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Rachel?” Came Ivy’s Voice From Her Room. “where’s My Sword?” “in The Foyer Where You Left It Last Week When The Evangelists Were Canvassing The Neighborhood

-Kim Harrison

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Rachel?” Came Ivy’s Voice

Kim Harrison

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Rachel?” Came Ivy’s Voice From Her Room. “where’s My Sword?” “in The Foyer Where You Left It Last Week When The Evangelists Were Canvassing The Neighborhood

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His Right Ear Still Held Both Studs, And I Wondered Who Had The Missing Earring. I Would Have Asked, But Was Afraid He’d Tell Me Ivy Had It.

Nothing Is So Hard That It Can't Be Found By Searching.

Typical" Kisten Said, His Eyes Dramatically Sad. "try To Do Something Nice For A Person, Cheer Her Up, And What Do I Get? Abused And Robbed.

Jenks, You Can Fly Me Up The Rest Of The Way To Trent, And Then Pow! I Give Trent His Statue." "pow, You'll Be Naked!" Jenks Exclaimed. (rachel And Jenks)

Be Reasonable. I Know You Can Be. If You Try Very, Very Hard.” - Al To Rachel

God, It Stinks,” I Said, Hand Over My Nose As He Pulled Me Into A Long Step. Al Strode Forward, Head High. “it’s The Stench Of Bureaucracy, My Itchy-witch, And Why I Chose To Go Into Human Resources When But A Wee Lad.

It Was Starting To Smell Really Good In Here. And If I Liked What It Smelled Like, Then They Were Liking What They Were Smelling, And Ah…that Would Be Me.

I Suddenly Realized That A Bunch Of My Friends Needed Babysitters And Vowed To Start Screening My Calls.

I’m Your Worst Nightmare Come To Walk This Side Of The Lines. I’m An Elf, Trent Something You’re Forgotten How To Be. You’re Scared Of Black Magic. I Can See Fear Shimmering Under Your Aura Like Sweat. I Live And Breathe Black Magic. I’m So Tainted With It That I Will Use It Without Thought, Without Guilt And Without Hesitation.

Worst Nightmares

Men,” She Said As She Took My Arm And Led Me To The Brightly Lit Room. “they Forget We Need To See The Outcome Of Pain Before We Willingly Put Ourselves Through It. How Else Would We Suffer Nine Months To Have A Beautiful Child? We Already Know We Have Guts.

Somehow I Found Him. Somehow I Found Al's Sarcastic Thoughts, Bitter And Old. Tired, Angry, Bored. Alone.

Endings Are Not Always Bad. Most Times They're Just Beginnings In Disguise.

Edden Called The Church First,” She Said By Way Of Greeting, Her Thin Eyebrows High As She Spotted Ford’s Arm Linked In Mine. “hi, Ford.” The Man Reddened At The Lilt She’d Put In Her Last Words, But I Wouldn’t Let Him Take His Arm Back. I Liked Being Needed. “he’s Having Trouble With The Background Emotion,” I Said. “and He’d Rather Be Abused By Yours?” Nice. (ivy, Rachel And Ford)

Five Trolls In A Dra-a-a-a-ag,' The Four-inch Man Sang From My Shoulder. 'four Purple Condoms, Three French Ticklers, Two Horny Vamps And A Succubus In The Snow.

Can We Get Back To How We’re Going To Kill Nick? And What’s This About A Dead Body? You’d Better Start Talking Quick, Ivy, ’cause I’m Not Going To Play Hide-and-seek With A Dead Guy In My Trunk. I Did That In College, And I’m Not Going To Do It Again.” A Smile Quirked Ivy’s Mouth. “really?” She Asked, And I Flushed.

And While Seeing Trent In His Tighty-whities Would Make My Decade, I’d Found Out Long Ago That I Couldn’t Stay Mad At A Man Wearing Nothing But Underwear. They Looked So Charmingly Vulnerable.

His Eyes Met Mine At The Soft Touch, And A Chime Seemed To Shake The Ley Line, Realigning The Universe. He Was Mine.

The Small Gargoyle Had Gone Entirely White To Match The Ceiling, And Only The Rims Of His Ears, His Long Clawlike Nails, And A Thick Stripe Down His Whip-like Tail Were Still Gray. He Was Crawling Along The Ceiling Like A Bat, Wings Held To Make Sharp Angles And Claws Extended. It Just About Broke My Creepy Meter.

Tell Me Where You Want It,” I Said. Minias Drew Back, His Purple Robes Shifting About His Ankles. “you’re Asking Me?” “well, Unless You Want A Big R On Your Forehead.

Rose To Rachel: You Cry You Get Angry Then You Do Something About It.

My Office Is Trashed,” He Grumped As He Squished Across His Damp Carpet And Took The Coffee That I Was Holding Out To Him. “why Are You Smiling? My Fish Are Dead.

All I'd Have To Do Then Was Roll With The Consequences Of Inviting Dewinged, Fanged Fairies Into Trent's Backyard. God, They Were Savage Looking. Served Him Right.

It Is Not Always What We Do, Sa'han, But Who We Love That Makes Us Who We Are. Quen

"i'm Going Back!" I Shouted, Standing To Put Some Distance Between Us In Case I Was Yanking Her Chain Too Hard And She Came After Me. "i'll Show Him," I Said, Waving An Arm. "i'll Sneak In. I'll Steal His Freaking Glasses And Mail Them Back To Him In A Freaking Birthday Card!"

Al's Voice Was Faint But Resolute. "stand Up. Try To Look Sexy." "in A Bedsheet?" I Complained, Running My Hands Down It. "how Can I Look Sexy In A Bedsheet?" He Cleared His Throat, And I Grimaced. "never Mind.

Uh... ," Ivy Stammered, And I Glanced Up To See Her Eyes Wide In Consideration. "i'm Kidding," I Said. "it Passed The Lethal-amulet Test, Remember?" "not That. You Keep It In Your Underwear Drawer?" I Hesitated, Wondering Why I Was Embarrassed. "well, Where Do You Put Your Elven Magic?" I Asked.

Did Something Happen To The Sanctity Of Your Church Again?" My Eye Twitched. "newt Broke It So She Could Look In My Closet." Again.

I'd Never Seen A Man Who Could Outshop Me, But Jenks Was A Master.

He's Going To Hurt You," Al Said, Looking At Pierce. "i Can Take Care Of You, Teach You To Survive. Be There For You, Even If You Do Hate Me." I Shivered. "i Don't Want Him," I Said, And Al Turned Away, Seeming Smaller Somehow.

I Am Black,” She Said, And A Shudder Rippled Through Me. “i Am Foul With A Thousand Years Of Demon Curses. Don’t Cross Me Or I Will Bring You And Your House Down. Rachel Is The Only Clean Thing I Have, And You Won’t Sully Her To Further Your High Ideas.

I Was Having Coffee With My Bodyguard. I Didn't Expect To Be Hunting Bad Guys Until Later. Leather Before Sundown Is Tacky.

Where Did He Go!” He Bellowed, Gloved Hands Clenching. “i Had Him In A Snare That Would Take Alexander The Great A Lifetime To Untwist, And He Did It In A Week!” Al Took A Step, Pinwheeling As His Booted Heel Found An Ice Cube.

I Got It This Time, Daddy Warbucks," I Said.

Okay, I Like Him,” I Admitted. “but It Takes More Than A Nice Body, Jenks. Jeez, I Do Have A Little Depth. You’ve Got A Great Body, And You Don’t See Me Trying To Get Into Your Fruit Of The Looms.

I Hate It When She Tabs A Line," Ivy Whispered To Kisten In The Corner. "you Ever See Anything Freakier Than That?" "you Should See The Face She Makes When She—" "shut Up, Kist!" I Exclaimed, My Eyes Flashing Open To Find Him Grinning At Me.

If It Was Up To Me, I’d Choose The Hard Path With The Easy Ending, Not The Easy Path With The Hard End.

As The Joke Goes, You Don’t Have To Be Faster Than The Wolf Chasing You, Just Faster Than Everyone Else Running Away.

Jenks Enthusiastically Leaned Against The Counter And Opened The Box. Bypassing The Plastic Knife, He Broke Off About A Third Of It And Took A Huge Bite. Ivy Watched, Appalled, And I Shrugged. His Mouth Moving As He Hummed, Jenks Finished Unpacking The Sacks. I Was Half Dead, Ivy Was Whoring Herself To Keep Me Safe, But Jenks Was Okay As Long As He Had Chocolate.

Memories Of Ice And Trent Surfaced, And I Wrapped My Arms Around My Middle. I Had Saved Him, And He Had Saved Me. What Was Wrong With Us?

Wayde Yelled, And I Hit Him Again, Adrenaline Pulling A Scream Of Outrage From Me. He Went Quiet, And I Held My Breath To Make Sure I Could Hear Him Breathing. I Suppose I Could Have Used My Magic On Him, But This Was A Lot More Satisfying.

Rachel Knew What She Was Doing. And When She Didn't, She Could Improvise On The Fly, Coming Up With Options That Left A Lot Of Collateral Damage But Usually Only Hurt Herself, Not The People Around Her. It Was One Of The Things He Would Never Admit That He Admired About Her.

A Compassion Swirled Form Nowhere In The High I Was Lost In. She Needed Me. She Needed Me To Accept Her For What She Was. And When I Realized That I Had It Within Myself To Give Her At Least This Small Part Of Me, The Last Of My Fear Melted Away.

I Opine-i Think You're A Woman Of Your World,' He Said From The Far End Of The Couch. 'i Would Have A Hard Time Seeing You Pressed And Powdered, Dreading A Life Of Servitude Under The Name Of Marriage. You'd Die In That Mold. I Like You As You Are, Fiery And Ill Tempered.

Maybe I Could Be Friends With A Ghost. I Wouldn’t Be Able To Kill Him.

Ku’sox Was Indeed A Demon. In. The. Sun. I Needed Answers, But I Wanted Them From Al, Not…cute Socks Here.

Happy Endings Were Never Handed Out. You Had To Fight For Them, Earn Them With Bruised Hearts And Sacrifices.

You Need Me, Just Whistle," He Said As He Arranged His Ball Cap Over His Eyes Against The Sun Leaking Through The Frost-emptied Branches. "you're Not Coming?" Lifting The Brim Of His Cap, He Eyed Me, "you Want Me To?" He Asked Blandly. "not Really, No." He Dropped The Brim And Laced His Hands Over His Middle. "then Why Are You Bitching? It's A Crime Scene, Not A Grocery Store.

That’s My Girl,” She Said, Her Eyes Holding A Shared Pain As She Saw My Confusion. “al, Where Are You Going To Put Her? Not In Your Room. She’d Pull A Line Through You And Kill You When You Hog The Blankets. I’ll Take The Waif In. I Promise I’ll Bring This One Up Properly.

And I’m Not Spying! I’m Evaluating!” “it’s The Same Difference!

I Felt Sick. Buying Kisten’s And My Safety From Piscary Was So Wrong. But It Was Either That Or Deal With A Demon, And I’d Rather Keep My Soul Clean And Let My Morals Get Dingy.

I'd Watch Your Mouth", He Said, Tilting His Head As He Looked At My Id."the Last Lunker Who Laughed At Her Picture Spent The Night In The Emergency Room With A Drink Umbrella Jammed Up His Nose".

If He Betrays You, I Will Finish What I Started With His Fingers," He Said, And I Shivered. "tell Him That.

I Have To Save The World Tomorrow, And I Don't Even Know What I'm Going To Wear Yet.--rachel Morgan

Anything Worth Having Is Going To Be Hard

Anything Worth Having

There Is Black. There Is White. Gray Is A Cowardly Excuse To Mix Our Wants With Our Needs.

People Die, Rachel," Ceri Said, Her Cheeks Flushing. "not If I Can Help It," I Snapped. "and Not Of A Broken Heart. If You Could, I'd Be Dead Already.

There Were No More Choices, No More Options, No More Clever Ways Out Of A Tough Situation. And The Rush, I Realized In A Brutal Wash Of Despair, Is A False God I’ve Chased My Entire Life. One That Cost Me Everything In The Blind Search For Sensation. My Entire Existence Amounted To Nothing.

Have You Been Sniffing Fairy Farts?

I Was Cold, Hungry, And In A Hole In The Ground. But At Least I Had My Elven Porn, Damnit!

A Slow Smile Curved Over My Face, And I Leaned Down Over Him. "no," I Said. "wishes Are Lies. Tell Me You're Going To Leave. Tell Me You're Not Going To Stay. Tell Me That It's Only For A While So I Can Enjoy Today," I Whispered In His Ear, As If Saying It Louder Would Break Me. "and When You Go, Don't Think Me Cold When I Don't Cry. I Can't Cry Anymore, Pierce. It Hurts Too Much.

With A Gentle Pressure, Our Lips Met. His Hands Slipped More Firmly About Me, And I Held Myself Back, Not Afraid, But Wanting To Feel Everything Slowly As I Leaned In, Tasting The Wine On Him, Feeling The Warmth Of His Body Pressing Into Mine, Breathing In Our Scents That Were Mingling And Changing With The Warmth. My Hands Rose To Find His Hair, And I Relaxed Into Him As The Silky Strands Brushed Through My Fingers. I Wanted More, And I Leaned Into Him As Our Lips Moved Against Each Other.

Ah, Jenks? It’s Not A Lake, It’s A Friggin’ Freshwater Ocean. Did You See The Size Of The Tanker Going Under The Bridge When We Came Into Town? The Wake From It Could Tip Us. I’m Not Canoeing It Unless Your Name Is Pocahontas.

Her Tiny Hand Gripped Mine With A Surprising Warmth, And In A Shocking Wash Of Emotion, I Felt Everything I Knew Shift. The Scent Of Cinnamon And Baby Powder Hit Me, And As My Eyes Widened, My Heart Melted, Making Room For Her.

Newt Spun, Making Her Robe Unfurl. “he’s My Familiar, Bought And Paid For. I Can Claim Anything Of His. Even His Life.” Al Cleared His Throat Nervously. “that’s Good To Know,” He Said Lightly. “important Safety Tip. Rachel, Write That Down Somewhere As Lesson Number One.

Trent, Do You Have Any Weapons? Like A Gun?” He Looked At Me In Disgust. “you’re Here To Protect Me,” He Said As He Closed The Distance Between Us And Stood Beside Me. “you Didn’t Bring A Weapon?” “yeah, I Brought A Weapon,” I Snapped As I Brought My Splat Gun Out And Aimed It At The Ceiling Where The Sounds Were Coming From. “i Just Thought That Since You’re A Freaking Murderer You Might Have A Gun, Too (...)

What Are You Doing Now?" Al Questioned "seeing If Your Circumcision Is Gone? It Is. My Expression Went Blank, And Trent Hesitated. He Looked At Me, And I Put A Hand To My Mouth, Face Flaming. "oh. My. God. Trent. I'm Sorry" "um" Trent Said, Clearly At A Loss. "call Me Tomorrow," Al Said Seriously, "i've Got A Curse That Will Take Care Of That. Unless You Like The Snake In A Turtleneck Look

Hey, Ah, Does Anyone Want A Cookie Or Something? Oh Yeah. A Cookie. That Would Make Everything Better. Dunked In A Shot Of Tequila , Maybe? Or Better Yet, Just The Bottle? Yeah, That Ought To Do It.

Her Elf Is Going To Do Just That,” He Said, The Red Glow Of The Ever-after Sun Turning His Hair Auburn, Almost As Red As Mine. “i Did Not Work This Hard At Getting Her To Accept Who She Is To Let You Take Your Spoiled Brat Of A Little-boy Temper Tantrum Out On Her. She Stays On My Side Of The Lines.

Making A Spell Is Easy. It's Trusting You Did It Right That's Hard.

He Wanted That Again, That Feeling Of Standing With Her Against All Odds And Succeeding. He Wanted It So Bad, He Was Going To Risk Destroying Everything He And His Father Had Worked For.

Apparently Their Numerous Tattoos Gave Them Protection Against The Cold As They Had No Coats.

Sure Am Glad I'm Not Royalty," I Muttered. "i Wouldn't Want To Have To Bump Uglies With Someone I Can't Stand. On A Regular Basis. And No One Else." "ow!" I Exclaimed, Trying To Yank My Fingers From Trent But Finding Them Caught. Then I Colored, Realizing What I'd Said. "oh… Sorry," I Stammered, Meaning It. "that Was Insensitive." Trent's Frown Turned Into A Sly Smirk. "bump Uglies?" He Said, Eyes On The Table Behind Me. "you Are A Font Of Gutter Slang, Rachel. We Must Do This Again.

I Gestured My Frustration. “i Don’t Know. She’s Much Better Already. She Wasn’t Talking Half An Hour Ago. Look At Her Now.” We All Turned, Finding Ceri Sobbing Quietly And Drinking Her Tea In Small Reverent Sips As The Pixy Girls Hovered Over Her. Three Were Plating Her Long, Fair Hair And Another Was Singing To Her. Okay,” I Said As We Turned Back. “bad Example.

Your Hair Is A Tangled Mess,"he Said, Thinking He Liked It That Way, Like A Lion's Mane.

Was Using “dead-man’s-toe” Morally Okay If The Man’s Relatives Had Knowingly Sold Him For Parts?

I Tried To Breathe, Failing. I Clutched Her To Me, Tears Slipping From Under My Closed Eyes. It Was As If Her Soul Was Liquid Fire And I Could Feel Her Aura, Swirling About Mine. She Was Taking My Aura. But I Wanted To Give It To Her, To Cat Her In A Small Part Of Me And Protect Her. Her Needs Made Her So Fragile.

Shut Up," I Hissed. Ticked That He Was Taller Than Me, I Stepped Up Onto A Nearby Coffee Table. "i'm Not In A Cage Anymore," I Said, Keeping Enough Presence Of Mind Not To Poke Him In The Chest With A Finger. His Face Went Startled, Then Cloric. "the Only Thing Between Your Head And My Foot Becoming Real Close And Personal Right Now Is My Questionable Professionalism. And If You Ever Threaten Me Again, I'll Slam You Halfway Across The Room Before You Can Say Number-two Pencil. Got It, You Tall Freak Of Nature?

Presence Of Mind

She's Not Your Type. Since When Do I Have A Type?

Rachel, You Take Her,” My Mother Said, Clearly Uncomfortable. “she Might Like You.” “no. Mom, No!” I Protested, But It Was My Mother We Were Talking About, And It Was Either Take The Baby Or Have Her Hit The Floor.

Join Us Next Time For Days Of The Undead When Rachel Learns Her Long Lost Brother Is Really A Crown Prince From Outer Space.

Do You Have A Sleeping Bag?” I Stared At Him. “no. I Lost It In The Great Salt-dip Of ’06.

I'd Say She's Get Us Both Fired, But The I.s. Doesn't Let Anyone Go. Alive.

I Do So Like All-encompassing Words. Verb, Adjective, Noun. Yes, You Are Shitted.

Hate Is All That Keeps Us Alive When Love Is Gone. You’re Almost There. Not Quite Ready To Let It Go Yet.

You Are Your Father's Daughter,' He Said, The Skin Around His Eyes Tightening. 'trent Is His Father's Son. Apart, You Are Annoying. Together...you Have The Potential To Be A Problem.

Face It, You Stupid Little Cookie Maker,” Jenks Said, Almost Sounding Fond, “in The Last Couple Of Days You’ve Seen What It’s Like To Be In A Family, With All The Touchy Tempers And Irritation That Goes On. Now You Get To See The Other Side, Where We Do Stupid Stuff For Each Other Just Because We Like You. Rache Is The Little Sister. Ivy’s The Big Sister. I’m The Uncle From Out Of State, And You’re The Rich Nephew No One Likes But We Put Up With You Anyway Because We Feel Sorry For You. Just Let Me Help, Huh? It Won’t Kill You.

The Undead Did Not Love, But They Remembered Love With A Savage Loyalty.

His Attitude, Though Always Bad, Has Changed Since He Helped Me Prep The Pandora Charm For Morgan. He Thinks I'm Falling For Her, As Ridiculous As That Sounds, And He Might Be Tempted To Take Matters Into His Hands.

See, This Was Why I Liked Coffee. You Couldn’t Screw Up Making Coffee. Even The Bad Stuff Was Good.

In A Few Hours, I’m Going To Be Banished To The Surface, My Belongings Raffled Off As Novelty Items And My Living Space Given To Someone Else—my Reputation Destroyed. I’d Rather Have Your Head Than Your Soul At This Point In My Illustrious Career.” - Al

You Think Ivy's A Planner? She Has Nothing On A Motivated Elf With Too Much Money.

The Car Was Full Of Unhappy People Heading West. It Was The Great American Family Road Trip, All Right. Whaaa-hoo!

Kisten, Please Don't Leave Me," I Begged, And His Eyes Opened. "i'm Cold," He Said, Fear Rising In His Blue Eyes. I Held Him Tighter. "i'm Holding You. It's Going To Be Okay." "tell Ivy," He Said With A Gasp, Clenching In On Himself. "tell Ivy That It Wasn't Her Fault. And Tell Her That At The End... You Remember Love. I Don't Think... We Lose Our Souls... At All. I Think God Keeps Them For Us Until We... Come Home. I Love You, Rachel." "i Love You, Too, Kisten," I Sobbed, And As I Watched, His Eyes, Memorizing My Face, Silvered, And He Died.

[jenks]"i Think You're All Screwy In The Head," He Said When Bis Nodded His Encouragement. "but Go Ahead. I've Got Quen's Number In My Phone. I'll Call Him If You Both Explode In A Flash Of Black Underwear And Money So I Won't Have To Fly All The Way Home.

You!” She Said, Stepping Forward With A Vehement Expression And Her Finger Pointed. Heart Pounding, I Pressed Into Al. Funny How He Seemed So Much Safer Now. (newt, Rachel And Al)

Actually,” I Said, Hesitant To Bring It Up, “i Was Thinking Along The Lines Of A Curse That Can Turn You Human.” “or Witch?” Ivy Said, Surprising Me. There Was A Soft Vulnerability In Her And I Blinked. “you Don’t Want To Be A Witch,” I Said Quickly. “why Not? You Are.

The Mad Have A Grace All Their Own

I Frowned, Wondering If Trent Would Mind Being The Size Of A Fairy For A Day. He Could Talk To The Newest Tenants In His Garden.

I Turned Back To The Mirror, Seeing That There Were No Lines On It. It Was Empty. "what Happened To My Mirror?" I Said, Bewildered. Then Realizing That I Was Looking At The Back Of The Dumb Thing, I Swore And Turned It Over.

But The Same Things That Had Once Attracted Menow Left Me With A Mild Sense Of Unease. Ivy Would Say I Was Getting Smarter, But I Just Felt…empty.

You Should Be Dead," He Said, His Voice Full Of Wonder. "how Is It That You're Still Alive?" Jaw Clenched, I Worked At His Grip On Me, Trying To Get My Fingers Between Him And My Wrist. "i Work Hard At It.

A Demon Was Asking Me What I Wanted. My Eyes Flicked To Al, And He Shrugged. “what Do You Want?” He Said Softly.

Hapa Was Like Mint. You Could Rip It Up, And Six Months Later, It Was Back, Healthier Than Ever. Mint Smelled Better, Though, And You Could Make Juleps Out Of It. I Don’t Know What I Could Make Out Of Hapa. Compost, Maybe.

I Didn’t Know What I Was Going To Say, A Feeling That Was Compounded When The Line Clicked Open And Trent’s Very Muzzy Voice Murmured, “rachel? Mmm, Hi.

Lately I’d Begun Carrying Pain Amulets In My Bag, Like Some People Have Breath Mints.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies. Jenks (black Magic Sanction)

I Thought Trent Should Get Over His Pixy Paranoia And Admit He Had An Eerie Attraction To Them, Like Every Other Pure-blood Elf I’d Met. So He Liked Pixies. I Liked Double-crunch Ice Cream, But You Didn’t See Me Avoiding It In The Grocery Store.

Rachel, You Summon Demons. You’re Good At It. Get Over It, Then Find A Way To Make It Work For You. It’s Not Going To Go Away.

God, If You Ever Loved Me, Open My Eyes For Me When I'm Being This Stupid! (ron)

Pierce Jerked His Hand From Trent And Pushed Himself Straight. “kalamack Industries,” He Said, Expression Twisted As He Wiped His Hand On His Pants. “i Knew Your Father.” “i Do Not Freaking Believe This,” I Said, Shifting To Stand Where I Could See Both Of Them. Al Beamed. “amazing Who You Can Meet In An Elevator.

I Will Compensate All Your One-inch, Two-inch Losses Because I Know How Important Every Inch Is To You Aged, Decrepit Men.

You Think My Kids Just Popped Out Of The Ground?

You Had This All Planned, Didn’t You?' I Accused. 'thought You Could Come In Here And Seduce Me Like You Do Everyone Else?' It Wasn’t As If I Could Be Angry, Lying Atop Him As I Was, But I Tried.

Avoiding Me, Quen Downed A Swallow Of Wine. "trent Is A Fine Young Man," He Said, Watching The Remaining Wine Swirl. "yes... " I Drawled, Cautiously. "if You Can Call A Drug Lord And Outlawed-medicine Manufacturer A Fine Young Man.

A Witch, A Vampire, And A Pixy Walk Into A Bar, I Thought As I Led The Way Into The Squirrel’s End. It Was Early, And The Sun Had Yet To Set When The Door Swung Shut Behind Jenks, Sealing Us In The Warm Air Smelling Faintly Of Smoke. Immediately Nick Yanked It Open To Come In Behind Us. And There’s The Punch Line.

I Didn’t Mean Now,” He Protested. “i’m Not Going To Raise The Child. I’m Having Enough Trouble With Rachel.

But I Knew Nick. He Was Too Ugly To Die.

Of Course I’m Shielding Her, You Broken Feather!

Al Was Standing A Bare Three Feet Away, His Mood Almost Jovial As He Took The Paper And It Vanished In A Wash Of Black Sparkles. “thank You, Rachel,” He Said, Carefully Reaching For My Hand As Trent Stiffened. “welcome Back, My Itchy Witch.

No Exclusive,” I Said Aloud, Watching Al For His Opinion And Seeing Him Shake His Head And Hold His Hands Out In A “bigger” Gesture. He Didn’t Even Know How Large The Offer Was, And He Thought I Could Get One Bigger.

I Won’t Snatch, Harm, Or Scare To Death People With You Or Use Checking Up On You As An Excuse To Cause Trouble. You’re Worse Than My Mother, Rachel.” “mine, Too,” Jenks Muttered.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,” He Said, Very Still And Unmoving. “always Jumping To The Wrong Conclusion. You’re Like A Frog, You Know.

Rachel,” Came A Raspy Voice From The Upper Level, And Both Trent And I Turned. It Was Quen, Wrapped In A Blanket As If It Was A Death Shroud, The Black-haired Intern At His Side, Supporting Him. His Hair Was Plastered To His Skull With Sweat, And I Could See Him Wavering As He Stood There. “don’t Touch Trenton,” He Said, His Gravelly Voice Clear In The Hush, “or I’m Going To Have To Come Down There…and Smack You Around.

Sure, He Had A Wife And Fifty-four Kids, But He Looked Like A College Freshman. A Yummy College Freshman Majoring In Oh-my-god-i-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.

The Seraph Looked Up, And Pain Sliced Through My Head As Our Eyes Met, Almost Blinding Me. "i Honor You. You Can Do Something I Cannot," It Said Softly. "for All I Am And All I Have Been, You Are Human. You Are Loved For Your Inventiveness, Both Good And Bad. I Can Kill, But You Can Create. You Can Even Create...an End," It Said Wistfully. "that's Something I Will Never Be Able To Do. Accept This. Create.

We Could've Done This Anywhere, But I Wanted You To See Me, To See This," He Said, Gesturing At The Room. "i Wanted You To Know Where I Come From, What I Am Under The Choices I Make.

I Want…” He Said, Then Hesitated, Taking A Breath Of Air And Lifting His Chin. “i Want One Pure Thing In My Life,” He Said Loudly, His Voice Ringing In The Red-tinted Air. “i Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, ‘that Is Good, And It’s A Part Of Me.

Rachel, My Itchy Witch," Al Said As He Tugged The Lace At His Cuffs. "we've Talked About This. You Simply Must Stop Collecting Nasty Little Men. How Many Do You Really Need, Love?

Good Lord, I Thought, Squinting At The Bright Glare Of A Late-july Morning. No Wonder I Slept Through This. It Was Noisy With Shrieking Birds, And Already Hot.

Behind The Fury, He Was Tired. He Was Tired Of Being Hauled Around And Shoved Into A Little Room. He Was Tired Of Trying For Me And Failing. And To Have Minias Know It, To Be Carted Off Under His Leash…it Was Almost Insulting. Maybe, If I Gave Al A Night Of Peace To Lick His Wounds And His Pride, He Would Grant That Same Courtesy To Me?

Your Welcome Means More To Me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, Than A Thousand Souls. Watching Rachel Work Is A Wonder Of One Catastrophe After Another.

I Just Want My Name Back So My Life Can Go Back To Chaotic And Weird Instead Of Chaotic And Desperate.

Rache,” He Said, Trying To Get Into My Line Of Sight. “what More Do You Need? God To Send A Telegram?" (jenks)

No, You Just Keep Crashing My Life. Look—" I Said, And Al Grunted. "here It Comes," The Demon Muttered. "listen. Listen To This, Runt. She's Going To Have A List.

Teens Like A Lot Of The Same Things Adults Do: Smart People Doing Amazing Things Against Awful Odds.

Ford Put A Hand To His Head. “back Up. Back Up!” He Cried. “you’re Too Close.” Heart Pounding, I Looked At The Eight Feet Between Us And Pressed Into The Fridge. “i Think He Meant For The Ghost To Back Up,” Jenks Said Dryly.

Piscary Killed People, But He Didn’t Have The Concept Of Pity Or Remorse. It Would Be Like Telling A Shark He Was A Bad Fish And To Stop Eating People. But Trent? He Knew He Was Doing Wrong, And He Did It Anyway.

What Are You?" I Rasped. It Smiled. "whatever Scares You.

Dead Witch Walking Is Basically A Modern-day Witch Living In Cincinnati.

...everyone Had To Eat, But Eating People Wasn't Polite.

Just Because I Don't Wear My Heart On My Sleeve - " "you Don't Even Wear Your Heart In Your Chest.

I Think She Suspects Something, Though. We’ve Had Cherry Pie For Dessert Five Nights In A Row.” His Voice Drawled, And My Smile Deepened.

Al's Red Eyes Slid Past Me To Pierce. "play?" He Said, His Voice Dripping With Interest. "gordian Nathaniel Pierce's Quirks Are Legendary. Why Do You Think I Want The Runt So Badly? Size Truly Doesn't Matter If You Can Do What He Can." ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

I'm Only Going To Be Here For A Time, Then Leave You." His Gaze Met Mine. "and I Will Cry When I Go, Because I Could Love You Forever.

I'll Wait For You Under The Bluebells. I'll Be There Always.

He Just Wanted To Hold Her To Him And Tell Her It Would Be Okay, That She Had Survived And Was Beautiful.

I Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, 'that Is Good, And It's A Part Of Me.'

Maybe He Thinks He Can Rescue Me? No One Is That Stupid.

I Said School Starts Tomorrow. I Didn’t Say I Was Going To Be There.

The Gentle Sound Of Her Words Became The Shushing Of My Blood In My Head, And I Listened, Hovering On The Edge Of Consciousness, Bathed In The Oblivion Of Whatever Drug They Had Given Me.

You Cannot Thrash The Person Who Makes You Coffee. It's A Rule Somewhere.

People Ask Me What I Do In My Spare Time, And I Look At Them Blankly, Truly Believing That I Don't Even Have Spare Time, And If I Did, I'd Probably Use It For Something Mundane, Like Chipping Away At The Mound Of Laundry Rising To Dangerous Proportions In The Back Room.

Inside Junior's It Was Peaceful. I Can Change That, I Thought Dryly.

You Can Trust Me To Keep My Word. I Always Keep My Word, Promises Or Threats.

They Weren’t Idiots, But I Attracted Trouble That Just Begged Me To Beat It Into Submission.

My Mother Isn't Crazy. She Simply Has A Harder Time Than Most Reconciling Her Reality With Everyone Else's Reality.

You Bet Your Grannie's Panties I Will.

But He's Rachel Candy!" -both Jenks And Al

Knowledge Is Power. Ignorance Is Bliss. But Curiosity—even If It Had Killed The Cat—is King.

No," She Said Firmly. "i Want You To Stay When I Go. Break Tradition Again, My Love, And Burn Me Alone In The Home We Built. I Don't Want You With Me. You Aren't Done. You See Too Far Ahead. You Need To Make The World In Your Thoughts A Real One That Our Children Can Fly In." - Matalina To Jenks

Don’t Stereotype, Jenks. Hapa Is An Equal-opportunity Hate Group,” I Said.

I Told You, Computers Are Like Women. If You Shout At Them Or Ask Them To Do Too Many Things At Once, They Shut Down And You Won't Even Get A Sniff" Pg. 4

And If He Is Lying And He Double-crosses You, I’ll Kill Him For You.” From Anyone Else, It Would Have Been An Idle Threat, And I Smiled, Feeling Loved. (ivy And Rachel)

Shouts Of Dismay Rose As The Red Flesh Splattered Against The Table. It Was Only A Tomato, But One Would Think I Was Pulping A Decaying Heart By The Noise The Big, Strong Fib Officers Were Making.

Together We Made Our Way From The Service Entrances In Back To The Front, Jenks Shedding Clothes And Handing Them To Me To Stuff In My Bag Every Few Yards. It Was Terribly Distracting, But I Managed To Avoid Running Into The Dumpsters And Recycling Bins.

This Is About Ku’sox, Isn’t It,” I Said, More Of A Statement Than A Question. He Made A Sighing Groan, And I Knew It Was. “then You’ve Met,” He Said, His Thoughts Clearly On The Day-walking Demon. “funny, You Don’t Look Dead.” His Hand Touched My Chin, Shifting It So He Could See Where I’d Been Pixed, The Blisters Itchy And Red. “i’m Surprised You Survived The Little Designer Dump. I Nearly Didn’t.

She Smiled With The Warmth Of A Penguin.

I Sighed. "and What Am I To You, Al?" "my Maid," He Said Brightly. "shall We Do This?

Come Work For Me, And I’ll Tell You.” My Eyes Went To His. “you Are A Thief, A Cheat, A Murderer, And A Not-nice Man,” I Said Calmly. “i Don’t Like You.” He Shrugged, The Motion Making Him Look Utterly Harmless. “i’m Not A Thief,” He Said. “and I Don’t Mind Manipulating You Into Working For Me When I Need It.” He Smiled, Showing Me Perfect Teeth. “i Enjoy It, Actually.

Tinks Titties Rache Jenks

How Many Mistakes Can One Life Survive?

"we Were The Pair. One Too Afraid To Feel Anything Lest She Lose Control Of Her Ironclad Hold On Her Emotions, And The Other So Hungry To Feel Anything That She´d Risk Her Free Will For One Night Of Fun.".

Keep Your Vampire Mitts Off Me. I'm Not Your Friggin' Blood Toy.

Two Thousand Miles, Rachel,” He Said Tightly, And I Guessed That No, It Didn’t Violate The Rules Of Whatever He Was Doing Out Here, Because He Sure Wasn’t Out Here Keeping The Coven From Attacking Me. “i Have Eaten Nothing But Slop For Two Days And Used Facilities I Wouldn’t Let My Dogs Urinate In. And What About That Couple In The Rv Outside Texas? I’ll Never Get That Memory Out Of My Head.” - Trent To Rachel

You Just Click Your Heels And Think There's No Place Like Being Pwned.

He Didn't Want Lucy To Grow Up Feeling Alone, Surrounded By Everything And Having Nothing.

She Just Threatened To Throw The Next Man Who Shoots At You Out The Window. Megan Is Awake. She Offered To Help. God, Trent, What Is It With You And Women?

Jenks Laughed, Taking To The Air And Saying, “give It Up, Fib Man. It’ll Take More Than You To Get Her Out. Remember What Ivy And I Did To Your Finest Last Spring? Add Rachel To That, And You Can Say Your Prayers.” From Behind Me Came Edden’s Dry “you Think Ivy Wants Another Stint As A Candy Striper?

I’ve Got Your Back. Nothing Alive Will Ever Hurt You If I Have Breath In Me. And Nothing Dead Will Hurt You If I Don’t.” (kisten)

Maybe If I Didn't Say Anything About What Happened, We Could Get Back To The Way We Were. Ignoring A Problem Was A Perfectly Acceptable Way To Deal With It, As Long As Both People Agree Never To Bring It Up Again.

Numb, I Took The Perfectly Browned Puff. Okay. Let Me See If I Have This Right. Al Provokes Me Into Defending Myself. I Nearly Kill Him. Then Newt Tries To Kill Me, Thinking I'm Ku'sox. Al Stops Her, Saving My Life. And Now We're All Going To Have S'mores Together?

The Demon's Eyes Flicked To Mine, His Smile Widening. "this Is Nicholas Gregory Sparagmos's Room," He Said, And My Breath Caught. "delightful, Just Delightful! What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Ooooh, He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You For Taking Care Of That Little Problem! I Should Give You A Bunny. Where Is He? Stuffed In A Closet?" ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Elves Apparently Had A Short Childhood. Not Like Witches, Who Seemed To Take Forever To Grow Up, According To Jenks.

Get Your Hand Off Me,” I Exclaimed, Voice Loud With Misplaced Anger As I Yanked Away From His Grip. “i’m A Professional, Not Some Distraught Girlfriend.” Well, I Was That Too, But I Knew How To Act At A Crime Scene.

Life Was Going On, And No One But A Handful Of People Cared If I Lived Or Died.

Music Moves Society More Than Most People Realize. In My Opinion, It's A Soft Manipulator Of Influence And Change.

So Much For Playing Nice.tired, I Let My Eyes Shut While They Argued, Hoping I Didn’t Die In The Interim And Make The Problem Moot. I Wasn’t Ever Going To Get My Water. Ever.

Rachel, We've Been Over This. This Is What I Do," He Said, Crumbs Of Whiten Cheese Falling From The Knife. "find A Way For Your Lofty, Unrealistic Ideals To Deal With It.

I’d Given Up On The White Picket Fence After Kisten Had Died—finding Out My Kids Would Be Demons Was The Nail In The Coffin.

Al Was Looking At Me In Disbelief. “not Your Lover?” “no.” “but He Is Rachel Candy,” Al Said, His Confusion Too Honest To Be Faked.

Algaliarept Varied Its Shape, Sifting Through My Mind Without Me Even Knowing To Choose What Scared Me The Most. Once It Had Been Ivy. Then Kisten —until I Had Pinned Him In An Elevator In A Foolish Moment Of Vampire-induced Passion. It's Hard To Be Scared Of Someone After You've French-kissed Him.

The Car Picked Up Speed, And The Sound Seemed To Lull Me.i Could Relax, I Thought As I Felt The Tingling Of Circulation In My Limbs. I Was In Trent’s Car, Wrapped In A Blanket, And Held In His Arms. He Wouldn’t Let Anything Hurt Me. He Wasn’t Singing, Though,i Mused.shouldn’t He Be Singing?

I Thought It Odd That The Woman Was Over A Thousand Years Old But Thought The Microwave Was Primitive.

Jenks Kept Me Alive For Two Years Through Two Death Threats, A Crazy Banshee, And At Least Two Serial Killers. Its About Time I Return The Favor! And If I Can't, Then I Can Sit By His Bed And Hold His Hand As He Dies, 'cause I've Had Plenty Of Practice Doing That, Too!

She’s Not Much Of A Team Player, More Of A Team Yeller.

I Grew Up Reading Sf In The 70s And 80s, And I Like Fast, Thought-provoking Plots That Take You Places In Fully Realized Worlds.

Thought Provoking

Being Poor Is Not An Indication Of Potential Or Worth. It’s A Lack Of Resources.

Listen Before You Draw Your Battle Lines, Lest You Alienate Your Allies.

Yes, But . . .” She Hesitated, Her Gaze Finally Coming To Me. “i Survived Because I Fell In Love.” With You Was Unspoken.

I Fell In Love With You

She Thought I Could Find A Way To Save Her Soul When She Died And Became An Undead. Right Now, I Was Just Looking To Find The Rent Money. I’d Get To My Roommate’s Soul Later.

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