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And, You Know, Politics Aside, The Success Of Sarah Palin And Women Like Her Is Good For All Women - Except, Of Course - Those Who Will End Up, You Know, Like, Paying For Their Own Rape 'kit 'n' Stuff. But For Everybody Else, It's A Win-win. Unless You're A Gay Woman Who Wants To Marry Your Partner Of 20 Years - Whatever. But For Most Women, The Success Of Conservative Women Is Good For All Of Us. Unless You Believe In Evolution. You Know - Actually, I Take It Back. The Whole Thing's A Disaster.

-Tina Fey

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And, You Know, Politics

Tina Fey

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And, You Know, Politics Aside, The Success Of Sarah Palin And Women Like Her Is Good For All Women - Except, Of Course - Those Who Will End Up, You Know, Like, Paying For Their Own Rape 'kit 'n' Stuff. But For Everybody Else, It's A Win-win. Unless You're A Gay Woman Who Wants To Marry Your Partner Of 20 Years - Whatever. But For Most Women, The Success Of Conservative Women Is Good For All Of Us. Unless You Believe In Evolution. You Know - Actually, I Take It Back. The Whole Thing's A Disaster.

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That Turned-up Collar. The Jacket That Zipped All The Way Down The Front Into A Nice Fitted Shape. The White Denim That Made My Untanned Skin Look Like A Color.

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Politics And Prostitution Have To Be The Only Jobs Where Inexperience Is Considered A Virtue. In What Other Profession Would You Brag About Not Knowing Stuff? “i’m Not One Of Those Fancy Harvard Heart Surgeons. I’m Just An Unlicensed Plumber With A Dream And I’d Like To Cut Your Chest Open.” The Crowd Cheers.

No Other Formula Gives Your Baby A Better Start In Life Except That Stuff That Comes Out Of You For Free.

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In Afghanistan This Week, Outnumbered Northern Alliance Rebels On Horseback Defeated Taliban Forces Armed With Tanks. Experts Say The Victory Is Just Like The Story Of David And Goliath And David's Friend, The Stealth Bomber.

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...the Music Seems Creepy, Like When Children Sing In A Horror Movie

I Had My Hair In A Ponytail And Looked My Trademark Exhausted.

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Let's Review The Cost-free Techniques That We've Learned So Far For Raising An Achievement-oriented, Obedient, Drug-free, Virgin Adult: Calamity, Praise, Local Theater, And Flat Feet. Another Key Element Is "strong Father Figure / Fear Thereof."

I Guess What I Would Tell Women Is To Get Their Education First, Before Having Kids. That Way They Can Keep Their Options Open Down The Road. I Also Think That It Shouldn't Necessarily Be An Issue Just For Women, That Men Should Be Part Of The Stay-home Discussion Too.

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If You Are Capable People Are Happy To Play With You.

If These Two Are Tired Of Having Sex With Each Other, What Hope Is There For The Rest Of Us?

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A Combustion Engine Of Ambition And Disappointment.

I'm A Logic Monster, If Things Don't Make Sense I've Gotta Make Sense Of Them. I Enjoy Helping To Develop Material For Movies, It's A Way For Me To Get Into The Part.

Don't Be Too Precious Or Attached To Anything You Write. Let Things Be Malleable.

I Have Two Daughters, And We Live Here In Manhattan, And Having Gone Through The Manhattan Kindergarten Application Process, Nothing Will Ever Rival The Stress Of That.

An Acting Teacher Once Told Me, 'greet Everything With Yes... Even If You Abandon One Idea For Another One, Saying Yes Allows You To Move Forward.'

[television] Is A Great Medium For Writers, Because There's Just No Time For A Studio To Interfere Very Long. You Write It, You Shoot It; It's On Tv.

An Interim Government Was Set Up In Afghanistan. It Included Two Women, One Of Whom Was Minister Of Women's Affairs. Man, Who'd She Have To Show Here Ankles To To Get That Job?

Sometimes I'll Be Telling My Husband, 'i Think I'm Cracking Up'. Sometimes You Just Need A Minute To Say, 'i Think I'm Cracking' And Just Acknowledge It.

Whenever You See Me, I'm On Antique Quaaludes.

It's Like Being A Little Kid Again, Parading Around In A Nightgown Tucked Into Your Underpants, Believing It Looks Terrific.

I Hire People That Are Good, And Aren't Crazy. Or Assholes. Because That Takes Up Too Much Time. There Are Just As Many Good People Who Are Not Crazy.

Even When I Was At 'snl,' I Didn't Do Impersonations. I Always Wanted To Be The Kind Of Person Who Could Do Them - I Always Thought They Were The Coolest Thing On The Show - But I Didn't Have Any Experience.

Don’t Waste Your Energy Trying To Educate Or Change Opinions; Go Over, Under, Through, And Opinions Will Change Organically When You’re The Boss. Or They Won’t. Who Cares? Do Your Thing, And Don’t Care If They Like It.

I Went To The University Of Virginia And I Came From, I Grew Up In Suburban Philadelphia.

Amy Poehler And I Have Been Friends For So Long, We're Like Oprah And Gale. Only We're Not Denying Anything.

You Can Fix It As Soon As You Get Up - You Brush And Use Mouthwash - But There’s Something About Knowing You Woke Up With Hot-mothball Mouth That Makes You Feel Old. I Think God Designed Our Mouths To Die First To Help Us Slowly Transition To The Grave.

I Am Constantly Amazed By Tina Fey. And I Am Tina Fey.

In Response To The Escalating Violence In Iraq, President Bush Is Delaying The Return Home Of 25,000 Troops And Will Actually Add Reinforcements To The South. Then In A Symbolic Gesture He Pulled Down The Mission Accomplished Banner, Put On A Flight Suit, Walked Backwards To A Jet Fighter And Flew It In Reverse Off An Aircraft Carrier.

I Feel Like There Is A Lot Of Inherent Humor In The Stress And Insanity Surrounding That Process. People Lose Their Minds, Trying To Prove Their Parental Worth By Getting Their Children Into One Of Five Colleges; When There Are Thousands Of Good Colleges Across The United States - And Elsewhere.

I'm Married, You Know. I Love My Husband And I Have A Child.

You All Have Got To Stop Calling Each Other Sluts And Whores. It Only Makes It Okay For Guys To Call You Sluts And Whores.

This Is What I Tell Young Women Who Ask Me For Career Advice. People Are Going To Try To Trick You. To Make You Feel That You Are In Competition With One Another. You're Up For A Promotion. If They Go For A Woman, It'll Be Between You And Barbara. Don't Be Fooled. You're Not In Competition With Other Women. You're In Competition With Everyone.

It Has Been Said That To Write Is To Live Forever. The Man Who Said That Is Dead.

I Had To Face The Fact That I Had Been Using My Gay Friends As Props. They Were Always Supposed To Be Funny And Entertain Me And Praise Me And Listen To My Problems, And Their Life Was Supposed To Be A Secret That No One Wanted To Hear About. I Wanted Them To Stay In The “half Closet.

If You’re Looking For A Spiritual Allegory In The Style Of C.s. Lewis, I Guess You Could Piece Something Together With Lorne Michaels As A Symbol For God And My Struggles With Hair Removal As A Metaphor For Virtue

When I Was Going To School In, Like, '84 To '88, You Didn't Have Cell Phones. There Was No E-mail, If You Can Wrap Your Brain Around That.

Politics And Prostitution Have To Be The Only Jobs Where Inexperience Is Considered A Virtue.

I Really Like John Mccain. He's An Awesome Dude And Was A Lot Of Fun When He Hosted "snl." I'd Love To See A Mccain-giuliani "rage" Ticket.

Being A Mom Has Made Me So Tired. And So Happy.

In Order To Feel Safer On His Private Jet, Actor John Travolta Has Purchased A Bomb-sniffing Dog. Unfortunately For The Actor, The Dog Came Six Movies Too Late.

Read! When Your Baby Is Finally Down For The Night, Pick Up A Juicy Book Like Eat, Pray, Love Or Pride And Prejudice Or My Personal Favorite,understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy And Apnea; A Clinical Study. Taking Some Time To Read Each Night Really Taught Me How To Feign Narcolepsy When My Husband Asked Me What My "plan" Was For Taking Down The Christmas Tree.

When Actors Are Too Good-looking, I Can’t Memorize Them. For Example, I Have Never Seen A Picture Of Sienna Miller Where I Didn’t Say, “that Girl’s Pretty. Who Is That?

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