Background Image

...

A Dinner! How Horrible! I Am To Be Made The Pretext For Killing All Those Wretched Animals And Birds, And Fish! Thank You For Nothing. Now If It Were To Be A Fast Instead Of A Feast; Say A Solemn Three Days' Abstention From Corpses In My Honour, I Could At Least Pretend To Believe That It Was Disinterested. Blood Sacrifices Are Not In My Line

-George Bernard Shaw

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

A Dinner! How Horrible!

George Bernard Shaw

...

A Dinner! How Horrible! I Am To Be Made The Pretext For Killing All Those Wretched Animals And Birds, And Fish! Thank You For Nothing. Now If It Were To Be A Fast Instead Of A Feast; Say A Solemn Three Days' Abstention From Corpses In My Honour, I Could At Least Pretend To Believe That It Was Disinterested. Blood Sacrifices Are Not In My Line

Views: 38482

Topic

More From George Bernard Shaw

My Situation Is A Solemn One: Life Is Offered To Me On The Condition Of Eating Beefsteaks. But Death Is Better Than Cannibalism. My Will Contains Directions For My Funeral, Which Will Be Followed, Not By Mourning Coaches, But By Oxen, Sheep, Flocks Of Poultry, And A Small Traveling Aquarium Of Live Fish, All Wearing White Scarves In Honor Of The Man Who Perished Rather Than Eat His Fellow Creatures. It Will Be, Without The Exception Of Noah's Ark, The Most Remarkable Thing Of Its Kind Ever Seen.

A Perpetual Holiday Is A Good Working Definition Of Hell.

Man Gives Every Reason For His Conduct Save One, Every Excuse For His Crimes Save One, Every Plea For His Safety Save One; And That One Is His Cowardice

The Play Was A Great Success, But Audience Was A Dismal Failure.

Better Keep Yourself Clean And Bright; You Are The Window Through Which You Must See The World.

The Philosopher Is Nature's Pilot.

No Severity Of Punishment Deters When Detection Is Uncertain, As It Always Must Be.

Go On Writing Plays, My Boy, One Of These Days One Of These London Producers Will Go Into His Office And Say To His Secretary, "is There A Play From Shaw This Morning?" And When She Says, "no," He Will Say, "well, Then We'll Have To Start On The Rubbish." And That's Your Chance, My Boy.

What Englishman Will Give His Mind To Politics As Long As He Can Afford To Keep A Motor Car?

I Also Made It Quite Clear That Socialism Means Equality Of Income Or Nothing, And That Under Socialism You Would Not Be Allowed To Be Poor. You Would Be Forcibly Feed, Clothed, Lodged, Taught, And Employed Whether You Like It Or Not. If It Were Discovered That You Had Not Character Enough To Be Worth All This Trouble, You Might Possibly Be Executed In A Kindly Manner; But Whilst You Were Permitted To Live You Would Have To Live Well.

Life At Its Noblest Leaves Mere Happiness Far Behind; And Indeed Cannot Endure It. Happiness Is Not The Object Of Life: Life Has No Object: It Is An End In Itself; And Courage Consists In The Readiness To Sacrifice Happiness For An Intenser Quality Of Life.

Home Is The Girl's Prison And The Woman's Workhouse.

Audacious Ribald: Your Laughter Will Finish In Hideous Boredom Before Morning.

If A Group Of Beings From Another Planet Were To Land On Earth - Beings Who Considered Themselves As Superior To You As You Feel Yourself To Be To Other Animals - Would You Concede Them The Rights Over You That You Assume Over Other Animals?

Even If Animal Experimentation Was Proved To Be Of Value, It Would Be Morally Wrong.

Property, Said Proudhon, Is Theft. This Is The Only Perfect Truism That Has Been Uttered On The Subject.

Hate Is The Revenge Of A Coward Intimidated.

Spend All You Have Before You Die, And Do Not Outlive Yourself.

In Order To Fully Realize How Bad A Popular Play Can Be, It Is Necessary To See It Twice.

Only Fools Repeat The Same Things Over And Over, Expecting To Obtain Different Results.

Geniuses Are Horrid, Intolerant, Easily Offended, Sleeplessly Self-conscious Men, Who Expect Their Wives To Be Angels With No Further Business In Life Than To Pet And Worship Their Husbands. Even At The Best They Are Not Comfortable Men To Live With; And A Perfect Husband Is One Who Is Perfectly Comfortable To Live With.

It Is A Woman's Business To Get Married As Soon As Possible, And A Man's To Keep Unmarried As Long As He Can.

The Whole Strength Of England Lies In The Fact That The Enormous Majority Of The English People Are Snobs.

I Finished My First Book Seventy-six Years Ago. I Offered It To Every Publisher On The English-speaking Earth I Had Ever Heard Of. Their Refusals Were Unanimous: And It Did Not Get Into Print Until, Fifty Years Later; Publishers Would Publish Anything That Had My Name On It.

If You Leave The Smallest Corner Of Your Head Vacant For A Moment, Other People's Opinions Will Rush In From All Quarters.

Disobedience, The Rarest And Most Courageous Of The Virtues, Is Seldom Distinguished From Neglect, The Laziest And Commonest Of The Vices.

If You Strike A Child, Take Care That You Strike It In Anger, Even At The Risk Of Maiming It For Life. A Blow In Cold Blood Neither Can Nor Should Be Forgiven.

Only Lawyers And Mental Defectives Are Automatically Exempt For Jury Duty.

Cruelty Would Be Delicious If One Could Only Find Some Sort Of Cruelty That Didn't Really Hurt.

If We Women Were Particular About Men's Characters, We Should Never Get Married At All.

The Thought Of Two Thousand People Crunching Celery At The Same Time Horrified Me.

My Opportunities Were Still There, Nay, They Multiplied Tenfold; But The Strength And Youth To Cope With Them Began To Fail, And To Need Eking Out With The Shifty Cunning Of Experience.

Jesus Remains Unshaken As The Practical Man; And We Stand Exposed As The Fools, The Blunderers, The Unpractical Visionaries.

We Learn From History That We Learn Nothing From History.

Now That We Have Learned To Fly The Air Like Birds, Swim Under Water Like Fish, We Lack One Thing - To Learn To Live On Earth As Human Beings.

We Are The Living Graves Of Murdered Beasts.

Vegetarian Diet

When God Created Man And Woman, He Did Not Take A Patent. That's Why Any Imbecile Has Been Able To Do So Ever Since.

There Are Scores Of Thousands Of Human Insects Who Are Ready At A Moment's Notice To Reveal The Will Of God On Every Possible Subject

If You Would Stick To The Concrete, And Put Your Discoveries In The Form Of Entertaining Anecdotes About Your Adventures With Women, Your Conversation Would Be Easier To Follow.

The Medical Profession (is) A Conspiracy To Hide Its Own Shortcomings. No Doubt The Same May Be Said Of All Professions. They Are All Conspiracies Against The Laity... (u)ntil There Is A Practicable Alternative To Blind Trust In The Doctor, The Truth About The Doctor Is So Terrible That We Dare Not Face It.

Capitalism Has Destroyed Our Belief In Any Effective Power But That Of Self Interest Backed By Force. But Even Capitalist Cynicism Will Admit That However Unconscionable We May Be When Our Own Interests Are Affected, We Can Be Most Indignantly Virtuous At The Expense Of Others.

Newspaper : A Device Unable To Distinguish Between A Bicycle Accident And The Collapse Of Civilisation.

The Buried Truth Germinates And Breaks Through To The Light.

Anarchism Is A Game At Which The Police Can Beat You.

Two People Getting Together To Write A Book Is Like Three People Getting Together To Have A Baby. One Of Them Is Superfluous.

The Worst Sin Toward Our Fellow Creatures Is Not To Hate Them, But To Be Indifferent To Them: That's The Essence Of Inhumanity.

What A Heartbreaking Job It Is Trying To Combine Authors For Their Own Protection... The First Lesson I Learned Was That When You Take The Field For The Authors You Will Be Safer Without A Breastplate Than Without A Backplate.

Political Necessities Sometime Turn Out To Be Political Mistakes.

Am Reserving Two Tickets For You For My Premiere. Come And Bring A Friend - If You Have One. Telegram Inviting Winston Churchill To Opening Night Of Pygmalion. Churchill Wired Back: Impossible To Be Present For The First Performance. Will Attend The Second - If There Is One.

Choose Silence Of All Virtues, For By It You Hear Other Men's Imperfections, And Conceal Your Own.

If You Eliminate Smoking And Gambling, You Will Be Amazed To Find That Almost All An Englishman's Pleasures Can Be, And Mostly Are, Shared By His Dog.

The Man Who Has Never Made A Mistake Will Never Make Anything Else.

In Heaven An Angel Is Nobody In Particular.

Compassion Is The Fellow-feeling Of The Unsound.

When You Want To Put Something Into Your Part That Is Not In The Play, You Must Ask The Author-or Some Other Author-to Lead Up To The Interpolation For You. Never Forget That The Effect Of A Line May Depend Not On Its Delivery, But On Something Said Earlier In The Play, Either By Somebody Else Or By Yourself, And That If You Change It, It May Be Necessary To Change The Whole First Act As Well.

What Right Has Any Human Being To Talk Of Bringing Up A Child? You Do Not Bring Up A Tree Or A Plant. It Brings Itself Up. You Have To Give It A Fair Chance By Tilling The Soil.

Reformers Have The Idea That Change Can Be Achieved By Brute Sanity.

Don't Order Any Black Things. Rejoice In His Memory; And Be Radiant: Leave Grief To The Children. Wear Violet And Purple. Be Patient With The Poor People Who Will Snivel: They Don't Know; And They Think They Will Live For Ever, Which Makes Death A Division Instead Of A Bond.

If History Repeats Itself, And The Unexpected Always Happens, How Incapable Must Man Be Of Learning From Experience.

Marriage Is Tolerable Enough In Its Way If Youre Easygoing And Dont Expect Too Much From It. But It Doesnt Bear Thinking About.

The First Prison I Ever Saw Had Inscribed On It Cease To Do Evil: Learn To Do Well; But As The Inscription Was On The Outside, The Prisoners Could Not Read It.

Modern Poverty Is Not The Poverty That Was Blest In The Sermon On The Mount.

Sermon On The Mount

Just Do What Must Be Done. This May Not Be Happiness, But It Is Greatness.

The Things Most People Want To Know About Are Usually None Of Their Business.

If The English Can Survive Their Food, They Can Survive Anything.

Money Is Indeed The Most Important Thing In The World; And All Sound And Successful Personal And National Morality Should Have This Fact For Its Basis.

Every Step Of Progress Means A Duty Repudiated, And A Scripture Torn Up.

The Capacity Of Any Conqueror Is More Likely Than Not To Be An Illusion Produced By The Incapacity Of His Adversary.

I Like A State Of Continual Becoming, With A Goal In Front And Not Behind.

The Business Man - The Man To Whom Age Brings Golf Instead Of Wisdom.

Men Are Wise In Proportion, Not To Their Experience, But To Their Capacity For Experience.

He Who Has Never Hoped Can Never Despair

I Was A Freethinker Before I Knew How To Think.

The Real Moment Of Success Is Not The Moment Apparent To The Crowd.

People Who Are Hard, Grasping And Always Ready To Take Advantage Of Their Neighbors Become Very Rich.

Life Contains But Two Tragedies. One Is Not To Get Your Heart's Desire; The Other Is To Get It.

Some Persons, By Hating Vice Too Much, Come To Love Men Too Little. Hatred Is Self-punishment. Hatred Is The Cowards Revenge For Being Intimidated.

An Index Is A Great Leveller.

All Progress Depends Upon The Unreasonable Person.

Where Equality Is Undisputed, So Also Is Subordination.

Have You Ever Met A Man Of Good Character Where Women Are Concerned?

As 99 Per Cent Of English Authors And 100 Per Cent Of American Ones [authors] Are Just Such Imbeciles, Managers And Publishers Make A Practice Of Asking For Every Right The Author Possesses.

I Find That The Moment I Let A Woman Make Friends With Me, She Becomes Jealous, Exacting, Suspicious, And A Damned Nuisance. I Find That The Moment I Let Myself Make Friends With A Woman, I Become Selfish And Tyrannical.

Life Is A Disease; And The Only Difference Between On Man And Another Is The Stage Of The Disease At Which He Lives.

Every Drunken Skipper Trusts To Providence. But One Of The Ways Of Providence With Drunken Skippers Is To Run Them On The Rocks.

No Man Can Be A Pure Specialist Without Being In The Strict Sense An Idiot.

When Our Relatives Are At Home, We Have To Think Of All Their Good Points Or It Would Be Impossible To Endure Them.

Hurrah For Revolution And More Cannon-shot! A Beggar Upon Horseback Lashes A Beggar On Foot. Hurrah For Revolution And Cannon Come Again! The Beggars Have Changed Places, But The Lash Goes On.

A Miracle Is An Event Which Creates Faith. That Is The Purpose And Nature Of Miracles. Frauds Deceive. An Event Which Creates Faith Does Not Deceive: Therefore It Is Not A Fraud, But A Miracle.

An Author Who Gives A Manager Or Publisher Any Rights In His Work Except Those Immediately And Specifically Required For Its Publication Or Performance Is For Business Purposes An Imbecile.

As Well Consult A Butcher On The Value Of Vegetarianism As A Doctor On The Worth Of Vaccination.

I Have Defined The Hundred Per Cent American As Ninety-nine Per Cent An Idiot.

Now Of All The Idealist Abominations That Make Society Pestiferous I Doubt If There Be Any So Mean As That Of Forcing Self-sacrifice On A Woman Under The Pretense That She Likes It.

Unless Comedy Touches Me As Well As Amuses Me, It Leaves Me With A Sense Of Having Wasted My Evening. I Go To The Theatre To Be Moved To Laughter, Not To Be Tickled Or Bustled Into It.

As Long As More People Will Pay Admission To A Theater To See A Naked Body Than To See A Naked Brain, The Drama Will Languish.

Capitalism Justified Itself And Was Adopted As An Economic Principle On The Express Ground That It Provides Selfish Motives For Doing Good, And That Human Beings Will Do Nothing Except For Selfish Motives

Most People Do Not Pray; They Only Beg.

The Stock Actor Is A Stage Calamity

What, Or Who, Led You To Take Up Photography, And About What Date ? George Bernard Shaw – I Always Wanted To Draw And Paint. I Had No Literary Ambition. I Aspired To Be A Michelangelo, Not A Shakespeare. But I Could Not Draw Well Enough To Satisfy Myself; And The Instruction I Could Get Was Worse Than Useless. So When Dry Plates And Push Buttons Came Into The Market I Bought A Box Camera And Began Pushing The Button. It Was In 1898.

People Have Pointed Out Evidences Of Personal Feeling In My Notices As If They Were Accusing Me Of A Misdemeanor, Not Knowing That Criticism Written Without Personal Feeling Is Not Worth Reading. It Is The Capacity For Making Good Or Bad Art A Personal Matter That Makes A Man A Critic.

A Contract For Better For Worse Is A Contract That Should Not Be Tolerated.

Murder And Capital Punishment Are Not Opposites That Cancel One Another, But Similars That Breed Their Kind. It Is The Deed That Teaches Not The Name We Give It.

I Never Resist Temptation, Because I Have Found That Things That Are Bad For Me Do Not Tempt Me.

Instead Of Otello Being An Italian Opera Written In The Style Of Shakespeare, Othello Is A Play Written By Shakespeare In The Style Of Italian Opera.

It's A Pity Youth Is Wasted On The Young.

Orchestras Only Need To Be Sworn At, And A German Is Consequently At An Advantage With Them, As English Profanity, Except In America, Has Not Gone Beyond A Limited Technology Of Perdition.

Instruction In Sex Is As Important As Instruction In Food; Yet Not Only Are Our Adolescents Not Taught The Physiology Of Sex, But Never Warned That The Strongest Sexual Attraction May Exist Between Persons So Incompatible In Tastes And Capacities That They Could Not Endure Living Together For A Week Much Less A Lifetime.

Affection Between Adults - If They Are Really Adult In Mind And Not Merely Grown Up Children - And Creatures So Relatively Selfish And Cruel As Children Necessarily Are Without Knowing It Or Meaning It, Cannot Be Called Natural.

You Are All Fundamentalists With A Top Dressing Of Science. That Is Why You Are The Stupidest Of Conservatives And Reactionists In Politics And The Most Bigoted Of Obstructionists In Science Itself. When It Comes To Getting A Move On You Are All Of The Same Opinion: Stop It, Flog It, Hang It, Dynamite It, Stamp It Out.

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It. They Spell It So Abominably That No Man Can Teach Himself What It Soundslike.it Isimpossible Foran Englishmanto Openhis Mouth Without Making Some Other Englishman Hate Or Despise Him.

The Confusing Of Marriage With Morality Has Done More To Destroy The Conscience Of The Human Race Than Any Other Single Error.

Women Upset Everything. When You Let Them Into Your Life, You Find That The Woman Is Driving At One Thing And You're Driving At Another.

If You Teach A Man Anything, He Will Never Learn.

Animals Are My Friends... And I Don't Eat My Friends.

Rebecca [west] Can Handle A Pen As Brilliantly As Ever I Could And Much More Savagely.

In Literature The Ambition Of The Novice Is To Acquire The Literary Language; The Struggle Of The Adept Is To Get Rid Of It.

The Moment We Face It Frankly We Are Driven To The Conclusion That The Community Has A Right To Put A Price On The Right To Live In It

An Englishman Does Everything On Principle: He Fights You On Patriotic Principles; He Robs You On Business Principles; He Enslaves You On Imperial Principles.

An Actress Is Not A Lady; At Least, When She Is, She Is Not An Actress.

An Election Is A Moral Horror, As Bad As A Battle Except For The Blood; A Mud Bath For Every Soul Concerned In It.

Success Does Not Consist In Never Making Mistakes But In Never Making The Same One A Second Time.

I Am Giving You Examples Of The Fact That This Creature Man, Who In His Own Selfish Affairs Is A Coward To The Backbone, Will Fight For An Idea Like A Hero. . . . I Tell You, Gentlemen, If You Can Shew A Man A Piece Of What He Now Calls God's Work To Do, And What He Will Later Call By Many New Names, You Can Make Him Entirely Reckless Of The Consequences To Himself Personally.

Why Should We Take Advice On Sex From The Pope? If He Knows Anything About It, He Shouldn't!

What We Want Is To See The Child In Pursuit Of Knowledge, And Not Knowledge In Pursuit Of The Child.

The Anti-vivisector Does Not Deny That Physiologists Must Make Experiments And Even Take Chances With New Methods. He Says That They Must Not Seek Knowledge By Criminal Methods, Just As They Must Not Make Money By Criminal Methods. He Does Not Object To Galileo Dropping Cannon Balls From The Top Of The Leaning Tower Of Pisa; But He Would Object To Shoving Off Two Dogs Or American Tourists.

Just As The Liar 's Punishment Is, Not In The Least That He Is Not Believed , But That He Cannot Believe Any One Else; So A Guilty Society Can More Easily Be Persuaded That Any Apparently Innocent Act Is Guilty Than That Any Apparently Guilty Act Is Innocent.

Communism, Being The Lay Form Of Catholicism, And Indeed Meaning The Same Thing, Has Never Had Any Lack Of Chaplains.

Whenever I See The Word Operation, Especially Trifling Operation, I At Once Write Off The Patient As Dead.

Sherlock Holmes Was A Drug Addict Without A Single Amiable Trait.

All Roads End At The Grave, Which Is The Gate To Nothingness.

I Sing, Not Arms And The Hero, But The Philosophic Man: He Who Seeks In Contemplation To Discover The Inner Will Of The World, Ininvention To Discover The Means Of Fulfilling That Will, And In Action To Do That Will By The So-discovered Means.

Changeable Women Are More Endurable That Monotonous Ones; They Are Sometimes Murdered But Never Deserted.

People Become Attached To Their Burdens Sometimes More Than The Burdens Are Attached To Them.

Marriage Is The Most Licentious Of Human Institutions.

It's Not That I'm So Clever, It Is That Others Are So Stupid.

Reading Made Don Quixote A Gentleman, But Believing What He Read Made Him Mad.

Have You No Morals, Man?' 'can't Afford Them,governor.

The Schoolmaster Is The Person Who Takes The Children Off The Parents' Hands For A Consideration. That Is To Say, He Establishes A Child Prison, Engages A Number Of Employee Schoolmasters As Turnkeys, And Covers Up The Essential Cruelty And Unnaturalness Of The Situation By Torturing The Children If They Do Not Learn, And Calling This Process, Which Is Within The Capacity Of Any Fool Or Blackguard, By The Sacred Name Of Teaching.

Gambling Promises The Poor What Property Performs For The Rich-something For Nothing.

Science Can Never Solve One Problem Without Raising Ten More Problems.

Your Father Is A Fool Skin Deep; But You Are A Fool To Your Very Marrow.

He Said That Private Practice In Medicine Ought To Be Put Down By Law. When I Asked Him Why, He Said That Private Doctors Were Ignorant Licensed Murders.

Our Prejudices Are So Deeply Rooted That We Never Think Of Them As Prejudices But Call Them Common Sense.

No Man Ever Believes That The Bible Means What It Says: He Is Always Convinced That It Says What He Means.

Shall I Turn Up The Light For You? No, Give Me Deeper Darkness. Money Is Not Made In The Light.

I Learned Long Ago, Never To Wrestle With A Pig. You Get Dirty, And Besides, The Pig Likes It.

The Domestic Career Is No More Natural To All Women Than The Military Career Is Natural To All Men.

There Are Some Experiences In Life Which Should Not Be Demanded Twice From Any Man, And One Of Them Is Listening To The Brahms Requiem.

The Golden Rule Is That There Are No Golden Rules.

A Day's Work Is A Day's Work, Neither More Nor Less, And The Man Or Woman Who Does It Needs A Day's Sustenance, A Night's Repose And Due Leisure, Whether They Be Painter Or Ploughman.

Write Your Sad Times In Sand, Write Your Good Times In Stone.

Every Fool Believes What His Teachers Tell Him, And Calls His Credulity Science Or Morality As Confidently As His Father Called It Divine Revelation.

A Broken Heart Is A Very Pleasant Complaint For A Man In London If He Has A Comfortable Income.

Decency Cannot Be Discussed Without Indecency!

An English Army Led By An Irish General: That Might Be A Match For A French Army Led By An Italian General.

Give Me The Artist Who Breathes It Like A Native, And Goes About His Work In It As Quietly As A Common Man Goes About His Ordinary Business. Mozart Did So; And That Is Why I Like Him. Even If I Did Not, I Should Pretend To; For A Taste In His Music Is A Mark Of Caste Among Musicians, And Should Be Worn, Like A Tall Hat, By The Amateur Who Wishes To Pass For A True Brahmin.

I ... Must Continue To Strive For More Knowledge And More Power, Though The New Knowledge Always Contradicts The Old And The New Power Is The Destruction Of The Fools Who Misuse It.

What Really Flatters A Man Is That You Think Him Worth Flattering.

A Great Social Reformer.

A Photographer Is Like A Cod, Which Produces A Million Eggs In Order That One May Reach Maturity.

What A Man Believes May Be Ascertained, Not From His Creed, But From The Assumptions On Which He Habitually Acts.

A Man Of My Spiritual Intensity Does Not Eat Corpses.

The 100% American Is 99% Idiot.

Don't Waste Time Collecting Other People's Autographs; Rather Devote It To Making Your Own Autograph Worth Collecting.

No Sooner Had Jesus Knocked Over The Dragon Of Superstition Than Paul Boldly Set It On Its Legs Again In The Name Of Jesus.

The Great Secret...is Not Having Bad Manners Or Good Manners...but Having The Same Manner For All Human Souls.

I Don't. I Look My Age; And I Am My Age. It Is The Other People Who Look Older Than They Are. What Can You Expect From People Who Eat Corpses And Drink Spirits?

Liberty Is The Breath Of Life To Nations.

Happy Independence Day

I Am Very Subtle; But Man Is Deeper In His Thought Than I Am. The Woman Knows That There Is No Such Thing As Nothing: The Man Knows That There Is No Such Day As Tomorrow. I Do Well To Worship Them.

Life On Board A Pleasure Steamer Violates Every Moral And Physical Condition Of Healthy Life Except Fresh Air. . . . It Is A Guzzling, Lounging, Gambling, Dog's Life. The Only Alternative To Excitement Is Irritability.

[...] Any Fool Can Make A Discovery. Every Baby Has To Discover More In The First Years Of Its Life Than Roger Bacon Ever Discovered In His Laboratory.

When The Horrors Of Anarchy Force Us To Set Up Laws That Forbid Us To Fight And Torture One Another For Sport, We Still Snatch At Every Excuse For Declaring Individuals Outside The Protection Of Law And Torturing Them To Our Hearts Content.

In Your Salvation Shelter I Saw Poverty, Misery, Cold And Hunger. You Gave Them Bread And Treacle And Dreams Of Heaven. I Give From Thirty Shillings A Week To Twelve Thousand A Year. They Find Their Own Dreams; But I Look After The Drainage.

It's All That The Young Can Do For The Old, To Shock Them And Keep Them Up To Date.

No Elaboration Of Physical Or Moral Accomplishment Can Atone For The Sin Of Parasitism.

Virtue Is Insufficient Temptation.

When Satan Makes Impure Verses, Allah Sends A Divine Tune To Cleanse Them.

I Hate The Poor And Look Forward Eagerly To Their Extermination.

What Is Virtue But The Trade Unionism Of The Married?

If You Leave Your Art, The World Will Beat You Back To It. The World Has Not An Ambition Worth Sharing, Or A Prize Worth Handling.

You Don't Expect Me To Know What To Say About A Play When I Don't Know Who The Author Is, Do You? . . . If It's By A Good Author, It's A Good Play, Naturally. That Stands To Reason.

The Seven Deadly Sins... Food, Clothing, Firing, Rent, Taxes, Respectability And Children. Nothing Can Lift Those Seven Millstones From Man's Neck But Money; And The Spirit Cannot Soar Until The Millstones Are Lifted.

A Serious Illness Or A Death Advertises The Doctor Exactly As A Hanging Advertises The Barrister Who Defended The Person Hanged.

Serious Illness

Discussing Vaccination With A Doctor Is Like Discussing Vegetarianism With A Butcher.

A Family Is A Tyranny Ruled Over By It's Weakest Member.

We Have In England A Curious Belief In First-rate People, Meaning All The People We Do Not Know; And This Consoles Us For The Undeniable Second-rateness Of The People We Do Know.

When We Know What God Is, We Shall Be Gods Ourselves.

Altogether Too Many Sheep

Absolute Honesty Is As Absurd An Abstraction As An Absolute Temperature Or An Absolute Value.

As Long As I Have A Want, I Have A Reason For Living. Satisfaction Is Death.

A Conquered Nation Is Like A Man With Cancer: He Can Think Of Nothing Else.

Activity Is The Only Road To Knowledge.

There Is No Accomplishment So Easy To Acquire As Politeness And None More Profitable.

Emotional Excitement Reaches Men Through Tea, Tobacco, Opium, Whisky, And Religion.

We Must All Share In The Evils Of The World Or Move To Another Planet.

Make Money And The Whole Nation Will Conspire To Call You A Gentleman.

Such Poverty As We Have Today In All Our Great Cities Degrades The Poor, And Infects With Its Degradation The Whole Neighborhood In Which They Live. And Whatever Can Degrade A Neighborhood Can Degrade A Country And A Continent And Finally The Whole Civilized World, Which Is Only A Large Neighborhood.

If There Was Nothing Wrong In The World There Wouldn't Be Anything For Us To Do.

You Have A Choice Of Trusting The Natural Stability Of Gold, Or The Honesty And Intelligence Of Members Of Government.

The Best Bought-up Children Are Those Who Have Seen Thier Parents As They Are. Hypocrisy Is Not The First Duty Of A Parent.

Trending Author

Alberto Giacometti

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Category