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What Was It With Me And Organized Beatings, Anyway?

-Kim Harrison

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What Was It With

Kim Harrison

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What Was It With Me And Organized Beatings, Anyway?

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There Were No More Choices, No More Options, No More Clever Ways Out Of A Tough Situation. And The Rush, I Realized In A Brutal Wash Of Despair, Is A False God I’ve Chased My Entire Life. One That Cost Me Everything In The Blind Search For Sensation. My Entire Existence Amounted To Nothing.

Okay, I Like Him,” I Admitted. “but It Takes More Than A Nice Body, Jenks. Jeez, I Do Have A Little Depth. You’ve Got A Great Body, And You Don’t See Me Trying To Get Into Your Fruit Of The Looms.

I Didn’t Know What I Was Going To Say, A Feeling That Was Compounded When The Line Clicked Open And Trent’s Very Muzzy Voice Murmured, “rachel? Mmm, Hi.

Keep Your Vampire Mitts Off Me. I'm Not Your Friggin' Blood Toy.

No, You Just Keep Crashing My Life. Look—" I Said, And Al Grunted. "here It Comes," The Demon Muttered. "listen. Listen To This, Runt. She's Going To Have A List.

The Car Picked Up Speed, And The Sound Seemed To Lull Me.i Could Relax, I Thought As I Felt The Tingling Of Circulation In My Limbs. I Was In Trent’s Car, Wrapped In A Blanket, And Held In His Arms. He Wouldn’t Let Anything Hurt Me. He Wasn’t Singing, Though,i Mused.shouldn’t He Be Singing?

What Are You Doing Now?" Al Questioned "seeing If Your Circumcision Is Gone? It Is. My Expression Went Blank, And Trent Hesitated. He Looked At Me, And I Put A Hand To My Mouth, Face Flaming. "oh. My. God. Trent. I'm Sorry" "um" Trent Said, Clearly At A Loss. "call Me Tomorrow," Al Said Seriously, "i've Got A Curse That Will Take Care Of That. Unless You Like The Snake In A Turtleneck Look

I’m Your Worst Nightmare Come To Walk This Side Of The Lines. I’m An Elf, Trent Something You’re Forgotten How To Be. You’re Scared Of Black Magic. I Can See Fear Shimmering Under Your Aura Like Sweat. I Live And Breathe Black Magic. I’m So Tainted With It That I Will Use It Without Thought, Without Guilt And Without Hesitation.

Worst Nightmares

Maybe He Thinks He Can Rescue Me? No One Is That Stupid.

Teens Like A Lot Of The Same Things Adults Do: Smart People Doing Amazing Things Against Awful Odds.

I'd Watch Your Mouth", He Said, Tilting His Head As He Looked At My Id."the Last Lunker Who Laughed At Her Picture Spent The Night In The Emergency Room With A Drink Umbrella Jammed Up His Nose".

Maybe I Could Be Friends With A Ghost. I Wouldn’t Be Able To Kill Him.

Lately I’d Begun Carrying Pain Amulets In My Bag, Like Some People Have Breath Mints.

Sure, He Had A Wife And Fifty-four Kids, But He Looked Like A College Freshman. A Yummy College Freshman Majoring In Oh-my-god-i-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.

You Should Be Dead," He Said, His Voice Full Of Wonder. "how Is It That You're Still Alive?" Jaw Clenched, I Worked At His Grip On Me, Trying To Get My Fingers Between Him And My Wrist. "i Work Hard At It.

No," She Said Firmly. "i Want You To Stay When I Go. Break Tradition Again, My Love, And Burn Me Alone In The Home We Built. I Don't Want You With Me. You Aren't Done. You See Too Far Ahead. You Need To Make The World In Your Thoughts A Real One That Our Children Can Fly In." - Matalina To Jenks

Nick As In My Former Boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, Ex-boyfriend, Ex-alive If I Ever Got Hold Of Him Nick.

He Froze As The Scent Of Her Hair Met Him. It Was Touching His Cheek,tickling Him. I Cant Afford This, He Thought, But He Didnt Move, Watching Her Finger Trace The New Line. "he Cracked My Mirror,"she Said, Clearly Angry.

The Gentle Sound Of Her Words Became The Shushing Of My Blood In My Head, And I Listened, Hovering On The Edge Of Consciousness, Bathed In The Oblivion Of Whatever Drug They Had Given Me.

Life Was Going On, And No One But A Handful Of People Cared If I Lived Or Died.

I Tried To Breathe, Failing. I Clutched Her To Me, Tears Slipping From Under My Closed Eyes. It Was As If Her Soul Was Liquid Fire And I Could Feel Her Aura, Swirling About Mine. She Was Taking My Aura. But I Wanted To Give It To Her, To Cat Her In A Small Part Of Me And Protect Her. Her Needs Made Her So Fragile.

I Will Compensate All Your One-inch, Two-inch Losses Because I Know How Important Every Inch Is To You Aged, Decrepit Men.

I Ought To File Charges Of Uncommon Stupidity Against You For Letting Her Try This Alone." ~ Newt, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Face It, You Stupid Little Cookie Maker,” Jenks Said, Almost Sounding Fond, “in The Last Couple Of Days You’ve Seen What It’s Like To Be In A Family, With All The Touchy Tempers And Irritation That Goes On. Now You Get To See The Other Side, Where We Do Stupid Stuff For Each Other Just Because We Like You. Rache Is The Little Sister. Ivy’s The Big Sister. I’m The Uncle From Out Of State, And You’re The Rich Nephew No One Likes But We Put Up With You Anyway Because We Feel Sorry For You. Just Let Me Help, Huh? It Won’t Kill You.

A Devious Spark Lit Through Al, Making Me Smile. One Way. It Costs Too Much, He Said. “there’s No Inflation In The Ever-after, Al.” Call It A Recession Then. One Way.

Just Because I Don't Wear My Heart On My Sleeve - " "you Don't Even Wear Your Heart In Your Chest.

But A Slow, Deeply Satisfied Smile Came Over Him, And His Breath Quickened. 'so Softly It Starts,' He Whispered. 'foolishly Clever And With An Unsurvivable Trust. It Just Saved Your Miserable Life, That Questionable Show Of Thought, My Itchy-witch.' Al’s Smile Shifted, Becoming Lighter. 'and Now You Will Live To Possibly Regret It.

Boots And Leather Jackets Were Strewn On Her Bed, And What Looked Like A New Knife Set. She’d Taken A Class Last Winter And Was Dying To Try Them Out Legally On Someone.

Pierce Jerked His Hand From Trent And Pushed Himself Straight. “kalamack Industries,” He Said, Expression Twisted As He Wiped His Hand On His Pants. “i Knew Your Father.” “i Do Not Freaking Believe This,” I Said, Shifting To Stand Where I Could See Both Of Them. Al Beamed. “amazing Who You Can Meet In An Elevator.

I’d Given Up On The White Picket Fence After Kisten Had Died—finding Out My Kids Would Be Demons Was The Nail In The Coffin.

Al Was Standing A Bare Three Feet Away, His Mood Almost Jovial As He Took The Paper And It Vanished In A Wash Of Black Sparkles. “thank You, Rachel,” He Said, Carefully Reaching For My Hand As Trent Stiffened. “welcome Back, My Itchy Witch.

And While Seeing Trent In His Tighty-whities Would Make My Decade, I’d Found Out Long Ago That I Couldn’t Stay Mad At A Man Wearing Nothing But Underwear. They Looked So Charmingly Vulnerable.

And If He Is Lying And He Double-crosses You, I’ll Kill Him For You.” From Anyone Else, It Would Have Been An Idle Threat, And I Smiled, Feeling Loved. (ivy And Rachel)

If It Was Up To Me, I’d Choose The Hard Path With The Easy Ending, Not The Easy Path With The Hard End.

Five Trolls In A Dra-a-a-a-ag,' The Four-inch Man Sang From My Shoulder. 'four Purple Condoms, Three French Ticklers, Two Horny Vamps And A Succubus In The Snow.

Did Something Happen To The Sanctity Of Your Church Again?" My Eye Twitched. "newt Broke It So She Could Look In My Closet." Again.

What Was It With Me And Organized Beatings, Anyway?

Sure Am Glad I'm Not Royalty," I Muttered. "i Wouldn't Want To Have To Bump Uglies With Someone I Can't Stand. On A Regular Basis. And No One Else." "ow!" I Exclaimed, Trying To Yank My Fingers From Trent But Finding Them Caught. Then I Colored, Realizing What I'd Said. "oh… Sorry," I Stammered, Meaning It. "that Was Insensitive." Trent's Frown Turned Into A Sly Smirk. "bump Uglies?" He Said, Eyes On The Table Behind Me. "you Are A Font Of Gutter Slang, Rachel. We Must Do This Again.

That’s My Girl,” She Said, Her Eyes Holding A Shared Pain As She Saw My Confusion. “al, Where Are You Going To Put Her? Not In Your Room. She’d Pull A Line Through You And Kill You When You Hog The Blankets. I’ll Take The Waif In. I Promise I’ll Bring This One Up Properly.

Hapa Was Like Mint. You Could Rip It Up, And Six Months Later, It Was Back, Healthier Than Ever. Mint Smelled Better, Though, And You Could Make Juleps Out Of It. I Don’t Know What I Could Make Out Of Hapa. Compost, Maybe.

And What’s Important To You?” I Asked. Marshal Thought While We Maneuvered Around Darth Vader, Who Was Struggling To Keep From Hitting The Wall With His Helmet Blocking His Vision. “success At Work. Having Fun Doing It. Caring For Someone And Supporting Their Interests Because You Like To See Them Happy. Having Them Care About And Support Yours Simply Because They Want To See You Happy.

Though No One Had Been Buried Here For Almost Thirty Years, The Grass Was Mown By Yours Truly. I Felt A Tidy Graveyard Made A Happy Graveyard.

By Tink's Diaphram...!

I Wish I Could Say I Write 9-5. It's Usually More Like 8-6, Every Day But The Weekends.

[jenks]"i Think You're All Screwy In The Head," He Said When Bis Nodded His Encouragement. "but Go Ahead. I've Got Quen's Number In My Phone. I'll Call Him If You Both Explode In A Flash Of Black Underwear And Money So I Won't Have To Fly All The Way Home.

Like The End Of A Picnic, All The Weenies Will Be Roasted.

I Grew Up Reading Sf In The 70s And 80s, And I Like Fast, Thought-provoking Plots That Take You Places In Fully Realized Worlds.

Thought Provoking

Hey,” The Other Said, Coming To Life. “you’re Supposed To Be In Jail.” Al Grinned At Him, His White-gloved Grip Tightening On The Wooden Handle, Which Was Intricately Carved In The Shape Of A Naked, Writhing Woman. Nice. “and Your Momma Wanted You To Have A Brain,” He Said, Yanking The Door Open And Slamming It Into The Guy’s Face.

The Demon's Eyes Flicked To Mine, His Smile Widening. "this Is Nicholas Gregory Sparagmos's Room," He Said, And My Breath Caught. "delightful, Just Delightful! What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Ooooh, He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You For Taking Care Of That Little Problem! I Should Give You A Bunny. Where Is He? Stuffed In A Closet?" ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

A Witch, A Vampire, And A Pixy Walk Into A Bar, I Thought As I Led The Way Into The Squirrel’s End. It Was Early, And The Sun Had Yet To Set When The Door Swung Shut Behind Jenks, Sealing Us In The Warm Air Smelling Faintly Of Smoke. Immediately Nick Yanked It Open To Come In Behind Us. And There’s The Punch Line.

For All His Sourness, He Was Ruled By His Heart.

I’m Not Going To Pick Her Up And Carry Her Screaming To The Basement,” Trent Said. “it’s A Workday. Besides, She Has A Crutch.” “crutch Or No, She’s Hurt!” Ceri Protested. “i Mean,” Trent Said Intently, “she Can Hit Me With It If I Do Something She Doesn’t Like.

Happy Endings Were Never Handed Out. You Had To Fight For Them, Earn Them With Bruised Hearts And Sacrifices.

Come Work For Me, And I’ll Tell You.” My Eyes Went To His. “you Are A Thief, A Cheat, A Murderer, And A Not-nice Man,” I Said Calmly. “i Don’t Like You.” He Shrugged, The Motion Making Him Look Utterly Harmless. “i’m Not A Thief,” He Said. “and I Don’t Mind Manipulating You Into Working For Me When I Need It.” He Smiled, Showing Me Perfect Teeth. “i Enjoy It, Actually.

Minias Smiled. Great. Another Charming Demon. I Sort Of Prefer The Insane Ones.

You Think My Kids Just Popped Out Of The Ground?

So Much For Playing Nice.tired, I Let My Eyes Shut While They Argued, Hoping I Didn’t Die In The Interim And Make The Problem Moot. I Wasn’t Ever Going To Get My Water. Ever.

God, It Stinks,” I Said, Hand Over My Nose As He Pulled Me Into A Long Step. Al Strode Forward, Head High. “it’s The Stench Of Bureaucracy, My Itchy-witch, And Why I Chose To Go Into Human Resources When But A Wee Lad.

Gaily, If You Can't Demonstrate The Ability To Keep Her Alive, Then I Will Take Over Her Care And Get You A Dog Instead." - Newt

You Can Trust Me To Keep My Word. I Always Keep My Word, Promises Or Threats.

Find Eloy. Smack His Head Into A Wall, Dance On His Guts... I'd Get Creative. Spontaneous Like.

Be Reasonable. I Know You Can Be. If You Try Very, Very Hard.” - Al To Rachel

Relief Spilled Into Me. He Wanted To Live. He Just Didn't Know How.

The Quickest Way To A Woman's Crotch Is Through Her Gullet. Can I Make You A Cake?" Big Al To Pierce, Then Rachel.

It Is Not Always What We Do, Sa'han, But Who We Love That Makes Us Who We Are. Quen

He Wanted That Again, That Feeling Of Standing With Her Against All Odds And Succeeding. He Wanted It So Bad, He Was Going To Risk Destroying Everything He And His Father Had Worked For.

His Eyes Met Mine At The Soft Touch, And A Chime Seemed To Shake The Ley Line, Realigning The Universe. He Was Mine.

I Staggered Backward-her One Hand Gripping My Shoulder, The Other Still Holding My Wrists Behind Her-and She Followed Until My Back Hit The Wall.

Can We Get Back To How We’re Going To Kill Nick? And What’s This About A Dead Body? You’d Better Start Talking Quick, Ivy, ’cause I’m Not Going To Play Hide-and-seek With A Dead Guy In My Trunk. I Did That In College, And I’m Not Going To Do It Again.” A Smile Quirked Ivy’s Mouth. “really?” She Asked, And I Flushed.

They Weren’t Idiots, But I Attracted Trouble That Just Begged Me To Beat It Into Submission.

With A Gentle Pressure, Our Lips Met. His Hands Slipped More Firmly About Me, And I Held Myself Back, Not Afraid, But Wanting To Feel Everything Slowly As I Leaned In, Tasting The Wine On Him, Feeling The Warmth Of His Body Pressing Into Mine, Breathing In Our Scents That Were Mingling And Changing With The Warmth. My Hands Rose To Find His Hair, And I Relaxed Into Him As The Silky Strands Brushed Through My Fingers. I Wanted More, And I Leaned Into Him As Our Lips Moved Against Each Other.

I Think She Suspects Something, Though. We’ve Had Cherry Pie For Dessert Five Nights In A Row.” His Voice Drawled, And My Smile Deepened.

A Slow Smile Curved Over My Face, And I Leaned Down Over Him. "no," I Said. "wishes Are Lies. Tell Me You're Going To Leave. Tell Me You're Not Going To Stay. Tell Me That It's Only For A While So I Can Enjoy Today," I Whispered In His Ear, As If Saying It Louder Would Break Me. "and When You Go, Don't Think Me Cold When I Don't Cry. I Can't Cry Anymore, Pierce. It Hurts Too Much.

She Had Given Me A Piece Of What Made Her Life Sane.

Rachel, You Summon Demons. You’re Good At It. Get Over It, Then Find A Way To Make It Work For You. It’s Not Going To Go Away.

Rachel,” Came A Raspy Voice From The Upper Level, And Both Trent And I Turned. It Was Quen, Wrapped In A Blanket As If It Was A Death Shroud, The Black-haired Intern At His Side, Supporting Him. His Hair Was Plastered To His Skull With Sweat, And I Could See Him Wavering As He Stood There. “don’t Touch Trenton,” He Said, His Gravelly Voice Clear In The Hush, “or I’m Going To Have To Come Down There…and Smack You Around.

Trent And Ellasbeth Did The Nasty? Ewwww!

Yes, But . . .” She Hesitated, Her Gaze Finally Coming To Me. “i Survived Because I Fell In Love.” With You Was Unspoken.

I Fell In Love With You

Was Using “dead-man’s-toe” Morally Okay If The Man’s Relatives Had Knowingly Sold Him For Parts?

"we Were The Pair. One Too Afraid To Feel Anything Lest She Lose Control Of Her Ironclad Hold On Her Emotions, And The Other So Hungry To Feel Anything That She´d Risk Her Free Will For One Night Of Fun.".

Don’t You Listen To Them, Rexy,” I Cooed, And The Cat Sniffed My Nose. “rachel Is A Smart Girl. She’s Not Going To Go Out With A Ghost No Matter How Sexy He Is. She Knows Better. Jenkskie Wenskie Can Just Get Bent.” I Beamed At Jenks, And He Made An Ugly Face. “rache, Put My Cat Down Before You Mess With Her Kitty Brain.

The Mistakes Don't Matter. It's What You Do When You Mess Up That Does.

I Have A Name,” I Grumped, My Stomach Pinching Me Harder. “yes, But It Has No Pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” He Said, Trying It Out In Different Ways. “no One Will Tremble In Terror At That. Oh My God!” He Said In A High Falsetto. “it’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

I Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, 'that Is Good, And It's A Part Of Me.'

That Was Humanity's Problem Right There. They Are Brain Damaged From The Early Sun

I Got It This Time, Daddy Warbucks," I Said.

Just So You Know, I’ve Trusted You Since Camp.

I've Found That When I'm Having Trouble Solidifying A Character Or A Scene, That Music Will Often Free My Subconscious Just That Last Little Bit To Allow Me To Move Forward, And Often It's In A Direction That I Didn't Expect, But Is 100 Percent True To The Character.

Trent, Do You Have Any Weapons? Like A Gun?” He Looked At Me In Disgust. “you’re Here To Protect Me,” He Said As He Closed The Distance Between Us And Stood Beside Me. “you Didn’t Bring A Weapon?” “yeah, I Brought A Weapon,” I Snapped As I Brought My Splat Gun Out And Aimed It At The Ceiling Where The Sounds Were Coming From. “i Just Thought That Since You’re A Freaking Murderer You Might Have A Gun, Too (...)

Maybe If I Didn't Say Anything About What Happened, We Could Get Back To The Way We Were. Ignoring A Problem Was A Perfectly Acceptable Way To Deal With It, As Long As Both People Agree Never To Bring It Up Again.

I Didn’t Mean Now,” He Protested. “i’m Not Going To Raise The Child. I’m Having Enough Trouble With Rachel.

What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Oooh! He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You Taking Care Of That Little Problem? I Should Give You A Bunny!" - Algaliarept

I Sat For A Moment, Figuring Things Out, Then Decided To Stay There. If I Was On The Floor, I Couldn't Fall Down.

Figuring Things

You Think Ivy's A Planner? She Has Nothing On A Motivated Elf With Too Much Money.

But He's Rachel Candy!" -both Jenks And Al

There Is Black. There Is White. Gray Is A Cowardly Excuse To Mix Our Wants With Our Needs.

The Mad Have A Grace All Their Own

Good God,” I Whispered, Sitting On The Van’s Cot And Looking At My Legs, Horrified. They Were Hairy—not Wolf Hairy, But An I-couldn’t-find-my-razor-the-last-six-months Hairy. Utterly Grossed Out, I Took A Peek At My Armpit, Jerking Away. Oh, That’s Just…nasty.

It’s A Cat. Boy, You Couldn’t Slip Anything Past Me Tonight.

Newt Spun, Making Her Robe Unfurl. “he’s My Familiar, Bought And Paid For. I Can Claim Anything Of His. Even His Life.” Al Cleared His Throat Nervously. “that’s Good To Know,” He Said Lightly. “important Safety Tip. Rachel, Write That Down Somewhere As Lesson Number One.

I Have To Save The World Tomorrow, And I Don't Even Know What I'm Going To Wear Yet.--rachel Morgan

Jenks Enthusiastically Leaned Against The Counter And Opened The Box. Bypassing The Plastic Knife, He Broke Off About A Third Of It And Took A Huge Bite. Ivy Watched, Appalled, And I Shrugged. His Mouth Moving As He Hummed, Jenks Finished Unpacking The Sacks. I Was Half Dead, Ivy Was Whoring Herself To Keep Me Safe, But Jenks Was Okay As Long As He Had Chocolate.

It Stinks Of Trains And That Chili With The Chocolate In It. Ooooh, Books!" He Exclaimed Suddenly, Making A Beeline For The Small Library. (al)

You Need Me, Just Whistle," He Said As He Arranged His Ball Cap Over His Eyes Against The Sun Leaking Through The Frost-emptied Branches. "you're Not Coming?" Lifting The Brim Of His Cap, He Eyed Me, "you Want Me To?" He Asked Blandly. "not Really, No." He Dropped The Brim And Laced His Hands Over His Middle. "then Why Are You Bitching? It's A Crime Scene, Not A Grocery Store.

I Was Having Coffee With My Bodyguard. I Didn't Expect To Be Hunting Bad Guys Until Later. Leather Before Sundown Is Tacky.

That's Why I Want You There, He Said. You're Unpredictable, And That Can Be The Difference Between Success And Failure. Most People Make Decisions In Anger, Fear, Love, Or Obligation. You Make Decisions To Irritate People.

Jenks, You Can Fly Me Up The Rest Of The Way To Trent, And Then Pow! I Give Trent His Statue." "pow, You'll Be Naked!" Jenks Exclaimed. (rachel And Jenks)

Plan B?' Ivy Said. 'what Is Plan B?' Jenks Reddened. 'grab The Fish And Run Like Hell,' He Muttered, And I Almost Giggled.

Where Did He Go!” He Bellowed, Gloved Hands Clenching. “i Had Him In A Snare That Would Take Alexander The Great A Lifetime To Untwist, And He Did It In A Week!” Al Took A Step, Pinwheeling As His Booted Heel Found An Ice Cube.

Apparently Their Numerous Tattoos Gave Them Protection Against The Cold As They Had No Coats.

I Frowned, Wondering If Trent Would Mind Being The Size Of A Fairy For A Day. He Could Talk To The Newest Tenants In His Garden.

Men,” She Said As She Took My Arm And Led Me To The Brightly Lit Room. “they Forget We Need To See The Outcome Of Pain Before We Willingly Put Ourselves Through It. How Else Would We Suffer Nine Months To Have A Beautiful Child? We Already Know We Have Guts.

You Have Such Interesting Thoughts. No Wonder Witches Are Ephemeral. You Drive Yourself Crazy. You Should Simply Do What You Want Without The Soul-searching. It Will Be Easier In The Long Run, Rachel Mariana Morgan.

People Ask Me What I Do In My Spare Time, And I Look At Them Blankly, Truly Believing That I Don't Even Have Spare Time, And If I Did, I'd Probably Use It For Something Mundane, Like Chipping Away At The Mound Of Laundry Rising To Dangerous Proportions In The Back Room.

Looking At Everything, I Started To Feel Nauseous, As If The Seventies Had Taken Refuge Here Against Extinction And Were Preparing To Take Over The World.

The Undead Did Not Love, But They Remembered Love With A Savage Loyalty.

I Thought It Odd That The Woman Was Over A Thousand Years Old But Thought The Microwave Was Primitive.

Piscary Killed People, But He Didn’t Have The Concept Of Pity Or Remorse. It Would Be Like Telling A Shark He Was A Bad Fish And To Stop Eating People. But Trent? He Knew He Was Doing Wrong, And He Did It Anyway.

If He Betrays You, I Will Finish What I Started With His Fingers," He Said, And I Shivered. "tell Him That.

The Small Gargoyle Had Gone Entirely White To Match The Ceiling, And Only The Rims Of His Ears, His Long Clawlike Nails, And A Thick Stripe Down His Whip-like Tail Were Still Gray. He Was Crawling Along The Ceiling Like A Bat, Wings Held To Make Sharp Angles And Claws Extended. It Just About Broke My Creepy Meter.

We Could've Done This Anywhere, But I Wanted You To See Me, To See This," He Said, Gesturing At The Room. "i Wanted You To Know Where I Come From, What I Am Under The Choices I Make.

I Told You, Computers Are Like Women. If You Shout At Them Or Ask Them To Do Too Many Things At Once, They Shut Down And You Won't Even Get A Sniff" Pg. 4

Most Of The Upper Management Of I.s. Were Undead. I Always Thought It Was Because The Job Was Easier If You Didn't Have A Soul.

I'll Wait For You Under The Bluebells. I'll Be There Always.

Who’s Going To Keep Them From Wiping Us Out Species By Species? Not Me. We Aren’t Prepared For A New Demographic Of Magic-using Humans Who Are Sadistic, Power Hungry, Don’t Like Inderlanders, And See Genocide As An Acceptable Form Of Communication.

Ku’sox Was Indeed A Demon. In. The. Sun. I Needed Answers, But I Wanted Them From Al, Not…cute Socks Here.

Her Tiny Hand Gripped Mine With A Surprising Warmth, And In A Shocking Wash Of Emotion, I Felt Everything I Knew Shift. The Scent Of Cinnamon And Baby Powder Hit Me, And As My Eyes Widened, My Heart Melted, Making Room For Her.

I Want…” He Said, Then Hesitated, Taking A Breath Of Air And Lifting His Chin. “i Want One Pure Thing In My Life,” He Said Loudly, His Voice Ringing In The Red-tinted Air. “i Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, ‘that Is Good, And It’s A Part Of Me.

All I'd Have To Do Then Was Roll With The Consequences Of Inviting Dewinged, Fanged Fairies Into Trent's Backyard. God, They Were Savage Looking. Served Him Right.

Ivy Turned. 'he Bit You On The Neck?' She Said, Deadpan Serious But For Her Eyes. 'oh, Then It's Got To Be Love. She Won't Let Me Bite Her Neck.

Music Moves Society More Than Most People Realize. In My Opinion, It's A Soft Manipulator Of Influence And Change.

Numb, I Took The Perfectly Browned Puff. Okay. Let Me See If I Have This Right. Al Provokes Me Into Defending Myself. I Nearly Kill Him. Then Newt Tries To Kill Me, Thinking I'm Ku'sox. Al Stops Her, Saving My Life. And Now We're All Going To Have S'mores Together?

Sure, It Was Nice Now, But Eventually There Would Be Running And Screaming And Blood On The Floor.

Good Lord, I Thought, Squinting At The Bright Glare Of A Late-july Morning. No Wonder I Slept Through This. It Was Noisy With Shrieking Birds, And Already Hot.

Join Us Next Time For Days Of The Undead When Rachel Learns Her Long Lost Brother Is Really A Crown Prince From Outer Space.

Cincinnati Morgue, An Equal-opportunity Service Since 1966.

We All Watched Al Open The Door. Turning, He Waved To Us, Then Passed The Threshold. The Door Shut Behind Him. I Waited For Something To Happen. Nothing Did. “this Isn’t Good,” Quen Said. I Choked Back My Burst Of Laughter, Knowing It Would Come Out Sounding Hysterical.

What Are You?" I Rasped. It Smiled. "whatever Scares You.

Shouts Of Dismay Rose As The Red Flesh Splattered Against The Table. It Was Only A Tomato, But One Would Think I Was Pulping A Decaying Heart By The Noise The Big, Strong Fib Officers Were Making.

And I’m Not Spying! I’m Evaluating!” “it’s The Same Difference!

Shot Me Twice. I Want My Name, Or I'm Going To Start Charging You A Fee Every Time I Field Something For You. And It's Going To Be Expensive. I'm Park Place. Bud-dy." His Red, Goat-slitted Eyes Squinted At Me From Over His Smoked Glasses. "you're More Like Oriental Avenue Right Now, Dove. What Are You On?

You Look Like The Vamp Who Bled The Cat.

My Mother Isn't Crazy. She Simply Has A Harder Time Than Most Reconciling Her Reality With Everyone Else's Reality.

Come On, Rachel!" Jenks Shrilled. "you're A Badass, Not A Bad Witch!

Her Elf Is Going To Do Just That,” He Said, The Red Glow Of The Ever-after Sun Turning His Hair Auburn, Almost As Red As Mine. “i Did Not Work This Hard At Getting Her To Accept Who She Is To Let You Take Your Spoiled Brat Of A Little-boy Temper Tantrum Out On Her. She Stays On My Side Of The Lines.

Tension Pulled My Eyes Open When Her Fingers Traced A Trail Down My Neck. Sensation Blossomed, And I Threw My Head Back And Sucked In The Air. Her Arm Slipped Around My Waist, Catching Me Before I Fell.

You Just Click Your Heels And Think There's No Place Like Being Pwned.

Death And Blood Didn’t Turn On A Vampire. Fear And The Chance To Take Blood Did. There Was A Difference.

He's Going To Hurt You," Al Said, Looking At Pierce. "i Can Take Care Of You, Teach You To Survive. Be There For You, Even If You Do Hate Me." I Shivered. "i Don't Want Him," I Said, And Al Turned Away, Seeming Smaller Somehow.

I Am Black,” She Said, And A Shudder Rippled Through Me. “i Am Foul With A Thousand Years Of Demon Curses. Don’t Cross Me Or I Will Bring You And Your House Down. Rachel Is The Only Clean Thing I Have, And You Won’t Sully Her To Further Your High Ideas.

See, This Was Why I Liked Coffee. You Couldn’t Screw Up Making Coffee. Even The Bad Stuff Was Good.

My Blood Rose, Mixing With My Lingering Fear Of The Unknown To Drive Her To A Fever Pitch. Her Lips Touched My Lower Neck And Vertigo Spun The Room, Burning Tracings Of Desire To Settle Deep And Low In Me. I Exhaled Into The Promise Of More To Come, Calling It To Me. I Breathed It In Like Smoke, The Rising Passion Starting A Feeling Of Abandonment Inside. I Didn’t Care Anymore If It Was Right Or Wrong. It Just Was.

Get Your Hand Off Me,” I Exclaimed, Voice Loud With Misplaced Anger As I Yanked Away From His Grip. “i’m A Professional, Not Some Distraught Girlfriend.” Well, I Was That Too, But I Knew How To Act At A Crime Scene.

Trent Looked Me Up And Down. “is That All You’re Going To Do?” My Pulse Quickened, And I Gazed At The Front Of The Basilica Where The Scratching Was Coming From. “i Might Have A Snack Later If Nothing Comes Through Those Doors.

My God", He Whispered. What Have I Done To Her? He Thought, Humbled. The Spell Was Broken, But It Wasn't Sealed, And Her Soul Was Bare To Him, The Scars Of Her Tragic Past And Her Triumphs Over Pain And Her Aching Need To Find Her Place. He Just Wanted To Hold Her To Him And Tell Her It Would Be Okay, That She Had Survived And Was Beautiful.

Typical" Kisten Said, His Eyes Dramatically Sad. "try To Do Something Nice For A Person, Cheer Her Up, And What Do I Get? Abused And Robbed.

But I Knew Nick. He Was Too Ugly To Die.

Your Hair Is A Tangled Mess,"he Said, Thinking He Liked It That Way, Like A Lion's Mane.

I Pushed Him Away, Catching Lee's Awe That I Was Not Only Standing With A Demon Outside A Circle, But That Al Was Treating Me Like An Equal. Or Maybe A Favorite Pet, I Amended As Al Caught Me When I Started To Tilt.

Actually, I Am Kind Of Busy Right Now,” I Drawled As I Settled Back Into The Chair And Closed My Eyes. “you Have To Make Melanin While The Sun Shines.

Married Pixy, I Told Myself, Forcing My Eyes Back To The Shelf Of Ceramic Animals. Fifty-four Kids. Beautiful Wife, Sweet As Sugar, Who Would Kill Me In My Sleep While Apologizing For It.

I Won’t Snatch, Harm, Or Scare To Death People With You Or Use Checking Up On You As An Excuse To Cause Trouble. You’re Worse Than My Mother, Rachel.” “mine, Too,” Jenks Muttered.

Algaliarept Varied Its Shape, Sifting Through My Mind Without Me Even Knowing To Choose What Scared Me The Most. Once It Had Been Ivy. Then Kisten —until I Had Pinned Him In An Elevator In A Foolish Moment Of Vampire-induced Passion. It's Hard To Be Scared Of Someone After You've French-kissed Him.

Do You Have A Sleeping Bag?” I Stared At Him. “no. I Lost It In The Great Salt-dip Of ’06.

Making A Spell Is Easy. It's Trusting You Did It Right That's Hard.

She's Not Your Type. Since When Do I Have A Type?

You Tried To Slide His Original Curse Back Onto Him?” Al Said In Wonder. “at The Restaurant? And I Stopped You? Sweet Mother Pus Bucket!” He Exclaimed, And I Swear, Dust Sifted From The Ceiling. “rachel, We Have To Work On This Communication Thing.

Al's Red Eyes Slid Past Me To Pierce. "play?" He Said, His Voice Dripping With Interest. "gordian Nathaniel Pierce's Quirks Are Legendary. Why Do You Think I Want The Runt So Badly? Size Truly Doesn't Matter If You Can Do What He Can." ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Ford Put A Hand To His Head. “back Up. Back Up!” He Cried. “you’re Too Close.” Heart Pounding, I Looked At The Eight Feet Between Us And Pressed Into The Fridge. “i Think He Meant For The Ghost To Back Up,” Jenks Said Dryly.

You Need A New Hobby, Rachel. Something Other Than Nasty Little Men With Visions Of World Domination.

I Felt Sick. Buying Kisten’s And My Safety From Piscary Was So Wrong. But It Was Either That Or Deal With A Demon, And I’d Rather Keep My Soul Clean And Let My Morals Get Dingy.

God, If You Ever Loved Me, Open My Eyes For Me When I'm Being This Stupid! (ron)

People Die, Rachel," Ceri Said, Her Cheeks Flushing. "not If I Can Help It," I Snapped. "and Not Of A Broken Heart. If You Could, I'd Be Dead Already.

She Was Getting Bitchy.that Was A Good Sign. "what Am I Supposed To Do Till You Get Back?" I Said, Patting The Smouldering Leather. "hide In My Closet? I"d Rather Be With You.

It Was Starting To Smell Really Good In Here. And If I Liked What It Smelled Like, Then They Were Liking What They Were Smelling, And Ah…that Would Be Me.

You Are Your Father's Daughter,' He Said, The Skin Around His Eyes Tightening. 'trent Is His Father's Son. Apart, You Are Annoying. Together...you Have The Potential To Be A Problem.

I Could Sit And Watch Nature Documentaries With Jenks And The Kids The Rest Of The Night If I Wanted. And Trust Me, Watching A Dozen Pixies Scream As A Crocodile Chomped On A Zebra Was Something Not To Be Missed. They Invariably Cheered For The Crocodile, Not The Zebra.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies," Jenks Whispered, Empty And Bereft. "my Word Silent, Though I Should Howl. Muffled By Death, My Wings Can't Lift Me High Enough To Find You. I Feel You Within. Unaware Of My Pain. Not Knowing Why I Mourn. And Why I Breathe Alone.

Jenks Made A Move To Follow, Probably Forgetting He Didn’t Have Wings Anymore. He Leaned Forward And Fell To The Floor, Face First. “jenks!” I Shouted When He Hit With A Dull Smack And Started Swearing.

Al's Voice Was Faint But Resolute. "stand Up. Try To Look Sexy." "in A Bedsheet?" I Complained, Running My Hands Down It. "how Can I Look Sexy In A Bedsheet?" He Cleared His Throat, And I Grimaced. "never Mind.

Hey!" I Exclaimed, Seeing The Total. "they're Charging Me Retail. Glenn!" I Complained. "they Can't Do That." I Shook It At Him. "i Shouldn't Have To Pay Retail!" "what Did You Expect? You Can Keep That. It's Your Copy." I Sat Back In A Huff And Shoved It In My Bag With My Sticky Scarf As He Typed His Slow, Painful Way Through My Report. "where's This Human Compassion I Keep Hearing About?" "that's It, Baby Doll," He Said, Voice Smoother Than Usual. He Was Laughing At Me.

Hate Is All That Keeps Us Alive When Love Is Gone. You’re Almost There. Not Quite Ready To Let It Go Yet.

Rachel, You Take Her,” My Mother Said, Clearly Uncomfortable. “she Might Like You.” “no. Mom, No!” I Protested, But It Was My Mother We Were Talking About, And It Was Either Take The Baby Or Have Her Hit The Floor.

Rachel, We've Been Over This. This Is What I Do," He Said, Crumbs Of Whiten Cheese Falling From The Knife. "find A Way For Your Lofty, Unrealistic Ideals To Deal With It.

Being Poor Is Not An Indication Of Potential Or Worth. It’s A Lack Of Resources.

...it's Easier To Find A Way To Make Money At Something You Love Than To Learn To Love A Job That You Can Make Money At.

I Suddenly Realized That A Bunch Of My Friends Needed Babysitters And Vowed To Start Screening My Calls.

But The Same Things That Had Once Attracted Menow Left Me With A Mild Sense Of Unease. Ivy Would Say I Was Getting Smarter, But I Just Felt…empty.

She Just Threatened To Throw The Next Man Who Shoots At You Out The Window. Megan Is Awake. She Offered To Help. God, Trent, What Is It With You And Women?

It Was A Nice Bit Of Blackmail That Kept Him Off My Back, But He Refused To Take The Message That I Wasn’t Going To Work For Him. ’course, That Might Be My Fault…since I Seemed Unable To Say No When He Waved Enough Money At Me.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies. Jenks (black Magic Sanction)

Rachel, What Do You Do? Put An Ad In The Paper For Trouble? (glenn)

I Sighed. I Hated The Maze Of Bureaucracy With A Passion, But I've Found The Best Way To Deal With It Is To Smile And Act Stupid. That Way, No One Gets Confused.

Breaking Rules Isn't Bad When What You're Doing Is More Important Than The Rule Itself

Hovering Near Panic, Trying To Focus But Finding It Hard To Open My Eyes. My Heart Was Pounding. I Couldn’t Get Enough Air, And I Couldn’t Find The Desire To Push Her Away

And Then There Are The Rare Ones Who Know Love, Who Understand It. Who Freely Give Of Themselves, Demanding Only A Return Of That Love,that Trust.

The Warm Dampness Of Her Breath Made Me Shiver At The Mix Of The Familiar And The Unknown, With A Soft Exhalation She Shifted Her Head And Her Lips Found My Collarbone, Teasingly Shy Of My Old Scar. Tendrils Pulsed In Time With My Heart, Building On The Ones Before To An Unseen Height.

...treat People With Understanding When You Can, And Fake It When You Can't Until You Do Understand.

Knowledge Is Power. Ignorance Is Bliss. But Curiosity—even If It Had Killed The Cat—is King.

Coffee. I Could Smell Coffee. Coffee Would Make Everything Better.

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