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The Warm Dampness Of Her Breath Made Me Shiver At The Mix Of The Familiar And The Unknown, With A Soft Exhalation She Shifted Her Head And Her Lips Found My Collarbone, Teasingly Shy Of My Old Scar. Tendrils Pulsed In Time With My Heart, Building On The Ones Before To An Unseen Height.

-Kim Harrison

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The Warm Dampness Of

Kim Harrison

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The Warm Dampness Of Her Breath Made Me Shiver At The Mix Of The Familiar And The Unknown, With A Soft Exhalation She Shifted Her Head And Her Lips Found My Collarbone, Teasingly Shy Of My Old Scar. Tendrils Pulsed In Time With My Heart, Building On The Ones Before To An Unseen Height.

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...it's Easier To Find A Way To Make Money At Something You Love Than To Learn To Love A Job That You Can Make Money At.

This Is About Ku’sox, Isn’t It,” I Said, More Of A Statement Than A Question. He Made A Sighing Groan, And I Knew It Was. “then You’ve Met,” He Said, His Thoughts Clearly On The Day-walking Demon. “funny, You Don’t Look Dead.” His Hand Touched My Chin, Shifting It So He Could See Where I’d Been Pixed, The Blisters Itchy And Red. “i’m Surprised You Survived The Little Designer Dump. I Nearly Didn’t.

I Won’t Snatch, Harm, Or Scare To Death People With You Or Use Checking Up On You As An Excuse To Cause Trouble. You’re Worse Than My Mother, Rachel.” “mine, Too,” Jenks Muttered.

Can We Get Back To How We’re Going To Kill Nick? And What’s This About A Dead Body? You’d Better Start Talking Quick, Ivy, ’cause I’m Not Going To Play Hide-and-seek With A Dead Guy In My Trunk. I Did That In College, And I’m Not Going To Do It Again.” A Smile Quirked Ivy’s Mouth. “really?” She Asked, And I Flushed.

With A Gentle Pressure, Our Lips Met. His Hands Slipped More Firmly About Me, And I Held Myself Back, Not Afraid, But Wanting To Feel Everything Slowly As I Leaned In, Tasting The Wine On Him, Feeling The Warmth Of His Body Pressing Into Mine, Breathing In Our Scents That Were Mingling And Changing With The Warmth. My Hands Rose To Find His Hair, And I Relaxed Into Him As The Silky Strands Brushed Through My Fingers. I Wanted More, And I Leaned Into Him As Our Lips Moved Against Each Other.

But The Same Things That Had Once Attracted Menow Left Me With A Mild Sense Of Unease. Ivy Would Say I Was Getting Smarter, But I Just Felt…empty.

I Have To Save The World Tomorrow, And I Don't Even Know What I'm Going To Wear Yet.--rachel Morgan

What Are You Doing Now?" Al Questioned "seeing If Your Circumcision Is Gone? It Is. My Expression Went Blank, And Trent Hesitated. He Looked At Me, And I Put A Hand To My Mouth, Face Flaming. "oh. My. God. Trent. I'm Sorry" "um" Trent Said, Clearly At A Loss. "call Me Tomorrow," Al Said Seriously, "i've Got A Curse That Will Take Care Of That. Unless You Like The Snake In A Turtleneck Look

Endings Are Not Always Bad. Most Times They're Just Beginnings In Disguise.

Jenks Made A Move To Follow, Probably Forgetting He Didn’t Have Wings Anymore. He Leaned Forward And Fell To The Floor, Face First. “jenks!” I Shouted When He Hit With A Dull Smack And Started Swearing.

Ford Put A Hand To His Head. “back Up. Back Up!” He Cried. “you’re Too Close.” Heart Pounding, I Looked At The Eight Feet Between Us And Pressed Into The Fridge. “i Think He Meant For The Ghost To Back Up,” Jenks Said Dryly.

In A Few Hours, I’m Going To Be Banished To The Surface, My Belongings Raffled Off As Novelty Items And My Living Space Given To Someone Else—my Reputation Destroyed. I’d Rather Have Your Head Than Your Soul At This Point In My Illustrious Career.” - Al

What Was It With Me And Organized Beatings, Anyway?

A Clipboard And A Hard Hat Could Get You Just About Anywhere.

Edden Called The Church First,” She Said By Way Of Greeting, Her Thin Eyebrows High As She Spotted Ford’s Arm Linked In Mine. “hi, Ford.” The Man Reddened At The Lilt She’d Put In Her Last Words, But I Wouldn’t Let Him Take His Arm Back. I Liked Being Needed. “he’s Having Trouble With The Background Emotion,” I Said. “and He’d Rather Be Abused By Yours?” Nice. (ivy, Rachel And Ford)

What Are You?" I Rasped. It Smiled. "whatever Scares You.

I Frowned, Wondering If Trent Would Mind Being The Size Of A Fairy For A Day. He Could Talk To The Newest Tenants In His Garden.

I’d Given Up On The White Picket Fence After Kisten Had Died—finding Out My Kids Would Be Demons Was The Nail In The Coffin.

She’s Not Much Of A Team Player, More Of A Team Yeller.

You Think My Kids Just Popped Out Of The Ground?

I Told You, Computers Are Like Women. If You Shout At Them Or Ask Them To Do Too Many Things At Once, They Shut Down And You Won't Even Get A Sniff" Pg. 4

Lately I’d Begun Carrying Pain Amulets In My Bag, Like Some People Have Breath Mints.

Ku’sox Was Indeed A Demon. In. The. Sun. I Needed Answers, But I Wanted Them From Al, Not…cute Socks Here.

Jenks Enthusiastically Leaned Against The Counter And Opened The Box. Bypassing The Plastic Knife, He Broke Off About A Third Of It And Took A Huge Bite. Ivy Watched, Appalled, And I Shrugged. His Mouth Moving As He Hummed, Jenks Finished Unpacking The Sacks. I Was Half Dead, Ivy Was Whoring Herself To Keep Me Safe, But Jenks Was Okay As Long As He Had Chocolate.

You Are Your Father's Daughter,' He Said, The Skin Around His Eyes Tightening. 'trent Is His Father's Son. Apart, You Are Annoying. Together...you Have The Potential To Be A Problem.

Minias Smiled. Great. Another Charming Demon. I Sort Of Prefer The Insane Ones.

The Demon's Eyes Flicked To Mine, His Smile Widening. "this Is Nicholas Gregory Sparagmos's Room," He Said, And My Breath Caught. "delightful, Just Delightful! What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Ooooh, He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You For Taking Care Of That Little Problem! I Should Give You A Bunny. Where Is He? Stuffed In A Closet?" ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

If He Betrays You, I Will Finish What I Started With His Fingers," He Said, And I Shivered. "tell Him That.

That’s My Girl,” She Said, Her Eyes Holding A Shared Pain As She Saw My Confusion. “al, Where Are You Going To Put Her? Not In Your Room. She’d Pull A Line Through You And Kill You When You Hog The Blankets. I’ll Take The Waif In. I Promise I’ll Bring This One Up Properly.

I Ought To File Charges Of Uncommon Stupidity Against You For Letting Her Try This Alone." ~ Newt, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

It’s A Cat. Boy, You Couldn’t Slip Anything Past Me Tonight.

Confused, I Asked, "the Coven's What?" "plumber," Ivy Said, Looking Pale As She Leaned On Glenn. "you Know. Stops Leaks?" Oh Goodie. I'm A Leak.

Apparently Their Numerous Tattoos Gave Them Protection Against The Cold As They Had No Coats.

He Didn't Want Lucy To Grow Up Feeling Alone, Surrounded By Everything And Having Nothing.

Memories Of Ice And Trent Surfaced, And I Wrapped My Arms Around My Middle. I Had Saved Him, And He Had Saved Me. What Was Wrong With Us?

But A Slow, Deeply Satisfied Smile Came Over Him, And His Breath Quickened. 'so Softly It Starts,' He Whispered. 'foolishly Clever And With An Unsurvivable Trust. It Just Saved Your Miserable Life, That Questionable Show Of Thought, My Itchy-witch.' Al’s Smile Shifted, Becoming Lighter. 'and Now You Will Live To Possibly Regret It.

If It Was Up To Me, I’d Choose The Hard Path With The Easy Ending, Not The Easy Path With The Hard End.

Your Welcome Means More To Me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, Than A Thousand Souls. Watching Rachel Work Is A Wonder Of One Catastrophe After Another.

Her Tiny Hand Gripped Mine With A Surprising Warmth, And In A Shocking Wash Of Emotion, I Felt Everything I Knew Shift. The Scent Of Cinnamon And Baby Powder Hit Me, And As My Eyes Widened, My Heart Melted, Making Room For Her.

Trent Looked Me Up And Down. “is That All You’re Going To Do?” My Pulse Quickened, And I Gazed At The Front Of The Basilica Where The Scratching Was Coming From. “i Might Have A Snack Later If Nothing Comes Through Those Doors.

The Car Was Full Of Unhappy People Heading West. It Was The Great American Family Road Trip, All Right. Whaaa-hoo!

Come Work For Me, And I’ll Tell You.” My Eyes Went To His. “you Are A Thief, A Cheat, A Murderer, And A Not-nice Man,” I Said Calmly. “i Don’t Like You.” He Shrugged, The Motion Making Him Look Utterly Harmless. “i’m Not A Thief,” He Said. “and I Don’t Mind Manipulating You Into Working For Me When I Need It.” He Smiled, Showing Me Perfect Teeth. “i Enjoy It, Actually.

I Sighed. I Hated The Maze Of Bureaucracy With A Passion, But I've Found The Best Way To Deal With It Is To Smile And Act Stupid. That Way, No One Gets Confused.

You Should Be Dead," He Said, His Voice Full Of Wonder. "how Is It That You're Still Alive?" Jaw Clenched, I Worked At His Grip On Me, Trying To Get My Fingers Between Him And My Wrist. "i Work Hard At It.

That Was Humanity's Problem Right There. They Are Brain Damaged From The Early Sun

[jenks]"i Think You're All Screwy In The Head," He Said When Bis Nodded His Encouragement. "but Go Ahead. I've Got Quen's Number In My Phone. I'll Call Him If You Both Explode In A Flash Of Black Underwear And Money So I Won't Have To Fly All The Way Home.

A Slow Smile Curved Over My Face, And I Leaned Down Over Him. "no," I Said. "wishes Are Lies. Tell Me You're Going To Leave. Tell Me You're Not Going To Stay. Tell Me That It's Only For A While So I Can Enjoy Today," I Whispered In His Ear, As If Saying It Louder Would Break Me. "and When You Go, Don't Think Me Cold When I Don't Cry. I Can't Cry Anymore, Pierce. It Hurts Too Much.

Jenks, You Can Fly Me Up The Rest Of The Way To Trent, And Then Pow! I Give Trent His Statue." "pow, You'll Be Naked!" Jenks Exclaimed. (rachel And Jenks)

I'm Only Going To Be Here For A Time, Then Leave You." His Gaze Met Mine. "and I Will Cry When I Go, Because I Could Love You Forever.

He Grinned. “that’s Because Pixies Are Ever-after. We’re Magic, Baby. Just Ask Matalina.

Newt Spun, Making Her Robe Unfurl. “he’s My Familiar, Bought And Paid For. I Can Claim Anything Of His. Even His Life.” Al Cleared His Throat Nervously. “that’s Good To Know,” He Said Lightly. “important Safety Tip. Rachel, Write That Down Somewhere As Lesson Number One.

Do You Have A Sleeping Bag?” I Stared At Him. “no. I Lost It In The Great Salt-dip Of ’06.

A Demon Was Asking Me What I Wanted. My Eyes Flicked To Al, And He Shrugged. “what Do You Want?” He Said Softly.

One Person Can't Hold Anything, But Two Can Have The World.

She Was Only A Year Old, But Elves Grew Up Fast. Not Like Witches, Who Jenks Swore Were Not Able To Be On Their Own Until They Were Thirty. Ahem.

See, This Was Why I Liked Coffee. You Couldn’t Screw Up Making Coffee. Even The Bad Stuff Was Good.

Behind The Fury, He Was Tired. He Was Tired Of Being Hauled Around And Shoved Into A Little Room. He Was Tired Of Trying For Me And Failing. And To Have Minias Know It, To Be Carted Off Under His Leash…it Was Almost Insulting. Maybe, If I Gave Al A Night Of Peace To Lick His Wounds And His Pride, He Would Grant That Same Courtesy To Me?

We All Watched Al Open The Door. Turning, He Waved To Us, Then Passed The Threshold. The Door Shut Behind Him. I Waited For Something To Happen. Nothing Did. “this Isn’t Good,” Quen Said. I Choked Back My Burst Of Laughter, Knowing It Would Come Out Sounding Hysterical.

Where Did He Go!” He Bellowed, Gloved Hands Clenching. “i Had Him In A Snare That Would Take Alexander The Great A Lifetime To Untwist, And He Did It In A Week!” Al Took A Step, Pinwheeling As His Booted Heel Found An Ice Cube.

Gaily, If You Can't Demonstrate The Ability To Keep Her Alive, Then I Will Take Over Her Care And Get You A Dog Instead." - Newt

My Mother Isn't Crazy. She Simply Has A Harder Time Than Most Reconciling Her Reality With Everyone Else's Reality.

By Tink's Diaphram...!

Rachel, You Take Her,” My Mother Said, Clearly Uncomfortable. “she Might Like You.” “no. Mom, No!” I Protested, But It Was My Mother We Were Talking About, And It Was Either Take The Baby Or Have Her Hit The Floor.

Typical" Kisten Said, His Eyes Dramatically Sad. "try To Do Something Nice For A Person, Cheer Her Up, And What Do I Get? Abused And Robbed.

I Hate It When She Tabs A Line," Ivy Whispered To Kisten In The Corner. "you Ever See Anything Freakier Than That?" "you Should See The Face She Makes When She—" "shut Up, Kist!" I Exclaimed, My Eyes Flashing Open To Find Him Grinning At Me.

Of Course I’m Shielding Her, You Broken Feather!

Hate Is All That Keeps Us Alive When Love Is Gone. You’re Almost There. Not Quite Ready To Let It Go Yet.

Just Because I Don't Wear My Heart On My Sleeve - " "you Don't Even Wear Your Heart In Your Chest.

He's Going To Hurt You," Al Said, Looking At Pierce. "i Can Take Care Of You, Teach You To Survive. Be There For You, Even If You Do Hate Me." I Shivered. "i Don't Want Him," I Said, And Al Turned Away, Seeming Smaller Somehow.

You Have Such Interesting Thoughts. No Wonder Witches Are Ephemeral. You Drive Yourself Crazy. You Should Simply Do What You Want Without The Soul-searching. It Will Be Easier In The Long Run, Rachel Mariana Morgan.

Who’s Going To Keep Them From Wiping Us Out Species By Species? Not Me. We Aren’t Prepared For A New Demographic Of Magic-using Humans Who Are Sadistic, Power Hungry, Don’t Like Inderlanders, And See Genocide As An Acceptable Form Of Communication.

Tinks Titties Rache Jenks

What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Oooh! He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You Taking Care Of That Little Problem? I Should Give You A Bunny!" - Algaliarept

Nick As In My Former Boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, Ex-boyfriend, Ex-alive If I Ever Got Hold Of Him Nick.

My Eyes Widened At The Ball Of Orange Fluff Squeezing Out From Under The Counter, Blinking And Stretching. I Looked Again, Not Believing. “it’s A Cat,” I Said, Winning The Pulitzer Prize For Incredible Intellect.

I Can Think Of A Lot Of Things To Do," He Said, "and None Of Them Involve Standing Up. - Al

God, If You Ever Loved Me, Open My Eyes For Me When I'm Being This Stupid! (ron)

Maybe I Could Be Friends With A Ghost. I Wouldn’t Be Able To Kill Him.

Sure, It Was Nice Now, But Eventually There Would Be Running And Screaming And Blood On The Floor.

I'll Wait For You Under The Bluebells. I'll Be There Always.

I Didn’t Know What I Was Going To Say, A Feeling That Was Compounded When The Line Clicked Open And Trent’s Very Muzzy Voice Murmured, “rachel? Mmm, Hi.

Why?" I Said, Taking The Paper From Him As Al Smiled. "if It's Not What I Agreed To, I Will Burn Al's Gonads Off The First Chance I Get. Turn Around. I Need To Use Your Back For A Second." "ah, Hold On A Tick," Al Said, Snapping His Fingers Again And Catching The New Paper Drifting Down. "how Silly Of Me. This Is The One. Here.

Though No One Had Been Buried Here For Almost Thirty Years, The Grass Was Mown By Yours Truly. I Felt A Tidy Graveyard Made A Happy Graveyard.

She Smiled With The Warmth Of A Penguin.

My Blood Rose, Mixing With My Lingering Fear Of The Unknown To Drive Her To A Fever Pitch. Her Lips Touched My Lower Neck And Vertigo Spun The Room, Burning Tracings Of Desire To Settle Deep And Low In Me. I Exhaled Into The Promise Of More To Come, Calling It To Me. I Breathed It In Like Smoke, The Rising Passion Starting A Feeling Of Abandonment Inside. I Didn’t Care Anymore If It Was Right Or Wrong. It Just Was.

I’m Your Worst Nightmare Come To Walk This Side Of The Lines. I’m An Elf, Trent Something You’re Forgotten How To Be. You’re Scared Of Black Magic. I Can See Fear Shimmering Under Your Aura Like Sweat. I Live And Breathe Black Magic. I’m So Tainted With It That I Will Use It Without Thought, Without Guilt And Without Hesitation.

Worst Nightmares

Knowledge Is Power. Ignorance Is Bliss. But Curiosity—even If It Had Killed The Cat—is King.

You Look Like The Vamp Who Bled The Cat.

Avoiding Me, Quen Downed A Swallow Of Wine. "trent Is A Fine Young Man," He Said, Watching The Remaining Wine Swirl. "yes... " I Drawled, Cautiously. "if You Can Call A Drug Lord And Outlawed-medicine Manufacturer A Fine Young Man.

I’ve Got Your Back. Nothing Alive Will Ever Hurt You If I Have Breath In Me. And Nothing Dead Will Hurt You If I Don’t.” (kisten)

My Office Is Trashed,” He Grumped As He Squished Across His Damp Carpet And Took The Coffee That I Was Holding Out To Him. “why Are You Smiling? My Fish Are Dead.

...treat People With Understanding When You Can, And Fake It When You Can't Until You Do Understand.

And Then There Are The Rare Ones Who Know Love, Who Understand It. Who Freely Give Of Themselves, Demanding Only A Return Of That Love,that Trust.

I Was Cold, Hungry, And In A Hole In The Ground. But At Least I Had My Elven Porn, Damnit!

Most Of The Upper Management Of I.s. Were Undead. I Always Thought It Was Because The Job Was Easier If You Didn't Have A Soul.

Trent And Ellasbeth Did The Nasty? Ewwww!

He Just Wanted To Hold Her To Him And Tell Her It Would Be Okay, That She Had Survived And Was Beautiful.

There Were No More Choices, No More Options, No More Clever Ways Out Of A Tough Situation. And The Rush, I Realized In A Brutal Wash Of Despair, Is A False God I’ve Chased My Entire Life. One That Cost Me Everything In The Blind Search For Sensation. My Entire Existence Amounted To Nothing.

Trent, Do You Have Any Weapons? Like A Gun?” He Looked At Me In Disgust. “you’re Here To Protect Me,” He Said As He Closed The Distance Between Us And Stood Beside Me. “you Didn’t Bring A Weapon?” “yeah, I Brought A Weapon,” I Snapped As I Brought My Splat Gun Out And Aimed It At The Ceiling Where The Sounds Were Coming From. “i Just Thought That Since You’re A Freaking Murderer You Might Have A Gun, Too (...)

Married Pixy, I Told Myself, Forcing My Eyes Back To The Shelf Of Ceramic Animals. Fifty-four Kids. Beautiful Wife, Sweet As Sugar, Who Would Kill Me In My Sleep While Apologizing For It.

She Had Given Me A Piece Of What Made Her Life Sane.

A Devious Spark Lit Through Al, Making Me Smile. One Way. It Costs Too Much, He Said. “there’s No Inflation In The Ever-after, Al.” Call It A Recession Then. One Way.

Okay, I Like Him,” I Admitted. “but It Takes More Than A Nice Body, Jenks. Jeez, I Do Have A Little Depth. You’ve Got A Great Body, And You Don’t See Me Trying To Get Into Your Fruit Of The Looms.

Tell Me Where You Want It,” I Said. Minias Drew Back, His Purple Robes Shifting About His Ankles. “you’re Asking Me?” “well, Unless You Want A Big R On Your Forehead.

You Just Click Your Heels And Think There's No Place Like Being Pwned.

We Were Innocent Once. How Could It Have Gone So Bad?

Jenks Squinted At Me, And When Trent Nodded, The Pixy Gestured Sourly To Bis To Get On With It. A Four Inch Man Ruled Us All.

Maybe If I Didn't Say Anything About What Happened, We Could Get Back To The Way We Were. Ignoring A Problem Was A Perfectly Acceptable Way To Deal With It, As Long As Both People Agree Never To Bring It Up Again.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies. Jenks (black Magic Sanction)

Did Something Happen To The Sanctity Of Your Church Again?" My Eye Twitched. "newt Broke It So She Could Look In My Closet." Again.

I Never Considered I Might Make A Career Out Of Writing As I Was Going To School, So When I Did Turn My Attentions That Way, I Was Very Ill Prepared, Having Only What I Read As A Guide, And No Formal Training Whatsoever. I Credit That Very Ignorance With A Great Deal Of My Success.

Hey,” The Other Said, Coming To Life. “you’re Supposed To Be In Jail.” Al Grinned At Him, His White-gloved Grip Tightening On The Wooden Handle, Which Was Intricately Carved In The Shape Of A Naked, Writhing Woman. Nice. “and Your Momma Wanted You To Have A Brain,” He Said, Yanking The Door Open And Slamming It Into The Guy’s Face.

Money Drives The World, But When Everything Falls Apart To Leave The Underpinnings Of Our Life Bare To The Scrutiny Of Critics And Thieves, The Only Thing Remaining, The Only Thing That Can't Be Taken Away, Is The Love You Hold For The People You Care About.

She's Not Your Type. Since When Do I Have A Type?

Adjustment? She Called That An Adjustment? How About I Adjust Her Right Out Of Existence?

The Quickest Way To A Woman's Crotch Is Through Her Gullet. Can I Make You A Cake?" Big Al To Pierce, Then Rachel.

The Undead Did Not Love, But They Remembered Love With A Savage Loyalty.

That's Why I Want You There, He Said. You're Unpredictable, And That Can Be The Difference Between Success And Failure. Most People Make Decisions In Anger, Fear, Love, Or Obligation. You Make Decisions To Irritate People.

Sure, He Had A Wife And Fifty-four Kids, But He Looked Like A College Freshman. A Yummy College Freshman Majoring In Oh-my-god-i-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.

Rachel,” Came A Raspy Voice From The Upper Level, And Both Trent And I Turned. It Was Quen, Wrapped In A Blanket As If It Was A Death Shroud, The Black-haired Intern At His Side, Supporting Him. His Hair Was Plastered To His Skull With Sweat, And I Could See Him Wavering As He Stood There. “don’t Touch Trenton,” He Said, His Gravelly Voice Clear In The Hush, “or I’m Going To Have To Come Down There…and Smack You Around.

I Think She Suspects Something, Though. We’ve Had Cherry Pie For Dessert Five Nights In A Row.” His Voice Drawled, And My Smile Deepened.

I'd Never Seen A Man Who Could Outshop Me, But Jenks Was A Master.

I'd Say She's Get Us Both Fired, But The I.s. Doesn't Let Anyone Go. Alive.

I Felt Sick. Buying Kisten’s And My Safety From Piscary Was So Wrong. But It Was Either That Or Deal With A Demon, And I’d Rather Keep My Soul Clean And Let My Morals Get Dingy.

You Bet Your Grannie's Panties I Will.

Oh For The Sweet Humpin' Love Of Tink! ~ Jenks

Two Thousand Miles, Rachel,” He Said Tightly, And I Guessed That No, It Didn’t Violate The Rules Of Whatever He Was Doing Out Here, Because He Sure Wasn’t Out Here Keeping The Coven From Attacking Me. “i Have Eaten Nothing But Slop For Two Days And Used Facilities I Wouldn’t Let My Dogs Urinate In. And What About That Couple In The Rv Outside Texas? I’ll Never Get That Memory Out Of My Head.” - Trent To Rachel

I’m Not Going Anywhere With You, You Little Shoemaker,” I Said (rachel To Trent)

Ah, Jenks? It’s Not A Lake, It’s A Friggin’ Freshwater Ocean. Did You See The Size Of The Tanker Going Under The Bridge When We Came Into Town? The Wake From It Could Tip Us. I’m Not Canoeing It Unless Your Name Is Pocahontas.

I'd Watch Your Mouth", He Said, Tilting His Head As He Looked At My Id."the Last Lunker Who Laughed At Her Picture Spent The Night In The Emergency Room With A Drink Umbrella Jammed Up His Nose".

They Tried To Kill Me,” He Said, His Brow Furrowed As He Glared At Them. “you Saw Them!” “yeah?” I Spouted Off. “they Weren’t Very Good At It!” (trent And Rachel)

And While Seeing Trent In His Tighty-whities Would Make My Decade, I’d Found Out Long Ago That I Couldn’t Stay Mad At A Man Wearing Nothing But Underwear. They Looked So Charmingly Vulnerable.

Dead Witch Walking Is Basically A Modern-day Witch Living In Cincinnati.

Was Using “dead-man’s-toe” Morally Okay If The Man’s Relatives Had Knowingly Sold Him For Parts?

No Exclusive,” I Said Aloud, Watching Al For His Opinion And Seeing Him Shake His Head And Hold His Hands Out In A “bigger” Gesture. He Didn’t Even Know How Large The Offer Was, And He Thought I Could Get One Bigger.

Five Trolls In A Dra-a-a-a-ag,' The Four-inch Man Sang From My Shoulder. 'four Purple Condoms, Three French Ticklers, Two Horny Vamps And A Succubus In The Snow.

Tension Pulled My Eyes Open When Her Fingers Traced A Trail Down My Neck. Sensation Blossomed, And I Threw My Head Back And Sucked In The Air. Her Arm Slipped Around My Waist, Catching Me Before I Fell.

His Eyes Met Mine At The Soft Touch, And A Chime Seemed To Shake The Ley Line, Realigning The Universe. He Was Mine.

I Have A Name,” I Grumped, My Stomach Pinching Me Harder. “yes, But It Has No Pizzazz. Ra-a-a-a-chel. Rach-e-e-e-eel,” He Said, Trying It Out In Different Ways. “no One Will Tremble In Terror At That. Oh My God!” He Said In A High Falsetto. “it’s Rachel! Run! Hide!

Do You Hurt Uncle Kisten', He Asked.(...) But Kisten Beat Me To It. “only My Heart, Audric,” He Said. “ms. Rachel Is Like The Sun. See Her Sparkling There With The Wind In Her Hair And Fire In Her Eyes? You Can’t Catch The Sun. You Can Only Feel Its Touch On Your Face. And If You Get Too Much Of It, It Burns You.

Algaliarept Varied Its Shape, Sifting Through My Mind Without Me Even Knowing To Choose What Scared Me The Most. Once It Had Been Ivy. Then Kisten —until I Had Pinned Him In An Elevator In A Foolish Moment Of Vampire-induced Passion. It's Hard To Be Scared Of Someone After You've French-kissed Him.

Rachel, We've Been Over This. This Is What I Do," He Said, Crumbs Of Whiten Cheese Falling From The Knife. "find A Way For Your Lofty, Unrealistic Ideals To Deal With It.

It Was Starting To Smell Really Good In Here. And If I Liked What It Smelled Like, Then They Were Liking What They Were Smelling, And Ah…that Would Be Me.

But I Knew Nick. He Was Too Ugly To Die.

And If He Is Lying And He Double-crosses You, I’ll Kill Him For You.” From Anyone Else, It Would Have Been An Idle Threat, And I Smiled, Feeling Loved. (ivy And Rachel)

I Wish I Could Say I Write 9-5. It's Usually More Like 8-6, Every Day But The Weekends.

Hey, Ah, Does Anyone Want A Cookie Or Something? Oh Yeah. A Cookie. That Would Make Everything Better. Dunked In A Shot Of Tequila , Maybe? Or Better Yet, Just The Bottle? Yeah, That Ought To Do It.

Breaking Rules Isn't Bad When What You're Doing Is More Important Than The Rule Itself

Ivy Turned. 'he Bit You On The Neck?' She Said, Deadpan Serious But For Her Eyes. 'oh, Then It's Got To Be Love. She Won't Let Me Bite Her Neck.

I Staggered Backward-her One Hand Gripping My Shoulder, The Other Still Holding My Wrists Behind Her-and She Followed Until My Back Hit The Wall.

Maybe He Thinks He Can Rescue Me? No One Is That Stupid.

But He's Rachel Candy!" -both Jenks And Al

Rachel, What Do You Do? Put An Ad In The Paper For Trouble? (glenn)

Her Elf Is Going To Do Just That,” He Said, The Red Glow Of The Ever-after Sun Turning His Hair Auburn, Almost As Red As Mine. “i Did Not Work This Hard At Getting Her To Accept Who She Is To Let You Take Your Spoiled Brat Of A Little-boy Temper Tantrum Out On Her. She Stays On My Side Of The Lines.

...everyone Had To Eat, But Eating People Wasn't Polite.

Be Reasonable. I Know You Can Be. If You Try Very, Very Hard.” - Al To Rachel

Get Your Hand Off Me,” I Exclaimed, Voice Loud With Misplaced Anger As I Yanked Away From His Grip. “i’m A Professional, Not Some Distraught Girlfriend.” Well, I Was That Too, But I Knew How To Act At A Crime Scene.

Music Moves Society More Than Most People Realize. In My Opinion, It's A Soft Manipulator Of Influence And Change.

I’m Not Going To Pick Her Up And Carry Her Screaming To The Basement,” Trent Said. “it’s A Workday. Besides, She Has A Crutch.” “crutch Or No, She’s Hurt!” Ceri Protested. “i Mean,” Trent Said Intently, “she Can Hit Me With It If I Do Something She Doesn’t Like.

Shot Me Twice. I Want My Name, Or I'm Going To Start Charging You A Fee Every Time I Field Something For You. And It's Going To Be Expensive. I'm Park Place. Bud-dy." His Red, Goat-slitted Eyes Squinted At Me From Over His Smoked Glasses. "you're More Like Oriental Avenue Right Now, Dove. What Are You On?

Piscary Killed People, But He Didn’t Have The Concept Of Pity Or Remorse. It Would Be Like Telling A Shark He Was A Bad Fish And To Stop Eating People. But Trent? He Knew He Was Doing Wrong, And He Did It Anyway.

Rachel, My Itchy Witch," Al Said As He Tugged The Lace At His Cuffs. "we've Talked About This. You Simply Must Stop Collecting Nasty Little Men. How Many Do You Really Need, Love?

And I’m Not Spying! I’m Evaluating!” “it’s The Same Difference!

His Right Ear Still Held Both Studs, And I Wondered Who Had The Missing Earring. I Would Have Asked, But Was Afraid He’d Tell Me Ivy Had It.

Jenks Laughed, Taking To The Air And Saying, “give It Up, Fib Man. It’ll Take More Than You To Get Her Out. Remember What Ivy And I Did To Your Finest Last Spring? Add Rachel To That, And You Can Say Your Prayers.” From Behind Me Came Edden’s Dry “you Think Ivy Wants Another Stint As A Candy Striper?

So I’ve Seen My Boys Do That A Hundred Times With The Neighboring Pixy Girls. Give Her Their Favorite Seed And Be Too Flustered To Tell Her What It Was.

Hey!" I Exclaimed, Seeing The Total. "they're Charging Me Retail. Glenn!" I Complained. "they Can't Do That." I Shook It At Him. "i Shouldn't Have To Pay Retail!" "what Did You Expect? You Can Keep That. It's Your Copy." I Sat Back In A Huff And Shoved It In My Bag With My Sticky Scarf As He Typed His Slow, Painful Way Through My Report. "where's This Human Compassion I Keep Hearing About?" "that's It, Baby Doll," He Said, Voice Smoother Than Usual. He Was Laughing At Me.

Come On, Rachel!" Jenks Shrilled. "you're A Badass, Not A Bad Witch!

I Got It This Time, Daddy Warbucks," I Said.

She Was Getting Bitchy.that Was A Good Sign. "what Am I Supposed To Do Till You Get Back?" I Said, Patting The Smouldering Leather. "hide In My Closet? I"d Rather Be With You.

His Attitude, Though Always Bad, Has Changed Since He Helped Me Prep The Pandora Charm For Morgan. He Thinks I'm Falling For Her, As Ridiculous As That Sounds, And He Might Be Tempted To Take Matters Into His Hands.

You Think Ivy's A Planner? She Has Nothing On A Motivated Elf With Too Much Money.

Rachel Knew What She Was Doing. And When She Didn't, She Could Improvise On The Fly, Coming Up With Options That Left A Lot Of Collateral Damage But Usually Only Hurt Herself, Not The People Around Her. It Was One Of The Things He Would Never Admit That He Admired About Her.

You Tried To Slide His Original Curse Back Onto Him?” Al Said In Wonder. “at The Restaurant? And I Stopped You? Sweet Mother Pus Bucket!” He Exclaimed, And I Swear, Dust Sifted From The Ceiling. “rachel, We Have To Work On This Communication Thing.

Wayde Yelled, And I Hit Him Again, Adrenaline Pulling A Scream Of Outrage From Me. He Went Quiet, And I Held My Breath To Make Sure I Could Hear Him Breathing. I Suppose I Could Have Used My Magic On Him, But This Was A Lot More Satisfying.

Being Poor Is Not An Indication Of Potential Or Worth. It’s A Lack Of Resources.

Sure Am Glad I'm Not Royalty," I Muttered. "i Wouldn't Want To Have To Bump Uglies With Someone I Can't Stand. On A Regular Basis. And No One Else." "ow!" I Exclaimed, Trying To Yank My Fingers From Trent But Finding Them Caught. Then I Colored, Realizing What I'd Said. "oh… Sorry," I Stammered, Meaning It. "that Was Insensitive." Trent's Frown Turned Into A Sly Smirk. "bump Uglies?" He Said, Eyes On The Table Behind Me. "you Are A Font Of Gutter Slang, Rachel. We Must Do This Again.

Rose To Rachel: You Cry You Get Angry Then You Do Something About It.

I Gestured My Frustration. “i Don’t Know. She’s Much Better Already. She Wasn’t Talking Half An Hour Ago. Look At Her Now.” We All Turned, Finding Ceri Sobbing Quietly And Drinking Her Tea In Small Reverent Sips As The Pixy Girls Hovered Over Her. Three Were Plating Her Long, Fair Hair And Another Was Singing To Her. Okay,” I Said As We Turned Back. “bad Example.

Have You Been Sniffing Fairy Farts?

There Is Black. There Is White. Gray Is A Cowardly Excuse To Mix Our Wants With Our Needs.

I've Found That When I'm Having Trouble Solidifying A Character Or A Scene, That Music Will Often Free My Subconscious Just That Last Little Bit To Allow Me To Move Forward, And Often It's In A Direction That I Didn't Expect, But Is 100 Percent True To The Character.

The Small Gargoyle Had Gone Entirely White To Match The Ceiling, And Only The Rims Of His Ears, His Long Clawlike Nails, And A Thick Stripe Down His Whip-like Tail Were Still Gray. He Was Crawling Along The Ceiling Like A Bat, Wings Held To Make Sharp Angles And Claws Extended. It Just About Broke My Creepy Meter.

I Pushed Him Away, Catching Lee's Awe That I Was Not Only Standing With A Demon Outside A Circle, But That Al Was Treating Me Like An Equal. Or Maybe A Favorite Pet, I Amended As Al Caught Me When I Started To Tilt.

I'll Always Be Here," He Said Softly. "you Can Never Fill My Need, Never Drive Me Away, No Matter How Much You Give Me. The Good Or The Bad. I'll Always Be Hungry For Emotion, Always And Forever, And I Can Feel You Hurting. I Can Turn It To Joy. If You'll Let Me.

Life Was Going On, And No One But A Handful Of People Cared If I Lived Or Died.

God, It Stinks,” I Said, Hand Over My Nose As He Pulled Me Into A Long Step. Al Strode Forward, Head High. “it’s The Stench Of Bureaucracy, My Itchy-witch, And Why I Chose To Go Into Human Resources When But A Wee Lad.

I Said School Starts Tomorrow. I Didn’t Say I Was Going To Be There.

I Want…” He Said, Then Hesitated, Taking A Breath Of Air And Lifting His Chin. “i Want One Pure Thing In My Life,” He Said Loudly, His Voice Ringing In The Red-tinted Air. “i Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, ‘that Is Good, And It’s A Part Of Me.

Don't Fall Into The Trap Of Having To Have Everything Perfect To Write Or Wait Until The Mood Strikes You. If You Want It As A Job, Treat It Like A Job, And Just As You Don't Go To Work Only When You Feel Like It, You Have To Condition Yourself To Sit And Write Even When The Ideas Don't Flow.

I Grew Up Reading Sf In The 70s And 80s, And I Like Fast, Thought-provoking Plots That Take You Places In Fully Realized Worlds.

Thought Provoking

Jenks Kept Me Alive For Two Years Through Two Death Threats, A Crazy Banshee, And At Least Two Serial Killers. Its About Time I Return The Favor! And If I Can't, Then I Can Sit By His Bed And Hold His Hand As He Dies, 'cause I've Had Plenty Of Practice Doing That, Too!

Don’t Stereotype, Jenks. Hapa Is An Equal-opportunity Hate Group,” I Said.

I Suddenly Realized That A Bunch Of My Friends Needed Babysitters And Vowed To Start Screening My Calls.

Join Us Next Time For Days Of The Undead When Rachel Learns Her Long Lost Brother Is Really A Crown Prince From Outer Space.

I Smell Pancakes," Al Said As He Jauntily Smacked Pierce's Hat Back On The Witch's Head. "did The Runt Make You Breakfast?" Al Said, Leaning Over The Stove. "quickest Way To A Woman's Crotch Is Through Her Gullet, Eh?" He Said, Leering At Pierce, Who Was Now Rinsing Out The Percolator. "is It Working? I'd Be Curious To Know. I'd Buy Her A Cake Or Something.

Listen Before You Draw Your Battle Lines, Lest You Alienate Your Allies.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,” He Said, Very Still And Unmoving. “always Jumping To The Wrong Conclusion. You’re Like A Frog, You Know.

Just So You Know, I’ve Trusted You Since Camp.

Don’t You Listen To Them, Rexy,” I Cooed, And The Cat Sniffed My Nose. “rachel Is A Smart Girl. She’s Not Going To Go Out With A Ghost No Matter How Sexy He Is. She Knows Better. Jenkskie Wenskie Can Just Get Bent.” I Beamed At Jenks, And He Made An Ugly Face. “rache, Put My Cat Down Before You Mess With Her Kitty Brain.

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