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Edden Called The Church First,” She Said By Way Of Greeting, Her Thin Eyebrows High As She Spotted Ford’s Arm Linked In Mine. “hi, Ford.” The Man Reddened At The Lilt She’d Put In Her Last Words, But I Wouldn’t Let Him Take His Arm Back. I Liked Being Needed. “he’s Having Trouble With The Background Emotion,” I Said. “and He’d Rather Be Abused By Yours?” Nice. (ivy, Rachel And Ford)

-Kim Harrison

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Edden Called The Church

Kim Harrison

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Edden Called The Church First,” She Said By Way Of Greeting, Her Thin Eyebrows High As She Spotted Ford’s Arm Linked In Mine. “hi, Ford.” The Man Reddened At The Lilt She’d Put In Her Last Words, But I Wouldn’t Let Him Take His Arm Back. I Liked Being Needed. “he’s Having Trouble With The Background Emotion,” I Said. “and He’d Rather Be Abused By Yours?” Nice. (ivy, Rachel And Ford)

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She Had Given Me A Piece Of What Made Her Life Sane.

My God", He Whispered. What Have I Done To Her? He Thought, Humbled. The Spell Was Broken, But It Wasn't Sealed, And Her Soul Was Bare To Him, The Scars Of Her Tragic Past And Her Triumphs Over Pain And Her Aching Need To Find Her Place. He Just Wanted To Hold Her To Him And Tell Her It Would Be Okay, That She Had Survived And Was Beautiful.

Why?" I Said, Taking The Paper From Him As Al Smiled. "if It's Not What I Agreed To, I Will Burn Al's Gonads Off The First Chance I Get. Turn Around. I Need To Use Your Back For A Second." "ah, Hold On A Tick," Al Said, Snapping His Fingers Again And Catching The New Paper Drifting Down. "how Silly Of Me. This Is The One. Here.

You Try Getting Through The Hollows Traffic With A Stoned Redhead Hanging Out The Window Shouting, 'i'm King Of The World!' ~lee

My Blood Rose, Mixing With My Lingering Fear Of The Unknown To Drive Her To A Fever Pitch. Her Lips Touched My Lower Neck And Vertigo Spun The Room, Burning Tracings Of Desire To Settle Deep And Low In Me. I Exhaled Into The Promise Of More To Come, Calling It To Me. I Breathed It In Like Smoke, The Rising Passion Starting A Feeling Of Abandonment Inside. I Didn’t Care Anymore If It Was Right Or Wrong. It Just Was.

He Didn't Want Lucy To Grow Up Feeling Alone, Surrounded By Everything And Having Nothing.

Memories Of Ice And Trent Surfaced, And I Wrapped My Arms Around My Middle. I Had Saved Him, And He Had Saved Me. What Was Wrong With Us?

I Grew Up Reading Sf In The 70s And 80s, And I Like Fast, Thought-provoking Plots That Take You Places In Fully Realized Worlds.

Thought Provoking

He Grinned. “that’s Because Pixies Are Ever-after. We’re Magic, Baby. Just Ask Matalina.

I Was Having Coffee With My Bodyguard. I Didn't Expect To Be Hunting Bad Guys Until Later. Leather Before Sundown Is Tacky.

Endings Are Not Always Bad. Most Times They're Just Beginnings In Disguise.

You Need A New Hobby, Rachel. Something Other Than Nasty Little Men With Visions Of World Domination.

Relief Spilled Into Me. He Wanted To Live. He Just Didn't Know How.

Jenks Enthusiastically Leaned Against The Counter And Opened The Box. Bypassing The Plastic Knife, He Broke Off About A Third Of It And Took A Huge Bite. Ivy Watched, Appalled, And I Shrugged. His Mouth Moving As He Hummed, Jenks Finished Unpacking The Sacks. I Was Half Dead, Ivy Was Whoring Herself To Keep Me Safe, But Jenks Was Okay As Long As He Had Chocolate.

No," She Said Firmly. "i Want You To Stay When I Go. Break Tradition Again, My Love, And Burn Me Alone In The Home We Built. I Don't Want You With Me. You Aren't Done. You See Too Far Ahead. You Need To Make The World In Your Thoughts A Real One That Our Children Can Fly In." - Matalina To Jenks

"we Were The Pair. One Too Afraid To Feel Anything Lest She Lose Control Of Her Ironclad Hold On Her Emotions, And The Other So Hungry To Feel Anything That She´d Risk Her Free Will For One Night Of Fun.".

I'd Say She's Get Us Both Fired, But The I.s. Doesn't Let Anyone Go. Alive.

People Die, Rachel," Ceri Said, Her Cheeks Flushing. "not If I Can Help It," I Snapped. "and Not Of A Broken Heart. If You Could, I'd Be Dead Already.

You Look Like The Vamp Who Bled The Cat.

I Just Want My Name Back So My Life Can Go Back To Chaotic And Weird Instead Of Chaotic And Desperate.

Was Using “dead-man’s-toe” Morally Okay If The Man’s Relatives Had Knowingly Sold Him For Parts?

Rachel Knew What She Was Doing. And When She Didn't, She Could Improvise On The Fly, Coming Up With Options That Left A Lot Of Collateral Damage But Usually Only Hurt Herself, Not The People Around Her. It Was One Of The Things He Would Never Admit That He Admired About Her.

I Like The Second Better, But The First Fits With The Vampire Watching What She Can’t Have.” I Blinked. “what He Can’t Have,” I Amended, Flushing.

Can We Get Back To How We’re Going To Kill Nick? And What’s This About A Dead Body? You’d Better Start Talking Quick, Ivy, ’cause I’m Not Going To Play Hide-and-seek With A Dead Guy In My Trunk. I Did That In College, And I’m Not Going To Do It Again.” A Smile Quirked Ivy’s Mouth. “really?” She Asked, And I Flushed.

Al's Voice Was Faint But Resolute. "stand Up. Try To Look Sexy." "in A Bedsheet?" I Complained, Running My Hands Down It. "how Can I Look Sexy In A Bedsheet?" He Cleared His Throat, And I Grimaced. "never Mind.

...treat People With Understanding When You Can, And Fake It When You Can't Until You Do Understand.

We Were Innocent Once. How Could It Have Gone So Bad?

She’s Not Much Of A Team Player, More Of A Team Yeller.

Being Poor Is Not An Indication Of Potential Or Worth. It’s A Lack Of Resources.

Five Trolls In A Dra-a-a-a-ag,' The Four-inch Man Sang From My Shoulder. 'four Purple Condoms, Three French Ticklers, Two Horny Vamps And A Succubus In The Snow.

Trent, Do You Have Any Weapons? Like A Gun?” He Looked At Me In Disgust. “you’re Here To Protect Me,” He Said As He Closed The Distance Between Us And Stood Beside Me. “you Didn’t Bring A Weapon?” “yeah, I Brought A Weapon,” I Snapped As I Brought My Splat Gun Out And Aimed It At The Ceiling Where The Sounds Were Coming From. “i Just Thought That Since You’re A Freaking Murderer You Might Have A Gun, Too (...)

Avoiding Me, Quen Downed A Swallow Of Wine. "trent Is A Fine Young Man," He Said, Watching The Remaining Wine Swirl. "yes... " I Drawled, Cautiously. "if You Can Call A Drug Lord And Outlawed-medicine Manufacturer A Fine Young Man.

I’m Not Going Anywhere With You, You Little Shoemaker,” I Said (rachel To Trent)

A Witch, A Vampire, And A Pixy Walk Into A Bar, I Thought As I Led The Way Into The Squirrel’s End. It Was Early, And The Sun Had Yet To Set When The Door Swung Shut Behind Jenks, Sealing Us In The Warm Air Smelling Faintly Of Smoke. Immediately Nick Yanked It Open To Come In Behind Us. And There’s The Punch Line.

Sure, He Had A Wife And Fifty-four Kids, But He Looked Like A College Freshman. A Yummy College Freshman Majoring In Oh-my-god-i-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.

And I’m Not Spying! I’m Evaluating!” “it’s The Same Difference!

I’ve Got Your Back. Nothing Alive Will Ever Hurt You If I Have Breath In Me. And Nothing Dead Will Hurt You If I Don’t.” (kisten)

I Never Considered I Might Make A Career Out Of Writing As I Was Going To School, So When I Did Turn My Attentions That Way, I Was Very Ill Prepared, Having Only What I Read As A Guide, And No Formal Training Whatsoever. I Credit That Very Ignorance With A Great Deal Of My Success.

But He's Rachel Candy!" -both Jenks And Al

Dead Witch Walking Is Basically A Modern-day Witch Living In Cincinnati.

I Pushed Him Away, Catching Lee's Awe That I Was Not Only Standing With A Demon Outside A Circle, But That Al Was Treating Me Like An Equal. Or Maybe A Favorite Pet, I Amended As Al Caught Me When I Started To Tilt.

Newt Spun, Making Her Robe Unfurl. “he’s My Familiar, Bought And Paid For. I Can Claim Anything Of His. Even His Life.” Al Cleared His Throat Nervously. “that’s Good To Know,” He Said Lightly. “important Safety Tip. Rachel, Write That Down Somewhere As Lesson Number One.

It Stinks Of Trains And That Chili With The Chocolate In It. Ooooh, Books!" He Exclaimed Suddenly, Making A Beeline For The Small Library. (al)

Actually, I Am Kind Of Busy Right Now,” I Drawled As I Settled Back Into The Chair And Closed My Eyes. “you Have To Make Melanin While The Sun Shines.

If I’d Been Hit With The Same Thing As Glenn, I Probably Had His Doctor. The Thought Seemed About Right When Glenn Shrank Back In His Chair With A Guilty Expression. The Tomato, Too, Was In Hiding Somewhere. I Didn’t Want To Know Where. I Truly Didn’t.

I Have To Save The World Tomorrow, And I Don't Even Know What I'm Going To Wear Yet.--rachel Morgan

Looking At Everything, I Started To Feel Nauseous, As If The Seventies Had Taken Refuge Here Against Extinction And Were Preparing To Take Over The World.

One Person Can't Hold Anything, But Two Can Have The World.

Coffee. I Could Smell Coffee. Coffee Would Make Everything Better.

I'm Only Going To Be Here For A Time, Then Leave You." His Gaze Met Mine. "and I Will Cry When I Go, Because I Could Love You Forever.

Wayde Yelled, And I Hit Him Again, Adrenaline Pulling A Scream Of Outrage From Me. He Went Quiet, And I Held My Breath To Make Sure I Could Hear Him Breathing. I Suppose I Could Have Used My Magic On Him, But This Was A Lot More Satisfying.

It’s A Cat. Boy, You Couldn’t Slip Anything Past Me Tonight.

Join Us Next Time For Days Of The Undead When Rachel Learns Her Long Lost Brother Is Really A Crown Prince From Outer Space.

See, This Was Why I Liked Coffee. You Couldn’t Screw Up Making Coffee. Even The Bad Stuff Was Good.

And While Seeing Trent In His Tighty-whities Would Make My Decade, I’d Found Out Long Ago That I Couldn’t Stay Mad At A Man Wearing Nothing But Underwear. They Looked So Charmingly Vulnerable.

A Compassion Swirled Form Nowhere In The High I Was Lost In. She Needed Me. She Needed Me To Accept Her For What She Was. And When I Realized That I Had It Within Myself To Give Her At Least This Small Part Of Me, The Last Of My Fear Melted Away.

How Many Mistakes Can One Life Survive?

Keep Your Vampire Mitts Off Me. I'm Not Your Friggin' Blood Toy.

I Was Cold, Hungry, And In A Hole In The Ground. But At Least I Had My Elven Porn, Damnit!

She Was Getting Bitchy.that Was A Good Sign. "what Am I Supposed To Do Till You Get Back?" I Said, Patting The Smouldering Leather. "hide In My Closet? I"d Rather Be With You.

Boots And Leather Jackets Were Strewn On Her Bed, And What Looked Like A New Knife Set. She’d Taken A Class Last Winter And Was Dying To Try Them Out Legally On Someone.

So Much For Playing Nice.tired, I Let My Eyes Shut While They Argued, Hoping I Didn’t Die In The Interim And Make The Problem Moot. I Wasn’t Ever Going To Get My Water. Ever.

Do You Hurt Uncle Kisten', He Asked.(...) But Kisten Beat Me To It. “only My Heart, Audric,” He Said. “ms. Rachel Is Like The Sun. See Her Sparkling There With The Wind In Her Hair And Fire In Her Eyes? You Can’t Catch The Sun. You Can Only Feel Its Touch On Your Face. And If You Get Too Much Of It, It Burns You.

And What’s Important To You?” I Asked. Marshal Thought While We Maneuvered Around Darth Vader, Who Was Struggling To Keep From Hitting The Wall With His Helmet Blocking His Vision. “success At Work. Having Fun Doing It. Caring For Someone And Supporting Their Interests Because You Like To See Them Happy. Having Them Care About And Support Yours Simply Because They Want To See You Happy.

That’s My Girl,” She Said, Her Eyes Holding A Shared Pain As She Saw My Confusion. “al, Where Are You Going To Put Her? Not In Your Room. She’d Pull A Line Through You And Kill You When You Hog The Blankets. I’ll Take The Waif In. I Promise I’ll Bring This One Up Properly.

Tell Me Where You Want It,” I Said. Minias Drew Back, His Purple Robes Shifting About His Ankles. “you’re Asking Me?” “well, Unless You Want A Big R On Your Forehead.

I'll Always Be Here," He Said Softly. "you Can Never Fill My Need, Never Drive Me Away, No Matter How Much You Give Me. The Good Or The Bad. I'll Always Be Hungry For Emotion, Always And Forever, And I Can Feel You Hurting. I Can Turn It To Joy. If You'll Let Me.

My Office Is Trashed,” He Grumped As He Squished Across His Damp Carpet And Took The Coffee That I Was Holding Out To Him. “why Are You Smiling? My Fish Are Dead.

Trent Looked Me Up And Down. “is That All You’re Going To Do?” My Pulse Quickened, And I Gazed At The Front Of The Basilica Where The Scratching Was Coming From. “i Might Have A Snack Later If Nothing Comes Through Those Doors.

Good Lord, I Thought, Squinting At The Bright Glare Of A Late-july Morning. No Wonder I Slept Through This. It Was Noisy With Shrieking Birds, And Already Hot.

You Tried To Slide His Original Curse Back Onto Him?” Al Said In Wonder. “at The Restaurant? And I Stopped You? Sweet Mother Pus Bucket!” He Exclaimed, And I Swear, Dust Sifted From The Ceiling. “rachel, We Have To Work On This Communication Thing.

I Staggered Backward-her One Hand Gripping My Shoulder, The Other Still Holding My Wrists Behind Her-and She Followed Until My Back Hit The Wall.

Ivy's Cook The Steak, Don't Stake The Cook Apron.

Confused, I Asked, "the Coven's What?" "plumber," Ivy Said, Looking Pale As She Leaned On Glenn. "you Know. Stops Leaks?" Oh Goodie. I'm A Leak.

Al Was Standing A Bare Three Feet Away, His Mood Almost Jovial As He Took The Paper And It Vanished In A Wash Of Black Sparkles. “thank You, Rachel,” He Said, Carefully Reaching For My Hand As Trent Stiffened. “welcome Back, My Itchy Witch.

Rachel, You Summon Demons. You’re Good At It. Get Over It, Then Find A Way To Make It Work For You. It’s Not Going To Go Away.

He Froze As The Scent Of Her Hair Met Him. It Was Touching His Cheek,tickling Him. I Cant Afford This, He Thought, But He Didnt Move, Watching Her Finger Trace The New Line. "he Cracked My Mirror,"she Said, Clearly Angry.

Together We Made Our Way From The Service Entrances In Back To The Front, Jenks Shedding Clothes And Handing Them To Me To Stuff In My Bag Every Few Yards. It Was Terribly Distracting, But I Managed To Avoid Running Into The Dumpsters And Recycling Bins.

Hey, Ah, Does Anyone Want A Cookie Or Something? Oh Yeah. A Cookie. That Would Make Everything Better. Dunked In A Shot Of Tequila , Maybe? Or Better Yet, Just The Bottle? Yeah, That Ought To Do It.

Your Welcome Means More To Me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, Than A Thousand Souls. Watching Rachel Work Is A Wonder Of One Catastrophe After Another.

Two Thousand Miles, Rachel,” He Said Tightly, And I Guessed That No, It Didn’t Violate The Rules Of Whatever He Was Doing Out Here, Because He Sure Wasn’t Out Here Keeping The Coven From Attacking Me. “i Have Eaten Nothing But Slop For Two Days And Used Facilities I Wouldn’t Let My Dogs Urinate In. And What About That Couple In The Rv Outside Texas? I’ll Never Get That Memory Out Of My Head.” - Trent To Rachel

I Frowned, Wondering If Trent Would Mind Being The Size Of A Fairy For A Day. He Could Talk To The Newest Tenants In His Garden.

Get Your Hand Off Me,” I Exclaimed, Voice Loud With Misplaced Anger As I Yanked Away From His Grip. “i’m A Professional, Not Some Distraught Girlfriend.” Well, I Was That Too, But I Knew How To Act At A Crime Scene.

Jenks Laughed, Taking To The Air And Saying, “give It Up, Fib Man. It’ll Take More Than You To Get Her Out. Remember What Ivy And I Did To Your Finest Last Spring? Add Rachel To That, And You Can Say Your Prayers.” From Behind Me Came Edden’s Dry “you Think Ivy Wants Another Stint As A Candy Striper?

Big Lots,' I Said, Seeing The Eighty-year-old Oaks And Shady Lawns. The Houses Were Set Way Back And Had Iron Fences And Stone Drives. The Harder To Hear Your Neighbors Scream, My Dear,' Was David’s Answer, And I Sent My Head Up And Down In Agreement.

You Had This All Planned, Didn’t You?' I Accused. 'thought You Could Come In Here And Seduce Me Like You Do Everyone Else?' It Wasn’t As If I Could Be Angry, Lying Atop Him As I Was, But I Tried.

You Are The Devil To Talk To, Rachel," He Said Curtly. "will You Shut Up And Listen?

So I’ve Seen My Boys Do That A Hundred Times With The Neighboring Pixy Girls. Give Her Their Favorite Seed And Be Too Flustered To Tell Her What It Was.

I Didn’t Know What I Was Going To Say, A Feeling That Was Compounded When The Line Clicked Open And Trent’s Very Muzzy Voice Murmured, “rachel? Mmm, Hi.

I Felt Sick. Buying Kisten’s And My Safety From Piscary Was So Wrong. But It Was Either That Or Deal With A Demon, And I’d Rather Keep My Soul Clean And Let My Morals Get Dingy.

There Were No More Choices, No More Options, No More Clever Ways Out Of A Tough Situation. And The Rush, I Realized In A Brutal Wash Of Despair, Is A False God I’ve Chased My Entire Life. One That Cost Me Everything In The Blind Search For Sensation. My Entire Existence Amounted To Nothing.

The Demon Had Trouble Remembering What She Was Doing, But She Was Powerful, Sort Of The Crazy Wendy Of The Lost Lord-of-the-flies Boys.

Jenks Made A Move To Follow, Probably Forgetting He Didn’t Have Wings Anymore. He Leaned Forward And Fell To The Floor, Face First. “jenks!” I Shouted When He Hit With A Dull Smack And Started Swearing.

She Smiled With The Warmth Of A Penguin.

Your Hair Is A Tangled Mess,"he Said, Thinking He Liked It That Way, Like A Lion's Mane.

Rachel, You Take Her,” My Mother Said, Clearly Uncomfortable. “she Might Like You.” “no. Mom, No!” I Protested, But It Was My Mother We Were Talking About, And It Was Either Take The Baby Or Have Her Hit The Floor.

Kisten, Please Don't Leave Me," I Begged, And His Eyes Opened. "i'm Cold," He Said, Fear Rising In His Blue Eyes. I Held Him Tighter. "i'm Holding You. It's Going To Be Okay." "tell Ivy," He Said With A Gasp, Clenching In On Himself. "tell Ivy That It Wasn't Her Fault. And Tell Her That At The End... You Remember Love. I Don't Think... We Lose Our Souls... At All. I Think God Keeps Them For Us Until We... Come Home. I Love You, Rachel." "i Love You, Too, Kisten," I Sobbed, And As I Watched, His Eyes, Memorizing My Face, Silvered, And He Died.

You Bet Your Grannie's Panties I Will.

I’m Your Worst Nightmare Come To Walk This Side Of The Lines. I’m An Elf, Trent Something You’re Forgotten How To Be. You’re Scared Of Black Magic. I Can See Fear Shimmering Under Your Aura Like Sweat. I Live And Breathe Black Magic. I’m So Tainted With It That I Will Use It Without Thought, Without Guilt And Without Hesitation.

Worst Nightmares

My Mother Isn't Crazy. She Simply Has A Harder Time Than Most Reconciling Her Reality With Everyone Else's Reality.

Death And Blood Didn’t Turn On A Vampire. Fear And The Chance To Take Blood Did. There Was A Difference.

[jenks]"i Think You're All Screwy In The Head," He Said When Bis Nodded His Encouragement. "but Go Ahead. I've Got Quen's Number In My Phone. I'll Call Him If You Both Explode In A Flash Of Black Underwear And Money So I Won't Have To Fly All The Way Home.

He Wanted That Again, That Feeling Of Standing With Her Against All Odds And Succeeding. He Wanted It So Bad, He Was Going To Risk Destroying Everything He And His Father Had Worked For.

You!” She Said, Stepping Forward With A Vehement Expression And Her Finger Pointed. Heart Pounding, I Pressed Into Al. Funny How He Seemed So Much Safer Now. (newt, Rachel And Al)

He's Going To Hurt You," Al Said, Looking At Pierce. "i Can Take Care Of You, Teach You To Survive. Be There For You, Even If You Do Hate Me." I Shivered. "i Don't Want Him," I Said, And Al Turned Away, Seeming Smaller Somehow.

I Wish I Could Say I Write 9-5. It's Usually More Like 8-6, Every Day But The Weekends.

I’d Given Up On The White Picket Fence After Kisten Had Died—finding Out My Kids Would Be Demons Was The Nail In The Coffin.

Her Elf Is Going To Do Just That,” He Said, The Red Glow Of The Ever-after Sun Turning His Hair Auburn, Almost As Red As Mine. “i Did Not Work This Hard At Getting Her To Accept Who She Is To Let You Take Your Spoiled Brat Of A Little-boy Temper Tantrum Out On Her. She Stays On My Side Of The Lines.

Okay, I Like Him,” I Admitted. “but It Takes More Than A Nice Body, Jenks. Jeez, I Do Have A Little Depth. You’ve Got A Great Body, And You Don’t See Me Trying To Get Into Your Fruit Of The Looms.

Ford Put A Hand To His Head. “back Up. Back Up!” He Cried. “you’re Too Close.” Heart Pounding, I Looked At The Eight Feet Between Us And Pressed Into The Fridge. “i Think He Meant For The Ghost To Back Up,” Jenks Said Dryly.

For All His Sourness, He Was Ruled By His Heart.

Where Did He Go!” He Bellowed, Gloved Hands Clenching. “i Had Him In A Snare That Would Take Alexander The Great A Lifetime To Untwist, And He Did It In A Week!” Al Took A Step, Pinwheeling As His Booted Heel Found An Ice Cube.

Hapa Was Like Mint. You Could Rip It Up, And Six Months Later, It Was Back, Healthier Than Ever. Mint Smelled Better, Though, And You Could Make Juleps Out Of It. I Don’t Know What I Could Make Out Of Hapa. Compost, Maybe.

I Ought To File Charges Of Uncommon Stupidity Against You For Letting Her Try This Alone." ~ Newt, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

They Tried To Kill Me,” He Said, His Brow Furrowed As He Glared At Them. “you Saw Them!” “yeah?” I Spouted Off. “they Weren’t Very Good At It!” (trent And Rachel)

I Hate It When She Tabs A Line," Ivy Whispered To Kisten In The Corner. "you Ever See Anything Freakier Than That?" "you Should See The Face She Makes When She—" "shut Up, Kist!" I Exclaimed, My Eyes Flashing Open To Find Him Grinning At Me.

Anything Worth Having Is Going To Be Hard

Anything Worth Having

Breaking Rules Isn't Bad When What You're Doing Is More Important Than The Rule Itself

You Are Your Father's Daughter,' He Said, The Skin Around His Eyes Tightening. 'trent Is His Father's Son. Apart, You Are Annoying. Together...you Have The Potential To Be A Problem.

You Can Trust Me To Keep My Word. I Always Keep My Word, Promises Or Threats.

She Just Threatened To Throw The Next Man Who Shoots At You Out The Window. Megan Is Awake. She Offered To Help. God, Trent, What Is It With You And Women?

And Then There Are The Rare Ones Who Know Love, Who Understand It. Who Freely Give Of Themselves, Demanding Only A Return Of That Love,that Trust.

I've Found That When I'm Having Trouble Solidifying A Character Or A Scene, That Music Will Often Free My Subconscious Just That Last Little Bit To Allow Me To Move Forward, And Often It's In A Direction That I Didn't Expect, But Is 100 Percent True To The Character.

There Is Black. There Is White. Gray Is A Cowardly Excuse To Mix Our Wants With Our Needs.

Growing Up Is Hard, Love. Otherwise Everyone Would Do It.

Of Course I’m Shielding Her, You Broken Feather!

His Attitude, Though Always Bad, Has Changed Since He Helped Me Prep The Pandora Charm For Morgan. He Thinks I'm Falling For Her, As Ridiculous As That Sounds, And He Might Be Tempted To Take Matters Into His Hands.

Though No One Had Been Buried Here For Almost Thirty Years, The Grass Was Mown By Yours Truly. I Felt A Tidy Graveyard Made A Happy Graveyard.

Al Was Looking At Me In Disbelief. “not Your Lover?” “no.” “but He Is Rachel Candy,” Al Said, His Confusion Too Honest To Be Faked.

I Opine-i Think You're A Woman Of Your World,' He Said From The Far End Of The Couch. 'i Would Have A Hard Time Seeing You Pressed And Powdered, Dreading A Life Of Servitude Under The Name Of Marriage. You'd Die In That Mold. I Like You As You Are, Fiery And Ill Tempered.

...everyone Had To Eat, But Eating People Wasn't Polite.

Did Something Happen To The Sanctity Of Your Church Again?" My Eye Twitched. "newt Broke It So She Could Look In My Closet." Again.

Good God,” I Whispered, Sitting On The Van’s Cot And Looking At My Legs, Horrified. They Were Hairy—not Wolf Hairy, But An I-couldn’t-find-my-razor-the-last-six-months Hairy. Utterly Grossed Out, I Took A Peek At My Armpit, Jerking Away. Oh, That’s Just…nasty.

I Told You, Computers Are Like Women. If You Shout At Them Or Ask Them To Do Too Many Things At Once, They Shut Down And You Won't Even Get A Sniff" Pg. 4

But A Slow, Deeply Satisfied Smile Came Over Him, And His Breath Quickened. 'so Softly It Starts,' He Whispered. 'foolishly Clever And With An Unsurvivable Trust. It Just Saved Your Miserable Life, That Questionable Show Of Thought, My Itchy-witch.' Al’s Smile Shifted, Becoming Lighter. 'and Now You Will Live To Possibly Regret It.

Shot Me Twice. I Want My Name, Or I'm Going To Start Charging You A Fee Every Time I Field Something For You. And It's Going To Be Expensive. I'm Park Place. Bud-dy." His Red, Goat-slitted Eyes Squinted At Me From Over His Smoked Glasses. "you're More Like Oriental Avenue Right Now, Dove. What Are You On?

Shouts Of Dismay Rose As The Red Flesh Splattered Against The Table. It Was Only A Tomato, But One Would Think I Was Pulping A Decaying Heart By The Noise The Big, Strong Fib Officers Were Making.

By Tink's Diaphram...!

Life Was Going On, And No One But A Handful Of People Cared If I Lived Or Died.

But Why Allow Someone To Make A Bad Choice When A Little Information Might Engender A Better One? It's Hard To Wake Up And See The Sun If The Blinds Are Pulled.

Numb, I Took The Perfectly Browned Puff. Okay. Let Me See If I Have This Right. Al Provokes Me Into Defending Myself. I Nearly Kill Him. Then Newt Tries To Kill Me, Thinking I'm Ku'sox. Al Stops Her, Saving My Life. And Now We're All Going To Have S'mores Together?

...it's Easier To Find A Way To Make Money At Something You Love Than To Learn To Love A Job That You Can Make Money At.

Typical" Kisten Said, His Eyes Dramatically Sad. "try To Do Something Nice For A Person, Cheer Her Up, And What Do I Get? Abused And Robbed.

A Slow Smile Curved Over My Face, And I Leaned Down Over Him. "no," I Said. "wishes Are Lies. Tell Me You're Going To Leave. Tell Me You're Not Going To Stay. Tell Me That It's Only For A While So I Can Enjoy Today," I Whispered In His Ear, As If Saying It Louder Would Break Me. "and When You Go, Don't Think Me Cold When I Don't Cry. I Can't Cry Anymore, Pierce. It Hurts Too Much.

I Have A Name,” I Grumped, My Stomach Pinching Me Harder. “yes, But It Has No Pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” He Said, Trying It Out In Different Ways. “no One Will Tremble In Terror At That. Oh My God!” He Said In A High Falsetto. “it’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

A Clipboard And A Hard Hat Could Get You Just About Anywhere.

People Ask Me What I Do In My Spare Time, And I Look At Them Blankly, Truly Believing That I Don't Even Have Spare Time, And If I Did, I'd Probably Use It For Something Mundane, Like Chipping Away At The Mound Of Laundry Rising To Dangerous Proportions In The Back Room.

Tinks Titties Rache Jenks

The Demon's Eyes Flicked To Mine, His Smile Widening. "this Is Nicholas Gregory Sparagmos's Room," He Said, And My Breath Caught. "delightful, Just Delightful! What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Ooooh, He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You For Taking Care Of That Little Problem! I Should Give You A Bunny. Where Is He? Stuffed In A Closet?" ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Men,” She Said As She Took My Arm And Led Me To The Brightly Lit Room. “they Forget We Need To See The Outcome Of Pain Before We Willingly Put Ourselves Through It. How Else Would We Suffer Nine Months To Have A Beautiful Child? We Already Know We Have Guts.

But I Knew Nick. He Was Too Ugly To Die.

Rachel, We've Been Over This. This Is What I Do," He Said, Crumbs Of Whiten Cheese Falling From The Knife. "find A Way For Your Lofty, Unrealistic Ideals To Deal With It.

Pierce Jerked His Hand From Trent And Pushed Himself Straight. “kalamack Industries,” He Said, Expression Twisted As He Wiped His Hand On His Pants. “i Knew Your Father.” “i Do Not Freaking Believe This,” I Said, Shifting To Stand Where I Could See Both Of Them. Al Beamed. “amazing Who You Can Meet In An Elevator.

They Weren’t Idiots, But I Attracted Trouble That Just Begged Me To Beat It Into Submission.

Inside Junior's It Was Peaceful. I Can Change That, I Thought Dryly.

Like The End Of A Picnic, All The Weenies Will Be Roasted.

Ku’sox Was Indeed A Demon. In. The. Sun. I Needed Answers, But I Wanted Them From Al, Not…cute Socks Here.

Most Of The Upper Management Of I.s. Were Undead. I Always Thought It Was Because The Job Was Easier If You Didn't Have A Soul.

Sure Am Glad I'm Not Royalty," I Muttered. "i Wouldn't Want To Have To Bump Uglies With Someone I Can't Stand. On A Regular Basis. And No One Else." "ow!" I Exclaimed, Trying To Yank My Fingers From Trent But Finding Them Caught. Then I Colored, Realizing What I'd Said. "oh… Sorry," I Stammered, Meaning It. "that Was Insensitive." Trent's Frown Turned Into A Sly Smirk. "bump Uglies?" He Said, Eyes On The Table Behind Me. "you Are A Font Of Gutter Slang, Rachel. We Must Do This Again.

Find Eloy. Smack His Head Into A Wall, Dance On His Guts... I'd Get Creative. Spontaneous Like.

I Suddenly Realized That A Bunch Of My Friends Needed Babysitters And Vowed To Start Screening My Calls.

It Is Not Always What We Do, Sa'han, But Who We Love That Makes Us Who We Are. Quen

I Think She Suspects Something, Though. We’ve Had Cherry Pie For Dessert Five Nights In A Row.” His Voice Drawled, And My Smile Deepened.

Have You Been Sniffing Fairy Farts?

I'll Wait For You Under The Bluebells. I'll Be There Always.

Trent And Ellasbeth Did The Nasty? Ewwww!

I'd Never Seen A Man Who Could Outshop Me, But Jenks Was A Master.

Oh For The Sweet Humpin' Love Of Tink! ~ Jenks

Come On, Rachel!" Jenks Shrilled. "you're A Badass, Not A Bad Witch!

Rachel, What Do You Do? Put An Ad In The Paper For Trouble? (glenn)

Shut Up," I Hissed. Ticked That He Was Taller Than Me, I Stepped Up Onto A Nearby Coffee Table. "i'm Not In A Cage Anymore," I Said, Keeping Enough Presence Of Mind Not To Poke Him In The Chest With A Finger. His Face Went Startled, Then Cloric. "the Only Thing Between Your Head And My Foot Becoming Real Close And Personal Right Now Is My Questionable Professionalism. And If You Ever Threaten Me Again, I'll Slam You Halfway Across The Room Before You Can Say Number-two Pencil. Got It, You Tall Freak Of Nature?

Presence Of Mind

I'd Watch Your Mouth", He Said, Tilting His Head As He Looked At My Id."the Last Lunker Who Laughed At Her Picture Spent The Night In The Emergency Room With A Drink Umbrella Jammed Up His Nose".

I Got It This Time, Daddy Warbucks," I Said.

I Can Think Of A Lot Of Things To Do," He Said, "and None Of Them Involve Standing Up. - Al

The Seraph Looked Up, And Pain Sliced Through My Head As Our Eyes Met, Almost Blinding Me. "i Honor You. You Can Do Something I Cannot," It Said Softly. "for All I Am And All I Have Been, You Are Human. You Are Loved For Your Inventiveness, Both Good And Bad. I Can Kill, But You Can Create. You Can Even Create...an End," It Said Wistfully. "that's Something I Will Never Be Able To Do. Accept This. Create.

Somehow I Found Him. Somehow I Found Al's Sarcastic Thoughts, Bitter And Old. Tired, Angry, Bored. Alone.

Rachel, My Itchy Witch," Al Said As He Tugged The Lace At His Cuffs. "we've Talked About This. You Simply Must Stop Collecting Nasty Little Men. How Many Do You Really Need, Love?

Rose To Rachel: You Cry You Get Angry Then You Do Something About It.

I Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, 'that Is Good, And It's A Part Of Me.'

I Sighed. I Hated The Maze Of Bureaucracy With A Passion, But I've Found The Best Way To Deal With It Is To Smile And Act Stupid. That Way, No One Gets Confused.

Maybe He Thinks He Can Rescue Me? No One Is That Stupid.

Married Pixy, I Told Myself, Forcing My Eyes Back To The Shelf Of Ceramic Animals. Fifty-four Kids. Beautiful Wife, Sweet As Sugar, Who Would Kill Me In My Sleep While Apologizing For It.

I Smell Pancakes," Al Said As He Jauntily Smacked Pierce's Hat Back On The Witch's Head. "did The Runt Make You Breakfast?" Al Said, Leaning Over The Stove. "quickest Way To A Woman's Crotch Is Through Her Gullet, Eh?" He Said, Leering At Pierce, Who Was Now Rinsing Out The Percolator. "is It Working? I'd Be Curious To Know. I'd Buy Her A Cake Or Something.

You Have Such Interesting Thoughts. No Wonder Witches Are Ephemeral. You Drive Yourself Crazy. You Should Simply Do What You Want Without The Soul-searching. It Will Be Easier In The Long Run, Rachel Mariana Morgan.

Actually,” I Said, Hesitant To Bring It Up, “i Was Thinking Along The Lines Of A Curse That Can Turn You Human.” “or Witch?” Ivy Said, Surprising Me. There Was A Soft Vulnerability In Her And I Blinked. “you Don’t Want To Be A Witch,” I Said Quickly. “why Not? You Are.

Don't Fall Into The Trap Of Having To Have Everything Perfect To Write Or Wait Until The Mood Strikes You. If You Want It As A Job, Treat It Like A Job, And Just As You Don't Go To Work Only When You Feel Like It, You Have To Condition Yourself To Sit And Write Even When The Ideas Don't Flow.

Jenks, You Can Fly Me Up The Rest Of The Way To Trent, And Then Pow! I Give Trent His Statue." "pow, You'll Be Naked!" Jenks Exclaimed. (rachel And Jenks)

Algaliarept Varied Its Shape, Sifting Through My Mind Without Me Even Knowing To Choose What Scared Me The Most. Once It Had Been Ivy. Then Kisten —until I Had Pinned Him In An Elevator In A Foolish Moment Of Vampire-induced Passion. It's Hard To Be Scared Of Someone After You've French-kissed Him.

In A Few Hours, I’m Going To Be Banished To The Surface, My Belongings Raffled Off As Novelty Items And My Living Space Given To Someone Else—my Reputation Destroyed. I’d Rather Have Your Head Than Your Soul At This Point In My Illustrious Career.” - Al

Puppy Presents On The Rug. This Sucked.

I Thought Trent Should Get Over His Pixy Paranoia And Admit He Had An Eerie Attraction To Them, Like Every Other Pure-blood Elf I’d Met. So He Liked Pixies. I Liked Double-crunch Ice Cream, But You Didn’t See Me Avoiding It In The Grocery Store.

I Gestured My Frustration. “i Don’t Know. She’s Much Better Already. She Wasn’t Talking Half An Hour Ago. Look At Her Now.” We All Turned, Finding Ceri Sobbing Quietly And Drinking Her Tea In Small Reverent Sips As The Pixy Girls Hovered Over Her. Three Were Plating Her Long, Fair Hair And Another Was Singing To Her. Okay,” I Said As We Turned Back. “bad Example.

A Devious Spark Lit Through Al, Making Me Smile. One Way. It Costs Too Much, He Said. “there’s No Inflation In The Ever-after, Al.” Call It A Recession Then. One Way.

Jenks Squinted At Me, And When Trent Nodded, The Pixy Gestured Sourly To Bis To Get On With It. A Four Inch Man Ruled Us All.

Sure, It Was Nice Now, But Eventually There Would Be Running And Screaming And Blood On The Floor.

But The Same Things That Had Once Attracted Menow Left Me With A Mild Sense Of Unease. Ivy Would Say I Was Getting Smarter, But I Just Felt…empty.

I Thought It Odd That The Woman Was Over A Thousand Years Old But Thought The Microwave Was Primitive.

Al's Red Eyes Slid Past Me To Pierce. "play?" He Said, His Voice Dripping With Interest. "gordian Nathaniel Pierce's Quirks Are Legendary. Why Do You Think I Want The Runt So Badly? Size Truly Doesn't Matter If You Can Do What He Can." ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Adjustment? She Called That An Adjustment? How About I Adjust Her Right Out Of Existence?

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Clayton Christensen

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