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I Had To Break Up With My Last Girlfriend For Lying About Being Raped By Her Neighbor. But I've Met Her Neighbor, He's A Cool Guy. Not Like Her Other Creepy Ass Neighbor Though.

-Anthony Jeselnik

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I Had To Break

Anthony Jeselnik

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I Had To Break Up With My Last Girlfriend For Lying About Being Raped By Her Neighbor. But I've Met Her Neighbor, He's A Cool Guy. Not Like Her Other Creepy Ass Neighbor Though.

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What Do I Care If Someone Doesn't Like Me. If I Like Someone Other People Hate, It Makes Me Feel Special. I Think My Fans Feel That Way.

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I Would Love To Dj The Royal Wedding. Just So I Could Play Candle In The Wind Non-stop.

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I'm Really Proud Of The Album. It's Something I Always Wanted To Do But I Had To Wait Until I Was Ready. Shakespeare Is A Culmination Of Eight Years Of Stand Up Experience And Joke Writing. I Recorded Two Shows At The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre In New York. The Crowds Were Great And That's What Really Makes An Album.

Dark Humor Appealed To Me Because It Was A Bigger Laugh Than You Could Get With Anything Else. Seeing People Laugh At Something Inappropriate With Their Whole Bodies, A Guttural, Visceral Laugh Beyond A Mere "hah."

Hitler Really Wasn't So Bad. In The Black Way.

Perhaps I'm Being Too Optimistic, But I Think This Country Is Finally Ready For A Black Serial Killer.

On Twitter, When Someone Would Die, I Would Write A Joke. Or If There's A Tragedy, I Would Write A Joke And Tweet It. That Was My Thing, And Then At A Certain Point, People Started Demanding It.

People Say It's Easy To Make Fun Of Retarded People, But It's Not. You Really Have To Explain It To Them.

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