Give Back What We Have Learned. To Teach What We Know, And Shorten The Journey For Those Who Will Come After Us.

Sex In General, For Me, Is A Lot Of Different Aspects Of Humanity, Not Just My Relationships. It's My Relationship To Myself And My Body.

I Have 3 Dogs Myself - I Actually Have A Kennel License In Order To Do So. I Love Them So Much I Couldn't Imagine My Life Without Them.

I Was Crazy About The Song "doot Doot," So I Usually Love This Genre Of Weird, European Electronic.

There's Vulnerability - So I Have To Make Sure The Audience Is Certain That I Know What I'm Doing. There's Vulnerability There Because My Heart Is Open, But At The Same Time I Definitely Have A Lot Of "weapons" At My Disposal. I Have All The Language, I Have All Of The Moment - I Have All Of That To Spar With Somebody, To Take Anything On.

A Lot Of The Actresses Who Were Around When I Started, I Don't Know Where They Are. Comics Stick Around.

Why Can't All Different Types Of Women Be Considered Beautiful? Why Can't We Can't We All Be Considered Possible Love Interests?

I Always Wonder Why Republicans Hate Gay Marriage, Because They Certainly Don't Hate Gay Prostitutes.

Now On Facebook I Have All These 'friends' Who Used To Bully Me, And They're Like, 'we're So Proud! We Love You!' They Come To Shows And Want To Take A Picture, And They're Like, 'don't You Remember Us?' And I'm Like, 'i'm Sorry, I Don't.' And I Feel Bad, But I Feel Good.

Things That Are In "bad Taste" Are Often Renegade And Rebellious. They Go Against The Status Quo, And The Laws Of Decorum And Modesty. And That Can Be Really Thrilling.

If You're A Songwriter, You Want To Write A Song Like "oh Yeah" That Radically Shifts Everything. You Can Definitely Retire On That Song. You Want To Have Something You Can Put In Your Songbook That Everybody Can Recognize, Whether It's A Good Or Bad Thing.

I Think That Gay People Should Have The Right To Get Married By Elvis Like Everybody Else.

I Think That Sometimes People [who Overreact Or Lash Out] Will Hang On To Their Point Just Because They're So Embarrassed That They Made It. They Won't Set It Down Because They Are The Authors Of These [disproportionate Responses] And They Have A Lot To Be Embarrassed About.

Sometimes When We Are Generous In Small, Barely Detectable Ways It Can Change Someone Else's Life Forever.

I'm Not A Body Shamer. The Word Fat Has Been Used To Hurt Me My Entire Life.

Being Called Ugly And Fat And Disgusting To Look At From The Time I Could Barely Understand What The Words Meant Has Scarred Me So Deep Inside That I Have Learned To Hunt, Stalk, Claim, Own And Defend My Own Loveliness.

My Life Is Anything But Typical.

I Think I Started Out Okay But With Aids Came A Great Deal Of Silence About Gayness And This Period Of Lose And Morning, But At The Same Time A Kind Of Feeling Like You Wanted To Get Back Into The Closet Because Being Gay Was Such A Terrible Thing At That Point.

I Refer To Myself As Gay, But I’m Married To A Man.

You Don't Become A Republican Until You Lose All Your Baby Teeth And Fall Down A Lot And Get The Croup And Then Become Angry And Bitter.

Sometimes The Only Way To Deal With Horrific Things In Life Is Through A Dark Sense Of Humor.

My Family Has Been Deeply Affected By The Split Of Korea, Which Divided It In Half, Basically, Before I Was Born. There's No Way To Connect With My Family Now Who Are In North Korea Because It's So Isolated. We Don't Even Know Who Is Still There And Who Is Alive, And If They Are, What They Are Doing. Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle This Totalitarianism.

I Could Never Make A Joke About Somebody Unless I Could Say It To Their Face And They'd Laugh.

I Really (became) Very Independent. I Was Start(ed) To Write One-woman Shows And Mak(e) Films And To Me I Think I Really Felt Like My Choice (was) More Important Than Any Kind Of Career Goal.

I Want Jesus To Come Back And Say 'thats Not What I Meant'" -

Korean Children Get A Lot Of Fuss Made Over Them, I Guess Because Life Was Tough In The Old Country, And It Was A Big Deal If You Survived. There's A Big Party Thrown When You Are 100 Days Old, Followed By Another When You Make It To One Whole Year.

If We Have The Opportunity To Be Generous With Our Hearts, Ourselves, We Have No Idea Of The Depth And Breadth Of Love's Reach.

I Think Reality Television Is Such A Special Talent.

It's Not The Best Between My Family And Me. There Are So Many Crimes Left Unpunished, Debts Unpaid, White Elephants In The Middle Of The Room That No One Will Even Offer A Peanut To. We Are In The Red, Emotionally Speaking.

I Am So Beautiful, Sometimes People Weep When They See Me. And It Has Nothing To Do With What I Look Like Really, It Is Just That I Gave Myself The Power To Say That I Am Beautiful, And If I Could Do That, Maybe There Is Hope For Them Too. And The Great Divide Between The Beautiful And The Ugly Will Cease To Be. Because We Are All What We Choose.

My History In Show Business Spans Over A Quarter Of A Century, And I Have Seen Many People In The Industry Struggle With Coming Out, Only To Find Much More Success After They Finally Did.

Love Is The Big Booming Beat Which Covers Up The Noise Of Hate.

I Voice My Opinions On Social Media And I Have People Threatening Me With Violence. It Is Troubling But I Can Fight Back, Which Is Good.

I Think The Best Way To Get Over Your Body Issues Is To Just Flaunt Your Body At Every Opportunity.

I Love Tattooed Women, Maybe Because They Are Uncontrollable, They Are Themselves To The Point Of Drawing Symbols Of Their Power On Their Skin. Talk About Owning Your Own Body, Being In Your Body, Claiming Yourself. I Love It. When The World Is In An Uproar Over Whether Women Should Have A Choice Or Not When It Comes To Their Own Bodies, Being Tattooed Is One Of The Most Visible Choices Of All.

I Don't Understand The Whole Christian Conservativism Doesn't Make Sense To Me Because I Was Raised Very Christian And Its Kind Of An Odd Thing But My Parents, My Family Is Also Very Conservative In Their Own Way But I Understand The Bible And I Studied Christianity Very Well And I Don't See Where The Hatred Of Gays Comes From Because It Really Defeats Christ's Purpose.

Kim Kardashian Is A Kind Of Archetype. But She Owns Her Beauty And Is Tremendously Successful. There's No Tragedy, There's No Drug Story. There's Just Her And Her Fame And Her Beauty. But Anna Nicole Created That Template Of Somebody That You'd Want To Watch On Reality Tv. Somebody That You'd Want To Invite Into Your Home Or As A Role Model, In Terms Of Beauty And Lifestyle And Glamour.

That It Is Not The People Who Really Feel That Way, But It Is People Who Have The Most Money To Fire Up These Propaganda Campaigns, These Like, Basically These Lies That They Are Willing To Lie To The Public In Order To Manipulate Them Into Doing What They Want. And To Me It Doesn't Make Any Sense.

I Grew Up A Witness To Gay Politics In Its Early Days. I Remember Seeing Harvey Milk And Been Moved By Him.

Comedy Is A Noble Art. And Every Comedian Who Does Anything Is Serving A Noble Purpose.

It's Okay For You To Have Relationships, But It's Not Okay To Talk About Them. It's Not Okay To Be Out Or To Be Public About It. It's Not Okay To Be Photographed With Your Partner.

It's Completely Unsexy [yello, "oh Yeah" 1985]. It Does Capture That Weird '80s Materialism And "we're Gonna Get It On Now" Vibe. But It's A Very Juvenile Approach. It Also Became A Weird Signal For Comedy, In The Sense That When You Heard The Song, It Meant Comedy Was Happening On Screen. I Feel Like This Song Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio.

It's Always Considered Bad Taste To Comment On A Tragedy Right When It's Happening, But I Love When Something Is Considered Too Soon To Talk About Because Then You Can Blast Past That Social Censorship To Get Into Something Real.

Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected.

Grow Up And Let Anyone Try To Content With The Adult You.

I Feel Sorry For Anyone That I Am Obsessed With. I Am Worse Than Gum In Your Hair, Very, Very Close To The Roots.

As A Woman Of Color You Have Little More Permission To Go Deeper And Question Things Because Your Identity, In A Way, Is A Shield. But If You Come At It From A Minority Status, My Person, Who I Am, Softens The Blow Of Whatever It Is That I'm Saying, Because I Am That.

If You Have Sex, It Should Be For You, Not For The Other Person.

Comedy Is Quite A Difficult Place For Queers And For Women.

You Have To Adhere To A Certain Morality, A Certain Level Of Decorum, Or Else You'll Be Punished And Labeled.

I'm Super-obsessed With 'intervention.' I Wrote A Song About It.

My Mother Goes Crazy Over Babies. Some People Just Do. They Love 'em! I Never Have. Babies Scare Me More Than Anything. They're Tiny And Fragile And Impressionable - And Someone Else's! As Much As I Hate Borrowing Stuff, That Is How Much I Hate Holding Other People's Babies. It's Too Much Responsibility.

My Former Bullies Pay Extra To Come Backstage And Meet Me After Shows, And I Pretend Not To Know Them In Front Of Their Friends. It Is The Most Divine Pleasure To Exact The Revenge Of The Brutalized Child That Resides Within.

I've Spent So Much Time Feeling Ugly And Being Treated As Ugly As A Result. But I Changed My Attitude And Said, “i’m Beautiful Because I Love Everybody As Much As I Can. I’m Beautiful Because I Have Wonderful Friends. And I’m Beautiful Because I Say I Am. I’ve Earned It, And I’m Gonna Be It.

Wonderful Friends

Sexual Fulfillment Goals, To Make Them Happen, You Have To Work On Them As A Project. I Don't Think It's A Bad Thing.

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form.

Snooki Is Really Beautiful And Looks Quite Like Elizabeth Taylor In 'cleopatra.' She Has The Same Bone Structure. I'm Kind Of Obsessed With 'jersey Shore.' People Don't Give Them Enough Credit For How Entertaining They Are.

I Can't Drag Myself Away From 'final Cut Pro.' It Is A Digital Video Editing System. I Am Obsessed With It, But I Am Always Away From Home, And I Can't Use It.

I Love Fashion, I'm Actually A Pretty Talented Seamstress, So I Can Make Stuff For Myself, But That's Really Time-consuming.

In America, I'm A Foreigner Because Of My Korean Heritage. In Asia, Because I Was Born In America, I'm A Foreigner. I'm Always A Foreigner.

People Like Sean Penn, He Is Someone That Is Politically Progressive And Yet Is Still At The Top Of His Game In The Industry. So I Love That He Is Out There Just Virtually Shaming All The People That Voted For Prop 8. He Was A Really Great Example Of A Straight Ally, Someone Who Used His Talent And Used His Ability To Further Our Cause, Not Just For Political Progressiveness But Also Specifically For Gay Marriage And Specifically For Harvey Milk's Entire Life.

As A Child, I Had A Lot Of Older Gay Men Taking Care Of Me. There's A Trust There. I Feel Like Little Girls And Old Gay Men Together - There's A Safety. They Make A Shield From All Of The Bad Things They've Experienced In The World. They Make A Home Together. There Are No Songs About That. I Don't Know If You Remember, But There Was A Show A Long Time Ago Called 'love, Sidney.'

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