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We're Human Beings We Are - All Of Us - And That's What People Are Liable To Forget. Human Beings Don't Like Peace And Goodwill And Everybody Loving Everybody Else. However Much They May Think They Do, They Don't Really Because They're Not Made Like That. Human Beings Love Eating And Drinking And Loving And Hating. They Also Like Showing Off, Grabbing All They Can, Fighting For Their Rights And Bossing Anybody Who'll Give Them Half A Chance.

-George Bernard Shaw

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We're Human Beings We

George Bernard Shaw

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We're Human Beings We Are - All Of Us - And That's What People Are Liable To Forget. Human Beings Don't Like Peace And Goodwill And Everybody Loving Everybody Else. However Much They May Think They Do, They Don't Really Because They're Not Made Like That. Human Beings Love Eating And Drinking And Loving And Hating. They Also Like Showing Off, Grabbing All They Can, Fighting For Their Rights And Bossing Anybody Who'll Give Them Half A Chance.

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I Was Convinced That Ceylon Is The Cradle Of The Human Race Because Everybody There Looks An Original. All Other Nations Are Obviously Mass Produced.

The Function Of The Actor Is To Make The Audience Imagine For The Moment That Real Things Are Happening To Real People.

The Lesson Intended By An Author Is Hardly Ever The Lesson The World Chooses To Learn From His Book.

Assassination Is The Extreme Form Of Censorship.

Deep Knowledge Is Not Knowledge Of The Thing Itself, But Knowledge Of A Thing Like The Thing. Then, You Gain Not One Knowledge, But Two Knowledges. Of The Thing. And Of The Original Thing With Is Like The Thing. Which Is The Barbarism Of The Privileged Class.

As Long As You Don't Fly Openly In The Face Of Society, Society Doesn't Ask Any Inconvenient Questions; And It Makes Precious Short Work Of The Cads Who Do. There Are No Secrets Better Kept Than The Secrets Everybody Guesses.

Dancing Is A Perpendicular Expression Of A Horizontal Desire.

A Pessimist Is A Man Who Thinks Everybody Is As Nasty As Himself, And Hates Them For It.

To Be A Champion You Must Live Like One.

My Specialty Is Being Right When Other People Are Wrong.

Those Who Do Not Know How To Live Must Make A Merit Of Dying.

Perhaps The Greatest Social Service That Can Be Rendered By Anybody To The Country And To Mankind Is To Bring Up A Family.

The World Was To Shakespeare A Great Stage Of Fools On Which He Was Utterly Bewildered. His Pregnant Observations Of Life Are Not Coordinated Into Any Philosophy.

The Heretic Is Always Better Dead. And Mortal Eyes Cannot Distinguish The Saint From The Heretic.

All Religions Begin With A Revolt Against Morality, And Perish When Morality Conquers Them.

Must Then A Christ Perish In Torment In Every Age To Save Those That Have No Imagination.

Never Forget That If You Leave Your Law To Judges And Your Religion To Bishops, You Will Presently Find Yourself Without Either Law Or Religion.

Finding Yourself

Bourgeois Morality Is Largely A System Of Making Cheap Virtues A Cloak For Expensive Vices.

What Is Life But A Series Of Inspired Follies.

It Is Always Necessary To Overstate A Cast Startlingly To Make People Sit Up And Listen To It, And To Frighten Them Into Acting On It.

As I Write, There Is A Craze For What Is Called Psychoanalysis, Or The Cure Of Diseases By Explaining To The Patient What Is The Matter With Him: An Excellent Plan If You Happen To Know What Is The Matter With Him, Especially When The Explanation Is That There Is Nothing The Matter With Him.

Why Should We Take Advice On Sex From The Pope? If He Knows Anything About It, He Shouldn't!

Capitalism Has Destroyed Our Belief In Any Effective Power But That Of Self Interest Backed By Force. But Even Capitalist Cynicism Will Admit That However Unconscionable We May Be When Our Own Interests Are Affected, We Can Be Most Indignantly Virtuous At The Expense Of Others.

That Is The Whole Secret Of Successful Fighting. Get Your Enemy At A Disadvantage; And Never, On Any Account, Fight Him On Equal Terms.

A Day's Work Is A Day's Work, Neither More Nor Less, And The Man Or Woman Who Does It Needs A Day's Sustenance, A Night's Repose And Due Leisure, Whether They Be Painter Or Ploughman.

The Test Of Good Education Is Seeing How It Behaves In A Fight.

You Practically Do Not Use Semicolons At All. This Is A Symptom Of Mental Defectiveness, Probably Induced By Camp Life.

I Believe In The Discipline Of Silence, And Could Talk For Hours About It.

No Man Manages His Affairs As Well As A Tree Does

Except During The Nine Months Before He Draws His First Breath, No Man Manages His Affairs As Well As A Tree Does.

You Are My Inspiration And My Folly. You Are My Light Across The Sea, My Million Nameless Joys, And My Day's Wage. You Are My Divinity, My Madness, My Selfishness, My Transfiguration And Purification. You Are My Rapscallionly Fellow Vagabond, My Tempter And Star. I Want You.

Baseball Has The Great Advantage Over Cricket Of Being Sooner Ended.

I Assume That To Prevent Illness In Later Life, You Should Never Have Been Born At All.

Do Not Try To Live Forever. You Will Not Succeed.

It Exasperated Her To Think That The Dungeon In Which She Had Languished For So Many Unhappy Years Had Been Unlocked All The Time, And That The Impulses She Had So Carefully Struggled With And Stifled For The Sake Of Keeping Well With Society, Were Precisely Those By Which Alone She Could Have Come Into Any Sort Of Sincere Human Contact.

German And Spanish Are Accessible To Foreigners: English Is Not Accessible Even To Englishmen.

Taxes Are The Chief Business Of A Conqueror Of The World.

Democracy Substitutes Election By The Incompetent Many For Appointment By The Corrupt Few.

Democracies Have

We Should Have Had Socialism Already, But For The Socialists, Am Quite Willing To Drop The Name If Dropping It Will Help Me To Get The Thing.

The Moment We Face It Frankly We Are Driven To The Conclusion That The Community Has A Right To Put A Price On The Right To Live In It

I Must Have Been An Insufferable Child; All Children Are.

I Am Very Sorry, But I Cannot Learn Languages. I Have Tried Hard, Only To Find That Men Of Ordinary Capacity Can Learn Sanskrit In Less Time That It Takes Me To Buy A German Dictionary

When Satan Makes Impure Verses, Allah Sends A Divine Tune To Cleanse Them.

If Any Religion Had A Chance Of Ruling Over England, Nay Europe Within The Next Hundred Years, It Could Be Islam.

A Little Learning Is A Dangerous Thing, But We Must Take That Risk Because A Little Is As Much As Our Biggest Heads Can Hold.

The Epithet Beautiful Is Used By Surgeons To Describe Operations Which Their Patients Describe As Ghastly, By Physicists To Describe Methods Of Measurement Which Leave Sentimentalists Cold, By Lawyers To Describe Cases Which Ruin All The Parties To Them, And By Lovers To Describe The Objects Of Their Infatuation, However Unattractive They May Appear To The Unaffected Spectators.

Cruelty Must Be Whitewashed By A Moral Excuse, And Pretense Of Reluctance.

There Is No Accomplishment So Easy To Acquire As Politeness And None More Profitable.

I Tell You That As Long As I Can Conceive Something Better Than Myself I Cannot Be Easy Unless I Am Striving To Bring It Into Existence Or Clearing The Way For It.

Life Is A First Draft... With No Rewrite.

Security, The Chief Pretense Of Civilization, Cannot Exist Where The Worst Of Dangers, The Danger Of Poverty, Hangs Over Everyone's Head.

Alcohol Is A Very Necessary Article. It Enables Parliament To Do Things At Eleven At Night That No Sane Person Would Do At Eleven In The Morning.

Life Contains But Two Tragedies. One Is Not To Get Your Heart's Desire; The Other Is To Get It.

People Always Get Tired Of One Another. I Grow Tired Of Myself Whenever I Am Left Alone For Ten Minutes, And I Am Certain That I Am Fonder Of Myself Than Anyone Can Be Of Another Person.

It Is Impossible For An Englishman To Open His Mouth Without Making Some Other Englishman Hate Or Despise Him.

If You Would Stick To The Concrete, And Put Your Discoveries In The Form Of Entertaining Anecdotes About Your Adventures With Women, Your Conversation Would Be Easier To Follow.

An Irishman's Imagination Never Lets Him Alone, Never Convinces Him, Never Satisfies Him; But It Makes Him That He Can't Face Reality Nor Deal With It Nor Handle It Nor Conquer It: He Can Only Sneer At Them That Do, And Be 'agreeable To Strangers', Like A Good-for-nothing Woman On The Streets.

An Actress Is Not A Lady; At Least, When She Is, She Is Not An Actress.

Vivisection Is A Social Evil Because If It Advances Human Knowledge, It Does So At The Expense Of Human Character.

Well, Sir, You Never Can Tell. That's A Principle In Life With Me, Sir, If You'll Excuse My Having Such A Thing.

I Like A State Of Continual Becoming, With A Goal In Front And Not Behind.

Activity Is The Only Road To Knowledge.

It's Not That I'm So Clever, It Is That Others Are So Stupid.

No Question Is So Difficult To Answer As That To Which The Answer Is Obvious.

Questions And Answers

Problem Solving

No Man Can Be A Pure Specialist Without Being In The Strict Sense An Idiot.

Why, Except As A Means Of Livelihood, A Man Should Desire To Act On The Stage When He Has The Whole World To Act In, Is Not Clear To Me.

Gentle Jesus, Meek And Mild' Is A Snivelling Modern Invention, With No Warrant In The Gospels.

As People Get Their Opinions So Largely From The Newspapers They Read... But The Press Is Not Free, The Newspapers Are Owned By Rich Men.

If You Cannot Get Rid Of The Family Skeleton, You May As Well Make It Dance.

The World Is Populated In The Main By People Who Should Not Exist

My Method Is To Take The Utmost Trouble To Find The Right Thing To Say, And Then To Say It With The Utmost Levity.

Public Speaking

Perhaps I Had Better Inform My Protestant Readers That The Famous Dogma Of Papal Infallibility Is By Far The Most Modest Pretension Of The Kind In Existence. Compared With Our Infallible Democracies, Our Infallible Medical Councils, Our Infallible Astronomers, Our Infallible Judges, And Our Infallible Parliaments, The Pope Is On His Knees In The Dust Confessing His Ignorance Before The Throne Of God, Asking Only That As To Certain Historical Matters On Which He Has Clearly More Sources Of Information Open To Him Than Anyone Else His Decision Shall Be Taken As Final.

He Who Bears The Brand Of Cain Shall Rule The Earth.

We Throw The Whole Drudgery Of Creation On One Sex, And Then Imply That No Female Of Any Delicacy Would Initiate Any Effort In That Direction.

Make It A Rule Never To Give A Child A Book You Would Not Read Yourself.

Assasination On The Scaffold Is The Worst Form Of Assasination, Because There It Is Invested With The Approval Of Society.

Better See Rightly On A Pound A Week Than Squint On A Million.

The Liar's Punishment Is Not In The Least That He Is Not Believed, But That He Cannot Believe Anyone Else.

I Am Highly Susceptible To The Force Of All Truly Religious Music, Especially To The Music Of My Own Church, The Church Of Shelley, Michelangelo, And Beethoven.

The Person Who Is Ignorant Enough To Believe That His Nourishment Depends On Meat Is In A Horrible Dilemma.

God Made The World As An Artist And That Is Why The World Must Learn From Its Artists.

Let No One Suppose That The Words Doctor And Patient Can Disguise From The Parties The Fact That They Are Employer And Employee.

Heaven, As Conventionally Conceived, Is A Place So Inane, So Dull, So Useless, So Miserable That Nobody Has Ever Ventured To Describe A Whole Day In Heaven, Though Plenty Of People Have Described A Day At The Seaside.

Home Life Is No More Natural To Us Than A Cage Is Natural To A Cockatoo.

Never Resist Temptation: Prove All Things: Hold Fast That Which Is Good.

Murder And Capital Punishment Are Not Opposites That Cancel One Another, But Similars That Breed Their Kind. It Is The Deed That Teaches Not The Name We Give It.

The Great Danger Of Conversion In All Ages Has Been That When The Religion Of The High Mind Is Offered To The Lower Mind, The Lower Mind, Feeling Its Fascination Without Understanding It, And Being Incapable Of Rising To It, Drags It Down To Its Level By Degrading It.

Unless The People Can Choose Their Leaders And Rulers, And Can Revoke Their Choice At Intervals Long Enough To Test Their Measuresby Results, The Government Will Be A Tyranny Exercised In The Interests Of Whatever Classes Or Castes Or Mobs Or Cliques Have This Choice.

The Educated Man Is A Greater Nuisance Than The Uneducated One.

Animals Are My Friends... And I Don't Eat My Friends.

My Main Reason For Adopting Literature As A Profession Was That, As The Author Is Never Seen By His Clients, He Need Not Dress Respectably.

We Are Compelled By The Theory Of God's Already Achieved Perfection To Make Him A Devil As Well As A God, Because Of The Existenceof Evil. The God Of Love, If Omnipotent And Omniscient, Must Be The God Of Cancer And Epilepsy As Well.... Whoever Admits That Anything Living Is Evil Must Either Believe That God Is Malignantly Capable Of Creating Evil, Or Else Believe That God Has Made Many Mistakes In His Attempts To Make A Perfect Being.

Better Never Than Late.

You Have No Right To Say That I Am Not Sincere. I Have Found A Happiness In Art That Real Life Has Never Given Me. I Am Intensely In Earnest About Art. There Is Is A Magic And Mystery In Art That You Know Nothing Of.

Remember That The Progress Of The World Depends On Your Knowing Better Than Your Elders.

I Do Not Want To Make My Stomach A Graveyard Of Dead Animals.

Hurrah For Revolution And More Cannon-shot! A Beggar Upon Horseback Lashes A Beggar On Foot. Hurrah For Revolution And Cannon Come Again! The Beggars Have Changed Places, But The Lash Goes On.

I Showed My Appreciation Of My Native Land In The Usual Irish Way: By Getting Out Of It As Soon As I Possibly Could.

A Man Learns To Skate By Staggering About And Making A Fool Of Himself. Indeed He Progresses In All Things By Resolutely Making A Fool Of Himself.

Hate Is The Revenge Of A Coward Intimidated.

Wicked People Means People Who Have No Love: Therefore, They Have No Shame. They Have The Power To Ask Love Because The Don't Need It: They Have The Power To Offer It Because They Have None To Give.

You Cannot Learn To Skate Without Making Yourself Ridiculous - The Ice Of Life Is Slippery.

It Is Doubtless Wise, When A Reform Is Introduced, To Try To Persuade The British Public That It Is Not A Reform At All; But Appearances Must Be Kept Up To Some Extent At Least.

The Camera Can Represent Flesh So Superbly That, If I Dared, I Would Never Photograph A Figure Without Asking That Figure To Take Its Clothes Off.

I Can Forgive Alfred Nobel For Having Invented Dynamite, But Only A Fiend In Human Form Could Have Invented The Nobel Prize.

I Am Very Subtle; But Man Is Deeper In His Thought Than I Am. The Woman Knows That There Is No Such Thing As Nothing: The Man Knows That There Is No Such Day As Tomorrow. I Do Well To Worship Them.

In The Arts Of Peace Man Is A Bungler.

What Is Life But A Series Of Inspired Follies? The Difficulty Is To Find Them To Do. Never Lose A Chance: It Doesn’t Come Every Day.

I ... Must Continue To Strive For More Knowledge And More Power, Though The New Knowledge Always Contradicts The Old And The New Power Is The Destruction Of The Fools Who Misuse It.

Choose Silence Of All Virtues, For By It You Hear Other Men's Imperfections, And Conceal Your Own.

It Is Not Enough To Know What Is Good: You Must Be Able To Do It.

An Englishman Does Everything On Principle: He Fights You On Patriotic Principles; He Robs You On Business Principles; He Enslaves You On Imperial Principles.

[chess] Is A Foolish Expedient For Making Idle People Believe They Are Doing Something Very Clever, When They Are Only Wasting Their Time.

We Cut The Throat Of A Calf And Hang It Up By The Heels To Bleed To Death So That Our Veal Cutlet May Be White; We Nail Geese To A Board And Cram Them With Food Because We Like The Taste Of Liver Disease; We Tear Birds To Pieces To Decorate Our Women's Hats; We Mutilate Domestic Animals For No Reason At All Except To Follow An Instinctively Cruel Fashion; And We Connive At The Most Abominable Tortures In The Hope Of Discovering Some Magical Cure For Our Own Diseases By Them.

Hollywood Keeps Before Its Child Audiences A String Of Glorified Young Heroes, Everyone Of Whom Is An Unhesitating And Violent Anarchist. His One Answer To Everything That Annoys Him Or Disparages His Country Or His Parents Or His Young Lady Or His Personal Code Of Manly Conduct Is To Give The Offender A "sock" In The Jaw.... My Observation Leads Me To Believe That It Is Not The Virtuous People Who Are Good At Socking Jaws.

The Secret To Success Is To Offend The Greatest Number Of People.

Congratulations

Power Is The Faculty Or Capacity To Act, The Strength And Potency To Accomplish Something.

Every Man Over Forty Is A Scoundrel.

The Best Way To Get Your Point Across Is To Entertain.

He Never Does A Proper Thing Without Giving An Improper Reason For It.

The Conversion Of A Savage To Christianity Is The Conversion Of Christianity To Savagery.

I Have Never Admitted The Right Of An Elderly Author To Alter The Work Of A Young Author, Even When The Young Author Happens To Be His Former Self.

The Man Who Has Never Made A Mistake Will Never Make Anything Else.

Higgins. Have You No Morals, Man? Doolittle [unabashed] Cant Afford Them, Governor. Neither Could You If You Was As Poor As Me.

Let Not The Right Side Of Your Brain Know What The Left Side Doeth.

A Miracle Is An Event Which Creates Faith. That Is The Purpose And Nature Of Miracles. Frauds Deceive. An Event Which Creates Faith Does Not Deceive: Therefore It Is Not A Fraud, But A Miracle.

You'll Never Have A Quiet World Till You Knock The Patriotism Out Of The Human Race.

An English Army Led By An Irish General: That Might Be A Match For A French Army Led By An Italian General.

Of All The Anti-social Vested Interests The Worst Is The Vested Interest In Ill-health.

When Commenting On The Turmoil And Disorder Of The World, If The Other Planets Are Inhabited, They Must Be Using This Earth As Their Insane Asylum.

It Is The End Of Happiness And The Beginning Of Peace.

You Cannot Be A Hero Without Being A Coward.

All My Life Affection Has Been Showered Upon Me, And Every Forward Step I Have Made Has Been Taken In Spite Of It.

The Universal Regard For Money Is The One Hopeful Fact In Our Civilization.

You Know Well I Couldn't Bear To Live With A Low Common Man After You Two; And It's Wicked And Cruel Of You To Insult Me By Pretending I Could.

You Must All Know Half A Dozen People At Least Who Are No Use In This World, Who Are More Trouble Than They Are Worth. Just Put Them There And Say Sir, Or Madam, Now Will You Be Kind Enough To Justify Your Existence? If You Can't Justify Your Existence, If You're Not Pulling Your Weight In The Social Boat, If You're Not Producing As Much As You Consume Or Perhaps A Little More, Then, Clearly, We Cannot Use The Organizations Of Our Society For The Purpose Of Keeping You Alive, Because Your Life Does Not Benefit Us And It Can't Be Of Very Much Use To Yourself.

Youth, What A Pity To Waste It On The Young.

I Am Enclosing Two Tickets To The First Night Of My New Play; Bring A Friend... If You Have One.

When God Created Man And Woman, He Did Not Take A Patent. That's Why Any Imbecile Has Been Able To Do So Ever Since.

No Severity Of Punishment Deters When Detection Is Uncertain, As It Always Must Be.

Journalists Are Too Poorly Paid In This Country To Know Anything That Is Fit For Publication.

Truth Telling Is Not Compatible With The Defence Of The Realm.

Telling The Truth

If You Strike A Child, Take Care That You Strike It In Anger, Even At The Risk Of Maiming It For Life. A Blow In Cold Blood Neither Can Nor Should Be Forgiven.

Communism, Being The Lay Form Of Catholicism, And Indeed Meaning The Same Thing, Has Never Had Any Lack Of Chaplains.

Altogether Too Many Sheep

The Only Way For A Woman To Provide For Herself Decently Is For Her To Be Good To Some Man That Can Afford To Be Good To Her.

Nobody Can Say A Word Against Greek: It Stamps A Man At Once As An Educated Gentlemen.

The Love Of Economy Is The Root Of All Virtue.

Hegel Was Right When He Said That We Learn From History That Men Never Learn Anything From History.

Criminals Do Not Die By The Hands Of The Law. They Die By The Hands Of Other Men.

At Present There Is Not A Single Credible Established Religion In The World.

My Religion? Well, My Dear, I Am A Millionaire. That Is My Religion.

Power Does Not Corrupt Men; Fools, However, If They Get Into A Position Of Power, Corrupt Power.

Those Who Won't Hesitate To Vivisect, Won't Hesitate To Lie About It As Well.

It Is Dangerous To Be Sincere Unless You Are Also Stupid.

Few People Think More Than Two Or Three Times A Year; I Have Made An International Reputation For Myself By Thinking Once Or Twice A Week.

Beware Of False Knowledge; It Is More Dangerous Than Ignorance.

I Try To Follow His Example, Not To Imitate Him.

The Sound Body Is The Product Of The Sound Mind.

Social Progress Takes Effect Through The Replacement Of All Institutions By New Ones; And Since Every Institution Involves The Recognition Of The Duty Of Conforming To It, Progress Must Involve The Repudiation Of An Established Duty At Every Step.

The Art Of Government Is The Organisation Of Idolatry.

It Is The Highest Creatures Who Take The Longest To Mature, And Are The Most Helpless During Their Immaturity.

All Young Women Begin By Believing They Can Change And Reform The Men They Marry. They Can't.

Well, Upon My Soul! You Are Not Ashamed To Stand There And Confess Yourself A Disgusting Drunkard.

Civilized Society Is One Huge Bourgeoisie: No Nobleman Dares Now Shock His Greengrocer.

All Professions Are Conspiracies Against The Laity.

Where There Is No Knowledge Ignorance Calls Itself Science.

We Are Made Wise Not By The Recollection Of Our Past, But By The Responsibility For Our Future.

It Is Difficult, If Not Impossible, For Most People To Think Otherwise Than In The Fashion Of Their Own Period.

My Schooling Not Only Failed To Teach Me What It Professed To Be Teaching, But Prevented Me From Being Educated To An Extent Which Infuriates Me When I Think Of All I Might Have Learned At Home By Myself.

The English Are Not A Very Spiritual People, So They Invented Cricket To Give Them Some Idea Of Eternity.

It's All That The Young Can Do For The Old, To Shock Them And Keep Them Up To Date.

The More Reasonable A Student Was In Mathematics, The More Unreasonable She Was In The Affairs Of Real Life, Concerning Which Fewtrustworthy Postulates Have Yet Been Ascertained.

Heartbreak Is Life Educating Us.

There Was Only One Virtue, Pugnacity; Only One Vice, Pacifism. That Is An Essential Condition Of War.

A Drama Critic Is A Man Who Leaves No Turn Unstoned.

The Thought Of Two Thousand People Crunching Celery At The Same Time Horrified Me.

What Is Wrong With Priests And Popes Is That Instead Of Being Apostles And Saints, They Are Nothing But Empirics Who Say I Know Instead Of I Am Learning, And Pray For Credulity And Inertia As Wise Men Pray For Skepticism And Activity.

God Help England If She Had No Scots To Think For Her.

Whenever An Obviously Well Founded Statement Is Made In England By A Person Specially Well Acquainted With The Facts, That Unlucky Person Is Instantly And Frantically Contradicted By All The People Who Obviously Know Nothing About It.

You Have Learnt Something. That Always Feels At First As If You Had Lost Something.

I Dislike Feeling At Home When I Am Abroad.

If You Cannot Have What You Believe In You Must Believe In What You Have.

Few Of Us Have Vitality Enough To Make Any Of Our Instincts Imperious.

Some People Look At The World And Say 'why?' Some People Look At The World And Say 'why Not?'

Positive Thinking

A Man's Own Self Is The Last Person To Believe In Him, And Is Harder To Cheat Than The Rest Of The World.

Life Isn't About Finding Yourself. Life Is About Creating Yourself.

Education Can And Should Do Much Influence Social, Moral And Intellectual Discovery By Stimulating Critical Attitudes Of Thought In The Young

Put An Irishman On The Spit And You Can Always Get Another Irishman To Turn Him.

Ireland And The Irish

Oh, The Frontier Of Hell And Heaven Is Only The Difference Between Two Ways Of Looking At Things.

Greatness Is One Of The Sensations Of Littleness

Find Enough Clever Things To Say, And You're A Prime Minister; Write Them Down And You're A Shakespeare.

I Do Not Want Actors And Actresses To Understand My Plays. That Is Not Necessary. If They Will Only Pronounce The Correct Sounds I Can Guarantee The Results.

It Is Well To Be Off With The Old Woman Before You're On With The New.

Use Your Health, Even To The Point Of Wearing It Out. That Is What It Is For. Spend All You Have Before You Die; Do Not Outlive Yourself.

Statistics Show That Of Those Who Contract The Habit Of Eating, Very Few Survive.

Though All Society Is Founded On Intolerance, All Improvement Is Founded On Tolerance.

A Succession Of Eye-openers Each Involving The Repudiation Of Some Previously Held Belief.

When The World Goes Mad, One Must Accept Madness As Sanity; Since Sanity Is, In The Last Analysis, Nothing But The Madness On Which The Whole World Happens To Agree.

Start With The Belief That Your Life Can Indeed Be Changed, And That You Have The Power To Change It.

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