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Well, Sir, You Never Can Tell. That's A Principle In Life With Me, Sir, If You'll Excuse My Having Such A Thing.

-George Bernard Shaw

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Well, Sir, You Never

George Bernard Shaw

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Well, Sir, You Never Can Tell. That's A Principle In Life With Me, Sir, If You'll Excuse My Having Such A Thing.

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All Religions Begin With A Revolt Against Morality, And Perish When Morality Conquers Them.

Few People Think More Than Two Or Three Times A Year; I Have Made An International Reputation For Myself By Thinking Once Or Twice A Week.

Like All Young Men, You Greatly Exaggerate The Difference Between One Young Woman And Another.

What I Say Today Everybody Will Say Tomorrow, Though They Will Not Remember Who Put It Into Their Heads. Indeed They Will Be Right For I Never Remember Who Puts Things Into My Head : It Is The Zeitgeist.

Hollywood Keeps Before Its Child Audiences A String Of Glorified Young Heroes, Everyone Of Whom Is An Unhesitating And Violent Anarchist. His One Answer To Everything That Annoys Him Or Disparages His Country Or His Parents Or His Young Lady Or His Personal Code Of Manly Conduct Is To Give The Offender A "sock" In The Jaw.... My Observation Leads Me To Believe That It Is Not The Virtuous People Who Are Good At Socking Jaws.

What, Or Who, Led You To Take Up Photography, And About What Date ? George Bernard Shaw – I Always Wanted To Draw And Paint. I Had No Literary Ambition. I Aspired To Be A Michelangelo, Not A Shakespeare. But I Could Not Draw Well Enough To Satisfy Myself; And The Instruction I Could Get Was Worse Than Useless. So When Dry Plates And Push Buttons Came Into The Market I Bought A Box Camera And Began Pushing The Button. It Was In 1898.

Marriage Is Tolerable Enough In Its Way If Youre Easygoing And Dont Expect Too Much From It. But It Doesnt Bear Thinking About.

Reformers Have The Idea That Change Can Be Achieved By Brute Sanity.

Every Profession Is A Conspiracy Against The Laity.

Those Who Minister To Poverty And Disease Are Accomplices In The Two Worst Of All The Crimes.

Wise Kings Wear Shabby Clothes, And Leave The Gold Lace To The Drum Major.

When Two People Are Under The Influence Of The Most Violent, Most Insane, Most Delusive, And Most Transient Of Passions, They Are Required To Swear That They Will Remain In That Excited, Abnormal, And Exhausting Condition Continuously Until Death Do Them Part.

You Do Not Settle Whether An Argument Is Justified By Merely Showing That It Is Of Some Use. The Distinction Is Not Between Useful And Useless Experiments But Between Barbarous And Civilized Behaviour. Vivisection Is A Social Evil Because If It Advances Human Knowledge, It Does So At The Expense Of Human Character.

We Are Compelled By The Theory Of God's Already Achieved Perfection To Make Him A Devil As Well As A God, Because Of The Existenceof Evil. The God Of Love, If Omnipotent And Omniscient, Must Be The God Of Cancer And Epilepsy As Well.... Whoever Admits That Anything Living Is Evil Must Either Believe That God Is Malignantly Capable Of Creating Evil, Or Else Believe That God Has Made Many Mistakes In His Attempts To Make A Perfect Being.

I Try To Follow His Example, Not To Imitate Him.

Is The Devil To Have All The Passions As Well As All The Good Tunes?

When You Prevent Me From Doing Anything I Want To Do, That Is Persecution; When I Prevent You From Doing Anything You Want To Do, That Is Law, Order, And Morals.

Now Of All The Idealist Abominations That Make Society Pestiferous I Doubt If There Be Any So Mean As That Of Forcing Self-sacrifice On A Woman Under The Pretense That She Likes It.

The Liar's Punishment Is Not In The Least That He Is Not Believed, But That He Cannot Believe Anyone Else.

I Don't Know What To Say About This Book. The Experience On Which It Is Founded Is So Extraordinary, That An Honest Record Of It Should Be Preserved . . . But It Would Have Driven Me Mad; And I Am Not Sure That The Author Came Out Of It Without A Slight Derangement.

I Have Studied Him - The Wonderful Man - And In My Opinion Far From Being An Anti-christ He Must Be Called The Saviour Of Humanity.

The Art Of Government Is The Organization Of Idolatry. The Bureaucracy Consists Of Functionaries; The Aristocracy, Of Idols; The Democracy, Of Idolaters. The Populace Cannot Understand The Bureaucracy: It Can Only Worship The National Idols.

We Must Not Stay As We Are, Doing Always What Was Done Last Time; Or We Shall Stick In The Mud.

The Greatest Evils And The Worst Of Crimes Is Poverty; Our First Duty, A Duty To Which Every Other Consideration Should Be Sacrificed, Is Not To Be Poor.

It Is Not That I Am So Clever; It Is That Everyone Else Is So Stupid.

Modern Poverty Is Not The Poverty That Was Blest In The Sermon On The Mount.

Sermon On The Mount

Decency Is Indecency's Conspiracy Of Silence

The Test Of Good Education Is Seeing How It Behaves In A Fight.

I Assume That To Prevent Illness In Later Life, You Should Never Have Been Born At All.

There Is Nothing On Earth Intended For Innocent People So Horrible As A School.

The Person Who Is Ignorant Enough To Believe That His Nourishment Depends On Meat Is In A Horrible Dilemma.

Even If Animal Experimentation Was Proved To Be Of Value, It Would Be Morally Wrong.

A Native American Elder Once Described His Own Inner Struggles In This Manner: Inside Of Me There Are Two Dogs. One Of The Dogs Is Mean And Evil. The Other Dog Is Good. The Mean Dog Fights The Good Dog All The Time. When Asked Which Dog Wins, He Reflected For A Moment And Replied, The One I Feed The Most.

It Is The Highest Creatures Who Take The Longest To Mature, And Are The Most Helpless During Their Immaturity.

Nietzche . . . He Was A Confirmed Life Force Worshipper. It Was He Who Raked Up The Superman, Who Is As Old As Prometheus; And The 20th Century Will Run After This Newest Of The Old Crazes When It Gets Tired Of The World, The Flesh, And Your Humble Servant.

Englishmen Never Will Be Slaves; They Are Free To Do Whatever The Government And Public Opinion Allow Them.

It Is Ridiculous To Say That Art Has Nothing To Do With Morality. What Is True Is That The Artist's Business Is Not That Of The Policeman.

[...] Any Fool Can Make A Discovery. Every Baby Has To Discover More In The First Years Of Its Life Than Roger Bacon Ever Discovered In His Laboratory.

A Fool-proof Method For Sculpting An Elephant: First, Get A Huge Block Of Marble; Then You Chip Away Everything That Doesn't Look Like An Elephant.

You Can Always Tell An Old Soldier By The Inside Of His Holsters And Cartridge Boxes. The Young Ones Carry Pistols And Cartridges; The Old Ones, Grub.

All Artists Are Anarchists.

Statistics Show That Of Those Who Contract The Habit Of Eating, Very Few Survive.

A Genius Is A Person Who Is Seeing Further And Probing Deeper Than Other People Has A Different Set Of Ethical Valuations From Their And Has Energy Enough To Give Effect To This Extra Vision And Its Valuations In Whatever Manner Best Suits His Or Her

When Satan Makes Impure Verses, Allah Sends A Divine Tune To Cleanse Them.

The Ideal Love Affair Should Be Conducted By Post.

He Who Confuses Political Liberty With Freedom And Political Equality With Similarity Has Never Thought For Five Minutes About Either.

A Man Who Has No Office To Go, To I Don't Care Who He Is, Is A Trial Of Which You Can Have No Conception.

Money Is A Most Important Thing In The World.

Important Things

Morality Consists Of Suspecting Other People Of Not Being Legally Married.

Hate Is The Revenge Of A Coward Intimidated.

Everybody Who Does Not Live In A Prostitute's Bed And On A Diet Of Cocaine Snow Is Called An Ascetic Nowadays.

A Tranquil Woman Can Go On Sewing Longer Than An Angry Man Can Go On Fuming.

Revolutionary Moments Attract Those Who Are Not Good Enough For Established Institutions As Well As Those Who Are Too Good For Them.

Not Good Enough

How Can You Dare Teach A Man To Read Until You've Taught Him Everything Else First?

I Learned More From The First Stupid Woman Who Fell In Love With Me Than Ever My Brains Taught Me.

Fine Art Is The Subtlest, The Most Seductive, The Most Effective Instrument Of Moral Propaganda In The World, Excepting Only The Example Of Personal Conduct; And I Waive Even This Exception In Favor Of The Art Of The Stage, Because It Works By Exhibiting Examples Of Personal Conduct Made Intelligible And Moving To Crowds Of Unobservant Unreflecting People To Whom Real Life Means Nothing.

A Man Of Great Common Sense And Good Taste - Meaning Thereby A Man Without Originality Or Moral Courage.

The Capacity Of Any Conqueror Is More Likely Than Not To Be An Illusion Produced By The Incapacity Of His Adversary.

Poverty Doesn't Bring Unhappiness; It Brings Degradation.

What Is Self-control? It Is Nothing But A Highly Developed Vital Sense, Dominating And Regulating The Mere Appetites. To Overlook The Very Existence Of This Supreme Sense; To Miss The Obvious Inference That It Is The Quality That Distinguishes The Fittest To Survive.

If The Announcer Can Produce The Impression That He Is A Gentleman, He May Pronounce As He Pleases.

Dancing Is A Perpendicular Expression Of A Horizontal Desire.

What A Man Is Depends On His Character; But What He Does, And What We Think Of What He Does, Depends On His Circumstances.

Instead Of Otello Being An Italian Opera Written In The Style Of Shakespeare, Othello Is A Play Written By Shakespeare In The Style Of Italian Opera.

To Be A Champion You Must Live Like One.

You're Only A Beginner; And What You Think Is Love, And Interest, And All That, Is Not Real Love At All: Three Quarters Of It Is Only Unsatisfied Curiosity.

It's A Dangerous Thing To Be Married Right Up To The Hilt, Like My Daughter's Husband. The Man Is At Home All Day, Like A Damned Soul In Hell.

We Should Find Ourselves Committed To Killing A Great Many People Whom We Now Leave Living, And To Leave Living A Great Many People Whom We At Present Kill. We Should Have To Get Rid Of All Ideas About Capital Punishment.

Though I Can Make My Extravaganzas Appear Credible, I Cannot Make The Truth Appear So.

Life At Its Noblest Leaves Mere Happiness Far Behind; And Indeed Cannot Endure It. Happiness Is Not The Object Of Life: Life Has No Object: It Is An End In Itself; And Courage Consists In The Readiness To Sacrifice Happiness For An Intenser Quality Of Life.

Once There Was A Time When All People Believed In God And The Church Ruled. This Time Is Called The Dark Ages. He Who Can, Does. He Who Cannot Teaches.

People Expect Too Much Of One Year And Too Little Of Ten.

I Really Don't Think I Could Consent To Go To Heaven If I Thought There Were No Animals There.

A Veteran Journalist Has Never Had Time To Think Twice Before He Writes.

Titles Distinguish The Mediocre, Embarrass The Superior, And Are Disgraced By The Inferior.

Life Is Too Short For Men To Take It Seriously.

Rich Men Without Convictions Are More Dangerous In Modern Society Than Poor Women Without Chastity.

A Pessimist Is A Man Who Thinks Everybody Is As Nasty As Himself, And Hates Them For It.

I'm Not A Teacher: Only A Fellow Traveler Of Whom You Asked The Way. I Pointed Ahead - Ahead Of Myself As Well As You.

I Am Very Sorry, But I Cannot Learn Languages. I Have Tried Hard, Only To Find That Men Of Ordinary Capacity Can Learn Sanskrit In Less Time That It Takes Me To Buy A German Dictionary

If You Can’t Appreciate What You’ve Got, You’d Better Get What You Can Appreciate.

Literature Is Like Any Other Trade; You Will Never Sell Anything Unless You Go To The Right Shop.

A Thing That Nobody Believes Cannot Be Proved Too Often.

Do Not Do Unto Others As You Expect They Should Do Unto You. Their Tastes May Not Be The Same.

Until The Men Of Action Clear Out The Talkers We Who Have Social Consciences Are At The Mercy Of Those Who Have None.

Democracy Is A Device That Insures We Shall Be Governed No Better Than We Deserve.

Our Lives Are Shaped Not As Much By Our Experiences As By Our Expectations.

Violence Is The Repartee Of The Illiterate.

Every Drunken Skipper Trusts To Providence. But One Of The Ways Of Providence With Drunken Skippers Is To Run Them On The Rocks.

Unbounded Hopes Were Placed On Each Successive Extension Of The Electoral Franchise, Culminating In The Enfranchisement Of Women.these Hopes Have Been Disappointed, Because The Voters, Male And Female, Being Politically Untrained And Uneducated, Have (a) No Grasp Of Constructive Measures; (b) Loathe Taxation As Such; (c) Dislike Being Governed At All; And (d) Dread And Resent Any Extension Of Official Interference As An Encroachment On Their Personal Liberty.

You Don't Get Tired Of Muffins, But You Don't Find Inspiration In Them.

Science Becomes Dangerous Only When It Imagines That It Has Reached Its Goal.

What Man Really Wishes To Do He Will Find A Means Of Doing.

In Heaven An Angel Is Nobody In Particular.

Beware Of False Knowledge; It Is More Dangerous Than Ignorance.

Beware Of The Man Whose God Is In The Skies.

The Real Pleasure Of One's Life Is The Devotion To A Great Objective Of One's Consideration.

All Dress Is Fancy Dress, Is It Not, Except Our Natural Skins?

Love Is A Gross Exaggeration Of The Difference Between One Person And Everybody Else.

Life Would Be Tolerable But For Its Amusements.

Cruelty Must Be Whitewashed By A Moral Excuse, And Pretense Of Reluctance.

An Idea That No One Believes Can Not Be Proved Too Often.

Ye Poor Posterity, Think Not That Ye Are The First. Other Fools Before Ye Have Seen The Sun Rise And Set, And The Moon Change Her Shape And Her Hour. As They Were So Ye Are; And Yet Not So Great; For The Pyramids My People Built Stand To This Day; Whilst The Dustheaps On Which Ye Slave, And Which Ye Call Empires, Scatter In The Wind Even As Ye Pile Your Dead Sons' Bodies On Them To Make Yet More Dust.

You See Things; And You Say, ‘why?’ But I Dream Things That Never Were; And I Say, ‘why Not?

All Autobiographies Are Lies. I Do Not Mean Unconscious, Unintentional Lies: I Mean Deliberate Lies.

The Indian Way Of Life Provides The Vision Of The Natural, Real Way Of Life. We Veil Ourselves With Unnatural Masks. On The Face Of India Are The Tender Expressions Which Carry The Mark Of The Creators Hand.

If Parents Would Only Realize How They Bore Their Children.

History, Sir, Will Tell Lies As Usual.

Man Gives Every Reason For His Conduct Save One, Every Excuse For His Crimes Save One, Every Plea For His Safety Save One; And That One Is His Cowardice

The Man Who Has Never Made A Mistake Will Never Make Anything Else.

I Love Little Children Too But I Don't Cut Off Their Heads And Stick Them In Vases.

When Commenting On The Turmoil And Disorder Of The World, If The Other Planets Are Inhabited, They Must Be Using This Earth As Their Insane Asylum.

Liberty Is The Breath Of Life To Nations.

Happy Independence Day

I Must ... Warn My Readers That My Attacks Are Directed Against Themselves, Not Against My Stage Figures.

Political Necessities Sometime Turn Out To Be Political Mistakes.

Property Is Organized Robbery.

Success Does Not Consist In Never Making Mistakes But In Never Making The Same One A Second Time.

I Do Not, Like The Fundamentalists, Believe That Creation Stopped Six Thousand Years Ago After A Week Of Hard Work. Creation Is Going On All The Time.

When The World Goes Mad, One Must Accept Madness As Sanity; Since Sanity Is, In The Last Analysis, Nothing But The Madness On Which The Whole World Happens To Agree.

The Seven Deadly Sins... Food, Clothing, Firing, Rent, Taxes, Respectability And Children. Nothing Can Lift Those Seven Millstones From Man's Neck But Money; And The Spirit Cannot Soar Until The Millstones Are Lifted.

I Sing, Not Arms And The Hero, But The Philosophic Man: He Who Seeks In Contemplation To Discover The Inner Will Of The World, Ininvention To Discover The Means Of Fulfilling That Will, And In Action To Do That Will By The So-discovered Means.

Power Does Not Corrupt Men; Fools, However, If They Get Into A Position Of Power, Corrupt Power.

I Don't Believe In Morality . I'm A Disciple Of Bernard Shaw.

Man Is Unique In That He Has Plans, Purpose And Goals Which Require The Need For Criteria Of Choice. The Need For Ethical Value Is Within Man Whose Future May Largely Be Determined By The Choice He Make

A Mind Of The Caliber Of Mine Cannot Derive Its Nutrient From Cows.

Seemingly Unreasonable People Attempt To Adapt The World To Themselves. Much Progress, Therefore, Depends On Such People.

I Enjoy Convalescence. It Is The Part That Makes The Illness Worth While.

While Browsing In A Second-hand Bookshop One Day, George Bernard Shaw Was Amused To Find A Copy Of One Of His Own Works Which He Himself Had Inscribed For A Friend: "to ----, With Esteem, George Bernard Shaw." He Immediately Purchased The Book And Returned It To The Friend With A Second Inscription: "with Renewed Esteem, George Bernard Shaw.

But To Admire A Strong Person And To Live Under That Strong Person’s Thumb Are Two Different Things.

The Only Power A God Can Teach Is The Power Of Doing Without Happiness.

Telling The Truth Is The Funniest Joke In The World.

Telling The Truth

A Man's Own Self Is The Last Person To Believe In Him, And Is Harder To Cheat Than The Rest Of The World.

Leisure May Be Defined As Free Activity, Labor As Compulsory Activity. Leisure Does What It Likes, Labor Does What It Must, The Compulsion Being That Of Nature, Which In These Latitudes Leaves Men No Choice Between Labor And Starvation.

A Love Affair Should Always Be A Honeymoon. And The Only Way To Make Sure Of That Is To Keep Changing The Man; For The Same Man Can Never Keep It Up.

The Philosopher Is Nature's Pilot.

The Love Of Economy Is The Root Of All Virtue.

In A Living Society Every Day Is A Day Of Judgment; And Its Recognition As Such Is Not The End Of All Things But The Beginning Ofa Real Civilization.

Peace Is Not Only Better Than War, But Infinitely More Arduous.

With The Single Exception Of Homer, There Is No Eminent Writer, Not Even Sir Walter Scott, Whom I Can Despise So Entirely As I Despise Shakespeare When I Measure My Mind Against His. . . . It Would Positively Be A Relief To Me To Dig Him Up And Throw Stones At Him.

I Learned Long Ago, Never To Wrestle With A Pig. You Get Dirty, And Besides, The Pig Likes It.

To Endure The Pain Of Living, We All Drug Ourselves More Or Less With Gin, With Literature, With Superstitions, With Romance, With Idealism, Political, Sentimental, And Moral, With Every Possible Preparation Of That Universal Hashish: Imagination.

A Broken Heart Is A Very Pleasant Complaint For A Man In London If He Has A Comfortable Income.

Nothing Remains Beautiful And Interesting Except Thought, Because The Thought Is The Life.

Perhaps The Greatest Social Service That Can Be Rendered By Anybody To The Country And To Mankind Is To Bring Up A Family.

It Is Said That Every People Has The Government It Deserves. It Is More To The Point That Every Government Has The Electorate It Deserves; For The Orator Of The Front Bench Can Edify Or Debauch An Ignorant Electorate At Will.

In A Hospital They Throw You Out Into The Street Before You Are Half Cured, But In A Nursing Home They Don't Let You Out Till You Are Dead.

What Is The Matter With The Rich Is Uselessness.

Riches And Poors

The More Things A Man Is Ashamed Of, The More Respectable He Is.

The Roulette Table Pays Nobody Except Him That Keeps It. Nevertheless A Passion For Gaming Is Common, Though A Passion For Keeping Roulette Tables Is Unknown.

The Worst Sin... Is... To Be Indifferent.

There Is No Satisfaction In Hanging A Man Who Does Not Object To It.

Self-denial Is Not A Virtue; It Is Only The Effect Of Prudence On Rascality.

There Is Nothing That Can Be Changed More Completely Than Human Nature When The Job Is Taken In Hand Early Enough.

You Know Well I Couldn't Bear To Live With A Low Common Man After You Two; And It's Wicked And Cruel Of You To Insult Me By Pretending I Could.

I've Posed Nude For A Photographer In The Manner Of Rodin's Thinker, But I Merely Looked Constipated.

I Don't. I Look My Age; And I Am My Age. It Is The Other People Who Look Older Than They Are. What Can You Expect From People Who Eat Corpses And Drink Spirits?

No Community Has Ever Yet Passed Beyond The Initial Phases In Which Its Pugnacity And Fanaticism Enabled It To Found A Nation, And Its Cupidity To Establish And Develop A Commercial Civilization.

You Use A Glass Mirror To See Your Face; You Use Works Of Art To See Your Soul.

The Notion That Disarmament Can Put A Stop To War Is Contradicted By The Nearest Dogfight.

When We Want To Read Of The Deeds That Are Done For Love, Whither Do We Turn? To The Murder Column.

Religion Is A Great Force - The Only Real Motive Force In The World; But What You Fellows Don't Understand Is That You Must Get At A Man Through His Own Religion And Not Through Yours.

Am Reserving Two Tickets For You For My Premiere. Come And Bring A Friend - If You Have One. Telegram Inviting Winston Churchill To Opening Night Of Pygmalion. Churchill Wired Back: Impossible To Be Present For The First Performance. Will Attend The Second - If There Is One.

I Dread Success. To Have Succeeded Is To Have Finished One's Business On Earth, Like The Male Spider Who Is Killed By The Female The Moment He Has Succeeded In His Courtship. I Like The State Of Continual Becoming, With A Goal In Front And Not Behind.

He Who Has Never Hoped Can Never Despair

Optimistic Lies Have Such Immense Therapeutic Value That A Doctor Who Cannot Tell Them Convincingly Has Mistaken His Profession.

Marx's Kapital Is Not A Treatise On Socialism; It Is A Gerrymand Against The Bourgeoisie. It Was Supposed To Be Written For The Working Class, But The Working Man Respects The Bourgeoisie And Wants To Be A Bourgeoisie. Marx Never Got A Hold Of Him For A Moment. It Was The Revolting Sons Of The Bourgeoisie Itself, Like Myself, That Painted The Flag Red. The Middle And Upper Classes Are The Revolutionary Element In Society. The Proletariat Is The Conservative Element.

Defeatism Is The Wretchedest Of Policies.

If More Than 10% Of The People Like A Painting, You Can Be Sure It's Bad.

Christianity As A Specific Doctrine Was Slain With Jesus, Suddenly And Utterly. He Was Hardly Cold In His Grave, Or High In His Heaven (as You Please), Before The Apostles Dragged The Tradition Of Him Down To The Level Of The Thing It Has Remained Ever Since.

Who Are Those We Love? Only Those We Do Not Hate.

Style Is Effectiveness Of Assertion.

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It. They Spell It So Abominably That No Man Can Teach Himself What It Soundslike.it Isimpossible Foran Englishmanto Openhis Mouth Without Making Some Other Englishman Hate Or Despise Him.

Every Man Over Forty Is A Scoundrel.

Patriotism Is Your Conviction That This Country Is Superior To All Others Because You Were Born In It.

There Are Two Things Necessary To Salvation.... Money And Gunpowder.

No Man Ever Believes That The Bible Means What It Says: He Is Always Convinced That It Says What He Means.

Nobody Can Live In Society Without Conventions. The Reason Why Sensible People Are As Conventional As They Can Bear To Be Is That Conventionality Saves So Much Time And Thought And Trouble And Social Friction Of One Sort Or Another That It Leaves Them Much More Leisure Time For Freedom Than Unconventionality Does.

I Must Have Been An Insufferable Child; All Children Are.

The Wheels Are Turning, But The Hamsters Are All Dead. Make It Idiot-proof And Someone Will Make A Better Idiot. I Learned Long Ago, Never To Wrestle With A Pig, You Get Dirty; And Besides, The Pig Likes It.

The Trouble With Her Is That She Lacks The Power Of Conversation But Not The Power Of Speech.

My Heart, My Heart, Be Whole And Free: Love Is Thine Only Enemy.

The Epithet Beautiful Is Used By Surgeons To Describe Operations Which Their Patients Describe As Ghastly, By Physicists To Describe Methods Of Measurement Which Leave Sentimentalists Cold, By Lawyers To Describe Cases Which Ruin All The Parties To Them, And By Lovers To Describe The Objects Of Their Infatuation, However Unattractive They May Appear To The Unaffected Spectators.

If Pity Is Akin To Love, Gratitude Is Akin To The Other Thing.

When A Man Wants To Murder A Tiger He Calls It Sport; When A Tiger Wants To Murder Him He Calls It Ferocity.

The Sound Body Is The Product Of The Sound Mind.

Napoleon: What Shall We Do With This Soldier, Giuseppe? Everything He Says Is Wrong. Giuseppe: Make Him A General, Excellency, And Then Everything He Says Will Be Right.

If I Refuse To Allow My Leg To Be Amputated, Its Mortification And My Death May Prove That I Was Wrong; But If I Let The Leg Go, Nobody Can Ever Prove That It Would Not Have Mortified Had I Been Obstinate. Operation Is Therefore The Safe Side For The Surgeon As Well As The Lucrative Side.

All The Sweetness Of Religion Is Conveyed To The World By The Hands Of Storytellers And Image-makers. Without Their Fictions The Truths Of Religion Would For The Multitude Be Neither Intelligible Nor Even Apprehensible; And The Prophets Would Prophesy And The Teachers Teach In Vain.

When God Created Man And Woman, He Did Not Take A Patent. That's Why Any Imbecile Has Been Able To Do So Ever Since.

God Is On The Side Of The Big Battalions.

Our Necessities Are Few, But Our Wants Are Endless.

When The Master Has Come To Do Everything Through The Slave, The Slave Becomes His Master, Since He Cannot Live Without Him.

Morals Are A Luxury Of The Rich.

The Technical History Of Modern Harmony Is A History Of Growth Of Toleration By The Human Ear Of Chords That At First Sounded Discordant And Senseless To The Main Body Of Contemporary Professional Musicians.

I Would Exchange Every Painting Of Christ For One Snapshot.

Parentage Is A Very Important Profession, But No Test Of Fitness For It Is Ever Imposed In The Interest Of The Children.

Justice Is Impartiality. Only Strangers Are Impartial.

There Is A Disease To Which Plays As Well As Men Become Liable With Advancing Years. In Men It Is Called Doting, In Plays Dating.the More Topical The Play The More It Dates.

You Propound A Complicated Arithmetical Problem: Say Cubing A Number Containing Four Digits. Give Me A Slate And Half An Hour's Time, And I Can Produce A Wrong Answer.

Plato Long Ago Pointed Out The Importance Of Being Governed By Men With Sufficient Sense Of Responsibility And Comprehension Of Public Duties To Be Very Reluctant To Undertake The Work Of Governing.

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