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Women's Scars And Rituals Involved Beauty (piercing Ears And Noses, Binding Feet, And Wearing Corsets); Men's Involved Protecting Women. In Cultures In Which Physical Strength Is Still The Best Way To Protect Women, As Among The Dodos In Uganda, Each Time A Man Kills A Man, He Is Awarded A Ritual Scar; The More Scars, The More He Is Considered Eligible.

-Warren Farrell

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Women's Scars And Rituals

Warren Farrell

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Women's Scars And Rituals Involved Beauty (piercing Ears And Noses, Binding Feet, And Wearing Corsets); Men's Involved Protecting Women. In Cultures In Which Physical Strength Is Still The Best Way To Protect Women, As Among The Dodos In Uganda, Each Time A Man Kills A Man, He Is Awarded A Ritual Scar; The More Scars, The More He Is Considered Eligible.

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Laws Are Made With Such Attention To Protecting Women That, If A Man's Constitutional Rights Conflict With A Woman's Protection, His Rights Disintegrate Before Her Protection Disintegrates.

Feminists Have Confused Opportunity With Outcome.

Choosing Safety Is A Choice Of Life Over Career.

The Money Men Make From Their Willingness To Work The Least Desirable Hours Is Not A Sign Of Discrimination Against Women, But A Sign Of The Willingness Of Mostly Married Men To Lose Sleep To Support The Family As Their Wife Loses Sleep To Feed The Child. A Willingness To Do The Uncomfortable Shifts Is One Reason Married Men Earn More Than Twice What Never-married Men Earn. Men's Contribution, Made At Night, Need Not Be Lost In The Dark.

In 1969, Nationwide, Female Professors Who Had Never Been Married And Never Published Earned 145% Of Their Counterpart Male Colleagues.

I Define Power As Control Over One's Life. Pay Is Not About Power. Pay Is About Giving Up Power To Get The Power Of Pay.

Feminism Justified Female Victim Power By Convincing The World That We Lived In A Sexist, Male-dominated, And Patriarchal World.

Men Have Not Stacked The Decks Against Women.

Women And Men Look At Their Life, And Women Say, What Do I Need? Do I Need More Money, Or Do I Need More Time? And Women Are Intelligent Enough To Say, I Need More Time. And So, Women Lead Balanced Lives; Men Should Be Learning From Women.

Just As The Depression Left A Generation Of Dads Feeling They Never Had Enough Money, So Father Deprivation Is Leaving A Generation Of Sons And Daughters With Different Psychic Wounds.

By Giving Women Training To Sue A Company For A 'hostile Environment' If Someone Tells A Dirty Joke, We Are Training Women To Run To The Government As Substitute Husband (or Father). This Gets Companies To Fear Women, But Not To Respect Women. The Best Preparation We Can Give Women To Succeed In The Workplace Is The Preparation To Overcome Barriers Rather Than To Sue: Successful People Don't Sue, They Succeed.

If Women Had To Promise To Provide For A Man For A Lifetime Before He Removed His Veil And Showed Her His Smile, Would We Think Of This As A System Of Female Privilege?

And Then In 1956 Or 1957 My Family Went Over To Europe And I Moved Over With Them, And Immediately People In Europe Thought My Perspective On That Issue Was 100% Correct.

Raising Children Was Not Designed For Single Parents. (which Is Why Divorce Was Such A Taboo Prior To Birth Control).

In The Case Of A Man And A Woman [accused Of Commiting A Crime Together], Both Will Often Agree To The Man Taking The Rap Despite The Man Being More Likely To Receive A Longer Sentence And More Likely To Be Raped In Prison. If Blacks Were Agreeing To Do That For Whites, The Black Community Would Be Smart Enough To Call That 'learned Subservience.'

Why Do We Resist Giving Help To Homeless Men? In Part Because We Don't Understand How Our Pressure On Men To Support Families Often Forces Men To Take Transient Jobs That Are But A Step Away From Homelessness (the Death-of-a-salesman Jobs, The Migrant Worker Jobs...) And In Part Because We Respond Differently To Men Who Fail [than Women Who Fail].

When Birth Control Pills Were Available In Europe But Not In The United States, American Women Created An Uproar About How The Unwillingness To Make The Pill Available Showed A Contempt For The Lives Of Women. When The Food And Drug Administration (fda) Released Birth Control Pills With High Dosages Of Hormones That Were Later Found To Be Unnecessarily High, They Were Attacked For Not Caring About Women Enough To Do The Necessary Tests.

Men Rarely Worry About Using Or Being Used Because All Relationships Work That Way. A Man Perceives Himself As Owning And Being Owned By A Woman. Use Is A Dirty Word Only When Theres An Imbalance In The Relationship.

I Would Suggest That Just As Women Who Make It In The World Of Business Need Male Business Mentors, Perhaps Men Who Make It In The World Of Emotions Will Need Female Emotional Mentors.

The Weakness Of Men Is The Facade Of Strength; The Strength Of Women Is The Facade Of Weakness.

A Lot Of Young Men Are Frustrated And Looking For Someone To Blame.

If Women Really Earned Fifty-nine Cents To The Dollar For The Same Work As Men, What Business Could Compete Effectively By Hiring Men At Any Level?

Solutions: Seek An Understanding Of The Other Sex's Best Intent.

The Government Passed More Laws To Protect Women From Dirty Jokes Than To Protect Men From Death By Faulty Rafters At A Construction Site.

He And She Become Selective At Different Points; She Can Be Selective When He Wants His Primary Fantasy - Sex; He Can Be Selective When She Wants Her Primary Fantasy - Commitment.

We Have Restricted Humans From Giving 'free' Food To Bears And Dolphins Because We Know That Such Feeding Would Make Them Dependent And Lead To Their Extinction. But When It Comes To Our Own Species, We Have Difficulty Seeing The Connection Between Short-term Kindness And Long-term Cruelty; We Give Women Money To Have More Children, Making Them More Dependent With Each Child And Discouraging Them From Developing The Tools To Fend For Themselves. The Real Discrimination Against Women, Then, Is 'free Feeding'.

Our Choice Of Partners Is One Of The Clearest Statements About Our Choice Of Values.

Many Black Men Leave Because They Are Financially Responsible - Not Because They Are Emotionally Irresponsible.

Dads In The Family Are Even More Important Than Women In The Workplace. The Workplace Benefits From Women, But The Family Needs Dads.

But When Feminists Suggest That God Might Be A She Without Suggesting That The Devil Might Also Be Female, They Must Be Opposed.

Our Main Reasons For Fearing Males Having Sex With Males Is That You Really Had To Construct A More Powerful Social Role To Keep Men In Their Place Than You Did To Keep Women In Their Place.

The 'enduring Theme' [in Fiction] Of Male Competition And Female Competition For The Hero/survivor Has Taken Us From The Fittest Surviving To The Brink Of No One Surviving. Sex Roles Have Gone From Functional To Dysfunctional Almost Overnight. This Is Why The Enduring Theme Must Be Questioned Now.

And We Reduce Almost All Male-female Problems By Working On Both The Female And The Male. And That Usually Means Having Both Sexes Take Responsibility.

Visitation Reflects The Era Of The Absentee Father; Parent Time Influences The Re-emergence Of The Involved Father. Visitation Reflects The Destruction Of The Family; Parent Time Influences The Reconstruction Of The Family. Parent Time Influences An Era That Understands That As Either Parent Loses, So Lose The Children.

Male Bashing Is Everywhere. It Would Be A Mistake To View The Current Situation As Another Skirmish In The War Between The Sexes. Women Have Been Doing The Shooting, And Men Have Been Burying Their Heads In The Sand, Hoping The Bullets Will Miss.

Ideally There Should Not Be A Men's Movement But A Gender Transition Movement; Only The Power Of The Women's Movement Necessitates The Temporary Corrective Of A Men's Movement. And This Creates A Special Challenge For Men: There Are Few Political Movements Filled With Healthy People, Yet Few Healthy Changes Have Occurred Without Political Movements.

Together, We Came To Understand How We Beg Men To Express Feelings, But Then When Men Do Express Feelings, We Call It Sexism, Male Chauvinism, Or Backlash.

We Would Not Think Of Allowing A Man To Determine A Woman's Life Merely Because A Fetus He Helped Create Was In Her Womb; Then Why Would We Allow A Woman To Determine A Man's Life Merely Because A Fetus He Helped Create Is In Her Womb?

Empathy Is At The Core Of Family Stability And Love. I've Never Had A Couple Come To Me And Say, I Want A Divorce; My Partner Understands Me.

Fear Of Emotional Contact With Men Out Of Fear Of Being A Sexual Suspect Makes Boys, Ironically, Even More Powerless Before Girls. Homophobia Is Like Telling The United States It Will Be A Sissy Nation If It Doesn't Get All Its Oil From Opec.

Humans Tend To Start The Process Of Change By Acknowledging Themselves. Thus Blacks Asserted Black Pride And 'black Is Beautiful;' Women Declared 'i Am Woman, I Am Strong'; Men Are Saying 'i Am Man, I Am Okay.' After A Quarter Of A Century Of Male Bashing, That's Not A Bad Start.

Programs Like Wic (women, Infants, And Children) Subsidize The Exclusion Of Dads.

In San Diego There Is A Highly Popular Course Called How To Marry Money. Note That The Marriage Is To Money - Not To A Person. I Inquired About The Percentage Of Men Attending... 'the Course Is Really For Women,' [the Instructor Replied,] 'it's Not Relevant To Men.'

I'm Not Saying That Men Make Better Fathers Than Women Do Mothers.

On An Unconscious Level, The Demonization Of Sexuality Usually Implies The Demonization Of Males And The Victimization Of Females.

I Define Power As Control Over Ones Life. A Balanced Life Is Far Superior To The Male Definition Of Power: Earning Money Someone Else Spends While He Dies Sooner.

Nobody Really Believes In Equality Anyway.

One Danger Of A Man Succeeding Is That It Teaches His Wife And Daughter Not To Worry About Success.

Industrialization Created The Father's Catch-22: A Dad Loving His Children By Being Away From The Love Of His Children.

Men May Be Way Behind In Creating Choices For Themselves, But Have Actually Been Quiet Supporters Of The Choices Women Want For Themselves.

Somehow, Women's Romance Novels Are Not Titled He Stopped When I Said "no". They Are, Though, Titled Sweet Savage Love, In Which The Woman Rejects The Hand Of Her Gentler Lover Who Saves Her From The Rapist And Marries The Man Who Repeatedly And Savagely Rapes Her. It Is This "marry The Rapist" Theme That Not Only Turned Sweet Savage Love Into A Best-seller But Also Into One Of Women's Most Enduring Romance Novels.

With Men, We Blame The Victim. We Blame Men Because We Have Camouflaged Men's Victimization By Teaching Men To Also Be The Victimizer. Men's Victimizer Status Camouflages Men's Victim Status.

Although A Government Study Found That Men's Health Was Much Worse Than Women's Health Or The Health Of Any Minority Group, Headlines Around The Country Read: 'minorities Face Large Health Care Gap.' They Did Not Say: 'men Face Large Health Care Gap.' Why? Because We Associate The Sacrifice Of Men's Lives With The Saving Of The Rest Of Us, And This Association Leads Us To Carry In Our Unconscious An Incentive Not To Care About Men Living Longer.

In America And In Most Of The Industrialized World, Men Are Coming To Be Thought Of By Feminists In Very Much The Same Way That Jews Were Thought Of By Early Nazis. The Comparison Is Overwhelmingly Scary.

The Irony Of Primary Parent Laws Is That On The One Hand Feminists Were Arguing For Women's Equal Rights To Jointly-created Career Assets That Emanated From The Male Financial Womb, But Arguing Against Men's Equal Rights To Jointly-created Children That Emanated From The Woman's Child-bearing Womb.

Crime, Especially Crime Involving Money, Reflects The Gap Between The Expectation To Provide And The Ability To Provide... If We Really Want Men To Commit Crime As Infrequently As Women, We Can Start By Not Expecting Men To Provide For Women More Than We Expect Women To Provide For Men.

It Is In The Interests Of Both Sexes To Hear The Other Sex's Experience Of Powerlessness.

The Problem With Every Judgment Of Sexual Behavior Is That It Is Made By People Who Aren't Being Stimulated As They Are Making The Judgment. A Jury That Sees A Woman In A Sterile Courtroom, Asks Her What She Wanted, And Then Assumes That Anything Else She Did Was The Responsibility Of The Man Is Insulting Not Only The Woman But The Power Of Sex.

Without Husbands, Women Have To Focus On Earning More. They Work Longer Hours, They're Willing To Relocate And They're More Likely To Choose Higher-paying Fields Like Technology.

Men Are Often A Lot Less Vindictive Than Women Are, Because We Are Rejected Constantly Every Day.

We Can Decrease Abuse And Murder When We Get That For Both Sexes, Abuse Does Not Derive From Power, But Powerlessness.

To Me, God Is The Accumulated Wisdom I've Gathered Throughout My Life. When I Pay Attention, My Body Gives Me A Printout Of This Wisdom.

Male Makeup Is Men's Titles, Status And Paying For Dates. Makeup Is What Both Sexes Use To Bridge The Gap Between The Power They Have And The Power They'd Like To Have. Both Male And Female Makeup Are Compensations For Feelings Of Powerlessness.

Men Make More Money But Have Lower Net Worths.

By Starving Our Children Of Men, We Have Made Them More Vulnerable To The Very Abuse We Are Trying To Prevent.

Men Tuned Into Women But Not Tuned Into Their Own Hurts Usually Retained The Attitude That Women Needed Special Protection.

Men Are The Rosie-the-riveters Of Parenting. They're Brought In Only When Needed, And Considered Disposable Thereafter.

Survey 2001: Men Who Never Married, Never Had A Child, Worked Full Time And Were College Educated Earn Only 85% Of What Women With The Same Criteria Earn.

[this Is] The Basis Of The Innocent Woman Defense The Innocent Woman Principle:;: Women Are Believed When They Say They Are Innocent Of Violence And Most Easily Doubted When They Say They Are Guilty Of Violence.

Boys With A Failure To Launch Are Invisible To Most Girls. With Poor Social Skills, The Boys Feel Anger At Their Fear Of Being Rejected And Self-loathing At Their Inability To Compete.

A Woman With Organizing Skills Can Run A Construction Company Without Ever Picking Up A Hammer And Nail.

A Man Convicted Of Murder Is Twenty Times More Likely Than A Woman Convicted Of Murder To Receive The Death Penalty. Since The 1976 Reinstatement Of The Death Penalty, 120 Men And Only 1 Woman Have Actually Been Executed. The Woman, From North Carolina, Said She Preferred To Be Executed. In North Carolina, A Man Who Commits Second-degree Murder Receives A Sentence On Average Of 12.6 Years Longer Than A Woman Who Commits Second-degree Murder.

When We Commit Violence Against An Infant Girl, We Call It Child Abuse; When We Commit Violence Against An Infant Boy, We Call It Circumcision.

My Wife's Income Allowed Me To Do What I Really Loved. I Realized That Women's Liberation Is Men's Liberation, Too.

Men Are Socialized To Trust Women Until Evidence To The Contrary Surfaces; Women Are Socialized To Be Suspicious Of Men Until An Individual Man Earns Trust.

In Stage I, Divorces Were Not Allowed, So Men's [sexual] Affairs Did Not Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy; In Stage Ii, Affairs Could Lead To Divorce, So Men's Affairs Did Place Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy. We Did Not Want Political Leaders Who Would Be Role Models For Behavior That Would Put Women's Economic Security In Jeopardy.

Women-in-jeopardy Movies Are, In Essence, The Updated Versions Of Men Dying To Save The Princess From The Dragon To Earn Her Love. They Are Modern-day Training Films For Teaching Women To Select The Best Protectors While Weeding Out The Rest.

In The Past We Believed Both Sexes Were Born With Original Sin. Today, We Have Come To Unconsciously Believe In The Original Sin Of Boys, But The Original Innocence Of Girls.

Women's Scars And Rituals Involved Beauty (piercing Ears And Noses, Binding Feet, And Wearing Corsets); Men's Involved Protecting Women. In Cultures In Which Physical Strength Is Still The Best Way To Protect Women, As Among The Dodos In Uganda, Each Time A Man Kills A Man, He Is Awarded A Ritual Scar; The More Scars, The More He Is Considered Eligible.

This Is The First Time In History That We've Had This Level Of Luxury, So We Have A New Opportunity To Rethink The Way We Approach God.

When Women Are At The Height Of Their Beauty Power And Exercise It, We Call It Marriage. When Men Are At The Height Of Their Success Power And Exercise It, We Call It A Mid-life Crisis.

Men Are Likely To Be Quite Generous, Especially Financially.

When A Government Requires A Man To Support A Child He Was Tricked Into Creating, That Government Subsidizes Fraud. No. It Is Worse Than That: It Subsidizes The Woman Using A Man's Body For 18-21 Years Without His Consent.

When A Man Is Able To Connect With His Feelings, He Is Able To Care More.

In Fact, The Socialization Gives Us The Tools To Fill Our Evolutionary Roles. They Are Our Building Blocks.

And With The Rape, I Was Showing Why The Rape Statistics Are Exaggerated, And Saying That Date Rape Was Much More Complex Than The Way Feminists Had Portrayed It, As Men Oppressing Women.

It Is Ironic That A Movement That Made Its Reputation Championing The Irrelevance Of Biological Differences When Those Differences Were To Most Women's Disadvantage Immediately Returned To Biological Determinism When Those Differences Were To The Most Women's Advantage.

When A Man Is Forced Into Early Retirement, He Is Often Being 'given Up For A Younger Man.' Being Forced Into Early Retirement Can Be To A Man What Being 'given Up For A Younger Woman' Is For A Woman... Why Do Many Men Get More Upset By Retirement Than Women Do From The Empty Nest When Their Children Leave Home? When Females Retire From Children, They Can Try A Career; When A Man Retires From A Career, His Children Are Gone.

The Male Corporate Model Is Built On A Mans Greater Willingness To Be A Slave Of Sorts - Especially Once He Has To Provide For Children.

Men Are Fair, And They Have Learned Not To Personalize Anger - They Can Disagree With You And Argue To The Bone, But Afterward They Still Consider You A Nice Person With Whom The Underlying Human Relationship Need Not Be Altered.

Because Of The Feminist Perspective, We Have Gotten A View Of The World That Is Distorted.

The More The Father Is Involved, The More Easily The Child Makes Open, Receptive, And Trusting Contact With New People In Its Life.

Divorces Led To Bodies Of Men (called Legislatures) Protecting Women Collectively As Other Men (called Husbands) Failed To Protect Women Individually.

Here's The Pay Paradox That Why Men Earn More Explains: Men Earn More Money, Therefore Men Have More Power; And Men Earn More Money, Therefore Men Have Less Power (earning More Money As An Obligation, Not An Option). The Opposite Is True For Women: Women Earn Less Money, Therefore Women Have Less Power; And Women Earn Less Money, Therefore Women Have More Power (the Option To Raise Children, Or To Not Take A Hazardous Job).

Letting Men Die Is A Money-saving Device. Safety Costs Money As One Safety Official Put It, 'when Everything Is Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, When You Start Pressuring People And Taking Shortcuts, Things Can Go Wrong. And Then People Die.' No. And Then Men Die.

Only When A Woman Shares Male Risks Can She Really Begin To Understand Men.

People Who Work 44 Hours Per Week Make 50 Percent More Than People Who Work 34 Hours A Week.

It Is Important That A Woman’s “noes” Be Respected And Her “yeses” Be Respected.

The Average Full-time Working Male Works More Than A Full-time Working Female.

The Legal Bias For Special Protection For Women Has Begun To Wreak Havoc With The Constitution's Guarantee Of Equal Protection.

Once Boys' And Men's Challenges Are Clear, The Question 'why Now' Quickly Becomes 'why Didn't We See This Sooner?' The Answer? Virtually Every Society That Survived Did So By Socializing Its Sons To Be Disposable.

When Only Men Could Register To Vote, We Required Only Men To Register For The Draft. Today Both Sexes Can Vote, But Only Men Must Register For The Draft.

Sex Role Training Becomes Divorce Training.

Women Do Not Enter A Profession In Significant Numbers Until It Is Physically Safe. So Until We Care Enough About Men's Safety To Turn The Death Professions Into Safe Professions, We In Effect Discriminate Against Women. But When We Overprotect Women And Only Women It Also Leads To Discrimination Against Women. ...if [an Employer Works] For A Large Company For Which Quotas Prevent Discrimination, They Find Themselves Increasingly Hiring Free-lancers Rather Than Taking On A Woman And Therefore A Possible Sexual Harassment Lawsuit.

A Man Perceives Himself As Owning And Being Owned By A Woman.

Feminists Often Discuss Women Having Two Jobs: Work And Children. True. But No One Discusses Those Divorced And Remarried Men Who Have Three Jobs: Work, And Two Sets Of Children To Nurture And Financially Support.

The Only Men Who Aren't In Fear Of Women's Reactions Are Usually Men Who Aren't Born Or Who Are Dead.

I Found That Women Entrepreneurs Earn 50% Less Than Their Male Counterparts.

It Certainly Has Not Been In My Self-interest To Defend Men.

When Women And Men Have Approximately Equal Life Expectancies, It Seems To Be Because Women Die Not Only In Childbirth (fewer Than Thought) But About Equal From Diseases; Poor Sanitation And Water; Inadequate Healthcare; And Diseases Of Malnutrition. In Industrialized Societies, Early Deaths Are Caused More By Diseases Triggered By Stress, Which Breaks Down The Immune System. It Is Since Stress Has Become The Key Factor That Men Have Died So Much Sooner Than Women.

When We Look At The Pay Of Men And Women Who Do Work Equal Hours, Two Discoveries Are Quite Astonishing: --when Women And Men Work Less Than 40 Hours A Week, The Women Earn More Than The Men; --when Men And Women Work More Than 40, The Men Earn More Than The Women.

In Our Society, The Sound Of Men Complaining Is Like Nails On A Chalkboard.

When Men In Relationships Have More Money, We Say They Have The Power. When Women In Relationships Have More Money, We Say They Are Being Used.

Every Movement Has Radicals. But The Important Thing Is That The Radicals Are Not The Leaders.

Perhaps The Best Reason To Consider The Hard Sciences Is That, Well, One Study Suggests Science, Engineering, Medicine, And Dentistry Graduates Live Longer Than Arts Graduates (or Law Grads). So Whatever Money You Make You Can Keep A Bit Longer.

If A Female Employee Is Offended, A Boss Would Like Her To Tell Him, Not Sue Him.

The Rules Of Sexism Do Not Free Men From The Terror Of Violence; They Only Keep Men From Complaining About It.

Sexual Harassment Legislation In Its Present Form Makes All Men Unequal To All Women.

A Man's Primary Fantasy Is Access To A Variety Of Attractive Women Without The Fear Of Rejection.

Students Coming From Father-present Families Score Higher In Math And Science Even When They Come From Weaker Schools.

[with Respect To Child Custody] A Woman Has No Right To A Unilateral Choice That Affects The Rest Of A Man's Life Any More Than A Man Would Have The Right To A Unilateral Choice That Affects The Rest Of A Woman's Life.

In Brief, When A Man Fails As A Wallet, We Put Him In Prison; When A Woman Fails As A Mother, We Offer Her Social Services. We're Taking A Criminal Approach To Men, A Social Services Approach To Women.

It Is Important For A Father Who Feels Pushed Away [by The Mom] To Say, In Effect, When You Do That, I Feel Unwanted As A Father, Or I Feel My Rough-housing Is Not Bad Parenting; It's My Contribution To Helping Our Child Take Risks. Women Cannot Hear What Men Do Not Say.

Our Children Are Better Served By Speaking Not Of Visitation Versus Custody, But Of Parent Time.

Women's Genetic Celebrity Power Magnifies Men's Protector Instinct. It Inspires The Government-as-substitute-husband. Men's Addiction To The Genetic Celebrity Is Either Invisible Or In The Denial Stage Thus We Either Don't See It, Or When Confronted, Deny It.

Until Recently, The Question Was 'why Can't A Woman Be More Like A Man?' It Should Have Been Changed To 'why Can't Both Sexes Be More Like The Best Parts Of Each Other?' Instead, The Pendulum Swung To The 1960s Feminist Lapel Button Adam Was A First Draft. True Enough. So Are We All.

The Teenage Female Has Less Demand To Perform And More Resources To Attract Love. Her Body And Mind Are More Genetic Gifts.

Women Attempt Suicide More Often Because They Want To Become The Priority Of Those They Love Rather Than Always Prioritizing Them.

For Example, The Equivalent Of A Woman Being Treated As A Sex Object Is A Man Being Treated As A Success Object.

In A Sense, In The Area Of Child Care, Children's Relationships With Parents' Working Has Come Full Circle. We Have Gone From The Mom-and-pop Store (or Mom-and-pop Farm), With Its Integration Of Child Care And Work, To Children-at-home And Dad-at-work; To The Mom-plus-daddy Working At Home, With Its Integration Of Childcare And Work Again. From Mom-and-pop Back To Mom-and-pop.

In One Decade, Women Had Gotten More Protection Against Offensive Jokes In The Workplace Than Men Had Gotten In Centuries Against Being Killed In The Workplace.

I Am Often Asked Why Men Don't Get As Worked Up As They Might About Women - Particularly Poor Women - Having To Use Their Bodies As Prostitutes. Because Most Men Unconsciously Experience Themselves As Prostitutes Every Day - The Miner, The Firefighter, The Construction Worker, The Logger, The Soldier, The Meatpacker - These Men Are Prostitutes In The Direct Sense: They Sacrifice Their Bodies For Money And For Their Families.

Construction Workers

Employers Are Not Prohibited From Practicing Sex Discrimination In Hiring And Promoting Employees.

After A Divorce, Men's Biggest Fear Is, Typically, Losing Their Children (women's Is Poverty).

Sometimes I Have A Feeling, When I Look Back On My Life, That All I've Been Through Has Prepared Me Perfectly For Just What I'm Doing Now.

Both Sexes Allow Men Dentists Inside Our Mouths, But, Well, Have You Ever Let A Man Who Is A Dental Hygienist Inside Your Mouth? The Man Must Earn His Way To Our Private Places In A Way Not Required Of A Woman--he Must Become The Doctor Or The Dentist, Or Forget It.

Throughout My Life I Have Always Been Amazed That People Couldn't Listen To Other People, That They Couldn't Hear Their Best Intent, That There Seemed To Be An Enormous Need To Demonize.

Even A 30-year-old Man Whose Wife Dies Is Eleven Times More Likely To Commit Suicide Than A 30-year-old Man Whose Wife Is Living. At Age 30, When Men Can Bury Themselves In Their Jobs And Are Physically And Financially Attractive To Women, The Loss Of The One Woman A Man Loves Is So Devastating It Is Often Not Softened Even By The Opportunities For Many Women... In Brief, It Is The Loss Of Love That Devastates Men.

For Thousands Of Years, Most Marriages Were In Stage I--survival-focused. After World War Ii, Marriages Increasingly Flirted With Stage Ii--a Self-fulfillment Focus... Love's Definition Is In A Transition.

Every Day, Almost As Many Men Are Killed At Work As Were Killed During The Average Day In Vietnam. For Men, There Are, In Essence, Three Male-only Drafts: The Draft Of Men To All The Wars; The Draft Of Everyman To Unpaid Bodyguard; The Draft Of Men To All The Hazardous Jobs Or 'death Professions.

People Who Get Higher Pay Are More Willing To Relocate--especially To Undesirable Locations At The Company's Behest... A Corporate Secretary May Change Companies In The Same Town; A Corporate Executive Is More Likely To Change Towns With The Same Company. A Talented Corporate Secretary Sees An Invitation To Relocate As An Invitation; A Future Corporate Executive Sees An Invitation To Relocate As An Opportunity--and An Obligation.

Women's Vulnerability Confessing Their Desire To See Men As A Success Object Is Matched By Men's Confession Of Compulsiveness Of Sexual Desire For Women.

So Long As You Create Laws That Define Women As Victims, As Creatures That Demand Protection, That Need Bodyguards, You Are Going To Perpetuate The Very Worst Of Our Sexist Past.

I'm An Awfully Loyal Friend. Once I've Started A Relationship With Someone, It's Like They Are Syrup And I'm A Pancake. Their Syrup Gets Into My Pancake, So To Speak.

The Five Different Areas In Which Boys Are In Crisis - Education; Jobs; Emotional Health; Physical Health; And Fatherlessness - Are Handled By Different Portions Of The Government.

Is There Discrimination Against Women? Yes. There's No Denying That The Old Boys' Network Is Alive And Well. But There's Also Discrimination Against Men.

When A Parent Denies A Child Its Parent Time, That Parent Is Denying The Child Its Child Support - Its Psychological Child Support.

There Are 25 Differences In The Way Women And Men Behave In The Workplace. These 25 Differences Lead To Men Receiving Higher Pay And Women Having Better Lives Or At Least More Balanced Lives.

Just As Women Needed The Help Of The Law To Enter The Workplace In The 20th Century, Men Will Need The Help Of The Law To Love Their Children In The 21st Century.

In Brief, We Do More Research On Men In Prison, Men In The Military, And Men In General Than We Do On Women For The Same Reason We Do More Research On Rats Than We Do On Humans.

Men’s Greatest Weakness Is Their Facade Of Strength, And Women’s Greatest Strength Is Their Facade Of Weakness.

After Years Of Research, I Discovered 25 Differences In The Work-life Choices Of Men And Women. All 25 Lead To Men Earning More Money, But To Women Having Better Lives.

It Would Be Hard To Find A Single Example In History In Which A Group That Cast More Than 50 Percent Of The Vote Got Away With Calling Itself The Victim... Women Are The Only 'oppressed' Group To Share The Same Parents As The 'oppressor'; To Be Born Into The Middle Class And Upper Class As Frequently As The 'oppressor'; To Own More Of The Culture's Luxury Items Than The 'oppressor'.

Companies Like I.b.m. Have Offered Women Scholarships To Study Engineering For Years, And Women Engineers Routinely Get Higher Starting Salaries Than Men.

Asking The Legal System To Resolve Divorce Is Like Asking A Boxing Coach To Be Our Marriage Counselor.

Unless A Woman Asks Men Out (the First Time) As Often As Men Ask Her Out, Then The Assertion 'he Asked Me Out, Therefore He Pays' Is Just A Double Jeopardy Of The Male Role: He Must Not Only Do The Asking, He Must Pay Extra For Risking Extra Rejection.

Sexual Harassment In The Workplace Confuses Rewards For Performance With Rewards For Attractiveness And Sexual Availability.

All Societies That Have Survived Based On Their Ability To Prepare Their Sons To Be Disposable, In War And At Work - And Therefore As Dads.

I Am A Men's Liberationist (or "masculist") When Men's Liberation Is Defined As Equal Opportunity And Equal Responsibility For Both Sexes. I Am A Feminist When Feminism Favors Equal Opportunities And Responsibilities For Both Sexes. I Oppose Both Movements When Either Says Our Sex Is The Oppressed Sex, Therefore, "we Deserve Rights." That's Not Gender Liberation But Gender Entitlement. Ultimately, I Am In Favor Of Neither A Women's Movement Nor A Men's Movement But A Gender Transition Movement.

Although Our Grammar Schools Are Teaching A Whole Generation Computer Language To Adjust To The Technological Needs Of A Stage Ii [post Survival-focused] Society, We Have Neglected To Teach This Generation Relationship Language And Conflict Resolution Skills To Address The Social And Psychological Needs Of A Stage Ii Society. And When It Is Taught, In Countries Like Germany, Although Called Social Competence It Focuses On Workplace Teamwork - Still On Survival, Breadwinner Oriented Work Goals.

When Women Hold Off From Marrying Men, We Call It Independence. When Men Hold Off From Marrying Women, We Call It Fear Of Commitment.

Irony: While We Increasingly Hold People More Responsible If They Drink And Drive, We Hold Women Less Responsible If They Drink And Have Sex.

Now, Since I'm A Husband And Father, Discrimination Against Women Isn't Just Political, It's Personal.

If My Parents Had Made Love A Tenth Of A Second Earlier Or Later, I Wouldn't Exist. What An Enormous Miracle, Just Being Given Life.

A Person Working 45 Hours Per Week Averages 44% More Income Than Someone Working 40 Hours Per Week. That's 44% More Income For 13% More Time.

How Can I Call Security A Woman's Primary Fantasy If I Am Saying It Is Also Her Primary Need? Because While Her Primary Need Is The Security Of A Home And A Family Circle, Her Primary Fantasy Is That Someone Else Will Earn Enough To Pay For Them. Hence The Focus Of 2 Billion Women On The Latest Royal Wedding.

Men Don't Oppress Women Any More Than Women Oppress Men.

The Government As Substitute Husband Did For Women What Labor Unions Still Have Not Accomplished For Men. And Men Pay Dues For Labor Unions; The Taxpayer Pays The Dues For Feminism. Feminism And Government Soon Become Taxpayer-supported Women's Unions.

Self-help Books For Those Who Believe 'you Can Have It All' Often Advise, 'follow Your Bliss And Money Will Follow.' With The Collapse Of The Stock Markets The Reality Of Trade-offs Is More Like, 'when You Follow Your Bliss, It's Money You'll Miss.'

I've Gone From Being Quite Wealthy, When I Was Defending Women, To Being Quite Poor Defending Men.

Both Parents' Rights Must Be In Balance So Children Can Grow Up With A Balance Between Both Parents.

No Movement Calls [migrant Workers] Oppressed For Providing Money For Women From Whom They Are Receiving Neither Cooking Nor Cleaning; For Providing Their Wives With Homes While They Sleep On The Ground.

Ive Always Been Motivated To Stop People From Doing Dysfunctional Things.

So We've Moved From An Era When Women's Biology Was Women's Destiny To Today, Which Is An Era In Which Men's Biology Is Men's Destiny.

I Feel Awed By The Mystery Of Being Both So Finite And Yet So Infinite, So Much And So Little, So Conscious And Yet, So Coincidental.

Men's Competitive Team Sports Focus On The Balance Between Individual Achievement And Team Achievement With The Emphasis On Team Achievement.

Blacks Are Six Times More Likely Than Whites To Be Victims Of Homicides.

When We Hear Men Are The Greater Victims Of Crime, We Tend To Say, 'well, It's Men Hurting Other Men.' When We Hear That Blacks Are The Greater Victims, We Consider It Racist To Say, 'well, It's Blacks Hurting Blacks.' The Victim Is A Victim No Matter Who The Perpetrator Was.

Were We To Still Be Circumcising The Hood Of The Female Clitoris, We Would Not Have Difficulty Considering This A Continuation Of Our Tradition To Keep Girls Sexually Repressed. America's Reflexive Continuation Of [male] Circumcision-without-research Reflects The Continuation Of Our Tradition To Desensitize Boys To Feelings Of Pain, To Prepare Them To Question The Disposability Of Their Bodies No More Than They Would Question The Disposability Of Their Foreskins.

All Women's Issues Are To Some Degree Men's Issues And All Men's Issues Are To Some Degree Women's Issues Because When Either Sex Wins Unilaterally Both Sexes Lose.

For The First Time In Human History The Psychology That Is A Prerequisite For Intimacy Has Become The Psychology That Is A Prerequisite For Species Survival.

It Evolved From My Experience In The Fifties, Growing Up During The Mccarthy Era, And Hearing A Lot Of Assumptions That America Was Wonderful And Communism Was Terrible.

In A Sense, Sexual Harassment Lawsuits Are Just The Latest Version Of The Female Selection Process Allowing Her To Select For Men Who Care Enough For Her To Put Their Career At Risk; Who Have Enough Finesse To Initiate Without Becoming A Jerk And Enough Guts To Initiate Despite A Potential Lawsuit. In The Past, Though, The Process Of His Overcoming Her Barriers Was Called 'courtship.' Now It Is Called Either 'courtship' Or 'sexual Harassment'.

Our Love For Children Is So Immediate In Part Because We Feel Their Powerlessness Immediately; Conversely, Part Of The Way We Deny Our Love For Men Is By Denying Men's Powerlessness. Too Often We Have Confused Love For Men With Respect For Them, Especially For Their Power To Take Care Of Us - Which Is Really Just Love For Ourselves.

If A Woman Isn't Being Hazed, She's Not Being Tested; Therefore, She Is Not Being Trusted.

When Divorces Meant Marriage No Longer Provided Security For A Lifetime, Women Adjusted By Focusing On Careers As Empowerment. But When The Sacrifice Of A Career Met The Sacrifices In A Career, The Fantasy Of A Career Became The Reality Of Trade-offs. Women Developed Career Ambivalence.

Teaching The Child To Treat Boundaries Seriously Teaches The Child To Respect The Rights And Needs Of Others. Thinking Of Another's Needs Creates Empathy.

Let's Face It: Men Do A Lot Of Things In The Workplace That Women Just Don't Do.

Men Are Not Only Women's Unpaid Bodyguards, They Actually Pay To Be A Woman's Bodyguard.

Nobody Has Said To Men, It Is Ok If You Want To Be A Full-time Dad; Find A Woman Who Will Support You.

When Men Give Lines, Women Learn To Not Trust Men. When Women Wear Makeup, Men Learn To Not Trust Women. Male Lines And Female Makeup Are Divorce Training.

Without Children, Men Have More Liberty To Earn Less - That Is, They Are Free To Pursue More Fulfilling And Less Lucrative Careers, Like Writing Or Art Or Teaching Social Studies.

One Can Make A Case That Says That Since 85% Of Children Being Brought Up In Single Family Homes Are Being Brought Up By Women That About 85% Of Elementary School Teachers Should Be Males To Balance Out The Feminization That The Boys And Girls Receive.

The Deeper Purpose Of A More Positive Attitude Toward Men Is A Better Life For The Children Who Are Parented By The Men Who Are Their Dads And Stepdads; Less Shame For Our Sons Who Will Become Men; And, For Our Daughters, A Deeper Understanding Of Men's Desire To Please That Leaves Them Feeling Their Willingness To Please Is Not Unrequited But Returned - Allowing Our Daughters To Feel Less Lonely And More Loved. If We Earn More And Love Less, We Pay For A Home In Which We Do Not Live.

Men Give The Same Lines To Different Women For The Same Reason Women Wear The Same Perfume For Different Men; We All Try The Things That Work.

Sexism Is Discounting The Female Experience Of Powerlessness; The New Sexism Is Discounting The Male Experience Of Powerlessness.

A Shared Choice Movement Sees The Fetus As The Genes Of A Woman And The Genes Of A Man; The Flesh Of The Woman, The Flesh Of The Man; The Bone Of A Woman, The Bone Of A Man; The Responsibility Of A Woman, The Responsibility Of A Man; The Rights Of A Woman, The Rights Of A Man. It Desires A Transition To Equality.

For Me, The Massiveness Of What I Don't Know Is One Way I Experience God. It Creates In Me A Feeling Of Humility And A Sense Of Gratitude.

There Are 80 Jobs In Which Women Earn More Than Men - Positions Like Financial Analyst, Speech-language Pathologist, Radiation Therapist, Library Worker, Biological Technician, Motion Picture Projectionist.

A Family That Knows How To Play Together Has The Tools To Stay Together.

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