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No Exclusive,” I Said Aloud, Watching Al For His Opinion And Seeing Him Shake His Head And Hold His Hands Out In A “bigger” Gesture. He Didn’t Even Know How Large The Offer Was, And He Thought I Could Get One Bigger.

-Kim Harrison

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No Exclusive,” I Said

Kim Harrison

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No Exclusive,” I Said Aloud, Watching Al For His Opinion And Seeing Him Shake His Head And Hold His Hands Out In A “bigger” Gesture. He Didn’t Even Know How Large The Offer Was, And He Thought I Could Get One Bigger.

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She Smiled With The Warmth Of A Penguin.

Minias Smiled. Great. Another Charming Demon. I Sort Of Prefer The Insane Ones.

A Devious Spark Lit Through Al, Making Me Smile. One Way. It Costs Too Much, He Said. “there’s No Inflation In The Ever-after, Al.” Call It A Recession Then. One Way.

I'd Watch Your Mouth", He Said, Tilting His Head As He Looked At My Id."the Last Lunker Who Laughed At Her Picture Spent The Night In The Emergency Room With A Drink Umbrella Jammed Up His Nose".

Sure Am Glad I'm Not Royalty," I Muttered. "i Wouldn't Want To Have To Bump Uglies With Someone I Can't Stand. On A Regular Basis. And No One Else." "ow!" I Exclaimed, Trying To Yank My Fingers From Trent But Finding Them Caught. Then I Colored, Realizing What I'd Said. "oh… Sorry," I Stammered, Meaning It. "that Was Insensitive." Trent's Frown Turned Into A Sly Smirk. "bump Uglies?" He Said, Eyes On The Table Behind Me. "you Are A Font Of Gutter Slang, Rachel. We Must Do This Again.

Newt Spun, Making Her Robe Unfurl. “he’s My Familiar, Bought And Paid For. I Can Claim Anything Of His. Even His Life.” Al Cleared His Throat Nervously. “that’s Good To Know,” He Said Lightly. “important Safety Tip. Rachel, Write That Down Somewhere As Lesson Number One.

Adjustment? She Called That An Adjustment? How About I Adjust Her Right Out Of Existence?

I Gestured My Frustration. “i Don’t Know. She’s Much Better Already. She Wasn’t Talking Half An Hour Ago. Look At Her Now.” We All Turned, Finding Ceri Sobbing Quietly And Drinking Her Tea In Small Reverent Sips As The Pixy Girls Hovered Over Her. Three Were Plating Her Long, Fair Hair And Another Was Singing To Her. Okay,” I Said As We Turned Back. “bad Example.

That Was Humanity's Problem Right There. They Are Brain Damaged From The Early Sun

I Felt Sick. Buying Kisten’s And My Safety From Piscary Was So Wrong. But It Was Either That Or Deal With A Demon, And I’d Rather Keep My Soul Clean And Let My Morals Get Dingy.

Lately I’d Begun Carrying Pain Amulets In My Bag, Like Some People Have Breath Mints.

The Warm Dampness Of Her Breath Made Me Shiver At The Mix Of The Familiar And The Unknown, With A Soft Exhalation She Shifted Her Head And Her Lips Found My Collarbone, Teasingly Shy Of My Old Scar. Tendrils Pulsed In Time With My Heart, Building On The Ones Before To An Unseen Height.

Plan B?' Ivy Said. 'what Is Plan B?' Jenks Reddened. 'grab The Fish And Run Like Hell,' He Muttered, And I Almost Giggled.

Listen Before You Draw Your Battle Lines, Lest You Alienate Your Allies.

I Sighed. I Hated The Maze Of Bureaucracy With A Passion, But I've Found The Best Way To Deal With It Is To Smile And Act Stupid. That Way, No One Gets Confused.

Was Using “dead-man’s-toe” Morally Okay If The Man’s Relatives Had Knowingly Sold Him For Parts?

You Tried To Slide His Original Curse Back Onto Him?” Al Said In Wonder. “at The Restaurant? And I Stopped You? Sweet Mother Pus Bucket!” He Exclaimed, And I Swear, Dust Sifted From The Ceiling. “rachel, We Have To Work On This Communication Thing.

You Should Be Dead," He Said, His Voice Full Of Wonder. "how Is It That You're Still Alive?" Jaw Clenched, I Worked At His Grip On Me, Trying To Get My Fingers Between Him And My Wrist. "i Work Hard At It.

I Do So Like All-encompassing Words. Verb, Adjective, Noun. Yes, You Are Shitted.

Somehow I Found Him. Somehow I Found Al's Sarcastic Thoughts, Bitter And Old. Tired, Angry, Bored. Alone.

I Am Black,” She Said, And A Shudder Rippled Through Me. “i Am Foul With A Thousand Years Of Demon Curses. Don’t Cross Me Or I Will Bring You And Your House Down. Rachel Is The Only Clean Thing I Have, And You Won’t Sully Her To Further Your High Ideas.

Numb, I Took The Perfectly Browned Puff. Okay. Let Me See If I Have This Right. Al Provokes Me Into Defending Myself. I Nearly Kill Him. Then Newt Tries To Kill Me, Thinking I'm Ku'sox. Al Stops Her, Saving My Life. And Now We're All Going To Have S'mores Together?

See, This Was Why I Liked Coffee. You Couldn’t Screw Up Making Coffee. Even The Bad Stuff Was Good.

You Need A New Hobby, Rachel. Something Other Than Nasty Little Men With Visions Of World Domination.

My Blood Rose, Mixing With My Lingering Fear Of The Unknown To Drive Her To A Fever Pitch. Her Lips Touched My Lower Neck And Vertigo Spun The Room, Burning Tracings Of Desire To Settle Deep And Low In Me. I Exhaled Into The Promise Of More To Come, Calling It To Me. I Breathed It In Like Smoke, The Rising Passion Starting A Feeling Of Abandonment Inside. I Didn’t Care Anymore If It Was Right Or Wrong. It Just Was.

Jenks Made A Move To Follow, Probably Forgetting He Didn’t Have Wings Anymore. He Leaned Forward And Fell To The Floor, Face First. “jenks!” I Shouted When He Hit With A Dull Smack And Started Swearing.

Rachel, What Do You Do? Put An Ad In The Paper For Trouble? (glenn)

God, It Stinks,” I Said, Hand Over My Nose As He Pulled Me Into A Long Step. Al Strode Forward, Head High. “it’s The Stench Of Bureaucracy, My Itchy-witch, And Why I Chose To Go Into Human Resources When But A Wee Lad.

I Can Think Of A Lot Of Things To Do," He Said, "and None Of Them Involve Standing Up. - Al

Shouts Of Dismay Rose As The Red Flesh Splattered Against The Table. It Was Only A Tomato, But One Would Think I Was Pulping A Decaying Heart By The Noise The Big, Strong Fib Officers Were Making.

"we Were The Pair. One Too Afraid To Feel Anything Lest She Lose Control Of Her Ironclad Hold On Her Emotions, And The Other So Hungry To Feel Anything That She´d Risk Her Free Will For One Night Of Fun.".

Maybe He Thinks He Can Rescue Me? No One Is That Stupid.

Five Trolls In A Dra-a-a-a-ag,' The Four-inch Man Sang From My Shoulder. 'four Purple Condoms, Three French Ticklers, Two Horny Vamps And A Succubus In The Snow.

Puppy Presents On The Rug. This Sucked.

Like The End Of A Picnic, All The Weenies Will Be Roasted.

Keep Your Vampire Mitts Off Me. I'm Not Your Friggin' Blood Toy.

Anything Worth Having Is Going To Be Hard

Anything Worth Having

Hey,” The Other Said, Coming To Life. “you’re Supposed To Be In Jail.” Al Grinned At Him, His White-gloved Grip Tightening On The Wooden Handle, Which Was Intricately Carved In The Shape Of A Naked, Writhing Woman. Nice. “and Your Momma Wanted You To Have A Brain,” He Said, Yanking The Door Open And Slamming It Into The Guy’s Face.

Dead Witch Walking Is Basically A Modern-day Witch Living In Cincinnati.

Be Reasonable. I Know You Can Be. If You Try Very, Very Hard.” - Al To Rachel

...everyone Had To Eat, But Eating People Wasn't Polite.

My Eyes Widened At The Ball Of Orange Fluff Squeezing Out From Under The Counter, Blinking And Stretching. I Looked Again, Not Believing. “it’s A Cat,” I Said, Winning The Pulitzer Prize For Incredible Intellect.

God, If You Ever Loved Me, Open My Eyes For Me When I'm Being This Stupid! (ron)

I Won’t Snatch, Harm, Or Scare To Death People With You Or Use Checking Up On You As An Excuse To Cause Trouble. You’re Worse Than My Mother, Rachel.” “mine, Too,” Jenks Muttered.

Just Because I Don't Wear My Heart On My Sleeve - " "you Don't Even Wear Your Heart In Your Chest.

Rachel,” Came A Raspy Voice From The Upper Level, And Both Trent And I Turned. It Was Quen, Wrapped In A Blanket As If It Was A Death Shroud, The Black-haired Intern At His Side, Supporting Him. His Hair Was Plastered To His Skull With Sweat, And I Could See Him Wavering As He Stood There. “don’t Touch Trenton,” He Said, His Gravelly Voice Clear In The Hush, “or I’m Going To Have To Come Down There…and Smack You Around.

This Is About Ku’sox, Isn’t It,” I Said, More Of A Statement Than A Question. He Made A Sighing Groan, And I Knew It Was. “then You’ve Met,” He Said, His Thoughts Clearly On The Day-walking Demon. “funny, You Don’t Look Dead.” His Hand Touched My Chin, Shifting It So He Could See Where I’d Been Pixed, The Blisters Itchy And Red. “i’m Surprised You Survived The Little Designer Dump. I Nearly Didn’t.

Your Hair Is A Tangled Mess,"he Said, Thinking He Liked It That Way, Like A Lion's Mane.

Being Poor Is Not An Indication Of Potential Or Worth. It’s A Lack Of Resources.

Ah, Jenks? It’s Not A Lake, It’s A Friggin’ Freshwater Ocean. Did You See The Size Of The Tanker Going Under The Bridge When We Came Into Town? The Wake From It Could Tip Us. I’m Not Canoeing It Unless Your Name Is Pocahontas.

Jenks Squinted At Me, And When Trent Nodded, The Pixy Gestured Sourly To Bis To Get On With It. A Four Inch Man Ruled Us All.

No," She Said Firmly. "i Want You To Stay When I Go. Break Tradition Again, My Love, And Burn Me Alone In The Home We Built. I Don't Want You With Me. You Aren't Done. You See Too Far Ahead. You Need To Make The World In Your Thoughts A Real One That Our Children Can Fly In." - Matalina To Jenks

The Mad Have A Grace All Their Own

What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Oooh! He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You Taking Care Of That Little Problem? I Should Give You A Bunny!" - Algaliarept

He Wanted That Again, That Feeling Of Standing With Her Against All Odds And Succeeding. He Wanted It So Bad, He Was Going To Risk Destroying Everything He And His Father Had Worked For.

[jenks]"i Think You're All Screwy In The Head," He Said When Bis Nodded His Encouragement. "but Go Ahead. I've Got Quen's Number In My Phone. I'll Call Him If You Both Explode In A Flash Of Black Underwear And Money So I Won't Have To Fly All The Way Home.

I Like The Second Better, But The First Fits With The Vampire Watching What She Can’t Have.” I Blinked. “what He Can’t Have,” I Amended, Flushing.

Breaking Rules Isn't Bad When What You're Doing Is More Important Than The Rule Itself

So Much For Playing Nice.tired, I Let My Eyes Shut While They Argued, Hoping I Didn’t Die In The Interim And Make The Problem Moot. I Wasn’t Ever Going To Get My Water. Ever.

Shut Up," I Hissed. Ticked That He Was Taller Than Me, I Stepped Up Onto A Nearby Coffee Table. "i'm Not In A Cage Anymore," I Said, Keeping Enough Presence Of Mind Not To Poke Him In The Chest With A Finger. His Face Went Startled, Then Cloric. "the Only Thing Between Your Head And My Foot Becoming Real Close And Personal Right Now Is My Questionable Professionalism. And If You Ever Threaten Me Again, I'll Slam You Halfway Across The Room Before You Can Say Number-two Pencil. Got It, You Tall Freak Of Nature?

Presence Of Mind

Good God,” I Whispered, Sitting On The Van’s Cot And Looking At My Legs, Horrified. They Were Hairy—not Wolf Hairy, But An I-couldn’t-find-my-razor-the-last-six-months Hairy. Utterly Grossed Out, I Took A Peek At My Armpit, Jerking Away. Oh, That’s Just…nasty.

I Suddenly Realized That A Bunch Of My Friends Needed Babysitters And Vowed To Start Screening My Calls.

I Ought To File Charges Of Uncommon Stupidity Against You For Letting Her Try This Alone." ~ Newt, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Her Elf Is Going To Do Just That,” He Said, The Red Glow Of The Ever-after Sun Turning His Hair Auburn, Almost As Red As Mine. “i Did Not Work This Hard At Getting Her To Accept Who She Is To Let You Take Your Spoiled Brat Of A Little-boy Temper Tantrum Out On Her. She Stays On My Side Of The Lines.

Big Lots,' I Said, Seeing The Eighty-year-old Oaks And Shady Lawns. The Houses Were Set Way Back And Had Iron Fences And Stone Drives. The Harder To Hear Your Neighbors Scream, My Dear,' Was David’s Answer, And I Sent My Head Up And Down In Agreement.

Maybe If I Didn't Say Anything About What Happened, We Could Get Back To The Way We Were. Ignoring A Problem Was A Perfectly Acceptable Way To Deal With It, As Long As Both People Agree Never To Bring It Up Again.

Avoiding Me, Quen Downed A Swallow Of Wine. "trent Is A Fine Young Man," He Said, Watching The Remaining Wine Swirl. "yes... " I Drawled, Cautiously. "if You Can Call A Drug Lord And Outlawed-medicine Manufacturer A Fine Young Man.

You Bet Your Grannie's Panties I Will.

Married Pixy, I Told Myself, Forcing My Eyes Back To The Shelf Of Ceramic Animals. Fifty-four Kids. Beautiful Wife, Sweet As Sugar, Who Would Kill Me In My Sleep While Apologizing For It.

There Is Black. There Is White. Gray Is A Cowardly Excuse To Mix Our Wants With Our Needs.

Rache,” He Said, Trying To Get Into My Line Of Sight. “what More Do You Need? God To Send A Telegram?" (jenks)

But The Same Things That Had Once Attracted Menow Left Me With A Mild Sense Of Unease. Ivy Would Say I Was Getting Smarter, But I Just Felt…empty.

Money Drives The World, But When Everything Falls Apart To Leave The Underpinnings Of Our Life Bare To The Scrutiny Of Critics And Thieves, The Only Thing Remaining, The Only Thing That Can't Be Taken Away, Is The Love You Hold For The People You Care About.

My Mother Isn't Crazy. She Simply Has A Harder Time Than Most Reconciling Her Reality With Everyone Else's Reality.

Piscary Killed People, But He Didn’t Have The Concept Of Pity Or Remorse. It Would Be Like Telling A Shark He Was A Bad Fish And To Stop Eating People. But Trent? He Knew He Was Doing Wrong, And He Did It Anyway.

Rose To Rachel: You Cry You Get Angry Then You Do Something About It.

Go To Sleep, Baby,mama Will Sing. Of Blue Butterflies, And Dragonfly Wings. Moonlight And Sunbeams, Raiments So Fine. Silver And Gold, For Baby Of Mine. Go To Sleep, Baby. Sister Will Tell, Of Wolves And Of Lambs, And Demons Who Fell.-pierce's Lullaby Kim Harrison (black Magic Sanction)

Algaliarept Varied Its Shape, Sifting Through My Mind Without Me Even Knowing To Choose What Scared Me The Most. Once It Had Been Ivy. Then Kisten —until I Had Pinned Him In An Elevator In A Foolish Moment Of Vampire-induced Passion. It's Hard To Be Scared Of Someone After You've French-kissed Him.

Ku’sox Was Indeed A Demon. In. The. Sun. I Needed Answers, But I Wanted Them From Al, Not…cute Socks Here.

Yes, But . . .” She Hesitated, Her Gaze Finally Coming To Me. “i Survived Because I Fell In Love.” With You Was Unspoken.

I Fell In Love With You

Boots And Leather Jackets Were Strewn On Her Bed, And What Looked Like A New Knife Set. She’d Taken A Class Last Winter And Was Dying To Try Them Out Legally On Someone.

He Just Wanted To Hold Her To Him And Tell Her It Would Be Okay, That She Had Survived And Was Beautiful.

Pierce Jerked His Hand From Trent And Pushed Himself Straight. “kalamack Industries,” He Said, Expression Twisted As He Wiped His Hand On His Pants. “i Knew Your Father.” “i Do Not Freaking Believe This,” I Said, Shifting To Stand Where I Could See Both Of Them. Al Beamed. “amazing Who You Can Meet In An Elevator.

Who’s Going To Keep Them From Wiping Us Out Species By Species? Not Me. We Aren’t Prepared For A New Demographic Of Magic-using Humans Who Are Sadistic, Power Hungry, Don’t Like Inderlanders, And See Genocide As An Acceptable Form Of Communication.

Two Thousand Miles, Rachel,” He Said Tightly, And I Guessed That No, It Didn’t Violate The Rules Of Whatever He Was Doing Out Here, Because He Sure Wasn’t Out Here Keeping The Coven From Attacking Me. “i Have Eaten Nothing But Slop For Two Days And Used Facilities I Wouldn’t Let My Dogs Urinate In. And What About That Couple In The Rv Outside Texas? I’ll Never Get That Memory Out Of My Head.” - Trent To Rachel

Your Welcome Means More To Me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, Than A Thousand Souls. Watching Rachel Work Is A Wonder Of One Catastrophe After Another.

You Had This All Planned, Didn’t You?' I Accused. 'thought You Could Come In Here And Seduce Me Like You Do Everyone Else?' It Wasn’t As If I Could Be Angry, Lying Atop Him As I Was, But I Tried.

By Tink's Diaphram...!

The Car Picked Up Speed, And The Sound Seemed To Lull Me.i Could Relax, I Thought As I Felt The Tingling Of Circulation In My Limbs. I Was In Trent’s Car, Wrapped In A Blanket, And Held In His Arms. He Wouldn’t Let Anything Hurt Me. He Wasn’t Singing, Though,i Mused.shouldn’t He Be Singing?

Actually, I Am Kind Of Busy Right Now,” I Drawled As I Settled Back Into The Chair And Closed My Eyes. “you Have To Make Melanin While The Sun Shines.

Hate Is All That Keeps Us Alive When Love Is Gone. You’re Almost There. Not Quite Ready To Let It Go Yet.

Behind The Fury, He Was Tired. He Was Tired Of Being Hauled Around And Shoved Into A Little Room. He Was Tired Of Trying For Me And Failing. And To Have Minias Know It, To Be Carted Off Under His Leash…it Was Almost Insulting. Maybe, If I Gave Al A Night Of Peace To Lick His Wounds And His Pride, He Would Grant That Same Courtesy To Me?

A Demon Was Asking Me What I Wanted. My Eyes Flicked To Al, And He Shrugged. “what Do You Want?” He Said Softly.

The Seraph Looked Up, And Pain Sliced Through My Head As Our Eyes Met, Almost Blinding Me. "i Honor You. You Can Do Something I Cannot," It Said Softly. "for All I Am And All I Have Been, You Are Human. You Are Loved For Your Inventiveness, Both Good And Bad. I Can Kill, But You Can Create. You Can Even Create...an End," It Said Wistfully. "that's Something I Will Never Be Able To Do. Accept This. Create.

What Was It With Me And Organized Beatings, Anyway?

Don't Fall Into The Trap Of Having To Have Everything Perfect To Write Or Wait Until The Mood Strikes You. If You Want It As A Job, Treat It Like A Job, And Just As You Don't Go To Work Only When You Feel Like It, You Have To Condition Yourself To Sit And Write Even When The Ideas Don't Flow.

As The Joke Goes, You Don’t Have To Be Faster Than The Wolf Chasing You, Just Faster Than Everyone Else Running Away.

She Just Threatened To Throw The Next Man Who Shoots At You Out The Window. Megan Is Awake. She Offered To Help. God, Trent, What Is It With You And Women?

I Will Compensate All Your One-inch, Two-inch Losses Because I Know How Important Every Inch Is To You Aged, Decrepit Men.

It’s A Cat. Boy, You Couldn’t Slip Anything Past Me Tonight.

Rachel Knew What She Was Doing. And When She Didn't, She Could Improvise On The Fly, Coming Up With Options That Left A Lot Of Collateral Damage But Usually Only Hurt Herself, Not The People Around Her. It Was One Of The Things He Would Never Admit That He Admired About Her.

We Were Innocent Once. How Could It Have Gone So Bad?

His Attitude, Though Always Bad, Has Changed Since He Helped Me Prep The Pandora Charm For Morgan. He Thinks I'm Falling For Her, As Ridiculous As That Sounds, And He Might Be Tempted To Take Matters Into His Hands.

I Was Cold, Hungry, And In A Hole In The Ground. But At Least I Had My Elven Porn, Damnit!

I Frowned, Wondering If Trent Would Mind Being The Size Of A Fairy For A Day. He Could Talk To The Newest Tenants In His Garden.

I Grew Up Reading Sf In The 70s And 80s, And I Like Fast, Thought-provoking Plots That Take You Places In Fully Realized Worlds.

Thought Provoking

All I'd Have To Do Then Was Roll With The Consequences Of Inviting Dewinged, Fanged Fairies Into Trent's Backyard. God, They Were Savage Looking. Served Him Right.

Just So You Know, I’ve Trusted You Since Camp.

I Thought It Odd That The Woman Was Over A Thousand Years Old But Thought The Microwave Was Primitive.

People Ask Me What I Do In My Spare Time, And I Look At Them Blankly, Truly Believing That I Don't Even Have Spare Time, And If I Did, I'd Probably Use It For Something Mundane, Like Chipping Away At The Mound Of Laundry Rising To Dangerous Proportions In The Back Room.

Typical" Kisten Said, His Eyes Dramatically Sad. "try To Do Something Nice For A Person, Cheer Her Up, And What Do I Get? Abused And Robbed.

She’s Not Much Of A Team Player, More Of A Team Yeller.

You Need Me, Just Whistle," He Said As He Arranged His Ball Cap Over His Eyes Against The Sun Leaking Through The Frost-emptied Branches. "you're Not Coming?" Lifting The Brim Of His Cap, He Eyed Me, "you Want Me To?" He Asked Blandly. "not Really, No." He Dropped The Brim And Laced His Hands Over His Middle. "then Why Are You Bitching? It's A Crime Scene, Not A Grocery Store.

Trent Looked Me Up And Down. “is That All You’re Going To Do?” My Pulse Quickened, And I Gazed At The Front Of The Basilica Where The Scratching Was Coming From. “i Might Have A Snack Later If Nothing Comes Through Those Doors.

She's Not Your Type. Since When Do I Have A Type?

They Weren’t Idiots, But I Attracted Trouble That Just Begged Me To Beat It Into Submission.

I Wish I Could Say I Write 9-5. It's Usually More Like 8-6, Every Day But The Weekends.

Making A Spell Is Easy. It's Trusting You Did It Right That's Hard.

I Have A Name,” I Grumped, My Stomach Pinching Me Harder. “yes, But It Has No Pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” He Said, Trying It Out In Different Ways. “no One Will Tremble In Terror At That. Oh My God!” He Said In A High Falsetto. “it’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

You Have Such Interesting Thoughts. No Wonder Witches Are Ephemeral. You Drive Yourself Crazy. You Should Simply Do What You Want Without The Soul-searching. It Will Be Easier In The Long Run, Rachel Mariana Morgan.

People Die, Rachel," Ceri Said, Her Cheeks Flushing. "not If I Can Help It," I Snapped. "and Not Of A Broken Heart. If You Could, I'd Be Dead Already.

It Is Not Always What We Do, Sa'han, But Who We Love That Makes Us Who We Are. Quen

Jenks Laughed, Taking To The Air And Saying, “give It Up, Fib Man. It’ll Take More Than You To Get Her Out. Remember What Ivy And I Did To Your Finest Last Spring? Add Rachel To That, And You Can Say Your Prayers.” From Behind Me Came Edden’s Dry “you Think Ivy Wants Another Stint As A Candy Striper?

Edden Called The Church First,” She Said By Way Of Greeting, Her Thin Eyebrows High As She Spotted Ford’s Arm Linked In Mine. “hi, Ford.” The Man Reddened At The Lilt She’d Put In Her Last Words, But I Wouldn’t Let Him Take His Arm Back. I Liked Being Needed. “he’s Having Trouble With The Background Emotion,” I Said. “and He’d Rather Be Abused By Yours?” Nice. (ivy, Rachel And Ford)

Uh... ," Ivy Stammered, And I Glanced Up To See Her Eyes Wide In Consideration. "i'm Kidding," I Said. "it Passed The Lethal-amulet Test, Remember?" "not That. You Keep It In Your Underwear Drawer?" I Hesitated, Wondering Why I Was Embarrassed. "well, Where Do You Put Your Elven Magic?" I Asked.

There Were No More Choices, No More Options, No More Clever Ways Out Of A Tough Situation. And The Rush, I Realized In A Brutal Wash Of Despair, Is A False God I’ve Chased My Entire Life. One That Cost Me Everything In The Blind Search For Sensation. My Entire Existence Amounted To Nothing.

It Was Starting To Smell Really Good In Here. And If I Liked What It Smelled Like, Then They Were Liking What They Were Smelling, And Ah…that Would Be Me.

I Tried To Breathe, Failing. I Clutched Her To Me, Tears Slipping From Under My Closed Eyes. It Was As If Her Soul Was Liquid Fire And I Could Feel Her Aura, Swirling About Mine. She Was Taking My Aura. But I Wanted To Give It To Her, To Cat Her In A Small Part Of Me And Protect Her. Her Needs Made Her So Fragile.

I'd Say She's Get Us Both Fired, But The I.s. Doesn't Let Anyone Go. Alive.

The Mistakes Don't Matter. It's What You Do When You Mess Up That Does.

And What’s Important To You?” I Asked. Marshal Thought While We Maneuvered Around Darth Vader, Who Was Struggling To Keep From Hitting The Wall With His Helmet Blocking His Vision. “success At Work. Having Fun Doing It. Caring For Someone And Supporting Their Interests Because You Like To See Them Happy. Having Them Care About And Support Yours Simply Because They Want To See You Happy.

Jenks, You Can Fly Me Up The Rest Of The Way To Trent, And Then Pow! I Give Trent His Statue." "pow, You'll Be Naked!" Jenks Exclaimed. (rachel And Jenks)

If It Was Up To Me, I’d Choose The Hard Path With The Easy Ending, Not The Easy Path With The Hard End.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies," Jenks Whispered, Empty And Bereft. "my Word Silent, Though I Should Howl. Muffled By Death, My Wings Can't Lift Me High Enough To Find You. I Feel You Within. Unaware Of My Pain. Not Knowing Why I Mourn. And Why I Breathe Alone.

Elves Apparently Had A Short Childhood. Not Like Witches, Who Seemed To Take Forever To Grow Up, According To Jenks.

I Thought Trent Should Get Over His Pixy Paranoia And Admit He Had An Eerie Attraction To Them, Like Every Other Pure-blood Elf I’d Met. So He Liked Pixies. I Liked Double-crunch Ice Cream, But You Didn’t See Me Avoiding It In The Grocery Store.

Rachel, You Take Her,” My Mother Said, Clearly Uncomfortable. “she Might Like You.” “no. Mom, No!” I Protested, But It Was My Mother We Were Talking About, And It Was Either Take The Baby Or Have Her Hit The Floor.

I Hate It When She Tabs A Line," Ivy Whispered To Kisten In The Corner. "you Ever See Anything Freakier Than That?" "you Should See The Face She Makes When She—" "shut Up, Kist!" I Exclaimed, My Eyes Flashing Open To Find Him Grinning At Me.

Rachel, We've Been Over This. This Is What I Do," He Said, Crumbs Of Whiten Cheese Falling From The Knife. "find A Way For Your Lofty, Unrealistic Ideals To Deal With It.

...it's Easier To Find A Way To Make Money At Something You Love Than To Learn To Love A Job That You Can Make Money At.

Ford Put A Hand To His Head. “back Up. Back Up!” He Cried. “you’re Too Close.” Heart Pounding, I Looked At The Eight Feet Between Us And Pressed Into The Fridge. “i Think He Meant For The Ghost To Back Up,” Jenks Said Dryly.

Hey!" I Exclaimed, Seeing The Total. "they're Charging Me Retail. Glenn!" I Complained. "they Can't Do That." I Shook It At Him. "i Shouldn't Have To Pay Retail!" "what Did You Expect? You Can Keep That. It's Your Copy." I Sat Back In A Huff And Shoved It In My Bag With My Sticky Scarf As He Typed His Slow, Painful Way Through My Report. "where's This Human Compassion I Keep Hearing About?" "that's It, Baby Doll," He Said, Voice Smoother Than Usual. He Was Laughing At Me.

Ivy Turned. 'he Bit You On The Neck?' She Said, Deadpan Serious But For Her Eyes. 'oh, Then It's Got To Be Love. She Won't Let Me Bite Her Neck.

Hovering Near Panic, Trying To Focus But Finding It Hard To Open My Eyes. My Heart Was Pounding. I Couldn’t Get Enough Air, And I Couldn’t Find The Desire To Push Her Away

One Person Can't Hold Anything, But Two Can Have The World.

And If He Is Lying And He Double-crosses You, I’ll Kill Him For You.” From Anyone Else, It Would Have Been An Idle Threat, And I Smiled, Feeling Loved. (ivy And Rachel)

I Staggered Backward-her One Hand Gripping My Shoulder, The Other Still Holding My Wrists Behind Her-and She Followed Until My Back Hit The Wall.

I Opine-i Think You're A Woman Of Your World,' He Said From The Far End Of The Couch. 'i Would Have A Hard Time Seeing You Pressed And Powdered, Dreading A Life Of Servitude Under The Name Of Marriage. You'd Die In That Mold. I Like You As You Are, Fiery And Ill Tempered.

Most Of The Upper Management Of I.s. Were Undead. I Always Thought It Was Because The Job Was Easier If You Didn't Have A Soul.

Rachel?” Came Ivy’s Voice From Her Room. “where’s My Sword?” “in The Foyer Where You Left It Last Week When The Evangelists Were Canvassing The Neighborhood

Endings Are Not Always Bad. Most Times They're Just Beginnings In Disguise.

Shot Me Twice. I Want My Name, Or I'm Going To Start Charging You A Fee Every Time I Field Something For You. And It's Going To Be Expensive. I'm Park Place. Bud-dy." His Red, Goat-slitted Eyes Squinted At Me From Over His Smoked Glasses. "you're More Like Oriental Avenue Right Now, Dove. What Are You On?

"i'm Going Back!" I Shouted, Standing To Put Some Distance Between Us In Case I Was Yanking Her Chain Too Hard And She Came After Me. "i'll Show Him," I Said, Waving An Arm. "i'll Sneak In. I'll Steal His Freaking Glasses And Mail Them Back To Him In A Freaking Birthday Card!"

Maybe I Could Be Friends With A Ghost. I Wouldn’t Be Able To Kill Him.

Death And Blood Didn’t Turn On A Vampire. Fear And The Chance To Take Blood Did. There Was A Difference.

She Thought I Could Find A Way To Save Her Soul When She Died And Became An Undead. Right Now, I Was Just Looking To Find The Rent Money. I’d Get To My Roommate’s Soul Later.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies. Jenks (black Magic Sanction)

What Are You?" I Rasped. It Smiled. "whatever Scares You.

What Are You Doing Now?” Al Questioned, Listing Heavily As He Tucked Another One Of Those Bottles Under His Arm And Staggered For The Cot Half Hidden Behind A Curtain. “seeing If Your Circumcision Is Gone? It Is.

Why?" I Said, Taking The Paper From Him As Al Smiled. "if It's Not What I Agreed To, I Will Burn Al's Gonads Off The First Chance I Get. Turn Around. I Need To Use Your Back For A Second." "ah, Hold On A Tick," Al Said, Snapping His Fingers Again And Catching The New Paper Drifting Down. "how Silly Of Me. This Is The One. Here.

I Was Having Coffee With My Bodyguard. I Didn't Expect To Be Hunting Bad Guys Until Later. Leather Before Sundown Is Tacky.

Life Was Going On, And No One But A Handful Of People Cared If I Lived Or Died.

If He Betrays You, I Will Finish What I Started With His Fingers," He Said, And I Shivered. "tell Him That.

I Could Sit And Watch Nature Documentaries With Jenks And The Kids The Rest Of The Night If I Wanted. And Trust Me, Watching A Dozen Pixies Scream As A Crocodile Chomped On A Zebra Was Something Not To Be Missed. They Invariably Cheered For The Crocodile, Not The Zebra.

I Said School Starts Tomorrow. I Didn’t Say I Was Going To Be There.

Wayde Yelled, And I Hit Him Again, Adrenaline Pulling A Scream Of Outrage From Me. He Went Quiet, And I Held My Breath To Make Sure I Could Hear Him Breathing. I Suppose I Could Have Used My Magic On Him, But This Was A Lot More Satisfying.

I’m Your Worst Nightmare Come To Walk This Side Of The Lines. I’m An Elf, Trent Something You’re Forgotten How To Be. You’re Scared Of Black Magic. I Can See Fear Shimmering Under Your Aura Like Sweat. I Live And Breathe Black Magic. I’m So Tainted With It That I Will Use It Without Thought, Without Guilt And Without Hesitation.

Worst Nightmares

It Was A Nice Bit Of Blackmail That Kept Him Off My Back, But He Refused To Take The Message That I Wasn’t Going To Work For Him. ’course, That Might Be My Fault…since I Seemed Unable To Say No When He Waved Enough Money At Me.

I Told You, Computers Are Like Women. If You Shout At Them Or Ask Them To Do Too Many Things At Once, They Shut Down And You Won't Even Get A Sniff" Pg. 4

Relief Spilled Into Me. He Wanted To Live. He Just Didn't Know How.

Al Was Cruel, Vindictive, Angry, Elegant, Powerful. He Gave Me Strength, He Gave Me Wisdom, Not Only About Magic, But About Myself. He Was A Lot Like Trent, Only Harsher Around The Edges.

She Was Getting Bitchy.that Was A Good Sign. "what Am I Supposed To Do Till You Get Back?" I Said, Patting The Smouldering Leather. "hide In My Closet? I"d Rather Be With You.

What Are You Doing Now?" Al Questioned "seeing If Your Circumcision Is Gone? It Is. My Expression Went Blank, And Trent Hesitated. He Looked At Me, And I Put A Hand To My Mouth, Face Flaming. "oh. My. God. Trent. I'm Sorry" "um" Trent Said, Clearly At A Loss. "call Me Tomorrow," Al Said Seriously, "i've Got A Curse That Will Take Care Of That. Unless You Like The Snake In A Turtleneck Look

Okay, You Drive," She Said. "i'll Sit With M Head Hanging Out Of The Window Like A Golden Retriever.

Golden Retrievers

And While Seeing Trent In His Tighty-whities Would Make My Decade, I’d Found Out Long Ago That I Couldn’t Stay Mad At A Man Wearing Nothing But Underwear. They Looked So Charmingly Vulnerable.

Growing Up Is Hard, Love. Otherwise Everyone Would Do It.

In A Few Hours, I’m Going To Be Banished To The Surface, My Belongings Raffled Off As Novelty Items And My Living Space Given To Someone Else—my Reputation Destroyed. I’d Rather Have Your Head Than Your Soul At This Point In My Illustrious Career.” - Al

Sweet Mother Of Chaos," He Breathed. "rachel, You Are Indeed One Of Us. Have Your Time In The Sun. You're Worth The Extra Wait.

I'm Only Going To Be Here For A Time, Then Leave You." His Gaze Met Mine. "and I Will Cry When I Go, Because I Could Love You Forever.

I Smell Pancakes," Al Said As He Jauntily Smacked Pierce's Hat Back On The Witch's Head. "did The Runt Make You Breakfast?" Al Said, Leaning Over The Stove. "quickest Way To A Woman's Crotch Is Through Her Gullet, Eh?" He Said, Leering At Pierce, Who Was Now Rinsing Out The Percolator. "is It Working? I'd Be Curious To Know. I'd Buy Her A Cake Or Something.

A Clipboard And A Hard Hat Could Get You Just About Anywhere.

My God", He Whispered. What Have I Done To Her? He Thought, Humbled. The Spell Was Broken, But It Wasn't Sealed, And Her Soul Was Bare To Him, The Scars Of Her Tragic Past And Her Triumphs Over Pain And Her Aching Need To Find Her Place. He Just Wanted To Hold Her To Him And Tell Her It Would Be Okay, That She Had Survived And Was Beautiful.

Music Moves Society More Than Most People Realize. In My Opinion, It's A Soft Manipulator Of Influence And Change.

It Stinks Of Trains And That Chili With The Chocolate In It. Ooooh, Books!" He Exclaimed Suddenly, Making A Beeline For The Small Library. (al)

I’m Not Going To Pick Her Up And Carry Her Screaming To The Basement,” Trent Said. “it’s A Workday. Besides, She Has A Crutch.” “crutch Or No, She’s Hurt!” Ceri Protested. “i Mean,” Trent Said Intently, “she Can Hit Me With It If I Do Something She Doesn’t Like.

Men,” She Said As She Took My Arm And Led Me To The Brightly Lit Room. “they Forget We Need To See The Outcome Of Pain Before We Willingly Put Ourselves Through It. How Else Would We Suffer Nine Months To Have A Beautiful Child? We Already Know We Have Guts.

Knowledge Is Power. Ignorance Is Bliss. But Curiosity—even If It Had Killed The Cat—is King.

Rachel, My Itchy Witch," Al Said As He Tugged The Lace At His Cuffs. "we've Talked About This. You Simply Must Stop Collecting Nasty Little Men. How Many Do You Really Need, Love?

Inside Junior's It Was Peaceful. I Can Change That, I Thought Dryly.

You Cannot Thrash The Person Who Makes You Coffee. It's A Rule Somewhere.

For All His Sourness, He Was Ruled By His Heart.

Cincinnati Morgue, An Equal-opportunity Service Since 1966.

I’d Given Up On The White Picket Fence After Kisten Had Died—finding Out My Kids Would Be Demons Was The Nail In The Coffin.

Of Course I’m Shielding Her, You Broken Feather!

Al's Voice Was Faint But Resolute. "stand Up. Try To Look Sexy." "in A Bedsheet?" I Complained, Running My Hands Down It. "how Can I Look Sexy In A Bedsheet?" He Cleared His Throat, And I Grimaced. "never Mind.

I'd Never Seen A Man Who Could Outshop Me, But Jenks Was A Master.

Don’t You Listen To Them, Rexy,” I Cooed, And The Cat Sniffed My Nose. “rachel Is A Smart Girl. She’s Not Going To Go Out With A Ghost No Matter How Sexy He Is. She Knows Better. Jenkskie Wenskie Can Just Get Bent.” I Beamed At Jenks, And He Made An Ugly Face. “rache, Put My Cat Down Before You Mess With Her Kitty Brain.

Tension Pulled My Eyes Open When Her Fingers Traced A Trail Down My Neck. Sensation Blossomed, And I Threw My Head Back And Sucked In The Air. Her Arm Slipped Around My Waist, Catching Me Before I Fell.

I'll Always Be Here," He Said Softly. "you Can Never Fill My Need, Never Drive Me Away, No Matter How Much You Give Me. The Good Or The Bad. I'll Always Be Hungry For Emotion, Always And Forever, And I Can Feel You Hurting. I Can Turn It To Joy. If You'll Let Me.

Sure, He Had A Wife And Fifty-four Kids, But He Looked Like A College Freshman. A Yummy College Freshman Majoring In Oh-my-god-i-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.

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