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I Don't Know What To Say About This Book. The Experience On Which It Is Founded Is So Extraordinary, That An Honest Record Of It Should Be Preserved . . . But It Would Have Driven Me Mad; And I Am Not Sure That The Author Came Out Of It Without A Slight Derangement.

-George Bernard Shaw

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I Don't Know What

George Bernard Shaw

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I Don't Know What To Say About This Book. The Experience On Which It Is Founded Is So Extraordinary, That An Honest Record Of It Should Be Preserved . . . But It Would Have Driven Me Mad; And I Am Not Sure That The Author Came Out Of It Without A Slight Derangement.

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There Is Nothing In Religion But Fiction.

People Always Get Tired Of One Another. I Grow Tired Of Myself Whenever I Am Left Alone For Ten Minutes, And I Am Certain That I Am Fonder Of Myself Than Anyone Can Be Of Another Person.

Imprisonment Is As Irrevocable As Death.

It Is The Mark Of A Truly Intelligent Person To Be Moved By Statistics.

[chess] Is A Foolish Expedient For Making Idle People Believe They Are Doing Something Very Clever, When They Are Only Wasting Their Time.

Morality Consists Of Suspecting Other People Of Not Being Legally Married.

The Test To Which All Methods Of Treatment Are Finally Brought Is Whether They Are Lucrative To Doctors Or Not.

Marriage Is Popular Because It Combines The Maximum Of Temptation With The Maximum Of Opportunity.

Life Is No Brief Candle To Me. It Is A Sort Of Splendid Torch Which I Have Got A Hold Of For The Moment, And I Want To Make It Burn As Brightly As Possible Before Handing It On To Future Generations.

The Function Of Comedy Is To Dispelunconsciousness By Turning The Searchlight Of The Keenest Moral And Intellectual Analysisright On To It.

For The Pre-darwinian Age Had Come To Be Regarded As A Dark Age In Which Men Still Believed That The Book Of Genesis Was A Standard Scientific Treatise, And That The Only Additions To It Were Galileo'a Demonstration Of Leonardo Da Vinci's Simple Remark That The Earth Is A Moon Of The Sun, Sir Humphrey Davy's Invention Of The Safety Lamp, The Discovery Of Electricity, The Application Of Steam To Industrial Purposes, And The Penny Post.

A Man Who Has No Office To Go, To I Don't Care Who He Is, Is A Trial Of Which You Can Have No Conception.

I Am A Christian. That Obliges Me To Be A Communist.

No Question Is So Difficult To Answer As That To Which The Answer Is Obvious.

Questions And Answers

Problem Solving

A Love Affair Should Always Be A Honeymoon. And The Only Way To Make Sure Of That Is To Keep Changing The Man; For The Same Man Can Never Keep It Up.

Life On Board A Pleasure Steamer Violates Every Moral And Physical Condition Of Healthy Life Except Fresh Air. . . . It Is A Guzzling, Lounging, Gambling, Dog's Life. The Only Alternative To Excitement Is Irritability.

It's Prudent To Gain The Whole World And Lose Your Own Soul. But Don't Forget That Your Soul Sticks To You If You Stick To It; But The World Has A Way Of Slipping Through Your Fingers.

No Community Has Ever Yet Passed Beyond The Initial Phases In Which Its Pugnacity And Fanaticism Enabled It To Found A Nation, And Its Cupidity To Establish And Develop A Commercial Civilization.

I Occasionally Swank A Little Because People Like It; A Modest Man Is Such A Nuisance.

Brains Are Not Everything.

Napoleon: What Shall We Do With This Soldier, Giuseppe? Everything He Says Is Wrong. Giuseppe: Make Him A General, Excellency, And Then Everything He Says Will Be Right.

Power Does Not Corrupt Men; Fools, However, If They Get Into A Position Of Power, Corrupt Power.

I'm Only A Beer Teetotaler, Not A Champagne Teetotaler; I Don't Like Beer.

Reasonable Men Adapt Themselves To Their Environment; Unreasonable Men Try To Adapt Their Environment To Themselves. Thus All Progress Is The Result Of The Efforts Of Unreasonable Men.

The Faults Of The Burglar Are The Qualities Of The Financier.

The Most Tragic Thing In The World Is A Man Of Genius Who Is Not A Man Of Honor.

Unless The Law Of Marriage Were First Made Human, It Could Never Become Divine.

You Have Nothing To Do But Mention The Quantum Theory, And People Will Take Your Voice For The Voice Of Science, And Belive Anything.

Changeable Women Are More Endurable That Monotonous Ones; They Are Sometimes Murdered But Never Deserted.

Consistency Is The Enemy Of Enterprise, Just As Symmetry Is The Enemy Of Art.

The Great Secret, Eliza, Is Not Having Bad Manners Or Good Manners Or Any Other Particular Sort Of Manners, But Having The Same Manner For All Human Souls: In Short, Behaving As If You Were In Heaven, Where There Are No Thirdclass Carriages, And One Soul Is As Good As Another.

The Real Brahms Is Nothing More Than A Sentimental Voluptuary. Rather Tiresomely Addicted To Dressing Himself Up As Handel Or Beethoven And Making A Prolonged And Intolerable Noise.

England And America Are Two Countries Separated By The Same Language.

Custom Will Reconcile People To Any Atrocity, And Fashion Will Drive Them To Acquire Any Custom.

We Must Always Think About Things, And We Must Think About Things As They Are, Not As They Are Said To Be.

Democracy Means The Organization Of Society For The Benefit And At The Expense Of Everybody Indiscriminately And Not For The Benefit Of A Privileged Class.

Those Who Understand Evil Pardon It.

There Is A Disease To Which Plays As Well As Men Become Liable With Advancing Years. In Men It Is Called Doting, In Plays Dating.the More Topical The Play The More It Dates.

Never Repeat Old Grievances.

Now That We Have Learned To Fly The Air Like Birds, Swim Under Water Like Fish, We Lack One Thing - To Learn To Live On Earth As Human Beings.

I Don't Know What To Say About This Book. The Experience On Which It Is Founded Is So Extraordinary, That An Honest Record Of It Should Be Preserved . . . But It Would Have Driven Me Mad; And I Am Not Sure That The Author Came Out Of It Without A Slight Derangement.

When Asked Which Dog Wins, He Reflected For A Moment And Replied, "the One I Feed The Most."

Native American

A Cigarette Is A Pinch Of Tobacco Rolled In Paper With Fire At One End And A Fool At The Other.

In Gambling The Many Must Lose In Order That The Few May Win.

A Dinner! How Horrible! I Am To Be Made The Pretext For Killing All Those Wretched Animals And Birds, And Fish! Thank You For Nothing. Now If It Were To Be A Fast Instead Of A Feast; Say A Solemn Three Days' Abstention From Corpses In My Honour, I Could At Least Pretend To Believe That It Was Disinterested. Blood Sacrifices Are Not In My Line

Of The Three Official Objects Of Our Prison System: Vengeance, Deterrence, And Reformation Of The Criminal, Only One Is Achieved; And That Is The One Which Is Nakedly Abominable.

Reformers Have The Idea That Change Can Be Achieved By Brute Sanity.

When Your Eyes Are Fixed In The Stare Of Unconsciousness, And Your Throat Coughs The Last Gasping Breath - As One Dragged In The Dark To A Great Precipice - What Assistance Are A Wife And Child?

Marriage Is Tolerable Enough In Its Way If Youre Easygoing And Dont Expect Too Much From It. But It Doesnt Bear Thinking About.

Nietzche . . . He Was A Confirmed Life Force Worshipper. It Was He Who Raked Up The Superman, Who Is As Old As Prometheus; And The 20th Century Will Run After This Newest Of The Old Crazes When It Gets Tired Of The World, The Flesh, And Your Humble Servant.

The Harder I Work The More I Live.

Whisky Is Liquid Sunshine.

Life Is Too Short For Men To Take It Seriously.

If Parents Would Only Realize How They Bore Their Children.

It's Just As Unpleasant To Get More Than You Bargain For As To Get Less.

The Person Who Is Ignorant Enough To Believe That His Nourishment Depends On Meat Is In A Horrible Dilemma.

Jesus Remains Unshaken As The Practical Man; And We Stand Exposed As The Fools, The Blunderers, The Unpractical Visionaries.

The 100% American Is 99% Idiot.

Hurrah For Revolution And More Cannon-shot! A Beggar Upon Horseback Lashes A Beggar On Foot. Hurrah For Revolution And Cannon Come Again! The Beggars Have Changed Places, But The Lash Goes On.

We Must Reform Society Before We Can Reform Ourselves.

Marriage Is An Alliance Entered Into By A Man Who Can't Sleep With The Window Shut, And A Woman Who Can't Sleep With The Window Open.

Telling The Truth Is The Funniest Joke In The World.

Telling The Truth

Never Fret For An Only Son, The Idea Of Failure Will Never Occur To Him.

It Is Always Necessary To Overstate A Cast Startlingly To Make People Sit Up And Listen To It, And To Frighten Them Into Acting On It.

A Lifetime Of Happiness! No Man Alive Could Bear It: It Would Be Hell On Earth.

What Is Both Surprising And Delightful Is That The Spectators Are Allowed, And Even Expected, To Join In The Vocal Part Of The Game...there Is No Reason Why The Field Should Not Try To Put The Batsman Off His Stroke At The Critical Moment By Neatly Timed Disparagements Of His Wife's Fidelity And His Mother's Respectability.

It's So Hard To Know What To Do When One Wishes Earnestly To Do Right.

I Do Not Know What I Think Until I Write It.

Freedom, My Good Girl, Means Being Able To Count On How Other People Will Behave.

God Made The World As An Artist And That Is Why The World Must Learn From Its Artists.

The Right To Know Is Like The Right To Live. It Is Fundamental And Unconditional In Its Assumption That Knowledge, Like Life, Is A Desirable Thing.

I Want To Be All Used Up When I Die.

Brigham Young Lived To Become Immortal In History As An American Moses By Leading His People Through The Wilderness Into An Unpromised Land.

I Have My Own Soul. My Own Spark Of Divine Fire.

A Married Man Is A Man With A Past, While A Bachelor Is A Man With A Future.

The British Soldier Can Stand Up To Anything Except The British War Office.

British Soldiers

Even A Vortex Is A Vortex In Something. You Can't Have A Whirlpool Without Water; And You Can't Have A Vortex Without Gas, Or Molecules Or Atoms Or Ions Or Electrons Or Something, Not Nothing.

The Quality Of A Play Is The Quality Of Its Ideas.

Start With The Belief That Your Life Can Indeed Be Changed, And That You Have The Power To Change It.

Hate Is The Revenge Of A Coward Intimidated.

The World Was To Shakespeare A Great Stage Of Fools On Which He Was Utterly Bewildered. His Pregnant Observations Of Life Are Not Coordinated Into Any Philosophy.

A Gentleman Is One Who Puts More Into The World Than He Takes Out.

Personal Growth

My Heart, My Heart, Be Whole And Free: Love Is Thine Only Enemy.

I Fought Linotype And Montype For Some Time Because It Would Not Justify As Well As Handset Could Be Made To Do; But At Last, As Always Happens, The Machine Outdid The Hand, And Got All The Best Types On It.

We Are The Living Graves Of Murdered Beasts, Slaughtered To Satisfy Our Appetites. How Can We Hope In This World To Attain The Peace We Say We Are So Anxious For?

Vegetarian Diet

The Great Danger Of Conversion In All Ages Has Been That When The Religion Of The High Mind Is Offered To The Lower Mind, The Lower Mind, Feeling Its Fascination Without Understanding It, And Being Incapable Of Rising To It, Drags It Down To Its Level By Degrading It.

The Difference Between A Lady And A Flower Girl Is Not How She Behaves, But How She’s Treated.

We Must Not Stay As We Are, Doing Always What Was Done Last Time, Or We Shall Stick In The Mud. Yet Neither Must We Undertake A New World As Catastrophic Utopians, And Wreck Our Civilization In Our Hurry To Mend It.

Where There Is No Religion, Hypocrisy Becomes Good Taste.

Thus, I Blush To Add, You Can Not Be A Philosopher And A Good Man, Though You May Be A Philosopher And A Great One.

This Is My Father. Try What You Can With Him! He Won't Listen To Me, Because He Remembers What A Fool I Was When I Was A Baby.

Crime Is Only The Retail Department Of What, In Wholesale, We Call Penal Law.

First Really Like Is Just A Little Bit Foolishness As Well As A Lot Of Curiosity. No Actually Self-respecting Girl Would Reap The Benefits Of It.

A True Artist Will Let His Wife Starve, His Children Go Barefoot, His Mother Drudge For His Living At Seventy, Sooner Than Work At Anything But His Art.

The Only Person Who Acts Sensibly Is My Tailor. He Takes My Measure Anew Every Time He Sees Me. Everyone Else Goes By Their Old Measurements.

The Theory That Music Has A Depraving Effect On Morals Has Now Been Abandoned To The Old Women Of Both Sexes.

Though The Life Force Supplies Us With Its Own Purpose, It Has No Other Brains To Work With Than Those It Has Painfully And Imperfectly Evolved In Our Heads.

The Criminal Law Is No Use To Decent People.

I Finished My First Book Seventy-six Years Ago. I Offered It To Every Publisher On The English-speaking Earth I Had Ever Heard Of. Their Refusals Were Unanimous: And It Did Not Get Into Print Until, Fifty Years Later; Publishers Would Publish Anything That Had My Name On It.

I Prefer The Man Who Calls His Nonsense A Mystery To Him Who Who Pretends It Is A Weighed, Measured, Analyzed Fact.

Take Care To Get What You Like Or You Will Be Forced To Like What You Get.

Ireland And The Irish

Nothing Is Ever Accomplished By A Reasonable Man.

Revolutions Have Never Lightened The Burden Of Tyranny; They Have Only Shifted It To Another Shoulder.

A Miracle Is An Event Which Creates Faith. That Is The Purpose And Nature Of Miracles. Frauds Deceive. An Event Which Creates Faith Does Not Deceive: Therefore It Is Not A Fraud, But A Miracle.

I Have Never Thought Much Of The Courage Of A Lion Tamer. Inside The Cage He Is At Least Safe From Other Men. There Is Not Much Harm In A Lion. He Has No Ideals, No Religion, No Politics, No Chivalry, No Gentility; In Short, No Reason For Destroying Anything That He Does Not Want To Eat

Most People Do Not Pray; They Only Beg.

You're Only A Beginner; And What You Think Is Love, And Interest, And All That, Is Not Real Love At All: Three Quarters Of It Is Only Unsatisfied Curiosity.

Vegetarians Claim To Be Immune From Most Diseases But They Have Been Known To Die From Time To Time.

Nothing Can Save Us From A Perpetual Headlong Fall Into A Bottomless Abyss But A Solid Footing Of Dogma; And We No Sooner Agree To That Than We Find That The Only Trustworthy Dogma Is That There Is No Dogma.

Our Necessities Are Few, But Our Wants Are Endless.

A Thing That Nobody Believes Cannot Be Proved Too Often.

I Work As My Father Drank.

We Must Not Stay As We Are, Doing Always What Was Done Last Time; Or We Shall Stick In The Mud.

Whenever An Obviously Well Founded Statement Is Made In England By A Person Specially Well Acquainted With The Facts, That Unlucky Person Is Instantly And Frantically Contradicted By All The People Who Obviously Know Nothing About It.

Whether You Think Jesus Was God Or Not, You Must Admit He Was A First-rate Political Economist.

God Is On The Side Of The Big Battalions.

The People Who Get On In This World Are The People Who Get Up And Look For The Circumstances They Want And If They Can't Find Them, Make Them.

The Problem With The Press Is That They Can't Tell The Difference Between A Bicycle Crash And The End Of Civilization.

There Are Two Things Necessary To Salvation.... Money And Gunpowder.

No Child Should Be Brought Up To Suppose That Its Food And Clothes Come Down From Heaven Or Are Miraculously Conjured From Empty Space By Papa. Loathsome As We Have Made The Idea Of Duty (like The Idea Of Work) We Must Habituate Children To A Sense Of Repayable Obligation To The Community For What They Consume And Enjoy, And Inculcate The Repayment As A Point Of Honor.

Stop Being Jews And Start Being Human Beings.

All Progress Means War With Society.

Progress Of Society

When It Comes To The Point, Really Bad Men Are Just As Rare As Really Good Ones.

It Is Ridiculous To Say That Art Has Nothing To Do With Morality. What Is True Is That The Artist's Business Is Not That Of The Policeman.

There Is No Subject On Which More Dangerous Nonsense Is Talked And Thought Than Marriage.

We Live In An Atmosphere Of Shame. We Are Ashamed Of Everything That Is Real About Us; Ashamed Of Ourselves, Of Our Relatives, Of Our Incomes, Of Our Accents, Of Our Opinions, Of Our Experience, Just As We Are Ashamed Of Our Naked Skins.

As People Get Their Opinions So Largely From The Newspapers They Read, The Corruption Of The Schools Would Not Matter So Much If The Press Were Free. But The Press Is Not Free. As It Costs At Least A Quarter Of A Million Of Money To Establish A Daily Newspaper In London, The Newspapers Are Owned By Rich Men. And They Depend On The Advertisements Of Other Rich Men. Editors And Journalists Who Express Opinions In Print That Are Opposed To The Interests Of The Rich Are Dismissed And Replaced By Subservient Ones.

No Diet Will Remove All The Fat From Your Body Because The Brain Is Entirely Fat. Without A Brain, You Might Look Good, But All You Could Do Is Run For Public Office.

There Is No Accomplishment So Easy To Acquire As Politeness And None More Profitable.

Men Are Wise In Proportion, Not To Their Experience, But To Their Capacity For Experience.

Those Who Admire Modern Civilization Usually Identify It With The Steam Engine And The Electric Telegraph.

Wicked People Means People Who Have No Love: Therefore, They Have No Shame. They Have The Power To Ask Love Because The Don't Need It: They Have The Power To Offer It Because They Have None To Give.

A Miracle, My Friend, Is An Event Which Creates Faith.

Clever And Attractive Women Do Not Want To Vote; They Are Willing To Let Men Govern As Long As They Govern Men.

All Professions Are Conspiracies Against The Laity.

It Exasperated Her To Think That The Dungeon In Which She Had Languished For So Many Unhappy Years Had Been Unlocked All The Time, And That The Impulses She Had So Carefully Struggled With And Stifled For The Sake Of Keeping Well With Society, Were Precisely Those By Which Alone She Could Have Come Into Any Sort Of Sincere Human Contact.

The Ideal Love Affair Should Be Conducted By Post.

When Satan Makes Impure Verses, Allah Sends A Divine Tune To Cleanse Them.

I Never Thought Much Of The Courage Of A Lion Tamer. Inside The Cage He Is At Least Safe From People.

Reading Made Don Quixote A Gentleman, But Believing What He Read Made Him Mad.

Beware Of The Man Whose God Is In The Skies.

The Seven Deadly Sins... Food, Clothing, Firing, Rent, Taxes, Respectability And Children. Nothing Can Lift Those Seven Millstones From Man's Neck But Money; And The Spirit Cannot Soar Until The Millstones Are Lifted.

If You Must Hold Yourself Up To Your Children As An Object Lesson, Hold Yourself Up As A Warning And Not As An Example.

Where Equality Is Undisputed, So Also Is Subordination.

You Will Think Less Of The Art, When You Know The Artist

Nothing Makes A Man So Selfish As Work.

That Older And Greater Church To Which I Belong: The Church Where The Oftener You Laugh The Better, Because By Laughter Only Can You Destroy Evil Without Malice

I Appeal To The Chemists To Discover A Humane Gas That Will Kill Instantly And Painlessly. In Short- A Gentlemanly Gas Deadly By All Means, But Humane, Not Cruel.

You Are All Alike, You Respectable People. You Can't Tell Me The Bursting Strain Of A Ten-inch Gun, Which Is A Very Simple Matter;but You All Think You Can Tell Me The Bursting Strain Of A Man Under Temptation. You Daren't Handle High Explosives; But You're All Ready To Handle Honesty And Truth And Justice And The Whole Duty Of Man, And Kill One Another At That Game. What A Country! What A World!

If You Injure Your Neighbour, Better Not Do It By Halves.

The Churches Must Learn Humility As Well As Teach It.

I Was Always Unlawful; I Broke The Law When I Was Born Because My Parents Weren't Married.

The Roulette Table Pays Nobody Except Him That Keeps It. Nevertheless A Passion For Gaming Is Common, Though A Passion For Keeping Roulette Tables Is Unknown.

Of All Human Struggles There Is None So Treacherous And Remorseless As The Struggle Between The Artist Man And The Mother Woman.

What Is The Matter With Universities Is That The Students Are School Children, Whereas It Is Of The Very Essence Of University Education That They Should Be Adults.

The Real Brahms Is Nothing More Than A Sentimental Voluptuary

What Is Really Important In Man Is The Part Of Him That We Do Not Understand. Of Much Of It We Are Not Even Conscious, Just As We Are Not Normally Conscious Of Keeping Up Our Circulation By Our Heart-pump, Though If We Neglect It We Die.

What The World Calls Originality Is Only An Unaccustomed Method Of Tickling It.

He Who Has Nothing To Assert Has No Style And Can Have None: He Who Has Something To Assert Will Go As Far In Power Of Style As Its Momentousness And His Conviction Will Carry Him

The Stock Actor Is A Stage Calamity

Youth, Which Is Forgiven Everything, Forgives Itself Nothing: Age, Which Forgives Itself Everything, Is Forgiven Nothing.

It Is Courage, Courage, Courage, That Raises The Blood Of Life To Crimson Splendor.

When A Prisoner Sees The Door Of His Dungeon Open, He Dashes For It Without Stopping To Think Where He Shall Get His Dinner Outside.

The Man With A Toothache Thinks Everyone Happy Whose Teeth Are Sound. The Poverty-stricken Man Makes The Same Mistake About The Rich Man.

The Philosopher Is Nature's Pilot.

Idiots Are Always In Favour Of Inequality Of Income (their Only Chance Of Eminence), And The Really Great In Favour Of Equality.

Nationalism Must Now Be Added To The Refuse Pile Of Superstitions. We Are Now Citizens Of The World, And The Man Who Divides The Race Into Elect Irishmen And Reprobate Foreign Devils (especially Englishmen) Had Better Live On The Blaskets Where He Can Admire Himself Without Disturbance.

The English Have No Respect For Their Language, And Will Not Teach Their Children To Speak It. They Spell It So Abominably That No Man Can Teach Himself What It Soundslike.it Isimpossible Foran Englishmanto Openhis Mouth Without Making Some Other Englishman Hate Or Despise Him.

Give Women The Vote, And In Five Years There Will Be A Crushing Tax On Bachelors.

All Government Is Cruel; For Nothing Is So Cruel As Impunity.

The Possibilities Are Numerous Once We Decide To Act And Not React.

Decision Making

Deep Knowledge Is Not Knowledge Of The Thing Itself, But Knowledge Of A Thing Like The Thing. Then, You Gain Not One Knowledge, But Two Knowledges. Of The Thing. And Of The Original Thing With Is Like The Thing. Which Is The Barbarism Of The Privileged Class.

If We Have Come To Think That The Nursery And The Kitchen Are The Natural Sphere Of A Woman, We Have Done So Exactly As English Children Come To Think That A Cage Is The Natural Sphere Of A Parrot: Because They Have Never Seen One Anywhere Else.

The Censorship Method ... Is That Of Handing The Job Over To Some Frail And Erring Mortal Man, And Making Him Omnipotent On The Assumption That His Official Status Will Make Him Infallible And Omniscient.

Hypocrisy ... Is Only Bad When It Is Improperly Used.

I Have Studied Him - The Wonderful Man - And In My Opinion Far From Being An Anti-christ He Must Be Called The Saviour Of Humanity.

At Present There Is Not A Single Credible Established Religion In The World.

She Is Immensely Interested In Him. She Has Even Secret Mischievous Moments In Which She Wishes She Could Get Him Alone, On A Desert Island, Away From All Ties And With Nobody Else In The World To Consider, And Just Drag Him Off His Pedestal And See Him Making Love Like Any Common Man.

Poverty Does Not Produce Unhappiness: It Produces Degradation.

In Order To Fully Realize How Bad A Popular Play Can Be, It Is Necessary To See It Twice.

I Am Giving You Examples Of The Fact That This Creature Man, Who In His Own Selfish Affairs Is A Coward To The Backbone, Will Fight For An Idea Like A Hero. . . . I Tell You, Gentlemen, If You Can Shew A Man A Piece Of What He Now Calls God's Work To Do, And What He Will Later Call By Many New Names, You Can Make Him Entirely Reckless Of The Consequences To Himself Personally.

The Lesson Intended By An Author Is Hardly Ever The Lesson The World Chooses To Learn From His Book.

What Is Virtue But The Trade Unionism Of The Married?

This Planet Is Obviously Being Used As An Insane Asylum By Other Planets.

I Am A Sort Of Collector Of Religions: And The Curious Thing Is That I Find I Can Believe In Them All.

Why, Except As A Means Of Livelihood, A Man Should Desire To Act On The Stage When He Has The Whole World To Act In, Is Not Clear To Me.

Every Dream Is A Prophecy: Every Jest Is An Earnest In The Womb Of Time.

There Is Nothing That Can Be Changed More Completely Than Human Nature When The Job Is Taken In Hand Early Enough.

No Man Who Is Occupied In Doing A Very Difficult Thing, And Doing It Very Well, Ever Loses His Self-respect.

Optimistic Lies Have Such Immense Therapeutic Value That A Doctor Who Cannot Tell Them Convincingly Has Mistaken His Profession.

People Exaggerate The Value Of Things They Haven't Got Everybody Worships Truth And Unselfishness Because They Have No Experience With Them

Success Does Not Consist In Never Making Mistakes But In Never Making The Same One A Second Time.

There Have Been Summits Of Civilization At Which Heretics Like Socrates , Who Was Killed Because He Was Wiser Than His Neighbors, Have Not Been Tortured, But Ordered To Kill Themselves In The Most Painless Manner Known To Their Judges. But From That Summit There Was A Speedy Relapse Into Our Present Savagery.

Political Necessities Sometime Turn Out To Be Political Mistakes.

Bible Worship, Though At Its Best It May Achieve Sublimity By Keeping Its Head In The Skies, May Also Make Itself Both Ridiculousand Dangerous By Having Its Feet Off The Ground.

Nobody Could Stand An Eternity Of Heaven.

The Confusing Of Marriage With Morality Has Done More To Destroy The Conscience Of The Human Race Than Any Other Single Error.

Remember That You Are A Human Being With A Soul And The Divine Gift Of Articulate Speech: That Your Native Language Is The Language Of Shakespeare And Milton And The Bible; And Don't Sit There Crooning Like A Bilious Pigeon.

Native Language

Experience Is A Wonderful Thing. It Enables You To Recognize A Mistake When You Make It Again. If All Economists Were Laid End To End They Would Not Reach A Conclusion.

You Can Always Tell An Old Soldier By The Inside Of His Holsters And Cartridge Boxes. The Young Ones Carry Pistols And Cartridges; The Old Ones, Grub.

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