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My Father Could Have Been A Great Comedian, But He Didn't Believe That That Was Possible For Him, And So He Made A Conservative Choice. Instead, He Got A Safe Job As An Accountant. When I Was 12 Years Old, He Was Let Go From That Safe Job, And Our Family Had To Do Whatever We Could To Survive. I Learned Many Great Lessons From My Father, Not The Least Of Which Was That You Can Fail At What You Don’t Want, So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

-Jim Carrey

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My Father Could Have

Jim Carrey

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My Father Could Have Been A Great Comedian, But He Didn't Believe That That Was Possible For Him, And So He Made A Conservative Choice. Instead, He Got A Safe Job As An Accountant. When I Was 12 Years Old, He Was Let Go From That Safe Job, And Our Family Had To Do Whatever We Could To Survive. I Learned Many Great Lessons From My Father, Not The Least Of Which Was That You Can Fail At What You Don’t Want, So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

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Lots Of People Say If You Dredge Too Much Stuff Up, You'll Go Crazy - "you'll Go Insane!" But For A Comedian, Insanity Is Not A Problem. It's A Goal.

I'm Always Trying To Complicate Things. For Some Reason I'll Go, "well, Maybe I Can Get That In," And Stuff Like That. I Always Make It Really Hard For Myself.

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My Dad Was Like A Stage Mother He Always Pushed Me To Do What I Wanted.

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I Have Spiritual Beliefs That I Could Literally Go Out And Make An Entire Comedy Routine About, And Tour As Some Sort Of Spiritual Guru, But It Kind Of Goes Against That [as] I Actually Believe The Things, So I'm Always Kind Of Caught In The Middle.

It Is Better To Risk Starving To Death Then Surrender. If You Give Up On Your Dreams, What's Left?

I Get Excited When The People I Work With Scare Me. I Get Excited When I'm Surrounded By People Who Make Me Better And Make Me Stay On My Game And Challenge Me.

Christmas Was Really Where I Started Coming Into My Own As A Performer Because I Did All This Stuff On My Own, All This Performing On My Own. When Other Kids Were Outside Playing, I Was In My Room Conjuring Characters And Impressions And Things Like That.

I Know This Sounds Strange, But As A Kid, I Was Really Shy. Painfully Shy. The Turning Point Was Freshman Year, When I Was The Biggest Geek Alive. No One, I Mean No One, Even Talked To Me.

I Wrote Myself A Check For Ten Million Dollars For Acting Services Rendered And Dated It Thanksgiving 1995. I Put It In My Wallet And It Deteriorated. And Then, Just Before Thanksgiving 1995, I Found Out I Was Going To Make Ten Million Dollars For Dumb & Dumber. I Put That Check In The Casket With My Father Because It Was Our Dream Together.

When You Are A Kid, You Need To Have Something To Do. This Will Keep You Off The Streets.

If We (lauren And Jim) Ever Get Married, We're Just Going To Put Helmets On, Run Into Each Other From A Hundred Yards, And Smash Together Like Rams

I'm A Hard Guy To Live With. I'm Like A Caged Animal. I'm Up All Night Walking Around The Living Room. It's Hard For Me To Come Down From What I Do.

As Far As I'm Concerned, Everything Bad That Happens In The World Stems From The Same Place, They're People Who Don't Feel Important.

My Father Used To Brag That I Wasn't A Ham, I Was The Whole Pig.

I'm Not Always Looking For The Laugh. I'm Not The Guy Who Sits In And Listens To Conversations And Wants To Jump In With Something Hilarious Every Two Seconds. I Actually Do Listen To People.

Well This Is Just A Fist. But When I Start Throwing It Around I Can Leave One Hell Of A Mess.

Movies Are Great, But The Real Romance Happens Right Here, Somewhere - Real Close-up. I Really Couldn't Have Done It If I Hadn't Been Through A Lot One Way Or Another. Either You're The One Erasing Or You're The One Being Erased, So It's Not A Pleasant Feeling!

I Never Thought I Was Finished When People Said I Was Finished, Or Any Of That Stuff. I Always Had This Undying Belief That Even If I Was In A Wheelchair And I Could Only Move My Finger, Somehow I Would Become The Guy Who Does The Amazing Thing With His Finger.

I Cannot Be Contained Because I Am The Container.

I Enjoy My Life. The Fame Part Of It Freaked Me Out For A Little While, And There Are Definitely Times When It's Not So Great To Be Special And Known By Everybody - You Know, When You're Wearing The Wrong Thing, Or Just In A Vulnerable Place. But I'm Good With My Life Now.

Hope Walks Through The Fire. Faith Leaps Over It.

Heaven Is On The Other Side Of That Feeling You Get When You’re Sitting On The Couch And You Get Up And Make A Triple-decker Sandwich. It’s On The Other Side Of That, When You Don’t Make The Sandwich. It’s About Sacrifice... It’s About Giving Up The Things That Basically Keep You From Feeling. That’s What I Believe, Anyway. I’m Always Asking, "what Am I Going To Give Up Next?" Because I Want To Feel.

50 Years: Here's A Time When You Have To Separate Yourself From What Other People Expect Of You, And Do What You Love. Because If You Find Yourself 50 Years Old And You Aren't Doing What You Love, Then What's The Point?

Dry Land Is Not A Myth. I've Seen It. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I Don't Know What The Big Fuss Is About. I Saw That Movie Nine Times. It Rules!

A Better You Means A Better Universe.

Self Confidence

You Can Be Zany And Funny Or You Can Do Something That Really Has Some Depth To It And Serious, So There's Many Different Colors To Paint With. I Would Hate To Get Trapped In One Little Thing. I Always Feel Like Funny Is An Appendage, But It Is Not My Whole Body.

I Would Challenge Anybody In Their Darkest Moment To Write What They're Grateful For, Even Stupid Little Things Like The Green Grass That Made Them Feel Good, The Friendly Conversation They Had With Somebody On An Alevator. You Start To Realize How Rich You Are.

I Think That There's A Natural Attraction To Enigmatic Characters, People That Have Decided To Make A Decision In Their Lives To Live Differently Than Everyone Else. That's A Very Attractive Quality That Also Happens To Be Good For Filmmaking, People That Have Their Own Point Of View And Aren't Looking At Things The Same Way As Everyone Else.

All I Want To Make Sure Of Is That She's Doing Something She Loves. Watch Your Kids When They Sit Down And Absolutely Get Lost In Something. Maybe That's What They Should Be Doing-the Thing They're Dying To Do All The Time.

I'm Talkin' About A Place Where The Beer Flows Like Wine, Where The Women Instinctively Flock Like The Salmon Of Capistrano. I'm Talkin' About Aspen.

Most Of The Time I Live With My Pain. I Have Pain But I Won't Show It Around. I Think That's The Nobility Of The Character. There's Something Noble In Not Spewing On People All The Time About Your Problems. I'm The Light Guy, So I Identified.

Life Is An Ordeal, Albeit An Exciting One, But I Wouldn't Trade It For The Good Old Days Of Poverty And Obscurity.

Originality Is Really Important.

I'm The First To Admit This Whole Salary Thing Is Getting Out Of Control. In The Final Analysis, It's Still About The Work.

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My Career Has Been In A Weird Kind Of Like Low-flying Under The Radar-kind Of Place. I Never Made It On "saturday Night Live" Where All My Friends Did.

I Come From The Philosophy Of: "whatever Happens To Me Is The Greatest Thing That Could Happen, No Matter What." Sometimes In The Moment I Have A Regret, But Then I Have Found Myself Every Time Down The Line Saying To Myself: "i Wouldn't Be Here If It Weren't For That So Called Failure."

The Dating Process Is Not Normal For Me.

I Love Stories About Teachers. For Some Reason I Can't Get Enough Of Those Kind Of Stories. If I Turn A Movie On About A Teacher, I Love It. I Love That Idea Of An Adult Influence On Kids.

The Worst Thing In The World When You Feel Broken Is To Have Somebody Coming At You With Open-faced Love.

My Teacher In The Seventh Grade Told Me That If I Didn't Fool Around During Class, I Could Have 15 Minutes At The End Of The Day To Do A Comedy Routine. Instead Of Bugging Everybody, I'd Figure Out My Routine. And At The End Of The Day, I'd Get To Perform In Front Of My Entire Class. I Thought It Was Really Smart Of Her. It's Amazing How Important That Was.

One Of My Mission Statements With All Of My Art Has Been To Stop The World For People. I Want To Stop The Worrying And Stop The World.

I Expected That Most Of My Career Would Be In Dramatic Acting. My Hero Was James Dean.

I'd Like To Thank My Mother, My Father, The Academy. I'm Sorry. I Was Thinking Of Something Else.

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Don't You Just Hate It, When You Are In Bed With Three Beautiful Women, And The Least Attractive One Whispers: Save It For Me!

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I Would Do Anything To Be Anywhere In The Vicinity Of Eckhart Tolle.

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Ever Since I Started To Get Recognition I've Picked Out Certain Fans And Reverse-stalked Them.

I've Always Believed That You Can Funnel Good Things Toward Yourself By Thinking Positiviely.

I Do Whatever [comedies] I'm Attracted To. It's Like The Woman Who Stands Out In The Crowd, Who For Some Reason You Notice, That's The One You're Supposed To Dance With At That Time In Your Life. That's Just What It Is With Scripts... They Find You When You're Emotionally In The Right Place To Do Them.

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I Was On Prozac For A Long Time. It May Have Helped Me Out Of A Jam For A Little Bit, But People Stay On It Forever.

Just Because I Rock Doesn't Mean I Am Made Of Stone.

Funny Motivational

The Purpose Of Art Is To Bring People Into Presence.

I'm Very Serious About No Alcohol, No Drugs. Life Is Too Beautiful.

Funny Sarcastic

Choose Love And Don't Ever Let Fear Turn You Away From Your Playful Heart

If I Had Never Ventured Beyond Being A Stand-up Comic, Then I Would Be Sitting In My House Today Working On My Leonardo Dicaprio Impression.

I Try To Do Something The Audience Might Not Have Seen Before.

Never Been Kissed

But I Refuse To Believe That I Am A Better Actor Than Myself.

My Focus Is To Forget The Pain Of Life. Forget The Pain, Mock The Pain, Reduce It. And Laugh.

There's Been A Thoughtfulness To Everything I Do. Even The Stupidest Things I Do Have Some Kind Of Point.

I've Tried Everything. I've Done Therapy, I've Done Colonics. I Went To A Psychic Who Had Me Running Around Town Buying Pieces Of Ribbon To Fill The Colors In My Aura. Did The Prozac Thing.

The Character Is What Trips You Up - The Thing Of, "i'm Going To Get So Dark In This Character That I'm Going To Get Lost In A Character." You Can't Get Lost In A Character. You Can Only Think You're Lost In A Character.

If You Give Up On Your Dreams, What's Left?

I Really Want To Love Somebody. I Do. I Just Don't Know If It's Possible Forever And Ever.

I Hope I'll Never Be Is Drunk With My Own Power.

I Don't Think Anybody Should Go Through Life Without A Team Of Psychologists. I Have Been Through Times When I'm Literally Squatting In The Living Room, Having One Of Those Open-throated Cries, Where You're Crying All The Way To Your Butthole. I Always Believed I Would Come Out Of It, Though.

I Spent Most Of My Time In My Room Staring At A Mirror. I Never Knew I Was Supposed To Socialize. I Just Spent Hours Making Faces At Myself, Having A Good Time.

My Life Is Not Unlike Truman's. I Can't Go Anywhere.

I Don't Make It In Regular Channels, And That's Okay For Me.

Flowers Don't Worry About How They're Going To Bloom. They Just Open Up & Turn Toward The Light & That Makes Them Beautiful.

My Report Card Always Said, 'jim Finishes First And Then Disrupts The Other Students'.

You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

Doing What You Love

Until Ace Ventura, No Actor Had Considered Talking Through His Ass.

My Social Life Goes In Bursts, Where I Get Like, "oh, I Gotta Get Out And Do Something, Man, I Gotta Do Something." And I'll Plan A Trip And Go On A Motorcycle Trip Down The Baja Peninsula For 900 Miles And I'll Hang Out With My Friends For Like A Month, And Then They'll Never See Me For Two Months Or Three Months Or Whatever, And I Won't Answer Any Calls.

I'm A Perfectionist, So I'm Never Satisfied With Myself. I've Always Been Psychotic About That Kind Of Stuff--in A Good Way. I'm Very Disciplined. Like The Food And The Whole Thing, I'm Always Looking To "how Can I Eventually Just Turn Into A Ball Of Light And Fly Off The Planet?". Until That Happens And God Basically Pull The Blinds Back, I Will Not Be Satisfied... If I Found Out That If I Ate Pine Nuts For The Next Month I Could See God, I'd Be Eating Pine Nuts.

Maybe There Is No Actual Place Called Hell. Maybe Hell Is Just Having To Listen To Our Grandparents Breathe Through Their Noses When They're Eating Sandwiches.

I Think Obsessions Happen Because You're Trying To Understand Something Or Some Urge.

Comedic Actors Can Be Looked At As A Lower Form Because We Have To Put Ourselves In A Lower Place Than Most Of The Audience. I Think Lofty Emotions Are Somehow Considered More Special. The Best Stories In The World To Me Are The Ones That Elicit A Real Emotion, But Have Humour.

Everything You Gain In Life Will Rot And Fall Apart, And All That Will Be Left Of You Is What Was In Your Heart.

I Would Visualize Things Coming To Me. It Would Just Make Me Feel Better. Visualization Works If You Work Hard. That's The Thing. You Can't Just Visualize And Go Eat A Sandwich.

I Absolutely Want To Have A Career Where You Make'em Laugh And Make'em Cry. It's All Theater.

I Don't Remember Yesterday. I Pretty Much Live In The Moment.

Live In The Moment

Life Opens Up Opportunities To You, And You Either Take Them Or You Stay Afraid Of Taking Them.

I've Never Been One To Sit Back And Go, 'i'd Better Do What The Audience Wants Me To Do, Because I Don't Want To Lose Them.'

I Feel Like I've Lived The Dream For Sure, I'm The Luckiest Guy In The World And I Never Forget That. I Always Feel Like I'm Proof Of Positive Thought And Manifestation, And That Faith Is More Important Than Talent. But If You Have Both You're Really Doing Something.

I Discovered A New Thing In The Lord's Prayer That Kind Of Hit Me. "on Earth As It Is Heaven" To Me It Means Whatever You Take Out Into The World Is What You're Going To Draw Out. Like Those Days When You're All Yang And No Yin, And You're Fighting With People Inside, And You Can't Calm Yourself Down, And Suddenly You're Pulled Over By The Cops. Everything Goes Wrong In The Same Day Because You Created It. So, If You Get Heaven Within You, It'll Be All Around You. If Hell Is Within You, It'll Be Around You. It's Always Created Here First.

Creative People Don't Behave Very Well Generally. If You're Looking For Examples Of Good Relationships In Show Business, You're Gonna Be Depressed Real Fast. I Don't Have Time For Anything Else Right Now But Work And My Daughter. She's My First Priority.

If You've Got A Talent, Protect It.

One Thing I Hope I'll Never Be Is Drunk With My Own Power. And Anybody Who Says I Am Will Never Work In This Town Again.

I Refuse To Feel Guilty. I Feel Guilty About Too Much In My Life But Not About Money. I Went Through Periods When I Had Nothing, So Somebody In My Family Has To Get Stinkin' Wealthy.

I Don't Believe In This Fairy Tale Of Staying Together For Ever. Ten Years With Somebody Is Enough. In Ten Years, You Can Give A Lot Of Love.

Those Times In Life When You're Terrified Are The Mastery Times.

My Family Kinda Hit The Skids. We Were Experiencing Poverty At That Point. We All Got A Job, Where The Whole Family Had To Work As Security Guards And Janitors. And I Just Got Angry.

Security Guards

Fear Is Going To Be A Player In Your Life, But You Get To Decide How Much. You Can Spend Your Whole Life Imagining Ghosts, Worrying About The Pathway To The Future, But All It Will Ever Be Is What's Happening Here, The Decisions In That We Make In This Moment, Which Are Based In Either Love Or Fear.

When The First Big Paycheque With 'dumb And Dumber' Hit, I Went: 'gosh, I Wonder If This Will Affect My Performance. Will I Do A Take And Think, Was That Worth $7 Million?' But That Never Happened. If Anything, It Made Me Rebel Against That Thing When People Who Get Rich Start Playing It Safe.

If I'm Not Back In 5 Minutes, Just Wait Longer.

My Father Could Have Been A Great Comedian, But He Didn't Believe That That Was Possible For Him, And So He Made A Conservative Choice. Instead, He Got A Safe Job As An Accountant. When I Was 12 Years Old, He Was Let Go From That Safe Job, And Our Family Had To Do Whatever We Could To Survive. I Learned Many Great Lessons From My Father, Not The Least Of Which Was That You Can Fail At What You Don’t Want, So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

My Mother Was A Professional Sick Person; She Took A Lot Of Pain Pills. There Are Many People Like That. It's Just How They Are Used To Getting Attention. I Always Remember She's The Daughter Of Alcoholics Who'd Leave Her Alone At Christmas Time.

The Combination Of What's Written And Just Being In The Moment Is Always The Best Way. You Gotta Start Out With Something Solid And Then You Play.

I'm So Wrapped Up In My Work That It's Often Impossible To Consider Other Things In My Life. My Marriage Ended In Divorce Because Of This, My Relationship With Holly Has Suffered By This.

All There Will Ever Be Is What's Happening Here. Decisions We Make In This Moment Are Based On Either Love Or Fear. So Many Of Us Choose Our Path Out Of Fear, Disguised As Practicality.

Decisions We Make

You Are The Vanguard Of Knowledge And Consciousness; A New Wave In A Vast Ocean Of Possibilities.

I Wish Everyone Could Experience Being Rich And Famous, So They'd See It Wasn't The Answer To Anything.

I've Arrived At The Place If I'm Not Taking A Career Risk, I'm Not Happy. If I'm Scared, Then I Know I'm Being Challenged.

I Wake Up Some Mornings And Sit And Have My Coffee And Look Out At My Beautiful Garden, And I Go, 'remember How Good This Is. Because You Can Lose It.'

When Someone You Love Dies, You Don't Lose Them All At Once. You Lose Them In Pieces Over Time, Like How The Mail Stops Coming.

Risk Being Seen In All Of Your Glory.

Graduation Speech

You Are Ready And Able To Do Beautiful Things In This World....you Will Only Ever Have Two Choices: Love Or Fear. Choose Love, And Don’t Ever Let Fear Turn You Against Your Playful Heart.

Acting Is Divine Dissatisfaction. It's The Greatest Thing In The World To Do, But You Are Never Satisfied With It Ever.

I Think If We All Acted The Way We Felt, Four Out Of Eight People At A Dinner Table Would Be Sitting There Sobbing.

People Need Motivation To Do Anything. I Don't Think Human Beings Learn Anything Without Desperation.

Always Turn Your Wheel In The Direction Of The Skid.

I Love Playing Ego And Insecurity Combined.

I Just Like Being Creative, Whatever Way I Have To Do It.

Some Nights It Was A Melee, Literally, Where I'd Be Standing Trying To Defend Myself For What I Was Doing. People Would Be Screaming At Me To Do My Old Act, And Getting Actually Violent And Angry At Me.

The Effect You Have On Others Is The Most Valuable Currency There Is.

Graduation Speech

There Was A Time When People Said, 'jim, If You Keep On Making Faces, Your Face Will Freeze Like That.' Now They Just Say, 'pay Him!'

Everybody Expects The Fairy Tale - You're Going To Be Together Forever With Somebody. I Don't Really Subscribe To That. I'd Love That To Happen If That Happened, But Ten Years Is Enough. Ten Years Is A Good Thing With Somebody, I Think. It's A Nice Thing. A Lot Of Good Love Can Happen In Ten Years.

I Hate Christmas. I Do Think It Is Odd That I Have Wound Up Playing These Two Iconic Christmas Haters. It Is The Same Story, In A Way. Scrooge Is The Original Grinch. I Think I Am Perfectly Suited, Because I Have Had Some Dark Christmases.

I Really Have Always Thought Of Myself As Somebody Who Lives In The Middle Of The Wheel And Is Able To Go To The Extreme, To The Outside Of The Wheel In Any Direction. The Best Case Scenario For Me Is To Be Able To Be Centered And Then Go Out.

150 People Die Every Year From Being Hit By Falling Coconuts. Not To Worry, Drug Makers Are Developing A Vaccine.

Madness Is Never That Far Away. It's As Close As Saying Yes To The Wrong Impulse.

One Man's Toxic Waste Is Another Man's Potpourri.

I Said Yes To So Many Things, From A Sex Change To Gastric By-pass Surgery, So It's Always Paid Off For Me.

The Wonderful Thing About Digital Process Is That I Can Be Cast In Films That I Would Never Be Cast In. If I Have It In My Soul To Play The Character It Doesn't Matter What My Face Looks Like, Or My Age. It's Really Liberating.

Kids Need To Know They're The Most Important Thing In The World To You, And If That Means Quitting Your Job To Prove It, Then You Have To Prove It.

I Want To Be The Greatest Actor That Ever Lived, Frankly. I'd Love That. But I Don't Need To Be. I Just Want To Be Here. That's It.

I Feel Like I Want To Take Care Of Everyone And I Also Feel This Terrible Guilt If I Am Unable To. And I Have Felt This Way Ever Since All This Success Started.

I Hope Everybody Could Get Rich And Famous.

I’ve Often Said That I Wish People Could Realize All Their Dreams And Wealth And Fame, So That They Could See That It’s Not Where They’re Gonna Find Their Sense Of Completion. Like Many Of You, I Was Concerned About Going Out Into The World And Doing Something Bigger Than Myself, Until Someone Smarter Than Myself Made Me Realize That There Is Nothing Bigger Than Myself. My Soul Is Not Contained Within The Limits Of My Body, My Body Is Contained Within The Limitlessness Of My Soul.

You Love The Person For Who They Are, Flaws And All. You Can't Help Who You Love, Either. It Comes From A Different Side Of Your Brain Than The Logic Part That Tells You That This Person Is Horrible For You - "you Should Walk Away!" While You're Walking Away, The Other Part Of Your Brain Is Trying To Gain Control Of Your Bodily Functions. "turn Around! She's The One!"

I Don't Think I'm Ever Going To Have The Kind Of Life Or Schedule That I Can Really Have A Steady Way Of Doing Things.

I Learned Many Great Lessons From My Father, Not The Least Of Which, Was That You Can Fail At What You Don't Want So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love

Doing What You Love

Take A Chance On Faith - Not Religion, But Faith. Not Hope, But Faith. I Don’t Believe In Hope. Hope Is A Beggar. Hope Walks Through The Fire. Faith Leaps Over It.

The Inner Child Runs Rampant. They're Just Smaller, That's All.

Movie Offers Are Out There For Me, I Just Don't Hear Them Yet.

Usually You Regret The Things You Say No To.

I Think Projects Find Me. It's Really Interesting. Everything I've Done, From "the Truman Show," The "eternal Sunshine" To "yes Man" And "bruce Almighty," Always Come Into My Life At The Perfect Time.

My Spiritual Journey Has Been A Good Kind Of Thing I've Been On. I Guess Some People Would Say I'm Obsessed With It, But In A Really Good Way. It's Just Enjoyable. I Don't Really Have Crazy Obsessions About Things.

Any1 Who Would Run Out To Buy An Assault Rifle After The Newtown Massacre Has Very Little Left In Their Body Or Soul Worth Protecting. ;^

Like Most Catholic Boys, I Wanted To Be Jesus Christ. I Could Never Get The Turn-the-other-cheek Thing Down, Though.

For The Most Sensitive Among Us The Noise Can Be Too Much.

Behind Every Great Man Is A Woman Rolling Her Eyes.

I'm Not A Bible Thumper, I'm Not Any Of That Stuff, But I Do Believe That The Force Is With Us.

I Just Wanna Hang Out. No Big Deal!

When I Started To Realise How Important The Film Was To People I Thought There Is A Lot Of Negative Stuff Going On In The World, Maybe They Need These Two People

Your Need For Acceptance Can Make You Invisible In This World. Risk Being Seen In All Of Your Glory.

There Is A Huge Difference Between A Dog That Is Going To Eat You In Your Mind And An Actual Dog That's Going To Eat You.

Maybe Other People Will Try To Limit Me But I Don't Limit Myself.

Life Doesn't Happen To You, It Happens For You.

Fear Is Going To Be A Player In Your Life, But You Get To Decide How Much.

It's Our Intention. Our Intention Is Everything. Nothing Happens On This Planet Without It. Not One Single Thing Has Ever Been Accomplished Without Intention.

I Enjoy Fame Except When I'm With My Daughter. Kids Stop Me All The Time And I Don't Want Her To Be Jealous Of The Attention. Also, Sometimes I Just Want To Be Left Alone And I Refuse To Make Rubber Faces. That's When They Start Asking, What's The Matter, Man, Don't You Like Your Job? I Say, Yeah, I Like My Job. But I Also Like Having Sex, And I'm Not Going To Do That In Front Of You Either.

There Are Peaks, There Are Valleys. But They're All Kind Of Carved And Smoothed Out, And It Feels Like A Low Level Of Despair You Live In. Where You're Not Getting Any Answers, But You're Living Ok. And You Can Smile At The Office. You Know? But It's A Low Level Of Despair. I Was On Prozac For A Long Time. It May Have Helped Me Out Of A Jam For A Little Bit, But People Stay On It Forever. I Had To Get Off At A Certain Point Because I Realized That, You Know, Everything's Just Ok.

I Think There Are Beautiful Moments. These Days Everybody Expects That Fairy Tale , That You're Going To Be Together Forever With Somebody And I Don't Really Subscribe To That. I'd Love That To Happen If That Happened, But 10 Years Is Enough. 10 Years Is A Good Thing With Somebody, I Think. It's A Nice Thing. A Lot Of Good Love Can Happen In 10 Years.

I Got Paid A Lot Of Money At One Point So The Focus Became, For A Lot Of People, About That, But For Me, It's Always Been The Same Goal: To Stop The World For People.

I Wanted To Be A Veterinarian For About A Week Of My Life When I Was A Kid. But I Found Out About The Whole Euthanasia Thing And I Said, I Can't Commit To That, Sorry!

Movies Are Great, But The Real Romance Happens Right Here Somewhere As Real Close-up. Either You're The One Erasing Or You're The One Being Erased, So... It's Not A Pleasant Feeling!

Be Grateful. Find Something To Be Grateful For. Don't Do Too Many Things That Make You Feel Like You Deserve To Lose Because We Do Program Our Own Computers. I Believe There Is A Plus And A Minus Column And If You End Up On The Minus Column, Your Own Conscience Will Make You Lose.

I Don't Feel Any Pressure To Be Funny At All. I'm Funny Because I Want To Be Funny. I Could Sit Here And Be Serious For An Hour And You Would Go Away And Make Me Much Funnier Than I Am.

So Many Of Us Choose Our Path Out Of Fear Disguised As Practicality.

I Need Privacy. I Would Think That Because What I Do Makes A Lot Of People Happy That I Might Deserve A Little Bit Of Respect In Return. Instead, The Papers Try To Drag Me Off My Pedestal.

I Used To Draw A Lot. If My Mother Would Ask Me To Do Something Else, I'd Have A Hairy Conniption. I'd Just Go Crazy.

It's Time To P-a-r-t-why? Because I Gotta!

Come Back Here So That I May Brain Thee!

I Don't Think You Can Know God Unless You're Passionate About Him So You're Either Screaming At Him, Enraptured With The Idea Of Being Around Him Or Feeling Him In Your Life.

You Can Fail At What You Don’t Want, So You Might As Well Take A Chance On Doing What You Love.

It's Hard For Anybody Who's Been With Me Not To Feel Starved For Affection When I'm Making Love To My Ideas. Maybe It's Not Meant For Me To Settle Down And Be Married.

Every Character I Do Is Something Special To Me. Every Time You Score With A Great Character Relationship In A Movie, It Becomes Your Baby.

I Really Believe In The Philosophy That You Create Your Own Universe. I'm Just Trying To Create A Good One For Myself.

Uh Uh Uh, Turning The Car Into Oncoming Traffic... Is Counterproductive!

Counterproductive

It's Always Fun To Do Something That You Know Ultimately Is Not About The Money, And It's Certainly Not For The Fame - Because It's A Pain In The Ass. But It's Really The Person In The Theater Seat You Think About When You Sit In A Room And Write.

The Only Thing That Has Ever Consumed Me Is Love From Time To Time. Feeling Like, 'what Is It? How Do I Get It?'

I Don't Hate You For Loving You. I Just Hate My Heart For Choosing Someone Like You.

Green Eggs And Ham Was The Story Of My Life. I Wouldn't Eat A Thing When I Was A Kid, But Dr. Seuss Inspired Me To Try Cauliflower!

Imagine If You Could Actually Be That Happy? That Would Be Powerful, Man. People Would Be Tunneling Under The Street To Avoid You. They'd Go 'oh, Man - Is That Happy Guy Still Out There?'

Our Eyes Are Not Viewers, They're Also Projectors That Are Running A Second Story Over The Picture That We See In Front Of Us All The Time. Fear Is Writing That Script, And The Working Title Is 'i'll Never Be Enough'

Ya Know What I Do Almost Every Day? I Wash. Personal Hygiene Is Part Of The Package With Me.

Personal Hygiene

I Don't Care If People Think I Am An Overactor, As Long As They Enjoy What I Do. People Who Think That Would Call Van Gogh An Overpainter.

I Just Want To Be Myself.

I Have No Limits! I Cannot Be Contained Because I'm The Container.

You Know The Trouble With Real Life? There's No Danger Music.

To Find Real Peace You Have To Let The Armor Go. Your Need For Acceptance Can Make You Invisible In This World. Don't Let Anything Stand In The Way Of The Light That Shines Through This Form. Risk Being Seen In All Of Your Glory.

The Era Of ‘yes’ Has Begun.

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Theodore Dreiser

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