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Success Is Meaningless If You Can't Sleep At Night Because Of Harsh Things Said, Petty Secrets Sharpened Against Hard And Stony Regret, Just Waiting To Be Plunged Into The Soft Underbelly Of A 'friendship.'

-Margaret Cho

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Success Is Meaningless If

Margaret Cho

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Success Is Meaningless If You Can't Sleep At Night Because Of Harsh Things Said, Petty Secrets Sharpened Against Hard And Stony Regret, Just Waiting To Be Plunged Into The Soft Underbelly Of A 'friendship.'

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Congratulations

More From Margaret Cho

The Intention Is To Make People Laugh, To Make People Happy. It's Unselfish, It's In The Service Of Others, And As A Comedian You Are Making Yourself Vulnerable In Order To Make Others Happy. And It Has A Transformative Power.

Make Others Happy

Some People Are That - More Than A Parent, More Than A Role Model, More Than Anything Less Than A Religion.

There's This Idea Like Feminism Is Humorless And Humorless In A Way That's Like A Whistleblower. Like You're Going To - You're Going To Make Sure That Nobody Has Any Fun. And That's Not True At All. I Think Feminism Allows Me To Do What I Do, And I'm So Grateful To The Idea Of It And Grateful To All The Women That Came Before.

I Get Up Around 7 A.m. That's Very Early For A Stand-up Comic. Then I'll Have Breakfast With My Husband, The Artist Al Ridenour, Take My Three Dogs For A Walk And Commence With My Work.

To Start Telling People That You're Beautiful, Or Just Feel Beautiful, Just Start Acting Like You Are The Most Beautiful Woman In The World. And It Really Improves Everything! Because Your Sort Of Psyche Responds To It - Like This Is Truthful!

I Was Like, Am I Gay? Am I Straight? And I Realized...i'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

Monogamy Is So Weird. Like When You Know Their Name And Stuff.

I Think It Is Time For All Babies To Let Us Know Who They Want For President.

I Have 3 Dogs Myself - I Actually Have A Kennel License In Order To Do So. I Love Them So Much I Couldn't Imagine My Life Without Them.

I Was In Toronto When They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. I Was In The Airport And There Were These Big Snowboarder Guys And They Had White Masks Around Their Necks, And As Soon As They Saw Me, They Put Their Masks On. So I Went "cough, Cough, Cough... You Wanna Egg Rorr?

Strange, There's So Much Religion In The World, But Only Enough To Make Us Fight Over Who Is Right, Not Enough To Make Us Love One Another.

I Think It Is Really Sad That When People Lose Their Homes They Kind Of Lose Their Minds Too.

My Family Has Been Deeply Affected By The Split Of Korea, Which Divided It In Half, Basically, Before I Was Born. There's No Way To Connect With My Family Now Who Are In North Korea Because It's So Isolated. We Don't Even Know Who Is Still There And Who Is Alive, And If They Are, What They Are Doing. Comedy Is The Only Weapon I Have To Battle This Totalitarianism.

The Stuff I Do And Say Onstage I Can Do Easily. As A Performer, That Comes Easily. But Being Social Offstage, It's Not Easy For Me.

I Think That Sometimes People [who Overreact Or Lash Out] Will Hang On To Their Point Just Because They're So Embarrassed That They Made It. They Won't Set It Down Because They Are The Authors Of These [disproportionate Responses] And They Have A Lot To Be Embarrassed About.

For Women In My Family, In Korean Culture, Women Are Really Valued In Their Youth, And Then When They Get Older, It's Like They Almost Become Irrelevant.

My Philosophy Is, "murder The Rapist In Your Mind So You Stop Killing Yourself." I've Seen, In My Lifetime, That Sexual Abuse Has Turned Into Self-abuse. When I Kill The Rapist Inside Of Me, I Will Stop Killing Myself.

I Don't Like Pot Anymore -- I Forget Why.

Something As Important As Marriage Equality, Which Is Now A Constitutional Right [in The Usa], Is Something That Cannot Be Denied. It's Also Very Un-christian, If You Think About The Way Christ Was And Christ's Teachings. This Is Not Loving. This Is Anger. This Is Hatred. This Is Bigotry. And It's Wrong.

I Think That Gay People Should Have The Right To Get Married By Elvis Like Everybody Else.

White Fragility! White People Are So Sensitive About Race And Racial Conversations. I Feel Like I'm Always Walking On Eggshells When I'm Around White People.

I Got Back From Toronto, Where They Had A Severe Outbreak Of Sars - You Know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.

The First Thing You Lose On A Diet Is Brain Mass.

Inspirational Weight Loss

Ugly. Is Irrelevant. It Is An Immeasurable Insult To A Woman, And Then Supposedly The Worst Crime You Can Commit As A Woman. But Ugly, As Beautiful, Is An Illusion.

I Had Been Taking Various Lessons. I've Also Had A Lot Of Incredible Singers Give Me A Ton Of Great Advice. From Cyndi Lauper, Who Kind Of Taught Me The Basics, And I've Also Worked With Bird. She's A Tremendous Coach And She Often Coaches The Contestants On 'american Idol.' I've Had A Great Amount Of Support.

I Don't Think I'm Gay. I Don't Think I'm Straight. I Think I'm Just Slutty. Where's My Parade?

Where Do People Get Off Telling People What To Do? It's Their Bodies. If You Legalized Sex Work And Legally Protected The Sex Workers, You Wouldn't See Anything Like Human Trafficking. All Of That Would Be Obliterated.

My Father Tried To Get Me To Be Around Gay People A Lot When I Was Young. He Owned A Gay Bookstore And It Had A Lot Of Gay Literature And Art Books And He Wanted Me To Be Taken Care Of By The Young Gays And Lesbians Who Worked For Him.

I Don't Like Catchphrases Either. A Current One Would Be, "bye, Felicia." It's Used So Much That We Don't Even Know The Origin Anymore.

Sometimes The Only Way To Deal With Horrific Things In Life Is Through A Dark Sense Of Humor.

Comedy Was All I Ever Wanted.

Try To Put Your Happiness Before Anyone Else's, Because You May Never Have Done So In Your Entire Life, If You Really Think About It, If You Are Really Honest With Yourself.

I Could Never Make A Joke About Somebody Unless I Could Say It To Their Face And They'd Laugh.

I Was Raised To Be Self-conscious About Weight. Then As I Got Older And Started Doing Television, It Became A Career Issue, Like, 'you Have To Lose Weight Or You'll Lose That Job.'

I Taught Sunday School For Two Years. And I Got Fired. I Abused My Authority. I Used To Teach Class Like This, "ok, If One More Person Talks, Everybody Is Going To Hell."

I Helped Deliver One Of My Best Friend's Children. I Just Was So Amazed By My Friend, Because She Was Not Just A Woman, She Was Not Just A Mother. At That Moment She Was Creation; She Was Life; She Was God. And As I Looked In Her Eyes, Boom! Her Pussy Exploded.

I'm Always Too Fat. And I Always Look Terrible. But I Love The Theater Of The Red Carpet.

People Are Really Terrified Of Me. I Don't Know Why, I'm Very Nice, But People Are Very Intimidated By Me.

I Don't Want To Bring Myself Down To Place Where There Are Hard And Fast Rules. In General I Try To Be Compassionate, But That Is Dependent On The Moment Ultimately.

I Started [performing] So Young That It Might Have Just Been That I Kind Of Had To Grow Up And Make People Understand That I Was Worth Listening To, Even Though I Was A Child.

I Think Political Correctness Really Does Help Us When It Serves Us But It Doesn't Help Us When It Silences Us.

There's A Lot Of Guy Comics Who I Think Are Funny, But I Generally Am More Excited About A Special Or A Show Where There Are Females.

You Have To Constantly Recreate Yourself In Show Business, Which Is A Very Fast Thing, Especially Now With The Tremendous Speed Of Social Media. There Are So Many Personalities, So Many Different Kinds Of Comedy That You Can Access, So It’s Definitely Important To Stake Your Claim And Say Who You Are.

You Didn't Hear Yello Until Later In The Night In The Bondage Clubs. Things Would Start Getting Crazy And That's When You'd Hear Yello. It Was Bad.

I've Always Wanted To Have Tattoos. I Grew Up Around People Who Were Very Tattooed. It's A Self-expression Thing; It's Also Helped Me Claim My Body As My Own. So I Think It's Really Positive. It's Really Joyful.

I Think If Somebody Does Something Stupid, It's Okay To Make Fun Of Them, But [celebrities] Have Also Gotten Very Conscious About Social Media, Kind Of Like The Catholic Church In The 1500s.

I Love New York. I Love Working Here.

I Love New York

I Think Sex Is Really About The Self, And Really A Self-reflection.

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form. Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected. If I'm Angry About Something I Will Try To Think About Something Funny About It To Lighten The Load Of The Anger And Cope With The Anger.

I Am A Big Ellen Fan. I Have Been One For Quite A Long Time Now. I Used To Do The Local News Talk Shows With Her In San Francisco, When We Were Both Still Kids.

I Will Never Stop Complaining.

Stop Complaining

Interventions Are Really Emotionally Exhausting And I Would Never Ever Want To Have One. In The Same Way, I Would Never Want To Have A Surprise Birthday Party. That Would Be Horrible.

My Mother Goes Crazy Over Babies. Some People Just Do. They Love 'em! I Never Have. Babies Scare Me More Than Anything. They're Tiny And Fragile And Impressionable - And Someone Else's! As Much As I Hate Borrowing Stuff, That Is How Much I Hate Holding Other People's Babies. It's Too Much Responsibility.

In America, I'm A Foreigner Because Of My Korean Heritage. In Asia, Because I Was Born In America, I'm A Foreigner. I'm Always A Foreigner.

I Am Always Writing No Matter What I Am Doing And No Matter What It Is For.

[an Article About Cho] Started Out, "funny, Sexy, Zaftig Margaret Cho..." What Is "zaftig?" Isn't That German For "big Fat Pig?" I Guess I Was Lucky - "zaftig" Is Kind Of A Nice Word. It Could Have Been, "funny, Sexy, Obese Margaret Cho."

I Always Wonder Why Republicans Hate Gay Marriage, Because They Certainly Don't Hate Gay Prostitutes.

It's Always Considered Bad Taste To Comment On A Tragedy Right When It's Happening, But I Love When Something Is Considered Too Soon To Talk About Because Then You Can Blast Past That Social Censorship To Get Into Something Real.

No Wonder All The Great Comedians Had Such Destructive Private Lives. ... After You Get The Audience Into That Kind Of Frenzy, And You Are Being Worshiped Like The False Idol You Are, How Do You Leave The Stage And Transition Back Into Real Life? ... What Is There Left To Do But Set Yourself On Fire?

Im Not A Mom, But I Think The Word Mother Is About Wisdom.

I've Worked With Incredible Producers Who Have Also Taken My Voice And Brought It To Another Level. I Think I Have Some Natural Abilities, But It's The Technique That I've Been Learning From The Best That Keeps Me Going. I'm Really Honored To Do It.

Pot Is An Insidious Drug Because It Can Steal Your Life Away From You, Without You Even Being Aware Of It. I Had A Love Affair With Pot For Ten Years. Pot Was My Most Devoted Partner.

If You Have Sex, It Should Be For You, Not For The Other Person.

I'm Really Bad With Trolls Because I Have A Lot Of Really Intense Friends Who Are Not Necessarily Doing Things So Legally. If I Get Trolled, [my Friends Will Send Me] An Email With The Person's Social Security Number, Phone Number, Pictures Of His Family, His Business, His Spouse. I See This Person In His Totality, And I Feel So Bad. I Shouldn't Have That Power.

I Always Thought That People Told You That You're Beautiful-that This Was A Title That Was Bestowed Upon You. [...] I Think That It's Time To Take This Power Into Our Own Hands And To Say, "you Know What? I'm Beautiful. I Just Am. And That's My Light. I'm Just A Beautiful Woman."

Try To Have A Good Day Today, Wherever You Are, Whatever You Do, Whoever Is Near, If No One Is Near. Try To Be Happy, Because You May Not See Tomorrow. There Is Someone This Morning, Who Didn't Wake Up, Who Will Never See This Day. Try To Feel Lucky That This Is Not You.

Snooki Is Really Beautiful And Looks Quite Like Elizabeth Taylor In 'cleopatra.' She Has The Same Bone Structure. I'm Kind Of Obsessed With 'jersey Shore.' People Don't Give Them Enough Credit For How Entertaining They Are.

To Me, Marriage Is Really Important And What We Build Families On. That's Why Gay Marriage Is Really Important.

I Mean, What's Great About Touring Is That's What You Do. You're In A Constant State Of Motion And Then You Stop To Do A Show And You Move Onto The Next City. All You Have To Do Is Do The Show. That's The Only Responsibility That You Have.

When People Think The World Of You, Be Careful With Them.

The Newest Victims Of The Nation's Foreclosure Crisis Are Pets, Which Is Extremely Distressing To Me.

That Notion That We're In The Post-racism, Post-sexism World Is So Not True.

It Was Hard For Me To Do The Show (all-american Girl) Because A Lot Of People Didn't Even Understand The Concept Of Asian-american. I Was On A Morning Show And The Host Said, "awright, Margaret, We're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate! So Why Don't You Tell Our Viewers In Your Native Language That We're Making That Transition?" So I Looked At The Camera And Said, "um, They're Changing Over To An Abc Affiliate."

Native Language

In Some Places It's Actually Very Ok To Be Homophobic.

Love Is The Big Booming Beat Which Covers Up The Noise Of Hate.

I Was About 17 Or 18 And There Were A Lot Of Clubs And Dancing. It Was The Beginning Of Rave Culture And A Lot Of Ecstasy. Because Of All The Drugs, There Are Certain Songs That Make Me Feel High.

Being Called Ugly And Fat And Disgusting To Look At From The Time I Could Barely Understand What The Words Meant Has Scarred Me So Deep Inside That I Have Learned To Hunt, Stalk, Claim, Own And Defend My Own Loveliness.

My Boyfriend And I Live Together, Which Means We Don't Have Sex - Ever. Now That The Milk Is Free, We've Both Become Lactose Intolerant.

I Don't Understand The Whole Christian Conservativism Doesn't Make Sense To Me Because I Was Raised Very Christian And Its Kind Of An Odd Thing But My Parents, My Family Is Also Very Conservative In Their Own Way But I Understand The Bible And I Studied Christianity Very Well And I Don't See Where The Hatred Of Gays Comes From Because It Really Defeats Christ's Purpose.

Just Because You Are Blind And Unable To See My Beauty Doesn't Mean It Does Not Exist.

My Parents Are Very Funny When They Have To Deal With Anything Racy Or Off-color. They Usually Pretend They Don't Speak English.

I Don't Want To Hurt Anybody Because Of Their Looks. That's Been Used To Hurt Me So Much.

When You Feel Powerful, You Are Willing To Stand Up For Your Rights, You Are Willing To Stand Up For What You Believe In, You're More Willing To Stand Up And Be Counted.

I Am In Love With Counting Crows. It Is So Manly And American.

I Am Into Belly Dancing. I Used To Only Hang With Comics. Now I Have Friends Who Are Dancers, And My Whole House Has A Harem Feel.

Often Something That Is In Bad Taste Or Considered To Be In Bad Taste Is Something That's Just Very True But That People Are Unwilling To Discuss Or Comment On.

I Was Crazy About The Song "doot Doot," So I Usually Love This Genre Of Weird, European Electronic.

I Just Think Women Are Funnier Than Men.

You Don't Become A Republican Until You Lose All Your Baby Teeth And Fall Down A Lot And Get The Croup And Then Become Angry And Bitter.

There Are Definitely Racial Problems In This Country [the Usa]. Comedy Is A Way We Can Figure Out How To Solve It, And How To Solve It Without Making People Really Angry.

I Am Star-struck But Also I've Known A Lot Of People For A Long Time. Like I'm Super Star-struck By Grant Lee Phillips And Jon Brion But I've Known Them For 17 Years. So It's Kinda Like Weird To Be Star-struck Still, But I Still Am!

Sometimes When We Are Generous In Small, Barely Detectable Ways It Can Change Someone Else's Life Forever.

I Have A Box Of Awards In The Closet. I Think It Is Weird To Put Them Out. I Might If I Had An Emmy Or Oscar, But I Don't.

People At Shows Have Told Me That They've Shown My Videos To Their Parents And Families To Help Them Come Out Of The Closet. It's Very Inspiring That Comedy Can Do That And Can Help People Cope With Everyday Life And Challenges Through Humor.

I Think That Failure Is Just As Important As Success. In A Way, Failure Is A Kind Of Success If You Can Look At It In The Right Way, If You Can Accept It And Enjoy It In The Right Way.

In The Early '90s, There Was Such A Limited Idea Of What You Could See On Tv.

Let's Not Hate Ourselves. We Are All We Have. We Cannot Change Anything Until We Accept That. I Cannot Do This Alone. I Don't Love Myself Enough To Do It Alone, But I Can Do It If We Have A Pact, If I Am Keeping Up My End Of The Bargain. I Have Been A Longtime Perpetrator Of Hate Crimes Against Myself, And I Am Turning Myself In. I Have Had Enough.

I Don't Know Why It's Anyone's Business! People Do What They Need To Do. I Did It, And It Was Nowhere Near As Traumatic As Being Raped. I Was So Numb For So Long That Sex Work For Me Was Not A Big Deal.

Anger And Comedy Are Really Connected.

Since I Became A Dancer, I Have Felt Much Better About Myself.

I Think That Reaching Out To Kids That Feel Really Isolated Is A Life Saving Gesture That We Have A Responsibility As Older Queers To Do.

Your Goal Is To Write That Masterpiece. Yello's Masterpiece Was "oh Yeah." Whatever I Say About The Song Doesn't Matter, Because It Has A Huge Impact On How We Remember The Era.

I Think I Appeal To People Who Are Living In The Margins Because Of Their Identity And Who Need To Feel Freedom Somewhere.

When We're Talking About Feminism, I Get Sort Of Lost In The Argument. Because As A Woman Of Color, I Don't Know Where I Belong In This Argument. Where Do I Say, 'i Would Be Happy To Have Less Money'? How Do You Fight For Your Rights When I'm Super-grateful To Be Here At All?

Christ's Purpose Was To Really Show How Everyone Can Be Loved And How Everyone Should Be Loved And Accepted.

A Few Words About ‘trannychasing.’ I Am Not A Trannychaser. Ok, Actually I Am A Trannychaser. No I Am Not. I Am A Trannycatcher! Just Kidding!

If You Really Care About Children Then Why Would You Want To Keep Families From Adopting Them?

Silence Is So Often Applauded And Those Who Speak Out Are Often Called Tasteless.

I Have A Song About How Much I Hate Emojis And The Lazy Thinking Of People Who Use Them. I Wish That More People Had Respect For The English Language.

I'm A Huge Fan Of The People And Things That Are Considered The Epitomes Of Tastelessness - Things Like Drag And Raunchy Comedy.

George Bush Isn't Hitler. He Could Be If He Applied Himself.

I Love Fashion, I'm Actually A Pretty Talented Seamstress, So I Can Make Stuff For Myself, But That's Really Time-consuming.

I Have Learned To Love That Which Is Meant To Harm Me, So That I Can Stand In The Way Of Those Who Are Less Strong. I Can Take The Bullets For Those Who Aren't Able To.

Its Funny Because When I Did Feel Like I Came Out And I Just Felt Like I Was Being Truthful To Myself, (it Was At) That Point I Became Very Successful. So You Know, It Took A True Kind Of Facing That Truth Of Myself And Being Honest, That Was When The Real Kind Of Fame Or Whatever That Kind Of Stuff Happened For Me.

I’m Not Going To Die Because I Failed As Someone Else. I’m Going To Succeed As Myself.

Funny Inspirational

The Incognito Of Lower Class Employment Is An Effective Cloak For Any Dagger One Might Wish To Hide.

There's Vulnerability - So I Have To Make Sure The Audience Is Certain That I Know What I'm Doing. There's Vulnerability There Because My Heart Is Open, But At The Same Time I Definitely Have A Lot Of "weapons" At My Disposal. I Have All The Language, I Have All Of The Moment - I Have All Of That To Spar With Somebody, To Take Anything On.

People Drain Me, Even The Closest Of Friends, And I Find Loneliness To Be The Best State In The Union To Live In.

That's The Nature Of Comedy. You Always Want To Be Improving And Growing And Changing With What's Happening In The World. That's When Comedy Is Most Effective.

It's Good To Be Able To Laugh At Yourself And The Problems You Face In Life. Sense Of Humor Can Save You.

I've Always Been An Ajumma, But When You Get Older, The Culture We Were Brought Up In Works In Our Favor Where Aging Is Good, Combatting The Hollywood Idea That Aging Is Bad. I'm Very Grateful For That.

My Life Is Anything But Typical.

I Can't Drag Myself Away From 'final Cut Pro.' It Is A Digital Video Editing System. I Am Obsessed With It, But I Am Always Away From Home, And I Can't Use It.

It’s Like Your Batteries Get Low, And You Need To Charge Them On Someone Else’s Story.

Over Half The World Menstruates At One Time Or Another, But You'd Never Know It. Isn't That Strange?

Kim Kardashian Is A Kind Of Archetype. But She Owns Her Beauty And Is Tremendously Successful. There's No Tragedy, There's No Drug Story. There's Just Her And Her Fame And Her Beauty. But Anna Nicole Created That Template Of Somebody That You'd Want To Watch On Reality Tv. Somebody That You'd Want To Invite Into Your Home Or As A Role Model, In Terms Of Beauty And Lifestyle And Glamour.

Now On Facebook I Have All These 'friends' Who Used To Bully Me, And They're Like, 'we're So Proud! We Love You!' They Come To Shows And Want To Take A Picture, And They're Like, 'don't You Remember Us?' And I'm Like, 'i'm Sorry, I Don't.' And I Feel Bad, But I Feel Good.

That It Is Not The People Who Really Feel That Way, But It Is People Who Have The Most Money To Fire Up These Propaganda Campaigns, These Like, Basically These Lies That They Are Willing To Lie To The Public In Order To Manipulate Them Into Doing What They Want. And To Me It Doesn't Make Any Sense.

For Me To Be Ten Pounds Thinner Is A Full-time Job, And I Am Handing In My Notice And Walking Out The Door!!

The Only Thing That Was Sort Of Asian [as A Role Model] Was Hello Kitty. I Don't Want To Model Myself After Hello Kitty. She Has No Mouth.

When It Comes To Children, My Mom Doesn't Believe In Borders. She Loves All Children, And That's A Good Example Of Mothering The World. I Need To Do That, But Before I Can, I Need To Get Over My Fear Of Kids In The First Place.

If You're A Songwriter, You Want To Write A Song Like "oh Yeah" That Radically Shifts Everything. You Can Definitely Retire On That Song. You Want To Have Something You Can Put In Your Songbook That Everybody Can Recognize, Whether It's A Good Or Bad Thing.

Anything Vince Clarke, Whether It's Erasure, Yaz, Or Depeche Mode. It's Basically R&b With Synths. It's Very Sexy Music And Perfect For Gay Sex.

Grow Up And Let Anyone Try To Content With The Adult You.

If Public Figures Came Out Of The Closet, Then The Lgbt Kids Who Saw Them On Tv Would Feel Safe, Before They Even Knew Why They Felt Dangerous. Maybe If Enough People Came Out Of The Closet, Gay Kids Would Never Feel Dangerous. Maybe We Could Have A World Where We Could All Just Live. We May Not All Agree, But Why Can't We Just All Live?

I Don't Have Children, And I Am Not Sure If I Have Wanted Them Or Never Wanted Them. It's Weird Not To Be Able To Decide. I Don't Know If I Could Stand That Kind Of Commitment, Or If I Am Really Honest, I Don't Think That I Could Handle Being That Vulnerable To Someone Else.

A Lot Of The Actresses Who Were Around When I Started, I Don't Know Where They Are. Comics Stick Around.

I Do Love The Road, Because For Me, The Road Is Very Comfortable, And It's Very Much What I've Always Wanted To Do. It's One Of The Most Appealing Things About Comedy For Me, So I Do Really Have An Affection For It.

I Have So Much Hate That It Has Turned Into Love.

I Feel Sorry For Anyone That I Am Obsessed With. I Am Worse Than Gum In Your Hair, Very, Very Close To The Roots.

I Voice My Opinions On Social Media And I Have People Threatening Me With Violence. It Is Troubling But I Can Fight Back, Which Is Good.

I'd Like To Put Across The Notion That Bad Taste Is Actually Good For You.

People Have A Lot Of Shame And Suffering Around It And I Felt That The Best Thing I Could Do Was To Share My Experiences, Which I Have Been Doing For A Long Time, And Let People Know That Of All The Things That I've Endured.

I Always Felt Like An Outsider Growing Up. In School, I Felt Like I Never Fit In. But It Didn't Help When My Mother, Instead Of Buying Me Glue For School Projects, Would Tell Me To Just Use Rice.

All The Songs On Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Are The Encapsulation Of Heterosexual Love. I Have Different Records For Gay Sex.

Comedy Is A Noble Art.

Tattooing Is My Social Life, Too, So Most Of My Time Is Taken Up With That. People Like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis At Everlasting Tattoo.

Why Go Through Life Feeling Cheated? It Does Nothing But Make You Bitter.

Humanity Is A Natural Foil For Inhumanity, And Humanity Is What Will Ultimately Keep Us Going When All Else Has Failed.

I Don't Like To Criticize Music And I Had A Really Hard Time Picking Out The Song I Hate For This Because I End Up Seeing And Working With Musicians All The Time.

Silence Equals Nonexistence. If I Don't Raise My Voice, It's Like I Never Existed.

The Label Of Tasteful Or Tasteless Is So Often Used To Silence People And To Maintain The Status Quo. It's Used To Shame People For Not Following The Commonly Accepted Routine, For Not Aligning Themselves With The Status Quo.

If We Have The Opportunity To Be Generous With Our Hearts, Ourselves, We Have No Idea Of The Depth And Breadth Of Love's Reach.

What Happened In The 80's Was That All The Men Died Of Aids. That Was A Particularly Depressing Time Because So Many People Passed Away And It Was A Very Desperate And Lonely Time, So I Think A Lot Of People Felt That We Were Somehow, Unreceived. Not Only By The Disease But Also By The Public Image Of The Disease. It Really Gave Homophobia A Real Shot In The Arm And Changed The Way People Viewed Gays, Queers. It Became An Entirely Different Atmosphere.

I Definitely Support Free Speech.

Most Conservatives Also Believe In The Death Penalty, But Not Abortion, Which Proves They Like To Procrastinate.

I'm A Survivor. But I'm Also Victim, Too. Surviving Has The Connotation That You've Been Through It, You Lived Through It And That's Wonderful - But A Victim Is What I Was. "survivor" Is The More Healing Way To Look At It.

I Think Comedy Is An Angry Art Form; It's An Outsider Art Form.

It's Not The Best Between My Family And Me. There Are So Many Crimes Left Unpunished, Debts Unpaid, White Elephants In The Middle Of The Room That No One Will Even Offer A Peanut To. We Are In The Red, Emotionally Speaking.

Sex In General, For Me, Is A Lot Of Different Aspects Of Humanity, Not Just My Relationships. It's My Relationship To Myself And My Body.

If You Are A Woman, If You're A Person Of Color, If You Are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, If You Are A Person Of Size, If You Are A Person Of Intelligence, If You Are A Person Of Integrity, Then You Are Considered A Minority In This World. And It's Going To Be Really Hard To Find Messages Of Self-love And Support Anywhere. Especially Women's And Gay Men's Culture. It's All About How You Have To Look A Certain Way, Or Else You're Worthless... For Us To Have Self-esteem Is Truly An Act Of Revolution, And Our Revolution Is Long Overdue.

Try To Love Someone Who You Want To Hate, Because They Are Just Like You, Somewhere Inside, In A Way You May Never Expect, In A Way That Resounds So Deeply Within You That You Cannot Believe It.

I Use My Work As Catharsis. That's Often The Best Thing That We Can Do, Is To Allow Ourselves To Rage Because It's So Rare That We Get To. We're Told To Forgive - I Don't Want To! I Don't Want To Forgive My Abuser! I Don't Care To And I Don't Like That Assumption That Forgiveness Makes Me A Better Person. It's Not Authentic To Me, My Feelings And What I Need. But Everyone Has Their Own Way.

I Became A Comedian Because I Didn't Want To Be Bullied Anymore. Onstage I Was Safe.

Korean Children Get A Lot Of Fuss Made Over Them, I Guess Because Life Was Tough In The Old Country, And It Was A Big Deal If You Survived. There's A Big Party Thrown When You Are 100 Days Old, Followed By Another When You Make It To One Whole Year.

Comedy Is A Noble Art. And Every Comedian Who Does Anything Is Serving A Noble Purpose.

I Get A Lot From Great '90s Artists Like Juliana Hatfield, The Pixies, And Bands Like That Dog And The Breeders.

I Really (became) Very Independent. I Was Start(ed) To Write One-woman Shows And Mak(e) Films And To Me I Think I Really Felt Like My Choice (was) More Important Than Any Kind Of Career Goal.

I Love Wilco's "i'm The Man Who Loves You." Nels Cline Has That Weird Guitar Slide At The Beginning And The Song Is Whispered Actually.

I Think Self-deprecation Is Such A Disease, And I Want To Cure Everybody Of It And So That's My Contribution.

I Love Tattooed Women, Maybe Because They Are Uncontrollable, They Are Themselves To The Point Of Drawing Symbols Of Their Power On Their Skin. Talk About Owning Your Own Body, Being In Your Body, Claiming Yourself. I Love It. When The World Is In An Uproar Over Whether Women Should Have A Choice Or Not When It Comes To Their Own Bodies, Being Tattooed Is One Of The Most Visible Choices Of All.

[fur] Is Really Ridiculous. It's Outrageous. We're Not Living In Igloos. We Don't Need To Trade Pelts Anymore. There Is This Diabolical Idea That Fur Is Fashionable. It's Not. It's Death. There's No Excuse For It.

Maybe I Wanted To Hear It So Badly That My Ears Betrayed My Mind In Order To Secure My Heart.

Homophobia Is A Tough One. In Some Places It's Actually Very Ok To Be Homophobic. Comedy Clubs In General Are Very Unsafe Spaces For Lgbt, For Women, For Asian People. So My Goal In Comedy Has Sort Of Been To Make This A Safe Space For People Who Were Like Me.

Comedy Was The Key To Everything. I Grew Up Fast And Controlled My Future By Bringing It On Faster Than It Naturally Unfolded. I Cheated Myself Out Of A Childhood But Then Got A Running Headstart Into Adulthood That No One Else Could Keep Up With.

If I'm Talking To A Guy Who's Straight And Cute And Single, I'm Like 'are You A Unicorn?'

I Really Love Steve Martin And All The Stuff He Did In The '70s. I Think It's Really Great.

It Makes It Very Hard To Say What You Believe In And Not Be Attacked For It. And It's Not Fair; I'm Korean, But I'm Not Supposed To Talk About My Experience And My Life? It's Unaccepting.

One Of My First Jobs Was On A Lesbian Cruise. I Was The Ship Comedian For The Lesbian Love Boat.

In My Life, I Don't Wear Makeup, I Don't Care About Any Of The Trappings Of The "feminine," Or How I Look In Photographs. To Me, It's Irrelevant, Which I Think Is Really Shocking To People In The Industry That I'm In, Because It's Like, "you Should Always Look Good", But I Honestly Don't Care. It's Not Important To Me.

That's Part Of Being An Artist; You Have To Be That Sensitive.

Being An Artist

I'm Lucky That I Have Good Genetics. Like You Said, It Just Gets Better As I Get Older.

I Feel Like This Song [yello, "oh Yeah"] Was Probably Done In A Couple Of Minutes In A Studio. There Was Probably No Thought Behind It; They Were Just Playing With Some Samples And Threw It Together. I Feel Like There's No Dream Behind The Song. Usually There's A Dream Or Some Kind Of Passion Attached To A Song. This Song Feels Very Empty. It Made A Lot Of Money For The Songwriters But At The Expense Of Culture.

I've Spent So Much Time Feeling Ugly And Being Treated As Ugly As A Result. But I Changed My Attitude And Said, “i’m Beautiful Because I Love Everybody As Much As I Can. I’m Beautiful Because I Have Wonderful Friends. And I’m Beautiful Because I Say I Am. I’ve Earned It, And I’m Gonna Be It.

Wonderful Friends

I'm Not A Body Shamer. The Word Fat Has Been Used To Hurt Me My Entire Life.

You Have To Adhere To A Certain Morality, A Certain Level Of Decorum, Or Else You'll Be Punished And Labeled.

I Think I Started Out Okay But With Aids Came A Great Deal Of Silence About Gayness And This Period Of Lose And Morning, But At The Same Time A Kind Of Feeling Like You Wanted To Get Back Into The Closet Because Being Gay Was Such A Terrible Thing At That Point.

I Love Heavily Tattooed Women. I Imagine Their Lives Are Filled With Sensuality And Excess, Madness And Generosity, Impulsive Natures And Fights. They Look Like They Have Endured Much Pain And Sadness, Yet Have The Ability To Transcend All Of It By Documenting It On The Body

I Thought I Was So Ugly For So Long, And I Wasted So Much Of My Life On This Dumb Notion.

When I Was 14, I Told My Mother I Was Going To Drop Out Of High School And Go Do Stand-up Comedy. All She Said Was 'oh Maybe It's Better If You Just Die,' Because It Was Killing Her That I Was Doing This.

Comedians And People In General Have A Cultural Right To Talk About Their Own Culture And Race.

One Place That I Really Feel Comfortable Is Being A Comedienne. I'm Very Socially Inept. There's So Many Things That I Can Not Do In Life, And This Is, Like, The One Thing That I Have Mastery Over. It's My World. And Anybody Who's Coming To The Show, It's Like They're Coming Because They Know That This Is My World.

I Refer To Myself As Gay, But I’m Married To A Man.

I’m Not Playing The Race Card. I’m Playing The Rice Card.

I Don't Really Know What 'selling Out' Is Exactly. I Would Sell Out If I Could, But Nobody's Buying It. I Would Love To Go Mainstream, But My Comedy Is Too Edgy. It's Always Too Dirty. It's Always Too Filthy. I'm Dying To Sell Out. But I Love Doing Comedy, I Love Touring, And I Think I Would Do Everything For Free.

My Inclination During Sex Always Is To Use Sex Toys. That's Not Something Men Are Often Used To.

It's Okay For You To Have Relationships, But It's Not Okay To Talk About Them. It's Not Okay To Be Out Or To Be Public About It. It's Not Okay To Be Photographed With Your Partner.

I Like To Respond With Jokes And To Keep It As Light As Possible.

I Have Permanent Damage To My Body Because I Wanted To Be Thin.

I'm Very Much A Stand-up Comedian In My Heart. That's Really What I Do. Now I'm Trying To Incorporate All Of The Different Elements Of My Work As A Performer, And Use It As A Stand-up Comedian.

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