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It Was A Nice Bit Of Blackmail That Kept Him Off My Back, But He Refused To Take The Message That I Wasn’t Going To Work For Him. ’course, That Might Be My Fault…since I Seemed Unable To Say No When He Waved Enough Money At Me.

-Kim Harrison

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It Was A Nice

Kim Harrison

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It Was A Nice Bit Of Blackmail That Kept Him Off My Back, But He Refused To Take The Message That I Wasn’t Going To Work For Him. ’course, That Might Be My Fault…since I Seemed Unable To Say No When He Waved Enough Money At Me.

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You Need Me, Just Whistle," He Said As He Arranged His Ball Cap Over His Eyes Against The Sun Leaking Through The Frost-emptied Branches. "you're Not Coming?" Lifting The Brim Of His Cap, He Eyed Me, "you Want Me To?" He Asked Blandly. "not Really, No." He Dropped The Brim And Laced His Hands Over His Middle. "then Why Are You Bitching? It's A Crime Scene, Not A Grocery Store.

Relief Spilled Into Me. He Wanted To Live. He Just Didn't Know How.

Rachel, We've Been Over This. This Is What I Do," He Said, Crumbs Of Whiten Cheese Falling From The Knife. "find A Way For Your Lofty, Unrealistic Ideals To Deal With It.

As The Joke Goes, You Don’t Have To Be Faster Than The Wolf Chasing You, Just Faster Than Everyone Else Running Away.

I'm Only Going To Be Here For A Time, Then Leave You." His Gaze Met Mine. "and I Will Cry When I Go, Because I Could Love You Forever.

I Sighed. I Hated The Maze Of Bureaucracy With A Passion, But I've Found The Best Way To Deal With It Is To Smile And Act Stupid. That Way, No One Gets Confused.

Behind The Fury, He Was Tired. He Was Tired Of Being Hauled Around And Shoved Into A Little Room. He Was Tired Of Trying For Me And Failing. And To Have Minias Know It, To Be Carted Off Under His Leash…it Was Almost Insulting. Maybe, If I Gave Al A Night Of Peace To Lick His Wounds And His Pride, He Would Grant That Same Courtesy To Me?

We All Watched Al Open The Door. Turning, He Waved To Us, Then Passed The Threshold. The Door Shut Behind Him. I Waited For Something To Happen. Nothing Did. “this Isn’t Good,” Quen Said. I Choked Back My Burst Of Laughter, Knowing It Would Come Out Sounding Hysterical.

Go To Sleep, Baby,mama Will Sing. Of Blue Butterflies, And Dragonfly Wings. Moonlight And Sunbeams, Raiments So Fine. Silver And Gold, For Baby Of Mine. Go To Sleep, Baby. Sister Will Tell, Of Wolves And Of Lambs, And Demons Who Fell.-pierce's Lullaby Kim Harrison (black Magic Sanction)

I Am Black,” She Said, And A Shudder Rippled Through Me. “i Am Foul With A Thousand Years Of Demon Curses. Don’t Cross Me Or I Will Bring You And Your House Down. Rachel Is The Only Clean Thing I Have, And You Won’t Sully Her To Further Your High Ideas.

His Right Ear Still Held Both Studs, And I Wondered Who Had The Missing Earring. I Would Have Asked, But Was Afraid He’d Tell Me Ivy Had It.

The Small Gargoyle Had Gone Entirely White To Match The Ceiling, And Only The Rims Of His Ears, His Long Clawlike Nails, And A Thick Stripe Down His Whip-like Tail Were Still Gray. He Was Crawling Along The Ceiling Like A Bat, Wings Held To Make Sharp Angles And Claws Extended. It Just About Broke My Creepy Meter.

Don't Fall Into The Trap Of Having To Have Everything Perfect To Write Or Wait Until The Mood Strikes You. If You Want It As A Job, Treat It Like A Job, And Just As You Don't Go To Work Only When You Feel Like It, You Have To Condition Yourself To Sit And Write Even When The Ideas Don't Flow.

I Got It This Time, Daddy Warbucks," I Said.

And While Seeing Trent In His Tighty-whities Would Make My Decade, I’d Found Out Long Ago That I Couldn’t Stay Mad At A Man Wearing Nothing But Underwear. They Looked So Charmingly Vulnerable.

The Seraph Looked Up, And Pain Sliced Through My Head As Our Eyes Met, Almost Blinding Me. "i Honor You. You Can Do Something I Cannot," It Said Softly. "for All I Am And All I Have Been, You Are Human. You Are Loved For Your Inventiveness, Both Good And Bad. I Can Kill, But You Can Create. You Can Even Create...an End," It Said Wistfully. "that's Something I Will Never Be Able To Do. Accept This. Create.

That's Why I Want You There, He Said. You're Unpredictable, And That Can Be The Difference Between Success And Failure. Most People Make Decisions In Anger, Fear, Love, Or Obligation. You Make Decisions To Irritate People.

Who’s Going To Keep Them From Wiping Us Out Species By Species? Not Me. We Aren’t Prepared For A New Demographic Of Magic-using Humans Who Are Sadistic, Power Hungry, Don’t Like Inderlanders, And See Genocide As An Acceptable Form Of Communication.

Shot Me Twice. I Want My Name, Or I'm Going To Start Charging You A Fee Every Time I Field Something For You. And It's Going To Be Expensive. I'm Park Place. Bud-dy." His Red, Goat-slitted Eyes Squinted At Me From Over His Smoked Glasses. "you're More Like Oriental Avenue Right Now, Dove. What Are You On?

Jenks Squinted At Me, And When Trent Nodded, The Pixy Gestured Sourly To Bis To Get On With It. A Four Inch Man Ruled Us All.

Nick As In My Former Boyfriend Nick. Ex-rat, Ex-boyfriend, Ex-alive If I Ever Got Hold Of Him Nick.

I Sat For A Moment, Figuring Things Out, Then Decided To Stay There. If I Was On The Floor, I Couldn't Fall Down.

Figuring Things

What Are You?" I Rasped. It Smiled. "whatever Scares You.

...it's Easier To Find A Way To Make Money At Something You Love Than To Learn To Love A Job That You Can Make Money At.

Rachel, You Summon Demons. You’re Good At It. Get Over It, Then Find A Way To Make It Work For You. It’s Not Going To Go Away.

Life Was Going On, And No One But A Handful Of People Cared If I Lived Or Died.

You Are Your Father's Daughter,' He Said, The Skin Around His Eyes Tightening. 'trent Is His Father's Son. Apart, You Are Annoying. Together...you Have The Potential To Be A Problem.

I'll Always Be Here," He Said Softly. "you Can Never Fill My Need, Never Drive Me Away, No Matter How Much You Give Me. The Good Or The Bad. I'll Always Be Hungry For Emotion, Always And Forever, And I Can Feel You Hurting. I Can Turn It To Joy. If You'll Let Me.

I Was Cold, Hungry, And In A Hole In The Ground. But At Least I Had My Elven Porn, Damnit!

Come On, Rachel!" Jenks Shrilled. "you're A Badass, Not A Bad Witch!

You!” She Said, Stepping Forward With A Vehement Expression And Her Finger Pointed. Heart Pounding, I Pressed Into Al. Funny How He Seemed So Much Safer Now. (newt, Rachel And Al)

I Never Considered I Might Make A Career Out Of Writing As I Was Going To School, So When I Did Turn My Attentions That Way, I Was Very Ill Prepared, Having Only What I Read As A Guide, And No Formal Training Whatsoever. I Credit That Very Ignorance With A Great Deal Of My Success.

Plan B?' Ivy Said. 'what Is Plan B?' Jenks Reddened. 'grab The Fish And Run Like Hell,' He Muttered, And I Almost Giggled.

Tension Pulled My Eyes Open When Her Fingers Traced A Trail Down My Neck. Sensation Blossomed, And I Threw My Head Back And Sucked In The Air. Her Arm Slipped Around My Waist, Catching Me Before I Fell.

A Demon Was Asking Me What I Wanted. My Eyes Flicked To Al, And He Shrugged. “what Do You Want?” He Said Softly.

You Should Be Dead," He Said, His Voice Full Of Wonder. "how Is It That You're Still Alive?" Jaw Clenched, I Worked At His Grip On Me, Trying To Get My Fingers Between Him And My Wrist. "i Work Hard At It.

What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Oooh! He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You Taking Care Of That Little Problem? I Should Give You A Bunny!" - Algaliarept

I Staggered Backward-her One Hand Gripping My Shoulder, The Other Still Holding My Wrists Behind Her-and She Followed Until My Back Hit The Wall.

What Was It With Me And Organized Beatings, Anyway?

I Want…” He Said, Then Hesitated, Taking A Breath Of Air And Lifting His Chin. “i Want One Pure Thing In My Life,” He Said Loudly, His Voice Ringing In The Red-tinted Air. “i Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, ‘that Is Good, And It’s A Part Of Me.

Hate Is All That Keeps Us Alive When Love Is Gone. You’re Almost There. Not Quite Ready To Let It Go Yet.

How Many Mistakes Can One Life Survive?

Al Was Looking At Me In Disbelief. “not Your Lover?” “no.” “but He Is Rachel Candy,” Al Said, His Confusion Too Honest To Be Faked.

Don’t Stereotype, Jenks. Hapa Is An Equal-opportunity Hate Group,” I Said.

The Car Picked Up Speed, And The Sound Seemed To Lull Me.i Could Relax, I Thought As I Felt The Tingling Of Circulation In My Limbs. I Was In Trent’s Car, Wrapped In A Blanket, And Held In His Arms. He Wouldn’t Let Anything Hurt Me. He Wasn’t Singing, Though,i Mused.shouldn’t He Be Singing?

Tinks Titties Rache Jenks

Adjustment? She Called That An Adjustment? How About I Adjust Her Right Out Of Existence?

No," She Said Firmly. "i Want You To Stay When I Go. Break Tradition Again, My Love, And Burn Me Alone In The Home We Built. I Don't Want You With Me. You Aren't Done. You See Too Far Ahead. You Need To Make The World In Your Thoughts A Real One That Our Children Can Fly In." - Matalina To Jenks

Being Poor Is Not An Indication Of Potential Or Worth. It’s A Lack Of Resources.

I Told You, Computers Are Like Women. If You Shout At Them Or Ask Them To Do Too Many Things At Once, They Shut Down And You Won't Even Get A Sniff" Pg. 4

The Quickest Way To A Woman's Crotch Is Through Her Gullet. Can I Make You A Cake?" Big Al To Pierce, Then Rachel.

They Tried To Kill Me,” He Said, His Brow Furrowed As He Glared At Them. “you Saw Them!” “yeah?” I Spouted Off. “they Weren’t Very Good At It!” (trent And Rachel)

Looking At Everything, I Started To Feel Nauseous, As If The Seventies Had Taken Refuge Here Against Extinction And Were Preparing To Take Over The World.

Okay, I Like Him,” I Admitted. “but It Takes More Than A Nice Body, Jenks. Jeez, I Do Have A Little Depth. You’ve Got A Great Body, And You Don’t See Me Trying To Get Into Your Fruit Of The Looms.

But He's Rachel Candy!" -both Jenks And Al

Growing Up Is Hard, Love. Otherwise Everyone Would Do It.

If He Betrays You, I Will Finish What I Started With His Fingers," He Said, And I Shivered. "tell Him That.

I Want One Thing I Can Point To And Say, 'that Is Good, And It's A Part Of Me.'

He Froze As The Scent Of Her Hair Met Him. It Was Touching His Cheek,tickling Him. I Cant Afford This, He Thought, But He Didnt Move, Watching Her Finger Trace The New Line. "he Cracked My Mirror,"she Said, Clearly Angry.

We Were Innocent Once. How Could It Have Gone So Bad?

I'll Wait For You Under The Bluebells. I'll Be There Always.

Rose To Rachel: You Cry You Get Angry Then You Do Something About It.

Your Hair Is A Tangled Mess,"he Said, Thinking He Liked It That Way, Like A Lion's Mane.

It Is Not Always What We Do, Sa'han, But Who We Love That Makes Us Who We Are. Quen

You Think Ivy's A Planner? She Has Nothing On A Motivated Elf With Too Much Money.

Her Elf Is Going To Do Just That,” He Said, The Red Glow Of The Ever-after Sun Turning His Hair Auburn, Almost As Red As Mine. “i Did Not Work This Hard At Getting Her To Accept Who She Is To Let You Take Your Spoiled Brat Of A Little-boy Temper Tantrum Out On Her. She Stays On My Side Of The Lines.

Sweet Mother Of Chaos," He Breathed. "rachel, You Are Indeed One Of Us. Have Your Time In The Sun. You're Worth The Extra Wait.

I Gestured My Frustration. “i Don’t Know. She’s Much Better Already. She Wasn’t Talking Half An Hour Ago. Look At Her Now.” We All Turned, Finding Ceri Sobbing Quietly And Drinking Her Tea In Small Reverent Sips As The Pixy Girls Hovered Over Her. Three Were Plating Her Long, Fair Hair And Another Was Singing To Her. Okay,” I Said As We Turned Back. “bad Example.

I Have To Save The World Tomorrow, And I Don't Even Know What I'm Going To Wear Yet.--rachel Morgan

Lately I’d Begun Carrying Pain Amulets In My Bag, Like Some People Have Breath Mints.

I Thought Trent Should Get Over His Pixy Paranoia And Admit He Had An Eerie Attraction To Them, Like Every Other Pure-blood Elf I’d Met. So He Liked Pixies. I Liked Double-crunch Ice Cream, But You Didn’t See Me Avoiding It In The Grocery Store.

No Exclusive,” I Said Aloud, Watching Al For His Opinion And Seeing Him Shake His Head And Hold His Hands Out In A “bigger” Gesture. He Didn’t Even Know How Large The Offer Was, And He Thought I Could Get One Bigger.

No, You Just Keep Crashing My Life. Look—" I Said, And Al Grunted. "here It Comes," The Demon Muttered. "listen. Listen To This, Runt. She's Going To Have A List.

Sure, He Had A Wife And Fifty-four Kids, But He Looked Like A College Freshman. A Yummy College Freshman Majoring In Oh-my-god-i-gotta-get-me-some-of-that.

It Was A Nice Bit Of Blackmail That Kept Him Off My Back, But He Refused To Take The Message That I Wasn’t Going To Work For Him. ’course, That Might Be My Fault…since I Seemed Unable To Say No When He Waved Enough Money At Me.

Good Lord, I Thought, Squinting At The Bright Glare Of A Late-july Morning. No Wonder I Slept Through This. It Was Noisy With Shrieking Birds, And Already Hot.

I Opine-i Think You're A Woman Of Your World,' He Said From The Far End Of The Couch. 'i Would Have A Hard Time Seeing You Pressed And Powdered, Dreading A Life Of Servitude Under The Name Of Marriage. You'd Die In That Mold. I Like You As You Are, Fiery And Ill Tempered.

I Thought It Odd That The Woman Was Over A Thousand Years Old But Thought The Microwave Was Primitive.

Maybe He Thinks He Can Rescue Me? No One Is That Stupid.

I’m Not Going To Pick Her Up And Carry Her Screaming To The Basement,” Trent Said. “it’s A Workday. Besides, She Has A Crutch.” “crutch Or No, She’s Hurt!” Ceri Protested. “i Mean,” Trent Said Intently, “she Can Hit Me With It If I Do Something She Doesn’t Like.

Listen Before You Draw Your Battle Lines, Lest You Alienate Your Allies.

Puppy Presents On The Rug. This Sucked.

I Tried To Breathe, Failing. I Clutched Her To Me, Tears Slipping From Under My Closed Eyes. It Was As If Her Soul Was Liquid Fire And I Could Feel Her Aura, Swirling About Mine. She Was Taking My Aura. But I Wanted To Give It To Her, To Cat Her In A Small Part Of Me And Protect Her. Her Needs Made Her So Fragile.

Hey,” The Other Said, Coming To Life. “you’re Supposed To Be In Jail.” Al Grinned At Him, His White-gloved Grip Tightening On The Wooden Handle, Which Was Intricately Carved In The Shape Of A Naked, Writhing Woman. Nice. “and Your Momma Wanted You To Have A Brain,” He Said, Yanking The Door Open And Slamming It Into The Guy’s Face.

Actually,” I Said, Hesitant To Bring It Up, “i Was Thinking Along The Lines Of A Curse That Can Turn You Human.” “or Witch?” Ivy Said, Surprising Me. There Was A Soft Vulnerability In Her And I Blinked. “you Don’t Want To Be A Witch,” I Said Quickly. “why Not? You Are.

Shut Up," I Hissed. Ticked That He Was Taller Than Me, I Stepped Up Onto A Nearby Coffee Table. "i'm Not In A Cage Anymore," I Said, Keeping Enough Presence Of Mind Not To Poke Him In The Chest With A Finger. His Face Went Startled, Then Cloric. "the Only Thing Between Your Head And My Foot Becoming Real Close And Personal Right Now Is My Questionable Professionalism. And If You Ever Threaten Me Again, I'll Slam You Halfway Across The Room Before You Can Say Number-two Pencil. Got It, You Tall Freak Of Nature?

Presence Of Mind

My Eyes Widened At The Ball Of Orange Fluff Squeezing Out From Under The Counter, Blinking And Stretching. I Looked Again, Not Believing. “it’s A Cat,” I Said, Winning The Pulitzer Prize For Incredible Intellect.

This Is About Ku’sox, Isn’t It,” I Said, More Of A Statement Than A Question. He Made A Sighing Groan, And I Knew It Was. “then You’ve Met,” He Said, His Thoughts Clearly On The Day-walking Demon. “funny, You Don’t Look Dead.” His Hand Touched My Chin, Shifting It So He Could See Where I’d Been Pixed, The Blisters Itchy And Red. “i’m Surprised You Survived The Little Designer Dump. I Nearly Didn’t.

Ford Put A Hand To His Head. “back Up. Back Up!” He Cried. “you’re Too Close.” Heart Pounding, I Looked At The Eight Feet Between Us And Pressed Into The Fridge. “i Think He Meant For The Ghost To Back Up,” Jenks Said Dryly.

Pierce Jerked His Hand From Trent And Pushed Himself Straight. “kalamack Industries,” He Said, Expression Twisted As He Wiped His Hand On His Pants. “i Knew Your Father.” “i Do Not Freaking Believe This,” I Said, Shifting To Stand Where I Could See Both Of Them. Al Beamed. “amazing Who You Can Meet In An Elevator.

She Thought I Could Find A Way To Save Her Soul When She Died And Became An Undead. Right Now, I Was Just Looking To Find The Rent Money. I’d Get To My Roommate’s Soul Later.

Join Us Next Time For Days Of The Undead When Rachel Learns Her Long Lost Brother Is Really A Crown Prince From Outer Space.

I’d Given Up On The White Picket Fence After Kisten Had Died—finding Out My Kids Would Be Demons Was The Nail In The Coffin.

Just Because I Don't Wear My Heart On My Sleeve - " "you Don't Even Wear Your Heart In Your Chest.

You Have Such Interesting Thoughts. No Wonder Witches Are Ephemeral. You Drive Yourself Crazy. You Should Simply Do What You Want Without The Soul-searching. It Will Be Easier In The Long Run, Rachel Mariana Morgan.

You Had This All Planned, Didn’t You?' I Accused. 'thought You Could Come In Here And Seduce Me Like You Do Everyone Else?' It Wasn’t As If I Could Be Angry, Lying Atop Him As I Was, But I Tried.

You Cannot Thrash The Person Who Makes You Coffee. It's A Rule Somewhere.

You Bet Your Grannie's Panties I Will.

And If He Is Lying And He Double-crosses You, I’ll Kill Him For You.” From Anyone Else, It Would Have Been An Idle Threat, And I Smiled, Feeling Loved. (ivy And Rachel)

I Ought To File Charges Of Uncommon Stupidity Against You For Letting Her Try This Alone." ~ Newt, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

Ivy Turned. 'he Bit You On The Neck?' She Said, Deadpan Serious But For Her Eyes. 'oh, Then It's Got To Be Love. She Won't Let Me Bite Her Neck.

Typical" Kisten Said, His Eyes Dramatically Sad. "try To Do Something Nice For A Person, Cheer Her Up, And What Do I Get? Abused And Robbed.

I'd Say She's Get Us Both Fired, But The I.s. Doesn't Let Anyone Go. Alive.

They Weren’t Idiots, But I Attracted Trouble That Just Begged Me To Beat It Into Submission.

You Just Click Your Heels And Think There's No Place Like Being Pwned.

People Die, Rachel," Ceri Said, Her Cheeks Flushing. "not If I Can Help It," I Snapped. "and Not Of A Broken Heart. If You Could, I'd Be Dead Already.

Elves Apparently Had A Short Childhood. Not Like Witches, Who Seemed To Take Forever To Grow Up, According To Jenks.

Hovering Near Panic, Trying To Focus But Finding It Hard To Open My Eyes. My Heart Was Pounding. I Couldn’t Get Enough Air, And I Couldn’t Find The Desire To Push Her Away

Minias Smiled. Great. Another Charming Demon. I Sort Of Prefer The Insane Ones.

Hey!" I Exclaimed, Seeing The Total. "they're Charging Me Retail. Glenn!" I Complained. "they Can't Do That." I Shook It At Him. "i Shouldn't Have To Pay Retail!" "what Did You Expect? You Can Keep That. It's Your Copy." I Sat Back In A Huff And Shoved It In My Bag With My Sticky Scarf As He Typed His Slow, Painful Way Through My Report. "where's This Human Compassion I Keep Hearing About?" "that's It, Baby Doll," He Said, Voice Smoother Than Usual. He Was Laughing At Me.

What Are You Doing Now?” Al Questioned, Listing Heavily As He Tucked Another One Of Those Bottles Under His Arm And Staggered For The Cot Half Hidden Behind A Curtain. “seeing If Your Circumcision Is Gone? It Is.

Did Something Happen To The Sanctity Of Your Church Again?" My Eye Twitched. "newt Broke It So She Could Look In My Closet." Again.

...treat People With Understanding When You Can, And Fake It When You Can't Until You Do Understand.

Coffee. I Could Smell Coffee. Coffee Would Make Everything Better.

Have You Been Sniffing Fairy Farts?

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,” He Said, Very Still And Unmoving. “always Jumping To The Wrong Conclusion. You’re Like A Frog, You Know.

Five Trolls In A Dra-a-a-a-ag,' The Four-inch Man Sang From My Shoulder. 'four Purple Condoms, Three French Ticklers, Two Horny Vamps And A Succubus In The Snow.

Why?" I Said, Taking The Paper From Him As Al Smiled. "if It's Not What I Agreed To, I Will Burn Al's Gonads Off The First Chance I Get. Turn Around. I Need To Use Your Back For A Second." "ah, Hold On A Tick," Al Said, Snapping His Fingers Again And Catching The New Paper Drifting Down. "how Silly Of Me. This Is The One. Here.

Somehow I Found Him. Somehow I Found Al's Sarcastic Thoughts, Bitter And Old. Tired, Angry, Bored. Alone.

The Demon's Eyes Flicked To Mine, His Smile Widening. "this Is Nicholas Gregory Sparagmos's Room," He Said, And My Breath Caught. "delightful, Just Delightful! What Are You Doing In Nicky's Room, Rachel? Ooooh, He Summoned You To The West Coast, Didn't He? Did You Kill Him? Good For You For Taking Care Of That Little Problem! I Should Give You A Bunny. Where Is He? Stuffed In A Closet?" ~ Algaliarept, Black Magic Sanction, Kim Harrison

He's Going To Hurt You," Al Said, Looking At Pierce. "i Can Take Care Of You, Teach You To Survive. Be There For You, Even If You Do Hate Me." I Shivered. "i Don't Want Him," I Said, And Al Turned Away, Seeming Smaller Somehow.

Making A Spell Is Easy. It's Trusting You Did It Right That's Hard.

Ku’sox Was Indeed A Demon. In. The. Sun. I Needed Answers, But I Wanted Them From Al, Not…cute Socks Here.

Apparently Their Numerous Tattoos Gave Them Protection Against The Cold As They Had No Coats.

It Was Starting To Smell Really Good In Here. And If I Liked What It Smelled Like, Then They Were Liking What They Were Smelling, And Ah…that Would Be Me.

Sure Am Glad I'm Not Royalty," I Muttered. "i Wouldn't Want To Have To Bump Uglies With Someone I Can't Stand. On A Regular Basis. And No One Else." "ow!" I Exclaimed, Trying To Yank My Fingers From Trent But Finding Them Caught. Then I Colored, Realizing What I'd Said. "oh… Sorry," I Stammered, Meaning It. "that Was Insensitive." Trent's Frown Turned Into A Sly Smirk. "bump Uglies?" He Said, Eyes On The Table Behind Me. "you Are A Font Of Gutter Slang, Rachel. We Must Do This Again.

But A Slow, Deeply Satisfied Smile Came Over Him, And His Breath Quickened. 'so Softly It Starts,' He Whispered. 'foolishly Clever And With An Unsurvivable Trust. It Just Saved Your Miserable Life, That Questionable Show Of Thought, My Itchy-witch.' Al’s Smile Shifted, Becoming Lighter. 'and Now You Will Live To Possibly Regret It.

I'd Never Seen A Man Who Could Outshop Me, But Jenks Was A Master.

Nothing Is So Hard That It Can't Be Found By Searching.

Rachel, You Take Her,” My Mother Said, Clearly Uncomfortable. “she Might Like You.” “no. Mom, No!” I Protested, But It Was My Mother We Were Talking About, And It Was Either Take The Baby Or Have Her Hit The Floor.

Tears Could Not Be Equal, If I Wept Diamonds From The Skies," Jenks Whispered, Empty And Bereft. "my Word Silent, Though I Should Howl. Muffled By Death, My Wings Can't Lift Me High Enough To Find You. I Feel You Within. Unaware Of My Pain. Not Knowing Why I Mourn. And Why I Breathe Alone.

Her Tiny Hand Gripped Mine With A Surprising Warmth, And In A Shocking Wash Of Emotion, I Felt Everything I Knew Shift. The Scent Of Cinnamon And Baby Powder Hit Me, And As My Eyes Widened, My Heart Melted, Making Room For Her.

Rachel, What Do You Do? Put An Ad In The Paper For Trouble? (glenn)

The Undead Did Not Love, But They Remembered Love With A Savage Loyalty.

Rachel Knew What She Was Doing. And When She Didn't, She Could Improvise On The Fly, Coming Up With Options That Left A Lot Of Collateral Damage But Usually Only Hurt Herself, Not The People Around Her. It Was One Of The Things He Would Never Admit That He Admired About Her.

Oh For The Sweet Humpin' Love Of Tink! ~ Jenks

Money Drives The World, But When Everything Falls Apart To Leave The Underpinnings Of Our Life Bare To The Scrutiny Of Critics And Thieves, The Only Thing Remaining, The Only Thing That Can't Be Taken Away, Is The Love You Hold For The People You Care About.

A Devious Spark Lit Through Al, Making Me Smile. One Way. It Costs Too Much, He Said. “there’s No Inflation In The Ever-after, Al.” Call It A Recession Then. One Way.

Piscary Killed People, But He Didn’t Have The Concept Of Pity Or Remorse. It Would Be Like Telling A Shark He Was A Bad Fish And To Stop Eating People. But Trent? He Knew He Was Doing Wrong, And He Did It Anyway.

You Look Like The Vamp Who Bled The Cat.

Though No One Had Been Buried Here For Almost Thirty Years, The Grass Was Mown By Yours Truly. I Felt A Tidy Graveyard Made A Happy Graveyard.

He Grinned. “that’s Because Pixies Are Ever-after. We’re Magic, Baby. Just Ask Matalina.

Breaking Rules Isn't Bad When What You're Doing Is More Important Than The Rule Itself

Do You Have A Sleeping Bag?” I Stared At Him. “no. I Lost It In The Great Salt-dip Of ’06.

Numb, I Took The Perfectly Browned Puff. Okay. Let Me See If I Have This Right. Al Provokes Me Into Defending Myself. I Nearly Kill Him. Then Newt Tries To Kill Me, Thinking I'm Ku'sox. Al Stops Her, Saving My Life. And Now We're All Going To Have S'mores Together?

Okay, You Drive," She Said. "i'll Sit With M Head Hanging Out Of The Window Like A Golden Retriever.

Golden Retrievers

Ah, Jenks? It’s Not A Lake, It’s A Friggin’ Freshwater Ocean. Did You See The Size Of The Tanker Going Under The Bridge When We Came Into Town? The Wake From It Could Tip Us. I’m Not Canoeing It Unless Your Name Is Pocahontas.

God, It Stinks,” I Said, Hand Over My Nose As He Pulled Me Into A Long Step. Al Strode Forward, Head High. “it’s The Stench Of Bureaucracy, My Itchy-witch, And Why I Chose To Go Into Human Resources When But A Wee Lad.

You Need A New Hobby, Rachel. Something Other Than Nasty Little Men With Visions Of World Domination.

If It Was Up To Me, I’d Choose The Hard Path With The Easy Ending, Not The Easy Path With The Hard End.

For All His Sourness, He Was Ruled By His Heart.

Men,” She Said As She Took My Arm And Led Me To The Brightly Lit Room. “they Forget We Need To See The Outcome Of Pain Before We Willingly Put Ourselves Through It. How Else Would We Suffer Nine Months To Have A Beautiful Child? We Already Know We Have Guts.

I’m Not Going Anywhere With You, You Little Shoemaker,” I Said (rachel To Trent)

Was Using “dead-man’s-toe” Morally Okay If The Man’s Relatives Had Knowingly Sold Him For Parts?

You Think My Kids Just Popped Out Of The Ground?

I Can Think Of A Lot Of Things To Do," He Said, "and None Of Them Involve Standing Up. - Al

I've Found That When I'm Having Trouble Solidifying A Character Or A Scene, That Music Will Often Free My Subconscious Just That Last Little Bit To Allow Me To Move Forward, And Often It's In A Direction That I Didn't Expect, But Is 100 Percent True To The Character.

The Mad Have A Grace All Their Own

"i'm Going Back!" I Shouted, Standing To Put Some Distance Between Us In Case I Was Yanking Her Chain Too Hard And She Came After Me. "i'll Show Him," I Said, Waving An Arm. "i'll Sneak In. I'll Steal His Freaking Glasses And Mail Them Back To Him In A Freaking Birthday Card!"

Music Moves Society More Than Most People Realize. In My Opinion, It's A Soft Manipulator Of Influence And Change.

A Witch, A Vampire, And A Pixy Walk Into A Bar, I Thought As I Led The Way Into The Squirrel’s End. It Was Early, And The Sun Had Yet To Set When The Door Swung Shut Behind Jenks, Sealing Us In The Warm Air Smelling Faintly Of Smoke. Immediately Nick Yanked It Open To Come In Behind Us. And There’s The Punch Line.

I Wish I Could Say I Write 9-5. It's Usually More Like 8-6, Every Day But The Weekends.

Actually, I Am Kind Of Busy Right Now,” I Drawled As I Settled Back Into The Chair And Closed My Eyes. “you Have To Make Melanin While The Sun Shines.

Kisten, Please Don't Leave Me," I Begged, And His Eyes Opened. "i'm Cold," He Said, Fear Rising In His Blue Eyes. I Held Him Tighter. "i'm Holding You. It's Going To Be Okay." "tell Ivy," He Said With A Gasp, Clenching In On Himself. "tell Ivy That It Wasn't Her Fault. And Tell Her That At The End... You Remember Love. I Don't Think... We Lose Our Souls... At All. I Think God Keeps Them For Us Until We... Come Home. I Love You, Rachel." "i Love You, Too, Kisten," I Sobbed, And As I Watched, His Eyes, Memorizing My Face, Silvered, And He Died.

She Smiled With The Warmth Of A Penguin.

Rachel?” Came Ivy’s Voice From Her Room. “where’s My Sword?” “in The Foyer Where You Left It Last Week When The Evangelists Were Canvassing The Neighborhood

A Slow Smile Curved Over My Face, And I Leaned Down Over Him. "no," I Said. "wishes Are Lies. Tell Me You're Going To Leave. Tell Me You're Not Going To Stay. Tell Me That It's Only For A While So I Can Enjoy Today," I Whispered In His Ear, As If Saying It Louder Would Break Me. "and When You Go, Don't Think Me Cold When I Don't Cry. I Can't Cry Anymore, Pierce. It Hurts Too Much.

God, If You Ever Loved Me, Open My Eyes For Me When I'm Being This Stupid! (ron)

He Didn't Want Lucy To Grow Up Feeling Alone, Surrounded By Everything And Having Nothing.

Your Welcome Means More To Me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, Than A Thousand Souls. Watching Rachel Work Is A Wonder Of One Catastrophe After Another.

I Turned Back To The Mirror, Seeing That There Were No Lines On It. It Was Empty. "what Happened To My Mirror?" I Said, Bewildered. Then Realizing That I Was Looking At The Back Of The Dumb Thing, I Swore And Turned It Over.

Death And Blood Didn’t Turn On A Vampire. Fear And The Chance To Take Blood Did. There Was A Difference.

Big Lots,' I Said, Seeing The Eighty-year-old Oaks And Shady Lawns. The Houses Were Set Way Back And Had Iron Fences And Stone Drives. The Harder To Hear Your Neighbors Scream, My Dear,' Was David’s Answer, And I Sent My Head Up And Down In Agreement.

His Eyes Met Mine At The Soft Touch, And A Chime Seemed To Shake The Ley Line, Realigning The Universe. He Was Mine.

Can We Get Back To How We’re Going To Kill Nick? And What’s This About A Dead Body? You’d Better Start Talking Quick, Ivy, ’cause I’m Not Going To Play Hide-and-seek With A Dead Guy In My Trunk. I Did That In College, And I’m Not Going To Do It Again.” A Smile Quirked Ivy’s Mouth. “really?” She Asked, And I Flushed.

Cincinnati Morgue, An Equal-opportunity Service Since 1966.

Wayde Yelled, And I Hit Him Again, Adrenaline Pulling A Scream Of Outrage From Me. He Went Quiet, And I Held My Breath To Make Sure I Could Hear Him Breathing. I Suppose I Could Have Used My Magic On Him, But This Was A Lot More Satisfying.

Keep Your Vampire Mitts Off Me. I'm Not Your Friggin' Blood Toy.

I Like The Second Better, But The First Fits With The Vampire Watching What She Can’t Have.” I Blinked. “what He Can’t Have,” I Amended, Flushing.

With A Gentle Pressure, Our Lips Met. His Hands Slipped More Firmly About Me, And I Held Myself Back, Not Afraid, But Wanting To Feel Everything Slowly As I Leaned In, Tasting The Wine On Him, Feeling The Warmth Of His Body Pressing Into Mine, Breathing In Our Scents That Were Mingling And Changing With The Warmth. My Hands Rose To Find His Hair, And I Relaxed Into Him As The Silky Strands Brushed Through My Fingers. I Wanted More, And I Leaned Into Him As Our Lips Moved Against Each Other.

If I’d Been Hit With The Same Thing As Glenn, I Probably Had His Doctor. The Thought Seemed About Right When Glenn Shrank Back In His Chair With A Guilty Expression. The Tomato, Too, Was In Hiding Somewhere. I Didn’t Want To Know Where. I Truly Didn’t.

She Had Given Me A Piece Of What Made Her Life Sane.

Jenks Kept Me Alive For Two Years Through Two Death Threats, A Crazy Banshee, And At Least Two Serial Killers. Its About Time I Return The Favor! And If I Can't, Then I Can Sit By His Bed And Hold His Hand As He Dies, 'cause I've Had Plenty Of Practice Doing That, Too!

Of Course I’m Shielding Her, You Broken Feather!

Al Was Standing A Bare Three Feet Away, His Mood Almost Jovial As He Took The Paper And It Vanished In A Wash Of Black Sparkles. “thank You, Rachel,” He Said, Carefully Reaching For My Hand As Trent Stiffened. “welcome Back, My Itchy Witch.

I Just Want My Name Back So My Life Can Go Back To Chaotic And Weird Instead Of Chaotic And Desperate.

Hey, Ah, Does Anyone Want A Cookie Or Something? Oh Yeah. A Cookie. That Would Make Everything Better. Dunked In A Shot Of Tequila , Maybe? Or Better Yet, Just The Bottle? Yeah, That Ought To Do It.

I’ve Got Your Back. Nothing Alive Will Ever Hurt You If I Have Breath In Me. And Nothing Dead Will Hurt You If I Don’t.” (kisten)

You Can Trust Me To Keep My Word. I Always Keep My Word, Promises Or Threats.

I Hate It When She Tabs A Line," Ivy Whispered To Kisten In The Corner. "you Ever See Anything Freakier Than That?" "you Should See The Face She Makes When She—" "shut Up, Kist!" I Exclaimed, My Eyes Flashing Open To Find Him Grinning At Me.

The Mistakes Don't Matter. It's What You Do When You Mess Up That Does.

A Clipboard And A Hard Hat Could Get You Just About Anywhere.

There Were No More Choices, No More Options, No More Clever Ways Out Of A Tough Situation. And The Rush, I Realized In A Brutal Wash Of Despair, Is A False God I’ve Chased My Entire Life. One That Cost Me Everything In The Blind Search For Sensation. My Entire Existence Amounted To Nothing.

Dead Witch Walking Is Basically A Modern-day Witch Living In Cincinnati.

I’m Your Worst Nightmare Come To Walk This Side Of The Lines. I’m An Elf, Trent Something You’re Forgotten How To Be. You’re Scared Of Black Magic. I Can See Fear Shimmering Under Your Aura Like Sweat. I Live And Breathe Black Magic. I’m So Tainted With It That I Will Use It Without Thought, Without Guilt And Without Hesitation.

Worst Nightmares

There Is Black. There Is White. Gray Is A Cowardly Excuse To Mix Our Wants With Our Needs.

Tell Me Where You Want It,” I Said. Minias Drew Back, His Purple Robes Shifting About His Ankles. “you’re Asking Me?” “well, Unless You Want A Big R On Your Forehead.

I Will Compensate All Your One-inch, Two-inch Losses Because I Know How Important Every Inch Is To You Aged, Decrepit Men.

Memories Of Ice And Trent Surfaced, And I Wrapped My Arms Around My Middle. I Had Saved Him, And He Had Saved Me. What Was Wrong With Us?

See, This Was Why I Liked Coffee. You Couldn’t Screw Up Making Coffee. Even The Bad Stuff Was Good.

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