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An Interesting Play Cannot In The Nature Of Things Mean Anything But A Play In Which Problems Of Conduct And Character Of Personalimportance To The Audience Are Raised And Suggestively Discussed.

-George Bernard Shaw

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An Interesting Play Cannot

George Bernard Shaw

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An Interesting Play Cannot In The Nature Of Things Mean Anything But A Play In Which Problems Of Conduct And Character Of Personalimportance To The Audience Are Raised And Suggestively Discussed.

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Cruelty Must Be Whitewashed By A Moral Excuse, And Pretense Of Reluctance.

If A Man Is Indolent, Let Him Be Poor. If He Is Drunken, Let Him Be Poor.... Also--somewhat Inconsistently--blessed Are The Poor!

Hatred Is The Coward's Revenge For Being Intimidated.

It Is Monstrous That Custom Should Force Us To Display Our Faces Ostentatiously, However Worn And Wrinkled And Mean They May Be, Whilst Carefully Concealing All Our Other Parts, However Shapely And Well Preserved.

Such Poverty As We Have Today In All Our Great Cities Degrades The Poor, And Infects With Its Degradation The Whole Neighborhood In Which They Live. And Whatever Can Degrade A Neighborhood Can Degrade A Country And A Continent And Finally The Whole Civilized World, Which Is Only A Large Neighborhood.

A Man Of My Spiritual Intensity Does Not Eat Corpses.

If Pity Is Akin To Love, Gratitude Is Akin To The Other Thing.

Revelations: A Curious Record Of The Visions Of A Drug Addict.

I Become More Convinced That Beings From Other Planets Are Using The Earth As A Lunatic Asylum

Lunatic Asylums

Reformers Have The Idea That Change Can Be Achieved By Brute Sanity.

Progress Is Impossible Without Change; And Those Who Cannot Change Their Minds Cannot Change Anything.

I Like To Quote Myself Frequently And Often, It Makes Me Sound Much More Intelligent Than I Actually Am.

The Possibilities Are Numerous Once We Decide To Act And Not React.

Decision Making

The Moment We Face It Frankly We Are Driven To The Conclusion That The Community Has A Right To Put A Price On The Right To Live In It ... If People Are Fit To Live, Let Them Live Under Decent Human Conditions. If They Are Not Fit To Live, Kill Them In A Decent Human Way. Is It Any Wonder That Some Of Us Are Driven To Prescribe The Lethal Chamber As The Solution For The Hard Cases Which Are At Present Made The Excuse For Dragging All The Other Cases Down To Their Level, And The Only Solution That Will Create A Sense Of Full Social Responsibility In Modern Populations?

If The Wicked Flourish And The Fittest Survive, Nature Must Be The God Of Rascals.

In The Right Key One Can Say Anything. In The Wrong Key, Nothing: The Only Delicate Part Is The Establishment Of The Key.

Security, The Chief Pretense Of Civilization, Cannot Exist Where The Worst Of Dangers, The Danger Of Poverty, Hangs Over Everyone's Head.

I Dislike Feeling At Home When I Am Abroad.

Every Man Deserves To Be Judged In The Context Of His Times.

Liberty Means Responsibility. That Is Why Most Men Dread It.

I Am Justified. For I Chose Wisdom And The Knowledge Of Good And Evil ; And Now There Is No Evil; And Wisdom And Good Are One. It Is Enough.

There Are Only Two Classes In Good Society In England: The Equestrian Classes And The Neurotic Classes.

Never Fret For An Only Son, The Idea Of Failure Will Never Occur To Him.

When A Stupid Man Is Doing Something He Is Ashamed Of, He Always Declares That It Is His Duty.

If We Have Come To Think That The Nursery And The Kitchen Are The Natural Sphere Of A Woman, We Have Done So Exactly As English Children Come To Think That A Cage Is The Natural Sphere Of A Parrot: Because They Have Never Seen One Anywhere Else.

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.

If History Repeats Itself, And The Unexpected Always Happens, How Incapable Must Man Be Of Learning From Experience.

The Nation's Morals Are Like Its Teeth: The More Decayed They Are The More It Hurts To Touch Them.

Very Nice Sort Of Place, Oxford, I Should Think, For People That Like That Sort Of Place. They Teach You To Be A Gentleman There. In The Polytechnic They Teach You To Be An Engineer Or Such Like. See?

Those Who Won't Hesitate To Vivisect, Won't Hesitate To Lie About It As Well.

The Happiness Of Credulity Is A Cheap And Dangerous Quality.

If There Is A God

Like All Young Men, You Greatly Exaggerate The Difference Between One Young Woman And Another.

I Can't Turn Your Soul On. Leave Me Those Feelings; And You Can Take Away The Voice And The Face. They Are Not You.

[chess] Is A Foolish Expedient For Making Idle People Believe They Are Doing Something Very Clever, When They Are Only Wasting Their Time.

Get Out Of My Way; For I Won't Stop For You.

As Well Consult A Butcher On The Value Of Vegetarianism As A Doctor On The Worth Of Vaccination.

The Most Sincere Form Of Love Is Love For Food

The Test To Which All Methods Of Treatment Are Finally Brought Is Whether They Are Lucrative To Doctors Or Not.

The Problem With The Press Is That They Can't Tell The Difference Between A Bicycle Crash And The End Of Civilization.

The Notion That Persons Should Be Safe From Extermination As Long As They Do Not Commit Willful Murder, Or Levy War Against The Crown, Or Kidnap, Or Throw Vitriol, Is Not Only To Limit Social Responsibility Unnecessarily, And To Privilege The Large Range Of Intolerable Misconduct That Lies Outside Them, But To Divert Attention From The Essential Justification For Extermination, Which Is Always Incorrigible Social Incompatibility And Nothing Else.

Hollywood Keeps Before Its Child Audiences A String Of Glorified Young Heroes, Everyone Of Whom Is An Unhesitating And Violent Anarchist. His One Answer To Everything That Annoys Him Or Disparages His Country Or His Parents Or His Young Lady Or His Personal Code Of Manly Conduct Is To Give The Offender A "sock" In The Jaw.... My Observation Leads Me To Believe That It Is Not The Virtuous People Who Are Good At Socking Jaws.

I Talk Democracy To These Men And Women. I Tell Them That They Have The Vote, And That Theirs Is The Kingdom And The Power And The Glory. I Say To Them You Are Supreme: Exercise Your Power. They Say, That's Right: Tell Us What To Do; And I Tell Them. I Say Exercise Our Vote Intelligently By Voting For Me. And They Do. That's Democracy; And A Splendid Thing It Is Too For Putting The Right Men In The Right Place.

The Englishmen Is At His Best On The Links And At His Worst In The Cabinet.

I Am Very Subtle; But Man Is Deeper In His Thought Than I Am. The Woman Knows That There Is No Such Thing As Nothing: The Man Knows That There Is No Such Day As Tomorrow. I Do Well To Worship Them.

I Wish To Boast That Pygmalion Has Been An Extremely Successful Play All Over Europe And North America As Well As At Home. It Is So Intensely And Deliberately Didactic, And Its Subject Is Esteemed So Dry, That I Delight In Throwing It At The Heads Of The Wiseacres Who Repeat The Parrot Cry That Art Should Never Be Didactic. It Goes To Prove My Contention That Art Should Never Be Anything Else.

Fashions Are The Only Induced Epidemics, Proving That Epidemics Can Be Induced By Tradesmen.

The Plain Working Truth Is That It Is Not Only Good For People To Be Shocked Occasionally, But Absolutely Necessary To The Progress Of Society That They Should Be Shocked Pretty Often.

Progress Of Society

Money Is The Most Important Thing In The World. It Represents Health, Strength, Honor, Generosity, And Beauty As Conspicuously As The Want Of It Represents Illness, Weakness, Disgrace, Meanness, And Ugliness.

Our Laws Make Law Impossible; Our Liberties Destroy All Freedom; Our Property Is Organized Robbery; Our Morality An Impudent Hypocrisy; Our Wisdom Is Administered By Inexperienced Or Mal-experienced Dupes; Our Power Wielded By Cowards And Weaklings; And Our Honour False In All Its Points. I Am An Enemy Of The Existing Order For Good Reasons

Words Are Only Postage Stamps Delivering The Object For You To Unwrap

The English Are Not A Very Spiritual People, So They Invented Cricket To Give Them Some Idea Of Eternity.

It Is In The Hour Of Trial That A Man Finds His True Profession.

Imitation Is Not Just The Sincerest Form Of Flattery - It's The Sincerest Form Of Learning.

If You Can't Get Rid Of The Skeleton In Your Closet, You'd Best Teach It To Dance.

We Should Find Ourselves Committed To Killing A Great Many People Whom We Now Leave Living, And To Leave Living A Great Many People Whom We At Present Kill. We Should Have To Get Rid Of All Ideas About Capital Punishment.

A Pessimist Is A Man Who Thinks Everybody Is As Nasty As Himself, And Hates Them For It.

It's So Hard To Know What To Do When One Wishes Earnestly To Do Right.

Get Married, But Never To A Man Who Is Home All Day.

If At Age 20 You Are Not A Communist Then You Have No Heart. If At Age 30 You Are Not A Capitalist Then You Have No Brains.

The Ability To Make Witty Observations Is Commonly Refered To As "cynism" By People Who Lack It.

I Am Highly Susceptible To The Force Of All Truly Religious Music, Especially To The Music Of My Own Church, The Church Of Shelley, Michelangelo, And Beethoven.

Of All The Anti-social Vested Interests The Worst Is The Vested Interest In Ill-health.

You Have Learnt Something. That Always Feels At First As If You Had Lost Something.

He Who Can, Does. He Who Cannot, Teaches.

A Gentleman Is One Who Puts More Into The World Than He Takes Out.

Personal Growth

The Policy Of Letting Things Alone, In The Practical Sense That The Government Should Never Interfere With Business Or Go Into Business Itself, Is Called Laisser-faire By Economists And Politicians. It Has Broken Down So Completely In Practice That It Is Now Discredited; But It Was All The Fashion In Politics A Hundred Years Ago, And Is Still Influentially Advocated By Men Of Business And Their Backers Who Naturally Would Like To Be Allowed To Make Money As They Please Without Regard To The Interest Of The Public.

The Unconscious Self Is The Real Genius. Your Breathing Goes Wrong The Moment Your Conscious Self Meddles With It.

Christmas Is Forced Upon A Reluctant And Disgusted Nation By The Shopkeepers And The Press; On Its Own Merits It Would Wither And Shrivel In The Fiery Breath Of Universal Hatred.

The Most Tragic Thing In The World Is A Man Of Genius Who Is Not A Man Of Honor.

I Never Accepted A Knighthood Because To Me, Is Honour Enough?

Nobody Can Say A Word Against Greek: It Stamps A Man At Once As An Educated Gentlemen.

The Test Of A Man Or Woman's Breeding Is How They Behave In A Quarrel.

If You Eliminate Smoking And Gambling, You Will Be Amazed To Find That Almost All An Englishman's Pleasures Can Be, And Mostly Are, Shared By His Dog.

Sister, You're Trying To Keep Me Alive As An Old Curiosity, But I'm Done, I'm Finished, I'm Going To Die.

In This World There Is Always Danger For Those Who Are Afraid Of It.

Conceive. That Is The Word That Means Both The Beginning In Imagination And The End In Creation.

What I Say Today Everybody Will Say Tomorrow, Though They Will Not Remember Who Put It Into Their Heads. Indeed They Will Be Right For I Never Remember Who Puts Things Into My Head : It Is The Zeitgeist.

Of All The Damnable Waste Of Human Life That Ever Was Invented, Clerking Is The Worst.

The Love Of Economy Is The Root Of All Virtue.

A Dinner! How Horrible! I Am To Be Made The Pretext For Killing All Those Wretched Animals And Birds, And Fish! Thank You For Nothing. Now If It Were To Be A Fast Instead Of A Feast; Say A Solemn Three Days' Abstention From Corpses In My Honour, I Could At Least Pretend To Believe That It Was Disinterested. Blood Sacrifices Are Not In My Line

The Best Bought-up Children Are Those Who Have Seen Thier Parents As They Are. Hypocrisy Is Not The First Duty Of A Parent.

Only On Paper Has Humanity Yet Achieved Glory, Beauty, Truth, Knowledge, Virtue, And Abiding Love.

War Can So Easily Be Gilt With Romance And Heroism And Solemn National Duty And Patriotism And The Like By Persons Whose Superficial Literary And Oratorical Talent Covers An Abyss Of Godforsaken Folly.

Vulgarity Is A Necessary Part Of A Complete Author's Equipment; And The Clown Is Sometimes The Best Part Of The Circus.

It's A Dangerous Thing To Be Married Right Up To The Hilt, Like My Daughter's Husband. The Man Is At Home All Day, Like A Damned Soul In Hell.

We Must Not Stay As We Are, Doing Always What Was Done Last Time; Or We Shall Stick In The Mud.

Go On Writing Plays, My Boy, One Of These Days One Of These London Producers Will Go Into His Office And Say To His Secretary, "is There A Play From Shaw This Morning?" And When She Says, "no," He Will Say, "well, Then We'll Have To Start On The Rubbish." And That's Your Chance, My Boy.

I Like A Bit Of Mongrel Myself, Whether It's A Man Or A Dog.

The Most Anxious Man In A Prison Is The Governor.

The Real Brahms Is Nothing More Than A Sentimental Voluptuary

It's All That The Young Can Do For The Old, To Shock Them And Keep Them Up To Date.

When You Prevent Me From Doing Anything I Want To Do, That Is Persecution; When I Prevent You From Doing Anything You Want To Do, That Is Law, Order, And Morals.

The Only Power A God Can Teach Is The Power Of Doing Without Happiness.

It Is The End Of Happiness And The Beginning Of Peace.

If Women Were As Fastidious As Men, Morally Or Physically, There Would Be An End Of The Race.

A Conquered Nation Is Like A Man With Cancer: He Can Think Of Nothing Else.

I Have Always Held The Religion Of Muhammad In High Estimation Because Of Its Wonderful Vitality. It Is The Only Religion Which Appears To Me To Possess That Assimilating Capability To The Changing Phase Of Existence Which Can Make Itself Appeal To Every Age... I Have Studied Him - The Wonderful Man, And In My Opinion Far From Being An Anti-christ He Must Be Called The Saviour Of Humanity.

Women Are Called Womanly Only When They Regard Themselves As Existing Solely For The Use Of Men.

Don't Waste Time Collecting Other People's Autographs; Rather Devote It To Making Your Own Autograph Worth Collecting.

When The Master Has Come To Do Everything Through The Slave, The Slave Becomes His Master, Since He Cannot Live Without Him.

A Contract For Better For Worse Is A Contract That Should Not Be Tolerated.

Be As Romantic As You Please About Love ... But You Mustn't Be Romantic About Money.

Titles Distinguish The Mediocre, Embarrass The Superior, And Are Disgraced By The Inferior.

The Secret To Success Is To Offend The Greatest Number Of People.

Congratulations

Most People Do Not Pray; They Only Beg.

Money Is Indeed The Most Important Thing In The World; And All Sound And Successful Personal And National Morality Should Have This Fact For Its Basis.

I Claim To Be A Conscientiously Immoral Writer.

The Censorship Method ... Is That Of Handing The Job Over To Some Frail And Erring Mortal Man, And Making Him Omnipotent On The Assumption That His Official Status Will Make Him Infallible And Omniscient.

The Fact Is That The Intrinsic Worth Of The Book, Play Or Whatever The Author Is Trying To Sell Is The Least, Last Factor In The The Whole Transaction.

The Sex Illusion Is Not A Fixed Quantity: Not What Mathematicians Call A Constant. It Varies From Zero In My Wife's Case To Madness In That Of Our Stepsister.

When The Horrors Of Anarchy Force Us To Set Up Laws That Forbid Us To Fight And Torture One Another For Sport, We Still Snatch At Every Excuse For Declaring Individuals Outside The Protection Of Law And Torturing Them To Our Hearts Content.

We Throw The Whole Drudgery Of Creation On One Sex, And Then Imply That No Female Of Any Delicacy Would Initiate Any Effort In That Direction.

In An Article On Bunyan Lately Published In The "contemporary Review" - The Only Article On The Subject Worth Reading On The Subject I Ever Saw (yes, Thank You, I Am Familiar With Macaulay's Patronizing Prattle About "the Pilgrim's Progress") Etc.

The Art Of Government Is The Organization Of Idolatry. The Bureaucracy Consists Of Functionaries; The Aristocracy, Of Idols; The Democracy, Of Idolaters. The Populace Cannot Understand The Bureaucracy: It Can Only Worship The National Idols.

The Confusing Of Marriage With Morality Has Done More To Destroy The Conscience Of The Human Race Than Any Other Single Error.

With The Exception Of Capitalism, There Is Nothing So Revolting As Revolution.

Whisky Is Liquid Sunshine.

Few People Think More Than Two Or Three Times A Year; I Have Made An International Reputation For Myself By Thinking Once Or Twice A Week.

Until The Men Of Action Clear Out The Talkers We Who Have Social Consciences Are At The Mercy Of Those Who Have None.

Morality Is Not Respectability.

Morality And Ethics

Disobedience, The Rarest And Most Courageous Of The Virtues, Is Seldom Distinguished From Neglect, The Laziest And Commonest Of The Vices.

There Is Only One Belief That Can Rob Death Of Its Sting And The Grave Of Its Victory. For Without That You Cannot Be Born Again.

This Is The True Joy Of Life-the Being Used For A Purpose Recognized By Yourself As A Mighty One, The Being Thoroughly Worn Out Before You Are Thrown To The Scrap-heap; The Being A Force Of Nature Instead Of A Feverish, Selfish Clod Of Ailments And Grievances.

I Was A Cannibal For Twenty-five Years. For The Rest I Have Been A Vegetarian.

Where Equality Is Undisputed, So Also Is Subordination.

Your Heart And Your Mouth Wil Be In Two Separate Parts Of Your Body If You Again Forget In Whose Presence You Stand.

It Has Taken Me Nearly Twenty Years Of Studied Self-restraint, Aided By The Natural Decay Of My Faculties, To Make Myself Dull Enough To Be Accepted As A Serious Person By The British Public; And I Am Not Sure That I Am Not Still Regarded As A Suspicious Character In Some Quarters.

What Is Self-control? It Is Nothing But A Highly Developed Vital Sense, Dominating And Regulating The Mere Appetites. To Overlook The Very Existence Of This Supreme Sense; To Miss The Obvious Inference That It Is The Quality That Distinguishes The Fittest To Survive.

When You Want To Put Something Into Your Part That Is Not In The Play, You Must Ask The Author-or Some Other Author-to Lead Up To The Interpolation For You. Never Forget That The Effect Of A Line May Depend Not On Its Delivery, But On Something Said Earlier In The Play, Either By Somebody Else Or By Yourself, And That If You Change It, It May Be Necessary To Change The Whole First Act As Well.

The Medieval Doctors Of Divinity Who Did Not Pretend To Settle How Many Angels Could Dance On The Point Of A Needle Cut A Very Poor Figure As Far As Romantic Credulity Is Concerned Beside The Modern Physicists Who Have Settled To The Billionth Of A Millimetre Every Movement And Position In The Dance Of The Electrons. Not For Worlds Would I Question The Precise Accuracy Of These Calculations Or The Existence Of Electrons (whatever They May Be). The Fate Of Joan Is A Warning To Me Against Such Heresy.

In A Living Society Every Day Is A Day Of Judgment; And Its Recognition As Such Is Not The End Of All Things But The Beginning Ofa Real Civilization.

The Real Brahms Is Nothing More Than A Sentimental Voluptuary. Rather Tiresomely Addicted To Dressing Himself Up As Handel Or Beethoven And Making A Prolonged And Intolerable Noise.

How Can You Dare Teach A Man To Read Until You've Taught Him Everything Else First?

The Only Secrets Are The Secrets That Keep Themselves.

Keeping Secrets

Except During The Nine Months Before He Draws His First Breath, No Man Manages His Affairs As Well As A Tree Does.

I Am Very Sorry, But I Cannot Learn Languages. I Have Tried Hard, Only To Find That Men Of Ordinary Capacity Can Learn Sanskrit In Less Time That It Takes Me To Buy A German Dictionary

Unless Comedy Touches Me As Well As Amuses Me, It Leaves Me With A Sense Of Having Wasted My Evening. I Go To The Theatre To Be Moved To Laughter, Not To Be Tickled Or Bustled Into It.

Justice Is Impartiality. Only Strangers Are Impartial.

Every Drunken Skipper Trusts To Providence. But One Of The Ways Of Providence With Drunken Skippers Is To Run Them On The Rocks.

In The Arts Of Life Main Invents Nothing; But In The Arts Of Death He Outdoes Nature Herself, And Produces By Chemistry And Machinery All The Slaughter Of Plague, Pestilence And Famine. ... There Is Nothing In Man's Industrial Machinery But His Greed And Sloth: His Heart Is In His Weapons.

Life Is A Disease; And The Only Difference Between On Man And Another Is The Stage Of The Disease At Which He Lives.

Oh, Well, If You Want Original Conversations, You'd Better Go And Talk To Yourself.

The Man Who Has Never Made A Mistake Will Never Make Anything Else.

A Man Ought To Be Able To Be Fond Of His Wife Without Making A Fool Of Himself About Her.

Don't Ask Me For Promises Until I Know What I Am Promising.

It Is Said That Every People Has The Government It Deserves. It Is More To The Point That Every Government Has The Electorate It Deserves; For The Orator Of The Front Bench Can Edify Or Debauch An Ignorant Electorate At Will.

Englishmen Never Will Be Slaves; They Are Free To Do Whatever The Government And Public Opinion Allow Them.

Criminals Do Not Die By The Hands Of The Law. They Die By The Hands Of Other Men.

We Educate One Another; And We Cannot Do This If Half Of Us Consider The Other Half Not Good Enough To Talk To.

Not Good Enough

Liberty Is The Breath Of Life To Nations.

Happy Independence Day

The Most Sublime Courage I Have Ever Witnessed Has Been Among That Class Too Poor To Know They Possessed It, And Too Humble For The World To Discover It.

A Book Is Like A Child: It Is Easier To Bring It Into The World Than To Control It When It Is Launched There.

Self-sacrifice Enables Us To Sacrifice Other People Without Blushing.

We Sing In A Church, Why Can We Not Dance There?

Nobel Prize Money Is A Life-belt Thrown To A Swimmer Who Has Already Reached The Shore In Safety.

Is The Devil To Have All The Passions As Well As All The Good Tunes?

Life Isn't About Finding Yourself. Life Is About Creating Yourself.

We Are Not Taught To Think Decently On Sex Subjects, And Consequently We Have No Language For Them Except Indecent Language.

We're Human Beings We Are - All Of Us - And That's What People Are Liable To Forget. Human Beings Don't Like Peace And Goodwill And Everybody Loving Everybody Else. However Much They May Think They Do, They Don't Really Because They're Not Made Like That. Human Beings Love Eating And Drinking And Loving And Hating. They Also Like Showing Off, Grabbing All They Can, Fighting For Their Rights And Bossing Anybody Who'll Give Them Half A Chance.

To A Mathematician The Eleventh Means Only A Single Unit: To The Bushman Who Cannot Count Further Than His Ten Fingers It Is An Incalculable Myriad.

Set Me Anything To Do As A Task, And It Is Inconceivable The Desire I Have To Do Something Else.

Everybody Who Does Not Live In A Prostitute's Bed And On A Diet Of Cocaine Snow Is Called An Ascetic Nowadays.

Freedom, My Good Girl, Means Being Able To Count On How Other People Will Behave.

Opera Is When A Tenor And Soprano Want To Make Love, But Are Prevented From Doing So By A Baritone.

If You Cannot Get Rid Of The Family Skeleton, You May As Well Make It Dance.

Our Way Of Getting An Army Able To Fight The German Army Is To Declare War On Germany Just As If We Had Such An Army, And Then Trust To The Appalling Resultant Peril And Disaster To Drive Us Into Wholesale Enlistment.

Don't Wait For The Right Opportunity: Create It.

We Are Sick Of War, We Don't Want To Fight, And Yet We Gorge Ourselves Upon The Dead.

Vegetarian Diet

A Newspaper, Not Having To Act On Its Descriptions And Reports, But Only To Sell Them To Idly Curious People, Has Nothing But Honor To Lose By Inaccuracy And Non-veracity.

The Heart Of An Irishman Is Nothing But His Imagination

Pasteboard Pies And Paper Flowers Are Being Banished From The Stage By The Growth Of That Power Of Accurate Observation Which Is Commonly Called Cynicism By Those Who Have Not Got It...

Imprisonment, As It Exists Today, Is A Worse Crime Than Any Of Those Committed By Its Victims.

The Mathematician Is Fascinated With The Marvelous Beauty Of The Forms He Constructs, And In Their Beauty He Finds Everlasting Truth.

I Lay My Eternal Curse On Whomsoever Shall Now Or At Any Time Hereafter Make Schoolbooks Of My Works And Make Me Hated As Shakespeare Is Hated. My Plays Were Not Designed As Instruments Of Torture. All The Schools That Lust After Them Get This Answer, And Will Never Get Any Other.

The Whole Strength Of England Lies In The Fact That The Enormous Majority Of The English People Are Snobs.

Instruction In Sex Is As Important As Instruction In Food; Yet Not Only Are Our Adolescents Not Taught The Physiology Of Sex, But Never Warned That The Strongest Sexual Attraction May Exist Between Persons So Incompatible In Tastes And Capacities That They Could Not Endure Living Together For A Week Much Less A Lifetime.

Nothing Is Ever Done In This World Until Men Are Prepared To Kill One Another If It Is Not Done.

Treat Persons Who Profess To Be Able To Cure Disease As You Treat Fortune Tellers.

Assassination On The Scaffold Is The Worst Form Of Assassination.

The Truth Sticks In Our Throats With All The Sauces It Is Served With: It Will Never Go Down Until We Take It Without Any Sauce At All.

The Conversion Of Paul Was No Conversion At All; It Was Paul Who Converted The Religion That Has Raised One Man Above Sin And Death.

Youth Is Just Wasted On Young People.

The Average Age (longevity) Of A Meat Eater Is 63. I Am On The Verge Of 85 And Still Work As Hard As Ever. I Have Lived Quite Long Enough And Am Trying To Die; But I Simply Cannot Do It. A Single Beef-steak Would Finish Me; But I Cannot Bring Myself To Swallow It. I Am Oppressed With A Dread Of Living Forever. That Is The Only Disadvantage Of Vegetarianism.

Funny Inspirational

All This Struggling And Striving To Make The World Better Is A Great Mistake. Not That It's Wrong To Try To Improve The World If You Know How But Simply Because Struggling And Striving Are The Worst Possible Ways To Go About Doing Anything!

I Am Sorry To Have To Introduce The Subject Of Christmas. It Is An Indecent Subject; A Cruel, Gluttonous Subject; A Drunken, Disorderly Subject; A Wasteful, Disastrous Subject; A Wicked, Cadging, Lying, Filthy, Blasphemous And Demoralizing Subject. Christmas Is Forced On A Reluctant And Disgusted Nation By The Shopkeepers And The Press: On Its Own Merits It Would Wither And Shrivel In The Fiery Breath Of Universal Hatred; And Anyone Who Looked Back To It Would Be Turned Into A Pillar Of Greasy Sausages.

Perhaps The Greatest Social Service That Can Be Rendered By Anybody To The Country And To Mankind Is To Bring Up A Family. But Here Again, Because There Is Nothing To Sell, There Is A Very General Disposition To Regard A Married Woman's Work As No Work At All, And To Take It As A Matter Of Course That She Should Not Be Paid For It.

Everything Happens To Everybody Sooner Or Later If There Is Time Enough.

The Camera Can Represent Flesh So Superbly That, If I Dared, I Would Never Photograph A Figure Without Asking That Figure To Take Its Clothes Off.

I Sing, Not Arms And The Hero, But The Philosophic Man: He Who Seeks In Contemplation To Discover The Inner Will Of The World, Ininvention To Discover The Means Of Fulfilling That Will, And In Action To Do That Will By The So-discovered Means.

Who Are Those We Love? Only Those We Do Not Hate.

A Moderately Honest Man With A Moderately Faithful Wife, Moderate Drinkers Both, In A Moderately Healthy House: That Is The True Middle Class Unit.

Those Who Can’t Change Their Minds Can’t Change Anything.

People Changing

The Difference Between A Lady And A Flower Girl Is Not How She Behaves, But How She’s Treated.

I Occasionally Swank A Little Because People Like It; A Modest Man Is Such A Nuisance.

Most Married Couples Spend The Whole Day Apart, The Woman In The House, The Man In The Office Or Study Or Workshop.

What, Or Who, Led You To Take Up Photography, And About What Date ? George Bernard Shaw – I Always Wanted To Draw And Paint. I Had No Literary Ambition. I Aspired To Be A Michelangelo, Not A Shakespeare. But I Could Not Draw Well Enough To Satisfy Myself; And The Instruction I Could Get Was Worse Than Useless. So When Dry Plates And Push Buttons Came Into The Market I Bought A Box Camera And Began Pushing The Button. It Was In 1898.

The Salvation Of The World Depends On The Men Who Will Not Take Evil Good-humouredly, And Whose Laughter Destroys The Fool Instead Of Encouraging Him.

What Is Life But A Series Of Inspired Follies? The Difficulty Is To Find Them To Do. Never Lose A Chance: It Doesn’t Come Every Day.

Never Forget That If You Leave Your Law To Judges And Your Religion To Bishops, You Will Presently Find Yourself Without Either Law Or Religion.

Finding Yourself

Islam Is The Best Religion And Muslims Are The Worst Followers

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