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It's Okay For You To Have Relationships, But It's Not Okay To Talk About Them. It's Not Okay To Be Out Or To Be Public About It. It's Not Okay To Be Photographed With Your Partner.

-Margaret Cho

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It's Okay For You

Margaret Cho

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It's Okay For You To Have Relationships, But It's Not Okay To Talk About Them. It's Not Okay To Be Out Or To Be Public About It. It's Not Okay To Be Photographed With Your Partner.

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No Wonder All The Great Comedians Had Such Destructive Private Lives. ... After You Get The Audience Into That Kind Of Frenzy, And You Are Being Worshiped Like The False Idol You Are, How Do You Leave The Stage And Transition Back Into Real Life? ... What Is There Left To Do But Set Yourself On Fire?

As A Child, I Had A Lot Of Older Gay Men Taking Care Of Me. There's A Trust There. I Feel Like Little Girls And Old Gay Men Together - There's A Safety. They Make A Shield From All Of The Bad Things They've Experienced In The World. They Make A Home Together. There Are No Songs About That. I Don't Know If You Remember, But There Was A Show A Long Time Ago Called 'love, Sidney.'

As A Woman Of Color You Have Little More Permission To Go Deeper And Question Things Because Your Identity, In A Way, Is A Shield. But If You Come At It From A Minority Status, My Person, Who I Am, Softens The Blow Of Whatever It Is That I'm Saying, Because I Am That.

People Are Really Terrified Of Me. I Don't Know Why, I'm Very Nice, But People Are Very Intimidated By Me.

In Some Places It's Actually Very Ok To Be Homophobic.

Comedy Was The Key To Everything. I Grew Up Fast And Controlled My Future By Bringing It On Faster Than It Naturally Unfolded. I Cheated Myself Out Of A Childhood But Then Got A Running Headstart Into Adulthood That No One Else Could Keep Up With.

Interventions Are Really Emotionally Exhausting And I Would Never Ever Want To Have One. In The Same Way, I Would Never Want To Have A Surprise Birthday Party. That Would Be Horrible.

If You Really Care About Children Then Why Would You Want To Keep Families From Adopting Them?

When We're Talking About Feminism, I Get Sort Of Lost In The Argument. Because As A Woman Of Color, I Don't Know Where I Belong In This Argument. Where Do I Say, 'i Would Be Happy To Have Less Money'? How Do You Fight For Your Rights When I'm Super-grateful To Be Here At All?

Humanity Is A Natural Foil For Inhumanity, And Humanity Is What Will Ultimately Keep Us Going When All Else Has Failed.

I Knew I Was Crazy Because I Was Watching Jesus Christ Superstar And The Part Where Jesus Carries The Cross Up The Mountain, I Actually Said To Myself, "wow! That Must Be A Really Good Workout! Yeah, Because You're Doing Arms And Cardio!"

People Like Sean Penn, He Is Someone That Is Politically Progressive And Yet Is Still At The Top Of His Game In The Industry. So I Love That He Is Out There Just Virtually Shaming All The People That Voted For Prop 8. He Was A Really Great Example Of A Straight Ally, Someone Who Used His Talent And Used His Ability To Further Our Cause, Not Just For Political Progressiveness But Also Specifically For Gay Marriage And Specifically For Harvey Milk's Entire Life.

And If The Problem [with Contraception] Is Promiscuity, Then Why Does The Immense Popularity Of Viagra Go Unchecked? Doesn't It Make More Sense To Leave The Bullets Out Of The Gun Than To Try To Avoid Being Shot? Especially When The Gun Is An Old Musket, And You Have To Clean It Out And Tamp Down Gunpowder, Melt Down Scraps Of Lead And Pour It Into A Mold, Wait For It To Cool - Only To Have It Take Forever To Finally Go Off?

Try To Love Someone Who You Want To Hate, Because They Are Just Like You, Somewhere Inside, In A Way You May Never Expect, In A Way That Resounds So Deeply Within You That You Cannot Believe It.

My Mother Goes Crazy Over Babies. Some People Just Do. They Love 'em! I Never Have. Babies Scare Me More Than Anything. They're Tiny And Fragile And Impressionable - And Someone Else's! As Much As I Hate Borrowing Stuff, That Is How Much I Hate Holding Other People's Babies. It's Too Much Responsibility.

Kim Kardashian Is A Kind Of Archetype. But She Owns Her Beauty And Is Tremendously Successful. There's No Tragedy, There's No Drug Story. There's Just Her And Her Fame And Her Beauty. But Anna Nicole Created That Template Of Somebody That You'd Want To Watch On Reality Tv. Somebody That You'd Want To Invite Into Your Home Or As A Role Model, In Terms Of Beauty And Lifestyle And Glamour.

George Bush Isn't Hitler. He Could Be If He Applied Himself.

I Got Back From Toronto, Where They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.

I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

We Women Are Constantly At War With Our Bodies, It Is Hard To Find Amnesty For Ourselves.

I Think White People Like To Tell Asian People How They Should Feel About Race Because They're Too Scared To Tell Black People.

I Didn't Appreciate The Young Woman That I Was, Or My Young Beauty, Because I Was So Obsessed With The Fact That I Felt Fat. It's Never Good To Add To Anybody Else's Suffering. It's An Important Topic To Really Get The Gravity And The Importance Of - Dealing With Dignity.

It’s Like Your Batteries Get Low, And You Need To Charge Them On Someone Else’s Story.

I Use My Work As Catharsis. That's Often The Best Thing That We Can Do, Is To Allow Ourselves To Rage Because It's So Rare That We Get To. We're Told To Forgive - I Don't Want To! I Don't Want To Forgive My Abuser! I Don't Care To And I Don't Like That Assumption That Forgiveness Makes Me A Better Person. It's Not Authentic To Me, My Feelings And What I Need. But Everyone Has Their Own Way.

I Am In Love With Counting Crows. It Is So Manly And American.

I Had Been Taking Various Lessons. I've Also Had A Lot Of Incredible Singers Give Me A Ton Of Great Advice. From Cyndi Lauper, Who Kind Of Taught Me The Basics, And I've Also Worked With Bird. She's A Tremendous Coach And She Often Coaches The Contestants On 'american Idol.' I've Had A Great Amount Of Support.

It's Completely Unsexy [yello, "oh Yeah" 1985]. It Does Capture That Weird '80s Materialism And "we're Gonna Get It On Now" Vibe. But It's A Very Juvenile Approach. It Also Became A Weird Signal For Comedy, In The Sense That When You Heard The Song, It Meant Comedy Was Happening On Screen. I Feel Like This Song Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio.

Silence Equals Nonexistence. If I Don't Raise My Voice, It's Like I Never Existed.

Silence Is So Often Applauded And Those Who Speak Out Are Often Called Tasteless.

Maybe I Wanted To Hear It So Badly That My Ears Betrayed My Mind In Order To Secure My Heart.

I Have A Song About How Much I Hate Emojis And The Lazy Thinking Of People Who Use Them. I Wish That More People Had Respect For The English Language.

My Life Is Anything But Typical.

My Parents Are Very Funny When They Have To Deal With Anything Racy Or Off-color. They Usually Pretend They Don't Speak English.

I Think The Best Way To Get Over Your Body Issues Is To Just Flaunt Your Body At Every Opportunity.

I Think That Gay People Should Have The Right To Get Married By Elvis Like Everybody Else.

If You Say You're Not A Feminist, You're Almost Denying Your Own Existence.

I Can't Drag Myself Away From 'final Cut Pro.' It Is A Digital Video Editing System. I Am Obsessed With It, But I Am Always Away From Home, And I Can't Use It.

I Don't Like Catchphrases Either. A Current One Would Be, "bye, Felicia." It's Used So Much That We Don't Even Know The Origin Anymore.

I Feel Like This Song [yello, "oh Yeah"] Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio. There Was Probably No Thought Behind It; They Were Just Playing With Some Samples And Threw It Together. I Feel Like There's No Dream Behind The Song. Usually There's A Dream Or Some Kind Of Passion Attached To A Song. This Song Feels Very Empty. It Made A Lot Of Money For The Songwriters But At The Expense Of Culture.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. We Cannot Change Anything Until We Accept That. I Cannot Do This Alone. I Don't Love Myself Enough To Do It Alone, But I Can Do It If We Have A Pact, If I Am Keeping Up My End Of The Bargain. I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

Politics Has Less To Do With Where You Live Than Where Your Heart Is.

I Went To A Performance-art High School, And A Teacher There Was Signing Me Up For Open-mic Nights At The Comedy Club. I Think About It Now, And I Think, 'well, That May Be Inappropriate,' But It Was Great!'

Most Conservatives Also Believe In The Death Penalty, But Not Abortion, Which Proves They Like To Procrastinate.

I Love Fashion, I'm Actually A Pretty Talented Seamstress, So I Can Make Stuff For Myself, But That's Really Time-consuming.

I Don't Understand The Whole Christian Conservativism Doesn't Make Sense To Me Because I Was Raised Very Christian And Its Kind Of An Odd Thing But My Parents, My Family Is Also Very Conservative In Their Own Way But I Understand The Bible And I Studied Christianity Very Well And I Don't See Where The Hatred Of Gays Comes From Because It Really Defeats Christ's Purpose.

I Don't Want To Bring Myself Down To Place Where There Are Hard And Fast Rules. In General I Try To Be Compassionate, But That Is Dependent On The Moment Ultimately.

One Of My First Jobs Was On A Lesbian Cruise. I Was The Ship Comedian For The Lesbian Love Boat.

It's Important To Feel Beautiful; It's Political To Feel Beautiful.

Monogamy Is So Weird. Like When You Know Their Name And Stuff.

The Label Of Tasteful Or Tasteless Is So Often Used To Silence People And To Maintain The Status Quo. It's Used To Shame People For Not Following The Commonly Accepted Routine, For Not Aligning Themselves With The Status Quo.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. ... I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form. Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected. If I'm Angry About Something I Will Try To Think About Something Funny About It To Lighten The Load Of The Anger And Cope With The Anger.

You Don't Become A Republican Until You Lose All Your Baby Teeth And Fall Down A Lot And Get The Croup And Then Become Angry And Bitter.

Where Do People Get Off Telling People What To Do? It's Their Bodies. If You Legalized Sex Work And Legally Protected The Sex Workers, You Wouldn't See Anything Like Human Trafficking. All Of That Would Be Obliterated.

People Are So Sensitive About Race That They Can't Hear Someone Speaking About Their Life In A Very True Way, Or Doing Satire Or Political Parody.

I Am A Big Ellen Fan. I Have Been One For Quite A Long Time Now. I Used To Do The Local News Talk Shows With Her In San Francisco, When We Were Both Still Kids.

When It Comes To Children, My Mom Doesn't Believe In Borders. She Loves All Children, And That's A Good Example Of Mothering The World. I Need To Do That, But Before I Can, I Need To Get Over My Fear Of Kids In The First Place.

Just Because You Are Blind And Unable To See My Beauty Doesn't Mean It Does Not Exist.

Your Goal Is To Write That Masterpiece. Yello's Masterpiece Was "oh Yeah." Whatever I Say About The Song Doesn't Matter, Because It Has A Huge Impact On How We Remember The Era.

My Boyfriend And I Live Together, Which Means We Don't Have Sex - Ever. Now That The Milk Is Free, We've Both Become Lactose Intolerant.

I Think I Started Out Okay But With Aids Came A Great Deal Of Silence About Gayness And This Period Of Lose And Morning, But At The Same Time A Kind Of Feeling Like You Wanted To Get Back Into The Closet Because Being Gay Was Such A Terrible Thing At That Point.

Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected.

I Think I Heard It [ Ferris Bueller's Day Off ] Earlier. This Was Being Played On A Station In San Francisco Called Live 105, Which Was A New Wave Station. It Was One Of The First Stations To Change Its Format In The Early '80s. There Was This Wave Of Really Strange Music Coming From Europe Like Kraftwork And Freur.

In The Early '90s, There Was Such A Limited Idea Of What You Could See On Tv.

The First Thing You Lose On A Diet Is Brain Mass.

Inspirational Weight Loss

Now On Facebook I Have All These 'friends' Who Used To Bully Me, And They're Like, 'we're So Proud! We Love You!' They Come To Shows And Want To Take A Picture, And They're Like, 'don't You Remember Us?' And I'm Like, 'i'm Sorry, I Don't.' And I Feel Bad, But I Feel Good.

This Was An Era Where I Was Going Out Every Night Seeing Sparks, Berlin, Duran Duran, And Split Enz. Amazing Acts Doing Really Weird Stuff, And I Was Very Open To Music And Letting It Transform Me.

In America, I'm A Foreigner Because Of My Korean Heritage. In Asia, Because I Was Born In America, I'm A Foreigner. I'm Always A Foreigner.

We Must Know Who We Are, So We Can Know What We Want, So We Don't End Up Wanting The Wrong Thing And Get It And Realize We Don't Want It, Because By Then It's Too Late. We Are Powerful Enough That We Can Manifest Anything Into Our Lives. To Use This Power With Great Care And Love Is The Secret To Living A Happy Life.

My Philosophy Is, "murder The Rapist In Your Mind So You Stop Killing Yourself." I've Seen, In My Lifetime, That Sexual Abuse Has Turned Into Self-abuse. When I Kill The Rapist Inside Of Me, I Will Stop Killing Myself.

All The Songs On Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Are The Encapsulation Of Heterosexual Love. I Have Different Records For Gay Sex.

I Was Crazy About The Song "doot Doot," So I Usually Love This Genre Of Weird, European Electronic.

If You're A Songwriter, You Want To Write A Song Like "oh Yeah" That Radically Shifts Everything. You Can Definitely Retire On That Song. You Want To Have Something You Can Put In Your Songbook That Everybody Can Recognize, Whether It's A Good Or Bad Thing.

If I'm Talking To A Guy Who's Straight And Cute And Single, I'm Like 'are You A Unicorn?'

[an Article About Cho] Started Out, "funny, Sexy, Zaftig Margaret Cho..." What Is "zaftig?" Isn't That German For "big Fat Pig?" I Guess I Was Lucky - "zaftig" Is Kind Of A Nice Word. It Could Have Been, "funny, Sexy, Obese Margaret Cho."

Something As Important As Marriage Equality, Which Is Now A Constitutional Right [in The Usa], Is Something That Cannot Be Denied. It's Also Very Un-christian, If You Think About The Way Christ Was And Christ's Teachings. This Is Not Loving. This Is Anger. This Is Hatred. This Is Bigotry. And It's Wrong.

Its Funny Because When I Did Feel Like I Came Out And I Just Felt Like I Was Being Truthful To Myself, (it Was At) That Point I Became Very Successful. So You Know, It Took A True Kind Of Facing That Truth Of Myself And Being Honest, That Was When The Real Kind Of Fame Or Whatever That Kind Of Stuff Happened For Me.

If Public Figures Came Out Of The Closet, Then The Lgbt Kids Who Saw Them On Tv Would Feel Safe, Before They Even Knew Why They Felt Dangerous. Maybe If Enough People Came Out Of The Closet, Gay Kids Would Never Feel Dangerous. Maybe We Could Have A World Where We Could All Just Live. We May Not All Agree, But Why Can't We Just All Live?

I'm Super-obsessed With 'intervention.' I Wrote A Song About It.

Try To Put Your Happiness Before Anyone Else's, Because You May Never Have Done So In Your Entire Life, If You Really Think About It, If You Are Really Honest With Yourself.

My Attitude Toward Peace Does Not Depend On Which War We Are Discussing. I Think That Words Should Do The Work Of Bombs.

I Have 3 Dogs Myself - I Actually Have A Kennel License In Order To Do So. I Love Them So Much I Couldn't Imagine My Life Without Them.

I Don't Like To Criticize Music And I Had A Really Hard Time Picking Out The Song I Hate For This Because I End Up Seeing And Working With Musicians All The Time.

A Few Words About ‘trannychasing.’ I Am Not A Trannychaser. Ok, Actually I Am A Trannychaser. No I Am Not. I Am A Trannycatcher! Just Kidding!

I Do Love The Road, Because For Me, The Road Is Very Comfortable, And It's Very Much What I've Always Wanted To Do. It's One Of The Most Appealing Things About Comedy For Me, So I Do Really Have An Affection For It.

I Am Star-struck But Also I've Known A Lot Of People For A Long Time. Like I'm Super Star-struck By Grant Lee Phillips And Jon Brion But I've Known Them For 17 Years. So It's Kinda Like Weird To Be Star-struck Still, But I Still Am!

Sexual Fulfillment Goals, To Make Them Happen, You Have To Work On Them As A Project. I Don't Think It's A Bad Thing.

I Always Thought That People Told You That You're Beautiful-that This Was A Title That Was Bestowed Upon You. [...] I Think That It's Time To Take This Power Into Our Own Hands And To Say, "you Know What? I'm Beautiful. I Just Am. And That's My Light. I'm Just A Beautiful Woman."

My Parents Never Really Had That Much Money, So I Kind Of Live In The Same World That They Do.

I Don't Have Children, And I Am Not Sure If I Have Wanted Them Or Never Wanted Them. It's Weird Not To Be Able To Decide. I Don't Know If I Could Stand That Kind Of Commitment, Or If I Am Really Honest, I Don't Think That I Could Handle Being That Vulnerable To Someone Else.

To Be A Feminist Is To Be Alive.

It's Not The Best Between My Family And Me. There Are So Many Crimes Left Unpunished, Debts Unpaid, White Elephants In The Middle Of The Room That No One Will Even Offer A Peanut To. We Are In The Red, Emotionally Speaking.

Korean Children Get A Lot Of Fuss Made Over Them, I Guess Because Life Was Tough In The Old Country, And It Was A Big Deal If You Survived. There's A Big Party Thrown When You Are 100 Days Old, Followed By Another When You Make It To One Whole Year.

Since I Became A Dancer, I Have Felt Much Better About Myself.

We Should Retain Our Anger In The Face Of Injustice And Not Be Shamed By That.

If We Have The Opportunity To Be Generous With Our Hearts, Ourselves, We Have No Idea Of The Depth And Breadth Of Love's Reach.

I Am Always Writing No Matter What I Am Doing And No Matter What It Is For.

When I Do An Asian Character Or An Asian Voice I'm Doing One Because That's My Heritage And My Family And Where I Come From. My Family Is Of Korean Descent And Specifically North Korean Descent. So It Makes Sense For Me To Talk About That Issue Because It's The Only Weapon I Have To Somehow Avenge My Family And My History.

I Get A Lot From Great '90s Artists Like Juliana Hatfield, The Pixies, And Bands Like That Dog And The Breeders.

Privacy And Security Are Those Things You Give Up When You Show The World What Makes You Extraordinary.

I Love New York. I Love Working Here.

I Love New York

Being Called Ugly And Fat And Disgusting To Look At From The Time I Could Barely Understand What The Words Meant Has Scarred Me So Deep Inside That I Have Learned To Hunt, Stalk, Claim, Own And Defend My Own Loveliness.

I Was In Toronto When They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. I Was In The Airport And There Were These Big Snowboarder Guys And They Had White Masks Around Their Necks, And As Soon As They Saw Me, They Put Their Masks On. So I Went "cough, Cough, Cough... You Wanna Egg Rorr?

I Taught Sunday School For Two Years. And I Got Fired. I Abused My Authority. I Used To Teach Class Like This, "ok, If One More Person Talks, Everybody Is Going To Hell."

I Love Drugs, But I Hate Hangovers, And The Hatred Of The Hangover Wins By A Landslide Every Time.

I Will Never Stop Complaining.

Stop Complaining

Thankfully, Beauty Is Easier To Remove Than Apply, And A Swipe Of Demaquillage In The Right Direction And You Are You Once Again.

Right Direction

If You Are A Woman, If You Are A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World.

I Always Felt Like An Outsider Growing Up. In School, I Felt Like I Never Fit In. But It Didn't Help When My Mother, Instead Of Buying Me Glue For School Projects, Would Tell Me To Just Use Rice.

I Don't Want To Hurt Anybody Because Of Their Looks. That's Been Used To Hurt Me So Much.

Comedy Was All I Ever Wanted.

The Stuff I Do And Say Onstage I Can Do Easily. As A Performer, That Comes Easily. But Being Social Offstage, It's Not Easy For Me.

If You Are A Woman, If You're A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are A Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World. And It's Going To Be Really Hard To Find Messages Of Self-love And Support Anywhere. Especially Women's And Gay Men's Culture. It's All About How You Have To Look A Certain Way, Or Else You're Worthless... For Us To Have Self-esteem Is Truly An Act Of Revolution, And Our Revolution Is Long Overdue.

Try To Have A Good Day Today, Wherever You Are, Whatever You Do, Whoever Is Near, If No One Is Near. Try To Be Happy, Because You May Not See Tomorrow. There Is Someone This Morning, Who Didn't Wake Up, Who Will Never See This Day. Try To Feel Lucky That This Is Not You.

I Am Into Belly Dancing. I Used To Only Hang With Comics. Now I Have Friends Who Are Dancers, And My Whole House Has A Harem Feel.

I Was Lucky. I Always Had Really Great Friends In My Personal Life, People Always Just Knew Who I Was. It Wasn't Until I Was In Show Business Where That Sort Of Changed Or Shifted At First. I Have Always Had A Great Support Network. I Have Had A Lot Of Really Wonderful, Close Friends.

I Thought I Was So Ugly For So Long, And I Wasted So Much Of My Life On This Dumb Notion.

I’m Not Playing The Race Card. I’m Playing The Rice Card.

When I Was 14, I Told My Mother I Was Going To Drop Out Of High School And Go Do Stand-up Comedy. All She Said Was 'oh Maybe It's Better If You Just Die,' Because It Was Killing Her That I Was Doing This.

That's The Nature Of Comedy. You Always Want To Be Improving And Growing And Changing With What's Happening In The World. That's When Comedy Is Most Effective.

I Think That All Bodies Are Beautiful In Millions Of Different Ways But I Get Down On Myself Too!

I Mean, What's Great About Touring Is That's What You Do. You're In A Constant State Of Motion And Then You Stop To Do A Show And You Move Onto The Next City. All You Have To Do Is Do The Show. That's The Only Responsibility That You Have.

There's This Idea Like Feminism Is Humorless And Humorless In A Way That's Like A Whistleblower. Like You're Going To - You're Going To Make Sure That Nobody Has Any Fun. And That's Not True At All. I Think Feminism Allows Me To Do What I Do, And I'm So Grateful To The Idea Of It And Grateful To All The Women That Came Before.

It's Always Considered Bad Taste To Comment On A Tragedy Right When It's Happening, But I Love When Something Is Considered Too Soon To Talk About Because Then You Can Blast Past That Social Censorship To Get Into Something Real.

A Lot Of The Actresses Who Were Around When I Started, I Don't Know Where They Are. Comics Stick Around.

My Father Tried To Get Me To Be Around Gay People A Lot When I Was Young. He Owned A Gay Bookstore And It Had A Lot Of Gay Literature And Art Books And He Wanted Me To Be Taken Care Of By The Young Gays And Lesbians Who Worked For Him.

It's Hard To Find Peace With Your Thighs, But When They Chafe, Try To Be Grateful For Them. Your Thighs Let You Run And Get You Where You Want To Go. I Have Not Just Thigh Peace But Thigh Happiness, And It Begins With Thigh Gratitude.

When People Think The World Of You, Be Careful With Them.

Things That Are In "bad Taste" Are Often Renegade And Rebellious. They Go Against The Status Quo, And The Laws Of Decorum And Modesty. And That Can Be Really Thrilling.

I Loved Everything. I Read Everything. Art And Poetry And Literature And Trash And Sci Fi. I Didn't Know What I Would Become Yet And I Needed To Read To Figure It Out.

I Think Sex Is Really About The Self, And Really A Self-reflection.

I Think It Is Time For All Babies To Let Us Know Who They Want For President.

I Have So Much Hate That It Has Turned Into Love.

Anything Vince Clarke, Whether It's Erasure, Yaz, Or Depeche Mode. It's Basically R&b With Synths. It's Very Sexy Music And Perfect For Gay Sex.

I've Always Wanted To Have Tattoos. I Grew Up Around People Who Were Very Tattooed. It's A Self-expression Thing; It's Also Helped Me Claim My Body As My Own. So I Think It's Really Positive. It's Really Joyful.

When You Feel Powerful, You Are Willing To Stand Up For Your Rights, You Are Willing To Stand Up For What You Believe In, You're More Willing To Stand Up And Be Counted.

I'm Lucky That I Have Good Genetics. Like You Said, It Just Gets Better As I Get Older.

The Newest Victims Of The Nation's Foreclosure Crisis Are Pets, Which Is Extremely Distressing To Me.

Some People Are That - More Than A Parent, More Than A Role Model, More Than Anything Less Than A Religion.

I Helped Deliver One Of My Best Friend's Children. I Just Was So Amazed By My Friend, Because She Was Not Just A Woman, She Was Not Just A Mother. At That Moment She Was Creation; She Was Life; She Was God. And As I Looked In Her Eyes, Boom! Her Pussy Exploded.

Like The Birth Of Venus, The Song [yello "oh, Yeah"] Denotes The Birth Of The Bro. The Song Just Reminds Me Of Bros Looking Out Over Lowered Ray-bans. It Birthed A Negative Sexual Revolution. I Was Going To A Lot Of Bondage Clubs At The Time And They Did Play This Song. The Song I Associate More Is That Horrible Enigma Song With The Gregorian Chant. There's Something Good Buried In That Song And I Might Not Hate It As Much If I Hadn't Been A Sex Worker.

Often Something That Is In Bad Taste Or Considered To Be In Bad Taste Is Something That's Just Very True But That People Are Unwilling To Discuss Or Comment On.

You Have To Constantly Recreate Yourself In Show Business, Which Is A Very Fast Thing, Especially Now With The Tremendous Speed Of Social Media. There Are So Many Personalities, So Many Different Kinds Of Comedy That You Can Access, So It’s Definitely Important To Stake Your Claim And Say Who You Are.

The Power Of Visibility Can Never Be Underestimated.

I'm Really Bad With Trolls Because I Have A Lot Of Really Intense Friends Who Are Not Necessarily Doing Things So Legally. If I Get Trolled, [my Friends Will Send Me] An Email With The Person's Social Security Number, Phone Number, Pictures Of His Family, His Business, His Spouse. I See This Person In His Totality, And I Feel So Bad. I Shouldn't Have That Power.

Sometimes When We Are Generous In Small, Barely Detectable Ways It Can Change Someone Else's Life Forever.

I Love Wilco's "i'm The Man Who Loves You." Nels Cline Has That Weird Guitar Slide At The Beginning And The Song Is Whispered Actually.

Tattooing Is My Social Life, Too, So Most Of My Time Is Taken Up With That. People Like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis At Everlasting Tattoo.

To Start Telling People That You're Beautiful, Or Just Feel Beautiful, Just Start Acting Like You Are The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. And It Really Improves Everything! Because Your Sort Of Psyche Responds To It - Like This Is Truthful!

I Don't Think I'm Gay. I Don't Think I'm Straight. I Think I'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

[fur] Is Really Ridiculous. It's Outrageous. We're Not Living In Igloos. We Don't Need To Trade Pelts Anymore. There Is This Diabolical Idea That Fur Is Fashionable. It's Not. It's Death. There's No Excuse For It.

I'm Taking A Lot Of My Favorite Artists, Different People, My Favorite Music And Marrying That With What I Do As A Comic. It's Very Collaborative, Arty, Fun And Cool.

I've Always Been An Ajumma, But When You Get Older, The Culture We Were Brought Up In Works In Our Favor Where Aging Is Good, Combatting The Hollywood Idea That Aging Is Bad. I'm Very Grateful For That.

There's Lot Of Social Censorship Now, Especially In This Era Of Ubiquitous Social Media.

The Best Tattooists Are In San Francisco, And They're Kind Of Like My Family Now. I'm Always Excited To Come Back To San Francisco.

I Have Learned To Love That Which Is Meant To Harm Me, So That I Can Stand In The Way Of Those Who Are Less Strong. I Can Take The Bullets For Those Who Aren't Able To.

My History In Show Business Spans Over A Quarter Of A Century, And I Have Seen Many People In The Industry Struggle With Coming Out, Only To Find Much More Success After They Finally Did.

I Get Up Around 7 A.m. That's Very Early For A Stand-up Comic. Then I'll Have Breakfast With My Husband, The Artist Al Ridenour, Take My Three Dogs For A Walk And Commence With My Work.

Sex In General, For Me, Is A Lot Of Different Aspects Of Humanity, Not Just My Relationships. It's My Relationship To Myself And My Body.

White Fragility! White People Are So Sensitive About Race And Racial Conversations. I Feel Like I'm Always Walking On Eggshells When I'm Around White People.

I Want Jesus To Come Back And Say 'thats Not What I Meant'" -

There Are Definitely Racial Problems In This Country [the Usa]. Comedy Is A Way We Can Figure Out How To Solve It, And How To Solve It Without Making People Really Angry.

It Was Hard For Me To Do The Show (all-american Girl) Because A Lot Of People Didn't Even Understand The Concept Of Asian-american. I Was On A Morning Show And The Host Said, "awright, Margaret, We're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate! So Why Don't You Tell Our Viewers In Your Native Language That We're Making That Transition?" So I Looked At The Camera And Said, "um, They're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate."

Native Language

I Like To Respond With Jokes And To Keep It As Light As Possible.

No Matter What These Terrorists Do, I Refuse To Be Terrorized. All This Requires Is Just A Few Alterations In Our Day To Day Lives. For Example, My First Instinct When I Receive An Envelope Full Of White Powder... Is To Snort It! I Just Won't Do That This Time!

There's A Lot Of Guy Comics Who I Think Are Funny, But I Generally Am More Excited About A Special Or A Show Where There Are Females.

I Love Heavily Tattooed Women. I Imagine Their Lives Are Filled With Sensuality And Excess, Madness And Generosity, Impulsive Natures And Fights. They Look Like They Have Endured Much Pain And Sadness, Yet Have The Ability To Transcend All Of It By Documenting It On The Body

I'm Very Much A Stand-up Comedian In My Heart. That's Really What I Do. Now I'm Trying To Incorporate All Of The Different Elements Of My Work As A Performer, And Use It As A Stand-up Comedian.

I Think Reality Television Is Such A Special Talent.

I Was Raised To Be Self-conscious About Weight. Then As I Got Older And Started Doing Television, It Became A Career Issue, Like, 'you Have To Lose Weight Or You'll Lose That Job.'

People At Shows Have Told Me That They've Shown My Videos To Their Parents And Families To Help Them Come Out Of The Closet. It's Very Inspiring That Comedy Can Do That And Can Help People Cope With Everyday Life And Challenges Through Humor.

I Think Political Correctness Really Does Help Us When It Serves Us But It Doesn't Help Us When It Silences Us.

Why Can't All Different Types Of Women Be Considered Beautiful? Why Can't We Can't We All Be Considered Possible Love Interests?

You Didn't Hear Yello Until Later In The Night In The Bondage Clubs. Things Would Start Getting Crazy And That's When You'd Hear Yello. It Was Bad.

I'm A Huge Fan Of The People And Things That Are Considered The Epitomes Of Tastelessness - Things Like Drag And Raunchy Comedy.

Political Correctness Sometimes Does Great Work When It Helps Equalize The Playing Field When It Comes To Language, But It Does A Great Disservice When It Tries To Silence A Person Of Color.

I Refer To Myself As Gay, But I’m Married To A Man.

I Was Like, Am I Gay? Am I Straight? And I Realized...i'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

Sometimes The Only Way To Deal With Horrific Things In Life Is Through A Dark Sense Of Humor.

That Notion That We're In The Post-racism, Post-sexism World Is So Not True.

I'm Not A Body Shamer. The Word Fat Has Been Used To Hurt Me My Entire Life.

I Think If Somebody Does Something Stupid, It's Okay To Make Fun Of Them, But [celebrities] Have Also Gotten Very Conscious About Social Media, Kind Of Like The Catholic Church In The 1500s.

That It Is Not The People Who Really Feel That Way, But It Is People Who Have The Most Money To Fire Up These Propaganda Campaigns, These Like, Basically These Lies That They Are Willing To Lie To The Public In Order To Manipulate Them Into Doing What They Want. And To Me It Doesn't Make Any Sense.

I Just Think Women Are Funnier Than Men.

For Women In My Family, In Korean Culture, Women Are Really Valued In Their Youth, And Then When They Get Older, It's Like They Almost Become Irrelevant.

I Can Never Tell When Something Is Funny. I Just Have To Do It Onstage And Find Out.

I Feel Sorry For Anyone That I Am Obsessed With. I Am Worse Than Gum In Your Hair, Very, Very Close To The Roots.

The Incognito Of Lower Class Employment Is An Effective Cloak For Any Dagger One Might Wish To Hide.

I Started [performing] So Young That It Might Have Just Been That I Kind Of Had To Grow Up And Make People Understand That I Was Worth Listening To, Even Though I Was A Child.

You Have To Adhere To A Certain Morality, A Certain Level Of Decorum, Or Else You'll Be Punished And Labeled.

People Have A Lot Of Shame And Suffering Around It And I Felt That The Best Thing I Could Do Was To Share My Experiences, Which I Have Been Doing For A Long Time, And Let People Know That Of All The Things That I've Endured.

Success Is Meaningless If You Can't Sleep At Night Because Of Harsh Things Said, Petty Secrets Sharpened Against Hard And Stony Regret, Just Waiting To Be Plunged Into The Soft Underbelly Of A 'friendship.'

Congratulations

Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle Totalitarianism.

You Have To Have A Very Holler-y Sensibility. So They [the Audience] Know There's Something Worth Listening To.

Im Not A Mom, But I Think The Word Mother Is About Wisdom.

I’m Not Going To Die Because I Failed As Someone Else. I’m Going To Succeed As Myself.

Funny Inspirational

I Think That When You Are Accused Of Being In Bad Taste It Can Be Quite Positive. You're Challenging The Notions Of Polite Society. I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

Christ's Purpose Was To Really Show How Everyone Can Be Loved And How Everyone Should Be Loved And Accepted.

I Definitely Support Free Speech.

My Family Has Been Deeply Affected By The Split Of Korea, Which Divided It In Half, Basically, Before I Was Born. There's No Way To Connect With My Family Now Who Are In North Korea Because It's So Isolated. We Don't Even Know Who Is Still There And Who Is Alive, And If They Are, What They Are Doing. Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle This Totalitarianism.

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Toni Cade Bambara

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